Welcome to the preaching ministry of Tri-City Baptist Church in Chandler, Arizona. Our desire is that God would be magnified through the preaching of His Word, and that Christians would be challenged, strengthened, and edified in their personal walk with Christ. I invite you to take your Bibles this morning and join me in turning to Ephesians, chapter 6. The sixth chapter of Ephesians, as we've been studying this This letter to the church at Ephesus, if you are using the Bibles there in the chairs, it's on page 816. We have been considering the spiritual aspect of the church, because we often think of the church as a building, but what Scripture brings out is that it's a body. And particularly what we saw in chapter 5, that the church is the bride of Christ. We've come to the very practical aspects. Chapters 4, 5, and 6 deal with how we live. The first three chapters were doctrine, the foundation of what God is doing through Christ in the church to bring Him glory. Now we've come to how that applies, and then in chapter 5, particularly, as we walk in the Spirit, and then it moved into the very, very much the rubber-meets-the-roads area of life. How we serve the Lord and reflect that we belong to Christ in our marriages. Now in our families, the father-son-child relationship, and then in the workplace. And then the last part of chapter six will deal with the spiritual battle that we have. But this morning I want us to consider this area of the parenting aspect that is brought out here in chapter six. Years ago, Lucille Ball, who was known for her sense of humor and comedy, was asked a very serious question. She was being interviewed by Merv Griffin. And he asked her, he said, Lucille, You've lived a long time on this earth, and you are a wise person. What has happened to our country? What's wrong with our children? Why are families falling apart? What's missing? And Lucy's very matter-of-fact response was, Papa's missing. Things are falling apart because Papa's gone. If Papa was here, he would fix it. Now, while the star of I Love Lucy isn't particularly remembered for her social commentary, but much more for her sense of humor, she understood that many of the cultural difficulties that faced our society both then and today are the result of the breakdown of God's plan for the home. God's plan for the family, that scripture shows us that God established the family structure, and we considered that last week. as we considered God's plan for marriage and we went back to Genesis, that the foundation for our, really, of community that God established was the family. One man and one woman, a husband and wife, in a committed relationship that was the priority relationship. Man shall leave his father and mother, cleave to his wife, that intimacy that is brought out there, that this was God's plan, and that children then would be brought into that relationship with a responsibility. And we really see that throughout history, the family has been the soul of the nation. It's the soul that is protected and nourished by fathers. That is our responsibility. And that when you study history, you find that with the destructions of civilizations, they can be associated with the breakdown in the home. That as the home is torn apart, it has impact in the nation. And that's why we looked last week about the importance of our marriage relationships for the unity in the home is going to impact the unity we have in the church. Well, we also have to understand that too often, spiritual training is abandoned, and it's easy to be abandoned by men. But as fathers, if we fail to take responsibility for the spiritual well-being of those that God has given us that responsibility, then sadly, Papa's missing. And that brings consequences. In Hosea chapter six, the last half of that verse, it says, God says, because you have forgotten the law of your God, I will forget your children. That's a very serious warning. And so as fathers, we have a responsibility to first of all come to know God as our personal Heavenly Father. That we're not just left to figure this all out on our own, that we can look to the example of our Heavenly Father. You know, sometimes, and sadly in our culture, many people do not have good examples in their earthly fathers. And we might say, well, I don't have a good idea of what a father's supposed to do because my dad wasn't like that. Well, look to your heavenly father. And look at his pattern. And all of us even as fathers fall short of that, but we have an example. and his love, that God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son. That he seeks out sinners. And he's patient, that he's gentle. These are the examples. And that as fathers, we have this pattern that we can then, in our leadership in our homes, reflect and emulate, both for our wives and then for our children. Because children also need to respond to their earthly parents in a way that recognizes their spiritual responsibility. And when we come to this passage, I find it interesting that this text, that in these verses, children are addressed directly. It doesn't say, now parents, teach this to your children. There are plenty of verses that do say that. But when we come to Ephesians chapter 6, it's addressed directly to the children. So obviously the children at Ephesus that could understand were hearing this as it was being read. If you have your Bibles open to Ephesians 6, follow with me as I begin reading in verse 1. Ephesians 6, beginning in verse 1. Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right Honor your father and mother which is the first commandment with promise that it may be well with you And you may live long on the earth and you fathers do not provoke your children to wrath But bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord Let's look to the Lord in prayer father as we look into your words We pray that we would be not just hearers, but doers, that we would apply it personally. Lord, we pray for our families. We ask that you would give us homes where Christ is Lord and Master. That in this age, and we really live in a culture where the family is under attack, and children in particular, are being corrupted by the culture, help us to do all to stand and to do it as unto You. We ask this in Jesus' name, Amen. I've given you, again, some of the context of what we're considering, but it falls, it's flowing out of the submission to being a Spirit-filled person. We saw that back in chapter 5, verse 18, and through 21. That has really, as we walk in wisdom, being filled with the Spirit, then there's a submission that comes in our relationships. The submission is not the same in each relationship, but it's a realization that we're under God. And so the bookends for the passage we just read really are as unto the Lord. That children are to obey their parents in the Lord. And then fathers are to bring up their children in the nurture and admonition, the training and admonition of the Lord. So we recognize the bookends that all of us are under God's authority. And recognizing that, you know, kind of out of the gate I think is important for us. Because it will be evidenced in daily living. Our relationships of husband-wife, parent-child, and then ultimately in the workplace is the next section. And recognizing, and I don't want us to miss this, that both children and parents can be spirit-controlled. That we sometimes might think, well, you know, my child's controlled with something. Too much candy, who knows what's going on. That's after family fun night. We send them home with bags of candy and say, be warm and filled, have a great time. But they can be filled with spirit. and understanding even at their age. And what I want us to see this morning is that God's wisdom instructs children to heart-motivated honor and parents to intentional instruction, all conducting themselves for the glory of God. That this is our purpose. The first thing I want us to see from this passage is that children will demonstrate God's wisdom in both their attitude and action. The passage, as I've mentioned, was addressed directly to the children there at Ephesus. And so they would have heard this. And we see that as a pattern in Scripture as well. Back in Nehemiah's day, when they found the law that had been lost for some time and they read it, it says, all of those who could understand were present. I read that and say, somebody was working in the nursery that day. And I have great appreciation for those who worked in the nursery. because they really help us, that we can concentrate. But there was an understanding. The first thing that we see though in this passage is that obedience is commanded. Children, obey your parents. The Greek word obedience, it really comes from two words. The words are under and to listen. So the idea then of obedience is that they are listening under the instruction of their parents. To obey is to give a favorable hearing, and really, thus, because of hearing, to submit. So, obedience means there has to be conscious listening. Now, if a child doesn't listen to his parents, he's not going to obey. We find this in Proverbs, the call of the father to his son to listen, my son, receive my sayings. That there's a responsibility to be listening. And the idea of listening includes the goal of understanding. So it means not just hearing, but doing what parents ask. You know, if a child doesn't really listen, they're gonna really struggle to obey. And understanding this, that it's not just hearing words, but it's also understanding what a parent wants. We say that obedience is doing what the authority asks and wants. So if our children are not doing what we want, as parents, we need to make sure we've communicated clearly. But honor and obedience is that they've listened under that. And so, boys and girls, you have a responsibility because it's to the Lord. But parents, we have a responsibility to make sure that they're listening properly. You know, do we teach our children to listen when we speak? You know, you tune out the other ambient noise, all the other voices, when you hear mom's voice or dad's voice. You say, well, I don't know if they can do that. Whisper that you're thinking of going for ice cream in a different room and see if they pick it up. Part of it is parent training as well as child training. But sometimes it's teaching them to look at us. to get eye contact. Do we really think that then when their eyes are glued to a screen or they're caught up in some video game and grunting, uh-huh, that they're actively listening under? Obedience is commanded. And if our children have trouble remembering, maybe we need to have them repeat the instructions back. and say, okay, did you hear what I said? And we get that verbal, I mean, I do this sometimes