Read the first two verses. We'll see how far we get. Even in these two verses, there's much to consider. There'll also be much background information that we will have to consider before we get into the text proper today. So we will take this next portion of God's Word rather slowly. There will be several sermons that will be preached on the nature of marriage here. For we live in a day and age in which these truths, which are precious to God's people or ought to be, are despised. And so let us open the word of God with care. 1 Peter 3, verses 1 and 2. Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands, that if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives, while they behold your chaste conversation. coupled with fear. Amen. May the Lord bless the reading and especially preaching of his holy word. Now, God's words here, wives, be subject to your own husband, are incredibly scandalous today. In fact, it's hard to imagine things that would more shock people in society as life. In fact, offend them. more than words like these. Wives, be subject to your own husbands. It seems contrary to the day and age we live in. And yet, this is the very Word of God. This is God's own Word. And this is God's will for wives in a marriage. Be subject to your own husband. This is not cultural, this is not for a different era, but it is for all ages. No matter how contrary these words are to the spirit of the age, our religion calls for us to embrace them. and not just reluctantly even receive them, but with a whole heart embrace them. This is part of true religion. And we have to remember that whatever the commandment of God is, it is for our good and it is not for our ill. It is for our help. It is for our benefit. It is for our blessing to keep the commandments of God because the man or woman who keeps the commandments of God are blessed. And here is one of those commandments. So a woman is called to submit to her own husband. She is to obey him. We'll consider these verses later on, but you consider verse 6. Even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord. That's the heart of submission of a wife to her husband. And that was widely understood as the dynamics of the marriage relationship until actually quite recently, especially in the church. In fact, here is the wedding vow Presbyterian women have traditionally taken. I do take thee to be my married husband, and I do in the presence of God and before this congregation promise and covenant to be a loving, faithful, and here are the words that get omitted these days, and obedient wife unto thee, until God shall separate us by death. It was even simplified, right? And to obey, love and obey. You will find even in recent media, you know, within the last century, this vow being taken. Yet, it is not taken so often, is it, anymore? And yet, is it contrary to the Word of God, or does it reflect the Word of God? When it says, the Word does, women, be subject to your own husband. In fact, the words, obedient wife, are a bit scandalous. If a woman were to tell others, I seek to be an obedient wife to my husband, they will look at you like you're being abused. You need to get out of the relationship post haste. That is unhealthy, they will say to you. But that's what God commends. That's what God commends, isn't it? The sort of sweet, meek spirit seeking to be obedient to your own husband? And so in a time in which such things are scandalous, we need to take our time to understand it. We need to take our time spiritually before the Lord to embrace it and to see that this is good and that this must be embraced in our homes, passed on to our children and our daughters and our boys as the will of God in these relationships. So let's consider that principle. of the wife submitting to their own husbands under three heads this morning. And the first will be the order in marriage, the order in marriage. Now, as I had mentioned, firstly, our approach will be slow. There will be quite a few sermons on the relationship between husbands and wives in a marriage. And in this heading, what we want to do is begin back in the creation. And the relationship between man and woman, found before sin entered the world. To see that what Peter is speaking up here is not a principle that comes after the fall, but is rooted in the very creation of marriage. That the woman is to obey her husband. But we also need to see that love and companionship intended by God in the honorably state of marriage. To understand that though there are today griefs that come in the marriage relationship, and sometimes obedience can be very hard because of that, we have to recognize that those things have come by way of sin and not by way of design. God's design is good. Sin has made everything terrible. So, with that, 1 Peter 3.1, Likewise ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands, that if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives. Now, the word likewise opens our text. And if you were here last Lord's Day, you remember what preceded chapter 3, where Peter spoke of the need to suffer, if need be, for conscience sake. Because superiors, like the civil magistrate, may cause you suffering to do what is right in God's own eyes. Sometimes our obedience will come with a measure of grief, in other words. And when we do suffer, the Lord said, we are not to revile when we are reviled, you remember that is our conduct, but we are to commit ourselves to God. And so that whole section there, comes here to inform the women. Likewise, you wives are to be in subjection to your own husbands. Though it may be a matter of grief, and we're going to see the particular grief here is to a woman who is married to an unbeliever, particularly. Peter is going to address both husbands and wives, but he begins with the wives because the likewise continues that discourse on how we are called to be in submission to those who are superiors. We ourselves have seen that sometimes Caesar will cause us grief. And yet we