Loneliness is like a cold winter fog that settles into your heart and your soul and cuts you off from the rest of the world. Musicians have an amazing ability to sometimes capture those deep emotions that we feel. And when we talk about the emotion of loneliness, and if you were raised in the time period I was raised, You might think of James Taylor's song, I Don't Want to be Lonely. Or you might think of that song by America, this is for all the lonely people. Waiting for light, they're hoping light. I'm not gonna sing it. No, I have another song I wanna sing this morning. When I went on to, you, You know the song Eleanor Rigby? Beatles song. If you're of my generation, you know that song. It is by far the better of the three that I mentioned. And this is probably going to be the very first time that any of you will sit through an exegesis of a Beatles tune. Eleanor Rigby picks up the rice in the church where a wedding has been. Lives in a dream, waits at the window, wearing the face that she keeps in a jar by the door. Who is it for? All the lonely people, where do they all come from? Okay, now, look at Eleanor. Who is she? She's the church custodian. What's she doing? Cleaning up after a wedding. And what does she have on? Her face. Where is this face? It's a face that she keeps in the jar by the door. What's that all about? Here is this woman who wants to be married, but who's not. And so she keeps This face in a jar by the door, that's the face everybody sees. That's the face that she puts on. That's the face that says, I'm okay, everything's fine. No, I really like life the way it is. When the truth of the matter is, she is enveloped in this fog of loneliness. Father McKenzie. writing the words of the sermon that no one will hear. No one comes near. Look at him working, darning his socks in the night when there's nobody there. What does he care? Who is this guy? He's a priest. He's in a church preaching sermons that people don't hear. Oh, there's people there. But they don't hear his heart. They don't hear his soul. And here is this man, written in the 60s, this song, where women, wives, typically were the ones darning socks. And he is darning his own socks. What's that say? Well, we already know he's a priest. He has taken a vow of celibacy. He's not married. And he's all alone. And so here we have these two people in this church building, Eleanor and Father McKenzie, both very close and yet both very far away. Very lonely people. Ah, look at all the lonely people. No, I'm really not trying out for American Idol. Some of you were probably thinking, yeah, you probably should be in the finalist list. Listen to Chuck Swindoll. He says, loneliness plays of no favorites, ignores all rules of courtesy, knows neither border nor barrier, yields no mercy, refuses all bargains, and holds the clock in utter contempt. It cannot be bribed. It will not be left behind. Tears fall from our eyes as groans fall from our lips. But loneliness, that uninvited guest of the soul, arrives at dusk and stays for dinner. We all know the feeling of loneliness. It's not unique. It's something that we have all experienced at different times to different degrees. It's something that all of us have experienced. And we look through the pages of scripture and we find this is common for all people. David said, Psalm 22, Psalm 25, turn to me and be gracious to me, Lord, for I am lonely and afflicted. Psalm 142, look to the right and see, for there is no one who regards me. There is no escape for me. No one cares for my soul. In the New Testament, 2 Timothy chapter 4, Paul signs off with these words. This is his last letter. This is the very last portion of his life. This is the last chapter that he's written. And he says to Timothy, make every effort to come to me soon, for Demas, having loved this present world, has deserted me and gone to Thessalonica. Crescens has gone to Galatia. Titus to Dalmatia. Only Luke is with me. Verse 14, Alexander the Coopersmith did me much harm. Verse 16, at my first defense, No one supported me, but all deserted me. There's a man who understands loneliness. For Job, for Elijah, loneliness was a poison to their soul. Job says, I waste away, I will not live forever. Leave me alone, for my days are but a breath. Elijah says, it is enough now, O Lord. my life." Jesus knew the problem of loneliness intimately. If you turn over to Matthew chapter 26, we were here last week. Matthew chapter 26, look at verse 36, then Jesus came with them that is the disciples to a place called Gethsemane. And he said to his disciples, sit here while I go over there and pray. And he took with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee and began to be grieved and distressed. Remember when we got to that verse last week, I told you that there were three words in the New Testament for depression. And here Matthew uses the most intense of all those words to describe what Jesus was going through. He was going through the most deepest, darkest depression humanity has ever faced. Verse 38, then he said to them, my soul is deeply grieved to the point of death. Remain here and keep watch with me. And he went a little further beyond them and fell on his face and prayed saying, my father, If it is possible, let this cup pass from me, yet not as I will, but as you will. And he came to the disciples and found them sleeping. And he said to Peter, so you men could not watch with me for one hour. Keep watching and praying that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. And he went again a second time and prayed, saying, My father, if this cannot pass