This is Truth Matters Church, contending for the faith, one verse at a time. Our mission is to help people see God's truth through the expository study of Scripture. Learn more and connect with us at truthmatterschurch.org. Next week, Pastor Alex Kataroha will launch a new expository study in the book of Romans. Please subscribe to this podcast or mark us as a favorite on Sermon Audio so you don't miss a single message. Today we're going back to a previous study in the book of Ephesians where Pastor Alex unpacked the mystery of marriage from Ephesians chapter 5. There is so much to learn from this passage applicable to each of us no matter what our current situation is. We encourage you to follow along in your Bible again in Ephesians chapter 5. Here is Pastor Alex. So when we get to the beginning of chapter five, and as we spill into chapter six, you gotta keep in mind, Paul is spirit-filled. Paul not only sees the things of time, but Paul also sees the things of eternity. And what Paul sees, and what he has brought to our attention up to this point, is the mystery surrounding the institution of the church, which is defined as believers indwelt by the Holy Spirit of God. That was a mystery. So what Paul, he's kind of building on that thought, and here's where he's going with this whole mystery. He sees this body called the church, And he sees this body called the church with the head being the Lord Jesus Christ. So within the church, there's various relationships. And what Pastor Arnaldo covered in last week's message, the first 21 verses of Ephesians, He was covering relationships not in the household, so it's like us right here, and how we are to imitate God in those relationships, to love one another, to sing to one another, or yeah, to sing and cite Psalms to one another in love, in our expression of our love towards God and towards one another, that we are to grow in unity. and in love. Now what happens is, what happens in that church structure, right, or this church idea, how does that play out in the marriage? What if you're not? What if it is your household? How are we in submission to Christ to live out that relationship in the household? And that's where Paul's gonna get at, at least in our passage, that we're gonna start in the household, where it really starts, with the husband and the wife. And later, after Paul addresses marriage, he will talk to other members in the household, you know, parents, slaves, back then they had slaves, and then masters, and how they are to react. But just understand that Paul is looking at, he sees the church, the mystery of the church, he knows that we are all one body, in submission to Christ, but he also sees, he also knows that within the church there's a household, and how can we continue to live in submission to Christ in whatever that role is for us in the household, and that's where Paul is getting at, and we'll get into that in marriage. So the passage we're about to cover, it's a very popular passage on marriage. In fact, Ephesians 5, 22 through 33, if you've been to many weddings, It's one of the main scriptures that is read, right? So you would hear it in wedding ceremonies. If you do premarital counseling, Ben Sarge, we did this. We went through Ephesians 5. This is a go-to passage for premarital counseling. If you're having marital issues, Post-marital counseling, we get reminded on what Ephesians 5 verses 23, 22 to 33 has to say, and not to mention, there's a lot of Christian books out there that speak on marriage, and Ephesians 5 is often quoted. And I know there's a tendency, like, okay, let's just read up, let's just open a book. Let's just read it and see what it has to say, and that's that, right? But here's my concern. If we do that without keeping in mind at least some of the context that I gave you where Paul is coming from, and also there's another important fact. If we don't really have a good foundation of the curse and what really plagued every man and every woman since Adam and Eve sinned, if we really miss kind of the consequences or implications of that, then when we read this, it's gonna go over our heads most likely. Let me ask, I like to ask questions and I've said that before. Why is it that, okay, we love Christ, right? We're believers. We love Jesus Christ. For those of us who are married, right, we love Jesus Christ. We love God. We love His Word. We want to obey God. We want to fulfill our God-ordained role in the household. Again, the question is, why do we continually fall short? And here's another question. Why does Paul quote Genesis 2.24 towards the end of this chapter, and he connects the marriage relationship to Christ and the church? So what we're going to find is that although Paul addresses the role of the wife and the role of the husband in Ephesians 5, remember, Paul has a bigger picture in mind. And this is why I entitled this message, The Mystery of Marriage. And we're going to find that Paul sees the big picture and how the marriage paints a picture of Christ and His bride, the church. And the reason that Paul gave us instructions on the role of marriage is so that in submission to Christ, and when the marriage is Spirit-filled, in doing so, that marriage will paint a picture behind the mystery of marriage, and that is to depict the love relationship between Christ and the church. So what I'd like to do is I'd like to break up our study actually into two parts, and we're gonna go to the fall briefly. And we're gonna touch briefly on the consequences, it's also called the curse, of the woman and of the man, and allow that to lay the foundation, and