and a They got it from both directions. But I do have my wife with me. My wife, 30 years. Miss Dana, appreciate her being here. And then as he mentioned, we have three children together, Caleb, Charis, and Alethea. In a week, Caleb will be 25. Charis is 23 now. Alethea is 21. It's hard to believe that. And we didn't kill them. We didn't kill them. There's something to be said for that because there's a lot of times I wanted to. But it is good to be back with you again. I always appreciate the chance to be here. I appreciate Brother Raines being so kind as to let me bring my books and let me mention those. I love to do two things particularly. I love to preach and I love to write. I've got a faith column that appears in about 30 to 50 newspapers every week across 25 states or so. So I get a lot of hate mail and death threats, but that's pretty cool too in its own right. But I've written a lot of books as well on those tables back there. You'll find a green series of commentaries. I've written verse-by-verse commentaries on several books including Revelations, Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians and Proverbs. A lot of others back there. I've also got a series of devotionals called the Dew Drops Devotionals that takes you through Scripture, one portion of Scripture at a time, rather than just telling a story and bouncing around. It starts in one place and works you this scripture, this scripture, this scripture, and tells you what to do based on it. I've also got an adventure series for young people out there, The Night Heroes. When I was growing up, as Brother Raines said, the books that I read shaped me largely. I grew up with the Sugar Creek Gang and a lot of other good series of books. But this is an adventure series for kids. It combines history, mystery, adventure, Bible truth, character training, all the things we want and they want all at the same time. And the heroes of this book series are kids rather than adults. There are a lot of series where the adults are the heroes. This one, three kids are the heroes. So that's a fun series as well. Got some character studies back there, the life of Joseph. I brought, I think, ten of my Marriage Makers books. Marriage Makers, Marriage Breakers. Figured that would be appropriate for this kind of a setting. So that's there as well. It goes through 18 marriages in the Bible and why they succeeded or why they failed. And some of them you never really think of or never really consider. So any of those you want to see, you let us know after service and we'll be glad to talk to you about those. But get open your Bibles to Genesis chapter 30 if you would please. Genesis chapter We'll read verses 1-16 if we could please. Genesis chapter 30. Genesis chapter 30, we'll begin our reading in verse 1. And when Rachel saw that she bared Jacob no children, Rachel envied her sister and said to Jacob, give me children or else I die. And Jacob's anger was kindled against Rachel, and he said, Am I in God's stead who hath withheld from thee the fruit of the womb? And she said, Behold, my maid Bilhah go in unto her, and she shall bear upon my knees, that I may also have children by her. And she gave him Bilhah her handmaid wife, and Jacob went in unto her. And Bilhah conceived, and bared Jacob a son. And Rachel said, God hath judged me, and hath also heard my voice, and hath given me a son. Therefore called she his name Dan. And Billa, Rachel's maid, conceived again, and bare Jacob a second son. And Rachel said, with great wrestlings have I wrestled with my sister, and I have prevailed. She called his name Naphtali. When Leah saw that she left bearing, she took Zilpah, her maid, and gave her Jacob to wife. And Zilpah, Leah's maid, bared Jacob a son. And Leah said, A troop cometh. She called his name Gad. And Zilpah, Leah's maid, bared Jacob a second son. And Leah said, Happy am I, for the daughters will call me blessed. She called his name Asher. And Reuben went in the days of wheat harvest and found mandrakes in the field and brought them unto his mother, Leah. Then Rachel said to Leah, Give me, I pray thee, of thy son's mandrakes. And she said unto her, Is it a small matter that thou hast taken away my husband? Wouldst thou take away my son's mandrakes also? Rachel said, Therefore he shall lie with thee tonight for thy son's mandrakes. And Jake came out of the field in the evening, and Leah went out to meet him and said, Thou must come in unto me, for surely I have hired thee with my son's mandrakes. And he lay with her that night. Heavenly Father, bless, I pray, the reading of your word, the preaching to follow, the teaching that comes from it. Lord, I pray that you'd help us. to understand the truth and apply it to our homes and hearts today. These things I pray in Jesus' precious name, Amen and Amen. When you are reading scripture, let me encourage you, do not just see black words on a white page. These were real people in real situations and because of that sometimes it got really hysterical. If you are the uptight type, you may not like some of the things you see in Scripture. Because I'm telling you, some of it is just absolutely side-splitting. And this is one of those times. Think about it. Husband gets auctioned off for produce. OK? It's good to know what's happening here. Dude is out in the field doing his work for the day. He has no clue what is going on back home. Back home, though, there is a bargaining session going on. One of the wives, and we'll get that story in a minute, one of the wives' sons has found some mandrakes, some love apples as they're called, and he