We've got a handout going around that you should get in a moment, but let me pray upon God's blessing upon our time together. We bow one more time. Our heavenly father, we thank you so much for your word, your word that is sufficient for all of life and godliness. And Lord, we thank you for all the young people who are present here. We thank you for the. A great privilege it is to have your word that gives us what we need to know to pursue pure and holy lives before you. I pray that you would help me, that you would help all of us present to understand more fully your truth and the help that you give to us in your word in this important subject. We pray this in Christ's precious and holy name. Amen. You can take your Bibles and turn to Ruth chapter three, if you would. We've been looking at one of the unusual love stories in the Bible, the book of Ruth. Ruth is just, I believe, eight books into the Bible before 1st and 2nd Samuel and Kings and Chronicles. And I'm gonna begin reading this chapter, Ruth chapter three, verse one. This is the word of our God. Then Naomi, her mother-in-law, said to her, My daughter, shall I not seek security for you that it may be well with you? Now is not Boaz our kinsman with whose maids you were? Behold, he windows barley at the threshing floor tonight. Wash yourself therefore and anoint yourself and put on your best clothes and go down to the threshing floor but do not make yourself known to the man until he has finished eating and drinking. It shall be when he lies down you shall notice the place where he lies. You shall go and uncover his feet and lie down and he will tell you what to do." And she said to her, all that you say I will do. So she went down to the threshing floor and did according to all that her mother-in-law had commanded her. If you weren't with us as we studied this in the past, I would encourage you to listen to the first message in the series here, which goes through some of the unusual customs and things that are going on in this passage. But what we've been trying to study with God's help is looking at this passage, looking at this story of how Ruth and Boaz, how God brought them together and how God blessed their relationship. And looking at even this unusual story, which is quite a bit different from our time today, and looking at some of the principles from God's Word that continue through all of time. And in your outline here, there's some introductory observations just to review briefly of what God blessed in Ruth and Boaz's relationship. Last week, we looked especially at the parental honor we see there in Ruth three versus five through six Ruth with her only remaining parent left in Naomi. She did everything that her mother said. She honored her mother. She obeyed Naomi as her mother, so to speak. She did what she said in verse five and six. And really, if you go back to chapter one, if you read this, you see Ruth every step along the way honoring this figure in her life. And in fact, even in verse 17, she says this as she comes back to Ruth and reports what happened. She said in verse 16, she came to her mother-in-law. She said, how did it go, my daughter? And she told her all that the man had done for her. She said, these six measures of barley he gave to me, for he said, do not go to your mother-in-law empty-handed. And he, as this prospective, perhaps future husband, was also honoring the prospective future in-law there, not sending her back empty-handed, but sending her back with a gift. And I'll share with you my own example of when I came to the point where I wanted to marry and ask the hand in marriage of Jamie. Her father had left when she was very young. Her father really had not been in her life and in her picture. That's, of course, the ideal, in God's word, for a godly father to be in the home and growing up with them. And I talked with her mother and secured her mother's blessing first before I did anything. But I also called her father, who lived way over in Indiana. And I called him on the phone, and I asked his blessing for his daughter's hand in marriage. And he was kind of confused as to why I was doing this. He is a little bit hard of hearing and when I said Jamie he thought I said Amy and he had no idea who I was Talking about and I was already nervous and it made it kind of hard but I finally got him to figure out I was talking about his daughter Jamie and That I wanted to ask his blessing and and that really Even though he wasn't a believer, even though he wasn't the godly father in her life that she had grown up with, I wanted to honor that authority. And I believe God honored the honoring of authority there. And actually, there has been some healing in their relationship since then. In fact, they're going to be spending next week with us out here. But the important thing is honoring authority. That's point number one. And the second point that we also have been looking at or that we'll see again is, The relationships in God's word are purposed toward marriage and the language in verse nine where he says, Who are you? And she answers, I am Ruth, your maid. So spread your covering over your maid for you are a kinsman. or a close relative, which is speaking of the relative in that culture could choose to protect someone, to take care of someone in their family. And if he was a relative, he could marry a deceased widow if he was unmarried and he could choose to provide for her in that way. And he says, may you be blessed of the Lord, my daughter, you have shown your last kindness to be better than the first by not going after young