If you have your Bibles, would you join me please in John chapter four. We're beginning a study today on marriage. The reality that marriage matters and we're covering marriage matters. We are going to be intentional this morning about laying a foundation. And I'm going to be working through two familiar passages of scripture. so that we understand the working solution as we grasp biblical principles moving forward for the success, spiritually and naturally speaking, about our marriages. Have you ever considered what your deepest needs actually are? We all have needs, every single one of us. Naturally speaking, obviously we need to eat. We need to breathe. We need to have food, and we need to have shelter. We have basic needs. We have them within ourselves, and we all have these needs, and honestly, as I studied through this, I tried to pare down what those natural needs are, and it's hard to find any two sources that agree on what our basic needs are. I came across one psychologist who listed six Basic needs of humanity, and by the way, this list was endorsed by Tony Robbins. Yep, that Tony Robbins. Here's the six needs that this psychologist said every human basically has. A need for love and connection. Everybody needs to feel connection with someone or with something. We have a basic need for variety. After all, he said, it is the spice of life. Significance. Who doesn't need to feel special or important to another person or a group of people? He said we need to feel certainty. It's the desire to feel safe, comfortable in our environment. Growth is that fifth. Everything in existence, he said, is either growing or dying. And humans need growth in every capacity. Contribution. It's the act of looking beyond oneself. Beyond one's own needs. Actually mattering to other people. To a cause. To a movement. Being able to leave a legacy. tried to boil down all of humanity into these six basic needs, and to some degree, I agree and understand. I came across another source that wrote we actually only have four basic needs, which seems easier for my brain. So we have the need for acceptance. We need to know that we're loved and know that we're needed by others. Identity. We need to know that we are individually significant and special. We need security. We need to know that we're well protected and provided for. We need purpose. We need to know that we have a reason for living. And I sense somewhat of an overlap in those two lists. The one is six and one is four. I continued to work through trying to identify basically, naturally speaking, what our needs are. And I saw one list that had three basic needs, getting closer to my brain's capacity. One had five, another had seven, and I've already addressed one that had six and four. It seems like there's a general awareness that as humans we have basic needs, we just really can't agree on what it is they are. And I think there's probably some truth, humanly speaking, to all of them. Why does that matter? It matters because our needs become the impetus for much of what we do in life. One said this, we are as strongly driven emotionally to satisfy those base needs as we are to find the right food for our stomachs when we're hungry. Naturally speaking, in our natural condition, we strive to satiate those basic needs. At times, we look inwardly to ourselves and fail. We might look outwardly at work and look for something in our accomplishment or success. Maybe it's in our amassing money or material possessions. Certainly, we look relationally to other people. Sometimes we look to our parents, maybe it's our friend network, even within the church, and there can be absolutely no doubt we look for it in our husband or in our wives. Ultimately, we're all left feeling empty. All left feeling like we've arrived just a little bit short of what would truly satisfy our internal longings. Our lives largely become a series of diversions, but never actually accomplish the satiation of those natural needs. Jesus is aware of that human condition. And as we arrive here at John chapter four, Jesus is going to address the basic needs of humanity. In fact, it will be revealed within here that Jesus can even identify with the basic needs of humanity. And yet, Jesus will turn a conversation to teach us about actual satiation of our deepest need. And in doing so, we'll arrive in Luke chapter six at a final passage of scripture where Jesus will deliver unto us a working solution for the needs that we all live with. But first, let's take a look at human need in John chapter four. In verse four we read he, that is Jesus, must, needs, go through Samaria. Jesus was driven to go through Samaria because of the will of his father to meet this woman we're about to be introduced to. He cometh to a city of Samaria which is called Sychar, right near to the parcel of ground that Jacob gave to his son Joseph. Now, Jacob's well was there. Jesus, therefore, being wearied with his journey, sat thus on the well. And it was about the sixth hour. There cometh a woman of Samaria to draw water. Jesus saith unto her, give me to drink. For his disciples were gone away into the city to buy meat. Now, just establish something as a Bible student with me. John's account, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, is communicating the presence of human need. It pervades this story. Jesus, he has told us, is wearied. Jesus has just asked the woman from Sychar for a drink from the well. Jesus is thirsty. He let us in on the fact that the disciples had gone into a village to buy meat so that they and Jesus could eat. Jesus is also at this moment physically hungry. Now Jesus is declaring unto us His humanity, though He was certainly divine. Jesus is tired, Jesus is thirsty, and Jesus is hungry. And so based on that natural need, Jesus says to the woman in verse 7, give