Why don't we begin this time by asking God to bless the teaching of His holy and errant work. And this will begin our first section with Mike Mayfield, member of Lakeside Bible Church. Oh Lord God, this is your holy word. We are your servants. Give us understanding that we might note your testimonies. You have prayed, oh Lord God, sanctify them in truth. Thy word is truth. Use your word this hour to set us apart for your service and for your glory. Oh Lord, let not your word go out and return void, but accomplish that purpose for which you have gathered us together, and for which you have sent it out. The sower sows the word, O Lord God. Show us great and mighty things this evening, which we do not know. Protect us from Satan, who would snatch your word as it is sown, making it fruitless in our lives. Protect us from the world's cares and the delight of wealth and the passion of other interests which enter in and choke your word and make it fruitless. Protect us from a wrong reaction to difficulties and discouragements which cause your word to fall on hard ground, again being fruitless. Instead, O Lord God, plow out now the hard ground of our hearts. Let your word fall on rich, fruitful soil, sending roots downward, bearing fruit upward. O Lord God, we live in a dark and wicked age. Broad is the way and many are on it, which lead to destruction. Make your word to us a lamp to our feet and a light to our path. Show us that narrow way in which you would have us walk. As we run in the path of your commandments, O Lord God, enlarge now our hearts that we might love you more, and in loving you more, that we might obey you more. Unsheathe this hour the sword of the Spirit, O Lord God. Judge now the thoughts and intentions of each of our hearts. Drop your word against our lives and our marriages and our families as a timeline, oh Lord God, and then grant grace that we might see clearly where we begin from your holy standards. O Lord God, spread your holy, eternal, inerrant written word before us now as a banquet table. Let us drink deeply of the sweet milk of the great doctrines of your word. Let us eat richly from your truths. Give us the heart of the prophet who cried, Thy words were found and I did eat them, and Thy words became to me a joy and the delight of my heart. For I am called by thy name, O Lord God of hosts. O Lord God, open your word to us as a mirror. Grant grace that we might see clearly who we are and what we are about. Let us not be as one who takes a look at himself and goes off and promptly forgets how he appears. Rather, instead of being forgetful listeners, O Lord God, help us to be active doers of your work. O Lord God, because of our fealty to you, because of our undying devotion to your Son, to our resurrected Savior, we pledge our complete and total submission to your holy word, and we pledge our unquestioning obedience to its commands. In the name of our Lord and resurrected Savior, Jesus Christ, we present this prayer to you. Amen. Thank you. Please have a seat. Turn with me, if you would, in your Bibles to Ephesians 6, please. turn with me if you would in your Bibles to Ephesians chapter 6 Ephesians 6 verses 1-4 children obey your parents and the Lord for this is right I am your fathers and mothers, which is the first commandment, with a promise, that they be well with you, and you may live long on the earth. And fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. All that we say and do in the next twelve weeks will be based on this one and singular overriding biblical principle. Ephesians 6.1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. For a child to be in a right relationship with God, the child must obey their parents. But let's back up a little bit. What is the goal of parenting? Some people call this a child raising seminar. The official title is Family Discipleship Seminar. It is actually not a child raising seminar, but a family seminar, and more particularly, it is a parenting seminar. The premise being that if you turn out right, there's a greater chance that your child will turn out right. But I'm not guaranteeing you in attending this seminar that your child will walk with God throughout your entire life. I can't guarantee that, can I? I can't guarantee that for anybody because each of us become singular moral agents before God, don't we? And every day we have to make moral decisions. I was dropping my daughter off to high school and she had been to a youth camp And she said, as she got out of the car, she said, you know, daddy, I made a wardship decision at youth camp. And we pounded these stakes in the ground and made these decisions. But you know what? Every time I go in the cafeteria and decide who to sit with, I have to make that same decision over again, every day, don't I? Well, that's true, isn't it? And we can't make that for our children, can we? That it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth. That's the goal, isn't it? Our children's success. That our children would grow up and lead lives which are both fruitful and fulfilled in their relationship with God and man. That they would do this apart from their parents while maintaining a good relationship with their parents. That's the goal, isn't it? First is we want our children to be both fruitful and