are still to honor him. We're not to revile him. And so it is in a marriage as well. If the husband causes a measure of grief. So in an age, then, when biblical notions of marriage seem quaint, old-fashioned, or even dangerous, let's return to Genesis to consider God's design for marriage, and remember that the state of marriage is a bond of love between husband and wife. In Genesis 1, 27, we see that God created man in his own image. In the image of God, created he him. Male and female, created he them. And we see there that there are two sexes, only two. And he makes both man and woman in God's image, male and female, both made in the image of God, not just man. but both male and female made in the image of God. Male and female created He them. Then we come to Genesis 2, which we had as our Old Testament reading, and we read how God created man and woman, or male and female. You may want to turn back to Genesis 2 as we'll look at some of the key points here, which would be quite helpful for our meditation. In Genesis 2, verse 7, you find that Adam was created out of the dust, and then God breathes his spirit into Adam, and we read that man became a living soul. This is something that I trust you know, but this is how God created Adam, the first man. But then we ask, here is the creation of man, here is the male. Why was the woman created? It's a simple question, but we have to know the answer, ought we not? What is the intention? Why was Eve made? And we considered a bit of this in the book of Ecclesiastes, when we considered that two are better than one. And the answer to the question helps us understand marriage's primary purpose, which is foundational to an understanding of our roles in marriage as men and women. In verse 18 of Genesis 2, and the Lord God said, it is not good that the man should be alone. I will make him and help meet, that word means suited, for him. I will make and help meet, or suited, for him. Now, this is the first and greatest reason for the creation of the woman and the creation of marriage. It is not procreation. It is companionship and mutual help. It is companionship and mutual help, which is why you have a true marriage if you're infertile. And this is why your marriage still has meaning if you're past childbearing age. And it's why your marriage continues until death. There is a meaning that transcends the creation or the offspring or the production of offspring. Marriage is not merely for that, though it includes that as one of the purposes. Here we find that Adam needed a companion because it was not good that he should be alone and one who would be his mutual help. So if we think of it this way, outside of God, in all the creation, Eve was to be Adam's closest companion and helper. His closest companion outside of God. A companion who would help him in mutual love that was uniquely suited to him. A true complement to him, unlike anything in the world. Now she is a help that is meet or suited, not just suited, not just a help, but a lifelong companion. Though these two are meant and intended to be one, one flesh, laboring together, together with one heart, one soul, one spirit, as it were. And God demonstrated to Adam that nothing will satisfy him like this woman. In fact, he comes and he brings the world to Adam. He says, survey all the world, you have none like her. There's nothing like her in all creation. Not just, well, let me come back, maybe I'll address the children. Children, do you remember how God in this text brings all the animals to Adam to name them? Sometimes we think of this text in that way. Oh, here's the text where Adam is given all the animals and to name them. But I wonder if you understand the flow here. In verse 18, God says and purposes, I will make a help meet for him. because there is no one else suited to him. And then in the 19th verse, God brings the animals unto Adam to see what he would call them. And in the 20th verse, after Adam surveyed all the animals, but for Adam there was not found in help meet for him. Do you see this? God, as it were, brings the world to Adam. And he says, and he shows the man so that the man himself would recognize it. Not just that God would say it, but he would look upon children, the giraffes and the monkeys and the canines and the dinosaurs even. And he would say, none here are suited to be my companion. None here are suited to me. None here is like me. Though they be magnificent, they be incredible, the power in Leviathan, and so on, yet none are suited. I would be all alone if it were just me and the animals." You have to understand that sense here. It was not good for the man to be alone. And we see the graciousness, isn't it, of God to provide a woman, one who is like Him. And so you find that the companionship of husband and wife is better than anything in the creation. It is, it surpasses anything else in the created order. And on that, just a quick point of application. Don't substitute the things of the creation, animals even, God forbid, or work or anything else for the marriage relationship. That is greater. that is greater, that is closer. There's nothing in all the creation that is meant to be closer. And in Malachi 2.14, God would reiterate the primary purpose of marriage. Yet she is thy companion and the wife of thy covenant. And she's meant to be close to the man. So after Adam considered all the animals, God created the woman Eve, verses 21 to 23, And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept, and he took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh instead thereof. And the rib which the Lord God had taken from man made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man. So you see here that the woman was taken out of his side from his own substance, not a separate creation from the man. I'll pause there for a moment. See where the woman is taken from his side. It's taken from him. Out of his side, and as many Puritans had said something like this so beautifully, the woman was made