man, whether poor or rich. And then he goes on to speak of his intents to be married. But he has to do things by God's word. But this was this was about marriage. This was not about being boyfriend or girlfriend. This was about being married. And I just have a note there in the in the parentheses. I can't find any positive portrayal in scripture of recreational relationships, recreational relationships, meaning just kind of for the fun of it, without any thought of of marriage and also speak in my own example when Jamie and I were at Masters College and I had interest in her. on our first date, our first time together, I shared with her that I didn't want to date just for the sake of dating or how all most of the other friends did at Christian College, but that I was interested in her and I had grown to see some things about her in her character and some things that I really wanted to pursue. This is more of a friendship, but a friendship with the potential of considering whether she might be that there might be a potential for marriage there. And I almost scared her off a little bit and in saying that, and I really didn't know exactly what the best way was to do that, but I wanted to make clear that I was not just in this for what a lot of people are in this for, but that there was a purpose in what we were doing. Thirdly, the third principle we see in this story is the preeminence of the Lord and His blessing. If you look at verse 10, the first thing that Boaz says in this is he's asking the Lord's blessing upon us. He says, May you be blessed of the Lord, my daughter. You have shown your last kindness to be better than the first by not going after young men, whether poor or rich. And we see this throughout the book of Ruth, that the asking of God's blessing, even in their everyday speech. And then fifthly, the principles of God's word need to govern the relationship. The principles of God's word must govern the relationship. We go on and read in verse 12, he says, It is true that I am a kinsman or a close relative. However, there is a kinsman closer than I. Remain this night when morning comes, if he will redeem you good, let him redeem you. But if he does not wish to redeem you, then I will redeem you as the Lord lives. And then when you go to chapter four, verse one. You can read, where Boaz went up to the gate. This is the very next day. He sat down there. Behold, the close relative of whom Boaz spoke, the other kinsmen, was passing by. And he said, turn aside, my friend. Sit down here. And he turned aside and sat down. He took ten men of the elders of the city and said, sit down here. So they sat down. Then he said to the closest relative, Naomi, who has come back from the land of Moab, has to sell the piece of land which belonged to our brother Elimelech. So I thought to inform you, brother, saying, buy it before those who are sitting here. And before the elders of my people, this was his right in that custom. Actually, in the law of Moses, if you will redeem it, redeem it. But if not, tell me that I may know for there is no one but you to redeem it. And I am after you. And so he said, I will redeem it. Then Boaz said, on the day you buy the field from the hand of Naomi, you must also acquire Ruth the Moabitess, the widow of the deceased, in order to raise up the name of the deceased of his inheritance. The closest relatives, and I cannot redeem it for myself because I would jeopardize my own inheritance. Redeem it for yourself. You may have my right of redemption, for I cannot redeem it. Now, this was the custom in former times in Israel concerning the redemption and exchange of land to confirm any matter. A man removed his sandal and gave it to another. And this was the manner of attestation in Israel. This was the appropriate way, according to God's word, to do it. So the closest relatives said to Boaz, buy it for yourself. And he removed the sandal. Then Boaz said to the elders and all the people, you are witnesses today that I have bought from the hand of Naomi all that belong to Elimelech and all that belong to Chilean and Malian. Moreover, I have acquired Ruth the Moabitess, the widow of Malon, to be my wife in order to raise up the name of the deceased on his inheritance so that the name of the deceased will not be cut off from his brothers or from the court of his birthplace. You are witnesses today. And what we see there that is so important is that it was God's word, not just their feelings, not just his desire or their desire to get married. But they had to do things according to the principles of God's word and those principles in regards to a sandal and a kinsman. Some of those things for Old Testament Israel aren't identical to what we see in the New Testament. But the principle of the principles of God's word must govern our relationships is the abiding truth and takeaway that we must take from there. And then the sixth one, this is really going to be our focus tonight, is purity till marriage. If you look at verse 13 of chapter 4, it says, So Boaz took Ruth, and she became his wife, and he went into her. In other words, it's saying now they became intimate together, now they were husband and wife. And the Lord enabled her to conceive, and she gave birth to a son. Notice what the women say. Blessed is the Lord who has not left you without a redeemer today. May his name become famous in Israel. May he also be to you a restorer of life and a sustainer of your old age. Speaking to Naomi, for your daughter-in-law who loves you and is better to you than seven sons. That's someone who honored her mother. She's