titled, A More Excellent Way. A More Excellent Way. And I'm going to tell you something that for too long in my life I did things in less than an excellent way. For too many days I tried to do what I thought was best and convinced myself that what I wanted was best for others. And it wasn't always that way. And sometimes we have tried to hold people to an expectation and use that expectation being met as the criteria for the level that we will choose to demonstrate our love to them. And what we have become, in effect, is functional legalists standing opposed to all that love really is by offering performance-based acceptance to others. which is effectively the law. That's legalism that says, live up to a standard and you'll be accepted by God. And as we carry that forward to the conduct of the Pharisees, we see that they put laws on top of God's laws and made those the basis for acceptance with them in culture. And I have news for you today, and that is that all the Pharisees are not dead. Many of them are alive and well in our Bible-believing churches, and they go home, and they give love sparingly, if at all, and it is entirely dependent upon whether or not the ones that live under the roof meet the level of expectation. And so functionally, we become legalists. And a few weeks ago, and it's up on the internet now, I appreciate all the efforts of Debbie and Brother Dustin in our Sound and Media ministry. And Debbie's been putting a number of sermons up there, and I hope that you're availing yourself of those sermons. But about a month or so ago, there was a message brought to our church, freedom from disabling legalism. And there we talked about how that There are many people who would refuse to join a church that was legalistic, and yet they live as legalists outside of the church. Now, oftentimes when I do counseling and people are having difficulty in relationships, I'll listen and people will talk about their disappointment with people for not doing what they ought to do, and this and that, and they should know better than that, and anybody should know this or that. And the reality is that sometimes what we think people ought to know instinctively and intuitively, they don't know. perhaps because of their upbringing, the perspectives that they were raised with, or maybe just simple-mindedness. Whatever the case, there are times where we have expectations of folks and we feel perfectly justified in having attitudes towards people for not living up to the level of our expectation. But can I tell you this, please? And don't forget it. And that is this, that it is unjust of you and it is unfair entirely of you. To be angry or upset because someone has not met your expectations. If you have never completely and succinctly express to that individual just what your expectations are. It's unfair of you to have an expectation of someone if you've never clearly and succinctly expressed what you believe the expectation should be that they should live to. Then you can have a dialogue about it, but for people to just go off and be angry because somebody's not doing what they think they ought to do, that's not fair. And yet, functionally, that's what we do so often. We see kids running around the church and they're unruly. And instead of being loving and patient with them, sometimes we jump down their throats. And the reality is they come to church to get away from that. They can get all of that that they want at home for free. They don't need to come to church to have some angry, uptight, anal Baptist jump down their throat. Say amen when I preach that good. And honestly, what we do is we say, I'll be nice to you and I'll show you the love of Jesus as long as you don't run around and bang the piano in the fellowship hall. Right? But nobody's ever given them any training, so we're holding them to an expectation that they're not even aware of. You know what kids from homes where parents are disengaged and drug addicted do? They run around and pound pianos and run ramshackle through churches because they don't know any better. And it's not fair of us to trounce on them. It's unloving. It's not even Christ-like. Say amen when I preach that good. I'm telling you, man, we're tearing it up tonight, aren't we? But honestly, if it was your grandchild, you'd be upset if somebody said anything to them. But because they just rode in on the bus, we think that it's justified. Now, I want to say that we've been dealing with this matter of a more excellent way, which is the way of love, as opposed to the way of legalism, which operates on a fear-based system. Do this or else right and so the more excellent way is to free people because of love To do it because of love and the love chapter was not written So that God's people would have something to stitch on a pillow or hang on a plaque on the wall The love chapter was written as a rebuke to a people that were failing to live up to the words written in red in John chapter 13 and verse number 34 when Jesus said, by this shall all men know that you're my disciples that you have love one toward another. Are you with me? Now folks, you don't have to like me. The Bible commands you to love me. Amen? Now, you don't have to like the truth But if I'm telling the truth, you have a duty to live it. You understand? So, I'm laying it out there tonight. trying to help folks understand that God wants us to stop this low-level living, this self-centered, narcissistic manner of dealing with people that says, I'll show you kindness as long as you live up to the expectations that I've established in my own mind