then we will read Paul's instruction on Ephesians 5, and then Lord willing, hopefully it'll connect So with that, I'd like to actually have you turn your Bibles to Genesis chapter three. And we're going to read verse 16. So after God pronounced judgment to Satan for his involvement in the fall, here God is gonna pronounce judgment, or the punishment, to the woman first, and then we're gonna get to Adam. But first let's look at Eve's punishment. Genesis 3, 16. To the woman, he said, God said, I will greatly multiply your pain and childbirth. In pain you will bring forth children, yet your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you." So because Eve sinned, by listening to Satan, There were two primary punishments that applied to Eve and that it applies to every woman thereafter. And the first punishment is pain in childbearing. So bearing children It is a blessing, but not without great pain. Now, I've had the privilege of being there in the birth room to witness the delivery of my children with my wife. And I can tell you, I am glad I wasn't in her situation. In fact, I have some quotes that she said while she was in labor. I feel like I'm going to die. I'm fighting for my life. And this is with medication. This is the worst pain I've ever felt. I can only imagine the great pain that she went through and the intensity of the pain as the contractions begin to build up and increase and the intensity and the pain also increase until eventually she's ready to push the baby out. You see, bearing children, it wasn't always intended to be that way. Bearing children was intended to be, it was supposed to be a pleasant experience. It was supposed to be full of blessing. It was supposed to be full of bliss. Actually, we see this in the animal kingdom. There are some animals, when they give birth, they don't moan. They're just there and they just sit and it does its thing and then that life comes out. That's how originally it was to be in bearing children. But because of Eve's sin, only through excruciating pain will she and all women birth children. So another way to look at this, just now how we know that the rainbow was a sign of the covenant that God made, right, with Noah, and for the rest of us, that he will not flood the earth again with water. So the rainbow was supposed to be a sign to remember that. Here's a reminder to all women, when you give birth, it's a sign, it's a reminder of the punishment for listening to Satan. That's the punishment. And here's a tragic truth. How tragic was it that Eve listened to the serpent? How tragic was that? Really, we were thinking about it. It brought sin, right, after and then when Adam followed, it ushered sin into creation as we know it now. So how tragic is it? How bad Was it really for the woman to listen to the serpent? And here's how it is. You go, okay, this is how tragic, if we were to use an illustration, you know the pain that the woman feels when she gave birth? The quotes that I just quoted from my wife, and I'm sure for many of you others who have given birth can relate to. You know how tragic it is for listening to the serpent and for allowing sin to enter into your heart? You know how tragic that is? You know how painful that is? An example of that would be the pain experienced through childbearing. That's how tragic it really was. So that's one punishment. Here's another punishment that applies to Eve and to all women. And it says this, yet your desire will be for your husband and he will rule over you. Now, a common interpretation, and many commentators will say this, they'll say, oh, okay, your desire will be for your husband, and that desire is the desire to usurp or take authority that is given to man, and that your desire is to control your man and to control the family. And let me say this, that's one of the consequences of the sin, definitely. Sin has its consequences. And it rears its ugly head in many different ways, and that is one of them. But actually, I want to submit to you something else in addition to that consequence. In fact, first we need to understand what that word desire means. And it really means an intense longing. It's an intense craving. And that Hebrew word for desire, it's used three times, all in the Old Testament. One here in this passage, and it's used in two other places. The other time it's used is in Genesis 4, the next chapter, verse 7, when God warned Cain that sin is crouching at the door of his heart, and sin is desiring and craving and longing to consume him. But then God warned him, you must master it. But we know the story of Cain. Did he master it? No. Sin barged the door of his heart, if you will, and he ended up killing his brother, Abel. So that was one use of the word, or the other time the word desire was used. But here's another time it was used in scripture, and it was actually in the Song of Songs. Song of Songs, chapter seven, verse 10, and let me read that to you. So here the bride is speaking. So if you read the Song of Songs, it's very romantic. It's about the love between a man and a woman, right? The bride and her husband. And it's just a love, it's a great love story, a romance, you know, biblical, clean, romantic poetry, if you will. But here the bride is speaking to the, the bride is speaking. So let me, let's read what she says there. She says, I am my beloved's, and here it is, and his desire is for me. I believe that the desire spoken of in the song of songs is the same exact desire spoken of in Genesis 3.16. And here's where I'm getting at. I believe that when God said, yet your desire will be for your husband, Here's