Amen. What a blessing to sing back to the Lord the very hymns that he sanctioned and inspired for his people to sing. If you would please let's take our Bibles out together and we want to turn back to the book of Ephesians as we continue in our study of Ephesians. And we are looking in these days at the subject of the home and specifically dealing with the subject of marriage. responsibilities of wives and of husbands as God has revealed in his word. If you would please we want to take up a reading again in verse 25 as we continue dealing with the subject of husbands. Paul writes under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, Ephesians 5 and verse 25, Husbands, love your wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for her, that he might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that he might present her to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself, for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This is a great mystery. but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless, let each one of you, in particular, so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Let's now join together before the Lord in prayer. Heavenly Father, we bow before you as again we open up your holy word. And Father, we come today as your people eager humble and ready to receive the precious truth of your word, that truth, that glorious, glorious revelation of infallible and inerrant truth, which is able to save our souls. Father, it is our prayer that we here today would not merely be hearers, and not merely those who understand what your word says, but by your enablement and grace, we would be convicted and convinced that it is our duty to implement every area of practical application so that we might walk in your ways, so that we might honor you in our homes and families and marriages, so that we would live to your honor and to your glory. Father, it is our prayer that you would bless our homes, our marriages, and that they would be a testimony that our lives lived out in the midst of this wicked and perverse generation would be salt and light, giving illumination by our very living of that which your will is. and convicting that reality that is absent in lost homes. Father, may you draw sinners to yourself, may you add to your church, and in all things, may you receive the honor, praise, and glory. We pray all of this in Christ's name, amen. We, of course, are looking at this section of Ephesians, which actually begins in verse 22 and runs all the way down through to the end of the chapter, where Paul is presenting the God-ordained roles of wives and husbands in marriage. These things are timeless and eternal. They are not merely for biblical times or the days of the New Testament, but they are the instruction and the revealed will of God for God's people throughout the ages, even for today. We have noted that wives, verses 22 through 24, are to submit to their husbands. And we said that this submission involves four things. It involves a reverencing of her husband, and obeying of her husband, and assisting for her husband, the idea of being a helpmate, and fourthly, exhibiting modesty for her husband. We then move to the subject of the husband, beginning in verse 25. And we said basically the traditional approach of the reformers, the Puritans, and historic Christianity is that there is this twofold division of the responsibility of the husband. He is to love and lead his wife. Loving and leading. We said that husbands are to love their wives, and we spent three weeks talking about what that means practically. What does it mean for a husband to love his wife? Well, in verse 25, the example is Christ himself, amen? Husbands, we are to love our wives as Christ so loved the church and gave himself for her. We are to live selflessly and that love is sacrificially in that manifestation of the love we have for our spouse. Then we said that not only is there to be loving, there is to be the leading of our wives. It isn't one or the other. Indeed, any version of loving our wives that has absent the idea of leading is not true biblical love shown to our wives. And we said that this leading of our wives is, after again, the pattern and model of the Lord Jesus and his church. Paul takes pains to point out in our text, verses 22 through 24, that Christ is the head of the church, and in like manner, husbands are the heads of their wives. That speaks not of source, but of authority. We said, well, how are we to lead our wives? How are we to lead our homes? And we said, well, we are to follow Christ's example. And then we said that we are to follow that threefold office of Christ. Now, this is not anything particular to my teaching. This is found in most of the Puritans, whether it is William Gouge or Gurnall, or even contemporaries like Joel Beakey in his teaching on the home. We are to follow that threefold office, husbands, in that we are to be prophets, priests, and kings in the home. We, as prophets, are to be teaching and instructing in the home. As priests, we are to be sacrificially leading in the home and interceding on