So when it comes to marriage, specifically now friendships, of course, you have a choice in who your friend, you don't have to be. We talked about this friendship. You don't have to be best friends with everyone and you won't be because. just a best friend in its nature means you don't have many of them. That's what makes it so special, makes it so close. So you don't have to be best friends with everyone but you do get to choose who your friendships are. So now we come to this marriage relationship and of course this is a relationship that you have a choice and this choice is It completely comes down to your responsibility, not that you shouldn't get help. And we've talked about this and we'll talk about it as we go through the subject. You should seek counsel in every issue of your life, from your parents, from your pastor, from a grandma or grandpa, somebody that God's put in your life that loves the Lord and that could give you some direction. So that's true with this situation. Some of the biggest mistakes in marriage have been people who wouldn't listen to other people who tried to help them. And I mentioned a moment ago that this is something you need to think about before you get married, but this is also something that you need to think about before you fall in love. Because when you fall in love, everybody's heard the statement, love is blind. And that is so true. When you fall in love with somebody, it covers even, I know this is kind of out of context, but it was a book of Jude where he tells about love covers a multitude of sins. And I'm telling you, you can fall in love with somebody and it will cover a multitude of the problems they have. So, so there needs to be some things that you establish. not just before you get married, but before you fall in love. Here's some do's and don'ts. And of course, I believe they should come from biblical principles, but some do's and don'ts when it comes to marriage. So let me just start here. This is the best place I know to start. We're going to talk quite a bit in the next couple of weeks from the book of Genesis. Because in the book of Genesis, you see God's clear design, not just for marriage, but for a lot of things, but specifically for marriage. So we're going to we're going to be looking at the book of Genesis. And then tonight, as we do this introduction to this subject, I want to it's going to be topical, really topical. And we're going to turn to quite a few different passages. But really what's on my heart the best way I know to kind of start unpacking this issue is First of all to define what a biblical marriage is because there are so many different ideas and thoughts about what marriage means So I think it's important and most of this you're already gonna know. I'm not telling you anything new I'm just gonna try to remind you So it's important to define what a marriage is. And then also I want to talk about some of the benefits of a good marriage. And marriage is such a, it's such a double-sided coin because a bad marriage can be one of the worst experiences of your life. But then on the flip side, a good marriage can be one of the best experiences. And there have been people who, you know, had a marriage that didn't work out and they could testify to, uh, you know, one marriage being it's causing so many problems and so much trouble and then completely opposite in a different marriage everything you know just adds to your life so i really didn't want to talk about the benefits of marriage i know we're kind of living a culture and this isn't new to us it's new it's new somewhat to our country because for so long our country has held some, our country has held a lot toward moral, biblical moral values and point of view. But as far as cultures are concerned throughout history, cultures have always made a mess of this problem. And cultures generally go away and against from what the Bible teaches about this. So marriage can be good and bad. There's nothing better than a great marriage, nothing sometimes worse than a bad marriage. So that's why it's you got to be so careful when it comes to this decision. And we, you know, we talked, I know we didn't spend a lesson on our relationship with the Lord, but your relationship with the Lord is so important when it comes to choosing who you're going to spend the rest of your life with, because you, the best you can do, you know, some people have your parents. In fact, I want to be careful about this because if I say, I don't think I'll say anything biblical that your parents don't agree with, but, uh, Everybody has a different thought process. Some people think the engagement should be really long. And some people think they shouldn't be that long, that that's a area for temptation and causes problems. So some parents will say you need to have this much money before you consider getting married. So I don't want to say anything that goes against the counsel of your parents. Of course, as long as what they're telling you doesn't go against the Word of God, but I don't think any of you have parents that would do that. Respect your parents, even if you don't agree with them. We've already talked about that relationship. Don't, oh, I get running rabbits, and we'll probably deal with this later. But when it comes to a relationship, when it comes to a boy or a girl in your life, you know, it starts with a boyfriend or girlfriend before it becomes a husband or wife. Don't start off on the wrong foot with your parents. There are a lot of people who, because of a difference of opinion, their relationship with their parents blows up when they have a boyfriend or girlfriend. And then 10 years down the road, they have to go back and try to mend that relationship. So you may not agree with everything your parents think. If you're a guy, when you put the ring on her finger, if you're a girl, when he puts the ring on your finger, Then you get to make your own decisions. It doesn't give you a right, again, we've already talked about it, it doesn't give you a right to disrespect your parents, but then you get to, it don't really matter after that what your parents tell you to do, you get to make your own decisions then. So through your whole process of dating or courtship, I know some people refer to it as courtship, and that's been a big area of controversy with some people. I say dating a lot, and of course I don't mean I don't mean dating like the world considers it of just, you know, five different boyfriends through, you know, in a year. Dating, that idea of dating, but of course, we're also not necessarily in the early 1900s, so we don't like to use the word courtship. So you know what I mean. I'm talking about biblical courtship or dating, if I use the word dating. I'll try not to do that. But anyway, when you're going through that whole process, try your best, keep a good relationship with your parents, because it's important. And listen to your parents. Your parents, I know they don't seem like it to you right now, but they know a lot more than you think. And they'll see things that maybe you don't when it comes to your life partner. So here, Genesis 2, 24, I put this verse as just kind of a good theme verse. This kind of describes what marriage is. