Well, you figured it out. So when I decided this morning that I was going to put on, we're headed for a super marriage, I had in mind the Super Bowl. And may I point this out to you? Someone asked me who I thought was going to win. I said someone. I said, it's inevitable. Somebody's going to win. I said, I don't have a dog in this fight. I said, I really don't. I said, my team got cheated. I mean, my team was beaten. And we'll leave it at that. All right. How many of you have ever heard of happy ever after? I mean, growing up I remember this is that we had so many fairy tales that were read to us and all of them ended with, and they lived happily ever after. What the heck does it mean? How many of y'all feel like that you are living in happily ever after? It's not the name of a town. You know, the reality is, is that, you know, for marriage, it is one that I really enjoy a lot about the study of it. And, you know, my son reminded me of a joke that we said one time and, you know, of course it's very secular. But anyway, all the men had died and they were standing in heaven. And Peter looked at all the men and said, now, all you men that were hen-packed, stand over here. And all you men that weren't hen-packed, stand over here. Well, pretty soon every man was over here, but one lone man was over here. And so Peter went down and said, are you sure you're in the right line? He goes, my wife told me to stand here, and I'm going to stand here no matter what. So being henpecked is just one avenue. But may I say this to you, and I'm really firm on this. We are living in dangerous times. We really are living in dangerous times. You know, number one, if we are to be heard correctly about God's plan for marriage, we will have every civil right group under the sun come down upon us. I mean, let's put it this way. You take away this standard, you take away this rock, you take away the rock of God's planning, and suddenly everything else under the sun begins to take place. We think that we've done no harm in allowing others to have their say. But may I point this out to you, is that since we have taken away the foundation of the Word of God, we have opened the gates up for what we call gay marriage. Do you realize that marriage was never intended for anything but between a man and a woman, according to God's Word? And so for them to allow anything else under the sun means that they had to bypass God's Word. So in 1964-65, when the Word of God was removed from our schools, little did they know what was being done at that moment. because of God's plan for marriage with a man and a wife. And many times people say, well, you know, there has been so much wrong that has been done. I'm not talking about the wrong. I'm talking about the right way of handling a marriage. The reality is, is that women, feel like they have been classified as second-class citizens, and so for that reason, it's one to where there is no real standard for a woman's place in the church, a woman's place in life, a man's place on the earth, a man's place in church, and a man's place in life. And yet, if we follow God's plan correctly, then we're going to see what a marriage can be all about. Well, there's a cute little movie that's out right now called Disenchanted. I don't know if you've seen it or not. It's a Disney movie, and it literally is catapulted many years later after the movie Enchanted was brought online. Well, the movie Enchanted was about a cartoon character that came to this world, was brought out of cartoon, and now all the ideologies that the cartoon character was allowed to see, and remember this, is that if you have ever read any of the early cartoon characters of Snow White or Beauty and the Beast or anything else, it was a very simple method. Very simple standard. And now bring them into the real world. Well, the question is, what in the heck is happily ever after? And reality is, that's not what God promised since the fall, there's no such thing as happily ever after. How many of you all, and I need an honesty here, how many of you have already argued with your spouse? And I've already seen Carla saying to Greg, don't you dare raise your hand. Dennis and Ben say, don't you dare raise your hand. I mean, let's put it this way. If we take a look at it, we have all entered into a disagreement or an argument in our marriage. And the disagreements that occur is because there has been some sort of misunderstanding. And many times when we take a look at the misunderstanding, it is one to where it says that you don't know the reality of what I'm going through. Now let's go ahead and let's take a look at this. Turn with me, if you will, to the book of Ephesians, chapter 5. We're going to go down to verse 24. I know a lot of times preachers like to start off with the submissiveness of wives to husbands and husbands and wives to the Lord. But they never go into the submissiveness when it requires them that. So I want to take you a little bit further down into verse 24. And therefore, as we look at that, we'll try to get a better understanding of what it means to have a super marriage. Now look what it says. Therefore, as the church is subject under Christ, so let Ephesians chapter 5, verse 25. Husbands, love your wives even as far as you can get to yourself for it, that he might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish. So love your wives even as far as you can get to yourself for it, and the Lord, the Church. For we are the members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and we believe that his Father and his Son shall be joined unto his wife, and they too shall be one flesh." Where did that come from? Genesis chapter 2 verse 24 that was the created