Ephesians 5, beginning in verse number 25. Ephesians 5, 25. Husbands, love your wives even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it, that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word. that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church. For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall be joined unto his wife, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless, let every one of you, in particular, so love his wife even as himself, and the wife see that she reverence her husband. Great passage of scripture. In the last week we finished up, we just touched on the first part of of verse number 25, husbands love your wives even as Christ loved the church. Now this word love here, what kind of love is this? Is this a brotherly love? Okay, agape love, which is the love of God towards us. That kind of love, it's a sacrificial love. We see that here in verse number 25. We're to love our wives even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for. So it's a love that strives for the highest good of our wives. That's the kind of love that we ought to be showing to them, a love that's willing to pay any price for Our wife, whatever is necessary that she needs, are we willing to pay that? Are we willing to pay that price that's needed? And how can you guarantee that you will fail in this? How can you guarantee that you will fail? What's that? If you're selfish, because this love is a selfless love. What else? How can you guarantee you will fail. Yes. Okay. What else? Okay. Yes, yeah, this talk won't save people. So husbands in here, or wives in here. Maybe we should go to the wives. Wives, how have, why is it that your husbands fail in doing this? That's maybe unfair. Put it back on the husbands. Husbands, why do you fail? Looking back in context, back to verse number 18, we'll give you a hint. Okay, not filled with the Spirit. If you try to do this in your own strength, you're gonna fail. It's impossible to love our wives as Christ loved the church or to do this. And when husbands don't do this, can the wives say, great, that's my excuse. I don't have to submit to my husband as I've been told. In verse number 22 or in verse number 33, see that the wife reverence her husband. You don't have to do that if the husband doesn't love you as Christ loved the church. Is that an excuse for you? Okay, it's not. We're both responsible for how we obey that and we consider the type here, a picture here between Christ and the church, consider Husbands, if Christ loved the church as you loved your wife, how would things be different? And wives, if the church honored Christ as you honor your husband, how would things be different? There's a good example of this back in the Song of Solomon. Think about from the, from the churches as we are to honor Christ, as we are to submit ourselves to Him. How are people attracted to Christ? By how we honor Him as a church. And I was thinking about hearing the song of Solomon Chapter five, chapter six, portions of this. This is a good example, I think, of this. So the marriage has taken place here in verse number two. Here's the bride, she's sleeping. She says, I sleep, but my heart waketh. It is the voice of my beloved that knocketh, saying, open to me, my sister, my love, my dove, my undefiled. For my head is filled with the dew, and my locks with the drops of the night. And so her husband's wanting to come in. And this is her response. I have put off my coat. How shall I put it on? I have washed my feet. How shall I defile them? It's cold. You want me to get out of these nice, warm bed? get on this cold, dirty floor and come open the door for you? I mean, what are you thinking? And so he's, in verse number four, my beloved put it in his hand by the hole of the door and my bowel was removed for him, so he's trying to maybe reach the lock. So she gets up, verse number five, I rose up to open to my beloved and my hands dropped with myrrh and my fingers with sweet-smelling myrrh upon the handles of the lock. I opened to my beloved, but my beloved had withdrawn himself and was gone. My soul failed when he spake. I sought him, but I could not find him. I called him, but he gave me no answer. The watchmen that went about the city found me. They smote me. They wounded me. The keepers of the walls took away my veil from me. I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, if you find my beloved, that you tell him that I am sick of love. And look at verse number nine, this is just interesting to me. So this is the response of the daughters of Jerusalem. What is thy beloved more than another beloved? O thou fairest among women. What is thy beloved more than another beloved that thou dost so charge us? What makes him so special that we should seek him as you're seeking him? So in verses nine through the end of the chapter, she is describing him, what makes him so special, and describes in there verses nine through 16. So then the daughters respond, whither is thy beloved gone? O thou fairest among women, whither is thy beloved turned aside, that we may seek him with thee? So that description, verses nine through 16, what is she doing? She's honoring her husband. And the response, that