Well, today we come to sermon number 35 in our Suggested Topics sermon series. This is the first category that I've placed in the Christian Living in the Home section. And there are eight sermons that I am intending to preach in this category. So the suggestion that we're taking up today was very general in nature. There is a request for a sermon on marriage, parenting, and children. Now, perhaps in the middle of it, we need to do separate sermons on each of these. We need a series of sermons on each one. But the request was all in one. And this person had other requests as well that they had made. So I'm taking it all in one sermon. And it's going to be, therefore, very much in an overview fashion. Looking at how to build a Christian family is really how I'm going to look at it. And it will provide a better introduction for us to this topic and this category of Christian living in the home. And I've chosen Psalm 127 as our text for this. It tells us the one essential thing that is required to build a Christian household. So let's take a look at that. We'll read that now, 127. Before I do actually begin the reading, I do want to mention, maybe you're wondering why I read 1 Corinthians chapter 3 in relation to this. Because it's talking about, you know, the Church of Corinth and Paul and Pius and all of those things. The reason I did is because it talks about how they can't do anything without their Lord. And that's the way it bears a house, the way that David is talking about that. He says, who is Paul? Who is the father of tomorrow? God is the one that gives the increase. And so that is the reason that, how that correlates with what we're looking at here. We remember that as we think about it, that God is the one who has to give the increase to our homes. Beginning in verse 1. A song of assent of Solomon. Unless the Lord builds a house, they labor in vain who build it. Unless the Lord guards the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows, for so he gives his beloved sleep. Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord. The fruit of the womb is a reward like arrows in the hand of a warrior. So are the children of one's youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them. They shall not be ashamed, but shall speak with their enemies in the gate. And in the reading of God's holy word. Mary and I had this as a theme, sort of verse, you know, passage at our wedding. And, you know, more than anything, we wanted to have a godly home when we were getting married, or at least that's what we thought our desire was. I'm sure we weren't purely set on that, but that was something that was a great desire that we had. And this psalm was a great encouragement to us because we knew enough about ourselves to know that we were not capable of doing any such thing. And so we started out with that in mind when we first got married, that unless God does this, there's nothing good going to come of it. And this psalm agrees with that, that if we were to do this without God, we would completely be laboring in vain. It presented a wonderful, comforting idea, though, of God building the house. And that's the thing that is so encouraging about this passage. You see what it says. Unless the Lord builds the house. They labor in vain who build it. Unless he does it, then no matter what you do, you won't accomplish anything worthwhile. The encouraging thing is that building houses is something that God does. Why else does it say unless the Lord builds the house, if it's not something that he does? So, dear Christian people, this is our only hope for our families in the church. And whether you're married and leading a family yourself or if you're single or your children are grown or whatever your situation is, it concerns all of us to see families flourish and grow as part of the covenant community and it's something that we pray for as a people of God. And any family that is just wasting their time if they build a great family in the world that obtains maybe great success and great wealth and prestige and honor in the world, but is not godly. then they labor in vain. It's a house that they built themselves. As Jesus said about individuals, what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses his own soul? That can be said of families as well. Again, it's extremely comforting to know that God is in the business of building godly homes. So our hope is in him through our Lord Jesus Christ. Just one more comment, I mentioned about that Mary and I had this as a verse when we got married. It was very interesting when Esther and Sam got married that they also had this passage. And I mentioned that to them when they kind of looked at this as a theme passage for their starting out. So our hope has to be in the Lord. But what does it mean for God to build our house? That's what we want to look at. How does God do that? How does that happen? Well, first of all, a family built by God is one that is governed by him. In other words, it must submit to his lordship. The members of the family will follow the Lord and they will help each other to know and submit to his will. It is something they do not only as individuals, but also as a family. We need to learn to think that way. We're so individualistic, we just think of ourselves, but we're part of a family that together is to grow in the Lord. And in this case, this first thing, to obey Him as our Lord. So what does it look like? There's four ways that the family will submit to his government that I've identified here. You could have done 20 ways, but this is, here are four. First, it will submit to him as to its structure. This is very, very important. When a king is ruling over a territory, then he appoints various kinds of officers with various kinds of tasks. and establishes a governing structure that they are to fulfill, carrying out different aspects of his kingdom and oversight of different parts. If they were to start making their own order and to have different structure than what he has appointed, then they would no longer