The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God stands forever. Please give me your ear as I read the eternal words of God. Found in Matthew chapter 19, one through 12. Now it happened that when Jesus had finished these words, he departed from Galilee and came into the region of Judea beyond the Jordan. And large crowds followed him and he healed them there. And some Pharisees came to Jesus testing him and saying, is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all? And he answered and said, have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female and said for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together let no man separate. They said to him, Why then did Moses command to give her a certificate of divorce and send her away? He said to them, because of your hardness of heart, Moses permitted you to divorce your wives. But from the beginning, it has not been this way. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual or immortality, immorality, and marries another woman, commits adultery. The disciple said to him, if the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry. But he said to them, not all men can accept this statement, but only those to whom it has been given. For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother's womb. And there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men. And there are also eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to accept this, let him accept it. May God bless the reading of his word. You may be seated. Good morning, Hayden Bible Church. Let's turn in our Bibles. Now, if you haven't already, let's turn to Matthew 19, and with God's help, we'll seek to understand his heart. Before we jump into the text, though, I do wanna just reiterate, Pastor Babu, how glad we are that you're here. my dear brother and friend, and please join us after this service. There will be a reception where we'll get to hear a lot more from Pastor Babu, and we've got the place rented all day, so we'll have plenty of time to just hear his heart and hear the amazing reality of how God is building his kingdom in northern India. Matthew 19, if you're visiting with us this morning, let me just say how glad we are that you're here. And let's just say, hypothetically, you were visiting from someplace like, I don't know, Nebraska, someplace like that. And you're thinking, well, this sounds a lot like part two of a sermon that was preached last week. That's because that's what it is, all right? And we normally don't roll this way, but we decided in the first service last week, wait a minute, this is a two-parter. And so this morning we have part two of Jesus' teaching on marriage and divorce. And I'm gonna repeat just, hopefully just enough to kind of wake us up to remember where we were last week. Remember Jesus said, with respect to the hardness of man's heart, he said, from the beginning it has not been this way, meaning what? from the beginning, from God's perfect design for marriage. He did not design marriage to be the revolving door that it had become by the time of Jesus walking the earth. It had even become a revolving door even back in Moses' day. And so, Jesus, the heart of our King is to let us know that we want to always go back to God's design for marriage. How was it in the beginning? In the beginning, when God created Adam and Eve and brought them together, God instituted the union of one man to one woman for life. What is a marriage? The world today, the culture today is confused about this. Marriage is the God-ordained union of one man to one woman in loyal love for life. So they are no longer two, says Jesus in verse six, but one flesh. Therefore God has joined together, let no man separate. Church, one of our brightest, most persuasive gospel witnesses in our community is simply the beauty of a true marriage. What do I mean by that? A husband and a wife, depending upon God, raising their children, if God blesses them with children, in covenant loyalty to Him, to God Himself, and to one another, as long as they both shall live. This is God's design. and God promises to enable those who step into his design. We've got, by God's grace, an awful lot of such marriages here at Hayden Bible Church. We've got marriages here that are just a few months old. I was blessed a few weeks ago to marry, actually I'm already married, but I officiated at the at the wedding of this couple, and they're now in Finland, of all places, where he is a professional volleyball player. Finland has a 55% divorce rate, one of the higher divorce rates in Europe, and it was such a privilege to be able to say to them, I know, I wondered that too, but it's on the Internet, so it has to be true. To be able to say to them, look guys, just think of the gospel witness that occurs in a culture where you just are married God's way. And you depend upon Him. That commends His gospel to the culture. We have some marriages here that are 50, 60, even 70 plus years. We spent a little bit of time Friday evening with a family who, dear man, 91 years old, Jesus called him home and there sat his precious wife of 73 years. How amazing is