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife And they shall be one flesh. You know, one thing that's intriguing to me about this whole text of creation is how much that God divides when he creates. And I've preached a little bit on that in the past year or so. But this is another area where division leads to a union. And division is tough. I'll say this. I don't know that I'll say anything much more about it through the lessons. One of the hardest times I had emotionally and mentally in my life was during our engagement. And it's crazy because, of course, that's what I'd waited on in my whole life as a young adult, is finally found somebody that loved me. And we were going to get married, but there's so much change that comes with it. And I think that's one of the things that just really threw me for a loop. I mean, especially if you have it, because some people graduate from high school and they go to college and they leave their parents then. But if you've been close to your parents and close to your family and early mid-twenties or even later when you get married. All that change is really intimidating, but it's a good change. That's one of the things this verse is talking about. Leaving your father and mother again, it doesn't mean you're leaving forever and don't ever get to see them. That probably happened more in the Bible days because they didn't have cars and airplanes and ways of traveling. But thankfully, you know, Even if you marry somebody a ways away, you'll still get to stay connected with your parents. It doesn't mean in the sense, it just means that your authority has changed. Priority has changed. It's a completely different relationship. So it's a huge change. And sometimes it's a tough change to deal with. But that's what marriage is. That's leaving old relationships behind, not just parental, but even friendships. And now you have this new relationship that's the most important relationship in your life. But again, this is, and I mentioned this again, this is, God was the designer of marriage and this was his statement. And we'll read a verse in just a few minutes that Jesus reiterates this statement, this verse in the New Testament. So this is just a great, this is a great synopsis of what marriage is, a man leaving his father and mother and cleaving unto his wife. And then this is such a profound statement that they shall be one flesh. That is a biblical truth and a biblical principle that's so important to understand when it comes to marriage. It's a relationship like no other relationship you ever had. One of the things that I've noticed just in the last few months studying for some of this, because I've told you sometimes I'll read after or listen to a secular point of view. And one of the things I noticed is a lot of people in our day want to say that friendships can be just, you can have friendships that are just as valuable as a marriage, a husband or a wife. And I mean, there's people I've read after this saying, you can have friendships. You don't even need to ever get married, which is just not biblical at all. Friendships are great. And you know, you'll have some really good friendships. But the marriage relationship is a relationship that has a special blessing and a special union. And in the eyes of God, you can have a close friendship. But in the eyes of God, you and your best friend will never be one person. But in the eyes of God, when you enter that covenant of marriage, you become one person with your husband and your wife. So it's a very special, important relationship. Let me run over these really quick. Again, as I mentioned a moment ago, you're a This is most of this you already know. I'm just going to remind you. Some of it is crazy. It even has to be said, but it's just the culture that we're living in. So when we think about marriage, what is a biblical marriage? I've already told you everybody, not everybody, but a lot of people in society has a, have a different idea about what marriage is. If you were to just go down on the street somewhere, especially in Asheville, you were to go on the street in Asheville and start to ask people, what, what do you think marriage is? It would be unbelievable. some of the responses that you got and the definitions of what marriage is. And of course, none of that really matters. If we're trying to serve the Lord, I want to know what does God say a biblical marriage is, okay? So here we go. Let me just give you a handful of these. Here's the one that shouldn't have to be mentioned, but the Bible is very, very clear that marriage is between a man and a woman. This has been, a controversy for the last several decades. So I remember, I guess, I told you, I still feel like I'm your guy's age, but I know I'm 10 to 20 years older than most of you. But I can remember when I was a young, maybe earlier than a teenager, I guess, when this started to be a big issue around here. And there started to be, I remember as a kid, they started having rallies. There was a family rally, I can't remember the name of it. I think maybe Ralph Sexton was one of the ones that kind of headed it up. There was a big family rally in Asheville, I remember us going to when I was a kid. I may have been a teenager, if I was a teenager, I was a young teenager. But that issue started to be, I don't think that it was that hot of a topic. Asheville's always been a little weird for quite a while. But I don't think it was that hot of a topic until about the turn of the century and then that's when it really ramped up. One of the rallies was because of Orville English that owned Wolf Laurel. He had, I can't remember what it was, he wouldn't hire somebody I think because they said they were homosexual. I think that was the situation. So it was all over the newspaper and everybody was in uproar. So there was a big rally in Asheville to stand with him and for him. So it has become really controversial. Most of you can't remember a time where it wasn't. It's been controversial your whole life. It's crazy. This is even a subject that we deal with. So here's where I want to start. This is so clear. I think that's the only verse you need. But Genesis 1, 27, at the end of creation, you know, man was made on the sixth day. And he said in verse number, verse 27, so God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him, male and female created he them. And then of course, he goes into the description, which we'll talk about in just a minute, in chapter number two, about Adam being alone and God creating