Well, it's good to be back with you. Surveyed the book of Proverbs of variety different ways. We've spent a lot of time in the poetic early chapters And then dr. Ryan has been leading us through More you might say traditional Parallelistic kind of Proverbs, and I'm gonna do the same thing in the new chapter with us today Let's open up the scripture to Proverbs 13 And we'll just start plowing through this verse by verse as dr. Ryan has been doing and you were in chapter open us in a word of prayer. Gracious Father, we are so thankful to you for your love and your undergirding patience and sovereignty as the seasons come and go and as you grow us and superintend everything in our lives and we thank you and praise you for your goodness and your constancy, your faithfulness, and that you have laid out in your word very plainly what you would have us to know and who you would have us to be and how we are to serve you and commune with you and live lives that are both fulfilling and pleasing to you. We ask that you make us keen to understand what is wise and what is foolish. And it wouldn't just be something we know, but it would be things that we do. and that we would live these things out in a way that's meaningful and useful and that builds your kingdom and that is involved in the saving of souls, that we may gather around your and one that You have made in Your Son. And it's because of Him that we ask these things and praise You, and we ask that You be with us now as we consider Your Word. In Christ's holy name, amen. So let's look at Proverbs 13. Here's another long passage. Good morning. Come in, come in. We've been waiting on you. This is another... chapter that is full of mostly what we call antithetical parallelism. Contrasting statements that are meant to reinforce a central point. Always talking with us about what God says is wise and what God says is foolish. And so many times he demonstrates these things to us and breathes into scripture these things in contrast to show us both sides of something, both in its positive and its negative form. So let's just... move through verse by verse, and I really have been blessed by the conversation that's been going on in the last weeks, and I really enjoy your insights, so let's try to do that today, and I'll try to set a little bit of the context, and then I want to hear your thoughts as well. Proverbs 13.1 says, A wise son hears his father's instruction, but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke. Receiving instruction is a form of faithfulness, so the scripture tells us. Ignoring instruction is a form of rebellion, and natural consequences follow from either. That's what this verse is telling us. You may remember many, many weeks ago when we were going through Proverbs 3, we saw so many wise insights about how wisdom functions. You remember we actually had that long poetic section where wisdom was personified, speaking to us. And in Proverbs 3, 1 and 2, it says, Do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments for length of days and years of life and peace they will add to you." Hearing instruction is not just about submitting to someone, your parent or someone wise or an elder. It's about your life being strengthened and actually lengthening the peace and the time frame of your life. It's wise to receive good instruction at any age. And it's unwise to always prefer your own opinion, and that's at any age. I think young people struggle with preferring their own opinion, and I think elderly people sometimes struggle, sitting around just telling their same old stories over and over like it's just amazing news. And I think people just love the sound of their own voice. And it's unwise to prefer your own opinions, whatever your age is, you should be open to wisdom wherever the Lord brings it to you. I think young adults often strain at the counsel of their parents because understandably young adults desire to assert their own views and their own perspectives, and that's right, and that's natural, and that's good, and there comes a time where that's exactly what's supposed to happen. But when it's done in pride, It can be sinful and it can be self destructive. If I could if I could urge something to you out of this verse, it would be as you are taking up the reins of your own life in this time period when you're becoming your own person. Be easy about arresting that authority from your parents. They're not perfect, neither are you, but taking the authority for your own life over in pride is self-destructive, and that's not the way to do it. Take that upon you lovingly and easy and graciously. Matthew Henry says, there is great hope of those that have a reverence for their parents and are willing to be advised and admonished by them. There is little hope of those that will not so much as hear rebuke with any patience, but scorn to submit to government and scoff at those that deal faithfully with them. How can those men default who will not be told of it? but count those their enemies who do them that kindness. Don't count someone an enemy that's willing to be honest with you and tell you something that you need to know. They may not do it as artfully as you deserve. But truth is truth, and it may come to you in a craggly, scraggly