that? Marriage is a creation ordinance. It's a gift to mankind that was given before sin entered human experience. It's part of what God made and declared very good. And so, church, our privilege and challenge is to step into God's design and have the attitude toward marriage that declares to our community that it is very good, that this is a gift from God. And I pray that God gives us grace to show our community this very thing. That means that God's design for permanence in marriage has not changed. That's where we left off last week or it's where I did and nobody complained about it. But I did hear, listen, I did hear. Pastor, it seems like you're a little tone deaf in some of this stuff, in light of what's going on in the world today. And let me just say, our job is not to be in tune with the culture. Our job is not to be in tune with what's happening out in the wide world. Our privilege is to get ourselves in tune with the Word of God. Okay? And so we'll just trust Him for grace to help us do that. Don't let the world, don't let the culture, don't let your social media, your entertainment tell you otherwise. Covenant marriage is God's design for building families. It's God's design for building communities and forming nations. And how many of you know covenant marriage is an essential part of God's design for bringing His kingdom, His gospel kingdom, to this world? For an awful lot of us, the mission field is not northern India. It's our home. So this morning we take our second look at this passage on marriage and divorce and singleness. And I want to just remind you where we've been, where we've been in Matthew 19. Jesus is now making his way from Galilee in northern India, Israel. He's making his way from northern Israel, in the Galilee, down toward Jerusalem, where what will happen? Well, he's been telling his men, he's been telling his closest followers, I'm gonna be arrested, I'm going to be killed by sinful men. God, the eternal Son, born into humanity, has come that he might live the holy life you and I have not lived, and then die to atone for the sins of his people. Call his name Jesus. He will save his people from their sins. The cross looms now as Jesus makes his way to Jerusalem. And on the way, these Pharisees, these legalistic religious leaders who have been pecking at Jesus and pestering and trying to entrap Jesus with their questions show up again, and they ask him this question about divorce. Is it true, Jesus, that a man can divorce his wife for any reason at all? And the question really flowed from the fact that in that culture, that's what was happening. We didn't invent divorce on demand. That had been happening even back in Jesus' day. As you remember from last week, it was happening in Moses' day. And these Pharisees come and they're hoping that he will do what? That he will provide an answer that will lead him toward the future that John the Baptist experienced. When he was preaching on marriage, John the Baptist was beheaded. If marriage is meant to be permanent, Jesus, then why did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce in some instances? And last week we went back and we looked at the Mosaic case law in Deuteronomy 24, which had created this debate among God's people. What exactly did God mean when he said a husband may divorce his wife if he has found some indecency in her? Do you remember this from last week? Nod your head if you remember this, because I'll just keep going if you don't. All right. It's referring to sexual immorality. But in that culture, it had been taken to mean anything. Anything could be considered indecent. Maybe she wasn't a very good cook. That's indecent. Maybe her family's really irritating. That's indecent. Just about anything. Do not look around the room. Up here, people. You see what sinful man does. He wants to know where the loopholes are. And Jesus is saying in this text, in response to this question from wicked men, I want my people to stop looking for loopholes. I want you to stop looking for technicalities and get back to God's design for marriage as it was in the beginning. And so Jesus says, you know, with respect to the Mosaic case law, yes, it is true. Because of sin, divorce was an allowance that was made in very limited circumstances. How limited are these circumstances? Look at verse 9. Whoever divorces his wife except for sexual immorality and marries another woman commits adultery. That term sexual immorality, the Greek word porneia, as some of you know, gives us our English word for pornography. It's a very broad term for any kind of sexual expression outside of covenant marriage. So let me just stop here and remind us that sexual intimacy is for marriage alone. All else, God says, is considered immoral. We don't make stuff up on our own. We go back to the beginning. We go back to God's design. and see what he has designed for us in this gift of marriage and this adultery that would take place broke the one flesh union that a covenant marriage represents and in such heartbreaking instances of that kind of disloyalty God allows, listen, but does not command and does not commend Divorce. In other words, by