Screenwriters love to write monologues for movies, but many of those monologues end up on the cutting room floor, because they tend to bring the action to a halt, and screen time is just too precious for these long-winded speeches. But last summer, the highest-grossing movie of the year, Barbie, contained a monologue that was quite long, but very memorable. And it goes like this. It is literally impossible to be a woman. You have to be thin, but not too thin, and you can never say you want to be thin. You have to say you want to be healthy, but also you have to be thin. You have to have money, but you can't ask for money because that's crass. You have to be a boss, but you can't be mean. You have to lead, but you can't squash other people's ideas. You're supposed to love being a mother, but don't talk about your kids all the time. You have to be a career woman, but also always be looking out for other people. You're supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you're supposed to be part of the sisterhood. but always stand out and always be grateful. You have to never get old, never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never fall down, never fail, never show fear, never get out of line. It's too hard. It's too contradictory. And nobody gives you a medal or says thank you. And it turns out, in fact, that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also everything is your fault. Well, of course, your mileage may vary concerning that speech. Some of you ladies, you may not identify with that. That may not be your experience. Others of you are probably saying, preach! Amen. Well, it's interesting that our culture has been having a conversation about women's roles and men's roles for a long time. And that conversation is not slowing down, especially going forward this year as a woman is running for president. A woman who is a stepmother, but not a biological mother. Who is strong, but is she too strong? Who is ambitious and a leader, but is she looking out for other people? Well, I'm not going to answer those questions for you. I'm definitely not going to tell you who to vote for. But, Christians, we have our own monologue, so to speak. Our own vision of what a woman ought to be like, and what a woman's world is like. And we find it in Proverbs chapter 31. Now when I, just the mention of Proverbs 31 I know makes some of you just maybe shudder. Because the Proverbs 31 woman has become known, it's kind of Christian shorthand for perfect, right? The Proverbs 31 woman, she always looks perfect. Her house is perfect, her children are perfect, right? She probably always has a pitcher of sweet tea ready for anybody who drops by the house. And I've heard from numerous women that comparing themselves to the Proverbs 31 woman is not only humbling, but can be a source of shame and with feelings of inadequacy. Well, we're gonna tread. We're gonna go where angels fear to tread. We're gonna read Proverbs 31. And I want to ask this question. Is this a standard? Is what we're getting here a standard by which all women need to be, have to be judged? Or is maybe something else going on here that may lead to feelings other than shame and inadequacy? So if you were able, please stand for this reading of God's Word. This is another kind of long reading. You will get extra crowns in heaven if we're going through this. Here we go. She seeks wool and flax and works with willing hands. She's like the ships of the merchant. She brings her food from afar. She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens. She considers a field and buys it. With the fruit of her hands, she plants a vineyard. She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong. She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night. She puts her hands to the distaff and her hands hold the spindle. She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy. She's not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet. She makes bed coverings for herself. Her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them. She delivers sashes to the merchant. Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed, her husband also, and he praises her. Many women have done excellently, but you surpassed them all. Charm is deceitful, beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her the fruit of her hands and let her works praise her in the gates. This is God's word for God's people and for the good of the world. Please be seated. The book of Proverbs begins with a king instructing his son to choose wisely between two women who are competing for his attention. There's Lady Folly and Lady Wisdom. And throughout the book, especially in chapters 1 through 9, this king, this father is telling his son, look out, watch out for Lady Folly. She may seem enticing, but she wants to destroy you. Look instead to Lady Wisdom. And in some ways, when we get to chapter 31, the very final chapter of the book, we find that the prince has chosen well. He has made Lady Wisdom his bride. Now, something about this passage that's not obvious from our English translation is that