Thank you for taking the time to listen to one of the recent messages from the pulpit of Wilton Baptist Church. We pray that this message is a blessing to you in your walk with Christ. big event day. We ministered to around 40 teenagers here at our Summer Spectacular, our Teen Youth Rally. We thank the Lord for that. Our evangelist that's being sent from our church, he did a great job delivering two really good messages to our teenagers. So pray for the young people that were here. We had maybe three or four other churches bring their teenagers. And so Thank you for good work. A lot of teamwork. A lot of you helped out with that and organizing and planning and doing the work. So good job. And at the same time, our church ministered to probably over a thousand people over at Gavin Park. And so we handed out over around 500 of these carabiners. There's 499 at least. Here's one of them. And I handed out hundreds of tracts and also hundreds of balloons that say, Jesus loves you on it. And so a lot of gospel tracts, invitations to church and really between both events, there was a great team effort. And I saw that it was a good spirit, everyone working together and representing Christ. And so really, really good job. So thank you for that. Next week, Pastor Bess is going to preach right here on Sunday morning and Sunday night. Hope you come back for that. And Natalie and I were taking our annual trip to see family, so we're looking forward to that. And a lot of people are traveling, so be praying for one another in these busy summer months. And again, welcome to the servitude today. Ephesians chapter 4 is our first passage. We'll look at another one in Galatians as well. We're looking at the one and others. and how to be a happy church member, part three is what we'll call this. And somebody once said that happiness is the child of obedience. Happiness is the child of obedience. So if there's something we know that God would have us to do and we don't do that, we're not obedient, we can't really be as happy as we would be because there would be some sense of guilt or shame or I'm not living up to the godly expectation that God has for me. So I like that statement. Happiness is a child of obedience. It's been said that 95% of all Christians have never led another person to Jesus Christ. 95% of us have never led another person in a sinner's prayer to believe on the Lord Jesus Christ in salvation. So either you're in the 95% or you're in the elite 5% who's done that. Which group are you in? the 5% or the 95%. That'd be an important thing to do. God tells us to tell others about Jesus. And so I hope that you're doing that. Even if you tell someone about the Lord and hand them a tract, doesn't mean they're always going to receive Jesus Christ as their Savior, but we should be doing that. We should be having our fishing line in the water, if you would, and share our faith with our friends and family and loved ones and the people at work and neighbors as well. Now, if that stat is true, 95% of us have never led someone to Jesus. I believe that many of us, maybe we've not led someone to Christ, but we've tried. Okay, we've tried. I hope that you've tried. You share the gospel with people. But if that stat is true, it could indicate that a lot of Christians don't really care about other people. Now, we're talking about the one and others in Scripture. There's eight negative one-anothers, what not to do. There's 22 positive one-anothers that we should do towards others. When it comes to humanity, mankind in general, we're to give the gospel, we're to preach the gospel around this world. Think about our young people and our children. Do you want your kids to be godlier, to be more like Christ? Get them around the Bible, share the gospel with them, get them around things like the youth rally yesterday. We have summer camp to teach our kids. We have weekly youth group, things like this. People do not become more godly on accident. We don't suddenly show up and, hey, I arrived, you know, I'm more like Jesus today. It's something every day. We want to be around more godly people. We want to give the Bible, impart the truth more to our children and to those around us. People do not become like Jesus on accident. Christian character requires our thinking and thinking more of others, thinking more of our kids, more of other people than our leisure, our work, or our play. We do not think of others by accident. That's what I was trying to get to. We don't just think of other people by accident. Well, you know, I'm other-centered instead of selfish-centered. That's not an accident, it's a choice. It's a focus of your heart. It's a decision of your mind and your life. I'm going to be thinking about other people. I'll think about my spouse. I'll think about my children. I'll be thinking of the co-workers. When it comes to church, I'll be thinking of the one another's in Scripture. And by the way, these one and others, as we open it to Ephesians 4.32, they can enhance every relationship in life. The church membership and our brothers and sisters in Christ, it also applies to our family and home and spouse. And you can apply it to the workplace, as we'll see also in a scripture today. I think about this photo. Can you advance? Is there a photo of some little birds here? Is there a photo? If it's working right, look at these little birds. Aww. These are baby robins at our house. Now, I've told you robin stories. This is a different set of robins. I think that we could probably become members of the Audubon Society. We have so many birds around our house. And so these birds are hungry for their robin parents to bring food to them. And boy, do they have big mouths. I was looking in there, getting up real close, and looking out for the mama bird to come