God's grace, forgiveness and repentance and reconciliation is still possible. I read somewhere, someplace, that with God, all things are possible. With God's help, a marriage can survive the worst sins. Say, how can that be? Can you not think of the grace that won you to Christ? The mercy that won you to Christ? The forgiveness that God has extended to you and to me in marrying himself to us in the gospel. So remarriage was allowed in Moses' day and still is in our day because of the heartbreak of infidelity, of adultery. But church, I wanna just say this for the sake of clarity because we're meant to represent God's design for marriage in our community. God does not in any circumstance command or commend divorce. In fact, God said through the prophet Malachi, when his people were treating marriage like a revolving door, not at all unlike our culture, through the prophet, God says, for I hate divorce. says Yahweh, the God of Israel. Marriage is meant to be a reflection and witness to the world of the loyal love between God and His elect people. And how many of you know it ceases to be that when the church adopts the culture's very lax approach to marriage? You're still listening. Every monogamous union of one man to one woman for life is like a little echo of Eden. You can't find Eden on a map. I don't care what you see on YouTube. You can't find Eden on a map. The flood took care of that. But there is an echo of Eden. There is an echo of God's perfect design in marriage. Though it involves two imperfect people. So God's design for permanence in marriage has not changed. But here's the thing. The people who come into covenant marriage now ever since the fall have been changed by sin's curse, haven't we? Of course we have. And God's grace meets his people in the complex realities of broken marriage covenants. I urge you to hear this. Divorce is not an unforgivable sin. Some of you have been, I would call it, the victims of a divorce. You didn't want that. And we go back to where we were a couple of weeks ago in Jesus' teaching on forgiveness and the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. Forgiveness is a one-way street. Reconciliation is a two-way street, isn't it? It involves that other person. You can't always be reconciled to someone, though you've forgiven them. Jesus did not die for the sins of his people except for adulterers, except for those who have experienced divorce. And so I just urge us as a church to have a grace-laced response in helping those who have experienced divorce. You're not second-class citizens. You're not second-class Christians. Amen, church? God graciously allows two exceptions to marriage permanence. Adultery, I think that's been made clear, but also abandonment by an unbelieving spouse. In ancient Greeks, the Corinthian church, as many of you know, lived in one of the most permissive cultures on planet Earth at the time. And the Apostle Paul acknowledged to the Corinthian believers situations where, you know, two pagan people get married. One of them, by God's grace, repents and receives Christ as Savior. The other spouse, not so much, and doesn't want anything to do with the Jesus people, including his or her own spouse. And I want you to just listen to what God communicates to us through the Apostle Paul. This is 1 Corinthians 7, 13. A woman who has an unbelieving husband and he consents to live with her, she must not divorce her husband. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband. For otherwise your children are unclean, and now they are holy. Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave. The brother or the sister is not enslaved in such cases, but God has called us to peace." If you were not saved when you got married, And God graciously saved you, opened your eyes to see your lostness so that you repented of your sin and you ran to God's remedy for sin, the cross of Jesus. And you've taken shelter in the love of God for you. But sadly, your spouse has not. And that is a very hard circumstance to be in. And that spouse agrees to stay married, you're to stay married, Paul says. But in an instance, and why would he say that? Let's just think this through. Better to have them under the gospel influence of you in that home. Better to have the children with you under the gospel influence in that home than apart. And yet Paul says, if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave. The brother or sister is not enslaved in such cases. In other words, if he or she is unwilling to remain married, they say, hey, it's either Jesus or me. Jesus wins that one every time. Amen? So again, for the sake of clarity, the Bible allows two exceptions to marriage permanence, adultery and abandonment by an unbelieving spouse. And people sometimes ask, well, then what about remarriage? Many in our fellowship have experienced remarriage and the blessing of covenant marriage in that kind of a context where divorce is permissible. So is remarriage. In Paul's vernacular, the brother or the sister is not enslaved in such cases. But Jesus gives a word of caution to anyone who is considering marriage to a divorcee. We need wise counsel in these matters because if the divorce was not on biblical grounds, There's still, you know, with God all things are possible. There's still a possibility of repentance and reconciliation, forgiveness. Listen to Jesus' words. This is Mark's version of this same discourse. Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. If she herself divorces her husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery. Remember the context. Jesus is speaking to men with wicked hearts who wanted to hear him sanction the revolving door policy about marriage that was so common in the culture. Jesus says, no, I want my people to go back to God's original design for marriage. Well, the disciples hear this teaching. And they are even more stunned than some of you appear to be right now. Because this was not what they were hearing from their teachers. This is not what they heard from the scribes and Pharisees. Divorce was rampant in their culture. And Mark's gospel tells us that the king's men actually waited until the Pharisees were gone. They waited till they continued their journey. They found an Airbnb or something on their way down to Judea, and that's when they asked Jesus the question, or the statement, I guess, they make in verse 10. The disciples said to him, if the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it's better not to marry. Just let the gravity of that statement settle in. These guys are understanding what Jesus' teaching about marriage really is. Jesus, if marriage by God's design has no easy escape clause, if it's not the revolving door our culture has made it to be, why would anyone want to get married? If marriage is a lifelong covenant before God, not a man-made contract easily broken, why would anybody get married? I think we accept the gravity of that statement when we come to realize that marriage is not something to enter lightly, or casually, or without full dependence upon God. You're hearing this. Some of you have heard of Hernan Cortes, the Spanish explorer who thought he had discovered Mexico, although the people in Mexico would disagree with that. There were already people there. But he came to Mexico in the 1500s and began to explore and exploit, as it turns out. But anyway, Cortes His guys were so tired from the journey from Spain, and he wanted to make sure they were all in for this mission, that he ordered the ships they were on after they landed to be burned. Burn the ships, scuttle the ships. I want to make sure my people know that we're not turning back. And, you know, Jesus wants his people to view marriage much the same way. Not as something that involves a ready escape clause, but we want to be, as God's people, those who say, you know what, we don't throw the word divorce around lightly. We want to think of divorce as not something we're holding out as an option. Does divorce sometimes happen? Absolutely. And it is a heartache. That's not a big enough word. And it is devastating to many of our families, even in this church. It's like a shipwreck, really. And when there's a shipwreck, what do you do? You run for the survivors, that's what you do, with grace and with mercy and with help. And I pray that we, as a fellowship, are that kind of church, that the vibe here is one of tenderness and real help. toward those who have had this kind of an experience. But I divorce the exception, though it's normative in the culture, the rule is what? The church is meant to lead the way in our community in redeeming marriage for the glory of God. This is part of our witness in Hayden, Idaho. This is part of our witness in Coeur d'Alene. Even up in Athol and Spirit Lakes, or the third world parts of Kootenai County. Listen, the fragrance of the gospel is palpable in a marriage when God is in it. Jesus is reminding his men, God is in it. Take care. And it begs the question then, how? Remember the disciples just come right out and say, isn't it just better not to get married since there's no ships left? I mean, if the ships are burned. Look at verse 11. And Jesus said to them, not all men can accept this statement, but only those to whom it has been given. And I urge you to circle that phrase, can accept this statement. Do it in your friend's Bible if you don't mark in yours so you don't forget this stuff. Jesus is not saying, you know, some people will agree with this, some people won't. Just go with your gut on this stuff. That's not what he's talking about. How many of you know Jesus is not asking whether you and I agree with him or not in this teaching? To accept this statement is to have capacity in your nature that is suitable for it. If God calls you to marriage, then he's going to give you capacity for marriage. He's going to enable that marriage. If you have a five-gallon bucket, how many of you could tell me how much water would fit in that bucket? Anybody? One at a time. You see how deep this theology is? This is really complex stuff. It'll hold that which it's been created for. So it is with marriage. To accept, the Greek word is koreo, means to contain something. Most men and women, by God's design, are made suitable for marriage. And as we trust in Him, He