There's nothing better than hearing the pages of scripture turn. So Proverbs 16. And just one verse, verse number nine. Proverbs 16, verse number nine. The word of God says this. A man's heart divides his way, but the Lord directeth his steps. Let's just pause for a word of prayer, and then we'll see what the Lord has for us this morning. Let's pray. Heavenly Father, we thank you, Lord, for the day that you've given us. Never let us forget that this day is a gift of your grace, that you hold our very heartbeats in your hand. And Lord, we thank you for your grace poured out upon us that has allowed us to wake up this morning and to gather together as your body, your bride. And Lord, what an amazing privilege it is to be part of your church. But Lord, as we think about things this morning and meditate upon that verse, Lord, often we make our own plans. We set out how we want the course of our lives to flow. But Lord, our ways are not often your ways. Lord, you're the one that directs our steps. If we would simply surrender to what you would have for us. So Lord, I pray as I tell my story this morning that others would be encouraged, would be challenged even, to look to the Lord, to look to the Lord for the next step, to live a life that's pleasing, a life of sacrifice and humble obedience before a holy and loving God. Lord, I pray that my testimony would encourage others Lord, there's nothing special about me, but there is something special about my God. I thank you, Lord, that you do move in the lives of your children. I thank you, Lord, that you're concerned even with the minutest details of our lives. Lord, your words that you will never leave us nor forsake us are absolute truth. So Lord, we pray this morning that you would have your will and your way amongst us. In Jesus' name, amen. So how did we get here? That's kind of what I wanted to deal with this morning and talk a little through about my story, really, my testimony. And I guess when you're dealing with your testimony, you have to start at the beginning, right? So it all began. On a Thursday, I believe, in October in 1978, when I was born, I was a beautiful baby boy with blue eyes and a gorgeous smile. I don't know what happened to that. In Cambridge, not Northern Ireland, in Cambridge. And life went on. as it does. And really, I think a good few of you in here will know my story, my background, how I got involved in criminality and crime and the lawless paramilitaries, all that sort of stuff. My mother died when I was 17, and it all went pear-shaped. I met a girl, and it went pear-shaped. I met a girl, and things changed. But that's not what I want to focus on, because that's before Christ. That's before Christ. And here's the thing, George. You know, when we say, get up and share your testimony, often what comes into your mind is, let's tell about the day and the hour or the minute when the Lord saved me. And I can tell you about that. 2007, February. But that's part of your testimony, but it's not your testimony in its fullest sense. In fact, that's when the clock or the tape recorder starts to run on your testimony. And your testimony is not how the Lord saved you per se, and that's part of it, but your testimony is what the Lord is doing in your life now. Because if God isn't doing anything in your life now, if you're not walking with God now, if you're not communing with God now, then guess what? Your testimony isn't what it should be. It's not what it should be. So, you know, praise God that he saved me. Praise God that he lifted me out of the pit that I was in, placed me upon the unmovable rock of the Lord Jesus Christ. Praise God for that. But I wanna tell you about how God has worked in my life to get me to this point because I wanna say this clear as I can. God has brought me to this point. Because this was never my plan. Never my plan. It was never my plan to go into ministry. It was never my plan to marry a pastor's daughter, especially David Moore's daughter. That wasn't my plan. It wasn't my plan to go to Spalding and minister there for five years or whatever it was. That wasn't my plan. It wasn't my plan to come back to Stoke. That wasn't my idea. I had to come up with a better one. Lake District, Bahamas, somewhere sunny with a beach. What's my plan? Proverbs 16, 9, Ammon's heart divides his way, but the Lord directs his step. So I wanna take you through the journey of the Lord directing my steps to bring me here. Like I said, I could see in February 2007, John 14, six was the salvation verse that brought me to the Lord, still one of my favorite verses. I am, comma, God divine, the way, the truth, and the life. Nobody comes unto the Father but by me. And that brought me to my knees, brought me to my knees. That eternal, powerful, life-giving word spoke into my life and changed me. God saved me. And I went along the journey and I remember it very well in the old building across the road. Some of you remember that building. and the challenges and the joys. That was one of the buildings that I never went to the men's toilets in. I always saved it for when I went home. For those of you who remember that building, you know why? Because it was like the Antarctic in there. It was the place where people went and didn't come back from, the men's toilets. Horrible place. But I remember in that building, and I remember the very first time that I got up to preach, and that wasn't my plan. It wasn't my plan. Literally, I remember getting