I tell you, the process of putting a message and a lesson together, especially on a topic that maybe I haven't taught or preached on often, is a very enjoyable exercise. Because you get to delve into the Word of God deeper on an issue, and before I can get up here and teach, before I can get up here and preach, I have to first be taught by the Bible and that first has to work on my heart. And so it's been a fun experience, it's been a fun time. I know it's the work of study coming out of my mouth to describe it as fun. usually isn't how I described study growing up. I found every way possible to get out of study, but when it comes to this, I have really been thrilled to study this topic of the family, and I hope that it is a blessing to your heart and to your family like I pray that it is to mine. As we continue on from last week, we talked about specifically what it means to put our faith into God's plan for our marriage. But then taking a step back and looking at the fact that the goal is, the idea is, is not just to have a home or a family, but to have a Christian home and a Christian family. And I'd like to finish up this week kind of setting the stage, laying the foundation that we will build upon in these lessons on the home, and look at the building blocks or attributes, if you would, what does it take to make a Christian home? What are the building blocks of a home? You know, if you had a contractor here and you said, what does it take to build an actual house? There's going to be different aspects. They're going to talk about how you have different options for a foundation. They're going to talk about how you have different options for what kind of framing you want. Do you want Do you want 2x4 framing? Do you want 2x6 framing? Do you want it to be wood? Do you want it to be metal? What kind of siding do you want? What kind of insulation do you want? Everything, every aspect of it, though, makes it the home that it eventually is. And sometimes, sometimes specifically nowadays, it seems like builders are trying to build homes and build structures in a way to look and have the appearance like they are something that they're not. I moved into, when Sarah and I first got married, for the first three years of our marriage, up until earlier this summer, We lived in an apartment that when we moved in, man, the paint was wet. It was brand new, and it was shiny. It was nice looking. But it was junk. What it was built of, what it was made of, looked right, but it didn't stay looking right very long because it wasn't right. The flooring was cheaply put together, and even the cheap material was put together wrong. There was cracks in the foundation that quickly showed themselves and things were buckling up my next-door neighbor In the apartment next to us a few months into moving in in the island where they had the fake granite countertops and the sink there the sink was so cheap that it just buckled in and fell into the right into the cabinet below and About six to nine months into living there, maybe a year, I was turning on the sink to wash some dishes, and all of a sudden I get water in my face. It was so cheaply built, I don't even think Lowe's sells faucets that cheaply built, but pinholes started showing up in the faucet, and I started getting water spraying everywhere, not coming down into the sink where it belongs. So I had to go buy my own faucet and made sure to buy a quality one. But needless to say, looks are not what matters in a physical or a spiritual home. You can put on a show like we've got it all together, and man, this is a really nice home. This is a really great Christian home. But that's not going to cut it. That's not going to give you a good end result when push comes to shove. What's important is what are the building blocks of that home? What are the attributes? What are the building materials that really make a good home in construction? But also, what does it take to make a Christian home spiritually? So I want to take a few moments this evening and go and look at that and realize that the home is a place where God's love is modeled. And the next generation should be mentored and trained up in the faith. The only way to truly have a Christian home is to follow the guidelines in God's Word. But many people really don't understand what it means to have a Christian home. It's simple. But I pray that all of us would have an open heart this evening. Don't put up our defenses of, oh, but this is the way I've done it. No, no. Let's put aside our own thoughts, our own ways, our own defensive attitudes, and just take a look at what does God say are the attributes of a Christian home. Let's pray. Dear Lord, thank you for your word. Lord, thank you that when it comes to having a family, a marriage, a home, that you don't leave us out to dry, but you give us a guide. You give us clear directions. Lord, I pray that we here in this room would understand clearly what you have to say for us tonight, but then that we wouldn't just hear, but we'd also be doers of your word, and we'd put it into action and apply it to our lives and see the fruit in our families, in our homes, for your honor and your glory, in Jesus' name I pray, Amen. The first attribute of a Christian home is pretty simple. You've got to start at step one. The first attribute of a Christian home is salvation through Jesus Christ. The first attribute before a home can truly be labeled a Christian home, the members of the home who are of age. I understand Reagan is not of age of understanding very much yet. She understands num-num when she sees something she wants to eat. But beyond that, she doesn't really understand