You know, the younger set doesn't know how important these things are. You know, it's like I can remember there was a, I forget the specific nature of it, but it was a long time ago on a show where they would have two characters on there that were older that would say, in my day, you know, we used to march to school two miles in the snow, uphill both ways, and we liked it. Right? This isn't one of those. OK? That's Bill Cosby. OK, there you go. So here, it's the fact that I think that what technology has done for us is there are many benefits. I think my children, for example, have no concept as to what it meant to break out a phone book and a roadmap to find your way someplace. Now it's just like, well, just turn on Siri. Ask Siri where this is. But so there are many benefits. I don't want to vilify technology. But on the other hand, there's so much in terms of what technology does for us that I think is counterproductive from the standpoint that it gives us the opportunity to create virtual everythings. You can put on a virtual reality headset and you can tour the Great Barrier Reef. So why would I need to go to the Great Barrier Reef? You could say, I've seen the Great Barrier Reef. So in that sense, the internet has changed what it means to see. It used to be that I saw this meant that you actually physically saw it. Now it just means, well, I've seen pictures of it. Now if you don't have the money and you don't have the ability to go and see the Great Barrier Reef, okay, well then maybe that's a good alternative. But I think that this same pattern unfolds with the very word friend. It used to be that a friend is someone you knew, that you met with on a regular basis, you talked with them, you shared joys and heartaches together. You know, to quote Randy Newman, the musician, and you younger kids might know it from the Toy Story series, you've got a friend in me. You've got troubles. I've got them too. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you. We stick together and we see it through because you've got a friend in me. In more technical language, Aristotle defined friendship as those who love one another altruistically. In other words, not for personal gain, but for the benefit of each other. But now think of it, people have friends, and I put those in air quotes, on social media. Tens, hundreds, thousands, millions of friends online. But yet, out of the sea of so-called friends that we have, how many of us would be able to pick out some of them from a lineup? Now, maybe in your social media footprint, maybe the majority of your friends are actually people that you know, as my kids would say, dad, IRL, in real life. There's all kinds of words that they use that I'm like, I don't know. I just hear pops and buzzes. I don't know what you're talking about, right? Well, that poses a question for us, and we should ask the question, what does the Bible say about friends? And in particular, what does Solomon, especially here, as we're looking at Proverbs, say about friends? Well, let's first, and this is something that often I think unfolds, and it's unfolded since the outset where Solomon is continually contrasting foolishness with wisdom, folly and wisdom, folly and wisdom. And so the first thing that we would want to look at is to say, what does a foolish friend look like? What does a foolish friend look like? And in fact, what we can say is here in chapter 17, these four verses are arguably the hinge for the chapter, and it turns on the concept of friends. And so here, what does he say in terms of the foolish friend? Well, here's where we can make three observations about the foolish friend. First of all, the foolish friend lacks sense. Verse 16. Why should a fool have money in his hand to buy wisdom when he has no sense? Why should a fool have money in his hand to buy wisdom when he has no sense? Fools often think that everything is for sale. They can buy possessions, they can buy fame, they can buy influence, love, and even friends. All they have to do is shell out enough money. And yet evident from this proverb is that a fool cannot buy good sense. Remember here, the overall context of the book of Proverbs is God's covenant, which is informed by his word. And so in this sense, the word of God says that wisdom is a gift from God. Isaiah 2 verse 13, and we impart this not in, we impart this in words not taught by human wisdom, but taught by the spirit. Sorry, that's not Isaiah. That's first Corinthians. I got it wrong in my notes here. And we impart this words not taught by human wisdom, but taught by the spirit, interpreting spiritual truths to those who are spiritual. To have good sense, to have wisdom is a gift from God. One of my favorite lines out of Isaiah, Isaiah 55 verse one, come everyone who thirsts, come to the waters and he who has no money, come and buy and eat, come and buy wine and milk without money and without price. God in Christ liberally gives us the wisdom of Christ, liberally gives it to us. And so in that sense, a foolish friend thinks, I can buy whatever I want. But he doesn't realize, no, you can't. There are some things