brings them home, and the other one wants some of them, and they start bargaining back and forth, and he comes in from the field that day, and she says, You've got to come and meet me tonight. You've got to stay and sleep with me tonight because I bought you with turnips." I mean that's just hilarious, right? Not exactly turnips, but he is literally, his time that night is paid for with produce. Now as with most interesting things, all of this has a back story. The back story is pretty important. So let's work our way through this and then we'll give you the application. Isaac, the son of Abraham, eventually got married to Rebekah in Genesis chapter 24. In Genesis chapter 25 she found that she was barren. Well then Isaac prays and she conceives. There is a struggle going on in the womb. They did not have technology then like we have today. They had no way of knowing and seeing what was going on. So she knows something's not right. And she goes before the Lord and she says these words, she says, If it be so, why am I thus? Roughly paraphrased that is, Oh God, I need some relief. I ain't got a clue what's going on today. You got to do something. God says, Well, here's what you got going on in there. There's not just one baby in there. There's two babies in there. There are two manners of people that are very different. They can make two nations. They're not going to get along. And she said, You telling me? They already fighting like cats and dogs in there. Well, it comes time for delivery day. The first comes out, and again, in a way that only God can describe things, it just becomes so hysterical. The first one comes out red and hairy like a garment all over. Now, can you imagine that? You there in the delivery room, and you give birth, and you say, what does my baby look like? Looks like a red, hairy garment. I don't care who you are, that's funny. Well, that's the firstborn. Well, then the second one comes out. And when the second one comes out, the second one does what a newborn baby is not supposed to be able to do. The second one reaches out, grabs big brother by the ankle. He is, in so many words, saying, you got out first. Well, as they grow, they grow to be two very different kind of people. Esau, the oldest, grows up to be a very manly, manly kind of a man. Esau's the one that has rippling biceps, whose biceps have biceps. And Esau goes out in the field with a knife in his teeth. And Esau sees some unfortunate creature and runs it down, chases it, stabs it with a knife, and throws it over his shoulder, brings it home for a lovely barbecue. That's Esau. Jacob, not so much. Jacob was much more of a mother's boy. He was much more likely to be found in the kitchen whipping up a lovely cinnamon souffle. Well, they're so very different. One of them favored by daddy, one of them favored by mama. And there comes a day when the oldest one is out in the field hunting and it's not gone so well, but the younger one, Jacob, has been back home. He's been cooking, whipping up some pottage. And the older one comes in, he smells that. He said, hey, brother, what you got cooking there? I'm starving. I got to have something. He said, I got some potage here. I'll be glad to sell you some. Oh, what will it cost me? Oh, not much. Just your birthright. One of the most precious things anybody could ever have and despise. But the Bible says that Esau is a vain and a profane person. He couldn't have cared less for his birthright because there's a spiritual component to it. So he sells his con artist brother his birthright. Well, later on down the line, there's a second thing that happens between the two of them. Daddy thinks he's getting ready to die, so he says to his older son, go out in the field, catch me something to eat, maybe some savory venison, such as my soul loveth, and I'll bless you before I die. This blessing has both prophetical and physical nature to it. He's going to say what God's going to do for him. It's going to enrich him. So Mama hears this. And when the older son is gone, she says to the younger son Jacob, she says, go and put some, you know that red hairy garment thing? You go put some hair, you put some skins on your arms so you'll feel hairy and you go in there and you tell your daddy that you're your brother and get him to bless you instead. And he says, Daddy's going to know it's me, and I'm going to get cursed and not blessed. He says, well, Paul, me be thy curse, son. Just do what I say. And the two of them conspire together. And he goes in there, got the hairs on his arm, and he says, I'm here for you to bless me, Father. And Daddy says, well, who are you? He says, I'm Esau, thy oldest son. He says, well, come here so I can smell you and feel you. He hugs him and he smells those skins of the garments off. It's like the smell of the fresh field. He blesses his youngest son, gives him a double portion of all things, gives him all his brothers to fall down before him and serve him. And no sooner has he gone, Esau shows up. He's got the real meal, and he's the real deal. He comes in and says, Daddy, I'm ready for you to bless me. He says, who are you? He says, well, I'm Esau. He said, well, then who came here before you did? And it clicks with them both apparently right at the same time. They realize Jacob has conned them both again. Now he's got not just the birthright, but also the blessing. Well, that's going to blow over really quickly, right? Well, maybe not so much. Esau says, my daddy's going to die soon. When he does, I'm going to kill my brother. Mama knows he's telling the truth. So she says, you need to run