fulfilled. In a relationship with God, we want them to be fruitful and fulfilled in their relationship with man, don't we? I know people who are very fruitful, but lead empty lives. They are very successful, very fruitful, but they hate what they're doing. And they fantasize about that day when they won't have to do it anymore. Conversely, I know men who are very fulfilled, that's pretty common for men as they enter into their 30s and start knocking against 40 and a lot of times these men have a good job and they're making a good income But they always wanted to run a catfish parlor. That guy, the man in Bible study was like this. And so he had a pretty good catfish recipe and everybody told him they liked to eat his catfish. So he started a catfish parlor. I had another friend who always wanted to be a computer consultant. He had a nice job, but he got a little money, was making a little money on the side. And so they quit their jobs, and they went through their savings, and they went through their second mortgage, and they went through their retirement, and they lost everything, and they were having the time of their lives weren't they? running a catfish parlor that was losing money hand over foot, doing a consulting job which was losing money hand over foot. They were very fulfilled, but they were fruitless. That's not the goal either, is it? The goal is to be both fruitful and fulfilled in relationship with God and in relationship with man. That's what we want, isn't it? Because then they can do this apart from their parents. That's what we want, isn't it? You don't want to wake up when you're 57 and see your 30-year-old son lying on the couch drinking beer and watching TV when you come home from work, do you? That's not what you want to do, is it? And you don't want to raise your grandchildren, do you? Do you? And you don't want to always be bailing kids out of jail, out of bad jobs, out of debt, out of credit card debt, do you? You want her to grow up and leave, don't you? That's what you want? When our youngest daughter left, people said, well, how did you handle the empty nest? I said, this is how I handled the empty nest. On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Cabana and got takeout. I picked up Elmer. We drove down to the seawall. We sat in the car, watched the sunset, and made out like bandits. That's the empty nest. That's what you want to do, right? That's how it's done. It's not. Do you think they can hear us if you turn up the radio? No! You're free again. But only if you do your job right, aren't you? Only if you do your job right. That our children would grow up to lead lives that are both fruitful and fulfilled in relationship with God and relationship with man. That they would do their apart from their parents. But that they would want to maintain a loving relationship with their parents. My son called me today and said, Dad, man, time's getting away from us. We need to set up and we have lunch together. Let's have lunch every Wednesday. So I said, yeah, that's great. And my daughter calls me. I'll be working at the office or driving somewhere. I'll do a phone call. She said, I'm sitting here waiting for Daniel to come out of school. And just got to thinking about you. Just wanted to call you, Daddy. All the kids are going to come home every day. They'll all be back again, thanks Jimmy. So we have a wonderful relationship with them. They were projects and then they finally got out of the work house. Successful but resentful. And all my kids have friends who are very successful in life and very resentful towards their parents who made them projects. baseball or football, they graduated at the top of their class, they went on to college, and they were so thankful that they could be people instead of projects when they got away from home. So that's not what we want either, is it? And that's another seminar I lead. If you guys were all grandparents, I would tell you how to behave yourself so your children would come visit you. But we won't do that now. All that we do and say from this point onward will be based on this one overriding principle. Children are to obey their parents in the Lord for this is right. All that we cover will be based on this one overriding doctrine. For children to be in a right relationship with God, they must obey their parents. Let's look at some terms here. The first is the term child. Child, or children. What is a child? Well, the Greek word here is techno. It gives prominence to birth. which is what we would probably call nowadays a teenager or young adult. Thus we differentiate between infant and son and daughter, or child and son and daughter. You will always be your father's son or daughter, won't you? But you will not always be your father's child. It is only children who must obey their parents. And so we don't want our children to always obey us, do we? And we'll look at that in the transition years. We begin with, I will obey Daddy quickly, the first time. But what we want to end up with is, I will think through and make wise decisions. And if we've done our job right, we'll end up in the circle of counsel. I'm always honored when my son asks me for advice, but I never expect him to follow it. In fact, I'm always reinforcing that to him. Sam, I want you to feel