to turn back to the portion we've read, and we've read in the letter to the Philippians chapter 3, and we're going to centre our attention as the Lord enables us, verses 12 to 14. Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect, but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus. Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended, but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark. For the prize of the high calling of God, in Christ Jesus. Three things here that the Apostle Paul tells us about himself, and we trust that the meditation upon them will be helpful to us as we look to marks of those who belong to the Lord's house, and who are invited to his table. And may the Lord help us as we consider these three distinguishing features that he brings before us. And they are as follows. He tells us that he has been apprehended of Christ Jesus. Verse 12. that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus." He's referring to his conversion there. He's referring to his conversion as an arrest. So Christ has put his hand upon him, arrested him and said, you are mine. Secondly, and we must remember here that this is Paul writing some 30 years after his conversion, and many would say, surely you've made a lot of progress in these years of following the Lord. Well, listen to what he says. Verse 12 again, not as though I had already attained, neither were already perfect. And again, in verse 13, brethren, I could not myself to have apprehended a disclaimer to all personal perfection. And thirdly, an aspiration after perfection, nevertheless, But this one thing I do, notice this one thing, this determination to go in this course, this one thing I do, For getting those things that are behind and reaching forth to those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. Three things then that we want to consider here this night. False apprehension of Christ Jesus, referring to his conversion. And then secondly, the disclaimer to all personal perfection, And then thirdly, the aspiration nevertheless towards perfection, and in that order. First then, Paul's apprehension of Christ Jesus. You all know the narrative. First to that amazing conversion that took place on the Damascus road. It was a dramatic conversion. Not all conversions are as dramatic. Lydia, for example, was told whose heart the Lord opened, and she believed, but all Conversions are miracles of grace. As we have been considering already today, we were dead in trespasses and sins. And we had brought before us, even in a literal sense, in a secular sense, in a worldly sense, the corrupt nature of death, even at unnatural depth. And it is true of us all after spiritual life, as we come into this world. Sin is a deceitful thing. It hides itself from us. It's not just something that is found in our actions, it is. It's not just something that's found in our words, it is, particularly in gossip. It's not just something that's found in our thoughts, it is, because they are very wandering. But it is particularly something that is found in the motives and intents of our heart. It's there that the perverseness of our fallen nature has taken up residence. And it's because it is there and these motives activate thoughts, words, and actions. It's there that sin rests. And as I say, it hides itself from us. who tend to look on the outwards and forget that God looks on the heart. God is saying, my son, my daughter, give me your heart. It's in the heart we have fallen, and it's in the heart that we must be returned. And none can return us but God himself by his grace. And that's what happened to Saul of Tarsus. He thought, I will refer to this already today, he thought he was earning favor with God by his works. He was very zealous, he was very religious, but it was all by his own doing. that he was making his way to heaven. He was opposed to all of the teaching of the Lord Jesus Christ and salvation by grace alone, through faith alone. He thought Christ was a bogus Messiah. He was opposed with all his might and men to the cause of Christ and the person of Christ. He thought that that was a way of earning favor with God. The Lord was, yes, there was a preparatory work there. It was the conviction that came with the word in the hand of the Spirit speaking strongly to him, thou shalt not covet. Covetousness is idolatry, and oh how it broaches on all the commandments. And there was the conviction that came no doubt also in the martyrdom of Stephen, as he saw him being stoned to death and praying Christlike for those who were persecuting him. But the convictions were not enough in themselves. They are necessary prelude to our salvation. But not, they do not save us. They did not die for us. They did not rise again for us. But we find with Paul, referred again to this already, when these convictions come, how he tried to drown them, going to the high priest and asking for greater work to do in the opposition of the Christian cause. And that's what he was doing on the way to Damascus. And I referred already today that that is very often what happens with sinners when they are brought under conviction of sin. They seek to drown it, like a trout caught on a hook, thrashing about, seeking to free itself, sometimes immersing themselves into greater amount of drink. sometimes into greater amount of drug addiction of different kinds, sometimes even into greater amount of church-going as a way and work, as it were, to earn favour. But it doesn't work, and it didn't work with Paul. Christ spoke to him, it is hard for thee to kick against the bricks, the barbs of conviction. Barbs of