away unless I drink it, your will be done. Verse 43, again he came and found them sleeping, for their eyes were heavy. And he left them again. And he went away and prayed a third time, saying the same thing once more. Then he came to the disciples and said to them, Are you still sleeping and resting? And it was at that very hour that the religious police came and arrested Jesus. His disciples didn't watch with him, didn't stay awake to pray him through that difficult and depressing time. Jesus wasn't afraid of death. That's not why he was depressed. That's not why he felt lonely. It was because he understood he would be experiencing the very rejection of the Father because the sin of the world would be placed upon his back. That was the source of his loneliness. And then, if that weren't enough, when the temple guards came to arrest Jesus, his disciples scattered. like cockroaches when you turn on the light, and they were gone. And in the time that he needed them most, they were not there. My friends, Jesus understands loneliness to a deeper degree than you have ever experienced it. Let me make a few clarifications. Loneliness is different from depression. Oh, the two can certainly feed each other, but they're different. Loneliness is also different from being alone. John Milton was a 17th century English writer, poet. He was the middle child, so my wife tells me that they're the ones that turn out the best. John Milton was arguably one of the greatest of all English writers, maybe second only to Shakespeare. He wrote that great epic, Paradise Lost. Milton wrote these words. He said, Loneliness is the first thing which God's eye named not good. Loneliness is the first thing that God's eye named not good. Now there's a lot of truth in his statement and that quotation is provocative, but I beg to differ with him. If you go back to Genesis chapter one, I'm sorry, chapter two, we find this in verse 18. It is not good for the man to be alone. God doesn't say that it's not good for man to be lonely, though I would affirm that it is not good for man to be lonely. What he said was, it's not good for man to be alone. I don't think God is talking about an emotional response at this point in the biblical narrative. I think what he's talking about is we are created to be relational people. God created us specifically and intentionally to be in relationship with other people. He didn't create us to be an island unto ourselves. to be isolated, alone, disconnected. But that's not to say that loneliness is, to be lonely is to always be alone. They are two different things. Jesus, for example, wanted to be alone. Let me read to you a couple of verses of scripture. I have these printed in your notes so you don't have to track with me, just listen. Matthew 14, now when Jesus heard about John the Baptist's beheading, he withdrew from there in a boat to a secluded place by himself. Matthew 14, 23, after he had sent the crowd away, he went up on a mountain by himself to pray. And when it was evening, he was there alone. Mark 1, in the early morning while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house, and went away to a secluded place and was praying there. Luke 4, when day came, Jesus left and went to a secluded place. Luke 5, Jesus himself would often slip away to the wilderness and pray. John 6, Jesus withdrew again to the mountain by himself, alone. Jesus frequently went alone. That doesn't mean that he was lonely at those times. The biblical narrative simply records to us that's when he got to be with the Father. So being alone could be a very good thing when it draws us into our relationship with the Heavenly Father. But God did not intend that we stay in that state. He intended us to be in relationships with one another. Now, there are a number of reasons why our circumstances cause us to feel lonely. I'm on the second page of your notes. Sometimes it's a result of physical disease. One of the dreaded diseases that we read about in the Old Testament is the disease of leprosy. Leprosy has a very narrow and specific definition in our day and age. In their day and age, it had to do with any kind of skin disorder. And this was the consequence. Leviticus chapter 13, verse 46 says, the leper shall live alone. His dwelling shall be outside the camp. So if you had some kind of skin disease, you were removed. You lived alone. You no longer had those relationships surrounding you. And frequently these people would feel deep loneliness. Sometimes there are all kinds of external circumstances that can fuel our feelings of loneliness. 1 Timothy chapter 5, Paul talks about widows being alone, feeling lonely. It doesn't have to be a widow. It could be a widower. It could be a son. It could be a daughter. It could be a parent that has lost a child. Any kind of loss by death can fuel those feelings of loneliness. In 1 Samuel, chapter one, we read about a couple, Hannah and Elkanah, who were childless. And Hannah grieved deeply in her soul because she didn't have a child, and she longed to be a mom. On one occasion, Elkanah, her husband, said to her, verse eight, Why do you weep and why do you not eat? And why is your heart sad? Am I not better to you than ten sons? Ding dong husband, he didn't get it. No, it's not that at all. She simply had a yearning, a longing, an emptiness in her soul. And there was a loneliness. because of her circumstances. In Psalm 27, David writes, my father and my mother have forsaken me, but the Lord will take me up. Sometimes it's a direct result of family breakup. The children, in particular, feel lonely. Sometimes it has nothing