little package, but it's truth nonetheless. See, this verse tells us that the proud spirit does not easily bend. and repeated disregard turns a son into a scoffer, and a scoffer becomes a critic. Mocking and scoffing is usually done to resist correction. Mocking is a refusal to admit wrongdoing, and the mocker never improves their behavior when they stay in that mindset. Derek Kidner says, if you cannot stand home truths from your own father, you are well on the way to becoming insufferable. And I think that's a strong but right statement. The verse says, a wise son hears his father's instruction. Can you think of wise sons in Scripture? Who are some wise sons that the Scripture tells us about? Yes. Tell us about Jonathan. Well, you saw his son, and even though he was good friends with David, he still stood by his father's side, and we just went over Samuel, and he died by his side, even though he loved David as a brother. Yes. Yes. That's a great example. Who are wise sons in Scripture that come to mind? Yes, sir. Samuel, the prophet, even though he wasn't with his family, he was under Eli, right? I think, and he always obeyed completely to him and to his Heavenly Father. Yes, yes. That's a good example. What other wise sons come to your mind? I think of Joseph. Yes. Very wise. Yes. Yes. Probably Abel. Yes. Yes. Tell, what's your thought there? Abel brought an offering that was pleasing to the Lord. And we know that, you know, he probably learned from his father Adam. And then at the contrast to that is Cain, who didn't bring an offering that was pleasing to the Lord. Yes, that's right. That's right. Solomon was a good son to David. Solomon was loved and cherished by God and given this blessing of wisdom. Now Solomon falls into harder, more difficult times, which Scripture records for us. But Solomon was a good son. Joseph, as we've said, was a good son to Jacob. He was a good brother, even though he was betrayed. Seth, born to Adam and Eve after Abel is said to have been a good son. In Genesis 4, 6, it says, to Seth also a son was born and he called his name Enosh. And this is a very interesting note in the scripture. At that time, people began to call upon the name of the Lord. So Seth was a good son who had a good son named Enish, and that's when people began to call on the Lord after the distressing times of Cain and Abel. You know, Noah's sons, Shem, Ham, and Japheth, faithfully helped him build the ark. When all of humanity said, you're a nut, y'all are nuts, they faithfully helped their father build the ark. The great son, our Lord. Jesus was a good son. He obeyed his father. He said that his. his father. And we think of Mark 1, 11, a voice came from heaven. You are my beloved son with whom I am well pleased. And Charles Bridges says, Christ's example may be followed all the way to heaven. That's how good a son he is. Follow him all the way to heaven. He's never done anything that you cannot imitate. that you cannot draw strength from. Who are some unwise sons in scripture that come to mind? Esau. How so? He sold his birthright. Yeah. Yeah. Yes, sir. The prodigal son? Yes. And first of all, which son was prodigal? Both. Yes. And tell me why they were both unwise. Well, one squandered his inheritance. He got it prematurely and spent it all. Yes. And then the second resented his father for forgiving him. Yes. So the coming back of the son reveals the bitterness of the supposed good son. And so I've always wondered, who the Holy Spirit has in mind. We naturally think of the one that went away as the prodigal. They were both prodigal. They both had to be called back. Yes. Yes. Yes. You get all of these instances. in the Old Testament particularly, but throughout Scripture, of people saying, okay, I'm just gonna tell a lie, try to rectify a situation, and it just goes more haywire. Yes, sir? I would say Absalom. He tries to overthrow his father. That seems pretty unwise to me. That's who I had in my notes as well. you know, divisive and divisive towards David. You know, I put down Cain. Obviously, you're not a good son if you kill your brother. The priest Eli's sons, Hophni and Phinehas, they misused the temple sacrifices and created great problems. Proverbs 5, 7, and then 10 through 14 says, and now, O sons, listen to me. and do not depart from the words of my mouth, lest strangers take their fill of your strength and your labors go to the house of a foreigner. And at the end of your life, you groan when your flesh and body are consumed and you say, how I hated discipline and my heart despised reproof. I did not listen to the voice of my teachers or incline my ear to my instructors. I am at the brink of utter ruin in the assembled congregation. I think all that those who love people that are coming behind them, whether they're sons and daughters or friends, is just simply saying, hey, here's what the road ahead is like. Be careful. You can be waylaid out here. The bridge is washed out up here. You gotta be careful. You can't take this curb too high to speed or you'll crash into the wall. It's not that people are trying to control you. They're just trying to tell you about the journey ahead, and likewise, The sad reality of life is when you're young, you can't be told anything. I couldn't, you