be under his rule. they would be doing their own thing. Just as God established government for His church, so He established government for the families that are in Him. With the way our society has gone over the last century, we can see all the more how significant it is to follow the structure, governing structure that he has given to the home. We can see this because there's so many radical deviations. There have been more secondary deviations, but now there's radical deviations. Let's look at some of the basic components of a family governed by him as to its structure. The foundation of such a family is marriage of one man and one woman. That used to be assumed. If you're having a family, there's one man and one woman that marry. This is no longer assumed. Now we have families with two moms or two females where one claims to be a dad, or similar situations with males. There are those who have children when they aren't married with vows and witnesses. They're not properly a family and are charged by God with fornication and their children are illegitimate children. But that's not all there is to be governed by the Lord. It's not just that. As we saw in much detail in a previous sermon, God has appointed that the head of woman is man. First Corinthians 11 3. So he's given roles. He has charged men to be answerable to him for their families. So they stand before God in behalf of their family. He has called the men to represent Christ in loving and nurturing their children and their wives, cherishing them in his name. In connection with this, the woman is called to submit to her husband and to be a helper to him. It is given to her to bring forth children if they're able and to nurse them and care for them. She manages the home under her husband's leadership. The children are to honor and obey their parents. That's not even assumed anymore in our present situation. Children are not meant to be left to themselves or to be handed off to others, but are responsible to their parents. The children are not to run the house either. They're not the ones that make the decisions and they're in charge. The parents are to do that before God in a responsible way. Some people go to church where their children want to go rather than exercising wisdom or decide what school they're going to go to when they're little. You know, that kind of a thing. They let the child decide because they like the color of the school or something like that. They're to be provided for and trained up in the nurture and fear of the Lord. and their parents are appointed to correct them and to chasten them when they go astray. That's another aspect of government God has instituted and appointed. So He's given us ways and means and structure. So if we would be governed by God, we need to submit to the structure He has appointed. Don't listen to those who claim to have some kind of insight about marriage and family. if they don't submit to the basic structure that God has appointed. Because whatever they say, it's not right if they don't have the basic structure right. We can see trouble that comes when we break away. For example, a kind of a curious trouble that has arisen in our modern society is where we have abandoned marriage so much as a society. More and more women are feeling violated by men, that they have sexual relations with them in a one-night stand or something like that, and then they say, oh, I didn't really ever give consent, and I was raped. I had a drink, and I was raped, and that kind of a thing. And where did this come from? You know, well, we have God. God has fixed things so that you make vows and promises and before witnesses and you make sure that this is someone you really want to be with before you get married and have sex. And so you see how the world gets itself and binds even in their own mind when they deviate from God's ways. But then we could also mention how there's the problem of marriage not being a permanent thing or people not married at all when they have children. And then you have the problem of children that grow up with a single parent where They don't have the full care that God has appointed in their home. And that's a difficult thing, too, that has developed in our society. But despite all that, the main issue is that God is not the one who's building the house. if we deviate from his governing structure. And that's the main issue. Even if everything's going smoothly as far as the people are concerned and whatever kind of structure they have set up, it's not God who's building that house because it's not based on his structure. So you need to see that a family submits to the structure that God appointed. Now let's look at the second way that a family will submit to the Lord if it is governed by him. Second, it will submit to him as to its laws. The Lord has written His law in our heart from creation. But because we're twisted by the fall, He also mercifully gave us His commandments in writing. He carved them on stone, of course, didn't He, and gave us the Ten Commandments. He tells us in His Word, then, not only in our conscience that we had from creation, but also He tells us in His Word what is right and wrong. For example, lying and gossiping are wrong. Idolatry is wrong. We are to remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy. Sometimes it would appear that these commandments are not known at all, that God is not the one who's governing. Above all, He commanded us to love Him and to love each other. Some families don't even have that as something that they particularly aim for. They just try to kind of coexist and kind of just not get in fights or something. You know, we're also to love our neighbors ourselves. We're to love God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength and our neighbors ourselves. We are sinners and we stumble in many ways. But if we set aside the standard, we say we're not even aiming for the standard, then we're not under God's rule or anymore. We're just doing our own thing. We're not. He's not our Lord. It cannot be