The Autobiography of George Whitefield Section 3 From the time of my first leaving the university to go to Gloucester till the time of my ordination to the ministry, as fast as I got strength after my sickness, my tutor, physician, and some others were still urging me to go into the country, hoping thereby to divert me, as they thought, from a too intense application to religion. I had for some time been aware of their design and wrote letters beseeching my mother if she valued my soul not to lay her commands on me to come down. She was pleased to leave me to my choice, but finding at last it was necessary for my health and many other providential circumstances pointing out my way. After earnest prayer for supper, by the advice of my friends, I left my sweet retirement at Oxford and went to Gloucester, the place of my nativity. Having now attained mercy from God and received the spirit of adoption in my heart, my friends were surprised to see me look and behave so cheerfully after the many reports they had had concerning me. However, I soon found myself to be as the sheep sent forth among wolves in sheep's clothing. For they immediately endeavored to dissuade me, as they had lately done, a friend that began with me, from a constant use of the means of grace, especially from weekly abstinence and receiving the blessed sacrament. But God enabled me to resist Him steadfast in the faith, and by keeping close to Him in His holy ordinances I was made to triumph over all. Being accustomed for some time to live without spiritual companions, and finding none that would join heartily with me, No, not one. I watched on the prayer all the day long, beseeching God to raise me some religious associates in His own way and time. I will endeavor either to find or make a friend. It had been my resolution now for some time, and therefore, after importunate prayer one day, I resolved to go to the house of one Mrs. to whom I had formerly read plays, spectators, popes, homers, and such like trifling books, hoping the alterations she now would find in my sentiments might under God influence her soul. God was pleased to bless a visit with a desired effect. She received the word gladly. She wanted to be taught the way of God more perfectly and soon became a fool for Christ's sake. Not long after, God made it instrumental to awaken several young persons who soon formed themselves into a little society, and they quickly dehonored being despised at Gloucester as we had been before at Oxford. Thus all that will live godly in Christ Jesus must suffer persecution. My mind being now more open and enlarged, I began to read the Holy Scriptures upon my knees, laying aside all other books and praying over, if possible, every line and word, disprove mean indeed and drink indeed to my soul. I daily received fresh life, light, and power from above. I got more true knowledge from reading the Book of God in one month than I could ever have acquired from all the writings of men. In one word, I found it profitable for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness. every way sufficient to make the men of God perfect, thoroughly furnished to every good word and work. During my absence from Oxford, I spent three weeks in Bristol, where I went to see some relations, but could not do them much good because of the prejudices they had conceived against me. However, I daily walked with God, and going to visit an aunt then in the almshouse there, God brought in my way a young woman who was hungry and thirsting after righteousness. She received a word into an honest and good heart, and since has proved a true follower of Jesus Christ. So gracious was the Lord, even in these my very early days, not to leave himself without witness, and that he thus vouchsafed to bless my poor endeavors in every place where to his providence now sent me. According to his abundant mercy, he also raised me up some temporal supplies. For some considerable time I followed the example of Professor Frank, and when I wanted any worldly assistance, pleaded the scripture promises for the things of this life, as well as that for witches to come, in the name of Jesus Christ. This is still my practice, and I never failed of success. When I came to Oxford, on account of my sickness and other extraordinary and unavoidable expenses, I owed, I think, about twelve or thirteen pounds, and when I went to Bristol I was so poor that I was obliged to borrow money of my kind hostess, Mrs. H., with whom I lodged at Gloucester, and whose husband and family I pray God eternally to bless, to bear my charges on the road. This, I bless God, did not dishearten me, but I continued pleading the promises in the name of Christ. And soon after my coming to Bristol, I received an answer. For a brother of mine coming from sea, God inclined him to give me four guineas and some other necessaries. And when I returned to Gloucester, as I did after I had continued a short while at Bristol, Those whom I expected to assist me did not, but persons I never spoke to and who I thought were my enemies were raised up to supply my wants and fulfill that promise which I always pleaded. Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you. Oh, what sweet communion had I daily vouchsafed with God in prayer after my coming again to Gloucester. How often have I been carried out beyond myself when sweetly meditating in the fields? How assuredly have I felt that Christ dwelt in me and I in Him? And how did I daily walk in the comforts of the Holy Ghost, and was edified and refreshed in a multitude of peace? Not that I was always upon the mount. Sometimes a cloud would overshadow me, but the sun of righteousness quickly arose and dispelled it, and I knew it was Jesus Christ that refilled himself to my soul. I always observed as my inward strength increased, so my outward sphere of action increased proportionably. In a short time, therefore, I began to read to some poor people twice or thrice a week. I likewise visited two other little societies besides my own, and almost every day, both then and since, have found a benefit of being tempted myself, because that alone taught me how to give proper advice to those that came to me when they were tempted. Occasionally, as business and opportunity permitted, I generally visited one or two sick persons every day, and though silver and gold I had a little of my own, yet in imitation of my Lord's disciples, who entreated in behalf of the fainting multitude, I used to pray for them, and he from time to time inclined several that were rich in this world to give me money, so that I generally had a little stock for the poor always in my hand. One of the poor whom I visited in this manner was called affectionately by God as at the eleventh hour. She was a woman about three score years old and I really believe died in the true faith of Jesus Christ. About this time God was pleased to enlighten my soul and bring me into the knowledge of his free grace and the necessity of being justified in his sight by faith alone. This was more extraordinary because my friends at Oxford had rather inclined to the mystic divinity. And one of them, a dear servant of the Lord, lately confessed he did not like me so well when at Oxford as the rest of his brethren, because I held justification by faith only. And yet he observed I had most success. But, blessed be God, most of us have now been taught this doctrine of Christ. and I hope she'll be willing to die in the defense of it. It is a good old doctrine of the Church of England. It is what the holy martyrs in Queen Mary's time sealed with their blood, in which I pray God, if need be, that I and my brethren may seal with ours. Birkitz and Matthew Henry's expositions were of admirable use to lead me into this and all other gospel truths. For many months have I been almost always upon my knees to study and pray over these books. The Holy Spirit, from time to time, has led me into the knowledge of divine things, and I have been directed by watching and reading the Scriptures in this manner, even in the minutest circumstances, as plainly as the Jews were, when consulting the Urim and the Thummim at the high priest's breast. Justus of Laine's alarm to the unconverted. Richard Baxter's call to the unconverted. and James Janeway's life, which I read at leisure hours, much benefited me. To bless God, the partition wall of bigotry and sect religion was soon broken down in my heart. For as soon as the love of God was shed abroad in my soul, I loved all, of whatever denomination, that love the Lord Jesus in sincerity of heart. During my stay here, God enabled me to give a public testimony of my repentance as to seeing an acting place. For hearing the strollers were coming to town, and knowing what an egregious offender I had been, I wrestled with God in prayer to put me in a way to manifest my abhorrence of my former sin and folly. In answer to this, I was stirred up to extract William Law's excellent treatise entitled The Absolute Unlawfulness of the Stage Entertainment. God gave me favor in the printer's sight, and at my request, he put a little of it in the news for six weeks excessively, and God was pleased to give it his blessing. Having been absent for about six months from the university, I thought it time to think of returning there. But before I came to a resolution, I was convinced of the contrary. At my first coming to Gloucester, being used to visit the prisoners at Oxford, I prayed most earnestly that God would open a door for me to visit the prisoners here also. Quickly after, I dreamed that one of the prisoners came to be instructed by me, and it was impressed much upon my heart. In the morning I went to the door of the county jail. I knocked but nobody came to open it. I thought the hour was not yet come. I waited still upon God in prayer and then some months after came a letter from a friend at Oxford desiring me to go to one Pipworth who had broken out of Oxford jail and was retaken at Gloucester. As soon as I read this letter it appeared to me that my prayer was now answered. Immediately I went to the prison assuredly gathering that the Lord called me there. I met with the person, and finding him and some others willing to hear the word of God, having gained leave of the keeper and two ordinances, I constantly read to and prayed with him every day I was in town. I also bade money for them, whereby I was enabled to relieve some of them, and cause provision to the distributed weekly amongst them. It is also to put such books into their hands as I judged most proper. I cannot say any one of the prisoners was effectually wrought upon. However much evil was prevented, many were convinced, and my own soul was much edified and strengthened in the love of God and man. Thus employed, I continued in my own city three months longer, despised indeed by man, but highly blessed by the grace of God. My understanding was enlightened, my will broken, and my affections more and more enlivened with a zeal for Christ. Many such, I believe, were added to our little society as shall be saved. Fresh supplies came from unexpected hands to defray my expenses at the university. And at the end of nine months I returned there to the mutual joy and comfort of my friends till I was called to enter into holy orders, the particular circumstances of which I shall now relate in the following section.