Please open your Bibles to Matthew chapter 18. And if you're in the Pew Bible today, you'll find that on page 1047. Nelson Mandela once said something to the effect that unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping it will kill your enemies. Unforgiveness can be described as being like a rock in your shoe. With every step, the rock jams into your heel, causing pain and bruising. Now obviously, the remedy is to just take your shoe off and remove the rock, but you don't. Day after day, you put the same shoe on and the rock remains. The pain goes on, so much so that it begins to affect the way you walk. And now you're compensating. And our physical therapists in the room will tell you that compensating like that is going to place undue stress on other parts of your body. New strains, sprains, and pains will begin popping up. Your back. Your knee. Your hip. And now, you are limping along, crippled and mangled in your stride, all from this little rock of unforgiveness. Now, we're afraid that to forgive will result in injustice. It will let the other person off the hook. But who's the real prisoner here? Unforgiveness is a destroyer. It destroys joy. It destroys marriages. It destroys friendships and relationships between parents and children and siblings. It destroys communities, nations, and churches. But today we want to seek to understand the beauty of forgiveness in order to grasp the insidious nature of unforgiveness and learn how to destroy unforgiveness in our own hearts. Please join me as we read Matthew chapter 18, verses 21 to 35. Matthew 18, 21 to 35, this is God's word. Then Peter came up and said to him, Lord, how often will my brother sin against me and I forgive him? As many as seven times? Jesus said to him, I do not say to you seven times, but 77 times. Therefore, the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servant. When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him 10,000 talents. And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold with his wife and children and all that he had in payment to be made. So the servant fell on his knees imploring him, have patience with me and I will pay you everything. And out of pity for him, The master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt. But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him 100 denarii. And seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, pay what you owe. So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, have patience with me and I will pay you. He refused. and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. Then his master summoned him and said to him, you wicked servant, I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should you not have had mercy on your fellow servant as I had mercy on you? And in anger, His master delivered him to the jailers until he should pay all his debt. So also my heavenly father will do to every one of you if you do not forgive your brother from your heart. Amen. Praise God for his word to us. As we look at our text today, we're gonna organize our time under the following four headings. First, recalibration. Second, mercy extended. Third, mercy spurned. And fourth, destroying unforgiveness. So first heading is recalibration. Conflict is inevitable in human relationships. It may be very small conflict. We have a regular occurrence in our home where Mary reads my mind. So I may be aware that Mary is upstairs and she has a headache. Now, I am a loving and thoughtful husband, and so I grab two Advil and begin filling her water glass because this will bless her. And I can earn some points in the husband of the year competition. Now, inevitably, I don't get to the bottom of the stairs, and Mary calls out, Bri, can you bring some Advil in my water? Seriously? How do you do that? I was just doing that. Oh, but I'm thankful. Yeah, well, doing something you've been asked to do is only worth half the points. This mind reading thing happens so frequently, it's the sole reason I don't have a husband of the year trophy. But in all seriousness, it could be an unkind word. or one that just comes at the wrong time, or simply a misunderstanding. It could also be something more significant, a persistent discourtesy, or a habit that rubs you the wrong way. And there are also relationship-ending conflicts, great violations of trust, unfaithfulness, or abuse. And all of these can happen out in the community, they can happen at your workplace, within a family, or within the church. And uniquely, an offense from a family member or someone in the church often hurts more and can be harder for us to forgive. because we reason that someone who knows us so well or someone who claims to be a Christian, they ought to know better. Well, Jesus knows what a problem this can be. And so he gives instruction on how to deal with conflict in the faith community in chapter 18, verses 15 through 20. He says, if your brother sins, tell him his fault. That may be all that's required. If he won't listen, take a witness or two with you. If he still won't listen, take it to the leaders of the church. If at that point he refuses to repent, he's to be excommunicated, put out of the church membership. And the hope there is that a declaration from the church that he is not living as a Christian and is far from Christ will help him see his need of repentance. And then there can be restoration and that person can be welcomed back in. And this is how we come to our text today. And so Peter's question, how many times, is almost like he's asking, okay, Jesus, what if it works? What if I go to him and he asks for forgiveness? How many times am I supposed to forgive? Seven