put a good thought in their mind of his character. Consider our response, how we live for Christ, how we honor Christ as a church. That's gonna go a long way how other people see Christ. Are other people gonna wanna see Christ because of how we honor him? And it's important that wives honor their husbands, And we didn't really touch on this a lot, different ways. What are some ways that wives can dishonor their husbands? How do wives dishonor their husbands? Okay, demean him. Whether privately or in public. It's sad when you see it in public, when wives are demeaning their husbands in public. Maybe he's not even there. He's somewhere else, but they're doing that. So that's very dishonoring. What else? Sister Valerie? Okay, running ahead in decision making. So not allowing him to lead. So all these apply, again, to how we as a church honor Christ. Do we run ahead and not seek his will and his word? Do we just move forward with our own plans and not seek what his will is? So that's dishonoring to Christ. How else can a wife dishonor her husband? Cheat on them, okay? And spiritually we see that throughout the scripture. God even calling it spiritual adultery. Bozak. and his will for the decisions in the family, even spiritual leadership. We know your dad said this, but he's not around, so we're gonna just do this anyway. All right, so going against his word, the dad set out one course of action, and the wife says, no, we're not gonna do that. Yes, not being subject to in general. So a lot of different ways, and again, all those apply for us as a church, how do we honor Christ? So back in our text in Ephesians 5, speaking about the sacrificial love, our love for our wives ought to be sacrificial, we're to love our wives even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it. Even as Christ, that is a tall order for us as husbands. Some different passages here, let me hand out a few of these. Brother Pelicone, look up Matthew 20, verse 28. Sister Pelicone, John 10, verse 11. Sister Katie, John 10, verses 17 and 18. Brother Zach, Romans 4, verse 25. First in Matthew two verse six, brother Brandon. Titus two verse 14, brother BJ. Titus two verse 14. So we're to love as Christ loved the church. Matthew 20 verse 28. even as the Son of Man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give His life a ransom for many. There's one example. The Son of Man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give His life a ransom for many. It's not about our wives ministering to us, doing things for us. What a different concept. People say that Christianity has demeaned God's Word was written in the Roman culture. Wives were property. I mean, they had no say. They didn't have any say concerning their children, concerning what happened to their children. I mean, the father had complete authority over his wife, over his children. She had no say. What God puts forth as what we're to be as husbands is contrary to the world, what they want. We are to love our wives, we are to minister to them, and give our lives for them. John 10, verse 11. I am the good shepherd, and the good shepherd giveth his life for the sheep. I am the good shepherd, the good shepherd giveth his life for the sheep. In what way might a shepherd give his life for the sheep? Think about just a regular shepherd. Okay, in defense of the sheep where he might actually physically give up his life, he might actually lose his life. How else might a shepherd give up his life for the sheep? guarding, okay? What about, there's that, the parable of the, is it Luke 15 with the lost sheep? So how many sheep weren't lost? Okay, 99 to one sheep is lost. So what's the shepherd do? Okay, leaves them and goes. Instead of, being comfortable, instead of staying where he wants to be, instead of staying maybe in for the evening, because all of his sheep are safely in the fold and protected, there's one that's out, so now he's gonna spend his life, spend that night, get cold, whatever it is, and go out to look for that sheep. That's another way of giving, that shepherd would give his life, spend his life, not necessarily losing his life, but giving his life. His life is for the sheep. He spends his life for the sheep. What he does, how he sleeps, it's all for the sheep. And husbands, how do we, do we spend our life, do we give our life for our wives in that relationship? Ultimately, we're to give it to Christ. Our life is his, and he is our life, we ought to spend our lives for him, but as husbands, Our lives are for our wives, it's not for us. Right, he's not having fun with his buddies in the gate or in the tavern, he's with the sheep. John 10, 17 and 18. Therefore doth my Father love me, because I lay down my life, that I might take it again. No man taketh it from me, but I lay it down for myself. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it again. This commandment have I received from my Father. Therefore doth my Father love me, because I lay down my life, that I might take it again. He says, no one takes it from me. This is a voluntary sacrifice. He says, I lay it down of myself. Husbands, we ought not to do things for our wife. I have to do this. I can't believe what God puts on me to do for my wife. No, it's voluntary. We ought to voluntarily spend our lives for our wives. It's a voluntary love. towards her. Romans 4 verse 25. He was delivered for our offenses and was raised again for our justification. He was delivered for our offenses. So he died because of our sins, of our offenses. How many apply that to our wives? Are there times that our wives do things that can cause us pain? Where their mistakes, their disobedience, their lack of subjection might put us in a pickle? You told your wife, listen, You can't go shopping this week. Maybe that's all you tell her. Listen, this week, you can't go shopping. And she's thinking, well, I always go shopping. I always go on this day and get groceries and usually go shopping for the kids on this day. That doesn't make any sense. I want to go anyways. And so you go shopping. and you get what you normally get. Maybe you don't overspend, you just get what you normally get, but there was something maybe your husband didn't tell you, and now big bills come in that can't be paid, and a big problem comes out of that, okay? Whatever it might be, whether it's, who knows, taxes, housing, auto, whatever it might be. And so now there's a big problem that the husband has to bear, has to figure out how to fix this because you didn't listen. Well, as husbands, we could really put our wives on a guilt trip. It would make her feel awful for doing that, for not listening. If you just listen to me, we wouldn't be in this mess. Listen, Jesus was delivered for our offenses. We did far worse things than our wives ever did. And yes, our wives will make mistakes. They'll do foolish things just like we'll do. But as husbands, we are to take the brunt of those things. We are to step in and take that, not let our wife suffer under those things. We're to take those things upon ourselves. Let's see what's next. 1 Timothy 2, verse six. Gave himself a ransom for all to be testified in due time. Okay, so again, I get similar thought. He gave himself a ransom for all to be testified in due time. And then Titus 2, verse 14. who gave himself for us that he might redeem us from all iniquity and purify unto himself a peculiar people zealous of good works. He gave himself for us that he might redeem us from all iniquity and to purify unto himself a peculiar people zealous of good works. Apply that, husbands, to yourself in relation to your wife. The things that, again, going back to things that she does wrong, things that she really messes up. Okay, but you step in there, you take care of the situation, you take care of the hurt, you bear those costs. The purpose of all those things is to what? Is to purify unto yourself a peculiar person. Here's your wife, she's gonna see through all those things. There's no one else out, I don't ever wanna be with but my husband. Look what he's done for me. Look at his love that he's, here's something I messed up on so badly and look how he took care of this. Look how he brought me out of this problem, look how he fixed this in my life and he's gotten us back where we need to be and you're gonna be, what's that gonna do? She's gonna be peculiarly yours, it's no one else's. We ought to give our lives for our wives. This word gave, he gave himself, means to deliver over, to give himself over. And it's interesting, the same word is, and we see, we're gonna look at some scriptures here that tell us how in what way, when did he give himself over? So Mark 14, verse number 10, the word used here in Ephesians is, when it says that he gave himself, used differently here in Mark 14, verse 10, in relation to Judas Iscariot. It says, in Judas Iscariot, one of the 12 went unto the chief priests, to betray him unto them." That word betray is that same word. How did Jesus give himself for us to be betrayed? Jesus betrayed him by the Sanhedrin in Mark 15 verse 1. It says in a straight way, in the morning the chief priests held a consultation with the elders and the scribes and the whole council. and bound Jesus and carried him away and delivered him to Pilate." That word delivered is the same one there. So the Sanhedrin, the council, the chief priests, elders, scribes, the whole council delivered Christ to Pilate. In Luke 23 verse 25, this is speaking about Pilate, it says, unto them him that for sedition and murder was cast into prison. So he asked them who should I release Barabbas or Jesus. They wanted Barabbas so he released unto them him that for sedition and murder was cast into prison whom they had desired but he delivered Jesus to their will. in Mark 15 verse 15. So Pilate, willing to content the people, released Barabbas unto them and delivered Jesus when he had scourged him to be crucified. So in all these different ways, Pilate Delivered Jesus to their will. He delivered them to the soldiers. Delivered Jesus to the soldiers to be crucified. The Sanhedrin delivered Jesus to Pilate. Judas delivered or betrayed him, kind of delivering him over to the Sanhedrin, betraying him. So all these different ways you would say are outside of what Jesus did. Other people did these things. And yet Jesus said earlier, no man takes my life, he says I give it. None of these things could have taken place if Jesus didn't