back to attack. And wow, the skinny little scrawny necks. Now, they look pretty good right here, but before they were fuzzy, they still had these big mouths. They'd stick it up like that, just like this, and their bodies like that. And you know, they're hungry. Just like they're hungry for worms, we should be hungry for the Bible. And so I hope that you've come to church hungry for the Word of God. And then with that other centeredness that I can encourage others and help others with what we're going to learn here today. And definitely you can be a happy Christian and a happy church member as we've been looking. And Lord willing, for the next few weeks, we'll finish in the month of August. We'll have some prophecy type messages. But in the meantime, we'll just keep looking at these one another's in scripture. So the first one is this. Be kind. in Ephesians 4, verse 32. Be kind. Notice what the Bible says, and be kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God, for Christ's sake, hath forgiven you. be kind to one another. There was a church usher, and he was instructing a young usher, an usher in training, about the details of being an usher. And he said, remember my boy, he concluded that we have nothing but good, kind Christians in this church, unless you try to seat someone else in their chair. We need to be kind to everyone all the time. Kindness isn't something that's artificial, very shallow, niceness on the outside. It's not an unreal feeling of weakness or anything like that. It's nothing like that. Kindness is a truth or a characteristic that is a decision. I am going to be kind to someone. Now the phrase, ye kind, be ye kind, the word ye and kind, it's the same word there, it means to be employed. You may not have thought of that when you see the word kind. What Jesus is saying is, or what the Lord is saying here is to be kind, be employed at being kind. one to another. And it has to do with being gracious. It has to do with manner, your morals, how you're going to interact with other people. You could just summarize it this way. If I'm going to be kind to somebody, I'm going to leave them better off than when I first approached them or when I first met them. So I'm going to go see this person. I'm going to interact with them. I'll say something. They'll say something to me. I'll shake their hand. We'll do something together. I'm going to be kind to them. And because I'm being kind to them with whatever I'm doing, I'm going to leave them in a better state of mind, a better, a closer walk with God, a more encouraged state of being than when I first approached them. That's the result of being kind. Now, we're not always kind, are we? If that's the result, if that's what being kind is, I'm going to leave them better off than when I first saw them. We're not always like that. How are we kind to one another? Let's get some ideas for that. Verse 31 tells us, let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and evil speaking be put away from you with all malice. So being put away from you, put it off, like you take one set of clothing, you put it off, you put on a new set of clothing. The ideas in this chapter here, in chapter four, put on the new man, like in verse 24. So you're putting away, putting dirty laundry away, bad things away, and putting on something good, something that you're replacing it with, the replacement principle. We could have a whole lesson on that. But notice we should have useful thinking. Bitterness is something that's in your heart. Wrath and anger, things that you can communicate because you've been thinking that way about this person. I don't like this person. This person bothers me. This person annoys me. I don't want to be around this person. This person is no good. And if you're thinking like that around that person, or even before you get to that person, it makes it hard for you to be kind to that person. Okay, that waitress is slow, she messed up the order, and now I'm going to bite her head off. You can't be kind if you're thinking like that. Okay, I'm going to let him have it when he gets home from work. Okay, that's not thinking kind. It's hard to be kind to people if you're not thinking right in verse 31. You can't fulfill this one another if you're thinking the wrong way. Dan Reeves used to be the coach of the New York Giants, the football team. And he said, you can tell the character of a man by the way he treats those who can do nothing for him. If you're kind to people, even though they can't do something back for you, if you're nice to them, you're doing good things towards them, it tells a lot about your character. We need to have useful thinking to everyone around us. They are a person who loves God. or who God loves, rather. God loves that person. They are a person that I don't want to sin against. I don't want to sin against that person, even if they're unkind to me. I want to be kind to them. They are valuable to God. Put away evil thinking and actions towards others. Replace it with good. Now, there needs to be useful thinking. There also should be unequaled compassion. an equal compassion. Notice the word tender-hearted. It means sympathetic. Sympathetic. Are you sympathetic? Do you show sympathy to other people? Are you understanding? Somebody's telling you a story. This is what happened. This is what happened. I don't care what happened to you. Are you like that? Are you like that? Are you sympathetic? Are you understanding? Are you compassionate? Do you show consideration? Well, how do you feel? What do you think? What are your thoughts about this? Do you give the benefit of the doubt? Tenderhearted people give the benefit of the doubt. I know you probably had good intentions. This is the way it happened. You probably had good intentions, but I