said that he is building our house in that case. We're building our family in our own way instead of the way that he has given us with the laws that he has appointed for his people. If we're under his government when we deviate from his law, then we will also do what he tells us to do when we deviate. We will repent and we will come back to him. We will confess the wrong and we will ask God and those that we have sinned against for forgiveness. in the way that He's directed. If we don't maintain this, then we reject the Lord as our Lord, and we can no longer claim to be a family that God is building. We're something else. We're doing it without Him. He's not building our house. Now, for the third way that a family built by God submits to His rule, third, it will submit to Him as to its service. The family will engage in service. Now, as individuals, we are to engage in service and there'll be much of that too, but also as a family, they will do things like hospitality to encourage the saints. They will do evangelism to the lost. There will be a working together as a family unit. When we have people over to the house, when they have people over to the house, it will be a family effort. Maybe one will make the dessert and another will clean up or something. But with the idea that we're serving the people who are coming over. Or perhaps they will agree to, as a family, that they want to sponsor a child for Word and Deed. Through Word and Deed, one of the children, and maybe they'll pray together for that family. Maybe they'll contribute to it. Maybe the children will do work so that they can contribute to it. There's all kinds of ways that families can do things like that together as a family, that they're working together as a unit and reaching out, ministering to other people. serving the Lord. They will minister to the needs of others in the church and the community, wives and husbands, together with their children. Again, not that every act of service will be a family affair. but that the family will have things that are family affairs in the way of service. It will even include talking about their individual ministries as well, as each one, maybe one's going out to work over here, another one over there. When they come together, they will talk about, strategize together. Maybe they're trying to reach someone at work, and there'll be counsel that goes on with that, or they're trying to help someone that has a problem. There's mutual counsel that goes on in prayer for each other as a family. They're together. They've been put together as a unit. It's a blessing when children get older and they begin to contribute more counsel into the family's ministry and what they're doing and how they're doing it. Submission and service also includes submitting as a family to what God brings on you in his providence. So this is a different kind of submission, isn't it? For example, if he brings economic breakdown to the family, you have financially difficult times, then you'll seek God together. in that time. And you'll yield yourselves to bear patiently with what He has sent. You'll help each other to do this. Maybe the children will even find ways to contribute that they hadn't done before if one of their parents is infirm. Or maybe there's an older family member that needs care or something like that and the family comes together. or if there's sickness or death in the family, then you'll trust God together with that. Job's wife deviated from this when their household received great trouble. Job was leading in the right way, but she told him when he was so afflicted, when they were so afflicted, that he should curse God and die. She was not working together with him as part of his family. She had to work through that and be willing to serve the Lord, whether in poverty or prosperity. We don't know. We're not told what became of her, what she did, whether she did that or not. But she was guilty of breaking up the family so that the family, in as much as she was concerned, was not functioning as a family. because she had hardened her heart and pulled away from what the family was doing rightly under the leadership of Job. If it had been the other way around and Job was the one that was cursing God and wanting to curse God and die, then it would have been right for her to resist him in that. But it was completely wrong for her when he was doing the right thing to pull away from that and not to be supportive of him. Now, let's look at the fourth way that a family is to submit to God's lordship. Fourth, it will submit to him as to its worship, both in private and public. When God called Abram to come to him for salvation, he also commanded him to command his household after him. Now, we're going to have a couple of sermons that are devoted to that topic because there were requests about family worship, how it could be conducted and different aspects of it. So we'll have that coming up later. But for now, just understand God expects fathers to lead their families in the ordinances of God. to pray together, to read God's Word together, and to praise Him together. Yes, you should have your private, individual devotions, but you also come together as a family to call on the name of the Lord. Jeremiah actually asked God to curse those families that do not do this, because they were the ones that were opposing God's people. In Jeremiah 10, 25, he says, pour out your fury on the Gentiles, the nations who do not know you and on the families who do not call on your name, for they have eaten up. Jacob devoured him and consumed him and made his dwelling place desolate. We are instructed by the Lord to pray and to praise God daily and to seek wisdom at his gates every day, as it says in Proverbs. Public worship is appointed as a weekly convocation, but we're also called to come to God as families each day unless we are truly providentially hindered, not as a habit, you see, not just when it's not convenient. What a blessing it is for families to sing praise to our great God. That's one of the advantages