with our school kids. The other day, we finally got the chairs back. Some of you have noticed in our foyer. We've been working on this for a long time. And part of the damage that had come, just as they got old, but some of the kids weren't real careful with them. So we're trying to train our students, okay, we need to take care of it. It's a stewardship of property here. And so we've told him, look, we've got other seats for you, but stay off of those for right now. And one day I told one of the kids, and he was an older, I think junior high, I said, okay, you need to sit over there. I came back a little bit later, and he's back in the other chairs. I said, okay, did you understand what I said? And I was nice about it, but I said, okay, so I can count on you to follow through now, right? Yes. But I knew that verbal commitment was gonna make the difference. Because it wasn't just, oh, I forgot, it was like, no, you actually responded. Well, parents, we have to be teaching that. Because not only is obedience commanded, secondly, obedience is right. It says, children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. You know, there is a natural law aspect that it's not simply a Christian thing, that you see this with cultures of the world, that almost every culture recognizes the need for children to obey their parents. And when the home breaks down and that disobedience becomes the norm, you see cultural breakdowns. In fact, we see this in 2 Timothy chapter two, or chapter three, verse two, it says, but know this, in the last days, perilous times will come. And then it goes on and explains what's gonna happen in those perilous times. It says, men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure, more than lovers of God, having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof, and from such people turn away. Isn't it amazing that in that list of all these other problems and sins, disobedience to parents is there? But that shouldn't surprise us, because if you read in chapter one of Romans, when it talks about when they reject God, those who knew God and don't glorify Him as God, and they become really depraved in their thinking, one of the characteristics, according to Romans 1, verse 30, is disobedience to parents. that they've rejected God and that disobedience, because it's rejection of God's God-ordained authority. And so we see that there's an aspect where there's a natural law, but it's also a spiritual law. that the child's obedience to their parents is pleasing in the sight of God. And so in Colossians 3, verse 20, a parallel passage to what we find here in Ephesians, it says, children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord. So there's a spiritual dimension of obedience. Boys and girls, you can't please God and be a disobedient child. That's what this passage is telling us. Children are to obey and honor their parents because God commanded it. And what we see thirdly is that obedience involves your attitude. We see that in verse two as it speaks of honor your father and mother. It's more than merely outward compliance, it's that inward honor. And I would say this applies to all of us, that at any stage of life there needs to be an aspect where we honor our parents. Now let me say, honor does not mean letting them get away with evil. There's a love that covers a multitude of sins, but unfortunately there are some pretty wicked things that happen. And letting that go is not honor. Honor is directing them to God. And sometimes that means we need to involve other authorities. Whether that be church authority or governmental authority, because God has ordained both of those as well. And as I said last week, I get nervous when a man is not willing to put himself under any authority, whether it be in a workplace or in a church situation, that what else is going on? Because that's gonna be somebody who's difficult to live with. And recognizing, because these are God-ordained authorities. But honor is an attitude. Honor is one that we seek to sow when the Bible says we're to honor the king. Do you realize when that was written that Nero was the king? So it doesn't mean we agree, but it does mean we have to be careful that our attitude is right. And so we pray, but we seek to give the proper weight that is deserved, that it's an idea of respect, that obedience is submission to God's authority that causes a child to do what he is told to do by his parents, and really, without delay, without excuse, without complaint, and without question. And especially when they're young, the lesson they have to learn is, you know, there is a God and it's not you. Because most kids think the world revolves around them. And when they're babies, it pretty much does, because they need everything done for them. But then to realize you're part of a family structure. So children, you obey God by obeying your parents. Honor is that attitude of submission to God's authority. And for children, it especially is seen in how they speak to their parents. with respect that their parents are God's agent to nurture, direct, and discipline. They're for correction. So when we talk about this in parenting classes, one of the things that we say is, teach your children that they don't speak to their parents in imperatives. They don't give commands. Give me a drink. No, ask, may I have a drink? Because there's a different role here. And