me to drink. You're here coming to the well with your bucket. I'm here seated on the well. Give me something to drink. Now that seems a little coarse, but Jesus is using this moment to turn a conversation for this woman to introduce her to living water. Let's pick the story at verse 9. Then saith the woman of Samaria unto him, how is it that thou, being a Jew, askest drink of me, which am a woman of Samaria? For the Jews have no dealings with the Samaritans. Jesus, in this moment of conversation, is crossing societal barriers. It would have been strange for Jesus to address this woman, period, in this cultural setting. Beyond that, Jesus is crossing racial barriers as he is interacting with a Samaritan woman, and not just interacting with her, but asking if he could take a drink from the bucket that she pulls up from the well. Jesus is breaking societal bounds to talk to her, and she addresses that. A Samaritan was considered impure, and according to popular opinion, she would have been left out. In verse 10, Jesus says this, Jesus answered and said unto her, if thou knewest the gift of God, and who it is that saith to thee, give me to drink, thou wouldest have asked of him, and he would have given thee living water. Now, stay with me, I'm admitting this is a broad study. In this moment, Jesus is telling us about deep spiritual needs. Now, pervasive in this story is humanity's needs. He's tired, he's thirsty, and he's hungry. Now, as this woman has come to the well, Jesus has just communicated under her, her deep needs, her actual needs, her spiritual needs. He has just communicated to her that she's ignorant. Not in an ugly or a caustic way, but factually. She is ignorant of who He is. He is Creator God in the flesh. He is the Son of God seated here on the well. She's ignorant of who He is. He's communicated to her that she is ignorant of what it is He actually has to offer her. eternal life, living water, a spring that will always be a source of refreshment. And the third thing that she's ignorant of in this moment is that she actually needed to ask something from him rather than to simply respond to what he has asked of her. All through this story is human need, base, natural, carnal human need, and certainly spiritual need. This ignorance that this woman lived with still affects us today. If only she knew who Jesus was. If only she truly understood what it was that he had to offer. If only she would capitulate and ask him for it, he could meet truly her needs. Continue now to verse 11. The woman saith unto him, Sir, thou hast nothing to draw with, and the well is deep. From whence then hast thou that living water? Art thou greater than our father Jacob, which gave us this well, and drank thereof himself, and his children, and his cattle? I want you to make note of something in that verse, how verbose this woman is. Now that's not a joke against women in general. from a misogynistic Baptist pastor. It's a fact, just note how verbose she is in her responses. It's gonna stand out here in just a minute. Jesus answered and said unto her, whosoever drinketh of this water, and he's probably pointing at the bucket or the well, he says, shall thirst again. But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst. But the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life. The woman saith unto him, Sir, give me this water that I thirst not, neither come hither to draw. She's kind of curt with Jesus. In effect, she says to him, how are you going to give me water? You don't even have anything to draw from this well with. In essence, do you actually think you're better than our forefather Jacob? Who do you think you are? Jesus overlooks her curtness and describes under her the living water. That's what he has been intentional about. Everyone who continues to drink only this earthly water is inevitably going to thirst again. You're gonna find that you're constantly back looking for more. But for those who will drink of the living water that I offer, and I mean only once, will find that they have within them a never-ending resource to which they can always be refreshed. And the lady responds like any of us would, I want that. Now she's not saying this on her deep needs level. She's saying this on her basic needs level. I want that because I'm tired of leaving the house and lugging this bucket up the hill to this well, filling it up and sloshing it all the way back to the house. I want what you have to offer. Now please stick with me. I admitted to my wife yesterday, even in my office, as I worked to pare this message down, I was like, this one's tough. She said, like tough content? No, like I'm tough about it because people are gonna sit there and think to themselves, what are you talking about, sir? Can you just cut us loose? Not yet. There is human need pervading this story. And if you wonder whether or not there is also spiritual need, which is woven into the fabric of this story, it is clear that Jesus is tired, Jesus is hungry, and Jesus is thirsty. Now I'm gonna jump forward for just a second. Because by the time we get to verse 32, the disciples who went into the village to get some food to bring back to Jesus so that he could eat, arrive back on the scene. And they see Jesus engaged in conversation with this Samaritan woman, and they are dumbfounded by what they are seeing. Now they sheepishly work their way up to Jesus, and in verse 32, they bring Jesus some food, and Jesus says unto them, I have meat to eat that ye know not of. What? When we left, you were hungry. Now we have returned and you're telling us that you have meat to eat and we're unaware of it. Now the disciples are very much like us in verse 33, here's what they say one to another, have any man brought him ought to eat? That's Bible-y, but the disciples are looking at each other and they're