Welcome to the Hackberry House of Chosun. My name is Bob. Reading again today from the Free Grace Broadcaster. Those of you who have been with me in real time know that I've spent most of this week talking about the winter 2017 edition of this Free Grace Broadcaster publication. It comes out every quarter. This quarter, it's talking about a wife's respect. I don't know what it will be next quarter, but every time it comes in my mail, I stop and I share it with you, because this is the exact thing that I like to do, is take these great men of God who have taught wonderful things and pass them on to God's people today. Now, I've noticed this week that the numbers are very low. Now, my numbers are never supersonic. They're never really that high, but they've cut quite a ways down this week. There's something about this message about a wife being respectful that is not too popular today. Or maybe much of my audience is men and they'd rather just listen to men-type messages. I don't know what it is. I can only guess. Maybe you'll want to send me a note to say, yeah, I heard this and it's right on, it's God. Or you might want to disagree. Always remember that if it's too disagreeable in its tone, I just ignore those kind of messages. But if you could share with me and love why these men are wrong. It's not me, by the way. These are not my words. They're the words of scripture through the words of men of God who were raised up for their time to bring the word to that generation. I don't see why we had to change it. Anyway. This is called Lovely in Her Husband's Eyes. It's by one called J. R. Miller. And if you don't know who J. R. Miller was, well, I don't either, except when I look it up here in the booklet. And I'm having a little trouble doing that. Here it is. J. R. Miller, James Russell Miller, Presbyterian pastor, gifted writer, born at Frankfurt Springs, Pennsylvania. He died in 1912. Modern, God can even speak to modern men, don't you think? One of the first essential elements in a wife is faithfulness. Faithfulness, too, in the largest sense. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, Proverbs 31, 11. A shadow of doubt destroys the peace of married life. A true wife, by her character, by her conduct, proves herself worthy of her husband's trust. He has confidence in her affection. He knows that her heart is unalterably true to him. He has confidence in her management. He confides to her the care of his household. He knows that she is true to all his interests, that she is prudent and wise, not wasteful nor extravagant. It is one of the essential things in a true wife that her husband shall be able to leave in her hands the management of all domestic affairs and know that they are safe. Wifely thriftlessness and extravagance have destroyed the happiness of many a household and wrecked many a home. On the other hand, many a man owes his prosperity to his wife's prudence and her wise administration of household affairs. Every true wife makes her husband's interests her own. While he lives for her, Carrying her image in his heart and toiling for her all the days, she thinks only of what will do him good. When burdens press upon him, she tries to lighten them by sympathy, by cheer, by the inspiration of love. She enters with zest and enthusiasm into all his plans. She's never a weight to drag him down. She's strength in his heart. To help him ever to do nobler and better things. All wives are not such blessings to their husbands. Woman is compared sometimes to the vine, While man is the strong oak to which it clings. But there are different kinds of vines, And some wreath a robe of beauty, And a crown of glory for the tree, Covering it in summer days with green leaves, And in the autumn hanging among its branches Rich purple clusters of fruit. Others twine their arms about it only to sap its very life and destroy its vigor until it stands decaying and unsightly, stripped of its splendor, disground and fit only for the fire. A true wife makes a man's life nobler, stronger, grander by the omnipotence of her love, turning all the forces of manhood upward and heavenward. While she clings to him in holy confidence, and loving dependence. She brings out in him whatever is noblest and richest in his being. She inspires him with courage and earnestness. She beautifies his life. She softens whatever is rude and harsh in his habits or his spirit. She clothes him with the gentler graces of refined and cultured manhood. While she yields to him and never disregards his lightest wish, She is really his queen, ruling his whole life, leading him onward and upward in every proper path. There are wives also like the vines that cling only to blight. Their dependence is weak, indolent, helplessness. They lean but impart no strength. They cling but they sap the life. They put forth no hand to help. They lull on sofas or promenade the streets. They dream over sentimental novels. They gossip in drawing rooms. They're utterly useless. And being useless, they become burdens even to manliest, tenderest love. Instead of making a man's life stronger, happier, richer, they absorb his strength, impair his usefulness, hinder his success, and cause him to be a failure among men. The true wife clings and leans, but she also helps and inspires. Her husband feels the mighty inspiration of her love in all of his life. Toil is easier, burdens are lighter, battles are less fierce because of the face that waits in the quiet of the home, because of the heart that beats in loving sympathy, whatever the experience, because of the voice that speaks its words of cheer encouragement when the day's work is done. No wife knows how much she can do to make her husband honored among men and his life a power and a success by her loyal faithfulness, by the active inspiration of her own sweet life. Here are two words from another pen. The woodsman's axe swings lighter the heavy blows on the anvil have more music than fatigue in them, the farmer whistles cheerfully over his plough, the mechanic's severest toil is lightened by a sweet refrain when he knows that his fair