free to ask me for advice, but I want you to know our relationship is not based on whether you follow that advice or not. Because I don't want him to do what I say, do I? I want him to think through and make a good decision. Because you are not the mediator. between your child and God, are you? There is one God and one mediator between God and man, the man Christ Jesus. You are a steward of your child, just like husbands are a steward of their wives. And the husband is a temporal steward of his wife. The wife belonged to God before she met you. You will pre-decease her and she will go back to God for the next billion upon billions upon billions of years, won't she? So you husbands are a temporal steward of your wife, and we are temporal stewards of our children, aren't we? We have 17 years to raise this child in American culture, don't we? My good friend, Dr. McCallway, who gives this seminar with me in Nairobi, Kenya, has often said, you can make many decisions in life, You can make a decision when to go to school, and if you don't like the school you're going to, you can go to a different one, can't you? Or you can stop, and then later start again, can't you? You can make a decision where you work, and if you don't like where you're working, you can get a different job, or you can stop, you can take a sabbatical, and go back to work, can't you? You can make many decisions, but you can't make a decision on when you raise your children, can you? There is this track, it's like a roller coaster track, and it goes around 17 times at breakneck speed. Every time, it goes around. And it goes around. And it goes around. And then on the 18th time, there's a guy there at the amusement park who pulls a switch, and then it goes off to Austin, or Dallas, or New Orleans, or New York City, or San Francisco. It goes somewhere and doesn't go around again, does it? And you can either get on the roller coaster or you can watch it go by, but it won't stop. I never had this discussion with any of my children. You know, 12 was a little tough. I think that instead of being 13, we're just going to do 12 again. Can you do that? No, you can't. You can't. It happens and it just happens. See, I cannot hold parents responsible But a parent is responsible for how their young children behave. If your 17-year-old steals a CD from Walmart, I won't say shame on you. I'll say shame on that son or daughter. On the other hand, if your 5-year-old is shopping with you, and you're at the checkout line and they reach up and take a candy bar or a toy or an item off the shelf, I say shame on you, parent. If your 17 year old gets drunk or begins smoking cigarettes, I don't say shame on you. I don't say shame, I say shame on that 17 year old. However, if your 5 year old or 7 year old sneaks cookies or just goes to the refrigerator and opens it up and takes something and eats it, I say shame on you, Karen. If your 17-year-old goes out and parties all night and doesn't come in till dawn, I say shame on that 17-year-old. If your 3-year-old won't go to bed at bedtime, if your 7-year-old won't get ready to go to bed and get his schoolwork ready for the next day and go and go to sleep and lay in bed quietly and go to sleep, I say shame on you, parent. If your five year old won't sit quietly at the table and eat with thankfulness what is said before them without complaining, I say shame on you, parent. Not shame on the child. See, when there's a child sees to be a child in American society, When does a child cease to be a child? Well, we all have a phrase, don't we? When a child is 13, what do they become? Teenagers, don't they? If you bring your 15 year old to church with you and you meet the education pastor and you say, you know, where is children's church? Will your 15 year old be happy? No, they want to be involved in a youth service or the youth ministry, don't they? And then by age 17, they're considered an adult, aren't they? You can't report your 17-year-old as a runaway, can you? You can't. They're adults. They can come and go as they please. They can join the merchant marines. They can do whatever they want to. They can be convicted and go to life in prison. They are in every way an adult. They are. But children are to obey their parents. Biologically, when does your child cease to be a child? At puberty, don't they? And we'll be talking about this, the difference between obedience and honor and leaving. Children. Children are to obey their parents. And so while your children are in your home, those first 17 years, while they are either children, or youth, or a teenager, or a young person in your home, that's your window of opportunity, isn't it? That's your window of opportunity. Children are to do something. What are children to do? What does it say? Children are to obey, I think. listen to with submission. It contains two root words. One is to listen and the other is to submit. When you ask your child to do something, what is the response of your child? If you tell your two-year-old to come, what is their response? If you're talking on your phone and you look at your 18-month-old and you say, hush, what is their response? If you tell your five-year-old, sit still, what is their response? If you tell your seven-year-old, eat, eat what's in front of you, what is their