back to my home country for, her words, a few days, till thy brother's anger be abated. Well, neither of them know it's going to be more than 20 years, and that he will never see her alive again. Well, he runs from the face of his brother. He goes to his mother's home country. He gets there. He stops by a well. And there are shepherds coming out there to the well. And he says to them, why don't you go ahead and water the sheep? And they say, we can't do it yet. We've got to wait for everybody to get together. And then they, plural, will take the stone off the well. Apparently it's a really big stone. He says, we'll wait for them. And they, plural, will get that stone off the well. They'll water the sheep. And then a new shepherd shows up, a girl shepherd. Jacob sees her, and all of a sudden his heart starts beating faster than it's ever beat before in his entire life. All of a sudden he's feeling more masculine than he's ever felt in his entire life. He reaches down and grabs that rock gun so raw, flips the rock over. Then he grabs that girl, bends her over, kisses her, and says the three words every girl wants to hear, I'm your cousin. But you've got to understand, in those days, that's like a marriage proposal, man. When she runs home and tells Daddy what's happened, he says, listen, why'd you leave him out there? Bring the man home. She goes and brings him home, and he just stays and starts working. He's working for a month, and Daddy finally says, look, you can't be working for nothing. What are your wages going to be? Well, he's already thought through this. He says, I will serve these seven years for Rachel, thy younger daughter. Daddy says, Groovy, by me? Better that I give her to you than somebody else. He says, you work seven years, I'll give you my daughter. He goes out there and he slays in the field for seven solid years. I mean, he is anxious to have this girl. Seven years go by, he comes to Laban. He says, it's time for me to have my bride. Laban says, all right, we'll set everything up. He consults his Old Testament farmer's almanac, finds a night where there'll be no moon in the sky and a heavy cloud cover. Goes and procures a seven-ply industrial veil. for his older daughter Leah whom the Bible describes as tender-eyed. And while that may sound like a sweet thing, trust me it's not. Loosely paraphrased it means even the tide wouldn't take her out. She's an unattractive, unattractive woman. And he puts his heavy veil on this girl and he says, you go in and you pretend to be your sister. Now how's that for a little bit of irony. Last time a parent was doing that it was his mama and that was the daddy. Now all of a sudden another daddy doing the same thing to him. What goes around does come around. Well they have the marriage, they consummate everything. As crazy as it sounds, he wakes up in the morning, pulls that veil back, and realizes he got the wrong one. Now understand, she's happy about this thing because she ain't getting a man no other way. But he is furious. He goes to Laban and he says, why did you do this to me? You tricked me. He says, it must not be so done in our country to give the younger before the older. Fulfill her week and we'll give you the younger one too for another seven years' worth of work. You could have told me that seven years ago. And yet, he does another seven years worth of work for the one that he was wanting to start with. And then on top of that, as if life has not gotten complicated enough, there's a childbearing contest between the two. And they have two helpers along with them. Each of them has gotten a nurse, a concubine if you will. So he has like two amateur wives, two professional wives. It's a real mess. I mean, Dr. Phil would have a hard time unraveling any of this, man. It's just a disaster waiting to happen. Now this guy's got all these mouths to feed, man, because he's got these wives and they're starting to bear children. And there's this tension between Leah and Rachel. Now here's where things begin to get to the heart of the matter. Three times we're told that Jacob loved Rachel. Genesis 29.18, and Jacob loved Rachel and said, I will serve these seven years for Rachel, my younger daughter. Genesis 29.20, and Jacob served seven years for Rachel. They seemed unto him but a few days for the love he had to her. Genesis 29.30, and he went in also unto Rachel and he loved also Rachel more than Leah. served with him yet seven other years. Two times were told that compared to the love he had for Rachel, any love he had for Leah was hatred by comparison. Genesis 29-31, when the Lord saw that Leah was hated, he opened her womb, but Rachel was barren. Genesis 29-33, and she conceived again and bare a son and said, because the Lord hath heard that I was hated, he hath therefore given me this son also. And she called his name Simeon. So Jacob loved Rachel. But if you read the text of Scripture carefully, nowhere does it say that Rachel loved Jacob. Doesn't even say that she wanted Jacob to love her. What it does make clear is that she wanted what Jacob could possibly give her, that being children. But one of those women was not interested in Jacob for what he could give her. She actually loved her husband and wanted him to love her. Listen to Genesis 29, 32. And Leah conceived and bare a son. And she called his name Reuben, for she said, Surely the Lord hath looked upon my affliction. Now therefore, My husband will love me. If you knew how many times as a pastor of 27 years and a marriage counselor of equal time, I have heard the words, I just wish he loved me or I just wish