better to you than seven sons she has given birth to him. And then Naomi, this is the grandmother now of this child, took the child and laid him in her lap and became his nurse. And they again honored her in that way. But these blessings, the greatness of the covenant blessings of marriage are celebrated here and celebrated in other scriptures, saving the blessings of marriage until the covenant commitment. And there's different ways that people seek to apply this. In my brother-in-law, Ethan, and Lisa's example, they both came to the place in their own convictions that they wanted to save their first kiss until they were at the altar, and it was kind of an interesting thing. Ethan was, before he met my sister, he was in a discipleship relationship with me for a couple years. I knew him, and we met, and we talked about all kinds of things. It was kind of a unique situation, and then he got to know my sister and was interested in her, and my parents were overseas, and he asked me what I thought about this, kind of almost playing the role of a father, if you will, before you talk to to my father and what I thought about their relationship. It was kind of an interesting situation there as a brother to have an important role in that and a future brother-in-law who was a brother in Christ and later became my brother-in-law. But I remember talking there at Denny's and he was saying, you know, I've been thinking that maybe it would be good this time, and now that my relationship is more serious with the Lord, I don't really see a need to get involved like a lot of people do. I want to save my first kiss until I get married. What do you think about that?" I said, that's a great idea. In fact, let's not talk about this anymore if we can. That would be great. But it was really a beautiful thing. And looking back, I can honestly say, even though when I was a teenager, I might not have had this mindset, but I am thankful that the first woman that I kissed was my wife, and the only woman I've ever kissed is my wife, Jamie. But I can also say, looking back, that I wish I hadn't kissed her at the stage of our relationship that we did. And honestly, about that, It makes things more difficult the earlier you do that. And if you're kissing someone perhaps one or two years before you can get married, there's a lot of things in regards to wisdom that we could talk about there. But I just bring that up that there's different applications people will have of this principle, but I think this principle is critical. Saving the blessings of marriage until there's the commitment there. I've given you some resources for a further study. These are some audio resources, and these notes are already on the website, but if you go to these and you click on them, each of these have hyperlinks to some online messages you can listen to. One of them was a great message by Rick Gregory, a fellow pastor on dating courting. Really, it was focused on purity for young adults at the last men's conference we had. Rick Holland, also a couple good messages there. Mitch Lusch, one of the most helpful series that I listen to. That was done at Trinity Baptist Church in New Jersey about 11 years ago. Jim Neuheiser. I had the privilege of actually talking with him in person on this subject. Recently he taught a class at Cornerstone Seminary and was just a good guy. A lot of good perspective I gleaned from him. Steve Hernandez also had a privilege of chatting with him this week. He's done a good series there at Community Bible Church in Vallejo. Jeffrey Smith, another pastor there. And then some print subjects here. These are some Some books on the subject in print that are helpful contributions to the subject. Not everything that has the word dating or courtship in it on Amazon is helpful. In fact, one of the ones that will come up is The Courtship of Princess Leia. But that one was not quite. If you know anything about Han Solo and Princess Leia, it wasn't the most biblical relationship. But Elizabeth Elliot, one of the classic books, Passion and Purity, is one that I would commend to you. Learning to bring your love life under Christ's control. And she shares some wonderful stories and things that she learned in her relationship with Jim Elliot. Just one of the wonderful couples that God used, even though her husband died at a young age. Just a wonderful blessing that God has used in their life. Jamie has heard her speak in person. Josh Harris, the book I Kissed Dating Goodbye, A New Attitude Towards Romance and Relationships. Let me just read maybe a sample of a couple of these. He writes, what I hope you would see is that avoiding lawlessness and legalism is far more important than whether we use the word dating or the word courtship. I happen to like the term courtship. It's old-fashioned, but it evokes romance and chivalry. I use the term to describe not a set of rules, but that special season in a romance where a man and woman are seriously weighing the possibility of marriage. I think it's helpful to distinguish between undefined and directionless romances, what I said goodbye to, and a romantic relationship that is purposefully headed towards marriage, at least as a possibility. But the fact that I use the word courtship to describe my relationship with Shannon doesn't make me holier than people who don't. None of us should allow a debate over words to distract us from what really matters in relationships. Dating versus courtship isn't the point. I've known serial quarters who lived like the devil and saintly daters guided by integrity and holiness. In and of