the role, the role of the husband, the role of the wife, communication in the home which is really important to be able to communicate in the home properly between the husband and the wife and children and all of that. About conflict or disagreements and the Bible has a lot to say about that and how we should handle that sort of thing. Even about family worship and how to open up the Bible together and share with one another what God is doing in our lives in the home. But the topic that I kept coming back to in my mind and heart was this topic of forgiveness. It's one of the topics that Christi and I deal the most with when it comes to the counseling, the biblical counseling that we do as it relates to family ministry, family counseling. Actually, whenever Pastor Todd mentioned this this morning, Matt Herbster saw me at lunch today and he said he really was glad we're covering this topic because it's one of the things that he noticed at the Wilds from the teenagers to adults that is so often either misunderstood is not followed. The biblical principles are not followed. So, what I'd like to do tonight is kind of give us a big picture overview of what biblical forgiveness is and what it is not. There's really a lot of misunderstanding about this topic. Every book I can find on this topic I pick up and read it. If you know of books out there on the topic of forgiveness please I would welcome a recommendation. I'm going to give you a couple of recommendations tonight during this time together. But I read everything I can gather and know about regarding this particular topic, and there really is a lot of misunderstanding and different teaching on the topic. So, we'll go through some passages together tonight, and I trust it will be a blessing to you as we give kind of a big picture overview of what biblical forgiveness looks like. Turn to your Bibles, or in your Bible, Ephesians chapter 4, let's begin reading in verse 29. Ephesians 4, verse 29. The Bible says in verse 29, let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth. First of all the word corrupt here is talking about what you would think it would be, bad language, foul language, profane language. But also it's more than that because you see the next word in here, but, there's a contrast between the corrupt communication and what is to follow, which is that which is good to the use of edifying that it may minister grace unto the hearers. So it's talking about the right sort of communication we should have in the home. And then it should be encouraging language, encouraging communication. And by the way, as I speak tonight, I really would like to challenge all of you, while this topic of forgiveness really spans not only husband and wife or family matters, it spans all relationships. But my purpose tonight is really looking at it particularly as it relates to families and forgiveness within the family. So let's look at it as it relates to that. And so I would ask you to think about even your own family as it relates to this. Verse 30. Grieve not the Holy Spirit of God whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and evil speaking be put away from you with all malice now verse 31 I really call call that the the downward spiral of an unforgiving spirit I would, we don't have the time tonight to go through that, just that verse, but I'd encourage you to look at every one of those, look up every one of those words, and what you'll see there is a downward spiral taking place here. It's an unforgiving spirit beginning with bitterness, something internal that goes on, and ending with malice, which is really very outward, hoping someone really receives pain or harm. And that's that downward spiral of an unforgiving spirit, verse 31. Now verse 32. And this is the verse I would challenge us that each of us would, in our homes, allow this verse to govern our behavior this week. Allow this verse to govern all of our interactions in our home and in our interpersonal relationship this week. Let's look at it, verse 32. And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God, for Christ's sake, hath forgiven you. What a wonderful verse for us to put on the walls of our houses and really to look at those verses, to really apply those verses to our lives. I wonder in your family this last week, did that verse govern all the things that you said and did last week? If it didn't, let me challenge you to consider what God has saved to us here. This really should govern our homes, being kind to each other and having a tender heart towards one another. in our relationships, and of course, forgiving, even as God, for Christ's sake, has forgiven you. What we'll see in several verses here in just a few minutes is that that's the standard. God, for Christ's sake, has forgiven us. That's the standard of our forgiveness. That's the measure of our forgiveness. it's a high standard, it's a high bar but that is what God tells us over, and over, and over again throughout Scripture. What I'd like to look at is several verses regarding this topic of forgiveness. Christine will have it on the screen there. First of all in Colossians chapter 3 verse 13. If you have your Bibles you're welcome to turn we're going to go through a number of passages pretty quickly here. So, she'll have it there. Look at Colossians 3 verse 13 the Bible says