behalf of the members of the home. That was one of those primary duties of the priests, the ministry of intercession. And that, husbands, we are called to do for our wives, and if God blesses us with children, our children as well. And then we said, thirdly, that we are to serve in our homes, not only as prophet, not only as priest, but we are to serve as kings. We are to be ruling in the family. And that, of course, is a loving, guiding, and directing. It isn't a dictatorship. It isn't a harsh kind of autocratic leading, but it is leading nevertheless. And that is what God has ordained. Not only is this idea of being a king ruling in the family, but then we said two other things last time. We said it is recompensing the family, and thirdly, it is repelling all enemies, all dangers and threats that can come against the family. Husbands, it is our duty to be protectors in the home. Amen? Protectors of our wives. Protectors physically, in a literal sense. but protectors spiritually as we lead and we guide and we show that spirit guided supervision and protection for not only the bodies of our families but the souls of our families. Now today we want to continue in this theme and what I want to do, last week we just gave a very quick, basically a statement of these things. So we want to go back and we want to look more carefully at some of these subjects. Today we want to talk about Specifically, the duty of husbands in recompensing their wives. Recompensing their wives. This is one of those old, somewhat archaic words that Joel Beakey uses and that others use, whether it is Gurnall or Gouge or others who speak in the reformed historic Christian tradition. Basically, recompensing has to do with correcting and rewarding appropriately for actions in the home. This is the duty of husbands. Husbands are called in marriage positively to commend their wives when they do good. and husbands are called in the other side of the corner, you might say negatively, although I don't think it's negative, they are called to lovingly reprove their wives when their wives go amiss. This is a part of that duty that is a classic understanding in historic Christianity. So we just briefly blew over that last week. Let's dive into this a little more in detail. And let's take up, first of all, husbands are called to be commending their wives in well-doing. So if you have your Bibles, please take them out at this time and turn with me over to the book of Proverbs, Proverbs 31. Here we have one of the great examples of this reality. And we're not going to spend as much time on this idea of commending because I don't think there's going to be a lot of controversy with saying you ought to be praising your wife. I don't think anyone's going to offer up some big objection to that. It's the other one that's going to be a little bit more detailed. But here we have in Proverbs 31, verses 10 through 31, this description of a virtuous woman, a virtuous wife. This is a text of scripture that very often, if you go to the average Baptist church, this is what you'll hear preached on on Mother's Day. Am I right? That's typically what you will hear. And it is a beautiful, beautiful chapter. Really, it is structured poetically with the various letters of the Hebrew alphabet making up each verse in that beautiful structure of this passage. But notice with me in verse number 10, we see here, as Solomon states, the value of a virtuous woman. He says in verse 10, who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The idea of virtuous, the idea of moral righteousness, of blamelessness, of being an excellent wife. That's how some translations translate this word, an excellent wife. Excellent not in terms of the world's estimation, but in terms of biblical priorities, in terms of what God has revealed is holy and godly and virtuous and righteous. We see here that her value is stated, notice the second part of verse 10, her worth is far above rubies. Basically what he is saying here is that her value is priceless. You can't put a price tag on it. You know, we live in a world where everything has a price and people want to buy things. And they think that they can buy happiness and they can buy any kind of enjoyment so that their hearts are filled with happiness. But you can't really buy joy. You can't really buy happiness. And you cannot buy a virtuous wife. It is a priceless reality that she is godly and holy and she doesn't fall for the horrible, horrible, priceless culture and all of its influences on women today. The feminist movement and all of its trappings, which is utterly contrary to the ways and will of Almighty God. Her worth is priceless. In verses 11 down through verse 27, you have this long list of her excellent qualities and her moral character. She is faithful. She is loyal. She is diligent. She is engaged in productivity. There's all of these various things. We're familiar with this passage. And then we jump down to verse 28 and we read of her praise. And here we have this idea of that praise, that praise that we are to have for our wives. We read that her children praise her, verse 28, part A. Her children rise up and call her blessed. Notice part B in verse 28, her husband praises her. It says, her husband also and he praises her. Many daughters have done well, but you excel them all. Then notice in verse 30 and 31, she's even praised by her fellow citizens. Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing. But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her the fruit of her hands and let her own works praise her in the gates. The praise comes from her children, from her husband, and yes, from society that values the godliness which she exhibits in society. So we see here that her value is priceless, her virtues are numerous, and her praise, therefore, is appropriate. Husbands, what does this tell us? We need to be constantly, faithfully, sharing with our wives how we appreciate them. We need to be telling our wives, thank you. Thank you for making dinner. Thank you for folding the clothes. Now, these are her domestic duties, and these are the things that she ought to be doing, but we need to express appreciation for them. Amen? We need to be telling her, thank you for doing this. Yes, it is your duty before God, But you're doing a great job of it. And you're faithful in it. And you do it gladly with a heart that is joyful. And it is a praise that you are engaged in these various domestic duties. And you do not have a spirit of the age that balks at that. You feel blessed that you're called to that duty in domestic life. Say thank you to your wife. Say, I appreciate all that you do. Tell your wife that you love her regularly. And often, this will never be something that you should lay off from. Joel Beeke says this, and I quote, the husband must make a point. of praising her when she pleases him." Notice the language there. The husband must make a point. Not he could or he might, but he must. And so husbands, as you think about your duty there leading in your homes, you must praise your wife. You must be grateful for her. And not just literally in your heart, but you need to be verbalizing that with your lips and telling her how much you appreciate her. Well, congregation, I don't think there will be much pushback in that. We live in a day where, you know, you go at a church, and maybe on Mother's Day, and it's always about praising the wife and the mothers on those special days. And they ought to be praised, as we just said. But where the pushback comes is where the husband is called to also lovingly reprove and rebuke his wife when she does something amiss, something that is wrong. It is almost in churches today you would imagine by hearing the preaching that women never sin. And that it's only men who sin. We know the contrast. On Mother's Day, the mothers are praised. On Father's Day, what a wicked father you have been. You need to deal with your sins and be a better father. As if it is only the husbands who sin. And yet congregation, if this is somehow a surprise or a revelation, wives, Mothers, women, sin as well. Amen? This is a reality, even though we may have a hesitancy to say this in our culture today. Yes, women sin. Wives sin. And as husbands, you are to be engaged in dealing with their sins. This idea is that not to do so is to really not truly love your wife. Listen to the words of Dr. Joel Beakey in his book, Living in a Godly Marriage. He says, quote, on the negative side of the husband's recompensing, the husband must, now there's that word must again, must lovingly reprove his wife when she has done amiss. At first, this may seem out of place. Is it even healthy in a marriage? Should not the great love that he has for her overlook all her faults and leave her in the hands of God, who alone can work in her heart and bring about change? These objections sound plausible. but they miss an important element of the love of a husband which they presume to be advocating. He says those who say don't do this, they're just presuming to be advocating this love. He continues, according to Matthew 18, it is because of Christ's love for his people that he leaves the 99 and goes after the one who went astray, verses 10 through 14. And it is because of the love of our brother that we go to him when he wrongs us and tell him his fault in order that he might repent and our fellowship might be restored, verse 15. The point is clear. Love does not leave a brother in sin. Love pursues the loved one with a heart of forgiveness. Love seeks to recover, restore, and redeem. To leave a brother in sin, to see a brother go astray, and to say nothing To see a brother harm himself with transgression and not try to recover him, or to see a brother in danger because of his sin and do nothing to prevent it, is not love to him, but it is to hate him. In other words, if you don't deal with it, you're actually hating that brother. Joel Beakey continues. Now, if this is the case between brothers, then how much should this be the case between husband and wife, who are closer than brothers ever could be? The two of them have become one flesh. When a husband loves his wife, he loves himself, Ephesians 5, 28 and 29. If a brother may not let another brother