We're going to be looking at the passage in Philippians. So you can open your Bible to Philippians chapter 4. And we're just looking at one verse. One verse today. In verse 5. Now on your hoplite I actually, some of them I printed. from papers that had already been used to design papers. The sign that you're looking for says gentleness. But I hope at some point I get to kind of finish this, because I mean, we started working through verse one, and we're all at verse five, and I'm not going to really be able to I'm going to leave this as a series, but this passage is about being steadfast in the Lord. It says in verse 1, so stand fast in the Lord. And he goes on to talk about how you can be stable in the Lord, have a firm footing in the Lord. Maybe one of these days I'll be able to talk to you about kind of the culmination of this passage. Paul actually says that he's content in any situation. He actually has a secret of contentment, which is a really amazing thing, considering the fact that he was in prison when he said that secret. And he was happy. He had joy. We talk about that joy. It comes from being in the Lord. Actually knowing your final destiny, your salvation, and having that relationship with God and being grounded in this life, you can have happiness, you can have joy in your life, and you can be content. But today we're going to talk about gentleness. Who here has ever heard of Abigail in the Bible? Abigail. She makes a brief appearance in 1 Samuel chapter 25, and yet she makes a really good name for herself. She's a godly character with wisdom, and specifically she has gentleness. And Abigail, who's a potential crisis between her husband and David, King David. David has been exiled. He's on the run, and Saul had a bounty on his head. And so he finds himself camped out next to the estate of Nabal, who's Abigail's husband. And as he's there, he's a very wealthy man with a lot of livestock. David and his men were literally in survival mode. So they're hunting and gathering food, and they're foraging through the forest, whatever, to just survive. And as he's there, it says that he actually took care of Navel's estate. He wasn't reckless with it. He actually, I don't know exactly all that's entailed there. He probably hunted off a fox if he saw it coming here to play. He was a neighbor to Navel. But David requests that Navel would return that same kind of neighborliness, that kindness, that honesty. Because David could have easily justified in his mind that perhaps I, in light of my situation, I could take from Mabel's flock and forage through this field, but I would honestly constrain him. And yet, Nabal returns his kindness and his honesty with scoffing at David and taunting him, which sends David into a furious rage so that he's mounted and ready with his army to go destroy Nabal and his entire state. This is where we meet Abigail. Abigail intercepts David, and she brings him a nice cooked meal, some baked goods, and she speaks to him softly and speaks to him with the honor and dignity that he deserves. And consequently, she diffuses the situation, and David thanks her later for having kept him from doing a very evil and wicked deed. And then it was ten days later that Mabel actually dies. The Lord comes and strikes Mabel dead. So David's anger is pacified and the wisdom and the gentleness of this lady actually brought about a good thing. So today our passage speaks about gentleness. Philippians 4-5 simply means this. Let everyone come to know your gentleness. The Lord is at hand. I'm going to pray. Father, I just ask in the Lord that we would have this kind of wisdom, gentleness of advocate of the Lord, that you would teach us, Lord, how to be restrained in our tongue and soften our speech, kind, gentlest of us. Father, I pray that you would help us now to understand and Lord, by your Spirit, transform us from one degree of glory to another in the name of our Savior, Jesus Christ. We pray this in his name. Amen. So today I want to talk to you about gentleness and how gentleness is a godly characteristic in that it diffuses anger and can diffuse a potentially volatile situation. preserving harmony and preserving peace. Now, again, the context here is being steadfast in the Lord. It says in verse 1, Therefore, my beloved, and long for brothers, my joy of crown, so stand fast in the Lord, my beloved. This is a, if you're going to be stable amidst chaos, amidst a chaotic world, you begin with your stability in the Church. These primary relationships, this is foundational to you. And he gives Ionia and Siddhishe as a case study of how to resolve conflict within the Church in verses 2-3. So, he begins with relational stability in the Church, and then Now, he's on to emotional stability. How are we going to find joy amidst chaos and crisis? How are we going to be strong emotionally? You're going to have joy in the Lord. Here, it speaks of your gentleness. And then he's going to talk about prayer, being anxious for nothing but in everything through prayer and petition, potential requests of God. So he deals with the emotion of anxiety through prayer. You've got to bring those things before the Lord. He speaks of emotional stability. And then in verse 8, he speaks of mental stability, you could say. Focusing your eyes on the Lord, understanding his sovereignty over all things. Focusing on the good aspects of any