to do with some of these relationships. It's a result of something else. For example, when the gospel redeems a person, that person can be ostracized, shunned, pushed away, disregarded, disinherited. And the gospel itself can be a cause of feelings of loneliness. There are a myriad of reasons why we experience these kinds of emotional responses. But we don't have to succumb to the darkness and the oppressive feelings that can be there, because I want you to look at another side of loneliness. It can be a friend to you. Let me flesh out a little bit three ways that loneliness can be a blessing. There are benefits to this cold winter fog in your soul. First, it affirms what is God's best. God created marriage and He created families for a specific reason. He created them for these relationships. He said it was not good for man to be alone by himself. He's created us for relationships. And so God created marriage and He created families. And those feelings of loneliness, Mark, they affirm what God has created for our good and for what is best. Now that doesn't say that every person has to be married. What it says is God intended that it be from the family that we chiefly get that support and that encouragement and that affirmation that we need. It also affirms that God created us to have friendships with others. You look at the relationship that David had with Jonathan, and we realize that God created us to have peer-to-peer relationships with others. And we look at the kind of relationship that Paul had with Timothy, or he had with Titus, and we realize, well, God created us with intergenerational friendships as well. When we are lonely, We need to affirm what is God's best. Those relationships He created for our good. Secondly, He created a thirst for us, or in us, for Himself. And loneliness reminds us of that truth. A. W. Tozier wrote, most of the world's great souls have been lonely. They're not great because they're lonely, but they become great because they were lonely. Because it is that loneliness that drives us to the Lord, recognizing that he is the one who satisfies our deepest needs. So when that spouse is no longer there, when our best friend has moved away, the Lord becomes our best friend. Listen to the repeated testimony of scripture. Deuteronomy chapter 31 says, be strong and courageous Do not be afraid or tremble at them for the Lord your God is the one who goes with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. Psalm 23, even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for you are with me. Sean referenced Psalm 46.1 earlier this morning, he said, the verse says, God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. If you happen to have, I didn't check the other translations, NAS has a footnote for the last phrase of that verse that I think is helpful. Let me read it again. The verse says, God is, our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble." The footnote reads this. This is another way to translate it. God is abundantly available for help in tight places. Abundantly available. David writes in Psalm 139, if I ascend to heaven, you're there. If I make my bed in Sheol, behold, you're there. If I take the wings of the dawn, if I dwell in the remotest parts of the sea, even there your hand will lead me and your right hand will lay hold of me. I can't get away from you, God. You will always be there. Jesus himself said, John 14, I will never leave you as orphans. I will come to you. And the promise of Scripture is that for every person who puts their faith and their trust, their hope, their confidence in the Lord Jesus Christ alone, that person will have the Holy Spirit indwelling them for all of eternity. And the Holy Spirit will never leave. So it doesn't matter what the circumstances are, though I feel lonely, I'm never alone. Third benefit from being lonely is that it builds in us a greater empathy for other people. Paul said to the church in Corinth that the God of all comfort has strengthened them. And in 2 Corinthians 1.4 we read, the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our afflictions, comforts us so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. In other words, as God comforts us in our loneliness, he does so so that we be the ones who strengthen, lift up, affirm, encourage, support those who are similarly feeling lonely. Let me speak to two things that I trust, I hope, I pray will be of aid to you when you feel lonely. I offer some help. The first is this, remember those who loves you. Or I put it in your notes, remember who loves you. Jeremiah is sometimes called the weeping prophet because of the burden on his soul, the sensitivity and the unique ability that he had to empathize with those that are struggling with sin. He wears that label. He writes this in Lamentations, chapter three. I'm going to read this out of the New International Version. Yet this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope, Jeremiah writes. Because of the Lord's great love, we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning. Great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, the Lord is my portion. Therefore, I will wait for him. Jeremiah reminds himself of who loves him in the midst of a lamentable life. Scared little boy was once comforted by his father. Don't worry, son. God loves you, God cares for you. To which he responded, I know that daddy, but I just need someone with skin on it right now. We all need someone with skin on sometimes. By God's providence, I turned on the radio this week and listened for two minutes while the radio talk show