totally understand. I totally understand. Tenderhearted. Now, most people lack reasonable compassion. Have you noticed that in life? Most people lack reasonable compassion. Some people have more love for a stray animal than for a homeless person. All right? Now, I like animals. We have several animals at the house, but they're not near as valuable as a person. They're not near as important as real people, if you would. Some have more love for a baby elephant that dies and makes the headlines, but babies, children, people are killed every day. in abortion. There's still the shootings and things that take place. But those people who shoot people generally don't go shoot animals, right? They don't make headlines, but if an elephant was stranded, it sure would. I like animals too, but they're not near as important as people. Think of it this way. This makes it so easy to think about. Jesus died on the cross for people. He didn't die on the cross for animals. He didn't die on the cross for the tree. He didn't die on the cross for the mountains or the environment. He didn't die on the cross for any of that stuff. He died on the cross for your sins and mine. He died on the cross for us, humanity. That puts it in a proper perspective. And so we don't normally have the compassion, the tender heartedness that we should. There's a teacher who asked the pupils to tell the meaning of loving kindness. A little boy jumped up in the class and said, well, if I was hungry and someone gave me a piece of bread, that would be kindness. But if they put a little bit of jam on it, that would be loving kindness. You know, he really liked that. Now, we need to have loving kindness. We need to show this compassion, this sympathy to other people, even the people you don't like, even the people who should have known better. even to people who have totally messed up their own life because of wrong decisions. We should still have compassion for them. Don't people mess their lives up? Boy, they mess your lives up. Sin, wrong choices, show compassion. How about unlimited forgiveness? be kind with unlimited forgiveness. So be kind once to another, tenderhearted, that's connected to this kindness, and also forgiving one another, that's connected to genuine kindness, even as God, for Christ's sake, hath forgiven you. Now one reason there's a lack of compassion could be that we've been hurt by people. Dogs and cats are generally a lot easier to get along with, unless your dog jumps up and bites you in the face or something like that, your dog is pretty pretty good to get along with. And people generally get along with their animals a lot more. Why is it that it's hard to show compassion to other people then? A lot of times it's because we've been hurt by people. And we've chosen not to forgive. I'm not going to show compassion because I haven't forgiven them. I'm not going to show loving kindness to them because I have something against them I have not forgiven them. But notice how we're to forgive like Jesus forgave you. Are you a Christian today? Have you trusted the Lord Jesus Christ? God, for Christ's sake, has forgiven you. All of your sin, all of your wrong, the wrong thoughts, the wrong actions, the wrong attitudes, the wrong choices, the rebellion in your heart. You said, Lord, forgive me of my sin. I'm no longer rejecting Jesus. I'm accepting the gift of God, the grace of God. I'm believing in Jesus, what you did on the cross in salvation. You did the work for me. Would you forgive me my sin and save my soul? Just like that, you were saved. You were born again, and your sins, all of them, were forgiven. Past, present, and future. God looks at you as forgiven. Now, somebody may say, well, wow, what if I sin today? We will sin today. You will sin. Even following salvation, you're supposed to confess that sin. 1 John 1.9 tells us that. But from God's perspective, as He looks at your life, you're allowed into heaven because of the grace of God. Your sins are forgiven as you place your faith in Jesus and His finished work on the cross, His death, burial and resurrection. And so we should show forgiveness for Christ's sake, because God has forgiven you because of Jesus. we should forgive other people. Listen, friends, one of the greatest witnesses and testimonies for the lost people around you is to see a Christian who forgives people who hurt them. The boss who's a jerk to you and gives you a hard time, and you don't complain about it, you don't belittle, you don't talk down, you don't talk smack back to him, and you just say, I forgive you, I forgive you, and if people see that, that speaks volumes. How could you forgive that person for what they've done? He walked out on us. She ran away. This happened. This bad event took place. How could they forgive this person? The forgiveness of God for Christ's sake, because He's forgiven you. You can extend that forgiveness to others. You know, the people who are lost in this world do not understand true forgiveness because they haven't been forgiven by God. And it's unfathomable. How could you forget? This was terrible. How could you forgive this person? Because of the work of God in you, because you've been forgiven by God. So if you've not been saved, if you've not yet been forgiven by God, I encourage you today, trust Christ. Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ. And that's one reason we were handing out tracts yesterday, so that people would hear the gospel. That's why we need to be like that 5% who lead other people to the Lord Jesus Christ. If you haven't been saved today, trust Jesus. He loves you and wants to forgive you of your sin today. Well, think of this then. If we're going to be kind, with these three considerations, I am not a kind person if I'm not thinking right about other people. I'm talking about thinking accurately. I'm not thinking like verse 31 is. You know, I'm bitter against them. I have some wrath. I'm angry at them. I'm not a person who is kind if I'm not thinking right about other people. I am not a kind person if I have zero compassion on those people that are around me. And I am not a kind person if I am unforgiving. Doesn't it make sense? Okay, be kind, but if we have these three things in our life, we're not kind. So if that's true in your life, confess it to God. Lord, forgive me. I've been bitter. I've been angry. I haven't forgiven this person. And by the way, they don't deserve your forgiveness. That's not the point. You're supposed to forgive them anyway. Whether they ask for it or not, we'll come back to that idea in just a moment. And so be kind one to another. Number two, be submitting. Look in Ephesians chapter five. Just turn a page there, if you would, to verse 21. Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Submitting, be submitting. Now Paul's writing to the church members in a city called Ephesus. This was a city where Paul had lived for three years on one of his missionary travels. It was a major trading city, had lots of people, lots of big buildings. A lot of people would go there. It was a destination type place for trade and for business. It was known for its false idol and the large temple to the false goddess Diana. Diana it was in fact this temple was so large. It's one of the seven ancient wonders of the ancient world. One of the seven wonders of the ancient world. A massive complex, and as part of their worship of this false god, Diana, there was a lot of immoral sexual experience. It was ceremonial prostitution that was part of their worshiping this false god, Diana. It was in this culture that these Ephesian people lived in, and they would see these things happening all around them, and some of them were saved from that false cult and that false religion. Aren't you glad God can save you from any false religion. He can save you from any sin that is in your life. By the way, any sexual experience outside the bound of marriage is sin. But they were promoting that in Ephesus, promiscuity and unfaithfulness. All this is part of this worship to this false god of Diana. And so here, the book of Ephesians, Paul had left the people. He left Timothy there to be the pastor of the people. He went on to other places on his missionary journey. So now, after three years there, he's writing a letter back. to talk with them, to tell them how to keep going on and how to keep following Jesus in that pagan culture. And the Lord is teaching these people how to have healthy relationships with other people, therefore, the one another. We have several one another's in the book of Ephesians. And he's telling them in chapter five, in particular, how to have healthy relationships with people in the church, how to have healthy relationships with your husband and wife in the home and the family. Later on, how to have healthy relationships with your co-workers and the other people that are around you, even with your government and other people. And so how to have healthy relationships, we find that emphasized time and time again in the book of Ephesians. Now notice, if you would, how it all begins, verse 18 of chapter 5. He says, be not drunk with wine wherein is excess, but be filled with the Spirit. Be filled with the Spirit. Instead of letting something outside of your body like alcohol come in and inebriate you and change how you think and change how you function, change how you act, instead of being filled with wine or alcohol, you should be filled with the Holy Spirit of God. Let the Holy Spirit of God change how you think, how you act, how you talk. Let it control you. Instead of letting alcohol control you, let the Holy Spirit control you. That's what He's saying. And then He applies it to our relationships and to our life and to be filled with the Spirit of God. He continues by talking about singing good songs. in the next verse. And I believe like music therapy, I like that term music therapy, good music can help you think the right way. And so that's what he's talking about in the next verse, speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs and singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord. And then he talks about submission or submitting one to another. And then moving from church life, the word applies then, it's the same word for submission in the home in verses 22 through 23. So look in verse 21, submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God, wives, Submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and he is the Savior of the body. And so be submitting. The word submitting means to subordinate or to be under obedience, to put under, to put under, under obedience. I'm putting myself under obedience. For example, there are four times this word is used in the book of Ephesians, chapter one, verse 22. It's speaking about God the Father. God the Father has put all things under His feet. It's the same word for Semitic. He's put all things under His feet. Speaking about creation and Jesus, it's speaking He's put all things under the feet of Jesus and gave Him to be the head over all things through the church. Okay, all of creation is submissive to Jesus. God the Father made it that way. The church should be submissive to Jesus. We should be yielding our lives to Him. Then in chapter 5 verse 21, submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. in a church with one another, in a house to one another. Ephesians 5.22, wives, submit yourselves, same word, submitting unto your own husbands as unto the Lord. And then in verse 24, therefore, as the church is subject, it's the same word as submission or submitting unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. You get the idea that God has authority structure and submission structures and things such as that. The word submitting means to willingly place myself under the influence and leadership of another person. It's not the same idea as subjection. When people use the word subjection, I'm going to make them my subject or I want you to be subject to me. That is the idea of domination or overpowering or enslavement. I'm opposing this person. That's the idea of subjection. Submission is a lot different. I am willingly volunteering myself to put myself under your leadership and under your service. We freely love God. Isn't that true? We freely love God. Does God force us to love Him? No. He wants us to freely love Him. Does God force us to serve Him or to submit to Him? The answer is no. In this life, God gives us the opportunity to choose to say, yes, I love God, and yes, I'll serve God, or no, I don't love God, and no, I will not serve God. Now one day, every knee will bow and tongue will confess that Jesus is God's, the glory of God the Father. But we have the opportunity. God wants us to freely love him, and he wants us to freely serve him. Man, when your wife married you, you were probably more of a slob than you thought, by the way. You probably had a lot of areas that you needed to work on in a relationship. Some of you were like, no, not me. You needed a lot of help, but she willingly She willingly married him. Okay. Hey, by the way, guys, when I'm saying that I'm talking to myself. You can laugh at that. Ladies, I thought you'd be cheering like, yeah, you really needed some help. You know, it's okay to interact and chuckle and things like that. Bible submission is based on love and respect. Look at verse 33. Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular, so love his wife, even as himself and the wife see that she reverence her husband. Now, there's a mutual submission in life and in marriage. Now, there should only be one head. There's only one head of the church. There's one who makes that final decision and that final call. If both people are fighting for, this is my decision and my choice, and I'm going to fight you to the end until you agree with my choice, both people lose. Okay? Both people lose. If you're fighting all the time, you're both losing. I'm getting my way. You're both losing. You're both losing if you're fighting like that. Men, understand this today, you need to love your wife. Verse 29 says, love by cherishing her. You're going to have this mutual type of love and this mutual service together. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth it even as the Lord, the church. Cherish your wife, just like Jesus cherishes the church. Value her above every other human relationship. She is more important than the kids. She is more important than the boss. She is more important than the clients that you have. Treasure her companionship. She dropped every other suitor for you. She dropped every other person, every other man who could have come along. She dropped that person. She didn't have any attention for them. She gave all of her attention to you. Guys, you should be thankful for that. All right? You don't deserve that. She dropped everything in her life to say I do to you. I'm being hard on you guys for a moment. All right. She did that because she loves you. And you owe it to her and you owe it to God to love her and to cherish her. You need to treasure her companionship. Cherish her so much that her kids can see what a man should be. that her kids could see in your life what a man should be and how a man should treat his wife and how a wife would interact with a husband and how a man should work hard and be a good role model and all those things. I think it's a tragedy. I think it's terrible. But a lot of women feel like they have to find another man to show their kids how to be a man. Dad's angry all the time. Dad's upset all the time. Dad's never home all the time. He does this. He does that. He drinks this. He does this. And he's not a good role model. He's not a good example. Men, they shouldn't have to look any further than your house for how a man should be. You need to cherish your wife. Cherish your spouse. Be that good role model. This is what you should look for, daughters, in a man. This is what you should look for whenever you go to get married. You should be that role model. Your sons, your sons, this is how you should be. Think of it that way. And you do that all by cherishing your wife. The greatest thing you could do, man, is love the mama of those kids. That's it. You do that the best that you can. God will bless your home. They'll have a good example to follow. Now, love by caring for her, verse 23. If you're married or hope to be married, all this is good truth for you. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior. He's the Savior of the body. Who's the head? Jesus is the head. He provides salvation for the body. He takes care of the body. I encourage you men, provide for your wife. I don't believe a wife should feel like I have to work to pay the bills, or I have to work because he don't want to work. I don't think a wife should feel like that. Man, you should provide. It's all right if the wife wants to work, but she shouldn't feel like I'm the only one who's doing this. And you want to provide for your spouse. The man should be doing everything that he can. By the way, here's some good financial sense. Live on one income instead of two. put the rest of the money away in savings, give it to other people, pay off the house earlier, all of those types of things. And so if you're both working, that's just one of those by the ways that makes good viable financial sense. Live off one income of one partner