a female, Eve, a woman, to be Adam's wife. So from the beginning, it was established that The relationship of marriage is reserved for a man and woman. And listen, it's going to, it's going to get worse. The further time that goes on and you're going to have people that you can look used to, uh, People who were homosexuals, I'll use that word, I guess that's the best word to use, sodomized, I guess you could use the Bible word. But people who lived that lifestyle were, in a lot of ways, to themselves. And you just didn't meet a whole lot of people like that. But now it's, I mean, it's everywhere. And it seems like probably I don't know, several times a year I'll work for someone who, sometimes you don't, sometimes it really catches you by surprise, but they'll mention something about their, not long ago I worked for a lady in Asheville that mentioned, she mentioned her wife. And she just didn't seem like, you know, it's terrible, but she kind of used a stereotype people like that, but she didn't seem like that kind of lady, but it's there's and of course now because When this was first an issue that was before Transgenderism was really that big of a deal like nobody was trying to at least mainstream nobody was trying to to become a woman that was a man or Become a man that was a woman, but now that's a huge issue now. That's kind of the one of the the biggest topics as far as a cultural issue that we deal with. So it's just going to get worse and worse. And as a Christian, it doesn't mean even though things happen, it's just repulsive, the things people are involved in. But as a Christian, you still have to show the love of God. I say have to, it's not a I mean, we should want to if anybody needs to know the Lord is people who are caught up in things like that. So you have to take a firm stance on where you stand as a believer and what the Bible says. But then on the other hand, we should show the love of God. And you're going to come and contact people. You know, you're going to have people in your life that are in some sort of crazy, unbiblical lifestyle. And you know, you'll have an opportunity to be a lot to them and you should be. But again, I just want to point out that, and I know all of you know this, but marriage is between a man and a woman. That is how God designed it. And society, they can recognize it. The government can recognize it. It can be legitimized in so many ways in society, but it will never, ever, ever in the eyes of God be a marriage. A man and a man get married. because in the eyes of God it's a man-only, okay? Simple enough. Let's move on. I don't want to waste a bunch of time with that. So here's another one. This ain't as big of a deal. I say it's not as big of a deal, but it is an issue in our society, and that is a marriage is a monogamous union, meaning that One woman and one man. Now, there's so many. There's there's so much that you see in the Bible, especially when you look in the Old Testament. That's where everybody wants to go to try to make an excuse for polygamy. and say that it's okay to have, and of course this is talking about multiple wives. I don't know why it's never been a problem for a woman to want multiple husbands. When I say that, I guess I do know why. Because men are hard to live with. Who would want to live with more than one man? But anyway, it's never been a problem for a woman to want a bunch of husbands, but it has been a problem throughout history for men to want a bunch of wives. And we see that in the Old Testament. And I think I mentioned this a few weeks ago, I don't remember what we were talking about, but everywhere you see it in the Old Testament, it's causing a ton of problems, which is just another evidence that that's not the way God created it to be. I want to give you this verse real quick, 1 Corinthians chapter number seven. We'll revisit this verse in our study because this is where Paul talks a lot about singleness. So we're gonna talk some about that later on but here's what he says to the church at Corinth in verse number two He says nevertheless to avoid fornication. Let every man have his own wife and Let every woman have her own husband. So if you want a New Testament passage that says marriage is between one man and one woman and Paul was very clear that It doesn't say, let every man have as many wives as you want. Every man should have his own wife and every woman. And every time it's mentioned throughout the scripture, it's always singularly. And when you talk about, when you look at the commands that are given to us in the New Testament that we'll look through, husbands love your wives and wives submit to your husbands. It's always, it's always talking about one woman and one man. So, you know, I don't think anybody here is wanting to be, a polygamist and have a bunch of wives, but you can't. The Bible says no. Once you get married and they start shopping, you'll realize one's all you can afford. That problem will fix itself later on. All right, let's go to the next one real quick. A man and a woman, a monogamous union, one man, one woman. And let me say this, the reason I said that's an issue, going back to the second point, is because now there's this thing, and I want to be really careful, because I know we have a broad age group here, and I know we also have different, so some of you don't have, you don't have, satellite TV at the house. You don't watch, you probably watch something, but it's really restricted, which is a good thing because there's a lot of terrible things on TV. So I want to be careful. I don't want to introduce you or say things that you've never heard before, but used to, especially when I was growing up, it was a lot easier to be sheltered. We are living in a day where, and I'm sheltering, you know, we use the term shelter like it's a bad thing, but We shelter every single thing we like in our life. So shelter is not a bad thing. But the best you can do nowadays, you're going to be introduced to some crazy things because of the world we're living in. So I want to try to be very careful. I want to make sure that I don't say anything that would be offensive to you or your parents. But I want to throw this out. There's this term now called an open relationship. It's not having a bunch of different wives as far as being like, you know, you think of a Mormon, the Mormons who practice polygamy. In fact, when we were in Utah back in the fall, I didn't know this, that fundamental, usually fundamental Baptist means you're really conservative. But if you say fundamental to a Mormon, a fundamental Mormon is a Mormon who practices polygamy. That's what they call fundamental. So it's good to be a fundamental Baptist. It's not good to be a fundamental Mormon. These this idea of open relationships, so, you know, I have a boyfriend or girlfriend or a husband or a wife But I'm gonna date and I'm gonna