young bride is in sympathy with him, and while watching his return is providing daintily for his pleasure and comfort, eager to give him loving welcome. To the artist at his easel come fairer visions to be transformed to the canvas because of the dear one presiding over his house. The author in his study finds the dullest subjects clothed in freshness and vigor because of the gentle critic to whom he can go for aid and encouragement. The lawyer prepares his case with better balanced energy, thinks more clearly, pleads his cause more effective eloquence. inspired by the cheering words uttered as he goes to his labors by the young wife, whose thoughts he is assured will follow his work with her judicious, tranquilizing sympathy. The physician in his daily rounds among the sick and suffering knows there is one now all his own, praying for his success. And this knowledge so fills his being that his very presence by the sickbed has healing in it. The young pastor, in his efforts to minister to the spiritual wants of his flock, will speak peace to the troubled souls committed to his trust with far more zeal and tenderness for the love that will smile on him when he returns home. And where is that from? That is from Eunice White Beecher, also known as Mrs. Henry Ward Beecher, who wrote Long Engagements on Early Marriage, as it was written in the Christian Union. many years ago. Well, the good wife is a good housekeeper. I know well how unromantic this remark will appear to those whose dream of married life is woven of the fancies of youthful sentiment. But these frail dreams of sentiment will not last long amid the stern realities of life. And then that which will prove one of the rarest elements of happiness and blessing in the household will be housewifely industry and diligence. A Greek philosopher, walking at night and gazing up at the sky, stumbled and fell. His companion observed, one should not have his head in the stars while his feet are on the earth. There are some wives who commit the same mistake. They set their eyes on romantic ideals and neglect the real duties that come close to their hands, in which the true secret of happiness and blessing lies. They have their eyes and head among the stars while their feet are walking on mundane soil. No wonder that they stumble. It may be put down as a positive rule. Whether among the rich or the poor, whether in a palace or in a cottage, that the wife who would be happy and make her home happy and permanently beautiful must work with her hands at the housewifely tasks that the days in turn bring to her. When young people marry, they're rarely troubled with many thoughts about the details of housekeeping. Their dreams are high above all such commonplaces. The mere mention of such things as cooking, baking, sweeping, dusting, mending, ironing, jars upon the poetic rhythm of the lofty themes of conversation. It never enters the brains of those happy lovers that it can make any difference in the world, in their home life, whether the bread is sweet or sour, whether the oatmeal is well-cooked or scorched, whether the meals are punctual or tardy, the mere thought that such sublunary matters could affect the tone of their wedded life seems a desecration. It's a pity to dash away such exquisite dreams, but the truth is they do not long outlast the echo of the wedding peals or the fragrance of the bridal roses. The newly married are not long within their own doors before they find that something more than tender sentiment is needed to make their home life a success. They come down from the clouds when the daily routine begins and touch the common soil on which the feet of other mortals walk. Then they find that they are dependent, just like ordinary people, on some quite prosaic conditions. The palace that is to rise into the air, shooting up its towers and displaying its wonders of architecture, flashing its splendors in the sunshine, the admiration of the world, must have its foundation in commonplace earth, resting on plain, hard, honest rock. Love may build its palace of noble sentiments and tender affections and sweet charities, rising into the very clouds, And in this splendid home, two souls may dwell in the enjoyment of the highest possibilities of wedded life. But this palace, too, must stand on the ground with unpoetic and unsentimental stones for its foundation. That foundation is good housekeeping. In other words, good breakfast, dinner, suppers, a well-kept house, order, system, promptness, punctuality, good cheer. Far more than any young lover's dream does happiness in married life depend upon such commonplace things as these. Love is very patient, very kind, very gentle. And where there is love, no doubt the plainest fare is ambrosia, and the homeliest surroundings are charming. Husbands are not angels in this mundane state, and not being such, they need a substantial basis of good housekeeping. for the realization of their dreams of blissful home-making. There's no doubt that many a hard estrangement begins at the table, where meals are unpunctual and food is poorly cooked or repulsively served. Bad housekeeping will soon drive the last vestige of romance out of any home. The illusion that love weaves about an idolized bride will soon vanish if she proves incompetent in her domestic management. The wife who will keep the charm of early love unbroken through the years, and in whose home the dreams of the wedding day will come true, must be a good housekeeper. It should be understood that for every wife, the first duty is the making and keeping of her own home. Her first and best work should be done there, and until it is well done, she has no right to go outside to take up other duties. She must look upon her home as the one spot on earth for which she alone is responsible and which she must cultivate well for God if she never does anything outside. For her, the father's business is not attending Dorcas societies, missionary meetings, mother's meetings, temperance conventions, or even teaching a Sunday school class until she has made her own home all that her wisest