image that God gave to Adam and Eve in the joining of marriage verse 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ in the church Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife. This is addressed to the men love respect that we know it as her husband. Lord we pray now that you will guide us and bless and help us dear father to know what you would have for us even in this day. I thank you Lord for the mercies that you give to us and I pray father that in all things You will just bless us, and that you will guide us, and that you will keep us in all that we say and do. Lord, I'm not an expert on marriage. I know that. But I do know that, Father, that as long as the word of God sits before me, I am to teach and to preach it as you give it. So help me, dear Father, to recall the things that I've studied. Guide and bless now, for in Christ we pray, and amen. I don't know how many of you have ever thought about this, but the Apostle Paul has set this standard in so many ways by writing the letters that he did. In fact, may I point this out to you? The reason that marriages are so important in this world today is found in chapter 6 of the book of Ephesians, verses 1-4. Right, which parents? I want you to think about that for a moment. Which parents are they to follow? One of the hardest aspects that I find in marriages today is because of the breakdown of the family core that children don't even know who to listen to anymore. Look at the rest of it. Marriage they don't know who to honor Which is the first commandment with promise that it may be well with thee and that thou mayest live long on the earth Then it comes to this part fathers Provoke not your children to wrath And what that means is that your law is the law that your children respect it. And they will know that law as well. But bring them up in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord. And that's what we're going to get into today. So as we study this particular passage, I want us to think a little bit about the Ephesian church and what the apostle was writing about as he began to come into this. Let's take our Bibles. I'm holding your place here. Let me grab my little Fancy tab here. Let's go over to the book of Acts chapter 19, and I want to see I want you to see what Paul faced at the Ephesian Church store in the town of Ephesus, as we know. Now, I will tell you, there is a Mediterranean tour where you can go in, even to this day, and see the old town of Ephesus. I don't know how many of y'all know this, but a friend of mine, Brother Bob Baker, and his wife, they went to Ephesus and they did a tour of the city. And what's interesting is that even then, the Greek tour guide that was there said, now this is the ruins of the old town of Ephesus. And later on, as he communicated, he said, now we know that this was the house of John. Wow, isn't that pretty amazing? They even know the location of the house of John through excavations, whatever, and here's what's interesting. He pointed down, he goes, now on down this way is the house of Mary, the mother of Jesus. Showing that there was still a continuation of what the Lord said to John when he said, Said woman behold thy son son behold or near John behold John thy mother and the out of the years is that even in the town of Ephesus Mary was under the the watch care of John in that particular area if you never get an opportunity to see that again That's all right, but if you go down to verse 18 we begin here to see What was the effect of? of the preaching of the gospel in the town of Ephesus. And many that believed came and confessed and showed their deeds. Many of them also, which used curious arts, brought their books together. Curious arts meaning satanic arts, demon arts, wicked arts. They brought their books together and they burned them before all men. By the way, whenever you begin to recognize the evil of Satan, I guarantee you that there's going to be others that are going to crawl out of the woodwork to come after you. And they counted the price of them and found that 50,000 pieces of silver. to Jerusalem, saying, I have been there. I must also see Rome. So he sent Macedonians, two of them, and ministered unto them, Timotheus and Ephratus. But he himself stayed in Asia for a season, remaining in Ephesus. And at the same time, there was no small stir about the way. For a certain man named Demetrius, a silversmith, which made silver shrines for Diana, That's Diana of Ephesus. Brought no small... Now, I want you to get this. They made little statuettes, and those little statuettes were being purchased on the street corner by everybody that said, oh, we've been to the Temple of Diana. Alright? Whom he called together... ...occupation and said, sir, do you know... And when they heard these things, they were saying, they were fooling their asses right out there. began to preach the gospel. And I want you to know this. There was no... ...in the name of Jesus. And after that there began to be such a stir... those that were redeemed, and it was making such an impact that it was destroying the temple of Diana. But let me tell you the rest of the story, if you will. Do you realize that they would have these great orgies to the goddess Diana, who was the goddess of infertility, And they would say, oh, we're just going to go have an orgy tonight and everybody can come. They would have Bacchus feasts. And these feasts were those where people would come in and they would perform all kinds of evil and wickedness. This was very much in the town of this Grecian community. And for Paul to preach this, and he was literally preaching what one man, what one woman, what marriage is all about. So in reality, when we read