a phone call, and it was Brian, I think, it was Brian, and said, basically, I'll paraphrase the discussion, but basically, there's not a man standing alive that's willing to preach on a Sunday. Can you or will you think about preaching? And my kind of straight away thought from that was absolutely not. Because I have never been a public speaker. Never been a public speaker. I've never been one that even in school or any other kind of career that would step forward and really enjoy or take pleasure in speaking to a group of people. I would shine the background. I was always a guy in the shadows. And it's not something that I ever wanted to do. Not something I ever thought I was good at. Some of you may say you're still not good at it, but hey, it is what it is. But there was a choice there. And I remember saying to Claire, you know, I don't feel like I'm doing this. And Claire said, well, maybe the Lord's opening the door. And of course, I'm pretty new to all the Christian stuff, and I'm like, the Lord's opening the door. It's very gracious of him. What does that even mean? And thinking about it, it was the Lord opening the door, the door that ultimately led to here, because I get up and I preach. And I still have that, actually, the recording of that sermon. It's pretty terrible. It's probably over 15 minutes. But the point was, there was a need, there was a call, and I didn't want to do it. But I did it. I did it. And I preached, and on this went, and I started to go and preach a little bit more. Felt the Lord was working in that area. At this point, no point was I ever thinking about becoming a pastor. Not even on the radar. But I was preaching. And so, John 14, 6, I get saved, I came on to ministry, I started to serve, I came into the pulpit and started to preach, started to go around different churches and preach. And as I was doing, what was happening to me as an individual was I was getting puffed up. And I was starting to do this in my own strength. People can look and recognize that the Lord has given me a gift in preaching, and it has to be from him. But I took what the Lord had given me as a gift and started to make it my own, and to polish it up to look like a trophy. And when I started to go out to preach, I really wasn't preaching in the spirit, I was preaching in the flesh. I knew I was. I knew I was. I'm not afraid to say that. That's what I was doing. And that can be a danger. of the pulpit, that it puffs you up till you think that you're some type of God's gift to the community. And I remember being in an RU. and I used to happen in here, and it's Friday night, and I was sitting at the back, sitting at the back just beyond that door, and I was, Brother William was sharing, and I was at the back, and I was just flicking through my Bible. I was listening to what he was saying, but I was kind of just flicking through my Bible. And I was sitting at the back, and I came across a verse, and I want you to turn with me please, to Galatians. Chapter number three. Ecclesiastes chapter number three. We're gonna look at verse number three, but as I was sitting at the back and I was looking at this, and I came across this passage, and to my knowledge, I'd never read this verse, or maybe if I'd read it, it never came out of the word and spoke to me, but I was sitting at the back, and honestly, as I read through this, this verse just spoke right into my heart. The word of God said to me, are you so foolish? And this was talking to me. Having been gone in the spirit, you're now made perfect by the flesh. See, I knew that when I was saved, there was nothing of the flesh in that. Nothing I could do for it. I couldn't earn it. I couldn't work for it. I didn't deserve it. It was grace. And when you come to God and you ask for his saving grace in your life, you bring nothing of yourself. A transaction cannot happen if you offer anything of yourself. You have to come in repentance and faith on your knees to God, acknowledging that he is the creator God, the all-powerful God, the almighty God, and you are a sinner from birth. Your heart is wicked before that holy God, and you have no hope apart from him. No hope apart from heaven. So there's nothing in the flesh can come there. And at that point, you are right where God wants you to be. You've died to self. You've accepted him. You have the new birth. And that's a spiritual work. But guess what happens? You go on in your Christian life. He started to get a little bit puffed up, as I did. And suddenly, the spiritual work, which is the essential work, which is God's work, gets put to the side, and the flesh takes over, and you think that you can go on in your Christian life and sort it all out. Man's heart devises his ways, but it's the Lord that directs his steps. The man's heart and its own desires will lead you to the flesh. It's the Spirit of God and the Word of God that takes you in the path of God. And that's where I was, and maybe that's where you are. Yes, God saved me, I know that, but I've got it from here. I've got it from here. I tell you this, you're doing that in the flesh. You're doing it in the flesh. And this verse just absolutely floored me. God said, Kevin, are you so stupid that you think you can do my work, this work, work out your salvation yourself in the flesh? It's not a work of the flesh. It's a work of the spirit. Your need and reliance from God at salvation is the same as your need and reliance for God in your Christian life. And