thought and best skill can make it. There have been wives who, in their zeal for Christ's work outside, have neglected Christ's work inside their own doors. They've had eyes and hearts for human need and human sorrow in the broad fields lying far out, but neither eye nor heart for the work of love lain about their own feet. The result has been that while they were doing angelic work in the lanes and streets, the angels were mourning over their neglected duties within the hallowed walls of their own homes. Let it be remembered that Christ's work in the home is the first that he gives to every wife, and that no amount of consecrated activities in other spheres will atone in this world or the next for neglect or failure there. Next, the good wife is generous warm-hearted. She does not grow grasping and selfish. In her desire to economize and add to her store, she does not forget those who suffer or want. While she gives her wisdom and most earnest thought and her best and most skillful work to her own home, her heart does not grow cold toward those outside who need sympathy. I cannot conceive of true womanhood, ripened into mellow richness, yet lacking the qualities of gentleness and unselfishness. A woman whose heart is not touched by the sickness of sorrow and whose hands do not go out in relief where it is in her power to help, lacks one of the elements that make the glory of womanhood. It is in her own home that this warmth of heart and this openness of hand are first to be shown. It is as wife and mother that her gentleness performs its most sacred ministry. Her hand wipes away the teardrops when there is sorrow. In sickness, she is the tender nurse. She bears upon her own heart every burden that weighs upon her husband. No matter how the world goes with him during the day, when he enters his own door, he meets the fragrant atmosphere of love. Other friends may forsake him, but she clings to him with unalterable fidelity. When gloom comes down and adversity falls upon him, her faithful eye looks ever into his eyes like two stars of hope shining in the darkness. When his heart is crushed, beneath her smile it gathers itself again into strength like a wind-torn flower in the sunshine. Men often see not the angel in the plane, plotting woman who walks quietly beside them until the day of trial comes. Then in the darkness the glory shines out. An angel ministered to our Lord when in Gethsemane he wrestled with his great and bitter sorrow. What a benediction to the mighty sufferer was in the soft gliding to his side of that gentle presence, in the touch of that soothing, supporting hand laid upon him, in the comfort of that gentle voice thrilling with sympathy as it spoke its strengthening message of love. Was it a mere coincidence that just at that time and in that place, the radiant messenger came? No. No, it's always so. Angels choose such occasions to pay their visits to men. So it is in the dark hours of a man's life, when burdens press, when sorrows weigh like mountains upon his soul, when adversities have left him crushed and broken, or when he is amid fierce struggles, that try the strength of every fiber of his manhood, that all the radiance and glory of a true wife's strengthened love shine out before his eyes. Only then does he recognize in her God's angel of mercy. In sickness, how thoughtful, how skillful, how gentle a nurse is the true wife. In struggles with temptation or adversity or difficulty, what an inspiration she is. In misfortune or disaster, what lofty heroism does she exhibit? What courage does her bravery kindle in her husband's heart? Instead of being crushed by the unexpected loss, she only then rises to her full grandeur of soul. Instead of weeping, repining, and despairing, and thus adding tenfold to the burden of the misfortune, she cheerfully accepts the changed circumstances, becomes a minister of hope and strength. She turns away from luxury and ease to the plainer home, the simpler life, the humbler surroundings, without a murmur. It is in such circumstances and experiences that the heroism of woman's soul is manifested. Many a man is carried victoriously through misfortune and able to rise again because of the strong inspiring sympathy and the self-forgetting help of his wife. Many a man fails in fierce struggle, rises not again from the defeat of misfortune, because the wife at his side proves unequal to her opportunity. And then a true wife gives her husband her fullest confidence. She hides nothing from him. She gives no pledge of secrecy that will seal her lips in his presence. She listens to no word of admiration from others that she may not repeat to him. She expresses to him every feeling, every hope, every desire, every yearning, every joy or pain. Then while she utters every confidence in his ear, she is most careful to speak in no other ear any word concerning the sacred inner life of her home. Are there little frictions or grievances in the wedded life? Has her husband faults that annoy her or cause her pain? Does he fail in this duty or that? Do differences arise that threaten the peace of the home? In the feeling of disappointment and pain, smarting under a sense of injury, a wife may be strongly tempted to seek sympathy by telling her trials to some intimate friends. Nothing could be more fatal to her own truest interests and to the hope of restored happiness and peace in her home. Grievances complained of outside remain unhealed sores. The wise wife will share her secret of unhappiness with none but her master while she strives in every way that patient love can suggest to remove the causes of discord or trouble. Love sees much in a wife that other eyes do not see. It throws a veil over her blemishes. It transfigures even her plainest features. One of the problems of her wedded life is to retain this charm for her husband's eyes as long as she lives, to appear lovely to him even when the color has faded from her cheeks and when the music has gone out of her voice. This is no impossibility. It's only what is done in every true home. But it cannot be done by the arts of the