out of a rib out of the side of Adam, not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be beloved. That is why she is taken from his side. And you see the joy that Adam has in seeing her. And she comes because the Lord brings her to Adam to be wed. And here we have the very first wedding. She came to him, just as you find, you know, sometimes we wonder where our traditions come from. Well, why does, why is it still the case in a wedding, right? The father of the bride brings her to the man. It's a reiteration of God bringing the first woman to the man to be wed. And there's a picture there, beautifully, of the Lord, God our Father, bringing the woman to the man here to be wed. And Adam's reaction, now you think about it in context, surveying all the creatures, even as magnificent as they are, and sometimes we look on them, we admire them, and we wonder at them, and the Lord's design in it. However, for Adam, when he sees Eve, his reaction is, this is now bone of my bones, flesh of my flesh. Finally, here is one that is like me. And the word now in Hebrew has the sense of at last. At last. At last, here is one. Here is the help suited for me that shares in my nature taken from my side. At last, here is bone of my bones, flesh of my flesh, for I have seen no creature outside of her can fully satisfy me. The Apostle Paul would say 4,000 years later, for no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the Church, Ephesians 5, 29. Now you see that sense here that Adam, right, seeing his wife, seeing that she is bone of his bones and flesh of his flesh, was called to nourish and cherish her, that she was meant to be his longing and his desire. You see, nothing in creation can satisfy him like her. We husbands, of course, ought to remember that and recognize that, that we ought to nourish and cherish our wives. And it is so easy to neglect them, but they are meant to be to us, right, the desire of our eyes. That's what God called the prophet Ezekiel's wife. desire of thine eyes, and he was going to take her away from him by death. But he calls her the desire of Ezekiel's eyes, as it should be for all of us men who are married. And of course, we see that all of this is a picture of the Lord Jesus Christ. We've heard that in the Song of Solomon. And what a thing it is then to see that the Lord Jesus Christ, as we see in Ephesians 5 and the Song of Solomon, finds his church to be the desire of his eyes. We are bone of his bones and flesh of his flesh. He took on a human nature so that that would be the case. And so we, right, whether we be married in this life or not, we have one who looks on us. If we are Christians with desire, we are the apple of his eyes. And does he not nourish us and cherish us? Have we not seen it on the cross? And have we not seen it in the washing of the water of the word as he cleanses us and purifies us, draws us in bands of love? But returning to Adam and Eve, there was something about Eve that must have been deeply attractive to Adam, more than her physical form. And sometimes maybe that's where our minds might go. But you think about it. Here is the first creature that he has encountered that is also made in the image of God. Here is one who is made in God's own image. And so Adam sees something of God's own character in her, something that he could not see in animals. Well, after the naming of the animals, Adam names her sex woman, saying she shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. Now, in the Hebrew language, the word used for man there is ish, whereas the word for woman there is ishah. It's the feminine form of man. It's the feminine form. Here is, in other words, a female man. Our race is the race of men, and the two sexes are male and female. So here is a female man. That is what Adam says. So even in the etymology of the words for man and woman, we find that they share the same root and the same nature, ish and isha, a female man. But you also recognize, as we start to look at the headship of the man, that God gave the duty to name the woman to Adam. He is responsible for naming her. And that's significant, and that is important, which shows that he is the leader in the relationship. He is the leader. He is her head. And it is his role to lead his wife. And so in the creation of man and woman, before sin enters the world, you find male headship in at least three ways. First, she is created from out of the man. He precedes her. He is her progenitor. He comes first. Second, in Adam, he has the duty to name her, and so we see that he is responsible for her. He is made responsible for his wife. In the naming of her, of course, then he is her head. Third, she is given to be his help. she is given to be his aid. He is therefore the leader, and she comes to be his help mate, who is suited to him. And so in all this, and we're taking quite a bit of time, I understand that, before even coming into 1 Peter, we need to understand that this relationship is part of the creation order. It's part of the creation order. It precedes the fall, and it precedes sin, and we have to say it is good, It is wholesome and it is right. And there is nothing deficient in this order that God has put in marriage. But rather, like the creation before the fall, all of it is good. And we have to say it is for the blessing of both the man and the woman. Not just the man, but also for the blessing of the woman. that if these roles were established in a home, rightly, it would be for the blessing of all. It's not something to begrudge. It's not something to reluctantly assent to. It must be embraced with a whole heart because it is for good and was made good by God. It is good and it is necessary for the home. It is ingrained in us. And so when you buck against it, you are actually bucking against, as it were, your DNA. It goes against the creation order, if you were to rebel against it. You're fighting against your own nature, which is why the outworkings of the rebellion of this, as it has unfolded in our society, has been nothing but death and destruction in many ways. It used to be disparagingly spoken of by society as a whole to say that a woman wore the pants in the family. Even women would say that, disparagingly. She wears the pants, meaning nothing about pants per se, but just that she has taken on the role of the man. That's unnatural. In all societies around the world, you're going to find male leadership in the home. That is because that is part of nature. It is not a cultural movement, but is ingrained all the way back here in Genesis as part of the way that God has ordained the family to go. male headship in marriage is even foundational to the theology of the New Testament. Paul takes up the creation to teach on male headship in the church in 1st Timothy 2, 11-13. Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection, but I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. And what's the reason? For Adam was first formed, then Eve. So, you see, even the first The fact that he was created first, as we have said, establishes his headship over the woman. And Paul reiterates that. And you see how this headship is in no way cultural, it is no way societal, but it is moral. It harkens back to the creation itself. And that's why the female head covering here, as the ladies head cover, are a reminder of that creation truth. For a man indeed ought not to cover his head for as much as he is the image and glory of God, but the woman is the glory of the man. For the man is not of the woman, but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman, but the woman for the man. where this cause ought the woman to have power or a symbol of authority on her head because of the angels. So even the head covering is a testimony before the angels that woman was created of man, and that man is the head of the woman. So let us remember the creation order when we talk about the Christian home, and that grace does not destroy the order of nature. Grace does not destroy the order of nature. And that's going to effectively be Peter's argument here. Just because you ladies, right? If you're married to an unbeliever, you are in the state of grace and he is not, it does not overturn the natural order. That you are still called to love and obey your husband because he is your husband. Grace reaffirms and remedies what came in Genesis 3 after the fall, when the male and female relationship became contentious, where man is tempted to be harsh towards his wife and the woman is tempted to take on the man's position and role in the marriage. Well, with that by way of review, let's consider our second head which is submission to the husband. Verse 1, again, likewise ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands, that if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives. So here, again, wives are to submit to their own husband. And as you've heard, that is true whether or not he is a Christian. Whether or not he is a Christian, a wife is to submit to the head of her family, which is her husband. And so this is not just a teaching for Christian homes, but for all men. In fact, this is what ought to be taught even by natural man, is that a wife is to obey her husband, and the husband is to be the head of the home, because that hearkens to creation and not grace. This is the order. Just as we say and we teach all men that they are to work and provide for both themselves and their wives and their children, because that is part of the natural order of things. Just like we say that all kinds of men and women are to marry. Just like we teach that all men are to observe the Sabbath day. We say that these creation orders, the design of them, they are for all men. No one is exempt from them. Well, here Peter brings forth a problem in marriage, which is a spiritual woman is married to an unspiritual man. You have on the one hand a spiritual God-fearing woman, and on the other hand, you have an unspiritual man who fears not God. And this is a man, Peter says, who obeys not the word, who obeys not the word. Now, Peter likely uses the words, obey not the word, obeys not the word, as synonymous for a man who is unbelieving. But perhaps those words are also chosen because it makes this text broader than that. Because there are many husbands who profess to be Christians, but don't obey the word of God. but it is certainly aimed in the direction of the unbelieving husband. And so this has application even to wives married to men that profess to be believers but might be nominal, they may be hypocritical, they may be backsliders. But it applies to all. women in that way. The question that arises from godly women then would be, because my husband is disobedient to the word, do I really need to submit to him? Do I really need to submit to him? And boys and girls, what's the answer that God gives? The answer is yes. Yes. Doesn't matter if he's an unbeliever. Doesn't matter if he obeys not the word, because again, grace does not upend the natural order. And there are only two provisions for a divorce as well, which we'll look at another day. One is adultery, and the other is willful desertion by an unbeliever that cannot be remedied by church or state. Those are the two reasons for divorce. The bond of marriage, though, is not broken if one is unbelieving and one is believing. And that is how strong the bond of marriage is. After all, you hear you are made one flesh. And so the Lord who gave faith to one and not, at least for the time being, given it to the other, because this is a hopeful text, which we'll see, says you are not to leave the marriage relationship. You're not to leave the marriage order, which is the husband is still the leader of the home. And the wife, though she be advanced in grace, is still to obey her husband. And as this is a hopeful text, which we'll get to a bit later, but also in the upcoming weeks, the Lord says, in your obedience, even to an unbelieving man, you don't know if you will be the instrument that I