she loved me. If you knew how often I heard those words, it would absolutely break your heart. I hear those words all the time from one spouse to another. wished he, she loves me." All this woman wanted was what any spouse still wants today, the love of the other spouse, and she was willing to give up anything to get it. And that brings us to our text. One day, Reuben, the son of Leah, all of four years old, was walking in the field during the wheat harvest. He found something called mandrakes. Another name for them is love apples. They were really prized by the people in those days. Here's why. They were really, really sweet. They tasted great. They had a lovely fragrance. I mean the whole house would just be filled with the smell. And they were regarded as an aphrodisiac. We brought them home to mom, to Leah, and Rachel realized it. And her mouth starts drooling and watering. She knows how these things taste. And her sniffer starts going on, because she knows how good these things smell. And she's thinking how wonderful it would be to have those in the tent. So she says, hey, I want your son's mandrake. And that starts a bargaining session. Leah says, is it a small matter? I'm taking my husband. You want my son's mandrakes also? And she says, well, I'll give it in. 30 mandrakes, sold for 30 mandrakes. And they have their bargaining session, and he gets sold for the night for those mandrakes. He comes in out of the field. He is oblivious to anything that's going on. He's getting ready to go to Rachel's tent, no doubt. Liam walks out and says, oh, no. Oh, no, no, no, no. You're coming this way. I bought you with my son's Mandrakes. Now, this is neither here nor there, but you've got some choices in life. If something does not go exactly the way that you want it to go in life, and yet it seems really interesting anyway, you can either pitch a temper tantrum, or you can go, that sounds interesting, okay. This guy, he doesn't pitch fit. He just says, hey, if that's the way it is, that's the way it is. I've been bought for mandrakes. I've been bought for mandrakes. And he goes and he sleeps with his wife Leah that night. So that's the end of the story, right? The polygamous version of a one-night stand. Not exactly. That night is verse 16. Look at what immediately follows, verse 17. And God hearkened unto Leah, and she conceived and bared Jacob the fifth son. And Leah said, God hath given me my hire, because I have given my maiden to my husband. And she called his name Issachar. And Leah conceived again, and bore Jacob the sixth son. And Leah said, God hath endued me with a good dowry. Now will my husband dwell with me, because I have borne him six sons. And she called his name Zebulun. And afterwards, she bore a daughter, and called her name Dinah. Think with me bare minimum of the time those verses represent. It took us about 30 seconds to read them. Here's the time it represents. Conception, followed by nine months, followed by the birth of Issachar, followed by 41 days of purification, followed by another episode of intimacy, maybe more, followed by conception, followed by nine months, followed by the birth of Zebulun, followed by 41 more days of purification, followed by intimacy, who knows how many times till she conceives again, followed by nine months, followed by the birth of Dinah. As it turns out, Jacob stuck around. She gave up mandrakes for a night and Jacob stuck around and kept on sticking around. and kept on sticking around, something changed the night when those love apples changed hands. But it's even more longer lasting than that. Fast forward, Genesis chapter 49, a lot of years. Jacob's about to die. He's going to have to be carried out of Egypt to be buried. He can be carried and buried anywhere he likes. Here are his instructions. Genesis 49, 29. and he charged them and said unto them, I am to be gathered unto my people, means I'm dying, bury me with my fathers in the cave that is in the field of Ephraim the Hittite, in the cave that is in the field of Machpelah, which is before Mamre in the land of Canaan, which Abraham bought with the field of Ephraim the Hittite for possession of a burying place. There they buried Abraham and Sarah his wife. There they buried Isaac and Rebekah's wife and there I buried Leah. Rachel was buried in another place due to circumstances along the way. Comes time for him to be buried. He considers the option and he says, bury me with Leah. Now do you remember how this started? Miss the Tide wouldn't take her out. conspires with daddy, tricks the dude into marrying her. It doesn't start much worse than that. Now he's got all this trouble and all this drama for all these years. The Bible says that he hated her. She loved him, he hates her. It's just a disaster. This can't possibly make it. except the fact that it did make it. It so changed along the way that he couldn't stand to be apart from her even in death. Seems very much like things changed the night he heard Rachel slurping mandrake juice in the next tent and realized that Rachel wanted the mandrakes but Leah wanted the man. Everything changed in other words when he realized that one, here's our key, was a no reservations spouse. The only one of those two that was all in with Jacob just for Jacob, not what Jacob could give or provide or do, was Leah. As it turns out, the real love apples weren't pieces of fruit. They were every time Leah sent Jacob the message that he was the only one for her and she couldn't live without him. A successful marriage is often made to sound as complicated as rocket science, but it's usually way