that have no price tag on them. There are some things, such as the wisdom of God in Christ, that you can only receive as a gift by God's grace. How does a foolish friend show a lack of sense? Verse 18, one who lacks sense gives a pledge and puts up security in the presence of his neighbor. See, in this case, what Solomon is talking about is that in ancient Israel, you could put up security for someone. In other words, you could take responsibility for another person's debt. But you would only do that if you knew that the person that you were putting up security for had every intention of paying off the debt. So to risk your future on questionable character of a neighbor who might not pay back his debt is foolish. But in this case, the foolish friend makes grand gestures and tries to impress people with the pretensions of wealth. I can remember sometimes in going out with friends, there would always be one or two people that were always trying to impress the others that they were well off. So it's all right, I got the bill. I'm like, are you sure? Yeah, yeah, I got the bill. I often suspected that their credit card bill was getting higher, and that they were trying to buy the respect of the rest of the friends. I think that this is the thing that's going on here, is that the foolish friend lacks sense. He's trying to impress. He's trying to buy the respect of others, and he doesn't realize that without wisdom, he has no sense, and you can't buy wisdom. You can only receive it as a gift from God. A second thing is that a so-called foolish friend thrives on rebelling against God. Verse 19, whoever loves transgression loves strife, but he who makes his door high seeks destruction. To put it bluntly, some people are hell-bent and they get great pleasure at rebelling against God. They're averse to authority and so they look for any and every way to transgress God's law. Think of Haman the Agagite from the book of Esther, a sworn enemy of the people of God and hell-bent on their destruction. To put things a little bit more accessibly, I can remember when I was back in seminary, we would go to the cafeteria. I was on the meal plan, and so a bunch of us would go to the cafeteria to eat lunch. And we talked about three things because all of us were single. And it was always the guys at the table. We talked about girls. We talked about video games. And we talked about theology. And it was probably in the opposite order. We talked more about theology than anything else. And I can remember one of my friends who all of a sudden in the midst of lunch started essentially taking a heretical position I don't remember the specific doctrine, but I remember thinking, no, you cannot believe that. That's heresy. That's really bad. But he kept on persisting. He kept on persisting. And then at the end of lunch, right before we left, he says, oh, I was just kidding. I was just pulling your chain. I wanted to see how worked up you would get. Whoever loves transgression loves strife. I never talked again with that friend about anything serious because I didn't know whether or not he might be pulling my chain or not. The conflict-seeking friend builds his house high and thus the high door, which another way of saying he's not low, he's not humble, instead he's arrogant. When Esther, for example, invited Haman, the agagite, to a feast where she was going to confront him and his murderous treachery, what did Haman think? Oh, the queen is throwing a feast in my honor. A wise man would have said, maybe I'm in trouble. He thought he was the fit company of royalty and he was incensed at Mordecai's lack of respect. Haman was arrogant. He had a high door. And so in this sense, someone who is hell-bent on rebelling against God dwells in a very high house. He tries to elevate his own importance over God's importance, which means he'll elevate himself over his peers. That's the wrong kind of friend, Solomon says. You don't want that kind of a friend. Third, the foolish friend, we can say, ultimately lives for the pleasure of sin. Verse 20, a man of crooked heart does not discover good, and one with a dishonest tongue falls into calamity. See, the person with the crooked heart takes what is good and noble and just and twists it. He twists it. And if he twists what is true, then he'll never discover what is good. Notice how the crooked heart conflicts with how Paul describes the goodness seeking of the wise in Philippians 4.8, where Paul says, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is commendable, think on these things. That's what a godly person does. And when he says, whatever is, he's not saying these things only appear in the scriptures or these things only appear in the church. He's saying, wherever you find it, think on these things. What a contrast that is to the foolish friend, so-called, because he does not discover good and instead with a dishonest tongue falls into calamity. So here Solomon gives us these three things. This is the type of friend you really need to avoid, he says. Now conversely, what does Solomon have to say about the wise friend, a godly friend? You know, well, we