much. She's a sinner, that's for sure. She needs a Savior, that's for sure. But the Bible speaks about an age of understanding. But if we're going to have a Christian home, salvation has to be the very center focus. The gospel has to be the very first building block of our home. And that starts with parents who must teach the doctrines of Christ. It's vital. You say, well, my children don't really understand. I don't know how much Reagan understands, but last night it was time for Reagan to start winding down to go to bed. She didn't think so, but it was time for her to start going down to bed. So I sat down on the rocking chair in her room, and I pull open a little kid's devotional Bible, and we read a verse and read a little story, and then we pray. And I don't know how much of that she understands. But I know that it's my job, as a parent, it's my job as a dad, to be teaching and instructing my, for right now, one child in the Lord. That's my job. If I miss this, everything's going to fall apart. The sink's going to fall in, for a matter of illustration. We see that Paul recounts this process about Timothy's upbringing in 2 Timothy 1, verse 5 when he said, When I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and thy mother Eunice, and I am persuaded that in thee also. It's fun teaching your children things. It's fun teaching Reagan to figure out how to do different things. She has a little cleaning kit where she has a stand where she can get her little broom and go sweep the floor or she gets a rag and she wants to clean the floor and then she wants to come and clean my face and I just don't want that floor on my face. It's fun to teach her how to do things. But shame on us as parents if we're focused on teaching life skills, teaching educational aspects of a child's upbringing, and we fail in the area of teaching the doctrines of Christ and the gospel to our children thoroughly and regularly. You say, well, they go to Sunday school. That's not enough. Well, they got a Christian education. They're being homeschooled. That's not enough. I'm talking about families sitting down and opening up the Word of God and being taught by the parents. When dad's around, that's dad. When he's not around, that's mom. It's important. It's vital. It's step number one to make sure that salvation through Jesus Christ is a permeating aspect of our home. Now obviously salvation is a personal choice. We can't get saved for our kids. We all know that. 2 Timothy chapter 3 verse 15 it says, And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus. The fact of the matter is the answer for making sure that when they do come of age that they're ready to get saved is the answer for anybody else. The Word of God. The Word of God. Where did he find wisdom? Where did he make thee wise unto salvation? The Word of God. The holy scriptures. It's vital that as a family, one of the first building blocks of a sturdy, strong, good Christian home is that it's a Christian home centered on the Word of God and the teaching of salvation, the gospel, and the Word of God. We get to the point where my brother and sister and I, by the time we got into high school, we're discussing deeper topics of the Bible. By the time we're in high school, we're discussing deeper doctrines of the Bible. And yes, it did help that my dad is, well, he's not here. He's pretty smart. And he's studied a lot of this. But the fact is, is we're all holding the same book with the same answers. You don't need a Bible college degree to be able to open it up and say, hey, let me teach you about, hey, it's Christmas time. Before we open presents, let's read the Christmas story and let's figure out what this is all about. Oh, we're going to talk about the topic of friendships. How should you have friendships? Let's look at what the Bible has to say. How should you treat your brother? How should you treat your sister? Let's look at what the Bible has to say. And teaching them in the way to go. There was a preacher that once told me this, and it stuck with me. Gave me some advice as I was about to become a father. As he told me, he said, look, oftentimes there are two different types of parenting. There's a type of parenting that disciplines, but doesn't teach properly. And then there's a type of parenting that teaches well, but doesn't discipline well. And the fact of the matter is, you need both. Yes, discipline your children in a biblical manner. But you also have to teach them in the way to which to go. Training them up in the way they should go is not just, you did wrong, you did wrong, okay. Well, what does it mean to do right and why? Let's show you from the Bible. Children, obey your parents. That's pretty cut and dry. It should always come back to the Word of God. Always come back to the Word of God. Salvation through Christ must be a center focus if we're to have a truly Christian home. So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. How can we expect our children to be ready to get saved if they don't hear the word of God regularly? The word of God shouldn't just be something that gets dusty in a frame on our wall, but something that's spoken and read repeatedly and often in our house. Number two, number two, not only salvation to Jesus Christ, another building block or attribute of Christian home is surrender to the Holy Spirit. surrender to the Holy Spirit. The second important requirement of a truly Christian home is that the members have surrendered their will to the Holy Spirit. A person who's not a believer is not going to understand and cannot surrender to the Holy Spirit because the Spirit is not part of their life. So step one is the first