response? If you tell your three-year-old, stay in bed, what is their response? Obedience is not a hard concept, is it? If you tell your 18-month-old to come, what is obedience? They come to you. That's pretty easy, isn't it? Why are children to obey their parents? Why is your 18 month old to come when you say come? What does the Bible say? Yeah, it's right. Children are to obey their parents in the Lord. For it is right, diakios, that which is just. that which is righteous, that which is in accordance with the daki, the just rule of God. The morally right thing, the correct thing, that thing which is true and just in the sight of God is that children obey their parents. You see, in this passage, God takes the moral high ground away from the parent, doesn't he? You say, now wait a second, you're saying that they have to obey me, that gives me more authority. Well actually no, it doesn't. It gives you less authority. To whom is the Holy Spirit speaking in this passage? Does this passage say, parents make sure your children obey you? Is that what it says? No it doesn't, it doesn't. Now there are passages, and we will look at them in Proverbs and in the epistles, which address the parent's responsibility to ensure that the child is in a right relationship with God. There are those passages, but in this passage, God the Holy Spirit is addressing the child's relationship with God. For a child to live in obedience to God, what must he do? Children do what? Obey your parents. Why? Because it's right. It's right in the sight of God. You see, the parent does not have the moral authority to excuse disobedience in the child. And especially with young mothers. This causes problems in my seminar now. Used to it, used to not. But I would say I see this more and more these last five years. Young mothers will say, it's my child. I know what's best for my child. I can decide when my child needs to obey me or does not need to obey me. If I ask my child to do something and I've decided that it's a difficult situation, then I can just go ahead and have grace. I don't want to be a hard nose. I don't want to be legalistic. when I want to. And that's simply not true. You don't have the moral authority before God as a parent to allow your child to disobey you. Can a spouse release you from the moral authority of marital fidelity? Can your wife give you permission to commit adultery? Eleanor and I were in a marriage Bible study I sensed a little tension in one of the couples. I was especially concerned with the young man because he traveled a lot. He was gone one week, sometimes as many as two or three weeks out of the month. And as I was talking to him, he said, oh no, that's no problem because we didn't bow. to be faithful to each other. I was traveling like this before I met her, and we talked about it, and we were married before Justice of the Peace, and we didn't vow that she would obey me, nor did we vow to miracle chastity. We have a don't ask, don't tell policy. And when we're apart from each other, as long as we practice safe sex, I'm not offending her, she's not offending me, I'm not deceiving her, she's not deceiving me, I'm not breaking any vows, we didn't vow, she's okay with this, I'm okay with this, she's not offended, I'm not offended. So is that okay? I mean, they agreed to it, didn't they? They agreed to it, they didn't vow, they're not offended, so is it okay? Is it okay? No, because there is a God in heaven who is offended, isn't there? God has said, thou shalt not commit adultery. And he takes moral authority away from you wife, and he takes moral authority away from you husband, and he resorts it to himself. You don't have the authority to be able to give your spouse permission to commit adultery. You don't have that authority. You do not have it. God raised ours up for Himself. When I was in the college ministry, I had a young man who was in Bible study with me. He was a university student and he was working his way through college and he was working on a construction site. And he said when he showed up on the construction site, that the supervisor said, you know, the owner of this company is real hard-nosed guys and I never can keep anybody and I know he's just paying you guys minimum wage and I know there are no benefits so I just want you to know the policy I have, if you need anything on this site, you can have it. I mean, don't get greedy. If you need a sack of concrete or you need some branch to do some aging around your house or you need a hammer or a hoe or something, I want you to know you can have it. Now, is the supervisor happy? Yeah! Are all the other workers happy? Yeah! Does the supervisor have authority to do that? No, he doesn't. Now, if he owned a company, he could say that, couldn't he? But he doesn't have the moral authority to do that. Well, you know, my friend said, but everybody's doing it, everybody's happy, nobody's offended, but there's a God in heaven who's offended, isn't there? Thou shalt not lie, nor steal, nor deal falsely with one another. Propheticus 19.11. And a supervisor on a job site does not have the moral authority to give him permission to steal. I'm eating at Luby's. No, I want some coffee, the lady brings me coffee, I want to give her my ticket. Now what does she have to do? She has to