know. But scripture is always saying, be courageous enough to break that cycle, and it will be to your benefit. And you'll mature quicker, you'll make less mistakes, you'll have more money, you'll have more happiness, less fights, you know, less issues. So before we leave this verse, let me ask this question. What does being a good son or daughter look like in today's context? What is it to you? What do you think it's comprised of to be a good son or daughter, as the scripture calls us to be? Yes. I'd say it's to, despite how they come across or how they phrase I mean, oftentimes they want the best for you. And so many times we look at that, we don't see that. We only see the attitude behind or that's coming out in front. But in reality, they have made mistakes in their previous times before we even knew it, right? And they want to help us avoid those pitfalls. Yeah, that's right. That's good. I think Satan loves to get us fouled up thinking about the medium and not the message. And he loves to say, wow, that had some edge to it. Are you gonna take that? Wow, that can't be right. That had some tone to it. We're fallen people. I hope that your situation in your extended family life or with your family is such that you have gracious parents that when they say or do things that are unusual or maybe fleshly that they say so, but whether or not they are faithful in that regard, God gave them to you as parents, and they are meant to be a guardrail in your life. I'm not saying they do it perfectly. I don't do it perfectly, but they are given to you for that purpose. What are other ways that being a good son and daughter, how does that look? How is that? I think there's a respect and honor owed to your parents more so than obedience and receiving instruction, but also recognizing that a sense of gratitude and stewardship towards what you've been given by your parents and a recognition that you have an obligation not to, you know, you have to be thankful for what they've given you. You have an obligation just not to squander what they've given you. So if they've, are helping you pay for an education, recognize that, hey, I need to go to class and do something with this education. If they are, you know, kind of putting, recognizing that all the investment that is, did I strike a nerve there? No. It wasn't you, you're making a good point. It's good that you struck a nerve. But yeah, just kind of a recognition that I, I have an obligation to do something with everything that I've been given by my parents. And I can't just be lazy with all the gifts that I've received. That is absolutely right. Let me use this analogy. If you go to a bank and you borrow $19,000, and then you try to get all snooty about paying it back, and you start trying to criticize the banker, It's not going to go well for you, okay? Like, I could give you 14 ways that could go wrong for you. Your car, you come out one day and it's hooked up. The guy's, you know, carrying it off. Your house is locked. You can't get in it. Your junk is sitting out on the street. It's exactly gross the same way for your parents to have sacrificed to put you through school, and you're now all condescending and snarky. That's so gross. And again, it's like I said earlier, you're becoming your own person. But until you are standing on your own two feet and in full possession of yourself in every way, you must be gracious and respectful and thankful. Let me give you an insight from on down the road. When you're older and now your parents are aged, they still continue to say and do things, you know, out of their authority as parents and as they get older, want to say this as charitably as I can, that authority dims and that authority gets less and less, what should we say, practical or useful. That particularly becomes the And then you may very gently need to go on and do what needs to be done, but you don't have to argue with them or shame them or correct them at 80 years old. You don't have to do that. You just have to say, well, thank you for that. I really appreciate that you care. And I'm going to really think about that. And then you go do what needs to be done. You're 60 years old, you know. So there's all kinds of ways that you can be respectful and honoring and receive what's said, and you can think about it, and you don't have to bite back. Those are all, those are really good thoughts. What are some more? Ryan's, what are, yes. Yeah, I just have the thought that one other key element of being able to receive instruction, regardless of how old you are, learn, there may be blind spots that we have. I think even just this last week, I spoke with my father at length about a situation I was dealing with, and he had a different perspective, and it was very helpful, actually. But I had to be humble enough not to say, well, I'm X number of years old, and I've got this figured out, and we never arrive until we're on the other side of glory. That's exactly right. Going off what you were saying, one thing I've noticed watching my parents taking care of them as they get older and being there for them when they get towards the end of their life. I've watched my mom take care of my grandfather until he passed, and she's doing that with my grandma now. And my dad is doing