Marks of a godly family that we'll be looking at today, as we've been looking at a number of these, is loving discipline. And this is one that I don't have to tell you has been something that our world, in our world there's many voices who would be against loving discipline as the Word of God would define it. In fact, something that caught my attention on the Sermon Audio news page a few weeks ago was this headline, Presbyterian Church USA Passes Resolution Against Spanking Children. 220th General Assembly passed a resolution, it says, against using corporal punishment on children. Many Christians believe corporal punishment is a biblical practice. Proverbs 13, 24 says, whoever spares the rod hates their children. But the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them. Still others believe, and they quote someone from this assembly of churches that says, quote, let us love them and not hit them, said Commissioner Susan Mara of New Hope Presbytery. Did you catch those two quotes and how they put them back-to-back? Susan defends their anti-spanking vote by saying, let us love them. And God's Word, which the article quotes right before that, says a parent who loves their children is careful to discipline them. And that verse mentions the rod, which is the Hebrew term for corporal punishment or discipline. And the Old Testament context is clear that it is careful and loving Discipline and so we have Susan versus scripture versus the psychologists versus secular studies. If you don't know, the PCUSA is the liberal wing of Presbyterians in the USA. There's a number of other conservative groups, PCA, OPC, and others. But in some areas, the PCUSA is actually more liberal than the USA's government or even some of the laws here in California. This was what their actual resolution, line two, calls for. Quote, calls upon all states to enact licensing laws prohibiting corporal punishment. You may remember California tried unsuccessfully to do that a while back to make a law banning spanking a few years ago in this liberal state. But this church calls for a national ban on spanking, which studies still indicate 80% or more of even liberal Americans practice or have practiced The article goes on to say, a study published online by the journal Pediatrics in July of 2012 suggests there is a link between the harsh physical punishment of a child and mental disorders. Harsh physical punishment was defined by being at least sometimes physically punished through pushing, grabbing, shoving, slapping, or hitting. And then the article says, these punishments are generally considered more extreme than the conventional use of paddling. And I would add to that, current law and God's law both forbid abuse. But what's interesting about that statement there in that article is the study that they used to support anti-spanking initiatives, their study was focusing on punishments other than spanking, as it very clearly said. in that statement, things they call, quote, harsh, more extreme than paddling. And I've read all kinds of articles like that. You have to read a big stack of them if you want to adopt nowadays. And these studies never are covering non-harsh, non-abusive, non-angry, loving corporal discipline as the Bible would define it. In fact, a study not too long ago from UC Berkeley's research psychologists addressed the annual meeting of the American Psychological Association in San Francisco said this, quote, we found no evidence for unique detrimental effects of normative physical punishment. And this psychologist says, I'm not an advocate of spanking, but a blanket injunction against its use is not warranted by the evidence. And then she says this, what really matters is the child-rearing context. When parents are loving and firm and communicate well with the child, the children are exceptionally competent and well-adjusted. And that's coming from a very liberal psychologist who isn't pro-spanking in one of the most liberal parts of this country. The article title is, UC Berkeley Study Finds No Lasting Harm Among Adolescents from Moderate Spanking Early in Childhood. But the PCUSA, and this, just read a little bit more and then we'll get to our study here. Their General Assembly also affirmed and expanded the PCUSA's support of abortion. There were some in that same meeting who wanted their health plan to only fund abortions if a mom's life was in danger, but not the majority of the Presbyterian Church USA. And so if you didn't catch that, they didn't vote to end some abortion, but they did vote to end all spanking. So my cliff notes to the assembly are no loving correction of kids, but if you don't love ones in the womb, you can kill them. Let's see how messed up our culture is becoming. Discipline them after birth? No. Death penalty pre-birth? Yes. For those who have done nothing wrong. Let's make sure what scripture says is against the law and let's ignore the law of God that treats killing the unborn as murder. Exodus 21. 