see other people. That's First of all, it's unbelievable that people think that would work. It never works and it's just completely against the Bible Any kind of open relationship? There's no such thing when it comes to marriage your relationships between you and husband, okay? Let me go to this Romans 7 2 and that's the fact that that a marriage is a lifelong commitment. Again, the other relationships we've talked about will have their ebb and flow. They'll have seasons to them. You'll have a season in your life where you're closer to your parents than maybe another season. You'll have seasonal friends in your life. who, uh, who are nothing, you know, again, like I said, it's not that anything bad happens, but they're just there for a season. And then you grow apart for whatever reason things happen. But when it comes to the marriage relationship, this is the one relationship that you choose. That is a lifelong commitment. Now, let me just give you this verse, Romans seven, two, you don't have to turn there, but, uh, this is the verse we go to, you know, the term till death do us part is not necessarily in the Bible. Most of the time that comes from the book of Ruth. when Ruth told Naomi, you know, your God will be my God and where you die, I'll die. That term is not necessarily in the Bible, but the principle is, because he said, for the woman was hath a husband and is bound by the law. Now, Paul's just using this for a spiritual illustration, but the truth is still there. He said, so long as he liveth, her husband, but if the husband be dead, she is loose from the law of her husband. And then he goes on to make the spiritual application. the truth about marriage is, is that it's one man, one woman and the way God designed. Now again, this is not a slot. This isn't saying that someone who has been married more than once is a lesser Christian or anything like that. It's just one of those things that come with living in the world and living in flesh. Um, but, but as far as God's design, and I think anyone who's had, uh, Multiple marriages would tell you that there are problems that come with that that you'll avoid if you if you marry in the Lord's will and Live your whole life With the person that you marry so that's the way God intended it to be Is and that's why when you need to think about because you don't when you're young and in the in the moment in so many ways You don't think about the the the commitment that you're making. But that's why it's so serious that when you make the commitment of marriage, you need to approach it as being this is forever. This is this is my commitment for as long as as we live. I'm going to be married to this person. So I know it's not that serious in our society. That's one of the ways that Satan has attacked it. And he made it really, really easy for marriages to be broken apart. But the greatest choice you can make is making that choice for forever. And there's several verses that you could mention, but I put that one as the reference, Romans 17. Here's one. OK, let me deal with this. And I've got to hurry again or I'll go over an hour. I'm trying not to. I don't have a timer, but I'm only doing 25 minutes. One of the things we see from Genesis is that the first marriage to ever happen, and not just this marriage, but you'll see it in other marriages throughout the scripture, but the first marriage that ever happened was orchestrated by God. So let's read the verse first, Genesis chapter two and verse number 22. And again, we'll get into this probably more in some other lessons, but this is just God going back and talking about everything that happened. Somebody, I read after, or not read, I was listening to someone yesterday And I don't know who he was or what church is pretty, pretty big church. But he was talking about this account. And he said that scientists said that scientists believe that Adam was single for 25 years. And that there was 25 year I have no idea. where in the world he got that from. Because in chapter number two, that's, it's just going back. This isn't a later day. All of this happened in day number six, because at the end of day number six, it said, God created man, male and female, created he them. So it goes back in chapter number two and just talks about this whole, so he wasn't single for any longer than a day. Um, I have no idea where that came from, 25 years. That's a long time to be naming animals. That's insane. Scientists, to be so smart, they come up with some dumb ideas. But anyway, all of this, I think, happened in one day. But here's what the Bible said. I didn't read the verse yet, did I? Verse 22, and Adam said, or excuse me, and the Rhea, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman and brought her into the man. Now, of course, this isn't a perfect, Analogy of your marriage because that's not gonna put you to sleep and take your rib out and create another woman That's not how it works. Now. This is how the first Marriage worked, but here's one of the things you can see is that this marriage was orchestrated by God now Let me give you my opinion and you take for what it's worth. My opinion is is just that it's not worth Any more than anybody else's opinion? So when I was growing up, I guess this movement was probably older than me. Miss Rachel, I'm not going to say how much older than me, but Miss Rachel and Brother Danny, they're about 10 years older than me and Katie. So she could probably say yes or no. I think this was going on before me, but it was talked about a lot when I was a teenager. And that was the idea of the one. So when everybody was looking for a spouse, You guys are laughing a lot. I don't know what you're talking about. Out of everybody that needs this marriage advice, you guys need this marriage advice, all right? I'm just kidding. I want you to listen to this though. Here's my opinion, all right? Everybody talks about the one, like it's this mysterious thing, like, so out there, and it is really romantic. You ladies probably like this. You like to lay in bed and think, somewhere out there, is the one for me. And, you know, you imagine what he looks like and you imagine how he talks. And someday God is, you know, the day that I was born, there was also miles away, someone else born that God created just for me. So I don't want to take out all the romanticism and don't want, but I don't, I don't believe, and I don't think there's any biblical basis that from the moment now, again, this is so, it's, it's one of those things that we know man has a free will, but we also know God is sovereign. He knows the end from the beginning. So I want to tell you the role I believe that God plays in marriage. I don't believe that the day you were born, there was also, you know, a few rooms down the hospital, a man born who is the one for you. The only problem with that is, is that your whole life hinges