host was on the line with a pre-adolescent boy who was lonely for his father who had deserted him. And the radio talk show host wisely asked this young man, who around you loves you? Well, there was his mom and there was his new stepdad. and there were siblings. Yes, there are going to be those circumstances where by loss, maybe by somebody else's choice, I won't have that close relationship. Maybe because they move away. And internet, as wonderful as it is, is not the next best thing to be in there. Remember those around you. Remember those who love you. Second thing I might encourage you is to reach out to someone who needs love. When you are lonely, oftentimes the best medicine is to reach out to someone else who is in need. I'd like to read to you a poem, I'm not gonna sing it, by Shel Silverstein. He writes children's poetry, and sometimes I think his children's poetry is best aimed at adults. He writes this. Nobody loves me. Nobody cares. Nobody picks me peaches and pears. Nobody offers me candy. and cokes. Nobody listens and laughs at my jokes. Nobody helps me when I get in a fight. Nobody does all my homework at night. Nobody misses me. Nobody cries. Nobody thinks I'm a wonderful guy. So if you ask me who's my best friend, in a whiz, I'll stand up and tell you nobody is. But yesterday night, I got quite a scare. I woke up, and nobody just wasn't there. I called out, and I reached out for nobody's hand. In the darkness, where nobody usually stands, then I poked through the house in each cranny and nook, but I found somebody each place that I looked. I searched till I'm tired, and now with the dawn, there's no doubt about it. Nobody's gone. And the answer to his loneliness was found in searching out in every cranny and nook somebody else's hand. Sometimes the best help for our feelings of loneliness come from reaching out to other people. In the year 1718, John Wesley and Jonathan Edwards turned 14. Benjamin Franklin turned 12. George Whitefield turned three. and David Brainerd was born. This Connecticut young boy was a sickly child. His father and mother both died while he was in his early teens. His father fought serious bouts of depression and It appeared as though that genetic predisposition to depression was passed on to his son, David. David was converted, called into the ministry by God, and through a series of unexpected mishaps and misunderstandings, rather than being a preacher in a church as a pastor, which is what he expected, anticipated, prepared for. He found himself as a missionary to Indians in New England. He was a man who was riddled with illness, fighting depression and loneliness all of his life. In 1743, he wrote in his diary, oh, I longed that some dear Christian knew my distress. A month later, he wrote, most of the talk I hear is either Highland Scotch or Indian. I have no fellow Christian to whom I might unbosom myself and lay open my spiritual sorrows and with whom I might take sweet counsel and conversation about heavenly things and join in social prayer." The angst of his soul was, I have no one with whom to share life. In May of 1747, Jonathan Edwards, living in Northampton, Massachusetts, took a calculated risk. David Brainerd had to leave his ministry because of illness, and Jonathan Edwards welcomed him into his home. And his 17-year-old daughter, Jerusha, became David's nurse and confident. It appears as though that there was a deep love that had developed between the two of them, and she might have been that soulmate that David longed for and never had. But after only just a few short months, he died of tuberculosis at the age of 29. Knowing he was welcoming those germs into his own home and that his own daughter would be caring for this sick and ailing man, Jonathan Edwards grieved but never looked back when his own daughter died four months later of the same. It appeared as though loneliness was piled on top of each other. But there is more that has taken place as a result of David Brainer's life and testimony that Jonathan Edwards painfully penned. There is more that has taken place as a result of his diary in fueling missions than maybe many other books. Pastor John Piper of Minnesota writes this of David Brainerd. Brainerd's life is a vivid, powerful testimony to the truth that God can and does use sick, discouraged, beat down, lonely, struggling saints who cry to him day and night to accomplish amazing things for his glory. My friends, there is no doubt that sadness and discouragement and depression and loneliness will at times plague us. But we must remember at those times who loves us. And we must remember at those times, we must let other people into our life to allow God to accomplish through them what he intends. Though we may feel lonely, we're never alone. Father, the testimony of many of your saints is before us. And we know that they struggle with life just like we struggle with life. There are ample reasons for heartache and disappointment and discouragement and loneliness. But Lord, you are our hope. You are our refuge. You are our present help. You are our solace. You are our joy and our delight. You are the one who lifts our head. And we give great thanks for that privilege of knowing you through the Lord Jesus. I pray, Father, that you would strengthen us in these weak times. I pray that you would blow away the fog when it inundates our soul. I pray that you would place us on firm footing when we can't even see where to take the next step. We bow our hearts and our lives before you for we know there is hope and salvation in no one else. And it's in your name we pray this. Amen.