22 through 23. No more corporal punishment if kids are guilty of rebellion and defiance, but capital punishment is okay on innocent, unborn kids. Educating children as scripture says? Nah. Executing babies? Sure. I mean, can you even fathom? This is not something you can make up. This is where our world is, even many who would be sitting in churches today, over two million of them. or at least the majority of that denomination. The PCUSA did pass a resolution on protecting the environment of the planet, but did not pass a resolution to protect the unborn in the more fragile environment in the womb. And this, to me, sounds very much like Romans 1.25. They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and they worshipped and served created things rather than the Creator. That's where our world is. And I want us to see the truth of God today in Ephesians chapter 6, verse 4, in exchange for the lies of the world and so-called churches that no longer preach the gospel. There is such a thing as loving discipline. And the reason it's important we study this is because of the gospel, the gospel that is denied by many who meet in churches. The gospel tells us that God the Father in love adopted us. That's how Ephesians 1 verse 5 begins. And because He loves us as true sons and daughters, He disciplines us. And that includes chastisement and includes what we feel at times, Hebrews chapter 12. And if we think that all discipline including physical pain, isn't loving, then we are misinformed and we have to misinterpret many Bible verses and we also misread what God is doing in our life as our Heavenly Father. We misunderstand that our pain is part of His love And we miss out on the training and instruction that He intends as a loving Father through the pain that He brings into our lives. And Ephesians 6 verse 4 says, Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. That's a great picture of balanced, loving discipline. Some Bibles use the word training. In verse 4, the King James uses the word nurture. We could call it nurturing training or loving discipline of the Lord. The Lord Himself says in Revelation 3.19, those whom I love I discipline. He says, those I love I reprove and I discipline. Same word as here. And He says, therefore be zealous and repent because He loves us. He disciplines us. He reproves us as His children so that we'll repent. And turn to Hebrews 12 just to kind of see another key passage that introduces this whole subject well, I think. Loving discipline in Scripture includes reproof verbally, as I read there in Revelation, as well as physical chastisement in the case of children. And this is as important as last week's message on honoring authority. Ephesians 6, 4 is addressing parents, but the principle has application for all of us, and it's important for all of us to understand that loving reproof is part of discipline and discipling. That's why Jesus says that in Revelation 3, verse 19. He loves us, so He reproves us, and He disciplines us, and He often uses His people as a part of that process. And it's also important for us to understand this, to understand that church discipline is loving as well. Luke 17, 3, Matthew 18, verse 15. And the point and the goal of church discipline, when we come alongside others, is also repentance and restoration, just like the Lord's reproof in our lives. And it's also important for us to understand that God loves us when He spiritually spanks us. Hebrews 12 says, for those whom the Lord loves, He disciplines. And He scourges every son whom He receives. Not just timeouts. Not just taking away toys, he also trains in ways that bring some pain to us. The biggest Greek dictionary says, scourges here means to impart corrective discipline in this context for the education of a beloved child that may sometimes demand blows of God's educative love. And the context, as you keep reading here, is not to harm or to injure. The context is to help and to instruct in fatherly love. The whole context of verses 7 through 11 goes on to talk about our earthly father's discipline. And as he talks, it's taken for granted that this is how all societies are. He's assuming all the readers have experienced this. And in a greater way, our Heavenly Father is even greater in His love for us through this process. Just as a newborn son right after birth receives blows to the backside and the baby doesn't really understand or appreciate it at the time, but it's helping him cry and clear out crud so that he can breathe and he can live. Our Father God receives us and he rears us as children, including loving discipline for our ongoing growth. And because God views us as sons, He loves us and He disciplines us and He reproves us and He restores us to Himself by chastising metaphorically or even physically at times. You say, how does God discipline us physically? Well, Paul talks about his own afflictions and suffering and a thorn in the flesh that he had received for his good, which is language very similar to Hebrews 12, verse 10. Because God loves us, He reproves us to help us live and grow and discipline. The New Testament theological lexicon says the scourge in verse 6 was the special implement of Israelite discipline, Hebrew Musar, whether yielded or wielded by the Father or by God Himself for the perfecting or purifying of His own people. And He explains that there is some temporary pain in verse 11. It's sorrowful. It doesn't seem Wonderful at the time but verse 10 says it is temporary and it is for our good to be made a lycan through short-term pain for our long-term gain And I want to come back to that before the end of this message But it may be part of the reason why Ephesians 6 4 says and you can turn back there We'll conclude in Hebrews 12, but Ephesians 6 4 says fathers are bring them up in discipline. And I think that is pointing to fathers as the heads of their earthly family. But I also think there may be part of the reason why he addresses fathers is because this is ultimately to point us to our Heavenly Father. Paul explains at the end of Ephesians 5 that a husband's love for his wife pictures the love that the Lord has for his church. And the loving discipline of father to child pictures God's love to his child in Hebrews chapter 12. But we need to start with