conviction is conscience. But the arrest came about, as you know, on the Damascus boat. Conversion came about there. He was given a glimpse of the glory of the person of Christ. He knew when that light shone round about him and he fell to the ground. He knew that he was in the presence of deity. It didn't need to have it spelled out to him. He knew it. He was in the presence of God. Who art thou, Lord, he said. I am Jesus, whom thou persecutest. And he saw the man, Christ Jesus, the risen Saviour, was there before him. but deity was before him, the glory of one who is God and man. As our catechism puts it in two distinct natures, the savior that you and I need, one who has his hand on God against whom we have transgressed, and his hand on us who have transgressed, the mediator, that is there between God and man. And he saw not just the glory of his person, the glory of his work, the glory of his work, the one whom he had treated as a bogus Messiah, the one who had been crucified on Calvary's cross, whom he thought had been got out of the way completely, There he is. The Lord has raised him up. It's a proof of the acceptance of that sacrifice that he gave of himself in the place of sinners on the cross of Calvary, in the place of such a soul of Tarshish on the cross of Calvary. Glory of him as the saviour. God was in Christ reconciling the world unto himself, not imputing their trespasses on him. And he was unable, he was unable to lean the weight of his never-dying soul's security on the passion and the finished work of Christ. He exercised faith on the Lord Jesus Christ as a savior, a hell-deserving savior on the way to eternity. and arrest you are mine, my servant, my slave, not to treat you pleasantly, but to set you free. I am come that you might have life and that you might have it more abundantly. And for us here tonight, well, we see conversion which haven't yet occurred. met with the Lord Jesus Christ saving me. But we wouldn't all have the same dramatic conversion as Saul of Tarshish, but all that we would have a glimpse of the glory of the person of Christ, all that we would have a glimpse of the glory of the finished work of Christ on the cross, in the room of such as I am, that by the enabling of the spirit, I would lean my weight there, thrusting the welfare of my never dying soul into his hand. The rest, an apprehension. Secondly, Paul makes this disclaimer, to personal perfection. Thirty years, I mentioned. Error thereby, he's now following the Lord since that great incident on the Damascus Road. You know, we meet Christians and we know that they've been following for many years and you might say to them, oh, you've surely made some progress. You made great progress in that time. When we hear Paul's answer, this disclaimer to personal perfection, and there's his own words, not just though I had already attained, either were already perfect. When we close in with Christ, when we are found or through union with Christ, the dominion of sin is broken in the life of the believer. Sin is no longer the master of that person. There has been a cessation of the dominion of sin in his life. but there has not been the cessation of the influence or the presence of indwelling sin in his life. Indeed, it is questionable if that indwelling sin has lost a fingernail of its strength. And if it doesn't, even until now with Paul and beyond, even to the moment of the The shadow of death itself doesn't lose a fingernail of its energy. And you might ask, we can digress, how is sanctification to take place then? Well, not by the diminishing of that energy. but in a warfare against it. You see, we are indwelt not just by indwelling sin, the old natures, but there is this new nature that is now with the believer, indwelt by the Spirit of God. There is a warfare that goes on, the flesh, the indwelling sin against the spirit of the Lord and the spirit against the flesh. It's a warfare in which we must learn to be continually leaning the weight of our soul security more heavily, more heavily as we go on upon the passion and the finished work of the Lord Jesus Christ. We must be as the church of old coming up out of the wilderness, leaning on the beloved. But there's a warfare there. from warfare there, flesh against spirit, and spirit against flesh while we are in this world. There are corruptions of indwelling sin that are brought to our attention by the Spirit of God Himself in different providences. And He is gracious with us. He shows us not all of it at the same time. because none of us could stand that. But he shows us little by little of that corruption that still is found with us, this indwelling sin. And there's this warp here that I keep referring to. It's as we come in dependence upon the Spirit and draw out by faith, draw out of the resources that are held by Christ's interest for sinners such as I am, it's there that we make progress. In our weakness, leaning upon Him, and it's in our weakness that we are made strong. again and again. But although Paul does not claim any personal perfection, very conscious of his own nothingness and emptiness of himself and sin in himself, Wretched man that I am, he says somewhere. Though the answer is always in Christ, the resources of grace that are there, I thank God in Christ Jesus. And it's there that we must come again and again and again to know him more deeply, to lean on him more heavily, to be made conformed to his image more fully. But moving on, He, although he doesn't claim any perfection, he doesn't rule out that there has been, he doesn't rule out total progress in a Christian life. The scale of values