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“ Summary, Part 4 (final) ” No matter how physically and academically gifted your child may be, he is still a slave to sin if unregenerate. Questions for parents: What would you say is the chief goal of your discipline? Does it not extend beyond mere compliance with parental commands? 2. Do you teach your children from the Bible that rebellion against your authority and commands is ultimately rebellion against Christ’s authority and His commands? 3. Do you ever use occasions calling for parental chastening as opportunities to point your children to Christ as the savior of sinners? As the sanctifier of His people through sufferings?
Ian Migala (7/15/2013)
from Minneapolis, Minnesota
“ Summary, Part 3 ” 2. Do your children know the boundaries of acceptable behavior will be enforced with the rod if necessary? 3. Are you teaching your children the pleasures that belong to obedience as well as the pain they may expect from disobedience, especially when the rod must be used as a necessary tool for correction? C. EFFECTIVE PARENTAL DISCCIPLINE AIMS AT CONVERTING THE CHILD’S HEART WHILE CORRECTING HIS BEHAVIOR. The rod is not an end in itself. PROVERBS 23:26, 3:1, 23:15: Biblical parenting should become the fabric of the child’s heart. If truly applied, and the child’s heart remains unchanged after they’re on their own, then the parents have been the success and the child is the failure. Gaining the child’s heart should be the end of Biblical parenting. Outward conformity does not guarantee this. ROMANS 6:17-18: saving faith brings obedience from the heart. You don’t want your child to be a little Pharisee: clean and proper on the outside or around you, and rebellious and wicked inside and elsewhere. YOU WANT YOUR CHILDREN TO KNOW THAT YOU’RE AFTER THEIR HEART. A merely respectable person is far, far different from a regenerate one; the former is still a slave to sin and unrighteousness. If you don’t have your child’s heart, you don’t really have your child at all.
Ian Migala (7/15/2013)
from Minneapolis, Minnesota
“ Summary, Part 2 ” What are those areas of disagreement? If you have differences, are you working on unifying your philosophy and practice? 2. Do your children know that they cannot effectively play mom against dad to get their way? What consequences do they face if they attempt to pit you against your spouse? 3. Parents, do you require your children to show equal respect to you and your spouse? Fathers especially, do you require your children (especially older boys) to demonstrate proper respect for their mother? B. EFFECTIVE PARENTAL DISCIPLINE BEGINS EARLY IN THE CHILD’S LIFE. We were not born good and then corrupted later; we were born sinful. Ryle: if a child is not brought to obedience at an early age, he will contend with God his whole life. PROVERBS 19:18: discipline WHILE THERE IS HOPE. Hymn: “Trust and Obey.” The rod should be applied when a child is old enough to understand commands and disobeys them. Disobedience should bring pain, and obedience should bring pleasure. Questions for parents: 1. If you are the parent of a young child, have you begun corrective as well as formative discipline? If not, why not? Corrective discipline should begin long before a child can reason; the disobedience-pain association should be instinctive.
Ian Migala (7/15/2013)
from Minneapolis, Minnesota
“ Summary, Part 1 ” Today, we continue with IV. GOD’S WORD PRESENTS ESSENTIAL PRINCIPLES FOR EFFECTIVE PARENTAL DISCIPLINE. These principles are self-evident. A. EFFECTIVE PARENTAL DISCIPLINE REQURES UNITY OF PHILOSOPHY AND PRACTICE BETWEEN BOTH PARENTS. We see this in the grace of the Persons of the Trinity for the elect: the Father planned our salvation, the Son accomplished our salvation, and the Holy Spirit applies our salvation. If the parents are not unified in parental practice, there will be problems. PROVERBS 1:8, 6:20, 23:22: examples of father/mother parallelism, all showing that you cannot forsake one parent. PROVERBS 30:11: a negative parallelism, where the parents were unified and the child despised both. EPHESIANS 6:1: Paul’s command assumes that both parents are Christians, that the Lord’s authority supports their authority, and that it is right for a child to obey parents in unity with each other. Parents’ authority is not in their size or power, but in the Lord; in commands sanctioned by Scripture. When a child plays parents off each other, there is a problem with the authority structure in that home. Questions for parents: 1. Are you and your spouse on the same page regarding the formative and especially the corrective discipline of your children? If not, why not?