go astray, then neither may a husband let his wife go astray. Rather, he must love her as Christ loves his church, whom he relentlessly and tirelessly pursues when she goes astray. Therefore, it is not a question of whether the husband has the authority or the responsibility. Rather, as with his directing, it is a question of how he is to exercise it. Hergation, Dr. Joel Vicky says here, and what he says is really the historic Christian view on the subject. If we love our wives, we will reprove and rebuke our wives for sin. Now, I want to begin today by considering, first of all, biblical examples of husbands reproving their wives. Do you realize that there are several examples in the Bible of husbands reproving their wives? William Gouge, in his fine work of domestical duties, points to three examples that I want us to briefly consider this morning. The first is found in Genesis. So turn with me, please, to Genesis chapter 30. Genesis chapter 30, and this is the example of Jacob and Rachel. Jacob and Rachel. Now we know the story of Jacob. Jacob married both Leah and Rachel, the two daughters of Laban. We know this story here, most of us already. And we read here about the barrenness of Rachel, his beloved. And notice what we read in Genesis 30 and verse 1. It says, now when Rachel saw that she bore Jacob no children, Rachel envied her sister and said to Jacob, listen to this statement, Give me children or else I die. Verse two, we hear the rebuke. And Jacob's anger was aroused against Rachel. And he said, am I in the place of God who has withheld from you the fruit of the womb? Here we see the rebuke, and it is a simple, short rebuke, which is really a question that he poses to her. Listen to the words of John Calvin on this text. He says, quote, the tenderness of Jacob's affection rendered him unwilling to offend his wife. And yet her unworthy conduct compelled him to do so when he saw her petulantly exalt herself, not only against her sister, who piously and thankfully was enjoying the gifts of God, but even against God himself. of whom it is said that the fruit of the womb is his reward. On this account, therefore, Jacob is angry because his wife ascribes nothing to the providence of God, and by imagining that children are the offspring of chance, would deprive God of the care and government of mankind. It is probable that Jacob had been already sorrowful on account of his wife's barrenness. He now therefore fears lest her folly should still further provoke God's anger to inflict more severe strokes. This was a holy indignation by which Jacob maintained the honor due to God while he corrected his wife and taught her that it was not without sufficient cause that she had been hitherto barren. For when he affirms that the Lord had shut her womb, he intimates that she ought, and more deeply, to humble herself. Here, John Calvin points out that he is correcting her. He's reproving her. He loves her so much that he can't let a statement like that just go without any comment. Matthew Poole says this, quote, Jacob's anger was kindled against Rachel for the injury done to himself and especially for the sin against God. In which case, anger is not only lawful, but necessary. Here, the anger that Jacob has, according to Matthew Poole and John Calvin, this is not a sinful form of anger. This is righteous indignation. as he deals with her sin. Here we see in this statement in verse 1, she did not show the proper respect that she ought to have shown to him. She spoke to him in a, according to the words of John Gill, an extravagant manner. She exhibited impatience And as John Calvin says here, basically speaks as if there isn't a God ruling and providence in the affairs of our lives. What an incredible thing. And so therefore, Jacob loved Rachel. Too much to let this kind of a comment just go and her not be reproved and lovingly corrected. Turn with me please in your Bibles over to a second example of this idea of reproving one's wife and it is found in Job chapter 2. This might be an example that some of us perhaps had already thought about whenever this subject had come up. Now we read from Job last week and we want to read again in chapter 2, we read from chapter 1, but in chapter 2 we read here about Job as he rebukes his wife. And we read in chapter 2 as we follow the narrative that of course Satan came to the Lord again a second time. And God says, have you considered my servant Job? Verse three, there is none like him on the earth, blameless and upright, who fears God and shuns evil. And in verse four, Satan answered the Lord and said, skin for skin, yes, all that a man has, he will give for his life, but stretch out your hand now and touch his bone and his flesh. And he will surely curse you to your face. The Lord said to Satan, Behold, he is in your hand, but spare his life. So Satan went out from the presence of the Lord and struck Joe with painful boils. from the sole of his foot to the crown of his head. And he took for himself a potsherd with which to scrape himself while he sat in the midst of the ashes." This is an incredible picture. He has all of these