step. Step one of having that focus on salvation, hey, to have a Christian home, mom and dad have to be saved. It's pretty simple. Then, we have a surrender to the Holy Spirit. Being filled with the Spirit is not a mythical or emotional experience. It's like speaking in tongues. You can go down to the Pentecostal church, and they're hooping, hollering. I've seen videos, I've never seen in person, thankfully. I've seen videos where where they'll get up there and they'll do that. You ever see the snake handling? And they'll get those snakes out there and they think somehow that is spiritual. I tell you that that's not of the Lord. That doesn't make you spiritual. That makes you special. Ed is what I'm saying. Not this Ed, but special Ed. I had like two people got a joke. I should not tell jokes. It's not a spooky thing. It's not an emotional aspect just to get worked up and get our emotions all worked up. Hey, I do get emotional about the things of God, but that's not why I do what I do. That's not what determines my day-to-day. I don't do it right because I feel like it. But guess what? Sometimes, like when I'm studying this out, I get excited and I get pumped up about it. That's okay. That's not the feeling of the Holy Spirit. The feeling of the Holy Spirit is an aspect, though, that is very important to the Christian life. It's an aspect that begins with absolute surrender. We must yield ourselves to the Holy Spirit if we are to achieve God's plan for our families. Yet far too often, even as faithful Christians, our own spirit comes up. Sometimes the spirit that comes up in my heart is a lazy spirit. Well, I know she's doing wrong, and I know I need to get up and deal with it and address it. But man, it's been a long day and I don't feel like it. The lazy spirit sometimes is filling Elijah and not the Holy Spirit. Sometimes it's a complaining spirit. Sometimes, sometimes it's an angry spirit. Sometimes, sometimes this is not, this is just a joke. Sometimes it's a laughing spirit. There are some times where I have to hand Reagan off to her mom because I can't keep a straight face. And she needs to know what she's doing is not okay. But the fact is we can have a fleshly spirit and often times sadly we do. But reacting to our children in the flesh is never going to bring about a spiritual end or result. Being in the flesh as a parent, as a husband, as a wife, one to another, is never going to bring a spiritual end. And you cannot truly have a Christian home if you're walking in the flesh. Many believers are controlled by the flesh and its appetites. It's only as you yield to the Holy Spirit that you can experience the controlling fullness of the Holy Spirit, which is the key to having a happy Christian home. A carnal man or woman is detrimental to a home. Sometimes it's sad to see when it's either a wife who's on fire for the Lord, or a husband who's trying to make strides for the Lord in their home, and their spouse who's not on board, who's determined to walk in the flesh, determined to have their own way. We cannot be carnal and fleshly and living according to the flesh and have a good Christian home. Building block number two is a surrender to the fullness, the filling of the Holy Spirit. A surrender produces an attitude of praise. Ephesians chapter 5 verse 19 says, Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs and singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord. God's plan is that His people should praise Him. I tell you what, kids ought not to grow up in a home that calls itself a Christian home, that's full of complaining and griping. It ought not to be one of these things, in spite of how flawed I am as a vessel bringing the message, it ought not to be the type of home where you get in the car and you complain about the message all the way home. Or a home where even if the walls aren't paper thin, they can hear the arguing from the other room, as loud as if they were in the room. That's not spiritual, that's not a life, that's not a mom and a dad, a husband and wife who are surrendered to the filling of the Holy Spirit. Surrender to the Holy Spirit produces an attitude of praise to the Holy Spirit, uplifting the Lord. It'll give you a focus away from ourselves, away from ourselves as an example to our families That me, my pride, my way is not the focus. He is. And He is to be praised. Fill your home with good Christian music. Good Christian music. If there was one reason not to have the world's music in your home, it's to have God honoring music in your home. And music that uplifts the Lord and praises the Lord. And teach your children to love that music. I tell you, the music that you like is the music you listen to. So if you listen to the right kind of God-honoring, uplifting, Christ-uplifting music in your home, your kids will grow up to learn to like it. And that's good. It's a good thing to be counterculture in many aspects, but especially music. Show them the example of how to praise God. How can you expect your children to grow up and be filled with the Spirit, grow up and have a focus on the Gospel, grow up and have a life filled with praise to God, if we don't first show them an example. We hear all the time, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. It won't. So move your tree to where it ought to be. The Word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. Colossians 3.16. I believe it's important and it's missed so many times in Christian homes that there should be a praising and excitement, a joy about the things of God. It shouldn't be a drudgery. Oh, they got another thing going on. We got to go do this. No, we don't got to go knock on