will use to bring your husband to saving faith. through your own obedience, through your godly conduct, and the grief that you suffer in your soul, still call to love and obey your husband. Yes, this is going to be very difficult for the woman. She will have to guard her heart, especially against bitterness and distress and discouragements, but it is the calling. just as we considered suffering under an ungodly civil magistrate, is often the calling of the church. Now, all wives ought to consider the gravity of the argument given by the apostle. You can think about this argument in another direction, then. If a woman is called to submit to an unbelieving man, an unbelieving husband, rather, her own, a believer is certainly not exempt from obeying her believing husband. You can take it as a lesser to greater argument, or a greater to lesser argument. This is the order. None who are wives are exempt from submitting to a husband, believer or not believer. Now where must this begin? It has to begin in the heart. for the woman is called to respect her husband, because he is her husband. Ephesians 5.33 will say, Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself, and the wife see that she reverence, that is, respect her husband. Now, the challenge for men in the Word of God, if you're going to come to, the men are not off the hook. The challenge for the men is to love their wife as Christ loves his church, sacrificially. That's the difficulty for the man. If the woman is a shrew and a harpy and all those other terms that people use, sinfully even, if she is not what she ought to be, it doesn't let you off the hook from loving her sacrificially. And on the other hand, the challenge for the ladies is to reverence and respect your husband as the church respects Christ. This is a high calling for both man and woman. Wives, this is difficult on your flesh because your flesh is going to give you a thousand and one reasons for why your husband ought not to be respected. And you have probably taken in the world's adage that respect is to be earned and not given. Find that in the Bible. Honor is due to them that it is due to. You heard that about Caesar. We are not at liberty, regardless of the party of the president, to dishonor him. And we are not at liberty to dishonor our parents. We're not at liberty to dishonor husbands. It is not earned, it is given. So you have to ask, how many times have we taken the world's adages as our own? In the Bible, the fifth commandment says we have an obligation to our superiors, whether it be president, parents, elders, or husbands. We can disagree with them, but we cannot disrespect them. And that begins in the heart. You have to, at the very first motion of disrespect and dishonor, you are to subdue that before it comes outwardly. So wives, this is a matter of the heart to respect your husband, even if he is an unbeliever, to cover his faults with love, to not excuse them away, we'll come to that later, but still respect him for he is a God-given authority in your life. And that is the obligation of the woman who is joined to this man as her head. Now, let's flesh out this biblical notion of obedience and submission a bit more. Now, the first thing to remember, wives, is that though you are submissive to him, that does not make you a silent partner, as it were, and to be ignored. The Lord has given you as a help suited to him. And all this talk about obedience, you are still his closest counselor. You are still to give your input about the way the family ought to go, the things that are right and the things that are wrong. And it is the calling of the woman to be a help and a partner to the man in life. There are many godly examples of this in the Bible, of women giving counsel to their husbands, even kings. You remember Esther told her husband, the king, about the evil he overlooked in Haman. The adversary and enemy is this wicked Haman, Esther told her husband. Esther 7 verse 6. It is also right for a woman to correct her husband, though with respect and care. honoring him. In the Book of Judges, Manoah's wife points out a spiritual truth he did not understand. And Manoah said unto his wife, We shall surely die, because we have seen God. But his wife said unto him, If the Lord were pleased to kill us, he would not have received a burnt offering and a meat offering at our hands, neither would he have showed us all these things, nor would as at this time have told us such things as these. So a woman is to give spiritual counsel even to her husband when it is necessary, to give counsel and advice on the way that things ought to go. Oftentimes our wives have shown us things that we have missed ourselves. And it is the calling of the man to be open and receptive to such things, to take that counsel from the word of God from her. And the woman is to feel at liberty to do it. and empowered to do it under God, but always with respect, with always with care, that she is not the head, but she is to look to him as the leader, because she is his companion and helpmate for life. But when man and woman disagree, the tiebreaker is the man, and she will submit to the decision that is made. So with all of that said, let's consider four clarifications on submission. The first is that the text says the woman obeys or submits to her own husband. Bible's very clear on that. She doesn't submit to all men indiscriminately, all other husbands. She submits to one which is her own. In that, ladies, you're not called to submit to another wife's husband, but only to your own. not to men even generally, but to one man particularly. Second, a wife cannot submit to what conscience informed by the word says is sinful. This is the same thing that we considered in the prior passage when it comes to our own obedience to Caesar. A husband might say, your husband wants you to convert to a false religion, woman. Are you to do it? No. You say, I would rather follow God rather than man. It doesn't matter that you're my husband. You