themselves, the terms they used to describe their relationships were not that important. The way they lived was what was really important. Terms don't define our lives. Our lives define our terms. In another place, he said, I've come to realize that I have no business asking for a girl's heart and affections exclusively if I'm not ready to consider marriage. Until I can do that, I'd only be using that girl to meet my short-term needs, not seeking to bless her for the long term. I think he wrote this when he was about 19 or 20. A mature perspective for someone that age. Would I enjoy having a girlfriend right now? You bet. but I wouldn't truly be loving her and putting her interests first. True love isn't just expressed in passionately whispered words or an intimate kiss or an embrace. Before two people are married, love is expressed in self-control, patience, even words left unsaid. I think there's some wisdom we can learn from someone quite a bit younger than a lot of us in this room, at least. His second book, Boy Meets Girl, Say Hello to Courtship, is written a number of years later. And I want to read you a couple samples from that as the Lord continued to refine his thinking. The definition he gives for the type of relationship he's encouraging is a relationship between a man and a woman who are actively and intentionally together to consider marriage. And it draws on principles about how to genuinely love others the way the Bible speaks of. the priority of sexual purity and our need for the wisdom and perspective that comes from community. You might not like the term courtship. That's okay. There's nothing sacred about it. Ultimately, the term we use for relationships doesn't matter as much as how we live. And let me give you one more sampling. He's got a little section here on when you're ready to consider moving to this level or to a relationship. Are you able to be patient? It's not wrong to desire marriage, but what would you say your greatest motive is for starting a relationship? He says, can you set a clear course for the relationship? I remember hearing a 13-year-old kid stop me at a conference. He was holding his girlfriend's hand, and he said, we stopped dating. He says, now we're courting. He says, I smiled at his misguided concept. Of course, if you can't have a purposeful relationship or set a clear goal for it when marriage is so far off, and the same principle applies to a 30-year-old who isn't really sure he wants to get married. If you're not willing for a relationship to succeed and progress in a reasonable period of time, you probably shouldn't be starting it. And one other place, he says, some of the questions for someone to consider a man in particular, as he as he prays about and talks with those godly people in his life and questions that he wrote down as a young man, another young man wrote these down. Am I prepared to lead a wife spiritually and serve her in every way? Am I growing in my character and godliness? To whom and for whom am I accountable? How am I involved in the church? What are my gifts and my ministry areas? What are hers? Are my motives for pursuing this selfish and worldly or are they to honor God more together? Am I able to provide financially? And what do my pastors and parents have to say? This is another young person evaluating things in light of God's Word. And there's some other helpful things there. Jim West is another guy I had a chance to speak with this month. He's written another book there. Douglas Wilson also has written a book. Rick Holland has written a book called, actually a chapter in a book called The Guided Path. Rick Phillips, I also got to see him this month down in Sacramento. He's written a book called Holding Hands and holding hearts, and one of the insights from his book that's different than some of the other perspectives on dating. His book is written more towards the older, post-college age singles. He ministered to hundreds of those in his ministry at 10th Presbyterian there in Philadelphia. One of the things, I'll just give you a sample from his book, is that I hadn't heard this insight before, talking about idolatry in our hearts. He says different people have different idols. As we've seen in Genesis 3 in his book, the woman's idols often will be relationship oriented. She desires to possess a guy as the key to her happiness. And similarly, men, as Genesis 3 in their study that we've looked at, will often be motivated by idols eternal to the relationship, money or external money, power and excitement, whatever they are. The point is that idols must be served and the dating or marriage partner must be coerced into contributing to that service. This, by the way, is often what the world means by compatibility. The key to a happy relationship, the experts tell us, is to find a companion who worships the same idols as you do. or whose idols are at least not in conflict with your own. This is a fool's paradise for sin and idolatry never truly produce harmony but always strive. Some interesting thoughts there different take than a lot of people take but some things I would commend you to consider some of those things. There's also some excellent online articles by Capitol Hill Baptist Church where Mark Dever ministers. But I want to just review since some of you weren't here when we went through this before what we It's important to define terms, and the definitions of terms that we have here in your notes that we went through before was recreational dating, not just the word dating, but recreational dating is a term you'll find in some of these