given situation. He says, think on these things. He lists a bunch of things that you should think on to deal with your mental stability. Again, we're talking about now, here, your gentleness. Your gentleness. Now, in my translation in MED, it says, let everyone come to know your gentleness. The King James Version actually says, let everyone come to know your moderation. ESV says, let everyone come to know your reasonableness. So which one is it? Gentleness? Is it moderation? Is it reasonableness? What does the Apostle have in mind here? Recently, I'm on a road trip with my family, and we drove through Nebraska. Because of the size of our family, we don't go out to eat that much. And it was obvious the kids were kind of surprised about how to order off of a menu, especially my youngest son. I know he's been to a restaurant, but I don't think he had been in quite a while. So he's like, what is this lady doing carrying around a notepad and asking about her orders? But when it came around to his time, she said, you know, sausage? Baking or ham? And he said, yep. You wanted all three, right? You wanted the whole package, right? That's actually true of this word, this Greek word, that nothing is all-encompassing with an English parallel to it. There's no English parallel, but the word in Greek actually, it codifies all of these ideas. It brings them all together. Gentleness, reasonableness, moderation. It means to be cool-headed, to be calm, collective. It means to be unique. Gentle, reasonable, not easily agitated or harsh. A gentle person is not a troublemaker or a rebel rouser. He's not trying to get under your skin or find out where the boiling point is. He's not looking for controversy or trying to stir up a fight. But he rather diffuses anger. And his goal is restoration. The goal of gentleness is peace and harmony and righteousness. So this gentleness can be defined as not being brazen or volatile or proud. And it's about being calm and cool and collective, reasonable, moderate. So that's the definition of gentleness. Second, the command to be gentle. Consider with me a few verses. Proverbs 15.1 says, A soft answer turns away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger. Proverbs 15.18 A wrathful man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger appeases strife. Proverbs 25.15 By long forbearings a prince persuaded, and a soft tongue breaks the bone. And then here in this context, Philippians chapter 2, verse 3, let nothing be done out of strife or deceit, but out of humility. Let each esteem the other better than himself. So it's very clear the Bible commends that a Christian be gentle. And not only commends it, but it commands that it always should be Gentleman, you ought to be gentle. This is the disposition of a Christian. This is their character. It's their nature. And so, Paul actually illustrates gentleness for them here in this context of Philippians chapter 4. Paul, he didn't merely talk the talk, but he walked the walk. and Paul models gentleness in the way he speaks about this conflict that had arisen in Philippi between Goetia and Sinaise. He begins by endearing words to the entire church. He calls them, my beloved, and longs for brothers, let joy in my crown so stand fast, my beloved. And he begins with this gentle speech, this soft speech in his adoration for them. And he affirms them in love. But he goes further than that. He actually wants to diffuse this situation of Yoyo and Shinshige, and he says that they labored And they were his fellow laborers for the gospel. In this difficult situation of ministering in Philippi, which is no friend of the gospel and no friend of the Christians, these women had come alongside the Apostle Paul. And they had also come alongside each other for the sake of evangelizing. And they had a history together. And he reminds them of that history, how they stood together, shoulder to shoulder, for the advancement of the gospel. And they prayed for each other. And they attended to each other's needs. and they have a deep history of affections for each other, whatever differences they have now, that history that bound them together should still bind them together again. They are bound together in the Gospel. These are the things that were most dear to their hearts, and whatever difference of opinions they had, nothing surpassed that great love and affection and value that they shared of the gospel of Jesus Christ, in sharing that life with others. So he shifts their focus away from this heated conflict to a better time. He says, remember your history together. He's calling them to let the reminder of that stir them up to have affection and tenderness amidst this conflict that they're having. He further actually admonishes them to gentleness when he commands them to have joy in the Lord. And you see that joy and gentleness are actually married. These two walk hand in hand together. Joy and gentleness. If you're a joyful person, you're a gentle person. If you're a gentle person, you're a joyful person. And they go hand in hand. And so a Christian is to be gentle at all times. Paul, the Apostle, illustrates this for us very nicely. He looks for ways to encourage them. And he looks, by example, he's teaching us how we can encourage one another. We can speak softly to each other. How we can be encouraging and gentle. He uses affectionate words to round off the