times? Jesus says not seven, but 77. Some translations here say 70 times seven, 490 times. Now Peter I'm sure thought he was being generous. See there was teaching from some rabbis that said you forgave three times and beyond that you would question the authenticity of the repentance. Peter more than doubled that. But Jesus is recalibrating the way that Peter and the way that we think about forgiveness. Mary and I recently celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary. Thank you. But if Peter's estimation is correct, I have less than one time every two years that my wife should forgive me. With Jesus' 77, I get five times per year. Even if it's 490, I get one every week and a half. It's not enough. Because one of us is eventually going to check off the 78th or the 491st box, and then we'll be coming for revenge. or retaliating because we did all that was required. Whether it's 77 or 490, Jesus isn't giving us a number to reach. His statement is meant to be shocking. He's saying, if you're counting at all, you don't understand mercy. You don't understand forgiveness. Now, before we move forward, I do want to acknowledge that this is a hard teaching. I know that some of you have been severely hurt by others you've been sinned against in serious ways. Some of you have endured sustained abuse or been betrayed by those you trust. And so what I want to make clear is that Jesus' call to forgiveness here does not mean that there are no consequences or that we must allow injustice to continue unabated. This forgiveness you see from verse 35 is from your heart. It means that you are giving up the right for personal vengeance or retaliation And by God's grace, you are releasing hatred and animosity from your heart. It doesn't mean that there won't be legal penalties or church discipline, depending on the issue. It means that you turn it over to God and trust him to be a just judge who will set all things right. The requirement is to forgive from your heart. but it does not mean that you are to be a doormat or put yourself in harm's way, nor does it preclude appropriate boundaries and other consequences. And finally, this is a call for Christians to forgive from their heart, and it is not intended to be wielded as a weapon by an offending party to demand forgiveness. If you face a situation where another Christian persistently refuses to forgive you, then you refer to verses 15 to 20 and proceed humbly. Let's turn to our second heading, mercy extended, and see this amazing beauty of forgiveness. Jesus says here, the kingdom of heaven may be compared. And this is an important point for us to understand in all parables. It's not that every detail here has an exact correlation. Some details are there just for the flow of the story that creates a comparison or an analogy rather than an equation or presenting a photograph. So for example, if you look at our story, God does not need someone to come and tell him what his servant had done like the king in this story did. So rather than try and figure out what every detail points to, we want to try and understand Jesus' intent in telling the parable. So the parable begins with a king who is settling accounts. And one is brought to him who owes 10,000 talents. And you probably have a little footnote in your Bible. It says that a talent is a monetary unit equal to about 20 years wages for a laborer. So we take our calculators out. We have 20 years times 10,000 and we come to the conclusion that he owes 200,000 years wages. Maybe he made the equivalent of 30 to 60,000 in today's figures. So he owes between six and $12 billion. A huge figure. but not the point Jesus is making. You see, a talent is the largest monetary unit of the day. And 10,000 is the largest number that ancient Greek had a word for. If you were to look in the NIV in Revelation 5, it's describing the angels around God's throne. And it says there's 10,000 times 10,000. Why not just say 100 million? It's because 10,000 is the largest number that there's a word for. It's like saying the largest number times the largest number. And so really what Jesus is saying in this parable is something to the effect that this guy owes a bajillion dollars. An impossibly large, unimaginable debt. See, if you start doing math, you come up with a huge figure. Improbable, but not impossible. Jeff Bezos started off making $2.69 an hour at McDonald's. He's now worth over $180 billion. Six to 12 billion is improbable, but not impossible. A bajillion. is just an unimaginably large number, impossible to comprehend. This man has no possible means to pay back his debt. He cannot in any way raise the money, the sale of his life and all his property, even adding his wife and children cannot make the slightest dent in his debt. Even with everything given and his life forfeit, he is still helplessly indebted. And that is the debt owed by every sinner to a holy God. We've rebelled, broken his law, sinned. We've mismanaged the talents and gifts entrusted to us. And when we try and pay it back, I'll be better tomorrow, God. I'll make it up to you. You can't. It's a debt that no matter what we can never pay and one that day by day, even hour by hour only gets larger. As an aside, that should help us to see that any notion of a works righteousness or earning our salvation by being good is utter nonsense. His only hope is to plead for mercy. Be patient and I'll pay it back. Does he get what he asked for? Not exactly. Verse 27 says, and out of pity for him, And that word pity there is the same word that's used often to describe Jesus when he saw the crowds and had compassion for them. It's the same word used to describe the prodigal son's