it's a poem, right? And it is what's called an acrostic, which means that every phrase begins with a different letter, a successive letter of the alphabet. This is kind of an effective rhetorical device. Husbands, if you don't know what to write on your wife's birthday card, try an acrostic, right? A for amazing, B for beautiful, C for caring, D for delightful, and on and on. And the writer here goes through all 22 letters of the Hebrew alphabet in Proverbs 31 in succession. This is kind of the A to Z praise of a woman who fears the Lord. And we need to recognize that, yes, in some ways this is an ideal. a model, a hero to look to. And one of the greatest modern Old Testament scholars, Bruce Waltke, he argues that this passage is written in the same form as some other of Israel's heroic poetry. He says this, he says that heroic poetry is characterized by recounting the Hebrews' mighty deeds, usually his military exploits. And the goal of heroic poetry is to extol the hero's virtues, right? But it doesn't give a complete picture of that person, right? In Judges chapter 5, Actually, chapter 4, we read about Jael, who is an Israelite woman, and Sisera is the leader of Canaan's armies who are fighting against Israel, and he happens to come upon her tent, and he goes to sleep in her tent, and she takes a tent peg and drives it through his temple. and sort of helps rescue Israel from this foreign army. And so, and then in Judges 5, we get a song that recounts her deeds. And starts like this, most blessed of women be jail. And she's a hero, right? But it doesn't talk about how maybe she burned the bread that morning, or She was short with her children. No, it focuses all on her virtues, the wonderful things that she did. And so the Proverbs 31 woman is a hero of sorts, doing battle in everyday life. But I think the wrong way to approach preaching or teaching this passage is to use it to argue for one's side or other of the culture war. And that's how I've sometimes heard it be preached or taught, right? To look at the verses that talk about how maybe she works in the home and to say, see, men should be the hunter-gatherers and women should be working in the home and doing the cooking and cleaning. Or to take the verses that talk about her as maybe a businesswoman and say, see, women can have a career and a family. They can have it all. Both of those approaches are mainly interested in culturally constructed views of gender. Right? Both of those approaches allow the world to set the agenda, rather than to allow God to set the agenda, for what we are learning here. The better approach, in my view, is to view this woman, and all men and women, through a theological lens. Right? In relationship to God. To ask the question, how does the fact that we are made in God's image determine who we were made to be as men and women? Genesis 127 says this, says, It's really interesting. that after saying that God created man in his image, Moses takes the time to say that he created us male and female. And so, evidently, there are aspects of God that are uniquely found in men, and there are aspects of God that are uniquely found in women. Both genders are made in the image of God. Some the same ways, some in different ways. And so, as we look at this Proverbs 31 woman, I wanna look at how does she not so much speak to the culture she's in or to our culture, but how does she emulate God? How does she emulate our Trinitarian God? In fact, I think a good nickname for her is the God-shaped woman. Because she seems not worried about conforming to other people's expectations for her. She is only worried about pleasing God and conforming to His image. And as long as you are emulating God, you are doing well, no matter what the culture tells you. So, the first way she emulates God, we're gonna, it's gonna be three points, they're gonna be fairly quick, I promise. First way she emulates God is that she is strong like God the Father. There's a couple of verses that talk about her strength. Verse 17, she dresses herself with strength, makes her arms strong. Verse 25 says strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. The picture we get here is of a woman who not only is physically strong, but is emotionally and spiritually strong. She's able to handle hard physical labor. but she's also consistent and steady as a person. She is a rock for her family to stand on. This description reminds me of Psalm 46. It says this, it says, God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore, we will not fear, though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea. God, God the Father, is strong, and we get our strength from Him. And the God-shaped woman is secure in her trust in a sovereign God. She's not afraid of the future. She laughs at what is to come. And so we see this woman who is strong internally through her faith, and she is also strong in making herself strong externally to carry out her strong faith. Now, I think some men are worried that if they marry strong women, that that will somehow make them weaker. But that is not the way that God designed