recognizing the importance of this, because number four, obedience brings blessing. This is a command with promise. And what we find in verse two, it's actually quoting from the fifth commandment of the ten commandments back in Exodus chapter 20. And Paul states, this is the first commandment with promise. Now, what does that actually mean? Because if you read in Exodus chapter 20, you find that the second commandment, that those who worship God exclusively and spiritually will see his steadfast love and blessing, and it will go to multiple generations. So there really is a promise with that second command. that those who love and obey Him will see that go to other generations. Probably what is speaking of this, it's first in the sense of priority of importance and the first lesson children need to learn. This is the first commandment, learn this. That it will go well with you, that you will live long, that there is this. So what is that blessing? And one of the things we talk about is what we refer to as the circle of blessing. that inside that circle, there's a boundary. The boundary is honor and obey. And when our children honor and obey, they're in that place of blessing. What is the blessing? That it will go well with you, that you will live long, that long life is a blessing of prosperity, of protection, that there's a fullness of life. And we realize that not every child lives long. God is in control, but there's an aspect of prosperity And the truth is, when children obey, it keeps them from danger. That parents want the best for their kids. You know, Christian parents want that, unsafe parents want that. You know, when I was a youth pastor and I had kids in my youth group and their parents weren't safe, I said, look, your parents want the best for you. Now, they may not understand it from a spiritual aspect, but you need to be very careful. And make sure your attitude is that which honors the Lord. Now, if they ask you to sin, then that's a different story. Because you're doing it in the Lord. So there's an authority over them. But normally, parents are going to warn their children. They're going to be spared getting involved with the wrong crowd. I mean, how many times has parents, or when we were kids, did our parents say, you know, I'm concerned about that person? Well, if a child will obey, there's protection. There's warning. There's protection from developing bad habits. Don't get involved in that. Don't do that thing. And there's an element then that those things tend to harm happiness. Wrong friends, wrong habits, running with the wrong crowd, getting involved, you know, that it doesn't bring joy. And from a very practical state aspect, people would rather be around children who are polite, respectful, and obedient. It really goes better for them. I mean, you'd rather have them in class, you'd rather have them in Sunday school. It's like when the one person, they got a new child, and one of the siblings said, when's this person's mom coming to pick them up? It's like, sorry, they're here. But it goes better for those who obey. And the boundary is that of obedience and honor. So what gets a child outside that circle of blessing? Disobedience, disrespect, dishonor, defiance, that they're outside of that. And understanding that as a parent, my desire is I want my child to live in that circle of blessing. And so what do I have to do to get them back? I have to correct, I have to discipline, I have to disciple and say, look, I love you too much to let you live outside of God's blessing. You know, sometimes they say, oh, I love my child too much to correct them. No, you actually love yourself too much. You don't want the hassle. You don't want the fight. You don't want the battle. But I have to say this, I love you too much to let you live outside that. I want you to know God's blessing. I want you to understand that. In fact, it says in Proverbs 13 and 14, he who spares the rod hates his son, but he who disciplines him loves him. and understanding that, that I want my child in there. So really the question is where are our kids? Boys and girls, where are you today? This is a spiritual decision. And then we as parents, particularly as fathers, have a responsibility. So the second thing we see in this passage is fathers will demonstrate God's wisdom in how they instruct their children. that as parents, and particularly as it's being addressed to fathers, and understand the culture of that day, the father really had supreme power in the Roman government. So what the Bible is doing here is saying, Dad, you are under God's authority to show the love of Christ. But as the head of the family, we have a responsibility to lead our families for the Lord. That in Christ-like servant leadership, to encourage, to protect, to show that tenderness that we see in Christ, who is meek and lowly in heart. Come unto me all you that are weary and heavy laden. And God calls us to do that, that as fathers we are called to be the authority in the life of our children, a gracious authority, because gracious authority is a blessing to our children, it protects them. They need our wisdom, our maturity. We have life experience that they don't have. And even as they grow, they've never had that fender bender. How do we help them through that? How do we help them deal with inequities that come when they're treated unfairly? We have to