have no control over the conscience. My conscience is captive to the word of God. A husband wants to make her part of his criminal syndicate. She can't go with it. There are limits to obedience. These are things, these are even natural man understands these kinds of things. All authority is subordinate to God, and God alone is Lord of the conscience. Disobedience is not a blank check, in other words, to disobey God. No man has that power. Third, and this is important especially in our day and age, a wife is not called to submit to things like physical abuse. There are six commandment issues that are under the jurisdiction of the civil magistrate. All the citizens are under the protection of the sword from physical kinds of abuse. And so the magistrate is to be called by you wives if your husband is physically harming you. That is his duty. The magistrate is to protect you. And so there is no calling for a man to beat his woman or to physically threaten her. You remember when we considered submission to civil authorities, we should always seek the remedy that is available to when we suffer. When it was the case that Paul found that he needed to appeal to Caesar, to Caesar he appealed. And so it is the case as well in the home. If there is physical violence, you pick up the phone and you call the police. Fourth, in matters of spiritual kinds of abuse, right, a wife is to bring that offense to her husband, just as she would to any kind of Christian brother. And if he does not repent, you have to be open to the fact that not everything that is called abuse is actually abusive. But secondly, you need to follow the Matthew 18 process. even taking it to your elders, if need be. Because that's ultimately going to be the remedy, if you feel like this man is causing you to do things that are not in accord with the word of God. And so on that, ladies, it is vital to have church membership. In matters that are spiritual, you bring to the church, and you have the elders of the church help ascertain what it is that is happening in the home, whether it is sinful or it is not sinful, what is happening. So those are four clarifications on submission that are necessary for our time in obedience to the husband. That helps us to put these things in perspective through the whole counsel of God. I will likely give more later as we continue on through this text, but it seems needful to say that much at this time. But there are further applications from this text that are necessary to draw out before we continue. And that concerns you women who are not yet married, and you girls who will be looking, God willing, someday to be married. You have heard that you are to submit to your own husband. You have heard that. That is the will of God for you. Now, Peter is undoubtedly writing in a context where women were being converted after marriage, when they themselves were unbelieving before the marriage, because this was the early church, after all, and the gospel was going out and dividing families spiritually. And he had to say, Christ dividing you spiritually does not divide you maritally. But for those of you already Christians, you're only to marry in the Lord. You're only to marry in the Lord. 2 Corinthians 6.14, be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers, for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? Now, beloved, sometimes, especially ladies, young ladies, or those looking to be married, and you find that your heart is being pulled in a certain direction, you can be very bitter towards God, because He has said that. But why does He give that commandment? For your protection. because you are called to submit to your husband, be they believing or unbelieving. And if you cannot submit, find yourself on the same page as it were when it comes to the principles of life, what a grief it's going to be when you are married, when the honeymoon phase is over, the giddiness is over, and all of the butterflies are gone. And now it sets in. I have to live with one who does not love the Lord. And I have to live with one who does not even understand the ways of God. And now there are children in my life. And he doesn't want to raise them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. And here I am in an island, as it were, trying to give Christ to my children. And he is a stumbling block in all of this. And I say, this is what the Lord's desire is. And he says, I don't want to go to church. I don't want you hanging out with these people. And now what's your life? Never, never find yourself bitter at the commandments of God. He is doing these things. He is saying these things to protect you. Because look at the grief in our text. A woman who has to submit to a man who obeys not the word, that ought to be a grief to even consider. It ought to be a sorrow to us. The Lord would have you make faith and love for Him, the centerpiece of the home, and if you are a Christian woman, that will be your desire, but you're going to be wed to one who says, I want nothing of that. I don't want anything to do with it. And don't be surprised, men will say all kinds of things in order to be married to you, that they have no intention of keeping, especially an unbeliever. So be wise in your youth, ladies. And you're gonna have, end up with a man who'll be no pattern at all for your children. What a grief that will be, especially if the Lord gives you sons. To now not have a pattern of godliness, but you pray that perhaps this one will be like Timothy and have an example in his mother and grandmother. These are terrible things, if you would just project yourself forward, past the honeymoon, to consider. You, then having to do as well the spiritual heavy lifting in the home, which is not ordinarily the woman's calling, be equally yoked in the Lord. And as we thought about what Peter said, that these are men who obey not the word, that also means you are not to be wed to a nominal Christian either. It doesn't matter if he professes faith, but he is