earthly fathers and then end in the heavenly, Ephesians 6 verse 4. It says, Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. And the outline that flows right out of this is how not to discipline, and then how to discipline, and then the why of discipline. How not to discipline right there in the text is do not provoke your children to anger. How to discipline is to bring them up in discipline, instruction and the why is that last phrase of the Lord and this has to do with the Lord's love for us in the gospel his fatherly loving discipline of us and next week will consider the last part of the verse the instruction of the Lord by fatherly instruction and shepherding and family worship and discipleship and some of things that flow out of that but let me repeat what I said last week I am no expert as I stand here this morning and deliver this message that God has ordained to be the next message in the study going through Ephesians. I'm not an expert except maybe in some of the ways not to discipline that we're going to look at here. A number that I've been guilty of and some that still convict. And I can tell you honestly, this hurts me as much as it hurts you. As some of us have heard in a disciplined context before. I felt the reproof and chastisement of my loving Heavenly Father who disciplines me to make me more like Him. And my earthly parents are here, and when they brought me up in the Lord, I received many reproof and physical chastisement from them, and I deserved all of them, even the pine cone incident. I'm sure I deserved more than I got, but I want to publicly honor my father and mother by saying thanks for the Spanx. Thank you for loving me and not sparing the rod. And I really am blessed to have in my own home growing up a great model and example of both sides of what Ephesians 6 verse 4 talks about. So let's look at this together. The first side is the warning of what not to do. not to provoke children to anger and the reason why this is important in the context of the fusions is because anger that is unresolved and not dealt with gives the devil a foothold ephesians four verse twenty seven and so we're not to provoke of the some versions say exasperate the parallel in colossus three twenty one says fathers do not in bitter your children or they will become discouraged. And so what are some ways that parents can provoke anger or exasperate or embitter? And I want to look at these together. There's a list here that we'll go through, and I'll just leave this up here. The first one is, number one, not giving grace. And I want you to notice how Paul starts in Ephesians 1, verse 2, how he prefaces everything in Ephesians with grace to you. And that's not just a formality. That's the foundation of everything else in the letter that Paul does, including Ephesians 6 and verse 4. And we're talking about grace here. We're not talking about grace instead of discipline. We're talking about communicating grace even in discipline. I think a book that gives a great contribution to this subject is Elise Fitzpatrick. Her book is called Give Them Grace. And she writes, in contrast to much parenting teaching on easy steps or hints for success, that parents and kids need above all a Savior who has gone before them, who was a child himself, and who lived and died perfectly in their place. We need, she says, the gospel of grace and the grace of the gospel. grace, or the free favor that has been lavished on us through Christ, ought to make our parenting radically different from what unbelievers do. The gospel message tells us that we are all, parents and children, both radically sinful and radically loved. At the deepest level, then, of what we do as parents, she says, we should hear the heartbeat of a loving, grace-giving father who freely adopts rebels and transforms them into loving sons and daughters. The gospel needs to transform your parenting and mine. And that's the first one. The second one is not pointing them to God's resources. And I'm just kind of going through how Paul gives the balance or the positive pattern here and how he, to his spiritual family, addresses them. God as father gives to children his spiritual resources. And I don't want to be like a pharaoh expecting bricks without straw. I want to be a father telling them of my Father's provision for them. 2 Peter 1.3 says everything pertaining to life and godliness. And then another one would be not praying for and with them, number 3, as Paul does in Ephesians 1, verses 15 through 19. Tim Chester's excellent book called The Gospel-Centered Family explains on this point, we can change behavior at least a bit for a while, but we need a Savior to change our hearts. He says, acknowledge that what you're asking is hard for your child. And you can say something to him like this, we need God's help, don't we? How about we pray about this? He says, Godly discipline highlights for a child their need for Christ. Another way we can provoke anger is by self-righteousness, which would be forgetting what we were in Ephesians 2, 1 through 3. We don't have any of our own righteousness at all. In fact, some of the ways this could be manifested is by ungracious reactions to their sin. What were you thinking? Why in the world would you do that? Or by forgetting what we were and are, which is sinners, and say something like, I would never have done that when I was your age. We need to remember what Ephesians 2 verse 3 says. Among them, we too, all, formerly lived in the lust of our flesh, indulging the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and we were by nature children of wrath, even as the rest. And