on the free will of someone else. So, so, so let's say if, say, Andrew, God only created one woman for you, that was God created one woman for Andrew Boone and no other choice. Well, if she decides to just go out and do whatever she wants, she don't want to serve God. She don't, I mean, she may not even get saved because every, every person has a free will. So my whole life depends on whether the person who was the one is willing to do what's right. So I don't think it happens like that. I don't think there's the one necessarily. But now here's what I do believe. I do believe, I think you see this throughout the Bible, I do believe that when it comes time for you to get married, I do believe that there is the will of God for your life. I believe you have two people who, we don't know where they're born, we don't know how they're raised, we don't know what kind of home they're brought up in, but you have two people who get saved and they give their life to the Lord. And you have two people who won't serve the Lord. You have two people who may be in different church, may be in different states. It's amazing the stories behind some people who get married. but you have two people who are serving the Lord and because life is a series of choices, right? Your whole life consists of choices that you make. So you, you have two people who have made choice, choice, choice, choice, choice. And I believe that when the time, and it's different when they talk about it, some, it's different for everyone. Some people, you know, I've got, uh, I've got two sisters that got married. Uh, Sarah was like, well, how was Rebecca? Sarah was 18. She had just turned 18. And I don't know how old Rebecca was, but she was young. So I have two sisters who got married almost immediately after they graduated high school. And then I was 25 before I got married. It may be over in that. There's no date on when you have to get married. But I believe two people make choices. But I do believe when it's time that God brings those two people together. So it's tough to me. I think I feel like there's a balance of it. There's not, you know, this one person that if they don't work out, then that's the only option for me. And I'm single the rest of my life. But also, I believe God has a unique way, just like he did with Adam and Eve, just like he did in other marriages in the scripture. God has a unique way. If you're serving the Lord and you're just trying to follow, not that you're perfect because you're not, no, I'm sorry, but you're just trying to follow the Lord. God has a unique way of bringing two people together who are supposed to be together. And, uh, I think, you know, of course, in this situation is so different because God created Eve for Adam, but a God at the right time will bring your spouse into your life. And I think he'll also, cause you know, one of the big things is will, uh, Satan will bring someone in your life too. And that very well may happen. He may try to find, but also I believe that the, I believe if you're, if you're related to the Lord again, that's why it's so important to have a good relationship with the Lord. If your relationship with the Lord is right, I also believe that God gives a protection. If you're really seeking the Lord, the Lord will show you, the Lord will guide you. It's not this huge mystery that you have to figure out. In fact, in fact, it just depends on who you tell. It depends on the personality. Because some people are so ready to get married, they're married first person that they see, you know. It's like, so those people you're like, just wait, calm down. But then there are some people who are so hesitant. that it's really possible they've missed out on a good relationship. Maybe someone that the Lord put in their life, but they were so, so hesitant that they weren't willing. So that's, that's a tough thing. You really have to follow the Lord when it comes to direction. But I do believe this, that if God is, if God, if you're letting the Lord work in your life, I'm just rambling about this. I feel like if you're letting the Lord work in your life, then he'll, he'll work. the timing, and the person, and everything else out. He'll bring you together. And here's what I think happens sometimes. Let me say this. I'm moving on. I'm going to leave this subject alone. Beat it into the ground. Here's what I think, though, happens sometimes is this idea of there being a one. It is magical. It's just perfect. So first of all, your spouse is not perfect. Whoever you're going to marry, they're not perfect. And if you think they are, you're going to be rudely awoken one day. You're not going to find someone perfect. So sometimes when we think there's one, I know, Callista, you think Thomas is perfect. But no, I'm just kidding. She already knows that's not true. But I'm sorry. I shouldn't pick on you. I thought about y'all. You're the only ones that are engaged. I thought, I'm not going to embarrass him. And then there I went and embarrassed him. But on and on the street. Now I'm just embarrassing myself. Sorry, Autumn. You're the only two here. Jesse's not here. And nobody likes Jesse right now because he's taken off. So Lily says, yes, that's right. But sometimes I think when you think of a one, it takes away the responsibility of marriage. Here's what I honestly believe is true. There are people that probably married the wrong one. But in all honesty, they didn't follow God's will. But I believe this. Listen to me. I believe this. I believe if you if two people who are the wrong one say he might have made a mistake. And again, it takes both parties in a marriage. But if two people say, we're just going to follow the word of God, we're going to we're going to live according to the word of God. They can still make a marriage work because it's not, you know, I'm not trying to I'm not trying to take away from God's work in it. But sometimes we think it's just this mystical thing. And it is very romantic. But marriage is hard work. Even if it's the one, it's hard work. So once you're married, you don't have to worry about if it's the one or not. You just serve God and try to live your marriage according to the Bible. And let it work itself out, OK? All right, moving on. That's all I want to say about it. That's all the 15 minutes I want to spend on that point. This is a really important thing about marriage. I want to take you to Matthew 19, 6. And this is where Jesus reiterates Genesis 1, 27. But one of the things, and of course, one of the things to having a successful, this is true from the beginning to the end. So whether it's right now, you're looking forward to marriage or someday down the road, you've been married 50 years and you're looking back. This principle is true from beginning to end, that to have a successful marriage, God has got to be involved. How many of you have heard the it's such a good illustration and everybody uses it when it comes to marriage. But how many of you have heard the illustration of a triangle and how that your own your own One, the bottom corner of the triangle and your spouse is on the other. And God is at the top. And the closer you two try to get to God, the closer you'll get to each other. And that's a perfect picture, I think, of how any relationship, especially a marriage relationship works. God has to be the center of it. And marriage, again, is more than just a friendship, but it is a covenant between it's a covenant between two people. It's more than just a commitment, even. It's a covenant between two people, and it's a covenant that includes God. Let me just read you this verse, and we'll go to our last slide. 