lead. Fathers, we have this responsibility. You know, unfortunately, where the Bible says children obey your parents too often in our culture, and we see this around us, it's parents are obeying their children. I am amazed at how often children are the functional decision makers in the home. Like, hello, any adults home here? Can we have some adult supervision? But our culture doesn't like authority at any level. We don't like to be under authority, we don't like to be authority, There's so many abuses that we can point to but what we have to do is what does the Bible say? What is God's authority? No, there's a negative aspect that begins here fathers. Do not provoke Your children and so the first thing that we see is parental wisdom will not exasperate our children the idea here is is that we don't cause them to become resentful and just seething with irritation and It doesn't mean if I tell them to do something and they get upset that I've provoked them. No, they're not going to want to do it. They want their own way. But it does mean that we're careful, that we're cautious. Colossians 3.21 says, Fathers, do not provoke or exasperate your children lest they become discouraged, they lose heart. I share in our parenting classes, some of you have heard this, but with one of our kids, it tended to be more the passive obedience. Like, they just didn't hear. And they had had some ear problems. They had to get tubes, they hadn't slept through the night until they were 18 months old, and so we thought, you know, maybe there's a hearing issue. And I was really getting concerned as a father, I said, okay, I'm trying to correct my son, I want him to do, I wasn't gonna tell you it was a son, but Caitlin's off the hook. But I personally was, I was getting concerned, am I provoking my son to become discouraged? that if there's a physical problem and I'm trying to correct, and he's not actually hearing, that's on me as a dad. And so we had, took him in for doctor's checkup, checked his ears. We said, could you check, make sure he's hearing? Said, oh, he's got perfect hearing. Said, why did you ask? Just needed to know. Son, let's have a talk. Eye contact. But dads, we have a responsibility not to exasperate our children. recognize that we have to provoke their, understand that we can hurt that tender spirit of our children. You know, the story of the prodigal son, the prodigal son came home not because of the father's criticism, but the father's compassion. He said, I will be better off as a servant in my dad's house. And he rehearsed that line over and over, and I preached on this probably about a year ago, But as he's coming home, he'd gone to a far country, had left the Jewish covenant community, he's having to walk, and he's rehearsing over and over, I'm going to say, Dad, I've sinned against heaven, and in your sight, I'm not worthy to be called your son, but make me one of your servants. He said, I'm better off just being a servant of my dad. I don't deserve to be a son. Of course, we know the story. The father runs out and throws his arms around him. has a party. My son, who was dead, has come home. He's alive again. It was the dad's love that brought him, not his lip. We have to show that compassion, and so it's important that we understand this. It begins with the negative side, and there's a number of ways we can exasperate our children. One is unreasonable demands. Asking our children to do something that is beyond their capacity, their ability as children to recognize what is age-appropriate. You know, we have to be careful that we don't deal mechanically rather than personally. And our kids are different. We have to be realistic and have realistic expectations. You know, as parents, we have to recognize there's a difference between a temper tantrum and a frustration tantrum. Both have to be dealt with, but that temper is a sin issue. The frustration is, I'm not handling life well. And we have to help work through both, but we deal with them differently. I think we can put unreasonable demands on our children if we try to live our lives vicariously through them. Your identity is not in your children, it's in Christ. And we have to understand that, and if we want them to live our dream that we weren't able to, we're gonna frustrate them. Don't vicariously live out your life through your child. Because they're actually not our children, they're God's. He's entrusted them to us. And we need to be faithful, it's a stewardship. Are you an encourager of your children? Because the second thing we can see is that through a critical, fault-finding spirit, You know, sometimes a parent will say, well, I give praise sparingly because I want it to mean something. Then make sure you do the same thing with your criticism. Give it very sparingly. Usually we're pretty free with that. We need to be very free with our praise. Genuine praise will go much further than criticism and motivating. Because we want to see them change and grow for the glory of God. Don't be overly harsh in your spirit. Show the heavenly Father's grace. Don't obscure it. I think a third one is inconsistency. We teach our children, no means don't ask again. We want to be consistent. And unless something changes for a purposeful reason, no today means no tomorrow. We don't have to have the same discussion every day. But if your child gets away with something one day, and then