that with his parents right now. And it makes me, it's made me think about how I should treat I'm so glad that you're watching that and that you're being affected by that. Caregiving is a very transformative thing. Caregiving forces you to put things into practice, you know, not just in thought. And caregiving is a real act of grace in many times. It's, you know, it can be unrewarding. Yes, ma'am? So I was just thinking about how, you know, when we're young and growing up, our parents pour so much time into us to, you know, instruct us and develop us into who we are. And oftentimes when you get into college and then into your career, all of your time revolves around you and basically furthering yourself. And I think the tendency can be to not spend time with your parents and like give back to them. And I think part of honoring them should be uh giving some of your time back to them and showing them that you love them and continuing to develop your relationship with them and I know that they're like even in our family um like there have been people who like, have kind of just gone off on their own way and don't spend any time with our parents. And I know that really hurts them. And so I think that's just an important thing. Like, they need to know that you're thankful. And just because, you know, you're an adult now doesn't mean they're completely out of your life. Like, you need to give back to them and care for them the way they cared for you. That's really good. There are a series of eureka moments that you're going to have as you get older. Hopefully you have some in your 20s, but you're gonna have them in your 30s and 40s and somewhere in your 30s, after you've used all this energy to distance yourself from your parents, because they're not cool and you are and they don't know anything and you do, it is going to hit you like a bomb. No one loves me like my parents. It may not be perfect, it may have been no one thinks about me and cares about the details of my life like my parents. You don't want to have alienated yourself and be so disaffected from them that it's unnatural trying to re-engage with them. I think that's a very keen insight. And back to Dr. Ryan's point, just because your parents begin to get feeble and they start to say things that don't always make crystal clear sense. I mean, you try going 80 years and make sense every day. You try raising you and then coming out with all your marvels. But don't underestimate those moments of extreme lucidity where life wisdom pops out and they tell you something that you really need to know and only they can really give you because they're your parents. You may not all have this privilege. I had the great privilege of my mother being absolutely lucid until the last few days on earth. And my mom at 89 was blowing my doors off every day with wisdom and insight that I did not have, that I still don't have. So please do not let Satan rob you with this paltry myth, oh, they have outlived their usefulness. Oh no, while they are on earth, God has usefulness. them to you. Yes, sir. you have this urge to repay them. And my mom always says, the only thing we ask for you to do is to do it to your children. And I think that's one of the biggest obligation is the only way we can repay them is to do it to our children because that's what they would want as well. That's right. A good parent just wants you to replant it in the soil of your own life. That's all we want. You don't have to get all caught up in worldly treasures and worldly payback and all that. That's what I was saying about just, they're further up the road and they just want you to get up the road too. I always use the analogy, I've been using this since my early 20s because this is the way it feels in my mind. This is what family life feels like to me. All I want is for my tribe to get across the river safe. That's all I want. And the river, metaphorically, is life. And my tribe is my family, and my church, and the people that I love. And young or old, I just want them to all make it across the river. And that's all your parents are trying to do. I'm not a great raft maker, okay? So my raft may be a little bit busted, and you may be hanging off in the river like, this doesn't do it. I'm doing the best I can on how to tie those knots. I try to find other people, you know, in the tribe to tie the knots and whatnot. But we're just trying to get across the river to heaven. That's all we're trying to do. And you being a good raft maker and having a good plan across the river, that only blesses your parents and it only blesses your children. That's the analogy that's always in my mind. That's what I'm standing here doing with you. I just want you all to get across the river. I don't think any of you are perfect or sinless. I just want you to cross the river with the Lord. That's all. Any other thoughts before we go on? Those are good, good biblical thoughts. Yes, sir. Yes, but I think it's a respectful kind of friendship that has the appropriate deference to them and the humility that Dr. Ryan is talking about. I don't think, you know, you lampoon your parents and yuck it up with them in a way that's, you know, mocky. I think some parents, you know, I'm real jovial and I think some parents are more