19, 6, he said, wherefore, they are, or let me back up to verse 5. He said, for this call shall a man leave his father and mother and shall plead to his wife, and they shall twain be one flesh. They twain shall be one flesh. So that's what, that's the verse of Genesis 1. And then, or Genesis 2. Verse number six, wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh, and he makes this great statement, what therefore God hath joined together, let no man put asunder. I think this is true, marriage is a supernatural, I say relationship, it's a supernatural union. It is something that when two people And there's a there's a variety of different ceremonies, right? Culture is has changed throughout history. Cultures are very different. We have a very traditional, you know, we have a traditional ceremony that in our culture and ceremony is not it's important because there's for marriage, there's a public commitment. But the way a ceremony goes is not that important. What's important is that two people make that covenant together. that they're promising their life to each other. And they're giving themselves completely unholy to each other. And when two people make that covenant, and they enter into a marriage relationship, God is the one that joins that that whole I mean, I don't completely understand that. But to become one flesh, God is the one who joins that marriage that it's a supernatural union. So God should be involved from the very beginning in our relationship when it comes to marriage, okay? All right, let me just give you a few minutes. I'm gonna hit these really, really quick, and we're done tonight. And we'll try to unpack this a different way next week. The blessings of marriage. I know marriage is a thing nowadays. Just really look down on it. I probably joke too much. I'm really bad to joke around about kind of some of the stereotypes of marriage. Marriage is really frowned upon in the day that we live. Depending on how you were raised, you may have a different view of marriage. I've told you this over and over, but I was so blessed to be raised in a good home. I'm telling you, as soon as me and Elizabeth, the sister right next to me, as soon as we were old enough to watch the kids, like 13 or 14 years old. It was at least once a week probably mom and dad left every one of us and they went on a date. And I didn't know there was parents that didn't leave their kids home alone. I thought that was normal. But uh, but uh, yeah, I mean, I was blessed to have I knew mom and dad loved. And they loved us. I never fell in love. But I knew they loved each other more than they loved us. I knew there was something different with their relationship. I was blessed to see, and not that they didn't have their fights and their moments, but I was blessed to be raised by two people who really loved each other and they had a good marriage. That never, you know, I never had a perspective of marriage being a bad thing. If you were raised in a home that it was a rough marriage and you saw the problems, it was more of just two people who didn't like each other living together. Then you may have a different perspective of marriage. And you're going to have to be careful not to carry that over into your marriage when you get older. Because the way the Bible describes marriage, we kid about it as being a ball and chain and your life is over with. But the way that the Bible describes marriage is a good thing. Let me tell you this before I go through these points really quick. Does anybody here watch the Dick Van Dock show? OK, there's one, two, three, four, five. I always joked about this, that you know you're homeschooled if you and your grandparents have the same favorite TV shows. When we were growing up, Nanny Dotson would record some of those old ones for us on VHS. And all the shows we watched had like AARP commercials and the Acorn Lift commercials, because they were all toward old people. And we were just a bunch of teenagers watching them. But anyway, what was I talking about? Oh, the Dick Van Dyke show. So there's an episode. Some of you may know. Your parents probably won't let you watch this episode, because it's not a good episode. It's not near as bad as some of the episodes nowadays. But it's not a good one. But what's his name? Robert Petrie? Is that his last name? Anyway, so Robert Petrie's the dad. And they've got just the typical, I guess, mid-1900s home. I guess that's when it was set. He has a friend come who was a magazine writer for like, so it was like, it was women of the month calendars and of course it wasn't here as bad as it is nowadays, but it still wasn't great. They weren't modest. Um, but it wasn't what it is nowadays. So, but anyway, the whole premise of this episode that you shouldn't watch. The whole premise of this episode is that, uh, this guy comes into town and he's like, Robert, I can't believe you're still married. And you know, he's got a wife and a kid and they're just he's got his his nine-to-five job or whatever and the whole episode is him trying to get him to join his his magazine and to be a writer in his magazine and It's just it's just a magazine geared toward living the life the free life single life So the whole episode he's trying to get him to do it and and he's making he goes over to supper with him his wife and he's making jokes about her and you know, the whole ball and chain and all that. And the episode goes on, his wife's mad at him that he's even considering it. You know, like, why don't you love me? You want to be like him. You want to be free and not married. So by the end of the episode, of course, he turns down the job. And the guy can't believe it. His friend's like, what's wrong with you? You're giving up all this, this money and this popularity. And he makes a statement at the end that I've always stuck with me since the first time I saw him. He makes a statement at the end of that episode. And he says, the problem with men, I think he was talking to his wife or his son or whoever it was, but he said, the problem with men like him, he said, is they view marriage as a prison, that it's