saying, did somebody bring Jesus something to eat while we were gone? To which Jesus, overhearing their conversation, says in verse 34, my meat is to do the will of him that sent me and to finish his work. Now, this is so hard to pare down in one study. Human need is very real. Spiritual need is very real. Jesus had human need, but he just taught us something. Spiritual need transcends this human basic need, because though he was still hungry, and though he was at this moment potentially still thirsty, and though he was still tired, he just taught the disciples that actually he was full. even though he's not had a bite of food, because his spiritual needs have been satiated by obeying his father's will and doing his father's commands. Back to the story. Jesus is still addressing human need. He's still interacting with this woman who is at the well, and he's gonna turn the conversation, he's gonna straight talk with this woman, and it's honestly confrontational. He's going to use human need to execute a divine confrontation. Notice verse 16, Jesus, now this just seems to come out of the blue, says unto her, go call thy husband and come thither. Does that not seem out of place? We're talking about political differences. We're talking about societal barriers. We're talking about being tired and hungry and thirsty. The disciples are sent on a venture. Jesus looks directly at this woman and says, go, call thy husband, and then come back. Remember how I said, notice how verbose the woman is, because I now want you to notice how short she is in her response. The woman answered and said, I have no husband. Now, I want you to enter in a little bit to the emotion and the reality of the moment. She has been very confident and verbose with this stranger that is Jesus. She has in fact gone so far as to address the societal barriers that are being overcome. She has gone so far as to address the fact that potentially he thinks he's actually better than our forefather Jacob. Jesus does something that only Jesus can do. He forces her now to look in the mirror. He forces her to look at herself and he says, go call your husband and then come back to which you can almost see her countenance change and her face drop. Maybe her tone's a little more passive and her volume a little more subdued, she says, I have no husband. Thou hast well said, Jesus said unto her, I have no husband, for thou hast had five husbands, and he whom thou now hast is not thy husband. In that thou saidst truly. Now, nobody likes their business spread everywhere, do they? And I can imagine this woman is sitting there in this moment, and obviously she conveys, who are you? To know my whole story. Now, all of us can agree that this woman's life at this moment seems to be an unmitigated disaster. The fact is, she has had five husbands, and the man she is currently living with is not her husband. Now we don't have any insight as to how these five marriages ended. Some of them could have ended in death. The truth is, if we let our imagination run wild, she might have been the cause of the death that ended some of those marriages. And many of the women in here are like, absolutely, dude. Yes, some of you are sitting in here and thinking, I've had one, maybe two, I can't imagine trying this five times, and if I did, I would not have prospect number six in the kitchen. I assure you of that. For whatever reason, this lady's life has become a series of relationships, a passing parade of men, and now she has a live-in affair going on. Here's the truth, none of them have lasted. We don't know why exactly, but we can grasp none of them have ultimately brought fulfillment. And maybe if they had a season, all of them ended without being meaningful at all. I have no husband, she said. And I cannot help but look at this story where human and spiritual need pervade every single verse and grasp that I'm watching an individual live out the pursuit of satiating those human needs and failing miserably. She's made the same mistake many of us make over and over again. She's trying desperately to find satisfaction from within a relationship. And when she couldn't find it within that one for one reason or another, she moved on. And finally at this point, after five failed marriages, a broken heart, shattered dreams, she's settled for the physical. Has it ever occurred to you that the first thing Jesus does for someone is what they refuse to do for themselves. He causes us to tell ourselves the truth. Brings me to a simple understanding that we need to grasp about our marriages. Jesus is going to teach this woman something that all of us need to learn. But this simple illustration in this context teaches me this. No human being can ever meet your deepest needs. Only God can. And if we could discern that simple foundational truth, it can change the lens through which we see our marriages. This is a lady who has human need. It's all through this story. Jesus has taught us by telling us he has meat that they know not of. Spiritual needs can be satiated and they transcend those human basic needs. It's all through here. Confronting her needs, Jesus is going to reveal to her an eternal truth about himself. And the fact is this, you can try five and you're on number six. You could leave number six and go for number seven. The fact is no human being will ever meet your deepest need, only God can. One said, many marriages end in divorce, or at best, disillusionment. Both parties enter into it with unrealistic expectations. Not because they're evil, not because they're irresponsible, Because at base, they have hope for fulfillment from someone else. He said, whenever a Christian doesn't allow God to meet his or her deepest needs, they automatically transfer the expectation for fulfillment to the person or to the people closest to them. When this