of having a family when you're by yourself. Yeah, you can sing praise to God. It's a lot more special to to sing praises as a household, to consider what he has done and to give thanks to him. There's a greater thing when you tell other people about what God has done. You point out what he's done and you encourage one another in that. and to bring our burdens in prayer to him. We lean upon each other. I was talking to the Poulins the other day and they mentioned how the children were praying for Eric in this time of his job loss and sickness. That's the kind of thing I'm talking about. Wives should encourage and support their husbands in this great work of the family joining together in their praise and prayers and receiving of the word. They should be wholeheartedly engaged with their husbands in this work and supporting them. And when it comes to public worship, Families are to engage in public worship as families, not each one doing their own thing in the household, but together calling on the name of the Lord. God calls us to bring our little children to him for blessing, and that includes the ordinances of worship in the church. He has ordained praise from the lips of the little ones. When children are very small, they can learn to engage in public worship in the church. It's only in modern times that the notion was taken up of having children to participate in a separate service from their parents and not be together worshipping with their parents. God calls men, women, and children to come before Him. Yes, there is a principle of mercy, of course, that is predominant in the Scriptures, and it would apply to families with young children. We see that in his caring indulgence that God required the men only were required to go up to Jerusalem for the three annual feasts when it was an undue hardship. for the women to make the journey with small children. The women would often go, but if they just had a baby or they were, you know, maybe recovering from that or there were children that were, many small children and not a good means of transportation, you know, whatever, then there was that liberty. This means that when there are hardships today, such as after a birth of a child or things like that, there is liberty for there to be a flexibility with that. But as a general rule, I would want to encourage our families to participate more in both of the services of worship that we have as a church. It's a very fruitful time, and I remember When I was in churches where there was more of a universal attendance of the families in both services, there was a great blessing in that because the households were together in both services. And many times, the second service was especially a sweet time when there was encouragement. And afterward, when everyone's kind of relaxed and just together, maybe going over to each other's houses afterward or whatever, you miss out on some of the blessings that come through the church work. God has appointed morning and evening services and sacrifices, a.m. and p.m. services. And this is a thing that is very helpful for us. So so there we have what submission to the Lord looks like in families that are being built by God. Unless the Lord is governing you as to your structure, your laws, your service, and your worship as a family, you have no grounds for saying that he is building your house. you're doing your own thing. But there is another characteristic that is also very important, a second main category here. Not only is a family built by God one that is submissive to Him as Lord, also a family that is built by God is one that relies on Him to build their home. So this is the principle of faith. They are a family that trusts God as a family for their house. They're a family that has faith in God's promised salvation. They look to Him as their Redeemer who gives them all that they need to be saved and to continue as His people. Just as scripture tells us as individuals that we must believe on the Lord Jesus Christ to be saved, it also, in a kind of a way, tells us that as households we must believe on Him to be saved. Now that does not mean that an individual in an unbelieving home cannot be saved. Certainly they can. Nor does it mean the opposite of that, that an individual in a believing home who is rebellious is saved because the rest of the family is. But it means that there is a characteristic of a household that is in the Lord and another household that is not in the Lord. It means that the families as families cannot be saved unless they depend on the Lord to save them. Did God not promise that you and your house will be saved in the gospel? Did he not tell us that those who were first baptized at Pentecost, the promise was to them and to their children, along with those from other nations that were far away? He did say that. So let's look at four ways that families are called upon to look to God. First, a family is to look to God for its daily bread and protection in this world. We're not speaking here then about salvation of the soul, but about the dependence that a true believing family has on God for their daily provision in the world. Did Jesus not teach us to pray, give us this day our daily bread? included in this prayer for our physical needs, our physical health, and our physical protection. All of those are included. We know that it is the Lord who sustains us. We are to call upon Him as individuals. We're to call upon Him as nations for our provision. And we're to call upon Him as families. God can bless or curse a nation. He can bless or curse a family. He can bless or curse an individual. And as we daily receive His care and protection, we're also to acknowledge Him together as a family, to give thanks for His care, trusting in Him to send us what is right each day. As I spoke about earlier, whether poverty or riches, sometimes as a family it's good to get your children together if there's a financial hardship. And, you know, pray with them. I remember one of my daughters hearing Mary, me talking in the, when we didn't