keeping them from everything that they want to do and everything they can enjoy. But he said, me, he said, he said, I don't view marriage like prison walls. He said, I view marriage like the walls of Disneyland. And he said, inside of those walls are the most fun and the most enjoyment that you can ever have. And I always thought that's just a, you know, from a secular TV show, that's a pretty good statement. And that's true. There are a lot of people who look at it as being, you know, taking away your freedom. It is statistically, you can take the Bible out of it, it's statistically proven that people who don't even realize it, but they follow the biblical model of marriage are happier They have healthier lives. They avoid so many problems. And of course, it's always a temptation of sin. You think it's more fun to not be bound down. You think it's more fun to be living your life and to be single and free. I'm telling you, when you do it the way that God designed it, it is the greatest life that you can have. And it's not going to be a ball and chain. It's not going to be cheap. And it's tough. It's not easy. I don't mean to say it's easy, because it's tough. There are tough times, but it's also worth it. You can't you can't get anything else in life that will give you more peace and satisfaction and enjoyment. You could go. I wouldn't. I would challenge you to go find two people who have chosen two different paths in life. Find someone who's followed the word of God and then find someone who's lived to themselves. And if you don't find them when they're in the middle of their sin, because they could be having a big old time. Find somebody who's 50, 60, 70 years old, and I guarantee you, the person, again, it's not, I honestly think it's somebody who's perfect, but I'm telling you, the person who's made choices trying to follow the Lord is gonna have a much happier life than someone who's made choices going away from the Lord. All right. Let me just go through three things really quick, all right, and I'm done, I promise. Companionship, so Genesis 2.18, I'll just read you this. These are just some of the blessings of marriage. Uh, this again is when, uh, when God brought Eve to Adam or not when he brought him down, but this is when Adam was single. And here's what he said in verse number 18. Uh, and the Lord God said is not good. The man should be alone. I will make and help me for him. So one of the first reasons for marriage was to have a friend. And again, you don't have best friends, but you'll never have a friend like the friends you have. If you follow the Lord in marriage, you'll, you'll have, you'll have a companion. through every season of life. That's a great aspect. I want, let me say this one and I don't even lie. I guess this is the best word to use. I don't really like the way it sounds. I mean, we'll clear this up later, but also in verse number 18, there's a, there's an aspect of completion that comes with getting married because God said he was going to make a help meet, which means that it was, so he said it wasn't good for Adam to be alone. And it means that there were some things in Adam's life that that he lacked and that he couldn't fulfill himself. So he said, I'm going to make someone to complete him because Adam saw all the animals that they had mates and he didn't have anybody. So he said, when I make you, I'm going to make somebody who who's completely opposite of him, completely different. You'll learn that when you get married. You know that now. But man, we we think so different. There have been times me and Kay's been fighting about something. And I said, listen, we just have to leave it here. You think different than I do. I cannot see your side of this situation. Because you're completely opposite. You're just opposite people. But those opposites also complements. One of the great illustrations is like the positive and negative on a battery. They have completely different roles. But a battery don't work without both of them. It takes both of those complete the circuit and give power. So it's true in your life. And the reason I want to be careful of this is it doesn't mean that you have to get married to be a complete Christian, because we're going to deal with what the Bible says about singleness. And there is people who live their whole life single. And I think that's a special gift. The Bible's pretty clear about that. I've never met a guy who or maybe I could understand a woman, you know, I'm not one to have to live with a guy. I've never met a guy who wanted to live their life single. Every one of us guys wants someone that will be lonely our whole life. So I'm not trying to say that you can't be a complete Christian without being married. Your relationship with the Lord is important. You can find your completeness in Christ. But naturally, outside of just, I think, what the Bible talks about as the spiritual gift of singleness. Outside of the spiritual gift of singleness, naturally, God designed it for a man and a woman to get married and to be a helpmate, to meet each other's deficiencies. There are things that you're bad at that your wife will be good at, and it'll make your life better. And there are things you're good at that your wife will be bad at, don't ever tell her. But there's things that you'll be good at that your wife will be bad at, and that'll complete your relationship. So there is an aspect, and I hope I will explain that as we go further, there's an aspect of completion that comes with marriage. There's a connection. I'm not even gonna turn to this verse. We're gonna try to stay out of Psalm Solomon as much as we can, because I'll really get in trouble then. Psalm Solomon's just a mushy book. You don't find anywhere else in the Bible, you know, all the Old Testament's just so cut and dry. Like this guy married this woman, and you don't hear much about their love stories. But man, Song of Solomon is a mushy book. It's a good book. It's a great picture of a relationship. And there's some good principles in the Song of Solomon. The one though, this verse, I'm not going to read it, but everybody's seen it on a picture in Hobby Lobby probably. I found the one who my soul loved. And there's some of the romantic statements out of the Song of Solomon. But it's true. There's a connection. This is so true. I've talked about best friends, but there is a connection in marriage with someone. It is a, again, it's a supernatural union. It is a soul connection. It's a connection that you'll never have with any other relationship in your life. There's a special connection between husband and wife. Uh, children is a benefit. Maybe not when you're raising them sometimes. But, uh, Psalm 127, I'm going to make you turn there. It's where he said, low children are heritage of the Lord. Uh, you know, he goes on to say, blessed is the man who hath his, uh, their