transfer happens, he said, inevitably, you will be disappointed. You will find disappointment. He said yet further, you will lack the inner resources necessary to love others as you should, because in the list of the fruit of the Spirit, primarily speaking, is love. Unless you have Christ, unless you are indwelt by the Spirit, unless you are saturated with His Word, and under the influence of the Holy Spirit, you can't even love as you should. Third, he said, you will eventually be hurt and offended by the one in whom you invested your trust because that person can't possibly meet your deepest needs. Now don't raise your hand, but how many of you entered into your marriage with some expectations? I try to tell young couples, all that we bring into our marriage is what we know. And sometimes what we bring into our marriages from where we have grown up, we want that replicated and other times we wanna wad up what we've seen and chuck it in the trash and have no part of it. But as we step into that marriage, we do so and we think to ourselves, you now need to be my everything. Every need that I have, you need to meet. Isn't that a stunning expectation? I find it interesting that in the Garden of Eden, when God created Eve, he knocked Adam out. Adam was asleep. Now this teaches us something. Adam did not give God a shopping list. Adam did not say, 5'10", blonde hair, blue eyed, little bit athletic, Little bit of grit and fight, but not too much grit and fight. Don't really have energy for all that grit and fight. Like, Patricia would be a great mother, and honestly, we might blow it with one of our kids, and they did. Like, that's all you had, and your kid's a murderer. Not good, Adam. He was asleep. And the Bible tells us that God formed Eve of Adam's rib, and then in some way, which we can't understand, it's not given to us, but Adam's comatose state comes to an end, and he's aroused awake, and when he stands up and clears his bleary eyes, there she is. And the moment that he sees her, we have this verse. This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. And they too were naked and they were unashamed. It's communicated to us that every need that Adam had would be satiated in his help meat and that Eve would find all that she needed in the leadership and provision of Adam. God's divine design for humanity is one man and one woman in a God-honoring way for life. But make no mistake about it, that was the Garden of Eden wherein there was no sin and in very short order they wrecked their family. They're hiding behind bushes. Their son is actually a murderer. They're removed from the garden, and life begins for all of us under the curse of sin, from which we can devise. Not one of us in here has the capacity to be someone else's absolute everything. In fact, Jesus is going to reveal to her that very truth. that her need is not more water from this well or an automated system to get water in her house. Her need is never gonna be satiated in another man that she parades through her dwelling. Her need is only gonna be satiated in him as the Messiah and her placing her faith in him, her trust in him, her belief in him for eternal life and ultimately the living water of which he speaks. Sometimes we simply, within our frustrated marriages, remain silent and become distant. Other times we boil over with angry words and we do real damage. Thinking for some reason that if we can only refine this individual and only perfect this faulty individual, finally our needs will be met. Always living in disillusionment. Always merely surviving from one distraction to the next until we can learn that our deepest needs can only be met in God. That our truest needs can only be met in Jesus. As I conclude with one simple illustration from scripture, Jesus is going to give us this working solution. Luke chapter six, Jesus is gonna tell us about a construction project. And when he reveals this construction project to us, he's teaching us something eternal. In Luke 6, verse 47, Jesus says this, whosoever cometh to me, and heareth my sayings, and doeth them. Get what Jesus is saying. If you will come to me, that's salvation. If you will hear his sayings and do them, I'll show you to whom he is like. He's like a man which built a house. and digged deep and laid the foundation on a rock. And when the flood arose, the stream beat vehemently upon that house. could not shake it, for it was founded upon a rock. But he that heareth and doeth not is like a man that without a foundation built an house upon the earth, that is, the sand, against which the stream did beat vehemently, and immediately it fell, and the ruin of that house was great. Jesus has just told us a story, stick with me another two minutes and I'll be completed. We know that human need and spiritual need pervades John four. Jesus has addressed that issue, telling her ultimately, you must believe in me. And in Luke chapter six, he has rounded the corner to say, here is success. The individual that comes to me, hears my words, and does them, I'll tell you what that person is like. They're like an individual who has built a house, dug deep, found bedrock, and put their house on that rock's foundation. And I'll tell you what the individual who hears me, who hears my words but doesn't do them, I'll tell you what they're like. They're like somebody who built a house but laid no foundation. Now what's interesting here is Jesus tells us nothing about these two houses. We don't know if they're split level, if they're a ranch, if they're multi-level. We don't know anything about the grandiose design. We don't know anything about building materials. All that we are left to perceive is that these two houses by these two builders were built in the same neighborhood. Using the same building materials and more than likely the same blueprints. We're