go back up to the cash register, re-ring it up, doesn't she? Staple it to her. She doesn't want to take time, so she says, no, you can just have it. Is that her coffee? Can she give that away? No. Some waitress at a cafeteria doesn't have the moral authority to give you permission to steal their coffee, does she? Does she? No. I had a friend whose father, I had a student in the ministry whose father was a congressman. And this father had on his, had a whole stack, and this was before 9-11, had a whole stack of plane tickets and they all said John Smith on them. And anytime he wanted his son to come visit him, he just gave him one of those. Well, that's lying, isn't it? Does that father have the moral authority to give his son permission to lie and steal from the airlines? Does he? No, he doesn't, does he? Nor do you have the moral authority to give your child permission to disobey you. You cannot give your husband permission to commit adultery. Husbands, you cannot give Those people that you supervise, permission to steal. Parents you cannot give your children permission to steal. And parents you cannot, you do not have the moral authority to give your children permission to disobey you. You simply do not. Let's look at Colossians 3.20. Turn in your Bibles to Colossians 3.20 please. Somebody read that for me, please. Grace, why don't you read that? Yeah, Colossians 3, verse 20, please. Children obey their parents in all things, for this is what pleases the Lord. What pleases the Lord? When children obey their parents in what? In all things. Yeah, in all things. In everything. Children, by not requiring obedience, you damage your child's relationship with God. You do that. You're the parent. You have been entrusted with this child. Has this child been to a family discipleship seminar? Has your 18-month-old child been to a 9-month-old 2-year-old child? Have they been to a family discipleship seminar? Have they studied the Greek? Have they studied the Hebrew? No. They look to you to keep them in a right relationship with God, don't they? You see, in Ephesians 6.1, the child sins against God by not obeying, doesn't he? Children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. In Ephesians 6.2, the child sins against his parents. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with the promise. Is there honoring to a parent to be chasing their child through the foyer of the church or through Walmart or in the parking lot trying to catch them when they say come? Is that honoring? Is it honoring the child when you say to the child, Greek, reverend man, and the child looks away or plays the shy game and buries their face in your lap? Is that honoring you when they disobey you right in front of your pastor and your friends? Is that honoring you? They sin against you. The parent sins against the child in Ephesians 6.3, don't they? By failing to keep that child in a right relationship with God. You see, your children trust you, don't they? your children trust you. You come home from work and you have a little ice cream and you say, uh, sweetheart, would you like some ice cream? What do your children do? They say, oh, thank you, daddy. And they take the cup, and then they call their dog over, don't they? And then they take a little bit of the ice cream, and they feed it to the dog, and then they wait to see if the dog dies, don't they? And if the dog doesn't die, they know it's not poison, so then they eat it. Is that what they do? Do they do that? No, they're all excited! Ice cream, daddy brought me ice cream! And they eat it up, don't they? Why? because they trust you. You say, we're going to Grandma's. And what do your children say? They say, okay. And then they go back and they get the phone in the hall and they call Grandma and they say, Grandma, Danny says we're coming to a visit. Ah, if we're not there in 30 minutes, call the police. He sold us to the kids so soon. Is that what they say? No, it never occurs to them that you will do anything but take them to Grandma's, don't they? They trusted their parents. And in their relationship with God, your children are trusting you, like that. They don't know they could be in a right relationship with God, they need to obey you, do they? Do they know that? They haven't read the Bible, they haven't attended the seminar. But you know it, don't they? Don't you? to disobey. Lastly, the parent sins against God in Ephesians 6.4. The parent sins against God by not requiring obedience. It is the father's responsibility to bring the child up and the discipline and the instruction of the Lord is needed. Now it does say Do not provoke your children to anger, and we're going to talk about that. That doesn't mean don't do anything that makes your child unhappy or angry, does it? Some people have a theology that God wants them to be happy. Once that's your theology, then who's in control? God, to be a good God, has to keep you happy all the time. And there are some mothers like that. They've thought into it, that a good mother has a, what kind of child? Happy child. Happy child has a good mother. But that's not true. But I see that. A child will be crying, and a mother, oh what's wrong, you know, and then maybe they see this, oh no, they're still crying, oh they sniff it, oh maybe they have a