relationships. Because God designed marriage actually to be two complementary strengths to come along once one another. Different, but complementary. And as the passage puts it here, a strong wife strengthens her husband. In verse 11, her substance, her strength, are a source of gain to him, not a source of loss. And so a godly husband should not consider a strong wife a threat, but rather an enhancement of his own strength. She may challenge him, but if they're both walking with the Lord, it's going to be a good challenge that will help him be better, grow stronger in the Lord. Remember last week's sermon, faithful are the wounds of a friend. And conversely, we see in verse 23 that a strong, respectable husband has a good impact on his wife as well. And so the God-shaped woman is strong like God the Father. But she is also generous like God the Son. Verse 20 says that she opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy. The picture we get here is of a woman who's had her needs met ultimately by God, and so she is very focused on meeting the needs of her household, of her husband, her children, probably servants in her household. But she also goes beyond her household and looks to the community, and looks to see who in the community needs help. True generosity really begins with knowing that God has been exceedingly generous to us. The Apostle Paul says that Jesus, though he was rich, yet for your sake he became poor so that you by his poverty might become rich. What does that mean? Jesus, though he was rich, became poor. It means that Jesus gave everything that he had, his throne, his dignity, his life, everything, in order to save us out of spiritual poverty and to give us all of the riches of the gospel. Eternal life, forgiveness, righteousness, sonship, all of those things. And so the natural response to God's generosity to us is to be generous with others. Proverbs 14 says, blessed is he who is generous to the poor. Proverbs 19 says, whoever is generous to the poor lends to the Lord and he will repay him for his deed. Now, giving to the poor doesn't always necessarily mean financial. It says that she opens her hands, reaches out her hands in the needy. That may mean giving money, but it also may imply relationship, reaching out your hand in friendship. Mother Teresa once said the hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread. And the most terrible poverty is loneliness and the feeling of being unloved. So being generous doesn't mean that you have to necessarily give to everyone who asks of you, but it does mean that we should give love and respect to all people, particularly those who need it the most. And so the God-shaped woman, she is strong, she is generous, and finally, she is industrious, like God the Holy Spirit. Now most of this passage is about how efficient and industrious this woman is. And it's interesting, we don't really learn about her spiritual life at all, do we? It doesn't tell us that whether she reads the Bible, right? It doesn't tell us that she teaches Sunday school or is a prayer warrior. The only thing that really we learn about her, aside from some inferences, is that she fears the Lord. And she does these things out of her fear of the Lord. But the overarching picture of this woman is someone who gets stuff done, right? When there's work to be done, she puts her head down and she gets the job done. And she looked at all the things she does. She makes clothes and food and bed coverings. She buys property. She plants a vineyard, makes wine. She sells clothes, trades for food at the market. She teaches and takes care of her children. This is a picture, I preached a sermon not too long ago about time management. This is a woman who is redeeming the time while there is still time, making the most of her time. Well, the third person of the Trinity, the Holy Spirit, may be the most misunderstood person of God. He is, in some ways, like a deacon. a servant serving in the background. Jesus says that, in John 16, that He, the Holy Spirit, will glorify Me, for He will take what is Mine and declare it to you. The work of the Holy Spirit, in many ways, is to glorify Jesus, to put the spotlight on Him for us. And to do that, the Holy Spirit does many things. His work includes conviction of sin, Regeneration. Assurance of salvation. Enlightenment. Transformation. Gifting us. Empowering us. Counseling us. Helping us. The Holy Spirit is working all the time. Even when we are not aware of it. He is working in your life. 24-7. Working to sanctify you. To help you to know Jesus more. And again, the God-shaped woman here seems to be doing just that, working. Verse 18 says, her lamp does not go out at night. The implication is that she never sleeps, which of course is physically impossible. But the bigger picture is that she has work to do. She does what needs to do to get it done. I love that phrase, she does not eat the bread of idleness. Right? God has prepared works for us to do. And the Holy Spirit empowers us, enables us to do them. All right. Well, we've gotten to the end of our outline. Let's go a little bit further, and