when you realize that, there's no place to get puffed up. Because you know you're nothing. You have nothing to offer. It's all about him. It's all about him. So that was kind of my eureka moment. where God got a hold of me and said, stop playing this game. Stop playing the Christian. Stop acting. Get real. Get real. Let me work in you. So the Lord began to direct my steps. He started to direct my steps towards service, towards ministry of some form. Remember, I'm already preaching at that point, but I hadn't surrendered to ministry, and I'm faking this bottle as, you know, I'm not good enough, or I, you know, my background, this and that, and I've got all these excuses, and then I go to a man's retreat. I go to a man's retreat, and Pastor Moore is preaching. At the men's retreat in Wales, his very first message, bearing in mind this is what I'm going through, and fighting this struggle where I know that God wants more for me. I know that living a life as the world wants it is not pleasing to God. I know that God has called me, I'm talking about my own personal walk, but this is the same for each and every one of us, to service of some form. Paul says this in Romans 12. I beseech you, therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. We're saved to serve. That's what sanctification is. And I knew that I was being pulled to something, but, and again, what was it? I didn't want to do it, this is not for me, I can't, I can't, I'm not good enough, I'm not this, I'm not that, Lord, you know, use somebody else. Somebody else does a lot of the work in church, doesn't it? Use somebody else. And Pastor Murray preached. message of Moses and his excuses. And Moses lays out those five excuses. Number five is the number of grace. And he lays out these excuses. I don't have the ability. I don't know what to say. The people won't believe me. I'm not a good speaker. And then ultimately the fifth excuse, saying somebody else. I believe there was five excuses given by Moses to point us to the number of grace, to know that it was never about his ability. It was always about the grace of God working in his life to use him for his purposes. So I'm listening to this message and I'm like, oh, that was my excuse. That's my excuse. That's my excuse. That's my excuse. And God again spoke into my life through the preaching of his word and made me realize that I have no excuse before God. If God chooses to use you, you've no excuse. I can't do it. You were never meant to do it. Oh, I don't have the ability. That's good. God doesn't want your ability. It's cheesy, but he wants your availability. It's God in you. Not you using God, but God using you as you surrender to what he has put in front of you. God will always give you the ability to do what he has called you to do. That's our God. Ephesians 2, 8 and 9, we read it all the time. I want you to go home and read Ephesians 2, 10. We were deemed unto good works that you would walk in them. God doesn't set you up to fail. He sets you up to succeed. That's our God. He doesn't take pleasure in thinking, oh, look, I'm going to get this child of mine. I'm going to pretend like I'm calling down a path, and then I'm going to pull the rug from under him. God doesn't do that. That's something we would do. But that's not what God does. He wants to use you. And so all these excuses, I'm like, realize that they're nonsense. They're nonsense, because effectively, when you put an excuse before you and God about how you can't do something for Him, what you're really saying is you can't do that, God. That's what your excuse is saying. You're not able, God. So at that point, I laid it all and said, God, I'm yours. I surrendered to ministry and began the path of training. And that was going okay at the start, you know, Bible college. It was going okay for a while. But then I realized that I really hadn't shall we say, looked at the definition of surrender. I used to have a boss, and she used to do a thing, and I really enjoyed this. And she used to have a dictionary on her desk. And she used to say, whenever she asked somebody if they'd done something, and they would say, yes, I've completed it. Now, in the workplace, a lot of the times when people say I've done it or I've completed it, Generally, maybe they haven't quite done it. So what she used to do was bring them into the office, a bit like a little school child, and ask them, she had a little dictionary and she had a little tab on it, a little marker, where the word completed was. And then she would get them to open the book and say, can you read me the definition of completed? So they would read it. And then she'd say, I'll ask you again, have you completed it? Well, no, I haven't actually completed it. It's the same with surrender. Surrender for the Christian is not a momentary thing. It's not, all right, God, I'll surrender this piece of my life for you for this season. All right, God, I'll give you a little bit more time. Surrender is never partial. It's full. It should be final. But I, in my surrender, it was partial. Thought I'd surrendered everything to God, but I hadn't. Because here's what was happening. I was doing Bible college. I was raising a family, husband. I was a deacon in the church. I was also a managing director of an IT company that had just gone multinational. So I was looking after the entirety of the UK. We used to do the IT for Asda, which used to be owned by Walmart. So all over the UK, 30, 40 in the