give himself. None of these things would have happened if Jesus himself did not give himself and what a sacrificial love that he had for us. It puts the standard for our love for our wives so far beyond our reach if we're not filled with the spirit. Now we're commanded to love our wives, even as Christ loved the church. That's a command from God. He's not gonna give us a command that we can't obey. Now we can't obey in our own strength. It's absolutely impossible to love like this in our own strength. We can love like this if we're filled with the Spirit, and we allow Him to love through us. So this is a sacrificial love. It's a sanctifying love. We see in verse number 26, It says that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish. A sanctifying love, that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word. The word, word there, washing of water by the word. is the word to reference the spoken word, that which is spoken. So how does God, how does Christ sanctify and cleanse the church with the spoken word? When does that take place? Not a trick question. When he accomplishes 2 Chronicles 7.14. Okay, when he accomplishes 2 Chronicles 7.14. Where does that happen? Where does he sanctify and cleanse the church with the washing of water by the word? preaching and teaching of his word. So when we gather together, when we assemble together, how important it is that we assemble together to hear the preaching and teaching of God's word. That's one way that he shows his love towards us is that through the preaching and teaching of his word, he's faithful to sanctify and cleanse us. and the purpose of it, that he might present it to himself a glory or rankle or any such thing but that it should be holy and without blemish. That's God's purpose as we sit and we hear God's word being taught and preached, he's working that purpose. So it's very important that we show up to hear God's word. Husbands, in what way do we display this signifying love to our wives? How do we sanctify our wife? How do we display this kind of love? In what ways? It is one good way. It can be outside of that as well. of just encouraging our wives through the Word, and blessing them with God's Word, and when they're struggling with things, just encouraging them, listen, this is what God's Word says, what you're doing, how important it is, what you're doing with the kids, and you're struggling with this, but listen, this is what God's Word says, and just continue being faithful, and helping them through the Word of God, teaching them through the Word of God, that they can grow, not just here, but in your home that it can grow under that word. Next we see, it says, satisfying love. It says, so ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth himself, or he that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church. The word nourisheth means to nourish up to maturity, to nurture, to promote, the growth of, okay, when we nourish ourselves we're trying to promote the growth of our bodies to provide the right kind of food that we need. Cherish means a tender love and care, to hold dear, to show and feel affection for, to protect, to care for lovingly. So husbands are to provide that secure, warm, a place for their wives where her needs are being satisfied. What kind of needs would fall under this? I have in parentheses a nest. Do wives need a nest? What do I mean by nest? Guys, do we need a nest? What's that? A place to take care of? What else? What does a nest provide? Okay, so there's security there. She feels safe. She understands that the needs are going to be taken care of. It may be slim, but they're secure. Those needs are being met. So a secure place, not just a secure physical place, but secure in knowing that the finances are going to be taken care of, or the food's going to be taken care of. If something happens, if the economy completely goes down to nothing, she needs to know her husband, No one has jobs anymore. Our money's worth nothing. Maybe we'll have, like they did down in Venezuela, have a thousand percent inflation. Or they'll actually change their money. It was just worthless, the money that they had. Let's say something like that takes place here. Well, what are you going to do? How are you going to make your wife understand, listen, we don't The money we have in the bank right now is worthless. We could have paid off our house, maybe, but now we can buy some bubble gum, maybe, with it. So it's worthless, but this is, don't worry, this is how I'm going to take care of this. So she needs to have those needs satisfied, a safe, secure place under your protection, under your care, and knowing that you're there. just as Christ has done that for us, even as Christ. Let's, in the last few minutes, you look at verses 30 through 33. We are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they too shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself, and the wife see that she reverence her husband." So the relationship between a husband and a wife is more intimate than any other, even between parents and children. Every other relationship ought to be subordinate to the relationship that we have with our wife. This word joined here literally