told about a storm which comes, floods rise, and a stream beats vehemently against these two houses. It is only this storm that ultimately reveals the quality of the construction work. For one stands through the storm, the other collapses in the storm, and the collapse of that house is great. Not great. It's a mega catastrophe. It is a total loss. It is utter failure. Now that storm, in those verses, as one Greek scholar, that's what they would be called, not me, like a Greek scholar, said this is the description of just a normal annual autumn storm in the fall. This is not some great, natural, cataclysmic event. This is not some catastrophic, once in a lifetime arrival. This is an annual storm. In effect, this is a storm you can't escape. This baby's gonna show up once a year, maybe multiple times a year. It's real life for everybody and these houses were built and they're built out of real stuff just like everybody else builds them. There's only one difference. One dug through and found the bedrock and built there. The other just laid no foundation and built on the sand and didn't survive. Now we're not told why they would build that way. Maybe they were just simply trying to save a little time and effort. Maybe it was cheaper this way. Maybe interest rates were running up. Maybe that others around them built on the sand and they were fine. Maybe a storm had never come through this neighborhood before. Whatever their reason for failing it, they just weren't quite as secure. Keep this in your mind. As Jesus speaks, when those houses encountered the storm, the stream did beat vehemently, and immediately it fell, and the ruin of that house was great. And as I said, that last word, great, is literally mega. It's a total loss. It's over. Because they didn't dig through to the bedrock. They missed on it. Now, I want you to grasp this. The house that stood, they probably still had to take buckets and clean the basement out. They probably still had to rent a pressure washer and clean up, because look, storms do leave residue, even on houses with a firm foundation. I don't mean that that house was perfect. I don't mean it never needed cleaned up. I don't mean that it never needed maintenance, but it stood when the other collapsed. And I'll paraphrase loosely, in effect, what Jesus has said. If you work these words of mine into your life, then you're like a builder who digs deep and lays the foundation of his house on a bedrock. And when the river inevitably bursts its banks and crashes against your house, nothing will shake it. It's built to last. But if you just hear my words, you hear them in Bible studies, or you hear them in church, and you don't work them into your life, then you're like a builder who skips laying the foundation. And when the swollen river comes crashing in, it collapses like a house of cards. It's a total loss. I love what another said, the sound of crashing marriages around us isn't evidence that marriages don't work, but rather a demonstration of the lack of solid foundations to those marriages that fail. It is no coincidence in a world that has rejected God's truth that failing marriages are the norm. Now I'll wrap by simply saying this, if you and I do not live our lives according to the mandates of scripture. If we do not take the truth of God's word and weave it into our lives by obedience to it, then we are inevitably going to fail. I don't mean as a fear tactic, your marriage isn't gonna make it. And I'm not saying you better come to this church and do everything that I say. I'm saying hear the words of Jesus and live them out, and you have a foundation. When the storm inevitably comes, you can stand. Live your life like God doesn't matter and the truth of scripture is irrelevant. Live according to your own wisdom and let other people tell you and define your existence and that storm which inevitably is gonna come is going to blow your house up and the damage will be mega. All of us come into this room with basic needs and with spiritual needs. Those basic needs become the impetus for much of what we do, and we strive so hard to satiate them and find fulfillment in every way. And when we arrive with Jesus at the well in Sychar, He's telling us something. You can look everywhere high and low. You can try relationship after relationship after relationship. You can cash this one in and try another, but until you recognize that I'm the only way to satiate your needs, you will never succeed. which leaves us wondering, so tell me, Jesus, how do I do that? And in Luke 6, he says, I'll tell you specifically how to build something on a rock foundation. Come to me, salvation, hear my words, be exposed to scripture, weave them into your life and live them out, and you're just like somebody who built on a bedrock foundation. Storm's coming, can't escape it. House may need pressure wash, sure. Basement may need bailed out, I get it. Windows may be replaced, I understand. Bushes need trimmed, I get it, but you can stand. But I'll tell you what, if you simply hear and never do, storms that inevitably come are gonna wreak havoc, total loss. It's not a scare tactic, it's just the truth. Would you please for just a moment bow your heads with me? Thanks for listening this week to the Graceway Baptist Church Podcast. For more information about our church and our ministries, head on over to our website at gracewaycharlotte.org. We are a church located in South Charlotte. We are growing and our ministries are doing big things for Christ. If you're looking for a way to get plugged into what we're doing, email us at info at gracewaycharlotte.org. Also, stay in the loop with everything happening by following us on Facebook and Instagram. Our handle is GracewayCharlotte. Thanks again for listening to the Graceway Charlotte Podcast. We'll see you next week.