forbearing one another. The word forbearing there means mutual forbearance or bearing burdens for one another. So again, consider your family, consider your relationships and how you might apply this to your life regarding the burdens that your brother, your sister may carry, the burdens that your wife may be carrying or your husband may be carrying, bearing burdens for one another. So forbearing one another and, here it is again, forgiving one another. If any man have a quarrel against any, even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. Even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. Now, when I first read this passage several weeks ago, as I began preparing for this message, the thought that came to my mind, the song that we sang several weeks ago, Pastor Rob, our sinful rags exchanged for the glorious robes of righteousness. that exchange that took place. That's Christ's forgiveness of us. You know, what I've noticed throughout our time ministering in a private way, discipling others, is that I think sometimes that we look at the person that we're really refusing to forgive, we look at the relationship between us and them as being a greater distance than we do between us and God. Now, we would never say that. practical application that's what we're doing. Because the Bible tells us that we're to forgive even as God for Christ's sake forgave us. Which is my sinful rags in exchange for His robes of righteousness. That's a measurement, that's a standard of our forgiveness that God is talking about here. In Mark chapter 11 verse 25 the Bible says this, when you stand praying. So before we go further, let me just note that it's talking about praying here. So our prayer life is going to be affected by what we're seeing in this passage, which makes it important for any of us. And when you stand praying, here's the word forgive. If you have ought against any, the word ought there actually means it's all inclusive. It's talking about sins and even dislikes. So if you have ought against any, that your father also, which is in heaven, may forgive you your trespasses. Pretty serious business, this area of forgiveness, and what Christ thinks about this area of forgiveness. An unforgiving spirit has an obvious impact on our prayer life and our relationship with Jesus Christ. We really must forgive. Matthew chapter 18, verse 21 says this. Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how all shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Till seven times. Of course, we know that Peter was being rather, he thought that was a pretty big deal, seven times. Do I have to wait seven times? Is one person seven times? And of course, he thought he was being rather magnanimous about that seven times, but look and see what Jesus' answer is. Jesus said unto him, I say not unto thee until seven times, but until 70 times seven. So he says, you're to forgive all the time, Peter, every time. not to be any measurement, not to be any calculator here, measuring 70 times 7, it's to be at all times. We're to forgive. We're to be people who forgive each other. I think one of the things that really harms the cause of Christ and harms our relationship with unbelievers as we're trying to evangelize them is they don't see any difference between us and them. They see us treating one another the same way as they're treating their friends and acquaintances, but we're to forgive. Matthew chapter six, I'm going to ask you to explain this. Someone, I want you to read this. As you read this, I'm going to ask you to help me to understand what this verse means. So read it carefully with me. Matthew chapter six, verse 14 and 15. For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly father will also forgive you. You English majors in here, these are if-then statements. If in statements are qualified, if you do this, then I'll do that. If you don't do this, then I won't do that. That's what this is talking about. Let's take a look at this as it relates to that. For if you forgive men their trespasses, then your heavenly father will also forgive you. But if you forget not men their trespasses, then neither will your father forgive you your trespasses. And what does that mean? That's the question. That's the question for you to answer. I'll answer it in a minute, but I want to hear your thoughts. Anybody, tell me what you think that verse means. Yes, sir. Well, I think when you come to Christ, you're laying it all out there, your repentance, a part of your repentance. So there has to be forgiveness to others that have wronged you. You're just going to say, Lord, I'm sorry. Forgive me for my bad thoughts. Forgive me for everything. That's good. What do you think this last phrase means? Neither will your father forgive your trespasses. What does that mean? If we put it in the context of the parable Jesus told about the two debtors, where one owed a large amount and then one of his friends owed a smaller amount, and the one that owed much refused to forgive the one that owed little. What I believe Jesus is saying here is if we don't forgive each other our trespasses, then we're going to, then God's going to bring up the things that we have done and not ask for forgiveness at the judgment seat of Christ. Okay. Anyone else care to weigh in on this? Yes, sir. I think it could mean that a lot of