can say the three things and we can put them in the opposite order here or in terms of the contrasting image. If the fool lacks sense and tries to buy wisdom, then the wise friend seeks God's wisdom through Christ and the power of the spirit. He recognizes that wisdom and salvation are the gift of God in Christ. So when you're seeking a friend, do you see someone who seeks God's wisdom in Christ? I mean, you know, put it this way, and I always, I put this question to my kids because I want them to think about these things. I want to say, do your friends make you want to be a better Christian? And if they don't, Are you trying to show your friends how to be a better Christian? So does a godly friend seek Christ? Secondly, as we said moments ago, the fool thrives on rebelling against God, whereas the godly friend wants to live a life consecrated unto God, one devoted unto obedience. He doesn't seek to sow the seeds of strife, but instead wants to sow the seeds of peace and unity, and he lives a life of humility before the Lord. Above all else, I think what this means is in contrast to the foolish friend, is the wise friend, the godly friend is marked by the love of God. What does Paul say about love? We famously know this, 1 Corinthians 13, beginning in verse four. Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy. It does not boast. It is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way. It is not irritable or resentful. It does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. That's the nature of a godly friend. And what Paul describes there in 1 Corinthians 13 about love, we can say all of those things of Christ. Christ is love. And so what Solomon is saying by showing here, you want to steer away from this, he's not just saying steer away from this, he's also saying find the opposite. And then thirdly, if the fool lives for the pleasure of sin, then the wise friend lives to please God. When David, for example, sinned against Bathsheba and Uriah the Hittite, when he finally confessed his sin, he says in Psalm 51 verse four, against you and you only have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight. Lord, in the end, I've sinned against you. You know, it's like when my kids, you know, do something wrong and so we talk to them about it. We say, okay, you need to pray, you need to make things right. And so in making things right, we'll say, did you make things right with your sister? Did you make things right with your brother? Okay, good. Now that you've taken care of this, the horizontal, let's take care of the vertical and let's make things right with the Lord. You need to ask the Lord's forgiveness for what you've done. And conversely, my wife and I try to do that ourselves. And so notice, those are the three things that we can say contrast against the foolish friend. That's the godly friend. But notice what El Salomon says here is that love marks the godly friend, as I said. Proverbs 17, 17, a friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. In other words, the contrast here is he's saying There's a sense in which your brother has to stick with you because he's your brother. A friend is a voluntary arrangement. That means that a friend loves at all times, not just in times of good, but even in times of adversity. And so unlike the foolish friend who ultimately only idolatrously loves himself, a godly friend loves at all times. This means that whether in good times, or in bad times, or where there's plenty of money, food, or blessing, or poverty, famine, or adversity, a true friend sticks to you like glue. And this is what I can't help but think. It's not explicit in the text, but to me, it screams out. It screams out to me. A friend loves at all time. Who says this? Solomon says this. Who would have taught him this? David. Who would David have told his son about but Jonathan? First Samuel 18 one, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. When Saul was sinning against David, he didn't allow his relationship with his father, the king of all people, to cause him to abandon David. You would think that if ever there would be political pressure on somebody, it would be in that scenario. You know, you've heard the phrase, who's your daddy? Who is your daddy? The king. I don't like him. You better pick me. And no, what does Jonathan do? 1 Samuel 19, 4, Jonathan spoke well of David to Saul, his father, and said to him, let not the king sin against his servant David, because he has not sinned against you and because his deeds have brought good to you. That's the courage of great faith, being willing to confront the king, who also happens to be your father, and having the courage to say, Dad, you're sinning. And even when David knew that he was in great peril, Jonathan didn't abandon him. First Samuel chapter 20 verses three, David speaking when he says, but truly as the Lord lives and as your soul lives, there is but a step between me and death. Then Jonathan said to David, whatever you will say, I will do for you. These were two friends, a friend loves at all times. A friend loves at all times. You know, I