for you, which is functional legalism in our lives, and begin to operate in the arena of love which is entirely self-effacing. That means that it's not about me at all. It's not. And people sometimes will say, well, I have needs too. But when we truly love someone, it's not about my needs being met, it's about me giving of myself to meet the needs in another, expecting nothing in return and being content, if that's exactly what I get. We have talked about the fact that love is not something merely that we feel. It is not something simply that we verbalize, because in 1 John 3, the Bible says, Beloved, let us not love in word, neither in tongue, but in deed and in truth. What that is telling us is that we are not to be like those that James admonishes to care for the needs of those within the body of Jesus Christ that would simply say, be warmed and clothed. those that John would admonish us to care for in the first epistle of John. But rather what we're to do is to do something about trying to meet that need out of a sincere heart, and to love them in deed and in truth, and not to simply say, be warmed and clothed. How are they going to do it? Simply because you declare it. Or I'll pray for you to be filled, brother. That doesn't cut the mustard sometimes. Sometimes we, maybe that's all that we can give. Peter, when confronted with the man of the palsy at the gate, beautiful, said, Silver and gold have I none, but such as I have, give I thee in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth. Rise up and walk. He gave him what he truly needed, not just what he thought he needed. He gave him the life of the Lord Jesus Christ and healing and hope. The Bible says, In 1 Corinthians 13, verse 4, charity suffereth long and is kind. Charity, which is what? Love, envieth not. Charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things, love never faileth." It's never exhausted. It's never exhausted. It doesn't mean, I'm not saying that It doesn't ever get tired, but what I am saying is, you never run out of it. If it's God's love, it's inexhaustible. It's in an inexhaustible supply. Now, the Bible says, Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God, And everyone that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God, and he that loveth not knoweth not God, for God is love." Now, we love Him because He first loved us. So, look, we're not inherently loving people. In fact, we are inherently unlovable. The Bible is eminently clear about who we are outside of Jesus and just read the first 20 verses of Romans chapter 3 and you'll be overwhelmed with the reality of who we are outside of Jesus. So although we may look to many people that we have identified in culture that have what we perceive to be loving relationships, it will never even come close to the kind of love that God wants His people to experience and to express to those that they claim to love. It can never even come close. It is quite simply an impossibility because that is a love that can only come from God. And if He is not in their life, then they do not have the capacity for that degree of love or that kind of love. Agape love. They can feel like they have a soulmate. They can meet on some emotional level. But when you love someone in the Spirit, it is transcendent. It is something that the world cannot understand. That is why it is absolutely essential that families come to know and love the Savior and understand the truth of His words so that they can begin then to live out in their experience that which can only come from God, agape love, that divine love, that unconditional love. And what I mean by that is this, my friends, choosing to love someone without conditions or expectations for who they are. Listen, for who they are, not for what we want them to do, not loving them if they do, but for who they are, not loving them for what we want them to become, but for who they are. I know a lot of parents that came up in difficult home lives and they never got to experience the dream of playing sports when they were growing up because they had to work to pay the bills or maybe life was tough and they shifted from pillar to post and never got to play in a sports team and it was always their dream and so they have kids and then what they try to do is they try to live out their dream through their kids and they think I'm doing this for them and really if the kid isn't living up to what they dreamed of for themselves, they're going to let that kid have it. Can I tell you what that kid needs more than he needs a parent to try to live that parent's dream out through the life of a child? That child needs to be loved by mom and dad for who they are, not for the fact that they might be the vessel that can help our dreams to somehow vicariously come true. Yet what I have discovered is that there's a world of people out there that are offering a conditional love towards people if they will do what they want them to do. And that's not love at all. That's lust by definition because it's seeking its own. It begins and ends with my desires, my whim, and my expectations. The world of people out there that are simply choosing to love folks for what they want them to become. And they're constantly finding themselves comparing the person that they're commanded to love unconditionally to someone that they think that person should be like. Why can't you be more like this person, you know? Can you imagine that Jesus had five brothers? Can you imagine being James, the brother of Jesus, and having your mother say, why can't you be more like your brother Jesus? That'd be