those who won't forgive may have never been forgiven in the first place. They may have never been saved. Okay. All right. Anyone else care to provide your thoughts? Yes, sir. Okay. Anyone else want to share your thoughts here? Yes sir, Troy? Asking God for forgiveness and forgiving others requires the same spirit of humility, and God will use that to change us very dramatically at times. Okay, good. Yes? I was just going to say, when we When we have ought against a brother any kind of a problem if we don't forgive them Then we are in sin because we're commanded to forgive everyone And when you're in sin you break fellowship with the holy spirit and you don't have his power in your life And I think that's what he's talking about. It's not losing salvation or anything like that It's the fact that your spiritual walk will be impacted by your relationship with everybody around you Right, right, that's very good. Yeah, let me read one commentary I said about this particular verse. This is not to suggest that God will withdraw justification from those who have already received the free pardon that He extends to all believers. Forgiveness in that sense, a permanent and complete acquittal from the guilt and ultimate penalty of sin belongs to all who are in Christ. And I agree with that, that's exactly what we know to be true. Yet, Scripture also teaches that God chastens His children who disobey, Hebrews chapter 12. Believers ought to confess their sin in order to obtain a day-to-day cleansing or to maintain the close relationship or fellowship with Christ, which John was saying here. So, our connection, our relation with Him can be affected by our sin and according to this passage, our lack of forgiveness of others. Now I think all of us know, and there's not a person in this room tonight that would say that we are above the need to have a close relationship with Jesus Christ. I think none of us would be so arrogant as to say that. But the Bible in this particular verse connects a forgiving spirit to that relationship with the Lord. Read the verse again, for if you forgive men their trespasses, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you forgive not their men their trespasses, neither will your Heavenly Father, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. It's critical for us to be forgivers, to forgive others. Psalm chapter 103, Psalm 103 says this in verse 12, as far as the east is from the west, so far hath He removed our transgressions from us. So that's the expansive aspect of God's forgiveness of us. He didn't say from the North Pole to the South Pole. He said as far as the East is from the West, which is, it's infinite. That's God's forgiveness of us. And that's what our forgiveness should be of others, that God for Christ's sake has forgiven us. Matthew 5, chapter 5, verse 44 says this. But I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, Pray for them which despitefully use you and even persecute you. Now, most of us knew and know that verse in the Bible, but I wonder how many of us actually applied that verse to our own lives as it relates to interpersonal relationships. Because this is pretty dramatic in what the words are here, that we're just to forgive. We're to not hold those grudges. We're not to hold those things that are said or done against that person. In Matthew chapter five. And the last verse I'm going to read during this section here is 2 Corinthians chapter two. 10 and 11. The Bible says here, "'To whom ye forgive anything, I forgive also. For if I forgave anything to whom I forgave it, for your sakes forgave I it in the person of Christ.'" Now, this last phrase I want to hear back from you as to what you believe this phrase means. "'Lest Satan should get an advantage of us, for we are not ignorant of his devices.'" Now, what does that mean? You're talking about forgiveness here. Or lack of forgiveness. What does that mean? Yes, sir? Okay, that's very good, very good. Someone else, care to weigh in on that? Let Satan should get an advantage of us, for we're not ignorant of his devices. Yes, sir, Steve? When we're unforgiving, we're ineffective for Christ, and that's what he wants. Okay. He said that when we're not forgiving, we're ineffective for Christ, which is what Satan wants. Anyone else? Yeah, yes, David. I think the more we allow unforgiveness to go within the body of Christ and within the family, we have a splinter, something that is broken apart. And there's not that unity that you need to be able to actually serve God to the same level that you would with a forgiving attitude and the unity that you can have back together again. And Satan knows that when you have that disunity and you have that fragmented, you're never going to have the same power that you would if you're all working together. Okay, yeah, very good. Most of you have probably seen someone that you know, boy, they are bitter. They have a bitter heart. They're bitter against something. Something has happened in their life. There was an explosion that took place, and what seemed to prompt that explosion was not nearly what the explosion, it should not have caused that sort of explosion. Have you seen that before in someone? Hopefully not yourself, but maybe even yourself. That's what we're talking about in this passage, Satan getting an advantage over you and