hard edges. He brings a glass of water to cool the fire. And so that's the illustration of gentleness. Now, the scope of gentleness, it says, let everyone know your gentleness. This is not the kind of thing that you should turn on and off, depending on who you're in a conversation with. This is for all people at all times. This is to be your characteristic. To even those you don't like or you disagree with. Even your enemies. It says, let everyone know your gentleness. Now, just one qualification. If you're in combat, you should not be gentle. The gentleness is for the sake of avoiding a conflict. If there's a perpetrator who enters into your house at night, it's not the time to be gentle in that moment. You're not going to be able to avert the crisis. The crisis has already come. And so, if you had an opportunity, perhaps, hypothetically, you could meet this person who's about to rob you, and ahead of time you could use gentle, persuasive speech and try to talk them down off that ledge, or maybe they're good or somebody else. That's the time you could be gentle. But when you're in the midst of a crisis, you're in the midst of this conflict, that's the time not to be gentle. Then you're supposed to be a fierce warrior. So this goal of gentleness is to defuse a situation and to avoid a crisis. I think particularly men might struggle with this idea of being gentle. I know especially thinking back to the teen years, you want to be the tough guy. And men, they value being macho, right? It's not particularly appealing to be known as being gentle. We want to be known as being aggressive and tough. But if you think about the people who are really, really tough, aren't they also really gentle? I think of, actually, David, who's got to be the toughest guy in the Bible, and probably the toughest guy ever known in history. David, who slayed the giant, just would conquer and fight him. He was a man's man. He was a tough guy. You know what I mean? His words were so affectionate. His words were so soft and gentle. And I think the reality is, tough guys, really, really tough guys, they don't have anything to prove, do they? They can be gentle. We don't need to prove that. God is gentle. Think about that. God is a warrior. God, there's nothing stronger or tougher than God, and God is so kind and gentle to us. In the person of Jesus Christ, He is gentle towards those who are His enemies. He stooped down. He was too humble towards us. He spoke soft words of affection. He's called the Lamb of God. And so gentleness, you can be the toughest guy in the world and still be gentle. And so that's the stone of our gentleness, though. At all times, all of us, everywhere, we are gentle. We're known for this gentleness. Our God is gentle. And gentleness is characteristic of a Christian because it is characteristic of our God. And we have nothing to prove. So we're known for our gentleness indiscriminately with all people. who are undeserving, those people who curse us, who actually try to get a rise out of us. Actually, I'm reminded of Shinrai. It's just a foul-mouthed twerp who literally curses David as David is coming back from exile. He should have been honored as king, and this guy just curses David. This says nothing. He just walks on by. He lets it all out the back. That's not weird to me. That's what we're supposed to be known for, is this kind of grace and humility and gentleness and patience with people. Now, the motivation for this gentleness, why do Christians not need to retaliate when they're wrong? It says here in our passage, verse 5 again, that everyone comes to know your gentleness, the Lord is at hand. The Lord is at hand. The reason you don't need to be aggressive, you don't need to take revenge on your enemies, the Lord is at hand. All wrongs will be made right, but you need to have patience. You can take the load off yourself of having to judge every situation and bring about the consequences of those things. You can let the Lord be Lord, and you can wait patiently upon Him. I'm speaking to myself, because I'm the guy that likes to search out things. I mean, I guess partially as a daddy, you're supposed to do this, right? You're supposed to get to the bottom of everything, right? Honestly, there's many times where I just can't get to the bottom of things. And there's a principle that's codified in our legal institutions that says, innocent until proven guilty. Why is that? Why do we have that? Because the Lord is at hand. we would rather see justice take place in eternity than to accidentally impugn somebody who has done them wrong. Right? Because we understand that there is a God, and that we don't have to have justice here and now. Because the Lord is at hand. So that Lord's return, because of it, we can endure, we can be patient, we can be calm, and we can be gentle in a conflict. I'm trying to make it about the Hebrews chapter 10 real quick. I just wanted to look at a passage with you. 32, Hebrews 10, 32. Remember the former days in which you endured a great struggle of oppression. These are Christians that have been marginalized. These are Christians that have been dispersed and driven out of their homes, their communities, their cities. Some of them have suffered imprisonment. Some of them have even died for the faith. And so it says that he had endured struggle and affliction. In part, you were made a spectacle both