over here the book of Ephesians, and we read in chapter 5, the plan of God in regarding to how... you begin to get a greater insight to what not only Paul was facing, but also how he was instructing marriages. Now, I want you to see this. First of all, now, I want you to go to verse 20 of chapter 5, and let's go and listen to what Paul was also leading up to. Notice this. Giving thanks always for the things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Now, in reality, whenever there was a marriage that occurred, there had to be a strong relationship, as Paul would give it, to both men and women. Look what it says. Submitting yourselves one another in the fear of God. Here's the thing that I look at more than anything when it comes to marriage. I will counsel with a young couple. And I've used some of my counseling techniques and made mention of them in the last couple of weeks as we've gone in. But more than anything, if I can get the young couple to open up, I will face their fears. And you will too. Probably one of the great individuals that I have watched is called Mark Gungor and his series that he calls Laugh Yourself to a Better Marriage. I had the opportunity to meet Mark Gungor, and I didn't get that opportunity. It passed by quickly. Hopefully, the next opportunity I will do so. But here's the thing, though, that Mark Gungor brought in, is that we have so many misunderstandings when it comes to marriage, we don't know how to handle it. And one of the reasons that he goes to laugh your way to a better marriage, he wants to try to incorporate. Now, there are some people that they don't like the idea of laughter. They will even go to church and they'll say that laughter is not a place for it in church. We should never laugh. And I'm going, what do you mean we should never laugh? You've never seen a platypus in your life? You don't think God has a sense of humor? It looks like it does. It has a wonderful sense of humor. Why are we afraid? Come into our churches We also see so many things that are wrong in our standard. We think that because we're men Every woman should respect us. It doesn't say that at all in front of God Do you realize that we spent? Given how many of you've heard the opposite? Respect is something that is earned, not given. According to the word of God, women, you are to respect your husbands. That's what it says in verse 33. Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife. Not everybody else's wife. Love his wife. And, you know, I love what Brother Randy said, you know, here was this man, he's now up in his age and he's bent over because of scoliosis. He can no longer straighten up his back or whatever. I knew a man whose name was Steve Montgomery. I don't know if he's still amongst the living right now or if he has gone home to be with the Lord. But Steve suffered from a sleeping sickness. And he would be preaching the word of God and suddenly just get quiet. He fell asleep, standing up in the pulpit. That'd be the funniest thing. And someone said, well, should we go wake him up? No, he'll be back. And when Steve would wake up, he'd just carry on like nothing had ever happened. He was just a long pong in between. But that's what the sleeping sickness would do. You don't tell me God doesn't have a sense of humor. But the reality is that when we love someone, we love them in spite of who they are. One of the things that I tell young people, especially when we talk about that beautiful athletic build, and let's all admit this, at one time we were all more athletic. Chris and I have been talking about working out, getting back in shape and things like that, and I enjoyed it when I got in shape. But the reality is that I am fighting the battle. of the bulge, right here. And I find over and over again that unless I keep working at it, I'm going to lose it. And I see all of these advertisements. By the way, here we are in the wintertime, and pretty soon, if you watch TV, you're going to see that there's going to be advertisements for this exercise, and that exercise, and this protein, and that opportunity, and this, that, and the other, and you're going to get better. You know, more than anything, let me ask you, do you love the man, woman, women, do you love your husband as at the beginning? Maybe youth was what appealed to you, but do you love him for what he is trying to do in himself? I look at these pictures of people back in times past, and when I look at those people in times past, it's always the picture of struggle. You ever see the pictures of coal mines and the families that went through coal mines? They would have these little shanties, lots of kids in these shanties, and yet they would all go to church on Sunday. Maybe they went barefoot. Maybe they wore the one dress that they had, the girls did, or maybe the guys wore the one pair of nice pants that they had. But they all were in church. And they would many times walk down barefoot on that old blacktop road or gravel road or whatever it was and they would be singing praises to God. And leading the way was Dad. He had just worked in that coal mine. Little did he know he was probably dying from all the coal dust that he ingested. I watch all these trains go by. Isn't it amazing how many trains are filled every day and they come by with tons and tons and tons and tons of coal. And then there was the mother. Unlike what our women do today, oh, I want a mansion. I want something beautiful. No, no, no. I want a marriage that will succeed. That's respect. Respect is one that I give it to my husband knowing that he's given me his very best. And let me just tell you something, just because we have, and we live in a society where we have nice places