a hard one to follow, wouldn't it? But the truth is, look, God wants us to love those that He's placed in our life, even those that are hating us, as He has loved us. Because he said, a new commandment I give unto you that you love one another as I have loved you. As I've loved you. There's not one of us in this place that has met the level of divine expectation. Not one. No, not one. Because there is none righteous. No, not one. And the standard or the expectation of a holy God is perfect. Any of us measure up to that? Does God still love you? Yes. So, we don't meet God's standard of expectation and He chooses to love us. Now, we reserve the right to withhold loving kindness to those that don't meet our expectations. What's up with that? What's up is that we have chosen to be less than excellent in our relationships and we have elected to quash the Spirit of Christ in our hearts, to grieve and quench Him. to disallow the life of Jesus to be lived through us. Because we deserve to feel this way, we deserve to act this way, and how dare anybody do that to me or withhold that from me. And I'm entirely justified in behaving myself in other than a Christ-like manner. And yet, it is quite candidly sin. to choose to live in the natural. Because the carnal mind, the Bible says in Romans chapter 8, is enmity against God. And they that are in the flesh cannot please Him. And so when I think that I have rights, and people have trampled on my rights, and they owe me and they should never treat me this way, then we are not having the mind of Christ. That is not the Spirit-filled mind. You know what Jesus did when he came to this earth, friends? If you read in Philippians chapter 2, the one who personified love itself, who's the personification of love, okay? Everything he did was loving. When he came to this earth, here's what he did first. He left the splendor of heaven. And Philippians 2 tells us, he made himself of no reputation. And what did he become? He humbled himself and was found in fashion as a man. And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself and became a servant. Now, why is that so consequential? Because the word servant used for Jesus in Philippians chapter 2 is the Greek word doulos, which means this, slave. And in the culture and time in which Jesus lived, listen to me, a slave had no rights. None. He had no rights. He could own nothing. Possess nothing. Could not eat until given permission. And what Jesus did was, He became a servant or a slave. He gave up all of His rights. And what does the Bible say in Philippians chapter 2? In verse number five, let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus. Let this mind be in you. So while we're sitting by justifying our unkindness and our lack of love to people that we believe have trampled on our rights and are doing all these indignities towards us, we've got to remember that Jesus willingly laid aside every right that he could ever have, the right to own anything, the right to possess anything, the right to choose to do what he would, and willfully made himself a servant to provide an example to us who would come after Him, that we should follow in His steps, even as Peter said. To reveal to us the more excellent way of doing things. But what it requires of us is the death of self. The death of self-love. that says, I am justified in feeling this way. I'm justified in speaking this way. I'm justified in conducting myself this way. If you call yourself a child of God, then where is the justification biblically? and don't tell me what all we do for the Lord, because that doesn't tip the scales, that doesn't give you some special indulgence to be unloving. I know a lot of people, they think, well, you know, I'll serve the Lord down at church, I'll be involved in discipleship, or I'll sing in the choir, or I'll work in the bus ministry, or I'll help in King's Kids, and they think because they're doing something for the Lord that that gives them some special indulgence to be unkind to the people that God has commanded them to love. As if somehow the King of kings and the Lord of lords can be bought off by our good deeds. They'll somehow look the other way and think that it's okay if your rights have been trampled on for you to be unloving to someone. But I remind you that love is not something we feel. It's wonderful if the feelings are there, but it is a commitment that you make, that is followed by a choice, that is backed up by a conduct, and is something that continues all the way to the end, because as we look at the One who personified love, Jesus Himself, we read in John chapter 13, having loved His own that were in the world, the Bible says, He loved them, to the end. He loved them to the very end. And He loved them with a cross. And He calls us to love with a cross. For if any man would come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow Me. He calls us to die to self-love. and to live the love of Jesus. And I'm ashamed to say that though I have been saved since 1971, I have wasted so many years in self-absorption and self-love to my shame. And I know that God calls me to love others as He has loved me. And it's not something that I do if I feel like doing, it's something that I do because I have made a commitment to subject myself to my Savior who is my Lord and Master. Which means that I will do it when I don't feel like it, when I don't think that perhaps in the natural someone may deserve it, because that's precisely how God loves me. It's a conduct. And the Bible says, Love vaunteth not itself. It doesn't brag and think that it's