he has since his conversion is different. And to that extent, there is a measure of progress. It's not what he was. It's that different scale of values. Once upon a time, his boast was in his ancestry. Once upon a time, his boast was in his orthodoxy. Once upon a time, his boast was in his religious activity. Once upon a time, his boast was in his own morality. You see it in verses five forward. circumcised the eighth day of the stock of Israel of the tribe of Benjamin and of the Hebrews as touching the law of Pharisee. His pedigree was his boast. His zeal in religion, works religion, he was very boastful of that. Boastful of his persecuting of the church, he thought he was earning favour with God. and his keeping of the law as he understood it. He was blameless. Ah, but all that is gone. Different scale of values altogether. He's found the pearl of great price. And in contrast with the pearl of great price that is Christ Jesus, all of these things futile. not only futile, but he sees them as disgusting things to cast away, as dung is the word that he uses. A different scale of values, and to that extent there has been some progress, but he disclaims all claim to perfection. And then thirdly, his new aspiration, I press on toward the mark of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. I haven't attained to perfection, but I am striving towards it. And that must be true of all Christians. As debtors to the grace of God in Christ, not by any works of their own, but as an expression of thankfulness. to what he has done in my Roman place. He says that he has not yet attained, let me get the words, in verse 12, at the end of verse 12, that I may apprehend, that I may grasp, that I may apprehend that for which I am apprehended, that I may grasp that for which Christ has grasped me, that I may apprehend that for which Christ has arrested me. That's the school known, that I must attain to the very purpose for which Christ brought about a conversion in my life. Now, if we were to ask within this building, why did the Lord bring about conversion in your life? What would your answer be? Would it be so that I wouldn't go to hell? Well, that would be a right answer, but it wouldn't be the complete answer. Would it be so that he would take away my guilt and my condemnation under the holy law? Again, that would be a right answer, but it would not be a complete answer. No, the big answer here is that we might be brought into a relationship with Christ himself. That is really what Christianity is, a relationship with Christ. Look at how he puts it. I can't put my finger on the verse just now, but he does say that I may know him. that I may know him, that I might have a more complete relationship with him, that there might be greater depths in my relationship with him. I noted a little ditty, and I was preparing this tonight, today. I took some of the words, There are ocean depths of mercy that are flowing fast and free, full and free. There is a fullness in my Savior that has never yet been told. It's to know Him more fully in the glory of His passion. to have that relationship with him that is God-glorifying, Christ-centered, self-abasing. He must increase, said John the Baptist, I must decrease. It's on that sort of relationship where we give him the place that is his by right. and that we increasingly grow in that relationship as we go on. Notice it says that I may know him and the power of his resurrection. He's still speaking of that relationship there, the power of his resurrection. Well, the believer is in union with the risen Christ. We have died in him into the condemnation of sin, condemnation of the law and the dominion of sin, but we have risen in him into newness of life. And what is this power of his resurrection? Well, surely one aspect of it is the grace that is purchased at great cost and is freely set at our disposal in Him through the truth by the Holy Spirit, particularly put before us in the promises of Scripture. My grace is sufficient for you. My strength is made perfect in weakness. and there are so many other gracious promises. And we are to come to know him more deeply in a walk of faith, proving in our own experience the faithfulness of these promises and the tender mercy that is unfolded within them. To know that personally. And then we can say, there are ocean depths of mercy that are flowing full and free. And we come to know something of the sweetness of this relationship with Christ. Not only does he say that I may know him, not only does he say that I may know the power of his resurrection, but he also speaks of that I may know fellowship of his sufferings." I think these are the words. And well, we find that quizzical maybe. No, none of us wants to go into sufferings unnecessarily. And yet it is written, is it not, in the Bible? Paul himself wrote it. To his believing people, to you it is given. That means it's a gift. To you it is given not only to believe on him, but to suffer for him as well. Suffering is and can be a gift of God to his believing people, to bring them on in this relationship. And one way that I understand that to be the case is this. that the more we enter into sufferings that are akin, never equal. His sufferings were unique, but akin to his sufferings in some measure. The more our spirit is knit with his spirit, as was the case with Saul and Jonathan. There is a kindred relationship that accrues. in these circumstances. It's not the sufferings per se that he wants, it's this what accrues from them, that I may know him, the power of his resurrection, of his grace, and the fellowship of his sufferings. A