colic, oh no, they're still crying, No, that's not true. And we'll be looking at that. A good God is not responsible for keeping you happy all the time. And a good mother That's not true. Your responsibility is to help your child obey in order to prepare them for future success. Children, obey your parents and the law, for this is right. You're coming home, you've gotten the child out of the car seat, it's starting to mist in rain, traffic's been bad all day because of the rain, thus Little Josiah has missed his nap. So he's a little cranky, isn't he? And you're trying to make it through the market, trying to get through Wal-Mart, pick up a few things, you're in the soup of Wal-Mart, get a few school things, get something, you know, for your husband and try to do a little shopping, and he's been dragging his feet the whole time, hasn't he? And squirming and touching things. And you kind of feel in his forehead, and he feels a little feverish, you know, he has some Is he teething? He's starting to have that little snot come out. He's trying to keep his nose clean. He's trying to shout. He's trying to have him keep up with you. He's starting to be whiny. And you get there and you get all the stuff out of the cart. Right there. And there's little Josiah. You set him down. You push the cart through. And you're just going to take, you've got three bags of stuff. And you reach down to get little Josiah. And you can pick him up and then you can all go, and he's not there. He's about four steps away. And what's he looking at? In Kroger's and Walmart and all those places, where do they keep the candy? And I love a three-year-old, don't I? Four-year-old. And it's all shiny, isn't it? And a little Josiah reaches out and takes it. And you say, no, put it back. Now, what you can do is pretend that he didn't steal it, and you can say, it's okay, you can have it. Then you can pretend he didn't steal it, can't you? But he did steal it, didn't he? Does it belong to him? Did he take it? You take something that doesn't belong to you, and then you squeeze it and ruin it, what is it? What's that called? That's called stealing. Put it back. No! Now he crushes it. So now you have the option of teaching him that if he takes something that's not, that doesn't belong to him, and he breaks it, that he'll get to keep it. That's a great wisdom and a lot of skills. Now, you have to make some decisions, don't you? So, we go through the hierarchy of parenting. First, we beg. Oh, please, Josiah. Please, you know mommy's tired and we're late and daddy's coming home for dinner and I just don't have time for this. Please, just give me the candy bar. That's very honoring, isn't it? A grown woman begging a three-year-old. Now we go to the second hierarchy. We bribe. Okay, Josiah. When we get home, if you'll give me the candy bar, you can have the candy bar, and you can have some ice cream when we get home. Now that's a good wisdom in life still to teach a child, isn't it? That if you disobey, if you disobey and steal, you not only get the candy bar, but you'll be rewarded for it. That's a great wisdom in life still, isn't it? And then we go to the third hierarchy, and this is the most mature response. Okay, I'll leave you. Now that's a great wisdom in life still, isn't it? That your mother's willingness to take care of you in a dangerous location is based on your performance. But of course, Josiah sees right through that, doesn't he? And so what's he going to do? Bolt. Isn't he? And then you're going to chase him down. And when you get to him and grab him, what's he going to do? And then you're going to pick him up. Now, what are all the other mothers doing? Smiling. Because you all understand, don't you? Now, you see this playing out, don't you? As if it was happening in a flash. When you see him holding that game up, you see it all playing out, don't you? And you just don't have time for that type of humiliation, do you? Because you have been trained. For the last probably year and a half, Josiah has been training you. that if you don't obey, you will be publicly humiliated. So you say, okay, I'm going to be a merciful mama, I'm not going to be gracious, he's not feeling well, he might be running a little fever, he missed his nap, he's out of swords, he's off his schedule, I'll just give him the candy bar. You say, okay, you can have the candy bar, and you buy it, and then Josiah hugs you, and you pretend that he loves you, and that he's not a thief. And you just pretend that, and you go on. But here's the problem. 