even greatly dividing families, dividing churches, dividing relationships because of an unforgiving spirit. Bible is clear about forgiveness. Now, there are dozens of additional verses that could be shared. I just took just a few of them. I'd encourage you sometime to do a study of forgive, or forgiveness, or forgiving. And just do a word study throughout the entire Bible about what is said about that. You'll see that the Bible, the Lord wants us to forgive. He commands us to forgive. And we just see a few of those verses here. Now, what I want to do in the next few minutes is talk about what is forgiveness, what it isn't, because there really is a great misunderstanding I believe today about this topic. What are some evidences of forgiveness? What are some aspects of it that are maybe some misunderstood? What does biblical repentance look like? I'll tell you, some of you know the story of Saul and David. And Saul and David, they were kind of working through the, Saul was going after David. He didn't like what he heard about David and all the throngs that were happy with David and not so happy with him. And David could have killed him on several occasions and he didn't. And Saul, the words that he was saying there sounded all, it sounded pretty good. It's not like he really was repentant. But David knew in his heart that they weren't. He was not genuinely repentant. I would encourage you to look that up in Genesis and see that story. You'll see what is biblical repentance and what is not. But it's just kind of the earthly sorrow or the lack of true biblical repentance there in Saul. And David was wise to see that. And then we'll look at a biblical model if we have time here and see all these things in it. There's a definition of forgiveness. giving up your right to justice or judgment. Giving up your right to justice or judgment, or another way of saying it is turn the person and the offense over to God. turn the person and the offense over to God. So giving up your right to justice or judgment. Now I wonder, is there anyone in your life or maybe in some relationships, in expanded relationships in your family that you know really has not given that up over the Lord? Has not allowed to realize that God, can God handle that relationship? Can God handle that offense, whatever it may be? And the answer of course is yes, God can handle that. But we want to be the judge. We want to apply the justice and the judgment ourselves instead of allowing a sovereign God to take over that for us. But true forgiveness, biblical forgiveness, in all these passages is turning that person over to the Lord and allowing the Lord to take care of it. Here's some evidence of forgiveness. Often I've been in my office and we're talking to a couple or something and someone will say, well, I've forgiven them. And then the spouse will look over and say, what? When did that happen? You keep bringing it up over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. One of the evidence, here's some of the evidence of forgiveness, of true forgiveness. You will not bring up the offense to the offender, you're not bringing the offense up to others in a gossiping way, or you won't even bring the offense up to yourself. I know we're often are tempted with that, that we're tempted to dwell on how that person said those things about me, or they treated me in this way, or they offended me in whatever way that greatly harmed you. But the evidence of forgiveness is you really are not gonna do that because God has this. It's not me, it's the Lord that can handle whatever happened here. That's biblical forgiveness. Another evidence of forgiveness is you will be willing to begin a reconciliation process. you will be willing to begin a reconciliation process. Now, I worded that carefully because in most of the book, in many of the books that I've read on forgiveness, even those in the, in the some names that I would, that you would recognize, if I told the names of some of the authors in the New Thetic counseling area, the biblical counseling area, there really is an attempt to link forgiveness with reconciliation. In that, many of the authors will say that if you've not reconciled, then you really have not forgiven. If you've not reconciled, then you haven't forgiven. And I just don't believe that's right. I don't believe that's biblical. I believe we've looked at several passages already. We'll look at some other passages here where forgiveness requires one person to act, to forgive. Reconciliation requires two. to reconcile. And there's a difference there. My forgiveness is not dependent upon someone else's decision. God tells me to forgive. And I must forgive, I must be willing to begin that process of reconciliation. But here's the aspects of forgiveness. First is forgiveness, giving up your right to justice or judgment, turning the person and the offender over to God. The second aspect is reconciliation. Reconciliation is conditional, requiring biblical repentance. It's conditional, it requires biblical repentance, or secondly, it may require 1 Peter 4a, love covering a multitude of sins. In either case, often it requires a rebuilding of trust. Let me read about the last stage here, then I'll give you several examples to kind of illustrate this point. The last aspect of forgiveness is complete and total restoration. Sometimes