father who had compassion and embraced his son. It's something that comes from deep within and moves to action on behalf of its object. The man asked for time, for forbearance, and the king gave him complete freedom. The entirety of the debt removed. The king freely forgave with no conditions for repayment, no hesitation, just simply an act of pure mercy. Now in the parable, This vast debt is totally removed by just a word from the King. He bears the loss. For us, our debt is removed by the blood of Jesus. That's not explicitly stated in our text today, but that's because we're in Matthew 18 and Jesus' blood won't be shed until chapter 27. What we do see in the text is that this man's life was forfeit And he now has a new life, free from the shackles of debt. And in a similar way, the Christian's life, which is described as being born again, is born out of the forgiveness of God. And so Jesus' description of 77 or 490 times is saying that forgiveness is to be a pattern or a way of life for the Christian whose life was born out of the forgiveness of God. And therefore, to not forgive is to spit in the face of the one who gave you birth. Which brings us to our third heading. Mercy spurned. Having been forgiven such an unimaginable debt, you would expect to see a transformed life of gratitude, full of grace and mercy. But what do we actually see? He went out from the king's presence and found another servant who owed him 100 denarii. There's another footnote. Denarius is a day's wage. So we have 100 days wages, about four months. If we make our calculations, it's 1,600,000th the amount. So imagine someone giving, just gifting to you, a four or five bedroom, 3,500, 4,000 square foot home in a nice community, something around $600,000. And then you go to work, and you see the guy that you lent a dollar to for the vending machine last week, and you grab him by the throat, where's my dollar? It'd be ludicrous. But it's actually worse. See, 100 days wages is not an insignificant sum. We're not dealing with a king and a servant anymore. This is two guys on a level playing field. I don't have 100 days wages just lying around to lend out to a friend. And to have such a debt between equals is significant. It could drive distance into their relationship. Remember, we're talking about forgiveness. So there's been a significant wrong done in a relationship you have. It creates separation. Instead of 100 days wages, maybe say it's 100 miles. This offense has put distance in your relationship, like from here to the Jersey Shore. Compare that to the separation between the first man and the king. If we ask what's 600,000 times that, it's about here to the planet Mercury. But again, that number given for the first man's debt is being expressed as a bajillion dollars. And so we need a bajillion miles. It's the furthest reaches of space. And that is the gulf. That is the chasm between every sinner and God. And so the offense, while significant among equals, in comparison, is like looking at the distance between here and the Jersey Shore from the furthest reaches of space, a space of a hundred miles viewed from a bajillion miles away. It's imperceptible. He begins choking this man, demanding repayment. The second servant pleads for mercy with almost the exact same words as the first servant had used with the king. If this were a movie, you'd expect to see a flashback here. As the second servant's words ring out in his ears, we would see him kneeling, pleading before the king. And when he promised to repay the king, it was ridiculous. There's no way he could keep that. The second servant also asks for time and promises payment. His promise is not ridiculous. It's actually reasonable. So his refusal is not a mistake here or just a lapse in judgment. It is a willful refusal followed by further action of throwing this man in jail. It is completely irrational behavior. But that's how sin is. Are we like this? Do we come to church on Sunday and think, oh, how refreshing that was? Great job, choir. Nice sermon, pastor. Praise the Lord. But then we leave. How long does our mind, how long does our heart linger on what we have done and what we've heard? What's the shelf life on a sermon? How soon are we back to business? Every week we pray together, forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors. Every week you come in here and we tell you, you're a sinner. And Christ has forgiven you. Does that impact you? I'm not just picking on you guys. I'm the one saying it, proclaiming it. And I know that it does not impact me as much as it should. We are right to be shocked by this unforgiving servant's actions. But every time we withhold forgiveness, cling to a grudge, seek revenge, Jesus in this parable is just like the prophet Nathan coming to King David with the story of the rich man stealing the poor man's only sheep. And he's saying, you are the man. It's you. And it's me. The unforgiving servant is brought back in front of the king, and the king says, you wicked servant, I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me, and should you not have had mercy on your fellow servant as I had mercy on you? This could really read, wasn't it necessary? Having been forgiven that massive debt, wasn't it necessary for you to show mercy? Earlier in Matthew chapter seven, Jesus instructs us to enter by the narrow gate. The gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life. Every grudge, every resentment, every refusal to forgive, every sin that we cling to, every commandment of man that we add on to scripture, every one of them is like a duffel bag thrown over our shoulder. All that baggage won't fit through the narrow