25 years later, Josiah's supervisor comes into the offices. Johnson, this contract has to be signed. You go out as your secretary. She's got the plane tickets and the paperwork ready for you. You be in Dallas today. You get up there, downtown. You get it signed. We've got reservations for you at the Sheraton. You pay after the contract's signed. You take him out to the best meal he's ever had. You spend the night at the Sheraton. You take the morning flight back. So Josiah, he goes out, he gets the contract, he gets the tickets, he has just time enough to swing by, calls his wife on the cell phone, get my bag, get my suit together, he picks it up, he races to the airport, he just makes it, he gets on the plane, he takes off. He's all out of sports, it's a crowded flight, he's starting to feel There's a little sore throat. Oh, great. What else is going to happen? Well, he lands in a circle for about an hour, because there's a big storm, a big thunderstorm in Dallas. And they finally land out on the tarmac, and he has to walk in. And he's soaking wet, and his carry-on's soaking wet. And now he's late. He gets a cab. What's the traffic like? It's terrible, isn't it? He finally makes it. to the corporate headquarters. He's an hour and a half late. He goes up to the 12th floor. He's sitting there waiting and waiting. People are coming in and out. Finally, the guy comes out. He jumps up. He says, who are you? Oh, yeah. Weren't you supposed to be here this morning? Oh, yeah. We signed with the Oklahoma City people. Sorry. So how does he feel? He's wet. Nothing has gone right. He takes the cab to the Sheraton. All he can think about is the chewing out he's going to get. It's not scientific. He gets out of the cab. He steps in a puddle of water. Now what? Soaking wet, in the same clothes he's worn all day. He walks into Sheraton, and what do those doors do? They kind of slide open, don't they? And he walks in and it's all leather, and brass, and crystal, and pinkling. And he just hits that air conditioning and he can just feel himself letting down. Up there there's a big mahogany desk. You know, beautiful people receiving them, and receptionists, and people talking. You know, he goes over to get his seat. He can almost feel himself relaxing in just such a luxurious atmosphere, big atrium. And as he walks up to the registration desk, the reception desk, over to the right, you know, there's always a big kind of open bar, and there's a little jazz musician playing, a little three-piece jazz. tickling and laughter you know and he can't help it he looks over there and there sitting at the bar is this wonderfully attractive woman in a very tight red dress looking like a million dollars and she catches his eye and she turns to him with her drink in her hand and smiles What do you want? What do you want society to do? Has anybody had a bad day? Has anybody had a good afternoon? Did you rest? Is your running a little fever? Well, don't be so legalistic. Let the little darling experience some enjoyment. Right? Right? No, it's not. When's he going to learn that? When he's three years old, when he's two years old, when he's five years old at the dinner table, when he's two years old, in Walmart. That's when he's going to learn that you obey because it is the right thing to do. And his responsibility isn't to teach him that. It's yours, isn't it? Because what we have to do is understand truly what it means to be blessed. Now this is Ephesians 6, 3. This is a child who's living under the blessing of God, isn't it? That it may be well with you, and you live long on the earth. Now, and we're going to contrast that though, with Romans. Turn with me, if you would, to Romans chapter 1, please. Turn with me to Romans 1, 24 through 32. Romans 1 24 through 32 let's see I'm going to call on some people to read there if you'll read it on my stop you should be three first 24 points therefore God gave you over 26 okay sir if you will read verse 28 What did God do to these people? He gave them over, didn't he? Is that good or bad? That's the judgment of God, isn't it? Allowing a people or a nation to do whatever they want is the ultimate judgment of God, isn't it? You see, we have allowed the world to turn this around. What is a good mommy? Well, she has a happy child. That child gets to do whatever the child wants. What's a bad mommy? Well, this is a legalistic mother. She's not a gracious mommy. She's not a merciful mommy. Her child has to what? Obey. Her child doesn't get to have any fun. Her child is disciplined. Well, let's look at some of these things. Let's make a list here. Let's go back to verse 29. Call out some things in verse 29. What's the first thing in verse 29? What? God gave them over to things which are not proper. What are some of these things? Pardon me? Verse 29. We'll start. What did you say, dear? Unrighteousness. Unrighteousness. Okay. What else? Wickedness. Wicked. Okay. What else? Greed. Greed. Okay. Good. What else? Depraved. Depraved. Okay. That's good. We have murder there, don't we? Okay. What else? Envy. Envy. Gossips. Okay. Let's go down to verse 30. What else? What's their relationship with God? They hate God, don't they? Okay. Now, is this the type of people that you want your child playing with? Is this the type? When God looks down on the earth, is this the class of people you want God to associate your child with? Yes or no? Well, what else? Besides hating God, being insolent, arrogant, boastful, and invading people, what else does this child do? What does it say? They misbehave. They misbehave. They misbehave. They misbehave. They misbehave. They misbehave. They misbehave. They misbehave. They misbehave. They misbehave. They misbehave. They misbehave. They misbehave. They misbehave. They misbehave. They misbehave. They misbehave. They misbehave. They misbehave. They misbehave. They misbehave. They misbehave. They misbehave. They misbehave. They misbehave. They misbehave. They misbehave. They misbehave. And you could say to me, John, I just don't see how my three-year-old