arrows in the hand of the mighty man. Blessed is the man who hath his quiver full. Uh, but children are a blessing and I'm telling you, children, they really are like, sometimes I'm a little, sometimes I'm a little bitter at my kids because First of all, from 18 to 25, I've done whatever I wanted to do. And then when I got married, I had a best friend. And for a year and a half, we did whatever we wanted to do. We didn't have any kids to get in the way. So I'm a little bitter at my kids, because they have taken away some of my freedom. But their kids are a ton of fun. And they're such a blessing. I only know what it's like in the early life of kids. But I know. I have some family members, distant, they're not anybody you'd know, so don't start guessing which family I'm talking about. There's some distant family, none of you have ever met them. But I have a few great aunts that Never, one of them never got married and one of them never had kids. And I don't know the reason, I don't say, some people can't have kids. And that's definitely don't mean that if you don't have kids, your marriage is not legitimate or anything like that. Sometimes it's just, again, part of living, being a human. Sometimes people can't have kids. But I've always feel sorry for them, especially my one great aunt who was never married and never had any kids. She wasn't a bad lady, she was really, She was a dachshund, so that's probably why nobody could get along with her. At least that's what my wife blames me on, is dachshunds. But anyway. But she never did anything. I mean, she's never a rambunctious or wild woman. But she just never did. And it's, you know, you may think you're having freedom at first and you're not having to deal with kids. But it is, I think it's a lonely life to get old and never have any kids and not have any family. It is a real blessing to have. And again, I've said this over and over, but for some of you that maybe weren't raised in a good home and your home life wasn't good growing up, if you follow the Lord in marriage and you make sure and put God first and you make good choices, biblical choices in marriage and you have kids, I'm telling you, you'll get a blessing. The Lord may repay you for the years you missed out on growing up. of being able to have a good home and a happy home and kids. And it's just I'm telling you, there's there's just it's one of those things. It's hard to explain. You have to experience it. But it's a great joy to have kids and have a marriage. Let me say this probably. Let's see how long, 53 minutes, not even an hour yet. But let me say this one thing. You can turn to Ephesians five sometime, you know, the verse where he said, Husbands, love your wife, even as Christ loved the church. And Paul talks about the relationship between a husband and a wife. One of the blessings of marriage that you should remember as you go, as you look forward to it, is that marriage is a great, marriage is a great opportunity to be a picture of Christ in our world. That's what, when Paul said that, he said, I speak, he said, what's the exact words? He said, I speak to you concerning the mystery and human sacrifice where he talks about the mystery of Christ and the church, that he's using the natural relationship between a man and a woman. He said, this is the closest thing that I can use to compare Christ's relationship with the church. And again, I think that's why Satan has attacked it so much in our society. The reason he's tried and we and you'll experience it to some degree in your life. But the reason that he has tried to destroy marriages over and over again is because I feel like Satan thinks when he gets when he can destroy a marriage, I think Satan almost feels like he's he's getting a lick in on God. And it's almost like he's getting a lick in on the gospel, because it's such a perfect picture of Christ in the church. So anyway, there's you some, there's some thoughts about marriage. And I'm still haven't completely got it nailed down. But I do want to moving forward, I want to do this. I want to talk about being single, because right now that's where all of you are, is you're single. And that's important. I told you at the beginning of the lesson tonight, I think that to be a good husband or wife, I think you need to be a good I say you're single, but you all that are engaged, you're not really single. It's not marriage, but it's still pretty important. But for most of you all are single. So I want to talk about that. And how do you decide? How do you decide are you supposed to be single your whole life? I don't know that I can answer that, but we'll talk about some passages. And then I also want to talk about the process of, because we talked about dating, this world, their idea, it kind of sets you up for failure. It's like, oh, I'm going to try this person out. And if I don't like them, then I want to try somebody else out. And you go through all these emotional, give your heart to somebody, and then it's broken. And that's the reason Taylor Swift is a millionaire, because of all of her broken heart songs. So that's the idea of the culture, you know, is you got to go through a bunch of heartbreaks and a bunch of stuff. But I think if you do it the way of the Bible, it don't mean you marry the first person you talk to. You do it the way the Bible says, you don't have to go through all that. So we'll talk about that, courtship, dating, whatever you want to call it. And then also, I think, at one point, we'll probably do a split, less of a split, guys and girls. I'll probably let Katie teach the girls, and I'll teach the guys. But we may talk about some things gender-specific to preparing for marriage and some of the temptations that you deal with toward marriage. Pray for me that I'll be able to organize it the right way. Let's dismiss the prayer. We'll be dismissed tonight. Thank you for your good teaching. You're always so easy to teach. That's why it's so easy to go an hour. Again, it's your fault. Let's pray. Lord, we thank you for our lesson tonight. I'm sure I'm thankful for marriage. And I know it's tough in the day that we live. Looking toward marriage, it sure is intimidating because of the way our society is. And I know that for some of these young people, that's going to be their next big step in life. And Lord, I pray that you give us wisdom, help us to have a good biblical understanding of what marriage is. And I know that from this group of young people that there's going to be some happy homes that are developed. And I look forward to knowing these guys 20, 30 years down the road and seeing how you work in their life. And Lord, just help us to be reminded of some of the dangers, some of the pitfalls, and that we would just, as close as we can, follow your word. And we thank you for all that you do. We love you. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.