what he was saying. God was saying that, he was speaking of the desire to be desired by your husband. So here's a, and this is for us men, husbands, young men, really young men. Here's the heart of the matter. The heart of Eve, And the heart of every woman, of every wife, is to be desired, to be longed, to be craved for by her man. The heart of every woman is to be number one in priority and importance in her man's eyes. The woman wants to be the apple of his eye. Every woman desires, longs, and craves that her man will do anything for her, to chase after her, to overcome any obstacles or barriers to please and get her. Hollywood is on to something here. Right? However, part of Eve's punishment is this. The desire for her to be desired by her man will be forever elusive. You know that word, elusive? I mean, you want it so much, and you thought you had it, and then it's gone. You see, before the fall, Adam and Eve had unhindered communication. Could you imagine in a relationship you had unhindered communication when you speak to each other? You get it, each other? There's no misunderstanding? So before the fall, they had unhindered communication, unhindered understanding, unhindered affection. How about this? They had perfect intimacy. Can you imagine having perfect intimacy all the time? And not only was it so perfect an example of that, they were naked and felt no shame. Adam totally desired her and totally loved her fully and completely before the fall. Remember the words of Adam, this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. Adam naturally desired and loved Eve as his own flesh. However, after the fall, Adam's desire and his love for her, it turns for the worse. No longer will they have unhindered communication, unhindered understanding, unhindered affection, unhindered perfect intimacy. No longer will Adam's top priority be to desire and love her fully and completely. Adam is going to forget that Eve was a gift from God to him. And Adam is going to forget that Eve was his life partner, his co-equal, and co-heir in the gracious gift of life. You see, because Eve sinned and listened to Satan, instead of subjecting herself to her husband for his loving guidance and protection, there was a big price to pay, and that price was the pain in bearing children and the cost her in receiving the perfect intimacy that she longed and desired and experienced before the fall. So that's the consequence that applies to Eve and to all women. Now let's turn to the punishment to Adam, and this will apply for us males. Genesis 3, verses 17 through 19. Then to Adam he said, Because you have listened to the voice of your wife, and have eaten from the tree about which I commanded you, saying, You shall not eat from it. Curse is the ground because of you. In toil you will eat of it all the days of your life. Both thorns and thistles it shall grow for you, and you will eat the plants of the field. By the sweat of your face you will eat bread, till you return to the ground, because from it you were taken. For you are dust, and to dust you shall return. Now you see the phrase in verse 17. because you have listened to the voice of your wife. So here's what happened, and this was the first error from Adam. Adam subjected himself to Eve, and not the other way around. Eve was to subject herself to her husband. But because Adam subjected himself to Eve, and because Adam failed to intervene against Satan, and he failed to exercise his loving protection over Eve, Here are the consequences that plagued Adam and every male and every husband ever since. No longer will cultivating the land be without thorns and thistles. How many of us pulled weeds? It's a pain, isn't it? You pull it, Comes right back. Whether you use chemicals, you pull it, it's there. The ground is cursed. And one of the evidence of that curse is those pesky thorns. So as a result of Adam's sin, Only through hard work will man be able to cultivate the land and bear a crop to sustain himself until he reaches his final destination, the grave. And here's another consequence, and I've alluded to this earlier in the punishment to Eve. This is another punishment that applies to Adam and applies to every male and husband. your natural tendency, your natural disposition. If you are not careful, this is where it's going to go. You're going to rule over your wife unlovingly. Instead of Adam loving her fully and completely, his default, and all man's default, is to rule, dominate her in an unloving way, as well as put his needs, remember she's supposed to be priority and that's what she desires. I'm priority, and it's what I desire. That is ruling unlovingly. Instead of Adam sacrificially loving Eve as Christ loved the church, his default, and all man's default, would be to abuse and misuse his God-given authority in the marriage and use it unloving, unruly, and in a selfish way. You see, Paul, remember, he is Spirit-filled. He sees this, filled by the Spirit. He sees this, and he also sees, okay, that's where it is, that's what happened. This is how we kinda can get back to where it's supposed to be, but in the meantime, the marriage is actually pointing to Christ and the church. So really where Paul is getting at here, as we're gonna read now Ephesians 5, it's kind of to reverse the curse. That's kind of catchy, right? It's like, okay, now that we have the Spirit of God in us, we can now take steps to reverse the curse and start demonstrating and illustrating what marriage was always designed and intended to be. So with that, let's now read Paul's instruction on the roles of marriage in Ephesians 5, and we'll begin at verse 22. Wives, be subject to your own husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. He himself being the savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself up for her, so that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that he might present to himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she would be holy and blameless. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself, for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of his body. For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is great, but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband." So let's take this from the top. in Ephesians 5.22. So Paul writes there and he's addressing the wives or the women. Be subject to your own husbands as to the Lord. Now let me ask you a question. I don't know if you ever thought about this. Why did Paul go to the wife first? Why didn't Paul start off to Adam or to the husbands? Why did Paul start with the wives? So can I suggest to you something? Who sinned first? Eve. So who will be addressed first to start undoing the curse? The woman, Eve. Eve was the catalyst that plunged the human race into sin. And let me just use one cross-reference here, 1 Timothy 2.14. And it was not Adam who was deceived, but the woman being deceived fell into transgression. And let me ask you a question, and this is just practical in life. How many of you wanna redo? You've done something in life? You're like, ooh, if I can do that over, I would do it differently. Kind of keep that idea in your mind. That's exactly where Paul's getting at. The woman, the wives, you're gonna get a redo of what Eve failed to do and you get to do it now. And likewise, the husbands of what Adam failed to do and what you're able and you have an opportunity to do now. And I want to talk a little bit here about that Greek word subject. It's the Greek word hupotasso. And it's a military term. And it means to place under rank, to place yourself or to rank under. And a good illustration of this is for those of us who've served in the military. Now, in the military, you know, my son's in the military. He's actually serving in the Marines. And he'll tell me all the ranks of where he's at. And I always lose track. All I know is the more stripes you have, the higher rank you pull. And whoever's higher in rank... you place yourself under that rank. And whoever is over you in rank, you subject yourself and whoever, whatever that person says, the decisions that are made, that's what it is. That's the idea here behind this Greek word subject. It's the same idea in marriage. Wife is to place herself under the authority of her husband. And I wanna acknowledge this, you know that's very scary. It's a very scary spot for women, I recognize that, for the wives. It takes a lot of faith. And not only that, it's going to be hard not to overstep or usurp or override your husband's authority. But I also want to call this out, the command for the wife to be subject to her husband, it's unqualified. What that means is this, your husband doesn't necessarily need to do something for you to be submissive to Christ, and in that submission, expressing it to your husband. It's unqualified. So there's a tendency to say, okay, once my husband gets his acts straight, then I will submit. Scripture doesn't give us that liberty. Now I do also wanna acknowledge this too. Now there are gonna be certain bonafide exceptions. Again, the instruction we're reading here, it's in a Christian context. So the roles here, it's a Christian wife. And the role here is for a Christian husband. So the context here is Christian. So if you're Christian, let's say you're a wife, And you're in a household that isn't Christian-like, and there's abuse. There's verbal abuse, physical abuse. You know, you feel that you're at risk or in danger, whether it's for yourself or for your children. I'm saying that there are bonafide exceptions where you don't necessarily place yourself under the authority of a husband or a man like that. So I wanna put that disclaimer out there. But let's just say all things being equal, it's a Christian marriage. And the desire of the Christian wife and the desire of the Christian husband is to fulfill the roles outlined for them. Then it does line up better. But then again, not all of us are in a Christian marriage or we'll find ourselves not in a Christian marriage. But you're still a Christian and that marriage is still quote unquote sanctified. So you know where you need to be. and you know where your husband or wife needs to be, and first of all, in the faith, and then after that, to fulfill their role. So there's gonna be this kind of delicate balance on how to exercise the submissiveness to Christ with your life situation. So I wanna go back to the instruction to the wives in the same verse, verse 22, the latter part. So it says, you know, wives be subject to the husbands as to the Lord. Now, I wanna warn something here, and this is for all the wives and women, maybe soon to be wives. That doesn't mean submit to your husband as if your husband is Jesus Christ. No, that is not what Paul is saying. Paul is saying this, in submission to your Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, I am going to place myself under the authority of my husband. That's what it means as to the Lord. There's no human relationship, including the husband, is never to take the place of Christ. Christ Jesus has the rightful place to sit on the throne of your heart. And I also want to kind of call out another truth. There might be this notion that, at