verse 12 says, remember that you were. At that time, separate from Christ, excluded from the commonwealth of Israel, and strangers to the covenants of promise, having no hope, and without God in the world. We need to remember that's what we were, but God in verse 4. We weren't better, it was but God in verse 4 who saved us and raised us and changed us. Number five would be legalism, and some of these kind of go together. And what I mean in this context is giving our kids the impression that obeying our rules or doing good works makes them pleasing to God. And any true Christian parent knows that the law couldn't save us, but if we're not careful, we might give the impression that the law saves our kids. That's what our confidence is in, or that rules are what sanctify them or keep them saved or keep them safe. But the law, whether it's ours or God's, cannot save Galatians 2, 21. And it cannot sanctify Colossians 2, 20 through 23. It is a yoke that neither we nor our forefathers could keep, as they say in Acts 15. We need the gospel. We need the grace of our Lord Jesus. Ephesians 2, 8 says, for by grace you have been saved. through faith, and that not of yourselves. It is the gift of God, not as a result of works. And Titus 2, 11 and 12 says this, the grace of God has appeared. And he says this grace is training us to renounce ungodliness, unworldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives. Don't we all want that for ourselves and for our children? Denying ungodliness worldly passions living self-controlled upright and godly lives Titus 2 11 says it's the grace of God that trains us to this Another barrier can be pride and this is where at the end of Ephesians 2 verse 9 continues and says so that no one may boast some of the symptoms Pride it can manifest in parenting is Not humbly receiving correction from a spouse or a child when we sin. Never admitting we were wrong. Self-centered reactions. How could you do this to me? It becomes about me. Or even just being more concerned of what other people think of my parenting. Ephesians 4-2, which also is all preceding and leading up to Ephesians 6-4, says, as we walk, we're to walk with all humility in two verses earlier he says it's all about God's glory to God be the glory it's not about me it's about God's glory and as we walk for God's glory it should be with humility another barrier would be harshness and number seven and this also is right there in Ephesians 4 verse 2 the antidote is Paul says we're to walk with humility and gentleness impatience is another one Also, in that same verse, it says, with patience. And I like the statement in Psalm 103. You could add Psalm 103, 13 and 14, which has this statement, As a father has pity, or has compassion on his children, that's how God has compassion on us. For He knows our frame. He's mindful of our frame and who we are. We are but dust, but He is compassionate to us. number nine not speaking the truth in love and we could park on any number of these and and give illustrations but i give these to you if you want to write them down and meditate on them later if you do if you don't have a pencil to write them down i'll put these on the website on our sermon notes but these are good things to meditate and and think about number ten focusing on the externals only and not their heart and really the inward is the focus of biblical change in ephesians four to 24. Ted Tripp writes in his excellent book, Shepherding a Child's Heart, he says, change in behavior that does not proceed from the heart is not commendable, it is condemnable. It's heart change that we ultimately want. Number 11, sarcastic, ridiculing, or demeaning speech that doesn't build up, Ephesians 4, 29. It talks about only what should come from our mouth is what is good and what is according to the need of the moment and what will give grace to those who hear. It will build them up or will edify them. Number 12 would be unloading on them our anger, our wrath, our clamor, our yelling. Those are all terms right out of Ephesians 4, 31 that we're to be putting aside. And then we're to be putting on forgiveness. We can provoke to anger when we don't forgive or when we don't ask forgiveness. Ephesians 4, verse 32, or number 14, by self-centeredness rather than sacrificial love, Ephesians 5, verse 2. And these are all things that are in the context of provoking to anger. Ephesians 6, 4 talks about children, but these are things for all of our lives to think about. and the husband and wife not being united. We talked about that last one, Ephesians 5, 22 through 33. Lou Priola's book, The Heart of Anger, gives 25 ways that parents can provoke anger. Some of these and some others, including being a child-centered home, hypocrisy, inconsistency, favoritism, comparing Not giving enough freedom when it's appropriate to do so or giving too much freedom not really listening to or taking time to talk to and invest in our kids and This is convicting to read these things and what he says is he gives forth four things in response to this one number one identify specific way or ways that you have been provoking your child. And confess those sins to God. This is where the healing and the cleansing and the comfort comes. 