and nice homes, I don't begrudge anybody for their nice homes. I am thankful for what I've got, for the skills, for the talents and things like that that God has allowed me to have for this one little period of time in my life. But you know, the reality is, I know what it's like not to be respected. And you know, being a preacher can be very difficult. I would never wish being a pastor upon anyone. Ask John. You know what I'm talking about. Because a pastor is on call 24-7-365. I'm going to share this with you. Many years ago, the church that I ended up pastoring in California, they were holding a Bible conference, and I was pastoring in Burnside, Kentucky. I hadn't been at the church for very long. It was on a Friday night, and someone came and got me, and they said, Brother Prater, there's a call for you in the library. I left, and I went to the library, and Brother Mike Hughes said, Brother Mike, Nancy just passed away. She had an aneurysm. I said, Brother Mike, I'll be right there. He said, No, I'm going to tell you what Nancy would have wanted. She wants you to preach the Word of God. But what she wants, what she would have wanted, we're going to have a praise service and she wants you to lead it. I know she would have wanted that. And I never forgot that. I preached probably one of the hardest messages I ever preached was to that church. But the reality is because she respected the man of God, I received more respect from her than my own home. Respect is something that should be given unless it has been abused. Let me tell you something, men. That is an object of damage. If I love my wife, then it's one to where I want to look at her and say, I love you. And I will find every aspect of what I can see in her. I want you to get this. Now think about this for a moment. In verse 24 says, therefore, as the church is subject under Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands and everything. Now I want you to think about this. Is God good to this church? I'm glad you all nodded your heads up and down, because he has been extremely good to this church. But is he good to this church only because he threatens this church? No, he is good to this church because he loves this church. And when we think about that, I should parallel, in my relationship, what love is, and have Honey, I love you because you don't weigh 500 pounds. That woke up some of you. I love you because you love me and you respect me. You know, the reality is, is when I meet with young couples, I want to ask them that very question, what is it that you want? And not only that, but get this, there is the world's measure of what is even sexually related and what isn't. And I want to be honest, let's be honest with each other. We are afraid of that three-letter word in the pulpit and it's called S-E-X, sex. And the reality is, is that it is the sexual desire that brought us together, but it's not what keeps us together. Reality sets in. And then you receive that from her hand and say, how did you know I wanted this? Or if it's a glass of lemonade or whatever it might be that is refreshing, you are now showing the respect for the great work that is there and the love restored because that is there. Dr. Gary Chapman brought it up this way. He said, we have one bucket that we should always pour on So when I look at it, it's an imaginary bucket, but I pour my love into that bucket. But if two people are not pouring in together in that bucket, that bucket will go dry. What makes a super marriage is not because of some fantasy. What makes it is that we look for ways to make love that much better. Sometimes I think we ought to turn the boob tube off and open the Bible to find out the right way to make it happen. Do you know why the Bible should be the standard? Because there is what lies in the reality of marriage. I want to show this to you. Turn with me to the book of Genesis chapter 3. Genesis chapter 3. And this was God's original order of things that were supposed to happen. Now I want you to get this. In verse 15 is the promise of the Redeemer. Look what it says, and I will put enmity, meaning the enmity between thee, the serpent, and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed, and it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel. In other words, the Redeemer is going to come, and when the Redeemer comes, he will destroy you, Satan. But unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow. And that's just up there right there. Do you realize women face sorrow? And men, it's up to us to remove the sorrow and bring in the joy. Here's the way it happens. A woman is in sorrow because she goes, am I pretty? Mark Gungor brought it up this way. He said, when a woman said, does this dress make me fat? There's not a man alive that knows an answer because there is no answer to that. You know what I'm saying? Well, honey, I love you just the way you are. You just blew it. You're going to get crucified. Well, honey, don't wear that dress. It does kind of make you go, oh, you don't think I'm pretty anymore. There's not a right answer. But the reality is, is that, number one, ladies, if you don't want to know the truth, don't ask the question. Well, I just shot that one to pieces, okay. But notice also this. Sorrow is one to where a woman needs to constantly be told she's pretty. Look what it says. there's also and thy conception. The word and joins these two things together. Sorrow and relationship, conception is the desire. Many times, and I love what Brother Mark Gungor said about this, he goes, when men enjoy the relationship of their wife, the way it starts is this, hey, you awake? That's not relationship. Relationship is to one that you spend the