least this is how the world operates, the higher in rank you are, the more important or prestigious you are. That's how the world operates. And I want to tell you something, and I want to warn this. Because the woman is subject to her husband, that doesn't diminish her. She's still a co-equal. in that marriage relationship. And let me give a good illustration of this, would be in the Godhead. There's the Father, there's the Son, and there's the Holy Spirit. And let's look at Jesus. Jesus is subject to the Father. And the Father in turn has granted the Son all authority. So there's this kind of mutual submission, if you will. But Christ is subject to the Father. He aims to please the Father. Now is Jesus less in deity as the Father? No. Is He not also fully God and full of and do full glory and honor as the Father? No. Is Jesus less important, less prestigious than the Father? The answer is no. And so it is with marriage. There is a divine order, a divine pattern. The Godhead has it. The marriage relationship also has it. So let's look at the next verse. Verse 23, for the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is also the head of the church, he himself being the savior of the body. And head here in this verse, and it speaks of a position of authority. The husband is the head, and another way to say it, chief of command in the marriage, just as Jesus is head or chief of command over the church. And here's where, I don't know how else to say it, but the husband, as the head, has the final say in decisions. And the reason wives are to submit to their husbands is because God placed the husband as the head authority over the wife, just as the father placed Christ Jesus as the head over authority over the church. Let's look at verse 24, and I'm gonna kind of tie in a point here. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to submit, ought to be to their husbands in everything. And as I mentioned this, right, all believers, as believers, we're subject to Christ. And if you're a believer and you're married, you're still subject to Christ. And wives are to express their submission to Christ by subjecting and placing herself under the authority of her husband. And I want to call out another thing here, and you'll see it, it says, in everything. And again, it's not qualified and it's not contingent upon anything. And it's just like the church right now. Do we, can we get to choose as a believer? Okay, I'll choose when I'm gonna be subject to Christ and when I'm not gonna be subject to Christ. I mean, you can certainly do that, that's sin. But in reality, is that the heart of every believer? No, you can't choose when you are to be subject to Christ as a believer and when you are not. And so it is in that Christian household, in that Christian marriage. There is, you know, the wives don't get to choose if and when they should be subject to their husband. And I wanna do another caution here. You know, I mentioned how the wife is co-equal and is a co-partner. That is not to say that when I said that the husbands, as the chief in command, does have the final decision authority, that doesn't mean that the wife doesn't play an active part in that. So don't get it wrong, you have a voice. Express your voice, express your concerns if you're married. Share your heart with your husband, with your man, so that he can make the best decision he can possibly make, all things being considered. Now, there's much more that can be said on the role of a wife, you know, nurturer, homemaker, helper, et cetera. But for now, we're gonna stick to what Ephesians 5 has to say, and we'll keep it simple. The wife's role is simply to express her submission to Christ by being subject to her husband. So now let's now, all right wives, I know you kind of, it gets really sensitive, but now let's put the heat on the men now, and this is where I got cut out on, okay? Let's shift it a little bit. Let's look at Ephesians 5, 25 through 27. Husbands, love your wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself up for her, so that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that he might present to himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she would be holy and blameless. And now here's the husband's chance to reverse the curse. And there's a familiar Greek word in this passage, in this passage, and it's the Greek word love, agapao, the root agape. So here we go, husbands. You are to express, I am to express agape love to my wife, your wife. A love that's unconditional. A love that is selfless and a love that is sacrificial. And I say this and I can't, I'll be a broken record. The Greek word agape, it's not emotion, although emotion can express itself when you are in agape love. But the idea of agape love, it's a determination of the will. It's leading your heart, and now for some of us, I don't know if you've watched the movie Fireproof, it's actually a good Christian movie, and without kind of giving it away, but they're going through a divorce, and the father was a Christian to Kirk Cameron, who was the husband, who was going through a divorce, and he gives them this book called The Love Dare, and it was a 40-day journey, and it's really to apply the scriptures that we're reading today. And there was one thing that was said in that movie, when his friend was giving him counsel, because he was emotional, right? It's hard not to get emotional, and it's hard not to let your emotions make, have you ever made an emotional decision? How many of you found that that was the wrong one? And he's saying, you can't do that. He goes, you can't make your