boils, these ulcerous, oozing boils from the top of his head to the bottom of his feet. And these, if you ever had a little sore and it's kind of oozing, it's not a pleasant thing. It's not something you want people to see. His whole body was covered with this. And he was oozing so much ickiness, if you want to use that word, that he actually took a pot shirt, a piece of pottery, and he was scraping. the pus and the oozing stuff off of his body. This is not a pretty picture. This is the pain that Job was experiencing. And notice, if you will, taking up our reading in verse number nine, Job's wife speaks in this situation. He says, then his wife said to him, do you still hold fast to your integrity? Curse God and die. Here the wife was questioning Job's fidelity, not the fact of it, but basically she was saying, why do you continue to be faithful at this point? Job's faith remained strong regardless of what came up on him. And that's why he is such a sterling example of blameless righteousness and faithfulness. She suggested to Job, well, why don't you let go of all of this piety? I mean, what's it gotten you, being so faithful and pious? What you need to do is curse God, and then perhaps because of blasphemy, God will strike you dead, and then you will no longer be suffering. It will all be better off and you'll be put out of your misery." What an incredible thing. She says to him, curse God. A horrible, heinous sin that she suggests that Job engage in. Well, notice in verse 10, Job's reproof or rebuke of his wife. But he said to her, you speak as one of the foolish women speaks. Shall we indeed accept good from God and shall we not accept adversity? In all this Job did not sin with his lips. Job rebuked her and he says, you speak as a foolish woman. Now, you need to understand the word here speaking of foolish is not just some kind of a silly, stupid thing. It's not like, well, you're saying something ridiculous. The idea of a fool in the Bible is the idea of someone who is evil and wicked. And he is saying to her in his rebuke of his wife, what you are saying is wicked. It is evil. It's the same kind of understanding of fool that is found, for example, in Psalm 14 in verse 1. The fool has said in his heart, there is no God. They are corrupt. They do abominable works. There is none who does good. That's the kind of word that Job is using here. You're speaking wickedly. You're speaking with an evil speech. to blaspheme God who would suggest that I curse God. And he corrects her by saying, shall we indeed accept good and not accept adversity? He says, God is sovereign over all things. And we should be thankful in all circumstances, as Paul declares in 1 Thessalonians. In everything give thanks, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. And so he rebuked her, and it is very appropriate that he should do so. And notice at the end of verse 10, in all of this Job did not sin with his lips, not even this direct and pointed rebuke of his wife. This was not a sin either. Well, let's look at a third example of this idea. Turn with me please in your Bibles back to 2 Samuel. 2 Samuel is a third example of a husband rebuking his wife. The story here is the story of David and Michael. It is the story of the ark being brought into Jerusalem. 2 Samuel chapter six. And what we have here, and we're going to take the time to read throughout the whole chapter. You can look at it and read through it later at your convenience. But what we have here in verses 1 through 19, you have a record of the return of the ark back to the city of David. And then verses 20 through 23, the rebuke of error that took place at the end of the story. So in verses 1 through 11, you have the ark, this attempt to bring it back to Jerusalem, but they did it the wrong way. They put the Ark of the Covenant on a cart rather than as God had commanded you to carry the Ark of the Covenant with poles. And it is to be carried exacting, as God said. And they didn't do that. They put it on a cart instead. And then you have the cart slipping and Uzzah touching the Ark of the Covenant. Again, this was a grievous sin and God struck Uzzah dead immediately on the spot. Congregation, that tells us something about how God is concerned about His people obeying Him as He has commanded. Amen? We are not left to just kind of do whatever we want and say, well, it's just a little thing. It's just a small sin. And you think about Uzzah. He was doing what we all would probably think in our minds, not knowing what the law said. He was doing a good thing. He was keeping the ark from falling off the cart. But he touched the ark, and that was not what God had commanded, and God struck him dead. Again, God as revealed in the Bible, is so very often than the God that we've created by our own imagination. God will not be toyed with, and God commands that we obey what he says. Now, beginning in verse 12, we have the ark in a second attempt brought back to the city of David, this time the right way. It says in verse 12, all that belongs to him because of the ark of God. So David went and brought up the ark of God from the