by reproaches and afflictions. So they were verbally assaulted and they were physically assaulted. And in part, you became companions of those who were so abused. Here he's referring to himself. And it goes on, it says, for you have compassion on me in my chains, and joyfully endure the confiscation of your property, knowing that you have in heaven a better and an enduring possession for yourselves. See that? They not only have patience, they not only have gentleness, they weren't only cool-headed through this very difficult trial, but they actually had joy. They knew that the Lord was coming, and they were looking for possessions in heaven. Though they were stripped of all of the things they owed, they were looking for a greater and grander inheritance in heaven. Therefore, do not throw away your confidence, which will be greatly rewarded. For you need patience, so that after you have done the will of God, you will receive the promise For in yet a little while, he who is to come will come and will not wait. Now, so just shall live by faith. But if anyone draws back, my soul shall have no pleasure in him." So these pressures were causing some of these Christians to draw back and return to their old way of life. He's encouraging them to keep looking to the Lord. The Lord is coming. So you can suffer patiently. You don't need to keep tabs of every wrong that's been done against you. You need to leave the matters up to God. Because the Lord is at hand. Now I'm going to close here with some application. First, we need to learn tolerance. Now, when I say tolerance, you might have the wrong idea. Tolerance has been hijacked in our day, and today it means something very different than what it's ever meant in the past. Today it means you must accept every harrowing idea, no matter how stupid it is, right? Or how ungodly it is, or offensive it might be. Every truth is true, so they say all people's opinions are valid. But that's not true, right? There's an objective truth, an objective right and wrong. That's not what I mean by tolerance. I mean that tolerance, according to the old definition, When people have a difference of opinion, you're still kind to each other. You're still gentle, right? You can still maintain cordiality. It's this ability to let things roll off your back. So, you know, be warned, be aware of the fact that because you believe the Bible, and that you believe this objective truth, that you are going to come across conflict in this world. to respond in such a way that it doesn't bring an offense and doesn't immediately cause you to fly off the handle or start counting your finger on the table and demanding that people agree with you. We present the truth, but we don't need to go any further than that. We have tolerance for different ideas. Our goal is not that we are able to actually convince somebody to change their mind, but it's just to present the truth and let God deal with their heart. So that's tolerance. Be persistent in the truth, but don't be combative with the truth. Contend for the faith, once for all, delivered to the saints, but don't be contentious. When you're contending, don't be contentious. Proverbs 19, 11 says, The discretion of a man defers his anger, and it is his glory to pass over a transgression. We're not keeping tabs. Romans 12, 18, if it is possible as much as it depends on you, live peaceably with all men. And so, learn to tolerate. Second, learn to leave. Now, you know it's time, you've got to pick up on the cues. You know it's time to leave the room when you see that vein beginning to pop out of the forehead, right, or the eyes begin to bulge, or their face turns red, right? You've got to pick up on these cues. It's better to return to address the situation later, after the anger has been defused, after the passions have settled. Proverbs 22, 24-25 says, make no friends with an angry man, and with a furious man you will not go, lest you learn his ways and give a snare to your soul. So you don't want his flame to stoke your fire and get you all caught up in his passions. So learn to lead. There's a time just to exit and come back to it another day. Learn to listen. Asking lots of questions for clarification. Say things like, what I hear you saying, and then try to read feedback in a summary kind of way when you think they're trying to communicate to you. Learn to listen. Maybe perhaps you even go so far as to ask them if they can give you an article, a book to read, so you can better understand their position. And then once you've gone thoroughly to understand their position, you can more accurately pinpoint those areas where they were wrong. Or you might discover that they were right. Or you might discover you were both wrong. Or you might discover that they weren't so wrong. There are situations where, depending on the context, your family dynamics are Who knows what school you go to? There's a difference of opinions that's acceptable, right? And so, we're not talking, obviously, matters of doctrine. Again, I'll remind you that if this conflict that existed between Yoda and Zendishev was a matter of doctrine, we have the doctrine expert in the room here. He's not actually Yoda. He's writing his epistle. He's the one who gave us the doctrine. He was inspired by God. He was sent of Jesus Christ, as it means to be an apostle, for the sake of actually penning the New Testament