books. This is my definition of how I understand this to be. 20th century Western cultural, casual, or recreational going out generally as follows. Often begins among young, teen, school children, nowhere near marriage. And I would suggest that if you're a guy and at this point, your only transportation is a skateboard, then you fit in this category, or a bicycle, or if your major goal in life is to get to the highest level of the Warcraft video game, even if you're not a teenager. Anyways, we'll move on from there. Nowhere near marriage and with no intent of marriage up to 10 years or so before the average marrying age, which I understand from a recent as recent as the end of last year is 26 for girls and 28 for guys is the average median marrying age in America. It's a slightly lower for for Christians, but not considerably more. These relationships begin for fun and for feelings and for fulfilling youth's desires based largely on outward attraction. And if interest is mutual, the two may quickly skip friendship stage to boyfriend-girlfriend stage or going steady relationships. And I apologize, young people, if there's new terms I'm not up with. But relationships which consume life and energies and focus and time, taking him or her away from family, serving, or church, often Idolatrously and one of the passages we looked at before is Colossians 3 5 speaks of inordinate affection or covetousness Which is idolatry the New Testament defines idolatry is including inordinate or imbalanced affections and coveting things that we are not yet to have typically young adult to Adulthood journey includes a series of romantic relationships with someone else's future spouse since most of these don't and and in marriage, and I want you to turn on this point to First Corinthians, chapter six. We're going to look at a few New Testament passages. But the pattern that many get into is you you get involved in these relationships and and then when you're done with them or that loving feeling wears off, you you dump them and move on. And many have asked, is this really practice for marriage or practice for divorce? But there's something else also more fundamental about especially relationships that become physical. First Corinthians, chapter six, verse 18. This is what the word of God says, flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that, here's the key, you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price. Therefore, glorify God in your body. It's not only that the other person's body is not yours, your own body is not yours. It is God's. It has been paid for by the lifeblood, by the veins of our Redeemer who died on Calvary, bled, who paid his very own life for your body, and it is now the temple of his Holy Spirit. You are not your own, but there comes a time where you are in a special way possessed by someone. Keep reading in chapter 7, concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman, but because of immorality, each man is to have his own wife and each wife is to have her own husband. The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise, also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. And you see, the body of a man or a woman belongs to his spouse. And if he or she is not married yet, it belongs to the Lord and it is to be reserved for and to belong to a future. spouse. And I don't know if you've thought about it that way, but when you think in terms of someone else's spouse, what would be appropriate to do with someone else's spouse? Because in most cases, especially in the teen years, any type of relationship you're having in most cases is with someone else's spouse. That's a concept I know I didn't think of much when I was young, but that God's word should alert our conscience to. I'll keep reading here. varying levels of emotional awakening and stirring of passions and feelings and giving of hearts and sharing intimate expressions verbally and eventually often physically kissing, making out, caressing, sometimes even further sexually with consequences including significant emotional and spiritual toll upon the young people when relationships come to an end, almost like a mini divorce without the paperwork. Frequently seeks and savors some of the privileges of marriage without its covenant commitment or Agape love that dies to self, this is key, that true love dies to self rather than pleases self and seeks the other's best interest. Ephesians 5, 25 says true love is where Christ loved the church and gave himself up for the church to make the church more holy for the best interest of the church and that is what biblical love is. Much of the modern world's dating is guided mostly by self or youth cultural norms and expectations, with little to no parental involvement, insight, oversight, approval, or even advice sought early and during the relationship, though at least meeting and minimally interacting with the father and family may occur, often after the couple already has progressed romantically, emotionally, perhaps even physically to some degree. And then eventually, when or if a young man settles down, and the problem is this is taking longer and longer in our society for men to grow up. But this man has grown up now. He's not the stereotypical man who's been out of high school for 10 plus years, is still living with mommy and daddy, and still wearing Star Wars pajamas, as someone said, and all those things, spending three hours a day playing video games. That's the average in America for an 18 to 34-year-old male, by the way. 31-year-olds are the dominant purchasers at video game