it's really not possible, depending on the offense, and often requires a rebuilding of trust as well. Now, let me give you an example. Darryl is not, Darryl White, is he downstairs counting? Okay, Darryl is head of our counting team, and he's downstairs counting right now, actually. So he won't hear this illustration, but Darryl does a marvelous job with the coordination of our counting team. For you that are new here, we have five different teams. They all have different Sundays that they count. There's a lot of thought that has gone into all the procedures regarding the counting team and the structure there, which really predates my time here. It's really a great process they have in place there. So there really is very little opportunity for anyone to take any money from the church. Uh, in fact, uh, in the office on Monday morning, I will never see what you give. I don't see the off. All I see is the amount of the offering when I get here on, on Monday morning. Uh, but let's say for the sake of this illustration that data over the course of time, someone on one of Darrell's team began to steal some money from the church. Over the course of time, it became to be a lot of money over the course of several years. And suddenly, Darrell found out about it. Well, there's a lot of issues here that really expands over the personal aspect of forgiveness, which is really the primary topic of our discussion here today. Okay, this goes over into civil authority because he's violated the law. So that'll be a factor here. It's going into the church aspect of church discipline, which that's a factor that goes beyond the personal forgiveness. But I think you'll be able to understand through the illustration that let's say that each one of us would forgive him. In fact, we should forgive him for what he did. Let's say he was not repentant for what he did. Well, I would say that Pastor Todd would probably be, and the deacons would be talking about church discipline there because he's not repentant for what he did that really greatly wronged the church. So that's the next step there. Let's say he was biblically repentant. He was genuinely sorrowful, repentant. He was not only sorry for getting caught, but he knows he is a grievous offense against God and against you as a body of believers. Well, we have the civil authority to deal with. That's another issue. We won't talk about that tonight. But let's say that after going to jail for a little while, he gets out. We've forgiven him. He's reconciled unto us. He comes back to church here. Let's say that Darrell decides that he's going to visit him in jail. Would it be wise for Daryl to say, you know what? We've forgiven you. You've been reconciled into the body here soon. We've already had the church disciplined here and you had the right spirit and attitude. Your time on the church accounting team will begin in two weeks. Is that what Daryl would do? I would say no. Is there a rebuilding of trust that should take place here? Yes or no? Yes, we've forgiven him, even reconciled him back into the body of believers here, but he's not going to have complete and total restoration to where it once was until there's a long period of time and maybe he'll never have that privilege once again. You understand the various stages here? Forgiveness, reconciliation, and then complete and total restoration. And there's really a great misunderstanding of where those lines are drawn. Often what, if we're talking about a marriage infidelity, let's say that a husband has been unfaithful, has gotten involved in adultery, And they come in for counseling, so you're working through the whole situation there, the forgiveness, the wife, Christi's working with the wife about forgiveness, what the Bible says about forgiveness. Often what I see on the, if the man has been the one unfaithful, it can go both ways, as we all know. It does go both ways. But I'll say, in this case, the man is unfaithful. then the man has a biblically repentant spirit. Wife is forgiven, there's repentance there. What I've seen happen, actually, is the husband thinks that, well, life's good. Let's get back together again. Like it was, no issues took place here at all. Is that what's going to happen in that scenario? Does it mean that because the wife is not ready to to welcome this this intimacy again that she's not forgiven him? Now I'll say to you that forgiveness is different than reconciliation. Reconciliation requires biblical repentance and often requires the rebuilding of trust. Now on whose shoulders does that rebuilding of trust lie? The wife or the husband in that scenario? No, both, okay. But someone else, on whose shoulders does that lie? I say primarily on the husband. Husband has been the one who's violated the matters there, and he must demonstrate in a number of ways, are willing to rebuild that confidence, rebuild the trust that he has violated there in this relationship. So we've got forgiveness, we've got reconciliation, and we've got the completed total restoration. Let's say a pastor decides to divorce his wife, a pastor. And let's say that he confesses his sin or maybe he remarries someone. I know there's some differences. I was one of the pastors that I had in my childhood years. One of my pastors, assistant pastor, not too many years ago, he divorced his wife of 20 