nominal in his religion. Because you will even find some men, as I've intimated, will convert to Christianity to simply put a ring on your finger. Yet they will not obey the word. even if they seem to profess faith for a time, because they don't possess the root of the matter. We have to be wise to such things. Oh, how quickly our flesh removes such considerations or excuses them when we want something the Lord does not want for us. A conversion for the sake of marriage is a dangerous, dangerous thing. Now we praise God if it is real, but it is not going to be something that can be judged in the space of a few weeks or months or perhaps even years. Are they following the Lord for the Lord's sake or just to marry you? That also goes for men who are not spiritual but may be professing to be Christians for a long time. Are they men who obey the word? And no man does so perfectly. But consider, does this man, is he a man who obeys especially the first things of religion? Is he a man of faith? Is he a man of repentance? Is he a man who will do what the Word of God says, though it is hard on his flesh? Is he a spiritual man? There is a difference between a spiritual man and a man that is a formalist or nominal in his Christianity. I hope you can pick up on that well enough. You never want to marry a formalist. You never want to marry a hypocrite. You never want a man who is nominal in the faith. You want a man who says his first love is not you, but Christ. And he means it. And he means it. Because if his first love is you, there is a real problem. That's not a real Christian, right? A real Christian loves Christ and then loves his wife in Christ. But if he has no love for Christ, he cannot really love you the way you ought to be loved. Don't be flattered if he says that you are his first love. Actually run away. Christ has to be his first love, then he will love you the right way. You want a man who puts first the kingdom of God and his righteousness. then all the difficulties that will come in your marriage, and ask any married couple here, there are many that will come. But if he puts Christ first, then they will all be dealt with. They will all be dealt with if he submits to the word of God. You want a man who will say, this word is the rule of my life. And what this word says, I will do. And what that word does not say to do, I will not do. And that's why it is important for Peter, and really the Holy Ghost, that the difficulty in your marriage will be to marry a man that obeys not the word. Well, if the wife is married to one who obeys not the word, how is she to obey? Well, it's the same sense as it was for all of us in the prior sermon, which is to commit ourselves to God, to not revile when we are reviled. And so let's briefly touch on that in our final heading, time having long gone, which is the woman's conduct, the woman's conduct. Well, we have spent a lot of time on the doctrine of the woman's place in the marriage as the one who follows her husband. But the text thrust concerns the question of what is a woman to do when her husband is disobedient to God's word? Well, she is still to submit to him, not leave him, and behave in a godly manner. Now that's the launching off point for our next sermon, but let me treat it briefly today. The remainder of verses one and two say that they also may without the word be won by the conversation that is conduct of the wives while they behold your chaste conversation or conduct coupled with fear. And the sense of these verses is it is your godly conduct that is your hope in winning your husband. It is your godly conduct. This is a hopeful text. If any of you are in a marriage to a man who does not obey the word, there is hope here, isn't there? This is a very hopeful text. It's not merely a text about, okay, your lot in life will be forever to have to obey a man who hates God. It might be. But he says there is hope here. if your conduct is a certain way. That your husband, and don't lose this hope, wives, may be one to the Lord. He may be one to the Lord. She is to be submissive and behave in a godly manner, that he may be one to the Lord. That they may take note of your chaste conduct, a chaste conduct that arises, and you have to understand the fear here, from the fear of God, from your fear of God, not your fear of your husband. but because you are a God-fearing woman. And the Lord is in the habit of blessing such women, that they may be won to Christ by the reverence you have for your God, that you are not going to compromise your Christian faith, that you are going to live by grace, you're going to be filled with the fruit of the Spirit, even to a man who, in your estimation, perhaps does not deserve it. that you will love him, that you will seek to obey him from the fear of God, to not fall into those temptations that are common to us, bitterness, disrespect, but even showering him in love, that he might be convicted of his own conduct, and that he would see that the faith is real, that Christianity is about creating new creatures, who behave in ways unlike that of the world, and that the Lord might use your own behavior towards him and his poor behavior, perhaps, towards you, to convict him of his need to repent. That he has been given a good thing that he does not deserve, which is a God-fearing wife. and that through your testimony, through your conduct, and yes, through the word of God that you will bring to bear to his remembrance, he may be one to the Lord. The Lord might use your example. Of course, this intimates that you must pray for your husband, plead before the throne of grace, don't give up on him, that he would be what he ought to be, bitterness often will crowd such prayers out of your soul. But to whom shall you go, if your marriage is not what it ought to be? But the Lord who hears, and the Lord who blesses such who would fear him. But in your praying, pray this text to your Lord, that he would help you win your husband by your own conduct, and that your