workforce. So I was doing that, a full-time degree, Bible college, deacon in the church, husband, father, all these things. What was happening is that I was trying to be all things to all men because I hadn't fully surrendered to what God had called me to do. Because I wanted to keep my job, keep all the benefits that came with that, study, do church ministry, and be a good husband and father. Guess what? That was unsustainable. It didn't work. And basically, I got to the point where I was burning the candle at both ends, if you like. I was riding every horse in the race just to make sure that I won. Because if the Bible college didn't work out, well, I still have my career. If the Bible college worked out, well, then good. We could say goodbye to the career. That wasn't surrender. That wasn't trust. That wasn't saying, God, I am completely committed to what you have for me. That was me saying, right, God, I know what you want, but here's my plan. Here's my plan. See me out, God. Bear with me. This is what I want to do, and we'll get to where you want to go, hopefully. But that's not full surrender. A man's heart devises his ways, but it's the Lord that directs the steps. So that wasn't working. It wasn't working. And it got to the point where I really had a breakdown. Mental, physical, spiritual, a complete lot. I just fizzled out. Because it was all in the flesh. And the flesh will feel. You can go on in your own strength for a while, but let me tell you, you will come to the end of your own strength and you will burn out. When you work and operate in the spirit of God, it's an eternal power source that never wears out, that never fades out. But it did. If you come back tonight, if you can bear enough of me, we're going to talk a little bit about mental health. We're going to have a look at Elijah and some of the warnings about when we get down and when we struggle. But the concept that we'll talk about tonight, and it's relevant, is that we believe as a church that we're a trichotomy, body, soul, and spirit, but you have to remember that they're so interconnected. They're so interconnected. When you're physically struggling, can lead to spiritual struggles. When you have spiritual struggles, it can lead to physical struggles. It can lead to mind struggles. Body, soul, and spirit, all interconnected. And I was just in the heat of the moment, did all these things. And it came to crunch. Came to the point that I was lying on my sofa and I said to Claire, I think I'm having a heart attack. I think I'm having a heart attack. My whole arm seized up and just tight. And then I had this aboding feeling that I was about to die. So I went and they got me in and they looked and said, well, nothing too much. Doesn't seem to be a heart problem. They put me on the, what do you call that? Anagram, is it? No, it's not an anagram. Angiogram, that's the one. Well done, sir. And hooked me up, nothing. It was stress. I was trying to do all these things. I was trying to work things out for my good and for my benefit and to devise my own plans, and it wasn't working. Why? Because when I surrendered, in quotation marks, it wasn't full surrender. It was partial. I'll give you this much, Lord, but I'll keep the rest. And it didn't work out. It didn't work out. So, here I am. At that point, I've come out of Bible college. I'm not in a good place spiritually. I kind of just went, pfft. And at that point, I had the offer to go to America. Because remember, I still kept a hold of my career. So even though I'm going through all this, I'm still the managing director of the UK arm of this company. And as I just started in America, in Atlanta, Georgia, they had me out. I was doing bits of work over there with Walmart in the States. So I've been flying back and forth and all that. And then they were courting me, really, to come over there and help them in the business there. And this all happens at the point where I am on my knees, spiritually, because I've just imploded. Imploded. And I remember taking Claire over. I took her over just for a wee tour around it. And it was kind of... It was the place where, if you were to, from a secular point of view, from a worldly point of view, put all your dreams together. Big house, a community, from a Christian point of view, very religious. When you go out there and you go into the garage to get petrol or gas, whatever they call it, and you start to hear Christian songs being played in the guy's forecourts, you know you're in a slightly different place than you are in the UK. If you went into the BP and heard Christian music being played in this country, you would literally fall on your face. What's going on here? But it was, you know, that Bible belt. Churches everywhere. Houses. Just unbelievable. The whole package. They wanted to put my kids into Christian College. Greater Atlanta Christian College, which was founded by Charles Stanley. And it's an absolute monstrous a campus where they take kids right from primary school all the way through to university level. And the enrollment fees were like $5,000 or $6,000 a year. They were going to pay for that. So I'm at this point where I have all that the world would offer right at my fingertips. Right at my fingertips. And faced with the decision, What to do? My heart was saying, oh, that's everything. Set the kids up for life. It's a better environment for them. The hope and glory and all that. But I couldn't do it. I could not do it. And I