something years. And he remarried and now he's pastoring again. And I ran into him down in Tampa, oh, not too many years ago, and the first words out of his mouth was to explain how he was wrong all those years about that particular topic of forgiveness, or about the pastor and having the remarriage and continue the pastor. That's the first words out of his mouth. I had not asked, I had not mentioned the topic, I had not brought it up at all, was not gonna bring the topic up to him, unless he wanted to talk about it. had changed his opinion based upon his own circumstances. But let's say the way we believe the Bible to teach here if a pastor is in that scenario he may experience forgiveness, he may be reconciled back into the church, but can he pastor? The answer is no. He cannot. He's forfeited that privilege by the choice that he made. It doesn't mean he's not been forgiven. It doesn't mean that he's not even reconciled with his wife possibly. I don't know. Depends on what took place there, that whole scenario there. But there's a difference between those three scenarios there. Biblical repentance. Here's what biblical repentance requires. First of all, freely admitting guilt or fault, freely admitting fault, fully accepting responsibility, humbly asking for forgiveness, immediately changing behavior, and actively rebuilding trust. That's biblical repentance. Now one of the things that's kind of a little pet peeve of mine, I guess, whenever moms and dads are training their children to work through their interpersonal relationships is they stop and say, say you're sorry. Right? Don't raise your hand if you've ever done that. Most of us probably have at some point or the other, but say you're sorry. Now what, maybe you would differ with me in this, but what does that accomplish? I'll say that our goal in parenting is to reach the heart of our child. Is that right? Well, saying you're sorry, does not accomplish that goal necessarily. There's something deeper than that. We need to help our children to understand what forgiveness is and what true biblical repentance is. This is repentance here. And if you don't have a complete graph of what biblical repentance requires, then I would encourage you to write those down and consider those things and work through that in your process of your correction of your children, because that's repentance. And that's the actively rebuilding trust as a part of that. And we really should teach and train our children to do just that. So that's biblical repentance. Let me say regarding forgiveness, Most of you probably remember this. There was a situation that happened a number of years ago at a church in Charleston, where this white teenage young man, Dylan Roof, he went into this African-American church, primarily African-American church in Charleston, and he was there worshiping with them for a period of time, and then he brandished a gun and he killed a bunch of people. He just murdered a bunch of people. Do you remember that story? In fact, I'm not sure how many years ago it was again now. But I'm not sure if you saw a number of months later, they had sentenced him. He's still on death row, I believe. They had sentenced him, and the families of those who had been murdered were given an opportunity to address Dylann Roof. That was the most amazing thing I have ever observed. I watched it on television. And they were just in tears expressing that they had forgiven him of what he had done. And it was, how many of you saw that? Did you see that? Wasn't it an amazing thing to watch that? That's forgiveness. And now the reconciliation that Dylan had, he showed no remorse for what he did. There's no reconciliation took place there at all. There's certainly no complete restoration. He's still going to be, I suppose, executed at some point, but there was forgiveness given. And it was a wonderful example of what true biblical forgiveness looks like. Turn to Luke. you have your Bibles. Luke chapter 15, Pastor Sweatt two weeks ago he spent a lot of time in Luke chapter 15 with a prodigal son. Pastor Todd preached on it back on Father's Day I believe and he referenced it in his sermon. And after Pastor Sweatt spoke two weeks ago and I knew that I would be sharing this I said, now Pastor Sweatt what did you do that for? And so he laughed about it with me for just a few minutes, and then I told him what I had in mind, and he understands this topic very well, and understands the application in this passage to this topic. So after we laughed about it for a few minutes, he thought I really should still, there are a number of passages we could use, biblical models we could use. But after talking to Pastor Todd and Pastor Swett, they both agreed that I should use this particular biblical model, so that's what we're gonna do today. Let's look at the biblical models for forgiveness. I'll throw that up there, Christie, if you would. Here are the biblical models of forgiveness. Just throw them all up there. Yeah, there's Joseph and his brothers. There's the prodigal son, which we'll look at today. There's Paul with his tormentors. There's David and Saul. There are a number of others there. The David and Saul one in 1 Samuel is the one I was referencing earlier. But I'd encourage you to look back through that and ask these questions, if you put those questions up, Christine, ask