deeper knowledge, a deeper relationship with the Lord of glory. And he also speaks about this aspiration in terms of that I may win Christ. That I may win Christ. He's already in Christ if he's a believer. That I may gain Christ is another way of translating it. And this is a gain of perception. That he would perceive Christ as the greatest wealth that he could possibly have, in contrast with all the futile things in which he put his boast once upon a time. Christ, he perceives him now as his all in all. And he can say with the psalmist, whom have I in the heavens high, but thee, O Lord, alone, and in the earth, whom I desire, besides thee, there is none. That's the aspiration. And in this aspiration, after a fuller relationship with Christ, you notice he says, forgetting those things that are behind. Well, he's not surely saying that we should give up our memories. He's not saying that we should cease to employ our memories. After all, the Bible itself says, remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy. memory is a gift from God to be used. So what is meant here for getting those things that are behind? It must be, and I've put it to you, leave it with you, it must be something of this ilk that we should not look on past failures, and oh, how many there are of them. I have not yet attained. There have been many failures. There have been backslidings. I have not always been going forward as I should. Forgetting those things that are behind, in the sense, let not these failures terrorize you. There is a throne of grace to come to you in repentance, so seek repentance and seek grace that you might be enabled in whatever way the enemy has got hold of you in the past, whatever weak spot he has found in your armour, that by grace you would be enabled to bolster up that weak spot and go on walking in a way that would be honouring to him, forgetting those things that are behind in that sense. Forgetting them also may be that we should treat them also to keep ourselves right, to keep us mindful of how we need grace, or how we need prayer. all how we need to come to the throne of grace to be kept, moment by moment and day by day. I am so easily caught. I have the evidence of it there in these past failures. These failures bring me to the throne of grace to seek to be kept as I go on. Forgetting those things that are behind in that sense, and looking to the things that are before. Pressing toward the mark. Pressing. This is a strong aspiration. I am such a debtor to grace. The Lord of glory was not ashamed to call us brethren. Should we be ashamed? Should we not be seeking to serve him? to give them the honour and the pre-eminence in all things. Not as if anything of our own was going to be sufficient. Always we will have the prayer that we had at the beginning. Hear of the public and Lord have mercy on me the sinner. But we will seek to have, seek to be kept in that way of knowledge. of him. Seek to be kept in that way of, and sense of your indebtedness to grace. Seek to be kept in that way of thankfulness. Seek to be kept in that way of prayer. Seek to be kept in that way of the prayer of the prayer of the Psalms, to hold up my goings. Lord, may guide in those that pass divine. that my footsteps may not slide out of those ways of thine." These are some of the ways, then, in which he is seeking to strive after perfection as a debtor to the grace of God. And these are things that we should consider ourselves to wish on a communion weekend, seeking to examine ourselves, I have been apprehended. Have I come to know something of the glory of his passion and the glory of his finished work in a personal way? Have I been unable to lean the weight of my soul's security there on him, to put the welfare of my never-dying soul into his hands? Even after many years, we have to accept with soul of Tarshish all not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect. Still so much of corruption, indwelling sin. And yes, the enemy outside Satan with all his agencies, seeking to waylay us as well, but he's not to be blamed altogether. There's a fifth columnist within us, that indwelling sin, so ready to collude with him. and to go along with him. Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect. But I strive after, prayerfully striving, that I may know him, that I may know the power of his resurrection, the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable to his death, forgetting those things that are behind, pressing toward the mark, for soon the places that know us will know us no more. What a glorious journey we are on if we have come to know the Lord Jesus Christ and are going on to know him more deeply as we journey, as we pilgrimage on, let us pray. Grant us a pilgrim spirit that we would live loose to the things of time and sense, that we would realize that our treasure is not in things of this world, but in things above, and particularly in Him who is the pearl of great price. through whom there is access to thee in all our providences as our Father who cares for us and make us dependent upon the Holy Spirit. See the wonder that if we are thy people that he should take up residence in the stable of our hearts. and say of it, this is my rest. Here still I'll stay, for I do like it well. But before us and to the rest of this weekend, help us to keep the appointment with thee, to know thee in thy mercy and thy grace and thy holiness as we handle the bread and the wine. and hear these words, this is my body broken for you, this too in remembrance of me. Receive us with a pardon of our every sin in holy things, in Jesus' name, amen.