know she could hear, and she would get worried because we'd say, you know, how are we going to get through this month or whatever? And we would be praying. about that, and then she said she learned not to worry because God always answered. But it was important. Sometimes we would draw our children in when they were very little, like when we needed something that we did not have, like when our car was broken down and we didn't have the means to get a new car when I was in seminary, and we prayed. And we prayed with the children, and they saw God answer and provide for us. So families are to trust Him together for His care of them, as they're in their bodies and in their properties. But certainly it is not enough for a family to trust in the Lord for temporal needs in this world and then stop with that. That wouldn't be, that wouldn't satisfy at all. Second, a family should trust in him for its justification. We must trust in the Lord Jesus for forgiveness of their sins and for a right standing with God. He has graciously provided righteousness with full forgiveness through his son, Jesus Christ, who was crucified for our sins. He imparts righteousness to us when we trust in him to justify us. We are sinners. If we do not have righteousness by faith, then we will be condemned with the world. It's important for families to look to God's salvation in Christ for their children before their children can even speak. In other words, there is a faith that is exercised, just like we see when people were healed in Jesus' ministry, like the guys with the paralytic, they brought him to Jesus. His friends had faith and they brought him. And he saw their faith, doesn't say his faith, but their faith, and healed the man and forgave his sins. As already mentioned, God has told us that if we trust in him, we in our house will be saved. Each person who is of years and ability to do so must personally believe on the Lord Jesus Christ. It is the duty of every individual to trust in Him for their salvation. Fathers, though, are to bring up their children to do this, teaching them to look to Him for forgiveness and to trust in Him for it and praying for the Holy Spirit to work in their hearts. But you see, the whole family can be involved in that. Older siblings and things like that. Families are also to look to Him and trust in Him for the salvation of the ones that are newly born to them. And those who are mentally incapable of understanding the gospel themselves. They come as a family before the Lord for those that can't speak for themselves. And say, Lord, have mercy on our family. Our salvation is in Your hands. And they give it over to Him. God has told us that even little children who are not at all old enough to understand the gospel are saved through the same way that we are, through the Lord Jesus Christ, before they have ability to actually exercise personal faith. And when a family as a family lives in this trust, they will also encourage one another to look to Christ for forgiveness when they see another family member that has sinned, or when they see a family member that is disheartened. by their own, they've lost their assurance and their lack of confidence in the Lord. They will pray for each other to rest in Him and to trust in His salvation and even pray for repentance and forgiveness for each other and for family sins. We sometimes are very hesitant to do that, to actually pray like that. Think about Job, who is commended for offering sacrifices for his children which was the ordinance in the Old Testament when you were looking to God for mercy. Job went in and in the case of sin, Job 5, it calls us to rise early in the morning and offer burnt offerings after the days of feasting that his children had, according to the number of them all. For Job said, it may be that my sons have sinned and cursed God in their hearts. So he was looking to God to hear him and to restore his children. Families are to live in the constant encouragement of God's forgiving mercy in Christ. You're to give thanks for it as families, and you're to ensure that the other families are indeed trusting in Christ. And you are to comfort one another in the assurance of forgiveness that we have in the Lord, because people can lose heart. We make it a regular practice to pray with our children when they were little, and we had disciplined them for their sins. Our main reason for disciplining them was to get their attention that they had sinned against God, and that this was a thing that they needed to be attentive about and to deal with. and that sinning against God, that they needed to go to Him for forgiveness and help and not just continue on in that sin, continue on in sinful paths that were in rebellion against God. We would pray for them and lead them in prayer for forgiveness and help. Even before they could speak, we would pray for them. And then when they could start to imitate us and speak after us, we would lead them in these prayers, reminding them what Jesus has done for us. as a family and how we can look to him for the promise of forgiveness and transformation and then giving thanks to him together so that when we left the the place where we had taken them to discipline them, then we would go away rejoicing in the Lord and his forgiving mercies that has set us back on track so that we can continue as a family serving him and calling on his name. A family that is being built by God is a family then that trusts in Jesus Christ for their salvation. Another thing, it also trusts the Lord for growth and grace, for sanctification. When God is building your house, your house will grow. It will be growing. You will be finding out more and more what pleases the Lord and walking in those ways as a family. You will grow in your love for Him and your obedience to Him as a family. As a family, you will put off your old ways and put on conformity to Christ. Instead of malice in the home, you'll put on tender mercies. Instead of envy, There will be an appreciation for each other's gifts and graces. Instead of