A Tuned Heart and Guitar

I have experienced God's undeserved compassion and mercy. As a young woman I was unexpectedly, gloriously, saved, one December night, in 1975.

I had been repeatedly invited to a home Bible study by a Christian co-worker. A co-worker with whom I had some religious discussions with. She just couldn't see her need for Our Lady, Mother Mary. And I clearly didn't get what she was talking about. During a distressing experience, my friend came by unexpectedly. She consoled me and invited me once again to her Bible study she was on her way to. So, that next week I went.

I was desperate and scared. You see, as a devout Catholic, I believed everything I was taught during my Catholic schooling years. And I had come to a point where in a desperate attempt to please God, I was looking for one more religious activity to add to my other regular spiritual exercises. All done to hopefully ensure my place in heaven.

Why? Because I had come to realize that I was in grave spiritual danger! And I had no peace with God. There was another woman who tried to reach out to me and explain the gospel. And from my clear life of sin, and her attempts, I started to realize that I was probably not even going to purgatory to finish cleansing me of sin when I died. No, instead I was actually going to Hell. Which I realized I deserved.
Being yet deceived, I persisted along the Catholic path of righteousness, trying my best to shake off my growing fear of death, through increased Mass attendance during the week and weekly confession with the assigned prayers for my penance. All of which still left me without peace with God. Three Hail Mary's and two Our Fathers now left me with just an empty sick feeling. And I was scared and confused. I blamed sexual sin on my boyfriend. It's all his fault. And we fought about it. And I wondered why I could not go from Confession and penance on Saturday afternoon, to Sunday morning and not sin. Why? Why can't I go to communion at Mass on Sunday morning without the heavy guilt?

Weekly I did several novenas, which are special prayers to Mary or a saint. I said and many rosary’s also, during the week, which are mainly repetitious prayers to Mary. I started making sure I was wearing Brown Scapular as often as possible. Since the promise of Mary is written on every Brown Scapular is that anyone who is wearing the scapular when they die will not go to hell.

In the past, since I was 11, I had started reading the Bible almost daily. Faithfully I read the prayer for the indulgences that is inside the cover of the Catholic Bible, before and after my readings. To add more time to an early departure from purgatory. Also because of a religious retreat I went to, I started reading through the book "Imitation of Christ". I also included a number of litanies in my spiritual routine. I prayed to many saints daily also. Since I was also a frequent attender of a Catholic Church in my town where the Blessed Sacrament was displayed for devotion and available 24/7, I made sure I was there often. They had a VERY special statue of Our Lady of Fatima there. So that was a big plus for my attendance. As I was very devoted to her.

But now it's, a Monday evening in December. 1975. And here I am, about to enter the home of a Protestant bible meeting. I was very uneasy about this. These people don't understand their need for Mary and they might even attack my faith. Should I even do this? But I was drawn to want to. I held my Catholic New Testament and Psalms Bible tightly, and I went in.

God had a reason for me to be there that night! But I just didn’t know it!

Everyone welcomed me warmly, and did introductions. Then these sweet people started singing some Psalms. Psalms that I knew very well from my frequent reading. Though I didn't understand those psalms then. I thought they were beautiful.
But now, as they sang, I was now really hearing them, but with a spark of a desperate longing and knowing. Longing for peace with God and yet knowing I was pathetically lost.

Unexpectedly, while they warmly sung His Word, God worked in my dark, sinful, lost heart.
I sat there, as a slave to my sin and imprisoned in the chains of man-made rituals. Let me borrow the lyrics to “And Can it Be?” which describes my regeneration completely. By Charles Wesley.

"Long my imprisoned spirit lay,
Fast bound in sin and nature’s night
Thine eye diffused a quickening ray
I woke, the dungeon flamed with light
My chains fell off, my heart was free
I rose, went forth, and followed Thee
Amazing love! How can it be
That Thou, my God shouldest die for me?"

I sat there, among the people of God who were singing His Word. Psalm 19:7-11 first then Psalm 25 "Unto thee, O Lord, do I lift up my soul. O my God, I trust in thee; let me not be ashamed, let not my enemies triumph over me. Remember not the sins of my youth. O my God, I trust in thee; let me not be ashamed, let not my enemies triumph over me. Turn thee unto me, and have mercy upon me, turn thee unto me, and have mercy upon me. O my God, I trust in thee, let me not be ashamed, let not my enemies triumph over me." Somewhere in this song, it happened. I was being turned to God for His mercy.

I felt I saw Jesus standing near me. I was on His right side. And I felt as though something was being poured over me.
I then literally felt a burden lift up off of my shoulders! I was then flooded with PEACE. Peach WITH GOD! I absolutely now knew I was forgiven! He forgave me. I was lost. I was now found! Jesus did it in an instant.

I didn’t even know enough to ask for Jesus to do anything. I always sought Mary. I didn’t even really realize the depth of my lostness, I didn’t find Him, but HE instead, FOUND ME!
I sensed that Jesus was right there, and that God forgave me through His shed blood, and I put my faith and trust in him completely. I finally found the forgiveness and peace I longed for. I was born again, and rejoicing as never before.

It was simple. Because it was all His doing. I was helpless. So dead in my endless spiritual activities. Dead in all my sin and my nature.

Jesus did everything necessary for me to be righteous before him. Because He took my rags of self righteousness and clothed me in His righteousness.

He totally transformed me in an instant. Transferring me immediately from the kingdom of darkness to the kingdom of the Son. This was a simple gospel. Not complicated with rituals, empty striving and an invented purgatory.

Praise God! Faith. Simple faith. His work in a heart of stone.
Romans 5:6 God justifies the ungodly.

Needless to say, when I left that Bible study that night, I was walking on a cloud of immense joy and praises to God. I was filled with peace and gratefulness as I now sung to the Lord, those awesome Psalms with a real understanding.
The truth will set you free!
Jesus is the only way. The only truth. And He sets us free, without any assistance from Mary or the saints or dead rituals!

To this day, I walk in gratefulness for His undeserved mercy and grace and am filled with that peace that passes all understanding.
Never again have I hungered to fulfill my religious leanings thru the rituals of a false gospel preaching Roman Catholic system.

That night I embraced a LIVING Jesus as I also cast off the false Mary of the Catholic Church.

I threw out my addicting Catholic religious paraphernalia, ie: rosary and scapulars, prayer cards, statues and the mindset of working for my salvation.
The atonement of Jesus is all I needed. I am a new creature. Filled with faith in Him, and He completes the work He started in me.

"No condemnation now I dread
Jesus, and all in Him, is mine
Alive in Him, my living Head
And clothed in righteousness divine
Bold I approach the eternal throne
And claim the crown, through Christ my own
Amazing love! How can it be
That Thou my God, shouldest die for me?" from the song by Wesley

I love the doctrines of grace! God opened my eyes that night and has given me understanding when I read or hear His Word.
Praise God! No more chains from my nature and my sin and a false gospel.
Jesus is all I need. Praise God!

Click here to learn more..