simpler than that. If everything you do as a husband or wife sends a no-reservations message, I'm absolutely all in with you. We are riding or dying together. If everything sends that message, Things tend to work out. In fact, they tend to get sweeter than most people could ever imagine. The late preacher E.V. Hill, a black preacher from California, preached his wife's funeral. I heard it years ago, and it is to this day one of my favorite messages. I got a funeral message to be a favorite message. You just have to hear it sometime. He called his wife, Baby. She died in her early fifties of cancer. He was at the funeral talking about their life together, talking about events that happened on the way. And he said this, he said, I decided to buy a service station. And my wife, baby, said, don't do it. You're going to lose your shirt. I said, I'm going to do it anyway, woman. She said, all right, have at it. He said, I bought the service station. Things went bad. They went real bad. I was getting real discouraged. He said, I came home one night, though, and opened the front door, and I saw a meal on the table and candles sitting all around. I said, what meanest thou this woman? She said, you've been working so hard. I just thought we'd have ourselves a candlelight dinner. He said, sounds groovy to me. He said, I went down the hall to the washroom and flipped the light switch, and no lights came on. I came back out sheepishly and said, baby, did they cut the power off? She began to cry, and she said, I know you're working and trying so hard. Since they cut the power off, I figure we just eat by candlelight tonight. He said, she could have broken me in that moment. She could have said, my father, the medical doctor's house, the lights were always on, and the bills were always paid. She could have broken me in that moment. Instead, she said, let's just eat by candlelight. It's a no reservations kind of moment. My accountant is a unique individual. He could easily get on disability. He's been in a wheelchair since childhood. Both of his arms are like this. And yet he has worked as a 911 dispatcher, and he does accountant work. And it's just wild to see him do this number, try to hit the right buttons, and he always gets them right. And we've never been audited, so we're good. But this guy who's in a wheelchair with a crippled up, mangled up body has been married for like 35, 40 years. They've got an adult son now. Things have gone real good in their marriage because in spite of everything she has always sent him the message, you are the only one for me. I'll never be for anybody else but you. I don't think you could pry her away with Captain America. She's that much in with her husband in spite of it all. Going back almost 25 years now, a young couple came in for counseling at our church. They hadn't been with us long. They sat down on the couch across from my desk, crying and weeping and sobbing uncontrollably. When they finally stopped all the crying and weeping, I said, what's going on? The story began to unfold. They had not been married long. They had gotten into an argument. She had gone back home a couple of states away, and the devil is real good at what he does. While she was home with mom and daddy, she happened to run into an old flame. committed adultery on her husband. She felt really guilty about it. Came back and immediately told him everything that had happened. And now they're sitting there on the couch crying and sobbing uncontrollably. And he's saying, Preacher, I just don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to handle this, Preacher. I don't know what to do. When they got quiet for a moment, God just seemed to give me the right answer. I said, young man, I got a question. If I told you, you could likely get this woman to love you more than she's ever even thought of loving you in her entire life. I mean, just about to worship the ground you walk on. Would you be interested in that?" He sniffled for a minute and said, I guess I would. I said, then here's what you do. You assure her right now that you forgive her unconditionally and will never bring it up again the rest of your life. Can you do that? He thought about it for a good minute. Then he finally turned to her and he said, what you did hurt broke my heart. But I absolutely forgive you entirely from the bottom of my heart. And after this day it will never be brought up again as long as I live. That's 25 years ago. It was also three or four kids ago. He's in the ministry now. Their adult son is in the ministry now because he just sent a no reservations message. I'm for you regardless. The real love apples in your life will be those no reservations moment when you send your spouse the message, it's you. It's always been you. It will always only be you. It will never be anybody else. You will have to run me out of here with a stick because I'm all in just for you. Heavenly Father, thank you so much for your work and for all you've done. We love you and appreciate you. Lord, I suppose if Lee and Jake can make it, any home can make it. And Lord, I admire that woman and her no-reservations attitude. Lord, I pray that you'd help each one of us, Lord, to regard our marriage as so precious that we also take a no-reservations attitude to it. And always and only send the message to our spouse that we are all in just for them. Lord, bless the homes represented here tonight. May they stand the test of time and trial. May they get to the end of the way and realize they did it right. And we're blessed on that account. These things I pray in Jesus' name. Amen.