1 John 1.9. Ask your child's forgiveness for your sins against him. James 5.16 says confess your sins and pray for one another. develop a plan to replace those simple behaviors with their biblical alternatives. Proverbs 28 verse 13 says that if we conceal our sin, we're not going to prosper, but if it comes out in the open, then God will bless that. And then consider specific ways that we can provoke our children to love and good deeds, because that's the positive in Hebrews 10, 24. Let us consider, let us think about, let's meditate on ways that we can provoke one another towards love and towards good deeds. Provoking isn't all bad. Provoking can be a very profitable thing if we're provoking them towards love and good deeds. And again, that's painful to go through. But it's for our good. Hebrews 12, 10-11 says that our Father, when He convicts us, it is for our good. And again, I say, it hurts me as much as it hurts you. But God's fatherly love doesn't leave us with the how not to. In His love, He tells us how to discipline lovingly, following His own pattern. Ephesians 6, verse 4. Bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. And we don't have time to adequately cover instruction, which needs another sermon. But for today, I want to conclude with this first part there. them up. That's the same word as Ephesians 5, 29, to nourish and to cherish them. And he says, bring them up in discipline. And this word paideia seems to focus especially on the younger years. The last part of verse 4 instruction also starts when they're young, but is to grow beyond discipline as they grow. There's one other place where this word is used outside of Hebrews 12. 2 Timothy 3, 15-17. Let me read it to you. Paul is talking to Timothy and he says, "...from infancy you have known the holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith that is in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is inspired by God." Or as God breathed in NIV, and useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training. There's that same word, paideia, in righteousness. So it's the Word of God that is to be training us in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. And so this training, this loving discipline from his Jewish mother that Paul mentions earlier in the letter, it seems his father was not a believer. This training in the scripture began in his early childhood, from his earliest times he could remember. And this is what the Lord used to take him from baby to boy to the man of God, thoroughly equipped for every good work. This is what took him from little Timmy to pastor Timothy. And this is also a reminder to moms who are seeking to be faithful with husbands who may not be faithful. It's a reminder of the potential and the power in scripture-filled discipline and training. Scripture is sufficient to produce a man of God, even with an unsaved dad or even with no dad. Turn back to Proverbs 3, if you would, and I want to highlight some of the very scriptures that Timothy, as a Jewish boy, would have learned that were able to make him wise to salvation. That word discipline, paideia, from Ephesians in the Greek version of the Old Testament occurs most often in the book of Proverbs. Proverbs 3, verse 11. It says, My son, do not reject the discipline of the Lord. That's the same expression as Ephesians. Or loathe His reproof. For whom the Lord loves, He reproves, even as a father corrects the son in whom he delights. This is loving, corrective discipline. Look at Proverbs 13. 24, I read it earlier. He who withholds his rod or spares his rod, one version says, will not use the rod, hates his son. But the one who loves him disciplines him diligently. And the ESV marginal note says, the end of verse 24 can be translated, he who loves him disciplines him early. The idea is not early in the morning necessarily, but early in life for the good of the rest of his life. while a child is young. Another proverb says, while there is hope, discipline him. There may be a time where that is too late. There's five Bible versions I could find that paraphrase the rod as spanking in Proverbs 23, 13. Some Hebrew sources suggest rod was originally a word that came from the term for a branch or a small stick, or what in older English was called a switch. Duke of Windsor said years ago, sarcastically, everything in the American home is controlled by switches except the children these days. I think he was being a little cheeky. J. Vernon McGee spoke of the board of education for the seat of learning. There are times for a board meeting, parent-child conference. Takes that sometimes to get to the bottom of things. Pardon the pun. No more puns. But in all seriousness, we do need to make clear that spanking is not to harm our child, but it is to help them and it is to get their attention. And it should never be done in the heat of anger, should always be in control, should always be done in love. And we know this from other Proverbs about self-control and Proverbs about anger and Proverbs about violence and Proverbs that forbid abuse. And all those things are very clearly part of the context of the rod. for loving discipline. And I said half-jokingly talking about the board of education, but we're not talking about a literal big board, just to make that clear. When we talk about a rod, we're not talking about a metal rod. That's a figurative expression for corporal discipline. Some would say the Hebrew concept could include the open hand giving firm spanks to the rear end. There are some who would give psychological objections to that. But scripturally, it seems that the concept could include any spanking or what some in modern times might call giving a whooping on the behind. The ancient Egyptians' saying was that sons have ears on their backsides. That's what the ancient Egyptians said. They have ears in the rears, if you will. They have ears on the backside. They listen. Proverbs 29.15 says, The rod and reproof give wisdom. The rod and reproof can make someone wise, even as it