think we see this, for example, with soldiers. There's a book written by Sebastian Younger. He's an author, and he does film documentaries. And he's done a number of documentaries on soldiers in Afghanistan. And he's also written a book, the title of which alludes me at the moment. But what he talks about is that why is it that so often soldiers have such a difficult time reintegrating back into civilian life, especially for soldiers that have been in combat? you And he says that one of the reasons is, is because these soldiers were unified by a purpose, a purpose of fighting for one another. And not only in fighting for one another, but they were taken up right to the edge of death. And they were defending one another saying, I'll lay down my life for you. And I know that you'll be willing to lay down your life to me. They have a bond that in that sense is virtually unbreakable. And then they separate and they go to different parts of the country when they reintegrate back into civilian life and they've lost their brotherhood. And they don't see that kind of unity in their community. They don't, they lack those, that band of brothers, so to speak. And it's because their souls are knit together. The only thing, writes Sebastian Younger, the only thing that makes battle psychologically tolerable among the brotherhood, among soldiers, is you need each other to get by. I think that's what Solomon is talking about. I think in the background there's that close-knit relationship between David and Jonathan. And so this means, I think, that a godly friend is not a fair weather friend. They stick with you through thick and thin, no matter what. Proverbs 18, 24, it's a chapter away, but a man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. There's one of my favorite books, and I can't necessarily commend the book because it's got some spicy things in it, some spicy language. But it's about the Battle of Thermopylae, the 300 Spartans. And it's called The Gates of Fire. And it talks about the Spartan creed. In other words, if you don't know who the Spartans were, imagine the Spartans were like second and third century B.C. Navy SEALs. These were elite warriors, some of the absolute best trained. And in the lore of the Battle of the 300 at Thermopylae, that it was 300 Spartans who held off 10 or 20,000 Persian soldiers at the pass of Thermopylae. And what there's a passage in this book that I think so characterizes, it should characterize the Christian life and the friendship that should mark Christians in the church, the friendship of which Solomon here speaks, that there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother and a friend who loves at all times. And it's the oath that the Spartan warriors would take concerning their shields. And they say this, they would say this, this is my shield. I bear it before me into battle, but it is not mine alone. It protects my brother on my left. It protects my city. I will never let my brother out of its shadow, nor my city out of its shelter. I will die with my shield before me facing the enemy. For the Spartan, you either carried your shield in battle or you were carried out on it because you died, never with your back to the enemy. But what I love about this imagery is that it's the shield. He says, you would think that the shield is for you. But he's like, no, it's for my brother to the left. He hides in the cleft of my shield. He hides there. So it's for my brother and it's for my city. I'm protecting my city. Notice the Spartan warrior does not say, it's for me. Isn't that how the shield of faith should characterize us? Shouldn't we say that, yes, I believe in Jesus Christ, but shouldn't it also be that with the shield of faith, we say, we shield our brother on our left, and we can say our sister on the right? In other words, when they have doubts, we come to them and we say, let me encourage you in the faith. When the Spartan would say, my shield protects my city, can't we say that the shield of faith, because we are friends, we are bound in Christ, can't we and shouldn't we say that my shield of faith protects my church? And I pray for my church and I pray with my church because they are my friends and we are bound together. We are more than brothers, we are more than sisters, we are bound by the blood of Christ. That's the kind of friend that Solomon is talking about. But where do we find the ultimate fulfillment in friendship? Remember, Proverbs is that arrow and it finds the target dead center in Christ. It's Christ who embodies our great friend. John chapter 15 verse 12, this is my commandment that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends, if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing, but I have called you friends. For all that I have heard from my Father, I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you. These things I command you so that you will love one another. Jesus, stunningly, this should leave a slack jaw. That the God of the cosmos three trillion galaxies out there, has condescended in the person of his son, and he has every right to say, you are my servants. But