means to unite together, to glue together, to be one. And it's just not a a metaphorical thing here, husbands or wives, you are one. And it's very important you understand that. And we don't take that lightly. Imagine taking a picture of yourself and a picture of your wife and gluing them together, gluing those pictures together. And then deciding later you don't want them together anymore. Okay, so you're gonna pull them apart. What's gonna happen to those pictures? They're gonna be destroyed, they're gonna be worthless. And we can't take it lightly when God is very clear in his word that we're joined together, we are one flesh. We can't take it lightly as the world does that a marriage, we can take it or leave it. Things don't go as I really want them to go, it's no problem. We can dissolve the marriage and just go on. The world has such a light view of marriage. People say, well, the divorce rates are going down. Well, that's because marriages aren't happening. People are just living together. That's why divorce rates are going down. Married, but even those that are getting married, it's amazing the things that you'll find lighthearted, videos, programs online that really diminish the importance of marriage. Here's a couple, they're getting a divorce and they're putting on a show and I'm interviewing them, just making light of everything. Making light of what they've gone through, making light of everything. The husband and wife are sitting there making light of their life together and they're getting a divorce and it means nothing to them. Listen, God's Word is very clear about marriage. We can't take it lightly. A marriage is to be for life. He says, this is a great mystery when I speak concerning Christ and the church. Would Christ ever just get rid of us? I mean, if we take marriage so lightly, apply that to Christ's relationship with us. As the wife is to her husband, so the church is to Christ, and marriage is a reflection of that. And we can't, we can't just neglected. So I have a question here. Why is submission as well as sacrificial purifying and caring love so strongly emphasized in scripture? Why is it emphasized so strongly? Because of the picture here between Christ and the church, your marriage is a symbol of that or a denial of it? And what a sad thing for a Christian couple to have their marriage be an absolute denial, contradiction of what Christ's love is to the church. We need to understand the very practical application of what Paul is putting out here when he's relating marriage to the church and Christ's love for the church and the relationship he has with the church. It's very practical for us in our day-to-day lives with our spouse. Husband, what God commands, He always enables. We can't love our lives in our strength, but only in the grace and power supplied by the dwelling spirit. Try to love your wives to the point of being willing to die for them and see how far you get in your own strength. You won't get very far. And it's the same thing with wives reverencing their husbands. If you do it in your own strength, it's not gonna work. But how, husbands, how much, more will to show unconditional love that Christ has for the church? If you display that to your wife, how much easier would it be for her to be submissive and reverential towards you? And wives, how much more would your husbands love you? How much would you make it easier for them if you had that reverence and submission, submissive spirit as you're to have? In the spirit, right kind of submission. What a difference it would make in our marriages. Or any comments or questions this morning before we close? Brandon. I think it's impossible, just like it's impossible for us to really live the Christian life on our own. It's impossible for us to hold our marriages together. And whether it's finances or love or submission or how you treat it, you can take that for some time. But the Holy Spirit is not providing and you're not following after him. You can fake that for a while, maybe a long while, but eventually there's a breakdown. I'm sure everyone in here knows of Christian homes like that, or professed Christian homes. You kind of wonder afterwards, surely one or both of those couldn't have been Christians in how things went. One couple that I'm very close with, they had everything. From the world's perspective, they had everything. Here's a nice looking couple, nice cars, six figure income. living the life, traveling, all sorts of things going on, and then now they're divorced, you know, horrible situation. You know, the husband denying, you know, even wondering, you know, does God really have a problem with these things? I can be involved in pornography and multiple relationships with women. Does God really have a problem with it? And the wife's struggling to, you know, pay for her apartment now, working as much as she can, trying to supply for her needs. And, well, what a difference. Well, for a long time, they weren't able to put that show on. for years, for 20 some years, they were able to put that show on. But without the Holy Spirit's help, it will fall apart. All right, thank you for your attention. Next week, we'll start into Ephesians 6. So, man, thank you.