Well, it's a delight to be with you today. Our church is Grace Baptist Church in Essex, Ontario, Canada, and I want to bring you warm Christian greetings from all of your brothers and sisters in Christ there. It's been a joy for me to reconnect with your pastor. I met him about eight or nine years ago, and then we sort of lost track of one another. And then this past year, I think we've been together at meetings about three times. So it's been really good to reconnect with him. Our church in Essex, we're about 25 minutes from the border. So of course, just go straight up 75 to Detroit, cross the border, and then we're about 20, 25 minutes from there. Essex is a small town, although I think bigger than Arlington. We are a small congregation like you. You have a lot more children than we have. Most of our congregation are 60s, early 70s, although we have some sort of in the middle and down lower, but it's good to see all of the children. Well, let's take our Bibles and turn to the book of Ephesians chapter four. Ephesians chapter four, and I want to read the first six verses. Paul's letter to the church in Ephesus chapter four, beginning at verse one. I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one spirit, just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call, one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. Let's again bow together in prayer. Our Father, we do thank you for this privilege you have given us today to be able to gather as your people, purchased with the blood of the Lord Jesus, and worship you in dependence on your Holy Spirit. And we come to you again asking for your help as we take up your word. We do desire, our God, that you would speak to us clearly from your word. Give us ears to hear. Grant us meekness in our souls that we might eagerly receive what you have to say to us. And we pray, our God, that you would give us grace to respond to your word, that in every area of our lives, we would seek to bring you honor and glory. Father, we ask for your help. We pray in Jesus' name, amen. A little over a year ago, I was preaching to our congregation a series on the one another's in the New Testament. And so I've pulled one of those messages and that's what I want to bring you today. Now, for healthy church life, we need to have a biblical balance of idealism and realism. So you've got to have biblical idealism, you've got to have biblical realism, and you've got to have a healthy balance of those for good church life. What's biblical idealism? Well, that's what God intends the church to be, the glorious bride of Christ. A group of God's people who have been purchased by the Lord Jesus, their lives having been changed through His redemptive work. People who know the transforming work of the Holy Spirit in their daily lives. They're living to the glory of God. That's biblical idealism, what God wants us to be. Biblical realism, the reminder that this church and every true church of the Lord Jesus Christ is a group of sinners. People who are still struggling to put to death former sins. People who grieve and even quench the working of the Spirit of God. People who can become so disorderly and wayward that Christ threatens to cut them off. Now, those seem to be polar opposites, but they're both presented to us in the word of God, and we must live with both truths. Biblical realism will help us deal with the disappointments and the discouragements that are sure to come from a group of people seeking to live together and serve Jesus Christ. Biblical idealism is essential so that we live with hope and press forward for that goal of the glory of God in the church. Now the one and others of the New Testament show us both of these realities. When we think of a local church loving one another, serving one another, encouraging one another, caring for one another, we see some of the ideals that God has intended for the life of the church. but the one another's also remind us of biblical realism. When we're called to forgive one another because we have sinned against each other. Accepting one another when we might naturally cut off someone that we disagree with. And what I want us to focus on today, bearing with one another the need of forbearance. These New Testament commands remind us that we are still living in a world of sin where we desperately need the grace of God to stay together as a church and to press toward that goal of bringing glory to God. The first thing I want us to consider this morning is the call to forbearance. The call to forbearance. At the beginning of Ephesians 4, Paul is making the transition from the predominantly doctrinal section of the letter to show the practical outworking of God's salvation in the life of the church. So, first three chapters of Ephesians, Paul is laying out how God saves his people. And at the end, in chapter 3, the concluding verses, he finishes that section with a beautiful prayer. For the Spirit's work among God's people in the life of the church, that Christ would be dwelling in our hearts by faith, that we would continually be looking to the Lord Jesus, and is longing for the glory of God to be manifested in the midst of the church. So it's a beautiful prayer that he gives for the church. Now, as we go into chapter four, the practical section, we could ask the question, How is this going to be accomplished in the ongoing life of the church? All of these things that Paul has prayed for, how are we going to experience them together? And Paul begins to lay out here in chapter four the critical importance of church unity, of God's people being bound together in the glorious doctrines of the church that he itemizes here. Truths about the Trinity. We believe in one God, existing eternally in three persons, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. The church as the body of Christ, that the church, it's not a physical building, it's a group of people who have been redeemed by the Lord Jesus Christ and who have come together and actually belong to Jesus Christ. We're his body. The life of faith, walking day by day with our eyes focused upon the Lord Jesus and relying upon him for all that we need. That life