house of Obed-Edom to the city of David with gladness. And so it was when those bearing the ark of the Lord had gone six paces that he sacrificed oxen and fattened sheep. Then David danced before the Lord with all his might and David was wearing a linen ephod. So David and all the house of Israel brought up the ark of the Lord with shouting and with the sound of the trumpet. Now as the ark of the Lord came into the city of David, Michael, Saul's daughter, this would be David's wife. looked through the window and saw King David leaping and whirling before the Lord, and she despised him in her heart. Here she saw her husband, King David, and she thought, well, he's acting so undignified. He's not acting in a way becoming of the king. Here he is dancing and whirling around with joy and delight. And that's not appropriate for a king to do. You must act with a kind of respect, becoming the office of king. And so she despised him, verse 16. So we read in verse 17, the ark was brought in, and we read about the offerings that were given. We read about, verse 18, the burnt offerings, the peace offerings, and the people were blessed. And he distributed among all the people a loaf of bread, a piece of meat, a cake of raisins. So all the people departed and everyone to his house. They pick up the reading again in verse 20. It says, then David returned to bless his household and Michael, that is his wife, The daughter of Saul came out to meet David and said, How glorious was the king of Israel today, uncovering himself today in the eyes of the maids of his servants, as one of the base fellows shamelessly uncovers himself. You can hear the sarcasm in this. She despised everything that he did. And so she, with this horrible, extreme sarcasm, was saying, what a glorious sight we all encountered today. This was incredible. And then notice in verse 21, David rebuked his wife. It says, so David said to Michael, it was before the Lord. who chose me instead of your father and all of his house to appoint me ruler over the people of Israel, of the Lord over Israel. Therefore, I will play music before the Lord." And then notice in verse 22, it's even more striking. He says, and I will be even more undignified than this. I will be humble in my own sight, but as for the maidservants of whom you have spoken by them, I will be held in honor." And then in verse 23, there's this little editorial statement. Therefore, Michael, the daughter of Saul, had no children to the day of her death. You recognize that being childless, this was a horrible, horrible reality. To not have a child would be a stigma. It would be a curse upon someone's life. Here, David rebukes her and he says, I'm going to keep on doing. I've been called of God and I'm going to continue to have joy for God. And you think that what I have done, verse 22, is undignified? You haven't seen the half of it yet. I'm going to be even more so. And I will, in all of that, be humble before the Lord. David could not allow this wicked sentiment to remain in the heart of his wife. And so what does he do? He rebukes her. He deals with her. His delight was true. It was sincere. It was joyful. And he rebuked his wife. So we see here these three examples of husbands reproving their wives. Now, all of this, of course, assumes that the husband is the head of the household, and that he has this responsibility, and that everything is in proper order. Well, what are the values of reproof? Turn with me, please, in your Bibles over to Proverbs chapter 6. Proverbs chapter 6. Proverbs chapter 6 and verse 23. We'll just look at two or three verses here. These are general statements about reproof, but certainly they would therefore apply as it relates to husbands and wives. Proverbs 6 and verse 23, for the commandment is a lamp and the law a light. Reproofs of instruction are the way of life. This is God's estimation of the activity of reproving and rebuking sin. Charles Bridges says of this, the discipline of our wayward will is to us as a way of life. Husbands, do you want to promote the way of life with your wife? Is that a concern for you that she be in the way of life? Well, correcting, reproving, rebuking is indeed, as the Word of God says, it is the way of life. Look with me, please, still in Proverbs. Turn over to chapter 15. Proverbs 15 verses 31 to 32, it says here, talking about what the result is, the ear that hears the rebuke of life will abide among the wise. He who disdains instruction despises his own soul, but he who heeds rebuke gets understanding. Here, the emphasis in these verses is the idea of the proper reception of that rebuke. Wives, it is your responsibility when your husband is correcting, reproving, and rebuking you to not get all puffed up and angry and mad. Well, who are you to correct me? Well, you do bad things too. Well, why are you saying that? No. Your spirit is to rather be, I want to hear this rebuke because I know it is the way of life. And in them, verse 31, will come wisdom and will come, verse 32, rebuke It gives understanding to those who heed those rebukes. On the other hand, those who disdain them, those who