dressmaker, the milliner, the hairdresser, Only the arts of love can do it. The wife who would always hold in her husband's heart the place she held on her wedding day will never cease striving to be lovely. She'll be as careful of her words and acts and her whole bearing toward him as she was before marriage. She will cultivate in her own life whatever is beautiful, whatever is winning, whatever is graceful. She will scrupulously avoid whatever is offensive or unwomanly. She'll look well to her personal appearance. No woman can be careless in her dress. Slatternly, that means unconcerned about good standards of hygiene, grooming, tidiness. And long keep her place on the throne of her husband's life if she's this way. She will seek to be clothed in spiritual beauty. Her husband must see in her ever new loveliness as the years move on. As the charms of physical beauty may fade in the toils and vicissitudes of life, there must be more and more beauty of soul to shine out to replace the attractions that are lost. It has been said the wife should always leave something to be revealed only to her husband, some modest charm, some secret grace reserved solely for his delight and inspiration. like those flowers that give of their sweetness only to the hand that lovingly gathers them. She should always care more to please Him than any other person in the world. She should prize more highly a compliment from His lips than from any other human lips. Therefore, she should reserve for Him the sweetest charms. She should seek to bring ever to Him some new surprise of loveliness she should plan pleasures and delights for him. Instead of not caring how she looks or whether she is agreeable or not, when no one but her husband is present, she should always be at her best for him. Instead of being bright and lovely when there's company, and then relapsing into languor and silence when the company is gone, she should seek always to be brightest and loveliest when only he and she sit together in the quiet of the home. Both husband and wife should ever bring their best things to each other. Again, let me say that no wife can overestimate the influence she wields over her husband, or the measure in which his character, his career, and his very destiny are laid in her hands for shaping. The sway which she holds over him is the sway of love, but it is mighty and resistless. If she retains her power, if she holds her place as queen of his life, she can do with him as she will, ever unconsciously, even unconsciously to herself, without any thought of her responsibility. She will exert over him an influence that will go far toward making or marring all his future. If she has no lofty conception of life herself, if she is vain and frivolous, she will only chill his ardor, weaken his resolution, and draw him aside from any earnest endeavor But if she has in her soul noble womanly qualities, if she has true thoughts of life, if she has purpose, strength of character, and fidelity to principle, she will be to him an unfailing inspiration toward all that is noble, manly, and Christ-like. The high conceptions of life in her mind will elevate his conceptions. Her firm, strong purpose will put vigor and determination into every resolve and act of his. Her purity of soul will cleanse and refine his spirit. Her warm interest in all his affairs and her wise counsel at every point will make him strong for every duty, valiant in every struggle. Her careful domestic management will become an important element of success in his business life. Her bright, orderly, happy homemaking will be a perpetual source of joy and peace and an incentive to nobler living. Her unwavering fidelity, her tender affectionate-ness, her womanly sympathy, her beauty of soul will make her to him God's angel indeed, sheltering, guarding, keeping, guiding, blessing him. Just to the measure in which she realizes this lofty ideal of wifehood, will she fulfill her mission and reap the rich harvest of her hopes. So it all comes back to a question of character. She can be a good wife only by being a good woman and she can be a good woman in the true sense only by being a Christian woman. Nowhere save in Christ can she find the wisdom and strength she needs to meet the solemn responsibilities of wifehood. Only in Christ can she find that rich beauty of soul that gemming and imperiling of the character which shall make her lovely in her husband's sight, when the bloom of youth is gone, when the brilliance has faded out of her eyes and the roses have fled from her cheeks. Only Christ can teach her how to live so as to be blessed and a blessing in her married life. Nothing in this world is sadder than to compare love's early dreams, what love meant to be, with the too frequent story of the afterlife? What came of the dreams? What was the outcome of love's venture? Why so many sad disappointments? Why do so many bridal wreaths fall into dust? Is there no possibility of making these fair dreams come true? Of keeping these flowers lovely and fragrant through all the years? Yes, but only in Christ. The young maiden goes smiling and singing to the marriage altar. Does she know that if she has not Christ with her, she is as a lamb going to the sacrifice? Let her tarry at the gateway till she has linked her life to Him who is the first and the last. Human love is very precious, but it is not enough to satisfy a heart. There will be trials. There will be perplexities. There will be crosses and disappointments. There will be solicitudes and sorrows. then none but Christ will be sufficient. Without him, the way will be dreary. But with his benediction and presence, the flowers that droop today will bloom fresh again tomorrow, and the dreams of early love will build themselves up into a palace of peace and joy for the solace, the comfort, and the shelter of old age. That was from Homemaking. 1882, James Russell Miller. Oh, can any of us have said it any better? May God add his blessing to this message, I believe from the Lord. This is the Hackberry House of Choson. We will talk again, Lord willing, very soon. Bye-bye.