makes their bottom smart. biblical discipline may hurt but it doesn't harm and the goal is to break the will not to break the skin my mom could tell you she broke more than one wooden spoon on my ludius maximus which wasn't hurt as much i'm trying to avoid certain words you don't want your kids to say it both proverbs ten thirteen and proverbs twenty six three says the rod is for the backside of sinners god has providentially padded a certain portion of our hindquarters. And I think it unwise to apply a rod elsewhere. And there are some that would teach otherwise. I've read Michael and Debbie Pearl saying, for example, to use a rod or a switch to spank him on the hand, the leg, the calf of the ankle, the thigh, or whatever is conveniently exposed. And I don't think that's wise. I know some people love their books, but I think And on this comment of Proverbs 10, 13, I think he mishandles Scripture when he talks about how it says the rod is for the back, and this is what he says, "...that would include anything that is not the front, the back, from the shoulders down to the feet." He says in one place, "...you can spank half as hard on the back with a light, stingy switch and be more effective than spanking harder on the bottom." I think that's the sort of thing that can be easily abused and can easily lead to abuse, and so I have to caution against some of things you might read out there if you want a better book i think better handles uh... the biblical uh... texan on this subject here ted trips books a number of others that we have on our website is recommended reading from our elders and not only handle is better but handle the gospel better bring it together but of course we need to look to the word of god and not even the best of books a turn to proverbs twenty two and we need it measure everything everyone says and what i say against the word of god Proverbs 22.6 is that famous train up a child in the way that he should go. And Proverbs 22.15 explains how. And this is a very important statement. Folly, it says, is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him. And you need to understand, some translations have foolishness here, but this idea of folly is sinful folly. We're not talking about childish foolishness or silliness. This is sinful rebellion, and discipline is to be reserved for clear defiance and rebellion in this way. And the goal of it is the heart. This is a very important principle to understand, that the problem with our kids is not their environment. and not even their outside influences primarily. The problem is their heart that is drawn to those things. The problem is the heart of man is deceitful and desperately wicked. Jeremiah 17, verse 9 says, from the womb we go astray. Psalm 58, verse 3, we are sinners before we can communicate. We are telling lies, it says, even before we can speak. Shilin says it this way, sinning from the beginning, the womb to the tomb, depraved to the grave, astray every day. That's what we are. Romans 3, 13 through 14 presents depravity and the picture is it's coming up out of the heart and it's coming up through the throat and onto the tongue and then onto the lips. There's a progression there as poison from a viper coming out of our mouth. As I said before, little children are little vipers in diapers if we believe the Word of God. They are cute, but they are reprobates. They are sinners. They need God's grace. Our kids' greatest problem is not outside of them. It's inside them. It's why Proverbs 23, verse 12 says, apply your heart to discipline. That's the same word we've been seeing all along. Proverbs 23 verse 7 says, As he thinks in his heart, so is he. And then he talks about someone whose heart is far from you. And so Proverbs 23 verse 26 says, My son, give me your heart. That's what we want as parents. The heart of our children. Proverbs 28, verse 14 says, he who hardens his heart will fall into calamity. This is why this is so important. This is why Proverbs 4, 23, he says to his son, above all else, watch over or guard your heart because everything in life flows out from that. It's all about the heart, not mere moralistic or behavioristic change. Parenting from Proverbs is after the heart. Look back to Proverbs 3 just to see the God-inspired heart of a godly parent. Proverbs 3, verse 1, This is Solomon speaking to his son. Do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments. This is the plea in the heart of a godly father. At the end of verse 3, he says, write them on the tablet of your heart." And then that familiar verse, verse 5, "...trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path." Your life depends on this. And the Father began His plea in chapter 2 with these words, "...my Son, if you will receive my words." And the end of chapter 2, verse 2 says, "...if you will incline your heart to understanding." But you see, here's my problem. I don't trust in the Lord with all of my heart all of the time and I cannot just incline my own heart in my own strength to my God's truth even as a believer and none of us can incline our kids' hearts and change our kids' hearts with even the best parenting books or techniques. Solomon was the wisest man in Scripture. He wrote more on parenting than anyone in it, and his writing on parenting was God-inspired in contrast to everything written since. But even he wasn't able to make this happen in his son that this whole book is written to, which is why we need to close not looking at the father and son dynamic here in Proverbs, but we need to look to another father and son dynamic. And for that, turn back to Hebrews chapter 12, which brings