liken it to my temptation moment, in no way putting myself in the level of Christ, but when the devil came to tempt Christ, he took him up to the pinnacle and he showed him, he showed him the world, said, I'll give you this, which he could have done because he had dominion over it. And that's what I felt the devil did with us as a family. He took us to that pinnacle and he showed us everything the world has to offer. And my heart said, oh, the flesh said, oh, let's do this. This'll be grand. And we couldn't do it. We couldn't do it. And at that point, I realized what surrender meant. It meant saying everything that you hope and dream for in this world, you have to turn your back on and say, Lord, I trust in none of that. to protect me, to keep me, to hold me. But Lord, I'm trusting in you for everything. I surrender. And we surrendered our lives to ministry fully. We said, no, I left my job, got back into Bible college. The doors started to open to Spalding. which was a place that I'd never heard of. Most people still don't know where it is. Spalding. Atlanta, Georgia. Spalding. Atlanta, Georgia. Kids in Christian college. Spalding. Kids in a little school with 80 people. Atlanta, Georgia. High flying salary. Big house. Spalding. rented accommodation, being offered to be paid 400 pounds a month when I first went. Why? Why do that? Because the Lord directed my steps. And when we were going down to Spalding, and we were going there once a month to kind of speak, and we went into the church, and we're like, this church is not for us. It's not for us. There's too much work needs done, all this kind of stuff. And I went down to basically preach for the last time at that church, and to say to the church, No. The usual one, it's not you, it's me. You're nice people, but it's not for us. Will you turn with me to John chapter 21? John 21. So I went down and the message I preached was a message on John 21 from verses 15 on where Jesus deals with Peter. And as I was preaching through this, let's pick up in verse 17, he said unto him the third time, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me? Peter was grieved when he said unto him the third time, Lovest thou me? And he said unto him, Lord, thou knowest all things, thou knowest that I love thee. Jesus saith unto him, Feed my sheep. Verily, verily, I say unto thee, when thou wast young, thou girded thyself, walkest where thou wouldest, but when thou shalt be old, thou shalt stretch forth thy hands, and another shall gird thee, and kie thee where thou wouldest not. This spake he signifying by what death he should glorify God. And when he had spoken this, he saith unto him, follow me. As soon as I preached through that message, I knew that God was saying to me, this is not where you want to go, but this is where I'm telling you to go. Follow me. Got to the end of the service, Clare came over to me and said, I think the Lord's spoken to me. He's told me to follow him. At that point, we knew we had to go to Spalding. We got in the car. Bear in mind, we came down that Sunday to say no. Priest and God had told us, follow him. You don't want to go here, but this is where you've got to go. We got in the car and Claire cried from Spaulding to Stoke, which is a two and a half hour journey, right? It was a nightmare. Just tissue after tissue. Because if you know Claire, she doesn't do change well. She doesn't do grief well. So she does cry a lot. So get ready for that. She cries a lot. We didn't want to go to Spalding. We had family here. We had friends here. I literally lived across the road from my sister. She came to save in faith. My brother, that's another story. I was able to bring him out of Northern Ireland, get him away from the paramilitaries, came to Christ. They're all there. Claire's family having their first, our sisters having their first children. We didn't leave at all, because God told us to go. So we did. We followed him. We didn't want to go. But we followed him to Spalding, where nobody had ever heard of. When you start to go out east toward that way, you literally drop off the side of the world. Honest to goodness, that's the way it is. And the church that, we're like, Lord, this is so not how we do ministry. God told us to go. So we said, we'll go, because the Lord was directing our steps. So then the next stage in my personal walk was ordination. And that's where I had my little wobble, my little crisis, if you like, where things became very real, where not only were we talking about ministry, but we were approaching entering into it, where you're the guy. You're the pastor. You're the guy that people that have been in the faith much longer than you are gonna come and ask questions. And I started to wobble. I'm like, Lord, I can't do this. Come with me to Jeremiah chapter number one, because this is what the Lord gave me. Jeremiah chapter number one. Jeremiah chapter number one, and the Lord really gave me this. Verse one, the words of Jeremiah, the son of Hilkiah, of the priests that were in Anath. on the land of Benjamin, to whom the word of the Lord came in the days of Josiah, the son of Alma, and the king of Judah in the 13th year of his reign. It came also in the days of Jehoiakim, the son of Josiah, king of Judah, unto the end of the 11th year of Zedekiah, the son of Josiah, king of Judah, unto the carrying away of Jerusalem captive in the fifth month. The word of the Lord came unto me, saying, Before I formed thee in the belly, I knew