accessible in that regard than others, but I think friendship with them I think grows as you get older and becomes different, but do y'all agree with that? I think friendship can still have a very parental deference at the same time. Do you, or do you have another perspective on friendship with your parents? No? Okay. Not necessarily. Okay. And thought of it in that way. Yeah. Do you have something in mind of a way that it's not advisable or should be advisable? Well, I'm just asking because I have a, I don't know, I have a really good relationship with my mom and we joke around a lot. Yes. And I always wondered if that's normal. I know her somewhat. I think that is normal. I would say You just don't ever want to misuse that or take advantage of it. You don't want to... Something that she said in confidence through humor or whatever, you don't want to trade that around. So I would just say with a relationship like that, there's a trust and a guardianship. It goes back to what we were saying about as they age, you really do become their guardian just like they were your guardian when you were young and needy. I think we go through stages. Our children are our children. We're guiding them, we're teaching. Then we do reach that point where you're more friendship type thing. And I remember being friends with my mom, but she was still my mom, but then as she aged, she became like the child again in some regards so there are stages to that but yes your parents would consider friendship with you as you grow and mature and become an adult they can have conversations with that's a true blessing yeah and one thing i'll say about that i i was um I was an impish child, I had two mature brothers and I was just always probing and asking the wrong things and I always wanted to know these insights about my parents that were just inappropriate. I was just always asking inappropriate questions. And I came to realize finally after a long immature young adult life that there are things that parents need to keep to themselves for the sanctity of their marriage. And there are things that they need to keep to themselves that are not going to just be doled out in friendship because you have to learn them in your life according to the way God made you. And so, don't think of it as coldness or aloofness that every question you dream up that your parents, you know, don't just engage on. There are some things that are inappropriate for them to engage on. And there are some things that they simply want you to trust the Lord and seek. and find those answers. And I think all of that can be done in the context of friendship. And I hope you all have the possibility of friendship with your parents. And if it is difficult, back to what Dr. Ryan said, humility is very powerful. If you will humble yourself, Even in the face of maybe something that's not fair or wise or good, if you will humble yourself and present yourself as someone who desires a meaningful and healthy relationship, you will be astonished at what the Holy Spirit will do in aiding you and causing that to happen. Humility is always good and it's always powerful. It's really, really meaningful discussion. Any other thoughts? And we'll try to do a couple more verses. Let's look at, I think verses two and three can be considered together. I think the thought process holds through both of those. From the fruit of his mouth, a man eats what is good, but the desire of the treacherous is for violence. Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life. He who opens wide his lips comes to ruin. Speech has a bounty. It has a harvest, it can yield a good crop, it can yield a bad crop. Proverbs 18.21 says, death and life are in the power of the tongue and those who love it will eat its fruits. And Charles Bridges his tongue will pour out godly communication. Whatever be the effects on others, at least his own soul will be warmed, refreshed, and edified. We bless others with faithful sayings of biblical perspectives and spiritual encouragement. But those of ill intent, these verses tell us, reap destruction and division treacherous speech. Christ said in Matthew 12, the good person out of his good treasure brings forth good and the evil person out of his evil treasure brings forth evil. I tell you on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak for by your your words, you will be condemned." And the Lord isn't using justified here in the forensic, salvific sense. He's talking about evidence. You will give an account. You will reckon against the evidence of your life, and it will justify your profession or the treachery of your non-profession. As verse 3 says, we must guard as we would with a fortress or a city. We set a watch. We keep a vigil. We stay alert. We note developing dangers. Psalm 143 says, Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth. Keep watch over the door of my lips. We should speak without provoking. not confuse or offend. Can you think of some biblical examples of speech being destructive and not helpful? James 3. Which says? The tongue is a world of poison or fire. That's right. And it guides like a rudder of a into safe water, that's good. What are other examples of speech that was destructive in scripture? By the way, James 3.6 