doors. We get to. And Zeke and I and Sharon, we used to not fight physically, we might have, but we used to always argue who gets to go with dad out on the bus route? Who gets to go knock on doors? You know, those were wonderful times together. I can tell you we had a lot of fun on the bus. There's ways my dad made it fun. I'll tell you a story. One time we had, I think it was donated to the church there in Indiana, had these cases on cases. We had a room full of cases of bubblegum balls. I don't know, Mr. Mike, if you were around or if you were in Cambodia, I don't know if you were there. I remember we were in a room and we had a work party at the church. Work party was always fun. Why? Because my dad was told to destroy stuff and I like destroying stuff with my dad. But we were in a room. We were turning a library into a cafeteria. And before they could turn into the cafeteria, we had to go in there and break apart what was the library. And we had the cases, we found in the closet there a case, one of these cases of bubble gum. How many of you guys remember Pastor Boots from, okay, he's all put together, right? Pastor Boots was in there, I think he was in college at the time. I was in there, my dad was in there, Pastor Lewis from Chicago was in there. And they all decided, okay, who can fit more of these gumballs in your mouth at the same time? And oh boy, they start shoving fistfuls. And they were the smaller gumballs, they weren't full size. They started fistfuls at a time. And they're going, their jaws are wearing out. And Pastor Lewis gets in a big breath and he goes, poof. And he blows it nice and big and it pops. And he was lucky that even in college he was bald. Because he had a pink head. And he had to get that bubble gum off. But we had those in the back of the car. And I remember, we didn't eat a lot of sugar growing up. But dad would be like, don't tell your mom. We'd chew some bubble gum out on the bus route. You know, it was on purpose, always a joyful time serving the Lord. Family devotions was an exciting time. We'd sing songs. We'd memorize verses together as a family. The verses that I know the best are either from the Master Club program that they're doing downstairs that I did from the time I was three years old on up, and the verses that I memorized in my living room with my family. I memorized verses in Sunday school, but the ones that specifically I memorized in my living with my family, those are the ones that I remember to this day. I can picture you, I can probably draw you the visuals that my dad would make. He'd laminate them, he'd have them all set. The time around the Word of God was always something that was looked forward to. My dad had fun sometimes, I remember we had, he told a story about Joshua fighting the battle of Jericho. And he set up these different things, we had walls, and we had somebody inside the walls, and we got to march around the walls, and then we blew the trumpets, and I can't remember exactly how he had it, maybe he had a string pulled, and he pulled and all the walls fell down. It's important, it's important to set a focus, set a focus on Christ in our homes. If we're going to truly, not just have the outward show of a good Christian home, but truly have a solid home and a family that is founded on a foundation on the Word of God and on the Lord, that is walking with God and whose children grow up to live for God, it's going to start with, first of all, a center on salvation of the gospel. Then it's going to start with a surrender to the filling of the Holy Spirit, which is going to lead to Like I said, a focus off of us and a focus on God and a delighting in Him and a praising God. Surrender also produces an attitude of gratitude. I didn't even know that rhymed when I wrote it down. Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, Ephesians 5.22. Surrendering to the Holy Spirit means that our home will be a place of gratitude being expressed on a regular basis. It ought to be drilled into your children. Thank you. Thank you. I'll tell you something I realized when we moved back from Belize to the United States working in Sunday schools and children's ministries there and then working in them here. I'll tell you what, I never had a kid say, no, I don't want that one to a treat or a quiet seat prize. We rarely had quiet seat prizes. If I said a banana up on the front of the class, the class would sit up hoping to get the banana. If I bring a two liter of pop down to the Sunday Junior Church classroom, I got a 50-50% chance if the person who I pick to give that away to, 50-50 chance on whether they'll even say thank you or they'll say no, I don't want that. Whatever it is, whatever it is. And we get to, sometimes I bring in hot wheel cars and they don't want the one pack, they want the two pack. Come on, be grateful, have a spirit of gratitude. And it starts all the way back with a surrender to the filling of the Holy Spirit. Because if we're filled with His Spirit, we won't have an ungrateful spirit. And once again, once again, if we look down, and trust me, even though she can't say thank you yet, I already know Reagan's ungrateful. But if I could look down and say, why is my kid ungrateful? I'm not teaching her enough and I ought to be the example of gratitude. I ought to be the example of gratitude. So it starts with us men, dads, wives, mothers. A surrender produces an attitude of gratitude. Heard about a couple who had just gotten married. The wife was trying so hard to please her new husband. One morning she scrambled eggs for breakfast and he was not happy because the eggs were not fried. Amen, I think that's how that's translated. The