decisions based on your emotion. He goes, you need to lead your heart. And that stuck with me because that is a biblical virtue. You're a biblical principle to follow. Our heart, trust me, it's desperately wicked and sinful and above cure, and it's selfish, it's prideful. And if we were to give into that, that's what it's going to come out. Instead, we're saying, no heart, you need to do this. So for the husbands, it's need to express agape love, even though you don't feel like it, and allow your heart to follow and get there. So why did Christ die for the church? Verse 27, so that he, Jesus, might present the church to himself in splendor without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she, the church, might be holy and without blemish. Now, on the surface, remember I said it was very, it's a, to place yourself under the authority of another fallen human being, you know, for the wives, you have to place yourself under another fallen man. In everything, right, again, there's some bona fide exceptions, but just generally, in everything, and you think that you come on the shorter end of the stick, I want to suggest you something else. It's actually the other way around. The husbands have their hands full and have the greater responsibility. Why? For the husbands, Christ Jesus is our example and the standard that we are to follow. Are you kidding me? Jesus is the example that I have to follow to show love to my wife. Oh, Lord, help me. But it's true. He is the example. Here's another thing I do want to caution. You know how when you read this passage, so that he, Jesus, might present the church himself in splendor without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, so that she, the church, might be holy and without blemish. And so we might read that and say, husbands, don't make the mistake. I try to help my wife in the sanctification process. When we were a baby Christian, And I was like full of zeal and full in the word. And she's just like prodding along. You know, her pace. What's up? Where you at? Come on. Let's get with it. You know, come where I'm at. Oh boy. See, husbands, our role is not to mature the sanctification process. Now, we might contribute or be a factor in that sanctification process, but the maturity level of every believer is at the pace of the Holy Spirit that is within them. So husbands were to recognize that, and this piece, I mean, I got peace off my shoulders. Okay, okay, cool, you're not gonna be a theologian? Cool, I wanna be a theologian. You know, I'm just joking, but you know what I'm trying to say. Instead, husbands are to lead their wives in spiritual matters, and we are to leave the results and the progress of their wife's spiritual development and maturity to God. Let's look at verse 28. I know we are towards the end of time here. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself. And you see that phrase, as their own bodies? See, when Paul quotes Genesis 2 in this passage, you can't help but know that he's alluding to the bone of my bones comment. Husbands are to love their wives, catch this, as much as Christ loved the church. Husbands are to love their wives sacrificially and view them as their own bodies. Not only that, husbands are to love their wives in an understanding way, and we can reference 1 Peter 3, verse 7 on that. It says, you husbands, in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman, and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered. So here we can see husbands are to love their wives in an understanding way, and that includes recognizing, do you know men, husbands? how precious and vulnerable wives are. Now, there are some women who, a little more masculine, I guess you can say. Generally speaking, if we were to use an illustration, you know, it's like the illustration of a rose. Very precious, beautiful. Doesn't take much to trample that rose, right? So in that same way for us husbands, we gotta recognize that the woman, our wives, are like that. And when Peter makes mention of a weaker vessel, and that's primarily physical. I mean, generally speaking, and again, this is just in general, there are some women who are stronger than men, but the way men are built is stronger physically than the way women are built, generally speaking. But also, generally speaking, Women are more emotional. Is that news flash for us? Not that guys can't be emotional, but generally speaking, women are weaker in handling their emotions. The latter part of verse 28, he who loves his wife loves himself in keeping with, and here, remember, Paul is keeping with the Jesus and the church illustration. So here, if we were to write this down, Christ's loving church, and this is kind of like a math thing, Christ's loving church equals Christ's loving himself. Here's the other side. Husband's loving wife equals husband's loving self. And that means that the opposite is true as well. Christ not loving the church, if Christ were to stop loving us, then Christ would just stop loving himself. And the converse is true. If husbands stop loving their wives, you're gonna stop loving yourself. If the husband doesn't... does not love willingly, sacrificially, a selfless love for his wife, he is not loving himself. In fact, when the husbands, when we don't love our wives, we're doing ourself harm. Husbands loving wife brings blessing. And how many of us heard of this phrase? A happy wife is a happy life. Love your wife the way she is to be loved. and you will have a happy life. And if you don't do that, not loving your wife the way she ought to be loved is gonna bring heartache. pain, frustration, and guess what else is gonna happen? The D word will come up, because we can only go so far. Verses 29 through 30, we're getting to the end. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of his body, and this is self-explanatory, no sensible person will intentionally harm their own bodies. And I said sensible, people do that, but no one in their right minds would harm their own bodies, they would rather nourish it, they carefully protect it, and they cherish it. That's how Christ views and treats the church's body, so two husbands are not to intentionally harm, intentionally hurt, intentionally frustrate, cause grief and pain to their life partner, their wife. but rather husbands must intentionally nourish their wives, aim to meet their wife's physical and emotional needs, cherish her as his own body, and love her as she desires to be loved. Let me kind of put it simple for the men, and this is why I went to the fall. You know what our role is? How did Adam love Eve before the fall? That's my aim. Now it's not possible without the Holy Spirit. But with the Holy Spirit, we can make progress. Verse 31, for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. And here Paul is quoting Genesis 2.24. So God's divine plan for marriage all along can be seen in the first man and the first woman, Adam and Eve. Marriage, as God sees it, is a lifelong commitment. It's not a contract. A marriage is not something that you try out And then when you're sick and tired of it, you get rid of that contract and you get into another contract. That wasn't God's intention all along. When a man and woman are joined in holy matrimony before God, Scripture says that the two shall become one flesh. And in God's eyes, he views the husband and the wife as one flesh, one entity. And that brings another question. How can, in God's eyes, the husband and the wife be viewed as one entity before God? I'll do what God does in his word. He answers a question with another question. How can there be Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, three different people, yet there's one God? Our minds can only go so far. It's mysterious, and here, this is where Paul's getting at, but it's true, and this is why Paul says in verse 32, and here's the main point. This is where he's getting at, right here. This mystery is great. What mystery? The husband and wife becoming one flesh. But I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. And here's where Paul is getting at. The mystery behind the union, the marriage union that was instituted at the very beginning of time, it ultimately points to the mystery of Christ and the church. Let's kind of take a step back, and here, let's try to get into the mind of Paul, filled with the Spirit. Take a step back. When it was just God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit, before they created anything, when it was just them, the Father said, Son, I want to pick a bride for you. I want you to go get her. And in order for you to go get her, you're going to have to die for her and shed your blood so that we can be one happy family. And then he proceeds with his plan. Now, here's the mystery of marriage. If we were to say, okay, what in life can illustrate the Father's eternal plan from eternity past concerning Christ in the church. This is the best illustration that at least we can draw from life. Take a virgin man, virgin, undefiled. I'm not saying they were without sin, I'm just saying they haven't been with a woman, a virgin man. And let's say there's a virgin woman also has in lane with a man, still a virgin. When the two come together in holy matrimony before God, and they later have union, blood is broken from the woman. That blood consummated the marriage vow that they've had before God. That's the mystery behind marriage, is marriage is supposed to be a picture of Christ shedding his blood over the church, his bride, so that we would be reconciled to God and be one happy, eternal family. And I know I went way over, but we have one last verse, verse 33. Nevertheless, each individual among you is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband. So when husbands and wives are in living in submission to Christ and obedience to His will, then husbands will love his wife as his own body, and likewise, wives will subject herself to her husband in everything, and even give him the utmost respect. when husbands and wives are in full submission to Christ. Here's where we're getting at. When the husband and the wife are spirit-filled, then their marriage will be exceedingly blessed. It will bring most glory to God. And instead of perpetuating the curse, their marriage will instead illustrate to the world the mystery of the love relationship between Christ and the church that the Father has planned all along from eternity past. Amen? Thank you so much for downloading the Truth Matters Church podcast. As we heard today, the Bible lays out clear roles for the marriage covenant. While some of these roles, many in fact, are not as widely accepted by the postmodern society we live in, God's Word always stands, and it's important for us as husbands and wives to submit to these roles just as God designed them. Not only are they there for our own benefit, but they benefit our family and those we interact with as well. Mutual respect, deep agape love, gentleness, and submission to the authority of each role will bring about a blessed and joyful marriage. If you enjoyed today's message, please consider subscribing to this podcast and sharing it with a friend. 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