these questions. And as I read through this passage, I want you to look for biblical repentance, forgiveness in the passage, look for the reconciliation in the passage, and look for complete and total restoration in the passage. That's what we're looking for, these three sorts of things that are here. So, look for this, in which verse do you see the first evidence of the Father's forgiveness? That's the first thing you look for. The second question is in which verse do you see evidence of biblical repentance? The third question is, is the Father aware of the biblical repentance at that point? If not, in which verse does the Father become aware of His Son's biblical repentance? Next question. In which verse do you see reconciliation between the Father and the Son? Does this reconciliation take place after the evident forgiveness? Does the reconciliation take place after the evident biblical repentance? there. And is there ever complete and total restoration? Okay, so look for those questions. Raise your hand or get my attention as I read through this because I'm kind of getting close on time here. So, get my attention when we look through the passage here and you tell me when you see the first evidence of one of those things, either biblical repentance or forgiveness, reconciliation, or anything like that. All right, begin reading in verse 11. And he said, a certain man had two sons and the younger of them said to his father, father, forgive me, give me the portion of goods that fall off to me. And he divided it under them, his living. inheritance. And not many days after the younger son gathered all together and took his journey into a far country, and there wasted his substance with riotous living. And when he had spent all, there arose a mighty famine in the land, and he began to be in want. And he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country, and he sent him into the fields to feed swine. And he would fain have filled his belly with the husk that the swine did eat, and no man gave unto him. Watch for these four, these five things now, the four things now. And when He had come to, when He had came to Himself, He said, how many hired servants of my Father have bread enough to spare, and I perish with hunger. Now is that biblical repentance? Okay, I saw no hands raised, so I guess that we're all in agreement, that's, you're right, that's not biblical repentance. Verse 18, I will arise and go to my Father. Is that repentance? No? And I will say unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven and before thee, and am no more worthy to be called thy son. Make me as one as I hired servants. Is that repentance? Yes, it is. Yes, it is. Now, where is this son at this point? He's probably in the pig pen someplace. Yeah, he's not with his father. Does the father know at this point of his son's Attitude about repentance. Does the father know this yet? No, not yet, does he? So there's repentance here. Verse 20, and he arose and came to his father, but when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him. That's forgiveness. That's forgiveness. Now, did he forgive him when he saw his son walking? Is there any evidence in that verse that he had forgiven him before that point? Yes or no? Where's the evidence, John? He was looking for him to return. Yeah, when he was yet, let me see, where is it? When he was yet a great way off, his father saw him. His father had forgiven him many, many years ago or months ago, however long this took. He had forgiven him. The forgiveness had taken place. He was forgiven. He had not been reconciled yet. He was yearning for the reconciliation. He wanted the reconciliation to take place, but he forgave him. That should be our attitude, that we should be willing to forgive. Let's continue reading here. Verse 21, and the son said unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven and in thy sight, and am no more worthy to be called thy son. Is the father now aware of the repentance? Yes, he is. By the way, there's something else that he said in verse 19 that he did not get a chance to complete in verse 21. I would suggest that maybe the father just, he was all over it. him and was excited to have him there. And he really didn't need me to go towards this, make me as one of thy hired servants. He saw that that wasn't going to be necessary to even say that. His father had forgiven him and was really excited to reconcile with his dear son. Verse 22, But the father said to his servants, Bring forth the best robe, which him, put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet, and bring hither the fatted calf, and kill it, and let us eat, and be merry. For thus my son was dead, and is alive again. He was lost, and is found, and they began to be merry." You can see the grand forgiveness and reconciliation celebration that took place there. What a wonderful story this is. I don't know if you've ever gone to a place in Pennsylvania and Branson called Sikon Sound. If you've ever been to the Sight and Sound Theater there, they put on just biblical stories in a play format. And Christie, my wife's favorite is this story. We've seen a number of those plays through the years. We lived out in Pennsylvania for eight years and saw a lot of them. But this is her favorite. By the way, my favorite's Jesus, just for the record. Just