says, the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life and set on fire by hell. I can't remember if it's Elijah or Elisha, but the kids that make fun of him. Yes. And then they ended up... Did the bears eat him? Yeah. Potiphar's wife lied about Joseph and he got thrown in prison? Yes. Destructive speech, yes. I think of Ananias and Sapphira. Yes. And recount that story for us. Basically, they lied about how much tithe they gave and what were their profits. Yes. Instead of just telling the amount. Yes, that's right. Yeah, boy, I could do a riff on that. Don't lie about what you give. Don't say you're tithing something, which you're not, for prideful purposes. And please don't think you can lie to God about what you're giving Him. I think God is patient and not every circumstance ends like that, but please don't lie about what you give and don't give to others or to God or to yourself. That's not good. Other examples of destructive speech in Scripture that come to your mind? How about Satan tempting Adam and Eve? You know, exactly what he did in the garden is what he will do to you, try to do to you today. Is that what God said that? And you think that's what he meant by that? Let me give you another perspective. Let me give you a nuanced version of what that means. It's very destructive to challenge what God has said and try to turn it into euphemism or soften it or redirect it. Learn to trust God enough to take him at his word. You may not understand it. You may not like it. but learn to say honestly before him, I do not understand the full effect of what you would have me do here, but I trust you. You are right and you are good. Lead me to understand what this means and how this should be worked out in my life. You know the story of Nabal railing against David? Is that familiar to y'all? Nabal is railing against David during this, this actually intercepts what Rick's been talking about. There's Philistine intrigue going on and David is in the area and Nabal starts railing against David and kind of gets up on his radar and endangers his whole family. Sort of mouthing off about David and his wife Abigail intervenes and saves them. And again, I could spend the rest of our time, wise wives and wise women stopping stupidity of men. I mean, it's all over scripture. What would we do without godly women in this world? The world would blow up. Every day it would blow up. Wise women intervening. Moses' wife intervening. God comes to Midian and Moses isn't gonna circumcise us. a son and God comes to me into killing, and his wife intervenes and says, you circumcised that child. Now, any other thoughts there? What are some examples of public speech that's destructive? Speech that you hear in public these days? Oh, just the daily people taking the Lord's name in vain. Yes. Yes, for so many people that, supposedly don't believe in God, they employ his name as an adjective or, you know, with exclamation quite often. Yeah, the Lord's name is misused regularly, and that's destructive. God's name is not something you say when you've hurt your thumb. What's destructive public speech in our day? pretending that they are knowledgeable in all areas. I feel like everyone knows that they think that they know everything, so what they say is true. And that's just so destructive because people believe it. Yeah. Yeah. Y'all, it's okay not to be an expert about everything or portray yourself as an expert about everything. Just know that time will run out on that scam eventually. You just, you know, you want to own what you know and to live within the boundaries of what you understand. It's great to be learning and it's okay if you're in process of learning something. Don't feel that you have to look like a therapist and an entrepreneur and a pastor and all of these things all the time in your public discourse, it's okay to just know what you know and to be in process learning what you know. But that's absolutely true. The kingdom of experts that we live in now, TikTok experts. Any other thoughts? Ephesians 4, 29 and 30 says, let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up as fits the occasion that it may give grace to those who hear. Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God by whom you are sealed for the day of redemption. Thank you for your meaningful discussion today. Mr. Maynard, would you close us in prayer? Heavenly Father, we do thank you for the words of instruction we've heard today as we've talked about advice and wisdom. As we go through life and we'll get advice, I pray that we will, of course, acknowledge and give it its appropriate weight. Advice from those who love us versus advice from those who know us. But all can be a benefit to us. Even bad advice can reinforce our good decision. We pray that we would recognize that. Also, the words that we use, that we would be careful with our speech. Not only what we say, but try to evaluate what will be heard. and modify that to show the truth, but with all the compassion that we can. Again, thank you for this time. I thank you for each one here. I ask that you would bless them in the week ahead, that they would grow in faith, that their actions would serve your people, serve you, and further your kingdom. We ask all this in thy name. Amen. Amen.