manifested in baptism as we give testimony to the world of our loyalty to the Lord Jesus Christ. A growing experience of life together as God's people. Now, to maintain this church unity, which has been established by the work of the Spirit of God drawing us together in Christ, there are some crucial relational virtues which we must exercise towards one another. Here in verse two, he spells them out. Humility, gentleness, Patience, and then the word that we want to focus on this morning, bearing with one another in love. Here is the grace of forbearance. To promote that unity which exalts the truth to the glory of God in a growing and developing church, we must learn to bear with one another. We must exercise forbearance. So that obviously begs the question, what is forbearance? What does it mean to bear with one another? Or as the new American standard puts it, showing tolerance for one another. What does this mean? Well, the word that Paul uses here means to exercise restraint, to show tolerance, to put up with something. to bear with someone. It implies, in a church context, that a fellow church member has done something to you. It's irritated you. It's something that you would normally react strongly to. But you're not going to react. You're going to bear with them. You're going to put up with them. I think, in fact, that's a good way to translate Paul's words here, that we're called to put up with our brethren. There are times when we have to endure our brethren. Now, that sounds awfully strange in a Christian congregation, that Paul would call us to put up with one another. to endure one another. Wait a minute, didn't we just read earlier in this section that we are called by Jesus Christ to love one another? Well, here is part of the realism of the New Testament, that Paul is understanding that we are sinners living to one another and so sometimes we do things to one another and we have to put up with one another. Imagine something like this. It's after the worship service and you're sort of talking in little groups with one another, maybe two by two. And you're standing there and you're talking to someone who has really bad breath. It's so bad That what you really want to say is, brother, your breath stinks. But you think that wouldn't be very polite, so you don't say anything. But as you're standing there, being overwhelmed by this cloud of bad breath, you can't even pay attention to the conversation. You're not even considering what to say in response. All you can think of is, how do I get out of here? How do I get away from this guy? Forbearance teaches you to stay there, to control your feelings, and to seek to interact with your brother or sister to the glory of God. Now hopefully, we're all committed to good dental hygiene and the use of breath mints, but the reality of church life is that you are going to be confronted with many cases of spiritual bad breath. There will be brethren whose personality has not been sanctified very much yet, and they just rub you the wrong way. There are Christians who talk too much, and they try and control every conversation. People who are the know-it-alls, they have the answer to everything in every conversation. Brothers who've grown up with no table manners and all they think about is themselves. Believers who haven't learned to be sensitive to others. I remember going to a church fellowship years ago, I think I was in my teens. It was a big hall in which the food was all laid out. There was this long table in the middle of the hall, and you could sort of walk down the table and see everything that was there. I remember this one man doing that. He was walking down, he was sort of surveying what was there for main course and what was there for dessert. And he came to this bowl that was part of the dessert selections. And it was a trifle where, you know, there's all kinds of stuff all mixed up together in a bowl. He stood there and out loud said, that looks like a dog's breakfast. Well, can you imagine how that lady who prepared that trifle felt? She didn't say anything. Her mouth was shut. But no doubt, it hurt deeply in her heart. She had to put up with that brother who had just made that comment. These are the realities of church life. This is why we need forbearance. This is why Paul is telling us to put up with one another. So that's the call to forbearance. Secondly, I want you to consider the words that Paul groups around this call to forbearance. So as you look at verse two, you can see it's not simply a call to put up with one another. The apostle places our word in the midst of a group of words that impacts our understanding of what we're called to as fellow Christians in the body of Christ. So he lists here humility and gentleness patience, and then finally, in love. While each of these virtues can stand on their own, Paul groups them together because they have a bearing on how we understand putting up with each other. Let's look at each of these words that Paul groups around the verb that we're focusing on. First of all, humility. So, the need for Christians to have a lowly mind, a lowly view of ourselves. Now, the reference here is not to humility before God. We know that we need that. The reference here is humility before one another as members of the Church of Christ. Not exalting myself above my brethren, but putting myself lower. When we come to thinking about putting up with one another, do we begin to think of all of the people in the church who irritate us and the various reasons we might have to put up with them? Paul says, no. You need humility. Humility would have us first consider ourselves. Am I the person with bad breath? Am I the person with spiritual bad breath who's been an irritant to others in the church? So, as we look at this call to forbearance, we don't think about, oh, this brother, he irritates me, and oh, this sister, you know, it's hard for me to stay. No, Paul says you've got to begin by looking at yourself. What are the things in your life that are an irritant or a grief to others? Am I the person who needs a breath mint or a dose of biblical sanctification to change my personality and behavior? Humility will