next day she cooked fried eggs and he was not happy because they were not scrambled. The third morning she fried one and scrambled the other and she thought, surely this will satisfy him. He looked at the plate and he said, He scrambled the wrong one. Any grateful person is never going to be satisfied. It's hard to please someone who's determined not to be grateful. But the Holy Spirit guides and controls us so that we can have a grateful spirit. I wonder if we could take the words of Billy Sunday who once said, try praising your wife, even if it does scare her, it'll make a difference. Society encourages us to seek freedom or fulfillment. God wants us to have our tender hearts submissive and broken and dependent on him. We don't say, oh, I'm an independent person. I hear all the time, I'm just an independent woman. Okay, okay, so you're just not a godly woman, okay. I'm an independent man, I don't need any, yeah, actually you do. You need a savior and you need to surrender to the Lord. All right? There's nothing tough or strong or impressive about saying that you don't need that, need the Lord. God wants us, if we're going to have a good Christian home, we have to submit to God. There will be peace in our family even when we don't agree on everything. People who are submitted to God do not rebel against one another. The surrender produces submission. Submission. Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Ephesians chapter 5 verse 21. It is vital that before we try to fill our roles as husbands and wives, we live up to what God has called us to be, Christians. I'm not going to be the husband I should be if I'm not the Christian before God that I ought to be. You're not going to be the wife that you should be to your husband if you're not first the Christian before God that you ought to be. We need to be willing to follow God's plan in every relationship, although we live day to day in a culture that scorns submission. Our culture is not quick to acknowledge authority. We live in a day of rebellion. In 1 Samuel 15, verse 23, Samuel said to Saul, For rebellion is a sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is an iniquity and idolatry. because thou hast rejected the word of the Lord, and he hath also rejected thee from being king. God is never pleased with a rebellious spirit. I don't know how many times I've heard that first part, for rebellion is the sin of witchcraft, but it skips. Oftentimes we stop right there. It says, and stubbornness is the iniquity of idolatry. Hey, how many times have I heard, oh, I know, but I'm just stubborn. Okay, that's sin. That's sin, but out with the stubbornness and in with the surrender. Well, you don't know, I was just raised this way and it's hard to break the mold. I didn't say it was easy, just surrender. Just surrender. We don't know better. God does. It's time that we as Christians, if we ever expect to raise submissive children, if you look around and say, well, why are my children rebels? Why are they not submissive? Well, it's about time we get our knees to make sure we are submitting to Christ on our knees. It starts with us, parents. God is never pleased with a rebellious spirit, and we're fooling ourselves if we think that rebellious spirit can only be in our children. Oftentimes, they learn from their parents. Today, Reagan was in school. Well, she wasn't in school. She was at the school over there with my wife, and she's doing her thing. My wife sent me a picture. She puts her feet up on the desk. tilts back, slouches, and puts her hands on her belly. Now where did she learn that? From me. It was a spitting image. We need to make sure we root out the spirit of rebellion and get a submissive spirit, a spirit of surrender. If we're gonna fully, actually really have a Christian home, and stop fooling ourselves on having a facade Christian home. You ever see those homes where they look like they're brick, but they're not actually? So many homes have the facade, and then they freak out and wonder, how did my kids just destroy their lives like that? Well, I'll tell you, because it's not real. You put on a show, but there's not submission. There's not true surrender. Parents aren't fully understanding what it means to be absolutely surrendered to the filling of the Holy Spirit. It's got to be the case, or there's no hope in having a Christian home like it ought to be. The attributes of a Christian home are salvation through Jesus Christ, surrender to the filling of the Holy Spirit, but also Thirdly, a security through biblical order. The third element of truly Christian home is a commitment to following God's order in our family. Each member has a divinely appointed role and order. Our culture does not like God's plan. But that doesn't make God's plan any less right. It's simple. First, husbands are to provide leadership. Husbands are to lead their homes. It's God's plan that the man is to be the leader in the home. It's not to be a leader of words, but of life. We lead through example. We are to be the leaders of the home. Which means, which means, all these other attributes I just spoke about, that's our job to make sure that's implemented throughout our home. That's our job, it falls on our shoulders. Whenever it's pointed out from pulpit that men are, God's plan is for men to lead, there's always some people who react negatively because society has distorted our view of godly leadership. Leadership is not domineering and putting somebody down. It's service. Jesus taught that to us by his disciples when he washed their, with his disciples when he washed their feet. God's designation of the husband as leader means that the final