thee. Before they came as forth out of the womb, I sanctified thee. I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations. Then said I, Our Lord God, behold, I cannot speak, for I am a child. That's where I was at. At that point, I'd only been saved seven years, going into ministry. I said, I can't do it. I'm a child. But the Lord said unto me, Say not I am a child, for thou shalt go to all that I shall send thee, and whatsoever I command thee, thou shalt speak. Be not afraid of their faces, for I am with thee to deliver thee, saith the Lord. So again, the Lord spoke into my life and said, These are the people that I have sent you. You've got to go and know that I'm with you. Again, the Lord directed the steps. So I go down, I get ordained, I go and I enter into ministry. Four years, four and a half years of ministry and spalled in. And then comes the call to Milton. The call to Milton. Now, up until this point, I'd said, we're done with Stoke Lord. We've made our sacrifice. We've left. We've trusted you. And the Lord was gracious in that. He did so many things to confirm that we were in the right place. We went to Spalding, and the church thrived. It grew. The people there were a family to me and to mine. I've seen people being birthed in the Lord. I've seen people grow in the Lord. I've seen people that have sat in church for 20 or 30 years step up and say, you know what? I'm not even saved. I want to give my life to Jesus and I want to get baptized. I've baptized an 86 year old. An 80-year-old even a couple of weeks ago that had been baptized in America many years ago, but wasn't saved at that point, that had now the courage to stand up and say, I need to get things right with the Lord. The Lord was absolutely working in the ministry there. He brought Pastor Joshua in. We've planted a church in Boston, which is really starting to take growth now. It's meeting in a physical location now after COVID, and people have come on board. Things were thriving. I got into my grave in the ministry. I knew the people. I wasn't afraid of any of their faces. Today I'm a pastor. Then God comes along and says, I want you to go to Milton. I'm like, Lord, why? Why? Things are good down here. Things are comfortable. I don't want to go and start again. I don't want to have to fight those battles to bring my ministry style into somewhere that isn't maybe necessarily all the way the way I do ministry. Because here's the fact, folks, I don't do ministry the same way as Pastor David. And that's good, because I'm not Pastor David. I'm Pastor Kevin. But Lord, I don't want to do these things. I don't want to face these battles. What about the people in Spalding? What about the people's growth? What about the security of the church? What about the church plant? What about this? I said, Lord, if this is your will, make me willing to be willing. We trusted you to come to Spalding. If you're taking us away now, you need to show us. And my word to my family and my word to Pastor Moore was simply this, the Lord would have to pluck us out, literally drag us out of Spalding to bring us here. So the call came. My desire was to stay in Spalding. I'll be honest. My desire was to stay. But my desire doesn't matter when it comes to what the Lord wants. So I said, Lord, show me. If you want me to come, show me from your word. And I threw down the fleeces before I'm going to get in. And I said, Lord, I've got three burdens. Three burdens that I need you to deal with. The first burden was the church plant. I didn't want to leave Pastor Joshua and Melissa without help to do that plant. As all of this is going on, the Lord starts speaking into the heart of an American missionary who is working in Peterborough under Pastor Jonathan Vanderherg, a lady called Amanda Baker. And Amanda Baker has been in that ministry for a few years now and has really helped it to grow to the fact where they're a very self-sustaining church. There are people within the church that can do the work she was doing. And she felt that the Lord was calling her to go and help somewhere else because her whole ministry ethos is to come and help churches grow and then go and do that for other churches that are struggling. All this is going on, and at that point, these people weren't privy to anything that was going on in our lives. It was a very personal thing about what we should do if Milton came. And so this is all happening on the side, where this lady then starts to get involved in the church plant at Boston. And she starts to help and starts to come alongside Pastor Joshua and Melissa and says that she wants to transition into that ministry, to work in that ministry full-time because her time at Peterborough is up. So straight away I'm saying, oh Lord, this is one of my burdens, this is one of my fleeces. You're providing help for them, full-time worker, experienced worker. You're providing that help. So the fleece that had laid out, the Lord had dealt with, number one. Number two, and this is my biggest burden, was the people at Spalding. My flock, as I thought. people that are my friends and will be my friends for an eternity, people that we love, people that have loved us, supported us, been an amazing blessing to us in ministry. What about them, Lord? How can I leave them? And I was struggling with this, struggling with this. It was breaking my heart. I said, Lord, you need to show me. You need to show me. Sat down for my devotions. We have a couple of