balk at them, those who rebel against them, well, it's despising your own soul. Look with me, please, still in Proverbs. Look over in chapter 25, verse 12. Again, the value of reproof. Proverbs 25 and verse 12, like an earring of gold and an ornament of fine gold is a wise rebuker to an obedient hearer. You say, what is the value of rebuking? Well, if heeded, it is of such great value, it's like fine jewelry made of gold, earrings. made of gold, ornaments of fine gold. This, of course, assumes that rebuking will take place, and the only issue is, will there be the proper reception to that correction and rebuke? Will it be an obedient ear when the correction comes? So we see here examples of reproof and rebuke. We've seen the value of reproofs and correction. Thirdly, and just briefly for the sake of time, the manner of reproofs. And I want you to turn back with me, please, to the book of Ephesians, Ephesians chapter 4. Ephesians chapter 4. And I want to read in Ephesians 4 verse 15. Here we want to consider how is it that husbands are to reprove and correct their wives. Our wives will sin and they will need correction and that is our duty. But the question is, how do we do that? What is the manner of that correction? Ephesians 4 and verse 15, Paul writes, but speaking the truth in love may grow up in all things into him who is the head, Christ, from whom the whole body joined and knit together by what every joint supplies according to the effective working by which every part does its share. causes growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love. Notice here the idea of love. We are to speak, verse 15, the truth, and that is our duty, we are to speak the truth, but we are to speak the truth in love. That is absolutely critical. Husbands, if you cannot correct and reprove and rebuke without a heavy dose of love mixed into every bit of it, then it's better off you not say a thing. You need to reprove and rebruke and correct with love for her best and with a desire for her betterment. Again, Dr. Joel Beeky, talking about this, gives various guidelines in that book, Living in a Godly Marriage. He says five things about guidelines for rebuking our wives. Number one, do not reprove where there is no fault. So the first thing is, you better be sure that what is being done or said, an attitude, an action, is actually wrong and needs to be corrected. Number two, do not reprove for what she has already reformed. It may be something that she had been doing, but she's now ceased doing it. Well, then you don't need to correct something if she's already stopped doing it. Number three, Dr. Beeke says, measure your reproofs by the purpose of them, and that is their good. Always keep before you in your correcting and reproving of your wife that you're doing this for her betterment. You're doing this for her good. The goal is that she grows and she is more godly as a result. Number four, Dr. Beeky says that husbands are to reprove wisely and carefully. He uses this phrase, our reproof should be in a fit time and a fit place. It's not always the place and not always the time to reprove. And so you need to have wisdom as to what is the right time and what is the right place. And then finally, Dr. Beek, he says, we are to reprove with mildness, with mildness. It ought to govern, he says, all of our directing. Really, it's that idea of speaking the truth in love that will generate a mildness. Now, some of us are looking at me and saying, well, Pastor, are you saying that as husbands, we're to be going around with a kind of fault-finding, critical spirit, always finding the least little thing that we don't like and then confronting our wives? If you're thinking that, what I'm saying is the opposite of that. I am not saying that we should be always constantly reproving, rebuking, and correcting our wives. That would not be wisdom and care in reproving. That would be the opposite of that. I am not calling for husbands to correct their wives whenever they burn the toast in the morning or whenever the meal is not ready at a certain time. That's ludicrous. And yet there will be those who will try to take these solid biblical teachings and then try to contort them in some kind of ridiculous way. That's not what we're saying here. That would be a misunderstanding. But if there is sin that needs to be addressed, maybe it's gossiping. Maybe it's being a busybody. Maybe it's backbiting. Maybe it's a spirit of quarreling when we give directives. Maybe it's resisting your headship in the home. That needs to be addressed. You can't just sweep that aside and say, well, we're just not going to deal with things like that, because after all, you know what always happens. If I say anything, there's an explosion, and it's just better to not even bring it up. Husbands, some of you know what I'm talking about. You need to have the courage you need to have, the faithfulness you need to have, the love as the head of your household, to love your wife so much that you will not allow it to just go unset, but that you will deal with an issue that needs to be addressed. Because sin is something you