radically change our view of a fellow Christian who irritates us by making us first look at ourselves. Second word, gentleness. There may be a temptation in our relationships with people who irritate us to deal with them roughly. We may want to confront them with the obnoxiousness of their behavior. Perhaps in some of our dealings with brothers and sisters, we might want to throttle them. But this is not the way of grace. God would have us respond with gentleness. It's the soft answer that turns away wrath. As Paul says in writing to Timothy, giving him instructions about how to operate in the church as a pastor. He says in 2 Timothy 2.24, So, Timothy, There as you minister in the Church of Ephesus, you're gonna have people who stand against you, people who oppose you, people who are trying to bring in things to the church that are wrong and need to be dealt with. Timothy, even those people deal with gentleness, trusting that God will work in their hearts. Now if that is how God would have us treat opponents to gospel truth, how much more should we exercise gentleness towards those who are our blood-bought family? So humility, gentleness, thirdly, patience. This is the long fuse of the Christian's passion. There will be many times, many things in our church relations that may stoke the fires of our anger. There may be temptations to lash out with words or attitudes. But a Christian seeking grace from the indwelling Holy Spirit is going to hold those things in check. He's going to refuse a quick response. We must be willing to wait upon God to see His work making progress in the lives of our brethren. It doesn't mean there's never a time for response. It doesn't mean that there's never an appropriate need for rebuke or correction. But let there be patience first. We need to pray for our brethren. And so the person who bothers you or irritates you or says things and you just think, why do they do that? How much do you pray for them? How much do you come before God and plead that God would give them grace and that God would sanctify them and move them on and mature them and make them more like the Lord Jesus? Let us be willing to suffer indignities and insults and irritations. How we need to pray to God for patience. But then the last word that Paul groups around forbearance, finally, in love. We need to bear with one another in love. Paul is telling us that as we put up with our brother or sister, our putting up needs to be governed by loving them. So we're not trying to escape the relationship, we're not trying to figure out a way of dealing with this person, but what is to fill our minds is this question, how can I love this person? How can I do them good? How can I show them that I am glad that God has put them here with all of us to worship and serve Christ together? How can I love them? Now I think we probably all know the reality of people leaving the church. I don't know your church history, I know our church history. We've had that, the reality of people leaving the church. And sometimes, despite the sadness of them leaving, there's almost a sense of relief. Maybe our confession at that point needs to be honestly, I'm glad that I don't have to figure out anymore how to love that person. I don't have to put up with them anymore. And the focus shifts from what my response needs to be to piling on them. and why they were wrong for this place. But putting up with people isn't easy, and it's surely not natural. We need the grace of God to accomplish it. It requires humility and gentleness and patience and love. And when it is accompanied by all those virtues, putting up with a person really becomes a very beautiful thing. A demonstration of the grace of God working in hearts. May God grant us that determination that this is the way we are going to live together in Christ. That brings us thirdly this morning to consider the greatest motivation to forbearance. So we've thought about the call that Paul gives to us, we've thought about these words that he groups around forbearance, and now the greatest motivation to forbearance. As we stop to consider this call that Paul has given us to forbear, to put up with one another, The most important thing for us to remember and think about is how God has borne with us, how God has put up with us. As you read through the Bible, you know that's really the story of God's dealings with his people. He moves mightily in grace to save them, and then he bears with them. in all of their sins and failures and the great disappointments of their wanderings. Just think of the story of Israel between their rescue from Egypt, that glorious exodus and redemption, and their conquering of Canaan. Though God lavished upon his people his kindness, in return they grumbled They complained. They despised the manna that He gave them. They rebelled against the appointed authorities. They allowed unbelief and rebellion to rule their thinking and actions. He forgave them so many times. He listened to Moses' intercessions on their behalf. He grieved over their apostasies. And though that original generation finally perished in the wilderness, the next generation didn't prove to be much better. God bore with them. The story of Jesus and his disciples follows a similar course. These men were greatly blessed above all other men. Jesus called them to a life where the primary blessing was to be with Jesus. I mean, you just think about that. These men out of the nation of Israel called to be with the Lord Jesus. To walk with Him, to live with Him for three, three and a half years. And you can only imagine the privileges that they enjoyed in such a life, to be with the Lord Jesus every day. Just imagine waking up and Jesus is right there. It's, okay, Lord Jesus, what are we doing today? Where are we going? What work do you have for us to do? They got to have the front row at the miracles. I mean, you think of what, 10, 15, 20,000 people gathered for the feeding miracle, and those men got to be there. They saw the little bit of bread and the fish, and they could hear Jesus give thanks, and they watched him break it and fill up the baskets. And then they got to go and serve the baskets and then