looking and saying, you'll be glad that someone else has something, that they have a virtue, that they have something that you don't have. Instead of bitterness, Resentment, there will be forgiveness and a true desire to see each other flourish and prosper. This is where godliness takes root. It's with the people that we live with every day. It's not out there somewhere that we're caring for someone that is a stranger to us. Yes, we should do that. But right in the home, do I want, am I glad when one of my siblings does really, really well even if I didn't? I'm like, whoa, that's a wicked heart. Instead of grasping and claiming rights, there will be giving and generosity and deference to one another. Instead of lying and slander about each other, there will be honesty and praising each other's virtues. Instead of bickering and clamor and strife, there will be support and encouragement. In short, there will be love in place of hatred, a growing in love. We're talking about growth. I'm setting a standard that we are to aim for. We shouldn't be indifferent to such a standard and say, oh, it's impossible. No, it's not. In the grace of God, we can begin to see these things develop. Family growth is a beautiful thing. A family that is living for the Lord can set out a better example of Christ than an individual can by themselves. To see husbands loving their wives like Christ loved the Church, that speaks to the world. It's a rare thing. To see wives cheerfully submitting to their husbands as the Church does to Christ. to see children honoring their parents as the church honors the Lord, and to see parents wanting to be led by their parents and guided by them and to have wisdom, to have their parents' wisdom. It's a beautiful thing that the world will take notice of. This sanctification and growth will happen only through dependence on the Lord. That's what we're talking about here. You will use the means of grace. Do you remember what the means of grace are? They are the means that God uses to bring His growth, to bring growth to us, growth in grace, that we grow in these things that I'm talking about here. And He uses the means to bring us to believe in Him in the first place. What do they include? Well, the primary means of grace are the words, sacraments, and prayer. Of course, we don't use the sacraments in our home, but we're still connected with those sacraments as families. As families, you must look to God to use these means so that you will grow in love and obedience. And you must employ these means looking to the Lord, who alone can help you as a family. So, see, these are things that He brings forth if he's building the house, and we have to trust him for it, because you can't do it. That's the whole point. That's what we're talking about. We depend on him. We look to him because we don't have it in us. Now we come to the fourth thing that a family trusts the Lord to do, and this family will look to him for its preservation in the gospel. The Bible teaches us that if we are to be saved, we must continue in faith and patience. Why does it say impatience? Why does it say that we are to continue in patience? It's because hard things come that will throw us off. In other words, we must not get weary of serving the Lord so that we go away from Him to walk no more with Him. and to see a family member to do that. We're to be concerned about that in our home. Jesus tells the parable of the sower where some who had received the gospel, albeit in a superficial way, were led away by one of two things. either because of weariness with hardships that come from serving the Lord, persecutions and trials that they wrongly responded to, okay, that was one way, and another way, because of temptations and enticements from the world. the cares of the world, and the lust for other things. Families can fall away as families in the same way. A family that was once vibrant from the Lord has trials, and the whole family can harden their heart and become bitter toward the Lord. Or vice versa, they can go on growing in the Lord, they need his help. We look to him for his help. We've had families in our church, we had one family in particular, that we had to discipline the whole family. And that was a very sad thing to do, where the whole family went astray and turned from God. It is important for the members of the family then to pray for each other about this. We're depending on the Lord. Parents, if you should see signs of hardness of heart in one of your children or in your spouse, you should get on your knees and plead with the Lord your God. Our dependence is on Him. Pray that He will show you how you might have contributed to the hardening that you see in other family members, because we're all together as a family. Maybe by your negligence, or maybe by your poor example. Have you had a hand in that? Ask Him to help you know how you can minister to them, and then go to them and try to help them. Don't hesitate to take them to talk to the elders if they will not hear, so the elders can attempt to help. And children, if it's a brother or sister, sometimes you're the first one to see hardening begin in a brother or sister. Hardening of heart. What do you do? Do you say, oh, I don't want to get them in trouble? It's not about getting them in trouble, it's getting help. Do the same thing, get on your knees first. Get on your knees and cry out to God and say, my brother is hardening his heart, Lord, have mercy and help me to know how to reach him, or my sister is hardening her heart. This is one of the great benefits of being a family, that you have people that are with you, that are in close proximity, that are working together and serving together. And you're the first to see this. If a person is by themselves, they may not be noticed for a long time. They can put on airs when they go out, and no one knows about it. Don't be indifferent to this. Talk to them and try to help them. And if they won't hear you, then go and get someone else in the family, just like it says in Matthew. Get parents or