they get in big trouble for it the next day, and it's the same thing, they start wondering, you know, is my dad Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde? You don't want your kid thinking that way. So we need to parent by principle, not by where our patience is. Because some days I'm not as patient as others. Haven't had enough coffee, enough sleep, just everything. But we need to do it as to the Lord. That's the bookend. And consistency takes effort. We also have to distinguish between childishness and foolishness. Childishness is that innocent immaturity. A six-year-old's gonna act like a six-year-old. Children are silly and sinful. Childishness is that silliness. Foolishness is sin. It's disobedience. It may be expressed outrightly. It may be willful temper, self-love, passivity. There's many ways, but we have to deal with that. And we have to be consistent. A fourth thing that can provoke is petty rules or demands. You know, sometimes it's just easier to say no, it doesn't take the thought, but we need to think through things. Let's make sure that we're majoring on the majors and minoring on the minors. Don't correct for your convenience, but for character development, for godliness. I think a fifth one is neglect or favoritism. Sometimes the unwillingness to correct. We had a college student once who was corrected about something and they said, I knew I was violating the rules, but I wanted to see if anybody cared enough about me to say anything. It was a cry for help. And it was done lovingly, graciously, but hey, and it developed a great conversation. Now those are the negatives, but there's a positive as well. And I want us to understand that, as it's saying that do not provoke. that they would lose heart, that they would be angry, but bring them up. And the first thing we see is bring them up is nurture. The phrase bring them up is the same Greek word that's used back in chapter five, verse 29, where it speaks of a man who will care for his own body and nourish it. So that's the word here. It's the idea of feeding, of taking care of ourselves. You know, we ate well on our men's retreat. We had salad. We had egg whites. That was a mistake. And we had a lot of other things. I told our staff this morning, I said, you know what, there were way too many snacks on that retreat. I shouldn't have stepped on the scale this morning, but it was a fun retreat. Well, we tend to take care of our bodies. That's what this word is saying, bring them up, take care of, feed. The emphasis is on that gentleness, that cherishing, that tenderness, that fathers can show, that understanding. I've used the illustration before, but gentleness is me wrestling with my grandkids. They're still small enough, I could pin them easily. But it's that, we have to come with that gentle touch. That's how God treats us. That's what we see in Jesus Christ. And as fathers we must show that. Men are never more true men than when they hold their children. That baby. Loving that third grader. Hugging that teenager. That shows true manhood. Because we nurture. The second one is correct. The training. The idea here that we're bringing them up in correction, and the proper discipline is that which is seeking to train as a harvest of righteousness. This is what Hebrews chapter 12, 11 says, that in the moment of discipline, it seems painful rather than pleasant, but it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained. This is what God's Word does. It trains us in righteousness, according to 2 Timothy chapter 3. And Paul wrote to Timothy, he said that from a child, and the word is actually infant, you have known the sacred writings which are able to make wise to salvation and then to train you in godliness. And so dads, we have to bring God's word to play in our homes, not just at church, but encouraging this. And then the third one is instruct. The admonition, bring them up in the correction and admonition. The instruction, the verbal warnings. Look, I don't want you to do that. I'm concerned about that. You know, there's a very sad illustration in the Old Testament. Most of us are familiar with Samuel. And how his mom had prayed for a child, and she said, if you give me a son, I'll dedicate him to the Lord. And so when he's old enough, she takes him and puts him in Eli's house. And we know the story, in fact we have a song about it, Speak Lord for Your Servant Hears, where Samuel is sleeping one night and all of a sudden he hears a voice calling to him and he runs to Eli and he says, here I am, you called me. And Eli says, I didn't call you, go back to sleep. Let me go back to sleep. And it happens again. And it happens a third time. And finally, Eli realizes the Lord is speaking to Samuel. In that day, that would be how that would... And so, after the third time, he says, okay, go back and say, speak Lord, for your servant hears. Now, we know that part of the story. Do you remember what the message was? The message in 1 Samuel 3.13 is this, what God tells him, for I have told him, speaking of Eli, that I will judge his house forever for the iniquity which he knows, because his sons made themselves vile and he did not restrain them. The word restrain, when it's in the Greek Old Testament, the Septuagint, is the same word translated admonition. said, Eli, you knew the wickedness of your sons, and you did not admonish them. Eli failed to bring up his sons in the instruction of the Lord. So what happens? 