enables us in that marriage. You could say most men and women have capacity for that with God's help. This is how God builds family. This is how God builds community and so on. This is how God brings His gospel to the world. And to those whom this capacity is given, they're suitable then for marriage, not perfect people, but enabled people with God's help. And by the way, you're still listening, this same Greek word koreo is used elsewhere in your New Testament to describe salvation itself. God's grace is such that all who turn to Him in repentance and faith in Christ will be saved. Amen? The called of God, the chosen of God, remember the scripture says salvation is of the Lord, are given the capacity to repent and to turn to Christ. Friends, if we're not careful, right here in the middle of a message about marriage, we might just hear the gospel. Have you responded to the call of God to repent of your sins? Your repeated adulteries against God? Your idolatry? You're putting other things ahead of God? Have you repented? Maybe I should say, are you a repentant person? And you're trusting in Jesus, who was born into this world to live out the perfect loyalty to God that you were created to live and have not. And then went to that cross and took upon himself the hell that your sin deserves, mine too. and was raised again in the power of an endless life, a life he imparts to all who turn to him. Does that describe you? Second Peter 3.9 says this, the Lord is not slow about his promise, as some consider slowness, but is patient toward you, not willing for any of you to perish, but for all to come to repentance. What's he talking about? That word kareo, come to, you know, come to repentance. God is calling you. Maybe he's calling you today. What do you do? He's given you the capacity to repent and trust in Christ. Does that make sense? And that marriage of soul to God by His grace can actually be reflected in this design of God for marriage. I urge you to pay attention here, not because we're almost out of time, but because we're going in a direction now. Jesus says, not all men can accept this statement, but only those to whom it is given. Young people, listen. If God has given you, is giving you the gift of marriage, I just want to encourage you. He will enable you to honor that marriage, covenant. He will enable you to enjoy that marriage. He always equips what He calls you to. God who joins a husband and a wife together as one flesh helps them keep that marriage covenant. He is faithful. Amen? But listen, some people by God's design do not have the capacity for marriage. You guys have been waiting for verse 12. Let's just get on with it here. Marriage is not given to all, is it? Like whom? Who does not have the capacity for marriage? Look at verse 12. For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother's womb. There are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men. And there are also eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He was able to accept this. Let him accept it." That seems perfectly clear. Let's just close in prayer. What is this? What's this eunuch stuff? Let's take it in small bites. There are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother's womb. Some people are born physiologically unsuited for marriage. The one flesh union with another is not possible. What's another reason Jesus says eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men? It was a thing in Jesus' day still. for some rulers to castrate their high-ranking officials, those who would guard the harem, if you will, that sort of thing, to prevent disloyalty, let's put it that way. And that was a wicked practice. But it happened. It happened. And such people who were victims of that kind of cruelty and brutality, not given to marriage then, how do you suppose they should be treated by the church? With grace and mercy. But it's this third reason that some are not given to marriage that I want to focus on and we'll end with this, although not right away, so don't get the wrong idea. There are also eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Jesus is using a euphemism here to refer to those who are called to singleness. Some are called to singleness so that they might serve the Lord in that capacity. Just as marriage is given by God, so is singleness given by God. If God is calling you to singleness, and again, you need wisdom from God, probably helped by others who are seeking God with you. If you are called to singleness, then you trust him to allow you to make room for that, to have capacity for that reality in your life. Intentionally celibate, single people are enabled by God to remain this way. The Apostle Paul comes to mind, right? What did Paul say to the Corinthians? God gives to some the gift of marriage and to others the gift of singleness. Again, what does Jesus mean when he says not all can accept it? Not all have the capacity for singleness. In fact, most God has shaped for marriage. It's how he builds family and community. And yet there are those gifted by God, enabled by God to live in singleness so that they might devote their lives fully to the