for us. If it was a matter of doctrine, he would have just said, you only have your wrong to say you're right. Or, since Jenny, you're wrong, Julia, you're right, we're probably more likely you're both wrong. And they represented that accurate doctrine. But this is a matter of, you know, should we homeschool the kids? You know, should we have a clock in the sanctuary? Some sort of opinion that could cause a rift between them. But learn to listen. Hear people out thoroughly. Proverbs 18.2 says, A fool has no delight in understanding, but in expressing his own heart. Don't be known as a know-it-all. Learn to listen. James 1, 19-20. Therefore, my beloved brothers, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger, for the anger of man does not work the righteousness of God. get control over our tongues, get control over our minds, listen for a while, try to come to that understanding. Fourth, learn to pick your battles. So if you have a dog in every fight, Learn to pick and choose your battles and save your fight for when the time actually counts. Battle for things of the Lord. When the Lord returns, what do you want Him to see you battling for? The clock in the sanctuary? Do you want Him to see you battling over where you're going to have the church picnic? There's a time to fight, right? And you want to save up your fight for certain situations. Mike actually told me one time that you've got only a buck and a quarter in your pocket. And each time you engage in a conflict with somebody, you've spent that quarter, pretty soon you're going to run out. And that's the way we've got to view this. I mean, it's not saying we shouldn't end up in any kind of disagreement with people, but we need to be careful. We don't want to become known as overly opinionated about every little detail and therefore be discounted by everybody because you're known and you have a reputation for being contentious. So spend it wisely. Learn to take your battles. Romans 14.1, welcome him who is weak in faith, but not for the purpose of arguing over opinions. Don't be opinionated. You don't want to be discounted for being an argumentative person. Fifth, learn to prioritize. We've got this illustration from Mike as well. He's been very helpful in helping me learn gentleness. It says you're cooking a meal. There's always one pan burning. So you might have four different things on the stove, one thing in the oven, and one in the toaster. And at any given moment, you need to not tend to the other four things on the menu. You need to give attention to that one thing that's starting to smoke in your pan. And that's how it is with different battles. There's battles coming from every direction. You need to figure out how you're going to prioritize these things and what you're going to give attention to. What's cooking hot in that moment? Learn to prioritize. Listen to this. 2 Timothy 2.24.26 says, the servant of the Lord must not quarrel, but must be gentle toward all people, able to teach, patient in gentleness, instructing those in opposition. Perhaps God will grant them repentance to know the truth, and they may escape from the snare of the devil after being captured by him who knew his will. So we already know him for his gentleness and self-control, moderation, reasonableness, known as good listeners. God has reason to hold grudges against us, right? Does God do that? No, he's gentle in Christ. He didn't blast us for every offense. He's not grounding and hounding us. He shows us mercy day after day in kindness. We want to have this towards others. So I ask, in closing, are you holding grudges with people? Are there certain people, as you pass by them, you don't look them in the eye? Or perhaps you sit intentionally on the other end of the room? Let me just say that there's no grudges in heaven. And when we're all sitting together at the master's table, you can't be holding a grudge against your brother if you're sitting directly across from him. The Lord's not going to separate you two and put you in opposite ends. And so if there's no grudges, no conflict in eternity, are we not have peace and unity within the church now? Aliyah does not strive towards this and maintains unity now, to learn to tolerate differences, and to learn how to work through differences of opinions, and be gentle amidst that. Heaven is not filled with conflict in the leadership of the Church. And so, there's no grudges in heaven. We need to work towards unity and strive towards this through our gentle nature. So with that, I'm going to pray. Father God, I just want to thank you for this day, God. Another day of your grace, another day of your mercy. Thank you for the gentle Lamb of God who did not come to crush us and drive us apart, but who came to save. And God, I thank you for this time of worship and fellowship with my brothers and sisters here. I ask that you bond these dear, dearly beloved believers together in Christ. I just ask that you be with us this day, Lord, and remind us of your presence always. We praise the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen. I'm going to close with a benediction. Number 624. Number 624. All right. The Lord bless you and keep you. The Lord make His face to shine upon you and be gracious unto you. The Lord lift His countenance upon you and give you peace. Know what God's people said? Amen. Amen. All right, you're excused.