1 Samuel chapter 4. Israel goes to war. They're at war with the Philistines. It's not going well, so Eli's sons, Hophni and Phinehas, they take the Ark of the Covenant, and they say, we're not doing well. We want the Ark with us, kind of as a good luck charm. You know, we've got God's presence because of the Ark, and so we'll win. And the Philistines capture the Ark of the Covenant, and they kill Eli's sons. And when word comes back to Eli that his sons are dead, the Ark has been captured by the Philistines, he falls over backwards, breaks his neck, and dies. And then word goes to the wife of Phinehas, Who was pregnant and as she hears that her husband's been killed in battle she goes into labor She has a very difficult time giving birth and just before she dies in childbearing She learned she has a son and she names her son Ichabod The glory of the Lord has departed Now, you may have heard some of those pieces, but that's the whole story. That's the context. And it goes back to, where did this tragic story come from? Because Eli did not restrain his sons. Folks, we need to be careful. We dare not think that our children's disobedience is cute if God calls it corrupt. Yes, sometimes there's a humor in the smallness of that, but when we understand there's a pattern. And God said to Eli, he said that through Samuel, that I'm going to destroy his family because he did not admonish, instruct his sons. What we have to understand is if our children sin, if they disobey, they are in sin. But if we as parents don't correct them when they're in disobedience, we're in sin. And fathers, we can't lose sight of the fact that we're called to be gentle, tender in our instruction and teaching. That when we develop that rapport, that relationship, then we have the bridge over which to give instruction. Because the example is the Heavenly Father. And I want you to see this, turn back to chapter three, because I've said that a couple of times, but I want you to see it in Scripture in the context of Ephesians. In chapter three, verse 14, as Paul is beginning to pray, he says, for this cause, I bow my knees to the Father. And then when you come to verse 15, he says, from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named. He is our heavenly Father. Paul said, I'm praying, and he digresses, and the prayer goes multiple directions, but he's coming to that Heavenly Father who is involved, he initiates love, he sacrifices, and he protects. That's a pattern for us. Because God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son. While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. That we who were enemies, God loved. He wasn't short-tempered. He's not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance. And if you're here today without Christ, or you're watching us by livestream and you've never realized, your sin has separated you from God. But God loves you. He sent His Son that we can have a relationship with Him. And we have that by turning from our sin in repentance and trusting in Christ alone in faith. Salvation is by grace alone. It's the grace of God. Not of works. It's by faith alone. And it's in Christ alone. Do you have that relationship? So how do we apply this? Children, how you respond to your parents is a spiritual issue. Obey your parents in the Lord. Honor them by active listening. Taking care in a way that would bring honor and glory to God. And parents, understand, we may not see the result of all this in this world. but recognizing we're planting and watering. I shared with somebody on the men's retreat. We had a lady in our church in Maine, and she was faithful in church, and her family would come with her on Christmas and Easter, and no other times. And then the Lord started working, and one of her sons-in-law started coming with her, and then her daughter started coming. Well, I did her funeral, and I shared with the family, because she called me shortly before her funeral and said, here's what I want you to say. And believe me, I didn't want to meet her in heaven and have her say, why didn't you say what I said? And I just shared with them the heart of their grandmother. And you know, they started coming. And bringing her great-grandchildren. And consistently, and it went on for years, and I thought, she never saw it in her lifetime. but those seeds that were planted in water brought forth fruit. I tell you that, do not be weary in doing well. You may have a wayward child, say they won't listen. Be faithful. Pray, but children, it's a spiritual issue. And then for us as parents, how we rear our children is a stewardship issue. That they do belong to God. Let's be found faithful. And if you do not have that relationship with your Heavenly Father, that's where it starts. But is Papa missing in your home? Oh, I don't want Papa missing in our church family. That's why I stress that we want our families, we want a church that loves children. Because God's wisdom instructs children. to have heart-motivated honor, not behaviorism, definitely not legalism, check these boxes. No, we're doing it in the Lord. And as parents, to instruct in a way that God will be glorified. Children obey in the Lord, we bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. We are all under the authority of the Lord. So are we faithful this morning? Let's pray together.