decisions rest with him. It's really, truly just a weight of responsibility. We are to lead our homes in a spiritually and physically in a way that is centered around the gospel and surrendered to Christ. So that if our homes aren't going that direction, the weight of making those changes falls on us. Sadly, many, many men, or the male population of our country, even those calling themselves Christians, advocate this role of leadership And so their home kind of gets blown to and fro with the winds and currents of the time and culture. And it goes up and down based off of emotion and feelings. Why? If the wife is running the home, or the children are running the home, or both, it's your fault, husband, father. It's your job to take the role of leadership and make sure we're leading our homes in a way of uprightness in the Lord. Secondly, wives are to support their husband's leadership. Ephesians chapter 5 verse 22 says, Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord. More reaction is against this verse all the time. There's a whole mess of Christians who'd like to just take that verse out of the Bible. Oh, they've got their own... The number of blogs and Facebook posts I'm sure you could find about this verse and how they can explain it away and make excuses about how it doesn't mean what it actually says. But God's plan of submission is nothing against a woman. It actually is by design. The fact of the matter is A key to a Christian home is the wife submitting, why? Hey, if you're gonna raise children for the Lord, I tell you, I'm at work most of the day. The majority of the time raising my daughter and any future children we have will be their mom. And so many times a dad will say, hey, husband will say, this is the direction we're going, this is how we're going, what we're gonna do with the kids. Dad goes off to work and mom does her own thing. That's sin. Period. Period. We say, I just know a better way. You know a better way than submitting to your husbands? You know a better way than God's plan for your home? No, we don't. That goes back to the rebellion we talked about earlier. We ought to be, as we talked about last week, that oneness. or the husband's leadership in a loving way and the wives submitting to that leadership and working in oneness so that there shouldn't be any real difference other than personalities and whatnot in how we would lead our home when the husband's home or when the wife is the one taking care of the children. The fact of the matter is, it is a rare case to see that synergy and existence in a home. It's a beautiful thing when you see it. Why? Because it's God's plan. And God knows what He's doing. He created us. He created the whole idea of a home. And if we're going to have a strong, good Christian home, we ought to follow God's plan and blueprints for that home. And yes, the room gets quiet when you talk about this subject. But God knows that the husband will not always be right. And that the wife will not always see, though, the wisdom in his decisions. But God instructs the wife to trust Him and to follow her husband anyway. Do you know that sometimes the decision I make is not always the best decision? in a humorous light. My wife is a lot better at knowing the quicker routes to get somewhere than I am. Sometimes she'll say, why'd you turn that direction? Because I felt like it. Because it's the direction I turned. Wasn't really thinking too much beyond that. It's like, well this way's faster. I know, but this is the way we're going. Because I felt like it. It's not a big deal. But the fact is, is I've never had an argument about why I should have gone her direction, even though her direction probably was better. It's a very humorous but not very important aspect, but the fact is, is there are times when a husband says, hey, this is the direction we ought to go, this is what we ought to do, this is how we should handle the situation, this is what we should do with our finances, this is what we should do here. There's a time for sharing input, but when it's decision time, wives are to support their husband's leadership. Period. Without griping, without complaining, without trying to undermine the decision. Full and total support. The other aspect of the biblical order is children obey your parents. God's calling children to obey their parents. This is their role in a home. A parent's responsibility is to see to it that they obey. Oh well, they're not doing their job. I'm doing mine, but they're not. No, it's our job to see to it that they obey. And the fact is, is we ought to demand obedience. We actually should expect a lot of our children. I got this summer, we were visiting some family members, and I got this comment over and over again, oh, you just expect way too much of Reagan. She's only a year old. Well, she understands the word no, so if she doesn't respect and listen when I say no, that's a problem. And she understands come, and if she doesn't come, that's disobedience, and it needs to be addressed. The fact is, we live in a world where parents don't expect anything of their children and they're surprised when they turn 40 and they're still living in their basement. I've seen that with Christian homes. Expect nothing of them. Or you want to lower expectations, whether it be in obedience or even education or anything like that. You want to constantly be lowering expectations. Let's make it more manageable for the children. I understand being reasonable. I don't expect Reagan to read an essay and recite it back to me. But I expect obedience. And I demand obedience. And I demand it immediately. We dealt with that earlier before church. I was studying