disobeying me is the same way as hating God, or being wicked, or being a murderer. I just don't think they're in that class. But it doesn't matter what we think, does it? That's neither here nor there. When I'm sharing Christ with someone, and I share Hebrews 9, 27, it's appointed for me to die once, and after that comes judgment, and the person looks across the table at me and says, well, I don't think a loving God will send anyone to hell. That's neither here nor there, is it? God is not what we believe, is he? We believe what God is as revealed in his word. And God's value system is not what we believe. By grace, we believe God's value system as revealed in his holy word. And God says children who are disobedient to their parents are in this class of people. And that's not a good class. And your job as a parent is to move them over, isn't that? Your job as a parent is to move them over. It's to move them from this class who are under the judgment of God and move them over to this class of people who are under the blessing of God. And how do we do that? How do we move a child over? What does the Bible say? What does the Bible say? But these children are foolish. They're under the judgment of God. Turn with me in the book of Proverbs please. Turn with me in the book of Proverbs. Proverbs 23, 13 and 14. Do not hold discipline. Although you beat him with the rod, he will not pass. You shall beat him with the rod and do what? See the rod, the Hebrew word there is shebet. Shebet was a small tool. It had three uses. One of its tools was to beat dill and cumin. It was a cooking utensil like we use our wooden stool for. And Hebrew women would beat dill and they would beat cumin and they would separate it out. And a shepherd had a rod, it was also the exact same utensil, and they kept it like this, and they would be working along, and there would be a sheep there, and the sheep wouldn't do what it was supposed to, and they would go... wrap it on the head, get its attention, and they'd go... And then all parents had rods, and they would stand their children like that. The same thing. A sheephead, a short cooking utensil, a short tool, It's a tool of grace. And with that tool of grace, we move disobedient children who are under the curse of God to obedient children who are under the blessing. For foolishness is bowed up in the heart of a child. Now, whenever I teach on this subject, people always say, well, isn't there other ways to discipline a child other than the rock? And I always say, yes, but they're extremely... they're extremely... They're not taught in the Bible. You know, if you go into the one ed section of the Chronicle, you can go over to the medical section, and there are drug companies, and my father used to be of clinical research associated with a pharmaceutical company, and they advertise people to experiment with on drugs. doctor's appointments, and you get free drugs, and you get free, you know, maybe you'll get the real thing, you might be part of the double blind, you know, you never know what the side effects are, but it's free, right? But you know, in all the years we've lived in Houston now, some twenty-odd years, we have never signed our children up for any of that research. Why? We don't experiment on our children. And, boy, timeouts, stimulus response, rewards, all these different things, kind of, you know, reasoning, all these things flow in and out of the church and society. But they're all experimental, I think. And we never experimented with our children. We didn't experiment with our children. Now, when Eleanor and I were first married, we did not have Christian parents, and we did not grow up in Christian homes. So we got a notebook, and every time that we came in contact with parents who had obedient, well-mannered, successful children, we would ask them how they accomplished it. And they would always say, well, you've got to love them. Just love them to death. Well, we had observed that So he said, no, give us something practical. They said, well, pray. You've got to pray a minute. Pray a minute for the kingdom. Pray a minute. Well, we noticed that people with rebellious children seemed to pray more than children. So we would say, yes, but when we were out with your children, they all ate all of their food. And they were so little. How did you get them to sit square at the table and eat? And they would say, oh. And then they would begin to tell us. And we would begin to write. And that's how we came to God. That was the basis of this scenario. I wasn't interested in what people I didn't know, whose children I didn't know, thought might work. I wanted people that I did know, whose children were all walking with God, had figured out how to apply what the Bible And I see these folks and people say well so-and-so he says it's this or that I say well Who is this guy and what are his children like? That's right. Well, you know me here I am and I give you the testimony of my children and we'll be looking at what the Bible says in the coming weeks well, we thank you for this time together and we pray pray your blessings on our marriages and on our family and on our children, grant grace that we might obey and apply your word successfully in all that we are, all that we do, and in the raising of our children.