let's ask a question that some of you may be asking. And it sounds a little bit like this. Well, this Proverbs 31 woman, she's sort of a specific person, right? She's married. She seems to be pretty wealthy. She might even be a queen, the wife of King Lemuel. And so, if that is who she is, does that mean that if you are not married, you are not wealthy, that you are sort of released from this picture, from being a Proverbs 31 woman? Or maybe, to put it more personally, right, my younger daughter who is married, can she be a Proverbs 31 woman? But my older daughter who's not married, can she not be? Well, my answer would be no. Right? You don't have to be married. You don't have to be wealthy to learn from and be like this woman. In fact, I would say that any woman can learn from this passage. In fact, I would take it a step further and say that any man can learn from this as well. Because ultimately, this passage is about stewardship. And the underlining question it is asking us is, are you stewarding your world? What is stewardship? We did a whole sermon series on it recently. We said that it's the managing of the resources that God has given you. Your time, your talents, your influence. And that is ultimately what we see the God-shaped woman here in Proverbs 31 doing. She's taking care of everything that God has given her to take care of. Her family, her family's money, her artistic and business gifts, her household. She is making sure to be a good steward of it all. And in that stewardship series, Ricky preached a sermon on the parable of the talents, which is a story that Jesus tells about three servants who are given money by their master who goes on a journey. And two of the servants put that money to use and get a return on it, but one doesn't do anything with it. And the master comes back and is very angry with him. And if the Proverbs 31 woman were in the parable of the talents, she would be the one who was given the biggest amount, the five talents. Right? And she would be the one who put it to use and got a hundred percent return on her investment. And that may be you. You may have been given five talents. You may have been given two talents or one talent. But no matter what God has given you to steward, work hard to steward it. The point of the passage is not that you have to do everything that this woman does, right? You have to live up to her example. No, the point of the passage is you just have to steward your world. Whatever God has given you to do. And let's recognize that women have different callings. Some are called to work primarily in the home. Some are called to work primarily outside of the home. And it's so easy to critique and criticize the person who doesn't look like you. Let's call a truce. Right? Let's be secure. Let every woman fulfill the calling that God has given her. Let's be secure enough in our own callings that we don't have to criticize someone else's. And at the end of the day, if you don't—if you feel like you're failing in the various areas of responsibility God has given you, remember a couple of things. Number one, know that we all feel that way sometimes. Right? Again. This is a heroic poem. I'm sure there were times when this woman burned the bread, right? And when she—there were days when her children did not rise up and call her blessed, right? Even the best mothers. But number two, know that Jesus is the ultimate steward who will perfect your work if you are in the kingdom, right? Adam was the original steward, given dominion over all creation to care for it, to make it flourish. But Adam failed in his role as a steward by rebelling against God, and he was driven out of the garden. But where Adam failed, Jesus succeeded by obeying God. And God has now put him in charge of everything. When he ascended into heaven, he now has authority over all heaven and earth. And He gives us His church authority. He gives us stewardship, and calls us to be good stewards, each in his or her own sphere of influence. So whatever God has called you to manage, whether it's a household, or a career, or a business, or a school, or a church, do it all as unto the Lord, as though He were your only boss. And as you do, as we do God's will on earth, as it is in heaven, the kingdom will advance. Let's pray. Father, we recognize that our lives are not just following our hearts, not just following the whims of fate, but our lives are about figuring out where you have called us to serve and what you have called us to do with our lives, where you have gifted us and where you have given us stewardship. And Father, we pray that you would help us to be good stewards as this woman in Proverbs 31 was a good steward. And Lord, help us to be encouragers to one another, to speak the truth in love, and to remember that Jesus is our ultimate model, that He is our ultimate hero, who did things that we could not do. That we can, yes, we can be like Him. We can do things that He did, but we cannot be the Savior of the world. Only He is. And so you have saved us, and for that we are grateful. And we pray this all in the name of Jesus. Amen.