there and use the rest for other things. Number two, protect her. So provide for her, protect her. How about physical safety? Try to ensure safety of the wife and everything from where you go to locking the doors, making sure your house is safe, everything is secure. All of those things are important. How about emotional safety? Your wife needs to know that emotionally, it's a safe place. If you're telling her secrets in her heart to other people, that won't make for emotional safety in her mind. And so you protect that. Also, men, be a listening ear. Your wife should never feel like, I need to find someone else to listen to me because he doesn't want to listen to me. Maybe she's talking a lot. And maybe miss whoever you are, maybe you need to talk a little bit less, but listen to this. Men, you need to listen. You need to be the emotional support that she needs, that way she knows I'm cherished, I feel safe in our relationship. And men, here's just some really good common sense advice. Turn that phone off. Yeah, just turn it off. Stop playing games, stop fooling around. Other people, it doesn't matter what they're doing on Facebook. You can't live their life anyway. You live your life. You open up your ears. You turn off the phone and listen to your wife. Women, what do you say? What do you say to that? Amen for that? Okay. Yeah. Get rid of that self. Oh, wow. So you want to protect her that way. Promote her. Your words should be constantly affirming and supportive of her. You should say something like this. You look good today. Look good today. I like that hairstyle. Here's something. I'm not very sappy. I'm not very sappy. I'm sorry, Natalie. I'm not very sappy. But she's absolutely amazing, just so that you know. And I'm not that sappy. But you could say something like, I don't know what I would do without you. You could say things like that on the spot. And make sure whenever she says things to you that you're encouraging. Oh, I think I'm gaining weight. Oh, let me tell you, you really are. I want to help you with that. Yeah. Okay? You want to take away from those securities, not add to those insecurities. And so you want to protect her, you want to promote her. Your words should be constantly affirming. and supportive of her. You love her by sacrificing for her. In verse 25, husbands, love your wives even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself. He gave himself for her. He made a sacrifice. That's the sacrificial love of God. God says to love this agape love, God's love for us. We're to show this type of love to our spouses as well. And so love by sacrificing, that generous, that giving, that selfless, sacrificial type love. And I believe the Bible emphasizes it twice in this chapter, at least in another place, to the men in particular, in a husband-wife relationship, men are called out. Men, love your wives. Only one time does it tell the women to love their wives. It's in Titus where it says the older women are to teach the younger women how to love their husbands. But for the men, we're called out at least three times. Men, you need to love your wife. And men, it's something that God wants. A lot of times, we're selfish. A lot of times, we're the big babies. We tend to be the most selfish in marriage. Sometimes I'll sit down with people, and I'll talk with them, and I'll hear a man accounting all the things that he's done for his wife, and he keeps a list. I did this, I did this, and I did this. And he expects something reciprocal, like, and what did you do for me? You know what? Kids, little kids keep a list. Men just keep giving. I'll keep giving, I'll keep giving, and I'll keep giving. That's a choice. Kids keep a list. I gave you something, what are you going to give me? Kids do that. Men in the relationship just keep giving. You love by sacrificing for her. Let God keep the list. You keep sacrificing. You let God keep that list. Wives, then, respect your husband. Your wife needs to know that you love her, do that, show that. Wives respect your husband. This is the one another here as well, verse 24. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be subject to their own husbands and everything. And then the husbands are to love their wives. So wives subject or showing this respect, like verse 33 says, see that the wife, see that she reverence, as the English term, which has to do with showing this tremendous respect for your husband. Ladies, your man needs to know that you respect him. God gave him a leadership position. He's a leader, not for you to serve him as much, but that he would serve you. He's serving you. He shows love by serving you. And you should respect that. He's not a Lord to be worshipped, but a leader to serve you. And God wants you to love him like he's to be loved in Titus 2, 4. The older women are teaching the younger to love their husbands. And again, love is a choice. I'm going to choose love. He's been a bum. He's been a fool. He's played the idiot so many times. I don't know what to do. Love is a choice. Love is a choice. Keep loving. God wants you to stay with him. You can live until death do us part. Romans 7 verses 2 and 3 speak about this. In most cases, ladies, you will probably, in most cases, you will probably outlive your husband. Now, I always need to throw this in because of the the era that we live in and the way that relationships are today, sometimes there are severe cases of hardship and abuse, and those things must be dealt with in a biblical way. And I encourage you, please stay away from someone who is violent and angry and abusive and get immediate help. You should do that. But it is possible that till death do us part. It is possible. Get the help that you need if you need that, for sure. Be kind, be submitting one to another. And finally this, be forgiving. Oh, if we could just spend the rest of the time on this, Colossians chapter 3, turn a few pages if you would. Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians, there's Colossians chapter 3 and verse 13. Notice the word again, forbearing. Something we looked at briefly last week. Forbearing, here it is, one another. And forgiving, wait a minute, forgiving one another. There's two forgiveness or two one another's here. If any man have a quarrel against any, even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. On the way home one night, a man was spotted with some fresh cut roses outside a florist shop. And he saw those, and he stopped, and he went in, and he picked up some roses, and he was greeted by a young saleswoman. And she said, are these for your wife, sir? He said, yes, they sure are. Is it her birthday? No, no, it's not her birthday. Is it for your anniversary? No, no, it's not for your anniversary. He paid for the flowers. He started to walk out, and she shouted to him, I hope she forgives you. He picked out a really nice bouquet of flowers there. We need to be forgiving of other people. Now, the word forbearing means to hold oneself up against, to put up with, to endure. Forbearing one another means to restrain your natural reaction towards odd or difficult people, to let them be themselves, to forgive them. Whether it's grievances or something else that you may have against someone else, that's what we're supposed to do, to put up with other people, to bear their problems, their likes, their dislikes, their quirks, all of these things. Forbearing is the practical aspect of being patient with other people. And by the way, we can be forgiving and forbearing with unlovable people because that's what God's done with us. We're certainly unlovable people, but God still chooses to love us and to forbear with us and to forgive us. Now, sin can always be dealt with in love as we forbear with other people. I encourage you to be patient with others like you would have them to be patient with you. Very quickly, what is forgiveness? Forgiveness is not the same thing as forgetting. Here's a couple of verses. Write these down if you would. Hebrews 8, verse 12 and Hebrews 10, verse 17. These are some of my favorite verses about God in all the Bible and about forgiveness in all of Scripture. Because the Bible tells us here, I'll read Hebrews chapter 10, verse 17. Here's God. God is infinite. He's omniscient. He knows everything. He can never forget. But here's what God says about himself. Their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more. God never forgets, but he doesn't actively think about our sin because we're covered and cleansed by the blood of Jesus Christ. Isn't that good news? That's great news. That's some of the best news in all the world. Now, when it comes to our relationships, we need to be more God-like when it comes to this forgiveness. Forgiveness is not forgetting. There'll be some things that happen in your life you'll never forget. You'll never forget. But you shouldn't keep thinking about it. I will remember no more. There's things in my life that I'll never forget, but I don't have to keep replaying it. I don't have to back up the DVD in my mind and play it again and play it again. and play it again. Listen, that causes for a lot of emotional and spiritual issues because we don't know how to forget. Forgiveness is not the same thing as forgetting. You'll never forget, but you can choose not to keep thinking about it. And God chooses not to keep thinking about our sin. We're thankful for that. We should extend that to other people in our lives. What a benefit that is for us as well. Stop allowing bad experiences, bad past experiences to make life bitter for you today. I was at a gas station recently, and the attendant there behind the counter, she was saying, you know, I'm living with my boyfriend 12 years now, and there's no way in the world I'd marry him, but she's living as if husband and wife already, you know, and no way in the world. He's offered to marry me 40 times, and she's saying how bad marriage would be because, you know, and then she started talking about finances and money, and she said, yeah, you know, I don't want to have to pay the government, and I don't want to buy a big wedding, And there's too many other people that are supposed to say, hey, weddings don't have to cost a lot. And I'd love to help you talk through some of these issues, because she had some obvious issues and misunderstandings about life. But she had some bad past experiences that she was basing this idea on. Well, I'm number eight of 15 kids and all this. And she was saying all these different things. And my heart went out for this person, because she was allowing bad past experiences to influence her choices today. And we shouldn't be like that. We should learn how to forgive. Forgiveness is not the same thing as forgetting. Forgiveness is not trusting. When you forgive, it does not mean that you will put yourself in a dangerous situation again. For example, please forgive me. I'll come home. Well, you said you'd never do it again. And so, you know, this situation will never unfold again. I believe him because I forgive him. It's not the same thing. It's not the same thing. You can forgive someone, but it doesn't mean you put yourself in the line of firing. until they've proven themselves trustworthy. Changed. Different. I have new habits. I have a new lifestyle because of what took place. I'm asking God to change me. Please forgive me and come home. Hey, after abuse or something like that happens, there must be established measurement marks over a period of months, maybe even years, before you put yourself in a dangerous situation. You need a counselor, mediator to help with