conduct would be filled with the savor of Christ. In situations like this, perhaps what a woman needs to do is really imbibe the Sermon on the Mount, and to look upon how it is that one must react to difficulties, even to those who treat them poorly. and exercise their faith in their difficulty. That is basic Christianity in terms of conduct. It is unlike the world. We're gonna hear more of it later on, this meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. These women who trusted in God could develop the graces in their soul to be good and godly women. That's the calling. And on the other hand, Perhaps this is so basic it doesn't need to be said, but it needs to be remembered. No husband has ever been won by a woman's shrewish and shrill behavior. There has never been a man in the world that has been won over that way, but it is the way of God that will win a man. No husband is won by you being ill-tempered and unloving. Ask if you would ever be won over by such behavior yourself. And the answer is no, of course. As I said, you catch more flies with honey than vinegar, but you are called at the end of the day to commit yourself to the Lord in your soul's difficulties and live as one who is called to love even your enemies, much less the one you have been made one flesh with. And remember the prior text in Christ's example, who when he was reviled, reviled not again, and when he suffered, threatened not, but committed himself to him that judges righteously. Now the Christian life, when difficulty comes and even injustice is committed against us, we are to commit ourselves to him that judges righteously. And in that, we don't revile in turn. When the man snaps at us, we don't snap at them, right? But instead, we are called to revile not again. And we commit ourselves to the Lord who knows, and the Lord who judges, and the Lord who defends and has a care for subordinates. If you read the Bible, the Lord has such a care for the inferior in the relationship. Even the widows and orphans, right? The Lord says He hears their cries. And there's nothing more needful for a woman in a difficult relationship to do but give herself to the Lord and commit herself to Him, to the Lord of vengeance. Your husband may have ceased listening to you, but your heavenly husband never will. You have to remember that. And you have need to remember your heavenly husband in a difficult marriage. And maybe you need to turn to the song of Solomon again and again and again. You have seen the key that unlocks it, which is the love of Christ for his bride. And he cherishes you and he cares for you. He listens to you. He only does you good. And he promises even this difficulty in your marriage, I will use together with all things for your good. And you have to believe that. But to you husbands who obey not the word, there is a necessary word for you, though this text has demanded that I address the wives. You remember, on the other hand, that the Lord is your judge, that the Lord is your judge, and the Lord is watching, and the Lord sees, and the Lord knows. And he will judge you for your unbelief. He will judge you for your refusal to submit to his word. And added to that, he will judge you for any unnecessary grief that you gave any of his daughters that you are wed to, because he cares for them. And the Lord Jesus gave his life for them. And what an awful thing it would be to go before the throne of judgment and to have gone there having treated one of his daughters poorly. She commits herself to the judge of all the earth. and he will call you to account." That's for all husbands to remember when we consider how it is that he will take up the cause of the weaker vessel. And even here in this text, have you not heard that your prayers would be hindered if you don't treat the heirs of life, of the grace of life, in the manner in which they ought to be treated? And if that is the case to his believing people, he would say that, what about you unbeliever? If you're unbelieving, may that fill you with fear. May you turn to the Lord in repentance and be forgiven of your unbelief. And then go and repent to your wife as well that you have treated poorly, that the Lord may have mercy on your soul. May the Lord then bring healing to your marriage. Well, we'll have to return to this and the wife's chaste conduct next time, how she is to develop the inner man, not the outer. But may the Lord bring this word to us when we have need of it, and may we meditate on it and the nature of our home. May we arise and go to the Lord in prayer. Gracious God, Thou are truly gracious to us to ordain the institution of marriage, for it is not good for man to be alone. But we pray, O Lord, for any wives who are suffering. We pray that Thou might help them and that they may be given a holy resolve to live for the Lord and to love their husband through Christ, even if he doesn't deserve it. And we pray as well for any unbelieving husbands here, that they would repent and turn to the Lord. We pray for any unbelieving or professing husbands rather, who obey not the word. May they obey the word of God and deal kindly with the heirs of life that are in their home. We pray that if there be any backslidden here, that they would run to the Lord for forgiveness. We pray as well, O God, for the children, that the boys would be made spiritual men worthy of marrying daughters of the king. And we pray for the young girls, that they would not compromise as they seek to be wed. that they would only marry in the Lord and those men who obey the word. And of course, we pray that for the boys as well, that they would only marry in the Lord and that they would seek godly spouses themselves. Oh Lord, may all of our children grow up to be equally yoked. that they would all raise their children, our children's children, that is, in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, and that we would see that God's design is good, and we would bless the Lord for it. We pray in Jesus' name. Amen.