you're not doing harm to them. This is such an important thing. It's better to take them to go to your parents as well if you go to talk to someone else. Don't just go talk about them. Take the other person with you and talk to them together so that they can hear the whole story. Families also need to pray as families that they will continue to grow in grace. Pray especially for the father, that he will not get weary in serving the Lord, that he will be faithful to lead you in God's ways so that you will be strong as a family. If you detect that your family is drifting, even if you're a little child, go and talk to your parents about it. Talk to your husband about it if it's your husband. Families built by God lean on Him for their preservation and growth in grace. Indeed, as we have seen, families look to Him for their daily provision, for their justification, for their sanctification, and for their preservation in grace. And then what we saw before, the first main thing, families built by God are families that submit to Him as Lord in their structure, in their laws, their service, and their worship. Such will be the characteristics of a family built by the Lord. And now lastly, I want to show you that a family that is built by God will be greatly blessed. When God blesses us, What is the blessing He gives us? He gives Himself to us. That's the great blessing we're after. We get off track if that's not the blessing that we're seeking. You know, if we're just looking for some kind of blessing as we've defined it. No, we want to come to God as a family. To know Him, to live for Him, to be His. There is nothing greater to be desired than this. A family built by the Lord is fruitful. They have the blessing of lasting fruitfulness. What does it say in our psalm that we read, 127? That their labor is not in vain. They don't spin their wheels the way our text says a family will do if it does not, if God does not build that family. Psalm 127 gives the picture that without God, they grind away, laboring night and day, staying up late, rising up early without rest, and yet their labor is all in vain. They've got nothing to show for it. Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain that build it. Nothing comes of it. But the family that God does build, that is a family that's making progress. They're going on for the Lord. They're growing in his grace. They're also able to minister fruitfully to others. Their example stands out, not because they go out and try to draw attention to themselves, but because they're walking with God. They're living for him and they're growing. You see a family that loves each other. As I said earlier, it stands out in the world. You see a family that loves God, and it will often lead other families to be encouraged to do the same. Verse 5 tells how children in such a family speak with the enemies of the family in the gate. A place where decisions are made, a place where people meet in the gates of the city and they carry the influence of their family into other places. A family built by the Lord then is fruitful in all of those ways. Not only are they fruitful, a family built by the Lord will also be secure and at rest. They are not fretful and anxious. They know that they are in God's hands. They encourage each other to rest in what he has promised, to know that he is the one building the house. I was really encouraged about that the other night when we had a prayer meeting. And Ray Silver was praying with us when the elders prayed the other night. And he prayed, God is the one that is doing the work. And I just found that simple prayer was so encouraging to remember that, that yeah, it's his work. Even when there are families, they encourage each other to look to him and to know that he is merciful and that he will hear them. As Solomon taught, two are better than one because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up. There is so much uncertainty in the world today. people are filled with all sorts of anxiety and fear. Verse two gives us, gives a sense of a certain fretfulness, right? I talked about it with respect to labor, but it's also with respect to rest, that there is a fretfulness in the sleeplessness described for the family that does not have God building it. Again, they rise up early, they stay up late, not because they're encouraged in God's work, Jesus often rose up early and stayed up late, and the Apostle Paul often rose up early and stayed up late. But it was because he was encouraged in the work of the Lord, not because he was fretting and anxious and couldn't sleep and was all distressed and not knowing where everything was going. They do this because of anxiety, uncertainty about the future. They have no idea how things are going to turn out for them. But a family that is built by the Lord knows that because they are in God's hands, nothing's going to keep them from their goal. What's the goal again? God himself, to know the Lord. They can be in prison. They can be under torture. But more of God will be found through it. and at the last day, they will be with Him in paradise, enjoying His glory forever and ever, and able to live wholeheartedly for Him. They know that nothing can separate them from His love. That's why they're not anxious. Now, not that we might struggle with anxiousness if prison is threatened, or we're put in prison, or we're tortured, or things like that. We struggle with it, but we have at the bottom a restedness in the Lord, as a family that is being built by the Lord. Because that building doesn't stop if you end up in prison or you end up with big fines for following Christ or something like that. It's enhanced by that. It goes on. God, as we saw last week, He's not thwarted by such things in bringing about His purposes. In fact, He uses such things to bring about His purpose. So again, the family built by the Lord will be fruitful. and they will also be secure, trusting, resting in the Lord. And now thirdly, a family built by the Lord will be full of joy. This is in contrast to the one who