gather up the remnants and bring them all back in. They saw that. They experienced that. Probably ate some of the bread and fish themselves. They sat in the front row of Jesus' teaching. You know, when he gathered people for the Sermon on the Mount. and the other teaching ministries that he gave. They sat right there, listening to him. They were blessed not only with the public teaching, but then even to go into private with him and get private explanations. They were blessed, they were greatly blessed. And yet how their lives were marked many times by great unbelief. They quarreled with one another about who is going to be the greatest. They refused to minister to one another in the foot washing in the upper room so that Jesus had to do it. And then they all forsook Him at the greatest trial of His life. How our Savior put up with those men. He was faithful to them. He loved them consistently through all of their unbelief and shameful actions. He was willing even to go to the cross and pay the debt for all of their sins. What incredible forbearance. Now brethren, if we are going to have motivation to put up with one another in a godly way, We have to do more than just look back at Israel or the disciples of Jesus. We've got to look at ourselves. Just think of your own life. In your mind, think about the timeline of your life. So begin at birth and come up to conversion. I don't know how long that was for you. I think I was converted as a boy. Maybe your timeline at that point is longer, but from birth to conversion, how many times in those years do you think you sinned against God? How many times did you hear the gospel and say, no, I don't want it? How many times did you lift your fist in the face of God and say, I'm not going to do what you have commanded me to do? A few times? Do you need more than two hands to count? I know even being saved as a child, I think probably there were mountains and mountains of sin that God had to forgive. He bore with me. He bore with us in all of those unconverted years. But let's go now to another section on the timeline from when you were converted until now. For me, that's been a long time. I don't know how long that has been for you. But look at that part of your timeline. As a Christian, how many times have you sinned? As a Christian, knowing the will of God, how many times have you failed to do the will of God? As a Christian, growing in your understanding of the word of God, how many times have you allowed the truth to get into your head and yet failed to live that out in your lives? I don't know about you, but I know for me again, There's mountains and mountains of sin that God has had to forgive. And during that time, He has borne with me. He has put up with me the same story for you as well. God has put up with us far more than you've ever had to put up with one of your brothers and sisters in Christ. Back home we have a different hymn book and there's a hymn by John Newton in there that we love to sing. I tried to find it in your hymn book but it's not there. It's about the incredible love and friendship of the Lord Jesus. And this is how one of the verses goes. Could we bear from one another what he daily bears from us? Yet this glorious friend and brother loves us though we treat him thus. Though for good we render ill, he accounts us brethren still. So the Lord Jesus is constantly doing us good. And yet how often do we respond with not good things, but sinful things to our Lord Jesus. Well, here is the motivation that we need. If God has borne with us, if he has put up with us so patiently and so lovingly and with such gentleness, brethren, can we not put up with one another? Can we not deal with the bad breath, the spiritual bad breath, and even cry out to the Lord, Gracious Father, as you have poured your grace out upon me, help me to pour out grace upon my brother and sister in the Lord Jesus. If Jesus has put up with us, if he has shown such forbearance toward us, his sinning people, can we not bear with one another? Maybe you're here this morning and you don't really have any understanding or comprehension of this reality that God has been bearing with you, that God has been putting up with you. You haven't come to see the reality of your own sins. You haven't seen those mountains of sins that you have piled up since the day of your birth. and you've been unconcerned about that. But we all need to recognize that God has been patient with us, even though many times He could have sent a thunderbolt to kill us and take us to hell, that's what we deserve, yet He's continued to give us life and breath and so many good things. And you're here again this morning to hear about the gospel, to hear about our Lord Jesus Christ and how He went to die on the cross and take the place of sinners. And if you've never come to Him and asked Him to forgive you, I would urge you this morning to respond to the call of the gospel, respond to the invitation that our Lord Jesus gives, And just right where you are, ask Him to save you and forgive you and make you a Christian. The Lord Jesus Himself encourages us to know that anyone who comes to Him like that, He will never turn away, but gladly receive. And you could go home today rejoicing to be a Christian. Let's bow together in prayer. Heavenly Father, we bow before you today and we thank you for the gospel. We thank you for the truth of how you have put up with us, how you have borne with us. Indeed, we really have no idea how great your patience has been, but we thank you for your mercy. We thank you for your goodness to us. We thank you for your forbearance. And we pray, our Father, that you would help us to be forbearing with one another. Lord, give us this grace of forbearance. Help us to exercise it in a way that honors you. And Father, we do pray For anyone here this morning who is a stranger to your grace, who doesn't know the Lord Jesus Christ, we pray that you would come to them with that relentless love that we were thinking about earlier, and that you would draw them to yourself, and that you would cause them to stand in amazement at your grace towards them. We ask these things in Jesus' name, amen.