do not want to see in your wife. And sinful patterns are contrary to the will of God. And so if you, using the words of Joel Beeky, if you love your wife, it's not just that you might reprove her. You must reprove her because this is an expression of your true concern, not just that there be a truce and a silence and a kind of surface-level peace, but that there will be a true harmony and a growing facilitating of godliness in the family. So, as we conclude this morning, husbands have the duty of, number one, commending their wives in well-doing. Husbands are to praise and thank and express and share with their wives how much we are grateful for them. Husbands, are you praising your wife? Are you thanking your wife? Are you telling your wife regularly how much you appreciate all that she does? Are you telling her how thankful to God you are for her, for all of the blessings that come as a result of the union that y'all enjoy by the providence of God? You need to be doing that regularly. We are to be praising regularly And hopefully, we're rebuking rarely, rarely, and when occasions come up. And husbands do have that duty of reproving their wives in their errors. And so again, husbands, are you lovingly reproving and correcting your wife? Listen to the words of William Gouge. I've quoted from him many times, the great Puritan. in his book of Domestical Duties. He brings up this issue of the duty of husbands to reprove their wives, and then he brings up the subject of neglecting to do this. that is a husband who's a coward and won't be the head and correct his wife. He says this, against this, that is the idea of reproving your wife, against this is the groveling and fearful mind of many husbands who hate to offend and, as they think, to provoke their wives. And for this reason they choose to let them continue in sin rather than tell them of it. They both dishonor their position and the image of God by which virtue of their position they carry and also in effect and in reality hate their wives. They hate their wives. This, the law implies, where it says, Leviticus 19, 17, thou shalt not hate thy brother in thine heart, thou shalt in any wise rebuke thy neighbor and not suffer sin upon him. Just as we began and we said, Joel Beeky declares to not reprove is actually to not love your wife, but to hate her. So we conclude this morning with William Gouge. To not rebuke your wife is not to love her, it's actually to hate her and not do what is best by her. Husbands, we must remember that Christ is our example. We are to assuage any kind of notions of the kind of bullying or dictatorial kinds of thinking that sometimes people immediately imagine. No, we are to be humble and gracious and gentle. We are to have a mildness and it is to all be done with love. But it must be done if we truly love our wives. Living in a godly marriage is different than living in the kind of marriages we see in our Christless culture today. They should be very, very different than the marriages we see commonly. It requires a personal relationship with God to have a godly marriage. We talk about a godly marriage, but if you remove God out of the marriage, it's not a godly marriage. And so for some of us, perhaps the first thing that you need to do before you get on a campaign of correcting is you need to fall before Jesus Christ and receive Him as your Savior and Lord. and coming to Christ and finding salvation in Christ, you will desire a godly home, a godly marriage. My friend, have you turned to Christ today? Have you bent your knee to King Jesus and accepted Him as your Savior and Lord? The call of the gospel is turn and trust in Jesus Christ. For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved." Turn to him and find salvation in Jesus Christ. Let's bow together in prayer. Our Heavenly Father, we bow before you today. And Father, as we turn before this moment, our hearts to you, seeking your grace. We pray, Lord, that you would enable us, by your grace, to be a people who follow in your ways. Help us to recognize that, indeed, there is great responsibility in being a husband and a father in our homes. that God has called us to step up and step out, and with love and grace and gentleness and mildness and fortitude, lead our homes in a godly way. Father, forgive us for the timidity and the cowardice that is so often present. Forgive us for not having a zeal that is filled with love and grace, that the truths of your word would be fleshed out as it ought. And help us, Lord, that we all would be found as those who are in right relationship with Christ, trusting in Him and having salvation, which is found only in Jesus Christ. Father, bless these truths to our hearts today. This we pray all in Christ's holy name. And for his sake, we pray. Amen. Amen. Let's all stand together now as we prepare to be dismissed. And as we do so, we're dismissed again with the words of holy scripture. The Lord bless you and keep you. The Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious unto you. The Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace. And all of God's people said, amen, amen.