does not have God building the house, who is said to eat the bread of sorrow. Okay, they labor and there's only sorrow. And no wonder with the two things we just saw. They're unfruitful and they're insecure because they have no idea where they're going. They're not finding out the greatness of the Lord. They have so little of value to really rejoice and live for. If you're not rejoicing and coming to know the Lord better, what are you rejoicing in? Some temporal thing that you get that's going to get old and moth-eaten and rusty? Verse 7 speaks of the happiness of the man who has his quiver full of godly children. Contrast with the sorrow of the world, they're going on in faith. If there is a lack of joy in the family that God is building, then they soon recover from that lack. They begin to stir one another up to rejoice in what God has done. and who God is and what they have learned of him and in the future that he has promised to them. There's so many things to bring forth joy, and we help each other in our trust of God. How can you lack joy when God is at work in you, when you're being fruitful and when you have true hope that you will fully see God at last and that you will dwell with him forever and that nothing can stop that? So what about your family? Is the Lord building your house? If not, I have already told you that this does not mean that he cannot build you. There can be an individual in an unbelieving house, to be sure. When Jesus was here, he had ungodliness in his own family. His brothers did not believe in him at first and they opposed him and stood against him. But it did not prevent him from going on in the will of God. He was still able to serve God. If you trust in the Lord, he will keep you and he will bless you. But look for a blessing in your family too, not just in your own life. In other words, everyone should desire to see their family blessed. Perhaps your past conduct has contributed to some of the problems in your family. Maybe you're the head of the home and you feel like you know that you have done much that has created the trouble. But there's nothing preventing you from coming to the Lord now. He receives you where you are, not where you could have been. He receives you where you are now, and you go forward from there, trusting in Him. He is merciful, and He will restore you, and perhaps He will restore your family too. He doesn't always do that. We think about David and how he deviated from the Lord, and it brought great trouble, great trouble to his family, and many of them never recovered. But David was able to go on in the Lord and he had faithful children that did go on with the Lord also. God is merciful. In any case, the restoration of your family is something to seek from him. Ask him to build your house. And by all means, if you're just starting out, see that he is governing you when you start out as a new family and see that you're trusting in him as a family. and you will be blessed. Do not let hardness and indifference set in to your household. Trust in Him with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths. You cannot build your house. Only God can build it. You labor in vain if you try to build without the Lord. Put yourself and your family in His hands. If you do, then you have reason for hope. Please stand and let's indeed call on the name of the Lord. Lord God, how we praise you for your word and how it instructs us. Father, when we hear these things, there's certainly a place for a lot of guilt, because we know if there's an area in which we have fallen short, it would be in this kind of area. But Father, we also know that you are merciful to us when we acknowledge our sin and when we come to you for forgiveness. We like to make excuses and try to justify ourselves. But when we come to you humbly and we ask you, O Lord, to work in our lives and to pardon us and to secure to us a future blessing, then we are coming to you in the right way. And so, Lord, we come saying, oh Lord, we realize from this psalm that unless you build a house, we labor in vain in trying to build it. We spin our wheels. We don't accomplish anything. We may stay up late and we may rise up early, but it will all be in vain unless you are building the house. And so we come looking to you, Lord, to keep the house and to build the house. We ask you, O Lord, that you would work in us in a powerful way. Give us faith that we may lean upon you, that we may call upon your name. And Father, that that would be evident by the way that we direct our affairs. We thank you for the work that you do in your people and how you wake us up, Lord. And even if we have blundered and failed and sinned against you, that you will pick us up right where we are and you will go on with us from there. We thank you that after David had committed adultery and murder and all the things that undid his household, that you came to him in your mercies and you restored him and you forgave his sin and he went on and served you for the rest of his life. though he had a broken family. And Father, we see that this is Your way, and we trust You, Lord, to do what You have spoken, what You have said, because You are our God. We lean on You. We rest in You. We submit to You. You are our Lord. You are our Master. We pray these things in Jesus' name. Amen. Let's sing the psalm that we just heard expounded to us. Psalm 127a. Be earnest in praying for one another and our families and for one another as families praying for other families. Ask the Lord for blessing in this way. The Lord's promised to those that fear him in Psalm 128, when you eat the labor of your hands, you shall be happy and it shall be well with you. Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine in the very heart of your house, your children like olive plants all around your table. So receive then the blessing that the Lord has in now Psalm 128. The Lord bless you out of Zion and may you see the good of Jerusalem all the days of your life. Yes, may you see your children's children. Peace be upon Israel. Amen.