gate. And to cling to such things is a refusal to enter into the life granted to you by the mercy of the king. In the story, the man is handed over to the jailers, or it could say the torturers, until he should pay it all back. And we've clearly said already, it's not possible. His life is forfeit. He is unfit to live as a free citizen in this king's kingdom. That raises concerns. Is Jesus teaching that we can lose our salvation if we hold a grudge, if we withhold forgiveness? Parables are theological, but no parable presents a complete theology. We said at the beginning that we need to understand Jesus' intent in telling this story. And the point is not to give us a complete theology of salvation. The point is to show us that forgiveness not shown is forgiveness not known. If we refuse to forgive, it betrays that we really do not know God's forgiveness. Because God's forgiveness brings new life. that is transformed and is transforming. So this does not mean that we need to fret that we have lost our salvation every time a bit of resentment surfaces in our heart. Take it to the king. You saw how freely he forgave. This is, however, a warning. that unforgiveness clung to will ultimately destroy you. You can't bring that baggage into the kingdom of heaven. So rather than being destroyed by unforgiveness, we need to know how to destroy unforgiveness in our hearts, and that's our final heading, destroying unforgiveness. Now if we have understood this correctly, That forgiveness not shown is forgiveness not known because God's forgiveness brings a new life that is transformed and transforming. And we can also state that positively. Mercy or forgiveness experienced will produce mercy or forgiveness demonstrated. And that helps us to see how to destroy unforgiveness in our hearts. The order is important. Not forgiveness demonstrated produces forgiveness experienced. That would be us doing something to earn the experience of forgiveness. But forgiveness experienced produces forgiveness demonstrated. God must be the initiator. And so my call to all of you today, whether you have been a Christian for decades or maybe you don't call yourself a Christian, maybe you're seeking answers or skeptical of Christianity as a system. My call to all of you is to experience God's forgiveness today. The best way that I can help you to experience, truly experience God's forgiveness, so that it will have its transforming effect, is to tell you how truly bad you all are. Now let me make clear two things. I know that that word encourage is hanging on the back, on the wall there. And second, I don't think that I'm any better than any one of you. So what I mean is, As long as you think you're pretty good, you'll assume you've received small forgiveness. I'm sure you've all had the experience where you've accidentally bumped into someone. Maybe it's at the grocery store and you're coming to the end of the aisle and someone's coming across, oh, sorry, no worries. Could be some other crowded area. And see, the thing is, I know that I have had that experience numerous times in my life, and I can't remember a single one of them because they had no impact on my life. It was so small and insignificant an event. But if you can begin to wrap your mind around the idea that there is a bajillion mile chasm between you and a holy God, And you realize that in comparison, the gap between you and those who have sinned against you is like from here to the Jersey Shore, or even if you consider the worst people who have ever lived, take your Hitlers, your Pol Pots of the world, even they, say they're from here to Mercury. It's still an imperceptible distance. when viewed from a bajillion miles away. How are you going to build a bajillion mile bridge? You can't. The only thing that can span a bajillion mile chasm is the cross of Christ. That is the forgiveness that God offers to all who cry out for mercy through faith in Christ. And that is the key to destroying unforgiveness in your heart. It is to stop focusing on what others have done to you and instead focus on what Christ has done for you. To bridge the gap. to pay your unimaginable, impossible debt. It's not that it will be easy, and it doesn't come naturally for sinners, but it is Christ-like. And a Christian is called to be like Christ, to reflect the God in whose image we are made. We've experienced his grace and mercy, and we are compelled to show it to others. When we do not, we are not only violating God's command, as his witnesses here on earth, we misrepresent God's own character to the world. We are lying about God, presenting a false God to the world. And so collectively. As a community of the forgiven. We must be a forgiving community. Our king is just. He will bring all things to justice. And trust that to him. And experience the freedom of forgiveness received. And extended. Let's pray. As we pray, I'm going to begin our prayer with Micah 7, 18 and 19. Who is a God like you? Pardoning iniquity and passing over transgression for the remnant of his inheritance. He does not retain his anger forever because he delights in steadfast love. He will again have compassion on us. He will tread our iniquities underfoot. You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea. Lord God, grant us a deeper knowledge of our sin, leading to a deeper repentance, a deeper trust of and appreciation for the forgiveness we have received. Lord, root out of us any grudges, animosity, and refusal to forgive others. May we not only believe the gospel, but live in light of its reality. And so display your mercy and grace to a world in need. The glory of Christ Jesus and the spread of his kingdom, we pray. Amen.