us to our last point, which is God's fatherly, loving punishment in the gospel. And as you're turning there, just to put it in perspective in redemptive history, a very important promise. God gives the covenant to David in 2 Samuel 7. And he talks to him about his son to come and his seed to come and the kingdom to come. And this is what God promises to David about Solomon, the one who's writing Proverbs. God says, I will be a father to him, and he will be a son to me. When he commits iniquity, I will correct him with the rod of men and the strokes of the sons of men." And that language, I think, has some reference to Solomon. But I think it also goes beyond Solomon. And there is one greater than Solomon who was needed. And there's one greater than Solomon who has come. There is a greater son of David who has come. And he never committed iniquity. And yet, even though he never committed iniquity, he took the punishment that Solomon deserved. He took the punishment that I deserve. He took unloving stripes from sinful men for sinful men. Isaiah 53 verse 5 says the chastening for our well-being fell on him and by his scourging We are healed. I was trying to explain this to my kids last night. The idea there, you deserve a massive punishment, a bigger punishment than you can even imagine, a tremendous punishment. And you're about to receive that punishment that you deserve. And then someone else comes in and says, let me take that punishment in their place. And that other person comes and he stands between you and he shields and takes all of that punishment that you deserve, that was intended for you. And of course, in an infinitely greater way, we're talking about not just a temporal punishment, we're talking about eternal punishment that Jesus took for us in this life so that we don't have to face in the next life. That's what Jesus did for us, taking that punishment for us from His Father. Earthly fathers are not to discourage or crush their sons, but it says in Isaiah 53 that God crushed Him, crushed Jesus for our iniquities. It says it was the will of the Lord to crush Him. Isaiah 53, 5 and 10. That's what He did for us. We are not to pour out wrath on our sons, but God poured out the wrath that we deserved on His Son in our place for all who believe the gospel and receive Jesus as Lord by repentant faith. That's what he did, taking the punishment for us that we deserved in this life so that we do not have to face that punishment in the next life eternally that we deserve. We all, like sheep, had gone astray. Each of us had gone to his own way, Isaiah 53 says. But the shepherd came for us. And the shepherd laid down his life for the sheep. And so we as his sheep can say, with the writer of Psalm 23, the Lord is my shepherd. His rod and his staff, they, what? They comfort me. It becomes a comforting thing to know that this shepherd who loves us and who is with us, whose goodness and mercy is always pursuing us, that even his rod is a comfort to us. The rod is the symbol of the loving discipline of a shepherd and father that comforts. So let me just read the text of Hebrews 12 in closing. with very little comment, just the Word of God itself. Hebrews 12.6, those whom the Lord loves, He disciplines. And He scourges every son whom He receives. It is for discipline that you endure. God deals with you as with sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? And that might be one question. It was taken for granted in his day that there would be some exceptions in our day. But that was just taken for granted. What son is there in whom his father does not discipline? But if you are without discipline, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Furthermore, we had earthly fathers to discipline us, and we respected them. Shall we not much rather be subject to the Father of Spirits and live? For they, speaking of our fathers, disciplined us for a short time, as seemed best to them. But He disciplines us for our good, so that we might share His holiness. All discipline for the moment seems to be sorrowful. Yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness. And I want to close with the benediction in Hebrews 13 verse 20. For those of us who continually are like sheep falling short, Hebrews 13 20 says now the God of peace who brought up from the dead the great shepherd of the sheep through the blood of the eternal covenant even Jesus our Lord equip you in every good thing to do his will Working in us that which is pleasing in his sight through Jesus Christ to whom be the glory forever and ever and all God's children said Amen, let me pray Our Lord, we thank You for Your faithful, fatherly love. We thank You, Lord, for the Gospel. We thank You for what You did on the cross to Jesus, Your Son, that we deserve, that He was willing to stand in our place to shield us from the punishment that we rightly deserved and how that should transform the way that we think and live as parents, as children, as people in life, who at times there will be pain that comes into our life to realize that You are a good and loving Father, that there is nothing that You allow into our life that is not intended for our good, to train us, to make us more like You. Lord, I pray that your people, your children, would be strengthened by this. And I pray, Lord, for some in this room who may not yet be your children, Lord, that this picture of your love would move them in their hearts to repent and to trust in Jesus as Lord, and to come to know you as their Father. We pray all these things in the name of Jesus, by the power of the Spirit, and for the glory of God the Father. Amen.