stores. But eventually, when or if a young man settles down to commit to a serious girlfriend and is at or near marriageable age in the next stage of life, he prepares to propose and a girl's parents finally at this point may be informed of his intentions at the end of the process, asking at least for token approval. with little to no input from godly mentors or church leaders sought previously. As the couple makes arrangements for the wedding, final plans include finding a pastor so they can get married, leaving a little time for premarital counseling as a formality since some pastors require it to perform a wedding. And my question is, isn't there a better way? I hope all of you in this room can see, at least in many of these things, that there is a better way. This is what I am arguing or proposing, which I trust is not radical. A mature relationship of man and woman, both under the headship of Christ and the daughter in an ideal situation under the loving headship, which means provision, protection of her father until given by him at a wedding, at which point her covenant headship and loving leadership is transferred to her husband. And these are two people who are passionately in love above all else with God's son. That is the most important thing. And they are parentally involved among God's people. We covered this the last couple of weeks. And they're purposely considering marriage for God's glory. And they're principle-driven by God's word. And purity-guarding for God's best. And that's what we're going to focus on. And I've got some of these scriptures in your notes here. And the ones at the bottom we'll look at. But Song of Solomon, it says twice. this command here. Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field, do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires. And some of the versions are a little bit different, but what this means in the study Bibles and commentaries I looked up is stimulating or stirring up what God intended to be fulfilled at the proper time, which is later in marriage. In fact, Song of Solomon 3 verse 5 comes right before Song of Solomon 4, which I believe refers to the poetic consummation of their marriage, waiting for that time. Romans 13, verse 13 says, let us behave properly as in the day, which is an idea of the things that would be appropriate in daylight, not in carousing, not in sexual promiscuity and not just promiscuity, but sensuality, but put on, this is the key, put on the Lord Jesus Christ. You've got to do this first. Put on the Lord Jesus Christ into your thinking and into your life as the Lord of your life, and then make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lust. And I can't give you 20 different ways that you can For every single person how we can make sure we make no provision for the flesh But I would encourage you and encourage even you Young people to to come up with even some things and maybe even write them down as the ways that you want to make sure you make No provision for the flesh and perhaps even give that to another mature believer to hold you accountable This is an important thing that we make no provision for the flesh and that we don't decide what types of provisions we're gonna Make later on in the heat of the moment, but that we do them what we are thinking righteously Let us behave properly, he says. 2 Peter 1 verse 3 says, seeing that God's divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness. God's divine power is more powerful than the passions that we have and the hormones and the feelings that we have. God has given us everything we need if we will turn to him through the true knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and excellence. By these he has granted to us his precious and magnificent promises. so that by them you may become partakers of the divine nature." And here's the key, this is what it is to be a Christian, having escaped the corruption that is in the world by lust. That should be true of us as believers, that we have escaped the corruption that is in the world by lust. We're not marked by the corruption that's in the world by lust, that we have escaped from that and we are still escaping from that, if need be. Romans 12, therefore I urge you brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God. This is your spiritual act of worship. This is the kind of worship God wants now in the New Testament times. Do not, this is key, do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world. We're not just to take the patterns of this world, the way everyone does it, the way even a lot of Christians do it, the way kids at the high school do it, the way people on TV do it, the way whatever. We are to not conform to whatever pattern that is, but we are to be, as Christians, transformed by the renewing of our minds. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is, and that is His good, pleasing, Perfect will the the pleasure comes from God's will it is a goodwill. It is a pleasing will it is a Perfect will and there are so many benefits when we follow God's will transform by the renewing of our minds We don't have time to look at all the phrases in each of these verses, but another key scripture is first Thessalonians 4 If you want to know what God's will is this is God's will for everyone here. I It's God's will that you should be sanctified, that you should be holy, that you should be set apart, is the word, set apart from the rest of the world, that you should avoid sexual immorality, that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen who do not know God. The unbelievers, the way so many in the world do, we're not to be like that, in passionate lust. And verse six says, in this matter, no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. And that would certainly apply to our physical relationships. The Lord will punish men for all such sins as we have already told you and warned you. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man. This is not rejecting me if you reject this. But you reject God who gives you his Holy Spirit. This is God's will, beloved, that we would be sanctified, that we would be holy, that we would be avoiding fleeing from all sensuality and immorality, learning to control self-control in a way that honors God and that is holy. I want you to turn now to Proverbs chapter four. and looking at this last point at the responsibility of parents as believers, and we'll look at the responsibility of other believers and the single believer. In God's law, there's a scripture, we won't take time to turn there though, but the father was held responsible for the purity of a daughter living in his house. In Proverbs 4, we see the role of the father in teaching a son. Also, Proverbs 4, Verse 20 says, My son. Give attention to my words. And this is not just written, of course, by Solomon to his son, but is written to all of us, sons and daughters and young people and older people, give attention to my words, incline your ear to my sayings, do not let them depart from your sight. Keep them in the midst of your heart, for they are life to those who find them and health to all their body. Watch over your heart with all diligence or from it flow the springs. of life. This goes far deeper than safe sex, as our world would say, or even abstinence, as a lot of Christians would say. This is guarding the purity of your heart, guarding your heart and what you give away from your heart, guarding your heart and how it thinks, because everything flows out of your heart in scripture. So we are to guard the heart and then we're also to guard the eyes. Verse 25, let your eyes look directly ahead. Let your gaze be fixed straight in front of you. Watch the path of your feet. and all your ways will be established. Do not turn to the right nor to the left. Turn away from evil. We're to guard our hearts and our eyes and our steps. Chapter 5. My son, give attention to my wisdom. Incline your ear to my understanding that you may observe discretion and your lips may reserve knowledge. For the lips of an adulteress drip honey and smoother than oil is her speech. But in the end, she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. go down to death. We're to watch our steps, our steps take hold of Sheol, the grave. And we're to watch our, those are our ears also in verses one through four and our steps. And he goes on to talk about in the rest of the verses, why we are not to follow, why we are to guard our steps. If you turn to chapter six, we see that both a father and mother's wisdom and teaching is to protect their sons and their daughters from impurity and its consequences. Chapter six, verse 20. My son observed the commandment of your father. And do not forsake the teaching of your mother, bind them continually on your heart, tie them around your neck. When you walk about, they will guide you. When you sleep, they will watch over you. When you awake, they will talk to you. And this is the opposite of what so many would want us to do in the world, that we need to get that yoke off of us. We need to get free from our parents and what they have to say. God's Word says the opposite. Observe it. Bind it continually. Hold it fast. Hold on to it. It will guide you. When you sleep, they will watch over you. When you awake, they will talk to you. The commandment is a lamp and the teaching is light and reproofs for discipline are the way of life to keep you from the evil woman, from the wrong type of person. Also in Proverbs 31, we won't take time to go through that, but we have a mother speaking to her son on what to look for in a wife and by implication to young women, what type of character to be cultivating because it's far more important to be seeking to be the right kind of person than finding the right person. We need to start by being the right person, cultivating our character. before God. That's the responsibility of parents and we looked at that also last week so we'll move on to the responsibility of other believers and Titus chapter 2 we looked at you could study that passage but it models how older believers are to instruct the younger of the same gender and purity and self-control and conduct and really the whole church is to honor marriage. Hebrews 13 verse 4 says the marriage bed is to be held in honor by all adulterers and all sexual sinners will be judged it promises there. The church is to hold its own accountable to God's standard. First Corinthians 5 talks about when there's immorality known in its midst, what the church should do. The responsibility of the single believer. I would say to you, if you're single here this morning, your responsibility in scripture is to follow these scriptures and to flee as far and as fast as you can. You want to turn to Second Timothy 2.22. It says to flee from youthful lust. I'm going to read this scripture because it's It's not just fleeing from it, but there's a second half to it. But flee from youthful lust and pursue righteousness. So it's not you can't just try and flee. I'm just I'm just going to try and resist. I'm going to try and not sin. It says you have to flee from youthful lust and pursue. So you're fleeing from and you're