The first man who had seated himself at the adjacent table in the elegant restaurant in which I sat, appeared to be a gentleman. Well dressed, friendly toward the waitress, otherwise quiet. Before long, he became more animated when another man joined him and they could be heard chatting enthusiastically about their trip. The chairs around their extended table filled up until the buzz had become noticeable throughout the establishment. Bottles of wine and an assortment of alcoholic beverages were then added to their table, which presently ignited their spirits. Restraint slipped incrementally until the jokes and ensuing laughter could be called rowdy and significantly unpleasant. One particularly loud exclamation ricocheted through the otherwise elegant silence, against well-decorated walls, “Now for a great weekend of gambling!” A roar of agreement rumbled from the band of mutually inflaming mockers.
The now merry gentleman who had first seated himself, suddenly hissed a piercing interjection for silence as he fumbled for his ringing mobile phone. With surprising skill and rapidity, he packed away his raucous party mode and answered his phone in the form of the gentleman in which he had first appeared. To his wife on the other side, he came across as the dependable, conservative family man she knew him to be. He listened patiently and used all of the correct terms of endearment, expressing kindness and devotion. I could sense the tension in the powerful party elastic around the table, as all of the participants endeavoured to suspend their buoyancy moment after unbearable moment while the one comrade amused his wife's desire to know he was alright.
As if gasping for breath after being under water for far too long, they all burst out talking and laughing again the instant the man's wife ended the call. He joined in, and laughing out loud, repeated a line his wife had obviously used in her conversation with him. “Don't forget to have your devotions!” he chanted, cheering unparalleled laughter from the irreverent mob lining the civilized table cloth. How heartless was his betrayal of his caring wife. He had loved her with his mouth, yet clearly, in his heart he had despised her. He despised the standards she desired. He despised what she held dear. He despised the values with which she felt safe. He despised her for interrupting his display of his true character. He despised her for intruding and for embarrassing him. His public mockery of her was painful to witness.
The privilege and value of a marriage relationship cannot be measured. Yet for many who are married, this value is casually spurned. While sealed inside a marriage relationship, the temptation for such people is to continually long for attractive and priceless treasures, believed to exist outside of this relationship. The ordinariness of marriage becomes a drudge that requires the maintenance of a loving mouth, even while the heart despises what it has promised to adore. Sadly, the scoffer of whom we have spoken, has not seen that the ultimate treasure for him is found in that woman he has just loved with his mouth, yet despised in his heart. No greater potential exists than that which is realized in an intentionally cultivated marriage relationship. Why does he find no joy in her? One reason is that he has failed to deliberately devote himself to her in love. He has failed to love his wife with a love that resembles the love of Christ for His church—a love that sacrifices himself for the life and joy of his wife. The loss of a spouse through death quickly destroys, in some cases, this blasé attitude toward the jewel of a caring wife. May this mercy be yours before you love with your lips and despise with your heart, right through the veil of death.
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7/31/14 12:33 PM