different devotional things that we do as a family. But one thing that we do, we've got a devotional book, and we keep it on the breakfast table. I say breakfast table, it's the table. It's the storage table, breakfast table, dinner table, school table, study table, and devotional table. And it's just a simple devotional. I'd recommend it to you. It's just focused in grace. It's by Paul David Tripp, New Morning Mercies. Just a nice reminder of grace, which is an amazing way to start the day. But it's got just the date and the devotion. And I jump in and out of it, because I do my own devotional study, and I study through a book. So I dip in and out of it. And that morning I'm like, Lord, I just wanted something about grace. I didn't want no deep study. I didn't want no theological treaties. I just wanted to be reminded of God's grace in my life. So I open it on the date. John chapter 10. Turn to me. John chapter 10. Of course, this is the great talk on the Good Shepherd. Of course, what was my burden? The sheep. At that point, I thought, it's my flock. They're my sheep, Lord. I can't leave them. The devotional took me through John 10, and again, the word of God spoke into my life. Verse 11, I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd giveth his life for the sheep. Verse 14 again, I am the good shepherd. I know my sheep, and I'm known of mine. Whose sheep did the Lord say? They're his sheep. They're his sheep. And I wept over that because I knew that the Lord was speaking to me and saying, Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, I know you're burdened, but understand they're not your sheep. They're my sheep. Do you remember what passage of scripture I said brought us to Spaulding? John 21. The Lord says to Peter, feed my sheep. The Lord spoke into my life again and said, they were my sheep when I sent you to Spaulding. They remain my sheep if I bring you out of Spaulding. Second burden gone. The Lord took it. Honestly, from that moment, he took that burden. It was a great win when I realized that they weren't mine. They were God's. Burden number two gone. One more burden left. Lord, give me the courage to take on a new ministry, to uplift my family from a place where we are settled, we're loved, just have adapted in the place and it's really nice actually. Give me the courage and strength. I don't know if I can do this. The very next day, the next devotion, turn to Joshua, chapter number one. Joshua, chapter number one. We're gonna read verses one to nine. Now after the death of Moses, the servant of the Lord, it came to pass that the Lord spake unto Joshua, the son of Nun, Moses' minister, saying, Moses, my servant is dead. Now therefore arise, go over this Jordan, thy and all his people, unto the land which I do give them, even to the children of Israel. Every place that the sole of your foot shall tread upon that I have given unto you, as I said unto Moses, From the wilderness and from this Lebanon, even onto the great river, the river Euphrates, all the land of the Hittites, and onto the great sea towards the going down of the sun shall be your coast. There shall not any man be able to stand before thee all the days of thy life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with thee. I will not fail thee, nor forsake thee. Be strong and of good courage. For unto this people shall thou divide for an inheritance the land which I swore unto their fathers to give them. Only be thou strong and very courageous, that thou mayest observe to do according to all the law which Moses my servant commanded thee. Turn not from the right hand or to the left, that thou mayest prosper whither thou go. This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth, But thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein. For then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success. Have I not commanded thee? Be strong and of good courage. Be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed. For the Lord thy God is with thee wherever thou goest. Burden number three. And at that point, I knew God wanted me here. He wanted me here. And I've said all that and shared that with you to make that point, is I didn't want to come here. So I mean, he didn't want me to come here. I didn't want to leave Spalding. There's a lot of things in my journey I didn't plan, but I know I know that God has brought me here. Why? Because he has told me every step of the way through his word. A man's heart devises ways, but the Lord directs his steps. Where do you get that direction? From the word of God. So it's the word of God that has brought me and mine here. That means he has a plan and a purpose. That means that God wants my style of ministry in this place. He wouldn't have brought me if that's not what he wanted. And let me tell you, he has brought me here. Because this is not easy for us. We have to uplift the kids from school, from their friendship networks, from a church that they've grown up in, and turn their lives to come and minister here. But we know that the Lord can be trusted. Why? Because we have tried him when he brought us to Spaulding. We didn't want to go, but we went, and the Lord blessed, and he blessed abundantly. God's called us to Milton. We didn't want to leave Spalding. But we know that trusting him, the Lord is going to bless and he's going to bless abundantly. So I want you to know that I'm here not because I've desired this. Far from it. I'm here because God has called me to come here. So God has brought me in to drive this bus for a while. And the question is for you all, and for those listening, number one, do you want to be on the bus? Number two, are you going to stay on the bus? And number three, there are those that don't want to get on the bus, and that's fine. That's fine. But I'm here to do ministry my way, how I've done it in Spaulding, because I believe that's what God has for this hour for here. I want to tell you what my focus is. Let me close and I'll give you my focus. Turn to Acts chapter two. This is what I'm about. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I'm here just to upheave everything, but I have to do things my way. Otherwise I'm not being true to myself. Acts chapter two, verse 42. You want to know what my ministry is going to be like here? This is it. Acts 2.42. And they continued steadfastly in the apostles' doctrine. My doctrine will not change from what has been taught in this place. Doctrinally, I am in exactly the same place. But the church is not just doctrine. The church is not just teaching. The church is not just turning up and listening. That's not the early church. That's become the modern church, but that's not what I'm about. Next thing, doctrine and fellowship. They were a community. They were a community. And that's what I want this church to be. I want us to grow, to love each other, to bear one another's burdens. Effectively, it's us against the world. That's what it is. Doctrine, fellowship, what's next? Breaking of bread. The family that eats together, stays together. We're going to do that. We're going to do a lot of that. Healthy, obviously. I'm trying to lose a bit of weight. But that's what communities do. The Lord Jesus Christ taught his greatest lessons to his community over a meal. Here's what happens. This is what I've found. The pastor stands in the door, and I do this in the church in Spall, and I stand at the door and I say, how's it going? How are you? I'm okay. I'm good. Yeah, I'm fine. That's generally the pastor congregation dynamic. Okay? So at that point, the pastor knows you're lying, or covering up a little, guarding a little. And you know that you're not being completely honest with the pastor, because do you know what? There's parts of your life that are a mess, or you've had a really rubbish week. You're feeling down, you're feeling depressed, you're feeling lonely. You want to share, but you don't feel you can share. You take the same setting and you're sitting, you're eating, and the pastor comes along and says to you, he's eating too, and he starts to say, well, how's it going? In that setting, you're far more likely to open up. That's why it's important as a community to eat together, to fellowship together. And then what's the last thing? Prayers. Prayer, should prayer not be doctrine prayer? Should that not be the way it goes? Doctrine, fellowship, breaking of bread, community, community centered in grace, the word, fellowshiping together, then praying together. Pray to God, you've got to be right this way. We're doing communion later on. That's what that's all about. So that's the way I do ministry. We're going to keep the doctrine, but we're going to work on some things. You know, this church, William said it, lots of children. What a blessing. What a blessing. But you know the 2 to 14 window? Have you heard about the 2 to 14 window? From the ages of 2 to 14, that's your opportunity to win the children for Christ, to influence them, to put positive ways of thinking in their lives. 2 to 14. After that, you've gone. How do you do that? How do you do it? It's needed. You need to show them community. You need to show them that church is not just a Sunday thing for you. Church is a life. You are a body. You are a group that you do life together. Faith is a community project. That's God's word on it. That's God's word on it. So if the children that are raised up through this church don't see that in you, why would they ever go on to live that? You want to reach those children? You reach the families. How do you reach the families? By being a family. Like I said, some people won't want to get on this bus. That's too touchy-feely. That's fine. But that's what I believe God has brought me here to do. To build that community, word-centered, but fellowship, breaking of bread. together. I want to see a church where you walk through on a Sunday morning and there's people praying for one another in the corridor. There's people going in the side rooms and there's people praying around each other, knowing that we face a world that is wicked, knowing that we need the community of God to be able to walk as we should. And when we do that, then we can reach the community out there. Because guess what? We're going to show Better than what they are. Better. Some people say, oh, the church, we don't want to make it a social club. It's not a social club. It's a family club. It's a family club. So that's what we want to do. I think that's what the Lord's brought me here to do. Not to turn everything on its head, but just to bring us together. We may glorify the Lord, and through that, reach the community of the lost. They're right in our doorstep. Let's listen to the Lord and He'll direct our steps. Let's pray. Heavenly Father, we thank you, Lord, for this time in your word. I thank you, Lord, that you have indeed spoken to my life at each and every point that I've doubted, I've feared, or I've...