instead he says, you are my friends. And not only are you my friends, but I lay my life down for you. That's an amazing thing. That's the kind of friendship that Solomon is talking about. That's true friendship, not the online friends that we have, not the false friends that only think of themselves. But that is true, cruciform, Christ-shaped friendship that we are willing to lay down our lives for one another. We're willing to stick with one another through thick and thin. And we are willing to die for one another because That's the love that we have received through the friendship of Christ. Moreover, this one's a tough one. Christ undoubtedly still calls us friends in spite of our sin, which means that true friendship can endure sin and wrongs committed against one another. Because even if we sin against one another, it gives us the opportunity to show one another the love of friendship, to say, I forgive you, friend. And here's the depth of friendship. Here's the depth of the friendship of Christ, is so often I've heard this said, well, I'm willing to extend my friend forgiveness, but they have to come and ask me. I have a willing disposition, but unless they ask me, I'm not going to forgive them. And we withhold it. And yet, what did Christ do from the cross? Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they do. Nobody was asking for forgiveness there, and yet Christ was graciously extending it as he hung with nails driven through his hands and his feet, suffering horribly upon the cross. That's the nature of friendship. When you tell your friend who has wronged you, I forgive you. I forgive you. Why? Because this is the forgiveness of Christ's friendship that I have received from him. And if this is the love of my great friend in Christ, then how can I possibly withhold the love of friendship to you and the forgiveness that I'm supposed to give to my friend? And it's only through Christ in the end that we become the friends of God. James 2.23, the scripture was fulfilled that says, Abraham believed God and it was counted to him as righteousness and he was called the friend of God. And so in the end, Only when God shines the light of his grace through his son by the spirit, does he make us friends and does he give us Christ as our friend. Only he gives a heart of humility, one zealous for obedience, a fervent love for God. But not only does the person who is united to Christ love and obey God, but he also loves his brothers and sisters. They are his friends. He does not seek to sow seeds of discord, but rather of unity, of love and peace. And these are the means by which we strengthen the bonds of friendship within the body of Christ. So when you think of godly friendship, ask yourself, am I allowing the world to define what that word means? Or do I want Christ to define what that word means? You should ask yourself, have I surrounded myself with foolish or with godly friends? My grandmother taught me this saying. My mom's Mexican. My grandparents are Mexican. So that's why I'll give it to you. But I don't want to give you, I'm going to speak in tongues, but I will translate. Dime con quien andas y te digo quien eres. Tell me who you are. Tell me who you spend your time with and I'll tell you who you are. So do you have godly friends or foolish friends? I don't know if you've ever witnessed this phenomenon, but sometimes I'll be on a panel where there are a series of chairs, and I'm up there with others, conference speakers or other professors. I'll be sitting there, and if I hold my hands, I'll notice that if I hold my hands, I look over, my colleague's holding his hands, and then this guy's holding his hands. Or if there's one guy sitting there, and I hope everybody can see my mustache socks. But if somebody's got their leg crossed, before you know it, the whole row will have their legs crossed. It's a weird thing. There's a real brain thing going on there, and I don't know the name of it, but it's a real thing. So if I notice that, I'm like, huh. I'm not crossing my legs. I don't wanna, this looks weird. This bothers me, so I'm just gonna, I'm gonna be the odd man out. I'm gonna be the odd man out. I'm wound tight about some things. And so yeah, I'm like, I'm gonna be the odd man out. It's one thing for that to happen when you're talking about body posture, but that's typically and often the way that moral conduct goes. If your friends are doing something, they're ridiculing something, chances are you're gonna join them. Unless God gives you courage to say, nope, I'm not going to engage in that. Have you surrounded yourself with foolish or godly friends? Have you asked yourself, are my friends like Christ? And if they're not, am I being Christ to them? Or are my friends encouraging me to want to be godlier? But most importantly, we always need to ask this question. Is Christ your friend? I hope he is because it's through the friendship of Christ that he not only gives us his love, he not only gives us salvation, but he gives us his very mind so that we can live godly lives and we can foster godly and wise friendships. That's all I've got.