my sermons, I didn't take a break from that because I told Reagan, I said, look at me. And she wouldn't. And she continued to refuse. And every time I would say to look at me and she didn't, that's disobedience. Needs to be disciplined right then. Sometimes though that spirit of laziness and procrastination gets pulled up and you push it aside. It blows my mind at times when I see a parent will be informed of a child who's done something just awful and kind of unthinkably wrong and we'll deal with that. Oh, no, deal with it right then, if at all possible. If at all possible. Hey, I'm in the store. Hey, leave the store. You can go grocery shopping another time. Your children's upbringing is more important than the carton of eggs. A carton of eggs is too expensive anyway. No, the fact is we need to demand obedience from our children. But the role is to obey and to be led in the pathway of obedience. Proverbs 23 verse 26 says, my son, give me thine heart and let thine eyes observe my ways. You want respect in your home? Be able to tell your children, observe my ways. You know, growing up, I never really could question the spiritual life and walk with God that my dad had. And parents need to be able to say to their children, I want you to follow the way that I live, and that that be a way that is upright and in the Lord. Children need to see examples of godly living We don't want them to simply see. We do not simply want our children's minds, we need their hearts. We can teach them the rote knowledge, but hey, they need to learn to love, to obey. You know, once Reagan finally broke her will, right? This afternoon. Finally. Finally. I hear parents say, oh, but you don't want to break their will. You're going to hurt their psyche. They're going to need therapy. No, their will, just like you and I's, has to be surrendered and broken. Our will is evil. Our will is of the flesh. We need to be surrendered to God's will. The fact is when Reagan finally gave up her rebellion and decided she was going to be obedient, you know, all she wanted is just to be close to me. to be in my lap, to give me a hug, to love me. Why? Because it wasn't just teaching head knowledge, teaching a heart of obedience and a love for obedience. Parents need to provide direction and order and dress and entertainment and the way to shake someone's hand and look them in the eye. The simple aspect, every aspect of life And you say, how do you know that the kid isn't being obedient? Do you have a list of rules? No, but as soon as my dad would teach us, hey, this is how you do this and you ought to do this from now on. Not doing that is disobedience. Period. You know, there are times that I don't want to do it because I don't want to mess up the wall. How many times have I seen adults just leaning against the wall and putting their hands all over the wall? It frustrates me when I see children doing that. Why? It gives me that knot in my stomach like, oh, they're going to get in trouble. Because I was taught that was wrong to do. Because it is. It's disrespectful, you look sloppy, and you're putting your fingerprints all over somebody else's wall. Presumably not yours. If they're a child, every wall is not theirs. They don't own anything. It's not their home, it's your home. And the fact of the matter is, is you teach your children in these things, and then you guide and direct them, and you teach them to obey in those things. And we'll talk about child rearing later, but the fact is, is if your children are rambunctious here and there, there's a job that's not being done. There's a job that's not being done. Children ought not to be running around the church, period. Growing up, children were not to be running around my house. There's got to be an obedience from children that is demanded. We need God's wisdom and balance in raising a godly generation, but we cannot afford to be inconsistent. We cannot afford to be neglectful. We can't afford to be angry. The fact is, is oftentimes when someone reacts in anger to their child, it's because they ignored the problem for far too long. And then finally, enough's enough. I've had it. I'm up to here. I'll give you something to cry about. I mean, all those different terminologies that parents will use. Right? That's wrong. That's wrong. We should train and discipline our children in love and guide them to a heart that loves to obey and to follow Christ. Why? Because you're setting the example. the attributes of a Christian home are salvation through Jesus Christ, surrender to the filling of the Holy Spirit, security through the biblical order, and then lastly, sanctity through godly living. Finally, a true Christian home is a place of sanctification. The members of your family are to be purified through God's word and thereby be more like Jesus Christ. God's plan for your family is that it would be clean, holy, and pure, even in the midst of a wicked society. The first aspect of this is through meditation on the word of God. John chapter 17, verse 17, Jesus said, Sanctify them through thy truths. Thy word is truth. Parents, like I said, we should read our Bibles with our children. As soon as they can read, they ought to read the Bible. If they can't read well, have them read. I started reading the Bible one verse a day. one verse a day, and then make sure that they're reading to understand. And teach them how to better read and study the Bible. And make it a point that in your home, it is a home of meditation on the Word of God. You say, we might miss a baseball game or a football game or two. We might not be able to fit this or that in our schedule. Hey, that doesn't matter as long as we have a