saying, sweetie. They did put a play on it called Jesus. It's a fascinating play. And if you have an opportunity to be either in Lancaster or in Branson, I'd encourage you to go and watch. The Foster's just were there. Which one did you see? Noah. They saw Noah. And did you enjoy it? It's a phenomenal, the Lord will get a hold of your heart there even as you watch all that drama take place here. But this is a wonderful story of forgiveness and of reconciliation. Now here's the question. Was there complete and total restoration? Did it get back to where it was? Yes or no? What verse? Show me a verse. What verse? I see a lot of people saying no. Well, show me a verse. Verse 31. And he said unto him, Son, thou art ever with me. He's talking to the older son here. Thou art ever with me and what? All that I have is thine. to the older son, which means that the younger son does not get all that he lost and squandered. So they didn't have the complete and total restoration. That was impossible because of the consequences of what took place there. Did that stop the father from forgiving his son? No. Did it stop the father from reconciling with his son after there was repentance there? No, it did not. Let me just say this to you. Christine, go back to Ephesians four. If you go to the screen there, Ephesians four. Or turn your Bible if you want to that, Ephesians four, verse 32. Let's close with this. My challenge to you tonight is to allow this verse to govern our families this week. and next week, and the next week. Now there may be some of you who are really burdened down with an offense against you, or you know of someone who's burdened down with an offense against them. It may be that it will take someone walking alongside you for a while. to help walk you through what forgiveness looks like and help to walk through life for a little while, while you're capturing an understanding of biblical forgiveness and reconciliation and trying to work on your heart a bit. And that's where biblical counseling comes into play, to help you. Christian, I would love to sit down with you or someone else, Pastor Todd, I'm sure would, and others on the pastoral staff. We're all here to help you. Or if you have family members, we'd love to have them come and be of help to them. But may this govern our lives this week. Be kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving, forgiving one another, even as God, for Christ's sake, hath forgiven you. That's the standard we really should meet. God, for Christ's sake, has forgiven us. That's how God forgave us. You know how he forgave us. That's the same measure that we should forgive those that offend us in whatever way it may be. There are two books I'd recommend to you. Christine, throw those up there. One is called Choosing Forgiveness by Nancy Lee DeMoss. It's a tremendous book. It's completely biblical. Trusting God by Jerry Bridges is the other one. Trusting God doesn't really deal particularly with forgiveness. But it really deals with a lot of issues that you or someone else may be facing. And to be able to gain the confidence that we have a God that's sovereign, that we can rest in, we can trust, and he will help us through whatever it may be. God allows things. There's not a thing that has happened unto you or happened unto your family members or your friends that has not been approved by a loving God. I know it's hard to get our mind wrapped around that sometimes with some of the things that take place, but that's the truth. And trusting God will be a wonderful book to help you with that. The other choosing forgiveness is the best book I have read on taking a biblical stance on exactly what forgiveness is and what it isn't. So there are some, there are many that I've talked to that really believe that in order to forgive, I've got to, you know, I've got to do things. I just don't, I can't, I'm having a hard time doing right now. comes from my heart. And that's that rebuilding process. That's that regaining trust process. That's that reconciliation process. That's the biblical repentance that is a necessary process. All the things we've talked about tonight. So I know we've had a big picture, a lot thrown at you tonight, but if you'd like to sit down anytime and talk about any of these things in further detail, I'd love to do that. But I hope that you will, that Berean Baptist Church will be known as a forgiving church, not holding things against one another, that each of our families will be known and seen as that as well. Let's go to the Lord in prayer. Our Heavenly Father, we love you. We're so thankful that we know we love you because you first loved us. Lord, you know you tell us in your words you forgive, that it affects our prayer life, affects our relationship with you, but so often we tend to hang on to things that others have done unto us. Lord, I pray that you might help us to understand your teaching on this topic and help us in our relationships at home to forgive one another, whether they are sins against us or even dislikes, that we are to dismiss them and really to love them, expressing love. Yes, maybe working through things together, but not holding onto the grudges and the bitterness that so often dominates our lives. So be with us. May we be a church of forgivers, dear Father. For it's in Jesus' name we pray, amen.