Lord. I want to just, you guys still with me? I want to just say for the sake of clarity, what does Jesus not mean here when he's referring to this acceptance of singleness? Neither Jesus nor Paul are referring to the man or woman who is selfish and self-protective and single because marriage just seems like a kind of a messy deal. And I'd much rather just have my fun and my freedom and just not grow up. And so verse 12 of Matthew 19 is not talking about the 35-year-old boy in a man's body who is just avoiding marriage. Okay? And our culture is full of this kind of believing and living. The woman who is living with someone or has some kind of friends with benefits thing going on with someone, because it's easier that way than to get married, maybe for financial reasons, maybe for family reasons, you know, if that's you, You're living in sin and our role as your church family is to lovingly and tenderly call you out of that. Don't settle for so much less than God's best. We can't affirm that because we want to see you grow up in Christ. We want to see his gospel displayed more brightly in your life and in that relationship. So Matthew 19.12 is not referring to people who avoid marriage and child rearing for selfish, self-protective reasons. Secondly, Jesus is also not referring to the practice of forced celibacy that is common in Roman Catholicism. I just want to say that for the sake of clarity. There's no biblical basis whatsoever that a man or woman must be celibate, single, in order to best serve God in some capacity. That's a contortion of the scripture. Paul says this with respect to singleness. Again, 1 Corinthians 7, he says, Paul is affirming that there is such a thing as this God-given call to singleness. It's given to some, not most, but some, as is the gift of marriage given. And, in fact, topping the list of those whose singleness glorified God is who? Jesus, right? It's like when you were a little kid in Sunday school. The answer is always Jesus, right? Verse 12, he who is able to accept this, let him accept it. Let me just end with this, for real. Two minutes. Last week, last Lord's Day, and today, we've spent some time in Matthew 19, and by God's grace, we've been given a framework of knowledge from Scripture of how we're meant to view things like marriage, divorce, remarriage, singleness, gender identity. We talked about that a little bit last week. But have you noticed that Matthew 19 does not deal with any of the thousand or two specific things that are bouncing around in your head about your own experience or your family's experience or something like that. In other words, we need wisdom from God to apply this knowledge to the really specific circumstances of human life. We have a framework now, and what we do now with our...anybody have a messy life? What we do with that is we seek wisdom from God. James 1 says this, if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. How many of you are glad today that your Heavenly Father does not play hide the peanut with the wisdom that you need to live a life that brings Him glory in a fallen world? He won't do that. So we ask for wisdom, but we don't want to ask for wisdom alone. Bless you. We want to ask for wisdom in the context of the body of Christ. This is why we have elders in our church who will come our way and pray with us about our really specific circumstances. This is why we have biblical counselors. who by God's grace know the Word of God and can help us find wisdom from God about our particular circumstances. And by the way, this is why you, Christian, are meant to be in meaningful discipling relationships with other believers who also are seeking God's wisdom with you and for you. Does that make sense? Proverbs 11.14 says this, where there is no counsel, the people fall. But in the multitude of counselors, there is safety. Proverbs 12, the thoughts of the righteous are just, but the guidance of the wicked is deceitful. Do you realize we live in a world today where even counsel can be such that somebody will just stick a Jesus fish on it and call it Christian, and they'll tell you exactly what they think you want to hear. You don't need that. What you need is wisdom from God, from the Word of God, prayerfully and ministered with the help of God's people. The way of an ignorant fool is right in his own eyes. but a wise man is he who listens to counsel. Amen? Alright, that's it. Let's close. Father, we thank you so much for the truth of your word. We thank you that there is not a thing in life, in this fallen world, that somehow is not addressed by your truth. You are so kind to us, Lord. And I thank you for this truth that you have revealed to us today. And Lord, I pray that you would do what only you can do, that you would minister it to our hearts, that you would give us ears to hear, that we might rightly think and rightly live out this design for marriage that you've reminded us of. We thank you, Lord Jesus, that A marriage involving two sinners saved by grace is used of you to say much of your gospel to those who are apart from you. And so, Lord, we ask you for this enablement, and we do so, Jesus, in your name.