home that's filled with meditation on the Word of God. You say, I don't have time to do that. I work long hours at work. Well, work shorter hours at work. This is more important. God will take care of the bills. Teach your children. Make Bible memorization and meditation a regular part of their lives. It's vital. Through the meditation of the Word of God, also through moral purity. A good families, Christian godly families, and churches who miss this struggle with maintaining purity in the home. You're in a battle with an enemy that's committed to the destruction of your home, and you can't afford to drop your guard or lower your standards. Fact is, the devil wants to attack everything that you hold true and wants to break it down. And you say, never in my home. That's exactly who's most vulnerable. I'll tell you a few different aspects of dangerous attitudes we can have The first one is, is a naiveness. Well, my children aren't even aware of that. The fact is, is they probably are. We live in a wicked world with a devil that's trying to attack. Don't take for granted, don't take for granted that the devil's not trying to break down, break down those standards and barriers and the moral purity of your family. Be vigilant. Be ever watchful. You say, you say, I've got a television in my house. OK. OK. Well, what do you allow on that? What do you allow? Well, not to be unsupervised ever. And it ought to be godly. There's cussing come across that screen. Wrong dress. It's wrong. You have a computer in your home. I work on a computer in my home. It ought to have restrictions. Period. I say, oh, this is my computer, my husband doesn't really use this. It ought to have restrictions, period. If you had a lion outside of your home, trying to get inside to destroy and kill and eat you and your family, you'd close every door, you'd lock every bolt, you'd board up every window. We have an enemy without, and it is much more dangerous than a physical lion that wants to destroy each and every member of each and every home. Yet we're fine with the window being open and the door being unlatched. The fact is, sadly, so many times the devil seems much more serious about destroying our homes than we are, as parents, at protecting them. And that ought not to be so. God's looking for true Christian homes, not just a name, but an action. And there should be a difference in our homes. Parents, your children don't have any right at all to privacy, period. So that's their things. Make sure you know what they're up to. Period. Oh, they're just having them time. Their door's closed and locked. Not a chance. Not a chance. You're just asking for the devil to attack. Say, how do you know? Because I was a kid. Because I was a kid. How do you know? Because we have a flesh. Because even the strongest, some of the strongest Christians I know, some of them have fallen. We ought to make sure that we have safeguards in our home. This is one of those finishing touches to the message, but finishing touches to home. You might put an alarm system in. In Idaho, as red-blooded, meat-eating Americans, we'd at least have a gun to protect our home. Hey, we need to protect our home spiritually at a higher level than we, we'll fill a safe full of guns and leave ourselves vulnerable to the devil's attacks. We ought not to do that. But it's not just moral purity, but it's also the purity of truths that we hold dear. Be careful, make sure, something that's important is, your kids get older, get these headphones, and you ought to know what music they're listening to. in your home, protect those moral standards. God's given us a plan. It contains everything we need to truly have a Christian home. Not just have the facade of a Christian home, but to truly have a Christian home. It starts with a focus on salvation. And we've got to know that we're saved. We've got to have a focus on salvation and the gospel in our homes. And then that leads to a surrender, a full surrender to the filling of the Holy Spirit. And that surrender leads to praise, it leads to gratitude, it leads to really us having our focus off ourselves and being a lot less selfish. And that full surrender also leads to a support of the biblical roles for a home. That is for the husband to lead. It's not just a privilege, it's a responsibility. So let's step up to the plate and let's lead. It's for wives to submit and to support their husband's leadership. Wives, you got to do that. Obey the Lord. And then children to obey and parents to make sure and teach them to obey and to demand obedience. And And lastly, to sanctify our family through godly living. We have the plans. We have the foundation. What does it mean to truly have a Christian home? The attributes of a truly Christian home, that's what they are. We'll build on some other aspects of specifics. But I want to encourage you, don't have the mindset that's defensive. Don't have the mindset of, I've got it all said. I already do all of that. If you do, praise the Lord. You've got it together more than I do. But each and every day, we've got to make sure and determine we're going to be fully surrendered to the Lord, and this home is going to be a home of surrender to God by example. And we're going to have these aspects completely, completely ingrained. These are the building blocks of the white car home. And they have to be if I expect to have the marriage, the children, and the home that Christ wants me to have. Let's pray. Dear Lord, thank you for this day. Thank you for Your clear, clear instruction. I pray that we wouldn't be too proud to heed that instruction and to live it. I pray all these things in Jesus' name I pray. Amen.