things like that. Forgiveness is not trusting immediately. Forgiveness is not something that is earned. We tend to think that, you know, if they ask forgiveness or if they do such and such, then I'll forgive them. It has nothing to do with that. Notice the word forgiveness here. Forgive means to grant a favor. That's what it means. I'm going to grant them a favor. I'm going to pardon them. They sinned against me. They hurt me. They said this. They left me stranded. All these different problems that took place. I don't, they don't, I don't owe it to them because of something good they've done, but I'm going to grant them a pardon. I'm going to give them a favor. I will forgive them. Pardon. Pardon is such a good characteristic in the Christian life. Forgiveness is a choice of the heart to release a person in your mind from their transgression from the expectation that you placed on them for a violation they've committed against you. Ephesians 4.32, look at it back there again if you would. How we're to forgive and be kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God, for Christ's sake, has forgiven you. God, for the sake of Jesus, forgave us. And so we, in the name of Jesus, can forgive a spouse who hurt us, a parent who neglected us, a child who hurt us, a co-worker, a family member, somebody at church, a friend, we can forgive too because God has forgiven us and God expects us to forgive others. How do I forgive like Jesus? Think of this. Forgive like Jesus. What if Jesus said this? Find the men who whip my back to shreds and let them know I love them. Go to the man who spit in my face. and tell him I love him. Locate the man who thrust the spear into my side and tell him that I love him and I forgive him. Tell the people who were condemning me to death, they were condemning and shouting at me, tell them I love them and I died on the cross so that they could go to heaven. That's how you forgive. You forgive like Jesus. We should communicate that forgiveness. If a disagreement is spoken about, it's well known, you should communicate forgiveness. Feel free to talk about forgiveness to a person like that. Don't wait for someone to, well, they didn't ask for forgiveness, so I'm not going to forgive them. No, it has nothing to do with that. It has nothing to do with that. You should forgive someone a long time before they ever ask forgiveness. You forgive for the sake of Jesus Christ. He's forgiven you. You forgive them. It should be communicated. Even Jesus on the cross communicated it. He said, Father, before everybody, He said, Father, forgive them. Forgive them for they know not what they do. Jesus forgives us. We should forgive others. And by the way, Be humble enough to ask for forgiveness whenever you sin against God. Don't just say, I'm sorry. When you sin against somebody else, don't just say, I'm sorry. Go ahead and make it a little bit longer of a request and say, would you please forgive me? In 1 John 1.9, we're to confess our sins. He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. And so friends, let's be a forgiving people. Let's be kind to one another. Let's be submissive one to another. Remember back in the 70s, Watergate? I can't actually say I remember. I wasn't around. I'm sorry. But I've read the history books and I've looked at the videos and things. But you remember Watergate. It tore America apart in the 70s. President Richard Nixon had resigned in disgrace. There was a new president, Gerald Ford. and he granted Nixon a full and free absolute pardon. Many Americans struggled with that decision. President Ford did the very thing that God wants us to do when someone hurts us so that we could forgive someone and then move on with life. In a portion of Ford's statement, here's what he said. He said, my conscience tells me clearly and certainly that I cannot prolong the bad dreams that continue to reopen a chapter that has been closed. My conscience tells me that only I as president have the constitutional power to firmly shut and seal this book. He did what a lot of people were unwilling to do. He said, I'm going to completely forgive this, close the chapter. There's a new president anyway. We're just going to stay. That's what forgiveness can do. Let's be kind to one another. Let's be submissive one to another. And let's be forgiving. Let's bow together in prayer. Thank you for your good attention, good participation in the service here today. How is it that God has worked in your hearts and lives? Are you kind? Are you kind? If you're saying things and thinking wrong about people, you're not kind. If you're not showing compassion and not forgiving to other people, there's something that you have in your hearts and bitterness that hasn't been pulled out. You're not being kind like God wants you to be kind. Confess that to God today. He'll forgive you. Are you submissive in the home? Are you submissive in church life? Are you submissive in the workplace? Are you submissive in your life? Or is there that rebellious spirit? Men, are you loving your wives? Ladies, are you showing that reverence, that respect for your husband? Teenage men, do you wife need to know she's loved? Perhaps it's forgiveness. Are you showing forgiveness for the sake of Jesus Christ, our Lord? If there's something you're holding on to, give it to the Lord Jesus Christ today. Take it to the cross today. Confess it to him. In this time, we call this an invitation. And with our heads bowed and our eyes closed, it's time for you to respond. Whatever the need is, would you give that to God today and pray to him and make a decision all to the honor and glory of God. Father, we pray now that you bless us. We respond to your word and your Holy Spirit, we ask in Jesus' name. Amen. Would you please stand if Candace is playing?