right amount of time with the wife of your youth and let her know that she's loved and she's cared for and that you want to be with her. But wives, you also have to allow your husbands that opportunity with you. I have known so many women that they'll make this husband say, hey, let's go out to eat. No, you just go get something to bring it home. Your husband wasn't hungry. He's trying to get you to enjoy the relationship with him or her. Look what else it says. And so thou shalt bring forth children. The natural relationship of having sexual intercourse is to bring about children. But notice it says, and thy desire shall be to thy husband. There's two connotations there. Number one, to have that desire for him that he would love and respect her. But also, she wants to be above him. That's the other one. Ladies, let me tell you what. The reason that God set the order that he did that a woman is not to be above the husband is because the fact is God said, you are going to make a mistake. And may I point this out to you? The Bible even speaks of silly women led astray. Now there's enough silly men that have been led astray. We don't need that same situation with men. But the reality is, is that when I take a look at it, it is one that if I want to have a strong relationship, I don't tell my wife, you better look into what I'm saying. A loving relationship is to one that to where I think that the plan is that God wants us to communicate and talk to each other. There's the old story that one time a lady was meeting a counselor and she goes, my husband never tells me that he loves me. And the counselor looks over at the man and says, well, what do you have to say about that? Well, I told her 40 years ago I loved her. And if anything changed, I'd let her know. Reality is that you need to constantly reinforce because that's what the woman needs. But not only that, a man needs that respect to understand what is required. Now may I point this out to you? I never saw a disagreement with my mom and dad that they could not overcome the disagreements. I'm going to share something with you. We have a sister by the name of Regina. Between Dennis and Regina in 1967, we were expecting a little brother. We didn't know it was going to be a little brother. We just knew that because back then they didn't do ultrasounds. And we were so excited. But at that same moment, mom was facing a lot of challenges. And quite literally, we lost our brother. Well, when that occurred, mom and dad did not know that they were going to try again and have another baby. And I remember the one time that dad brought me in and said, now, Mike, I'm going to tell you, we're going to announce this a little bit later, but you're going to be a big brother again. Mom's expecting. And watch this. They said, because of the damages, because the doctors are unsure, this is a high, challenging, riskful pregnancy. We don't know if mom's going to be able to carry her or not. And I remember dad telling me, you got to do more. I thought I was doing enough, but no, I got to do more. And pretty soon Greg and Dennis and myself, we were all helping mom any way we could. And then one Wednesday night we were on this side of the church building and I get a tap on my shoulder. Mike, I have to take mom to the hospital. She's losing the baby. I'll never forget it. The fear in my dad's voice, the trouble in my dad's voice, were losing the baby. And there was a little blood trail right up to the car where mom was. They put her on bed rest. You remember this, don't you, Janice? They put mom on bed rest. And I became a pretty good little cook from bed. Mom would say, now, Mike, here's the way you're going to prepare the food. And I could follow orders really well. And I became a pretty good little cook. So did Dennis. So did Greg. And I remember that slowly the time came that she was going to be OK. And the moment that my sister was born was the challenge of our life. The love that my dad showed my mother will never leave me. It was relational. It was caring. It was magnificent. So much so, I'm going to share this with you. Us boys never had air conditioning. And the day that mom was getting ready to bring the baby home, dad put a new air conditioner in the house. I thought, we did all right without air conditioning. And dad said, but this is a little girl that's coming home. There was love. In dad's dying words to Greg, I'm worried about Regina. That's love. You boys will be okay. But I'm worried about my daughter. Let me tell you something. When we want a super marriage, it begins with following the Word of God. And when we stop following the Word of God, it will be passed down to our children. The world wants a God that isn't a God after the Bible. We serve a God. It's after His word. Many years ago the psalm, Stand Up For Jesus, was brought into context. There was a man who walked a stage and he said, I defy... And he made everybody feel like a fool for believing in God. And he said, if anyone wants to define me, I dare them to stand up. One little girl in the balcony, many minutes later, stood up and she goes, stand up. Stand up for Jesus, ye soldiers of the cross. And pretty soon another one stood up. Lift high his royal banner. And then someone else stood up. He must not suffer loss. And before it was done, everybody in that auditorium was standing up. And the man who was trying to define Christ ran out the back door with his tail between his legs. If you want to have a super marriage, then get back to the Word of God. Father, again, I want to thank you for your blessings. I pray, Lord, now that you will guide us and lead us and help us as we conclude in this service. In Jesus' name, amen. Brother Randy.