running to righteousness, faith, love and peace. I think this is key with those who call on the Lord. from a pure heart. When you're seeking friends, you're seeking those that you want to have an influence in your life. You want them to be godly influences. You want them to be those who are pursuing these things and that you can glean from these things and seek their accountability from so that you can be more useful and pleasing to the Lord, as verse 21 says. My voice is almost out, which is good because we're at the last point. Some focus on abstinence, but Christians should focus on purity. not just purity from intercourse, but from intimate touching. And I'm not going to take the time to look through all these, but it's interesting in Genesis 26, eight through nine, they see, I think it's Isaac and he is caressing Rebecca and they say to him why is it you didn't tell us she was your wife? I mean they could just tell that his caressing of her was something that was only appropriate for a husband and wife and he had not told them because he was Afraid but you can read about that story and there's clearly a touching there that is only for husband and wife also in Genesis 20 in verse 6 Ruth chapter 2 verse 9 also uses it that way in Proverbs 6 verse 29 says that a man who touches his neighbor's wife will not go unpunished and And that could apply to a future wife of someone else. You are not to touch a woman who is not your wife. 1 Corinthians 7 also says the same thing. It's good for a man not to touch a woman, but then it goes on to say, because of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife. And so it's very clear that this is reserved for the context of marriage, sensual or sexual touching, and really anything stimulating lust. Matthew 5, Jesus talks about it. It's not just adultery, but anything that stimulates lust. And I like how the Westminster Larger Catechism describes mental adultery. It includes all unclean imaginations and thoughts and purposes and affections, all corrupt or filthy communications or listening thereunto. I think we could add in our day or texting, immodest apparel, undue delay of marriage, idleness, unchaste company, lascivious songs, books, pictures, dancing, and all other provocation to, or acts of uncleanness, either in ourselves or others." And the whole goal of this is for our best, is for our good. It's to preserve and celebrate the great gift that God gave to Adam and Eve before sin was in the world. The beautiful picture of a pure bride given to a pure man that we see in the second chapter of the Bible, that beautiful picture. And we see this chapter that this is really, in Ephesians 5, what marriage is all about. That God Himself is presenting a pure bride to His Son and it's to be a picture of of what marriage is all about in our marriages, that we are to do the same thing as a picture of an eternal reality. It's spelled out there in 2 Corinthians 11 to that we would be a chaste and pure church presented to the Lord. And at the end of turn to Revelation 21, I want you to see this picture and how it ends. How the Bible ends with the same second to last chapter of the same image that the second chapter of the Bible began with Genesis two and Revelation 21. 9 through 11, it says this, then one of the seven angels who had the seven bowls full of the seven last plagues came and spoke with me saying, come here, I will show you the bride, the wife of the lamb. And he carried me away in the spirit to a great and high mountain and showed me the holy city, Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, having the glory of God. That's ultimately what this is all to point to. Her brilliance was like a very costly stone as a stone of crystal clear jasper. And he's presenting the image here of the bride of God metaphoric language here the bride of God the perfect and glorious and beautiful bride in Ephesians says that is God had this purpose to present this pure Bride to his son to present her pure and holy that that is really what marriage is all about He says this is a profound mystery Marriage, but I'm speaking in reference to Christ and the church. There is a far greater Reality at stake there is something far greater at stake here and that is the glory of God and that in our relationships, in our marriages, that we would shine forth and radiate forth the unheralded and the unprecedented and the unseen glory to the rest of our world so that they would see that glory and they would want to be a part of what makes us able to do that. What a wonderful privilege we have to seek to hold that forth to our world and I pray that God would help us to do that. Those that are married and will be married in the future, let us pray. Our gracious God, we thank you for your gracious word, and we thank you for the beautiful imagery and the picture in your word of where history began with you as God the Father presenting this perfect bride to the first Adam and how at the end of time you will be presenting a perfect bride, a bride that is made perfect to the second Adam, Jesus Christ, and how this is something far greater and far more important than our our lives even and our desires and all the things that we are involved in. There is something that we are to radiate that is eternal, that is not just of earthly custom, but of eternal covenant love. And Lord, I feel I've only begun to understand that, but I pray that you would help us all to understand that more and to live more holy and more pure so that on that day we rejoice as well. We pray this in Christ's name. Amen. Lord bless you all.