You know, I had, when I started this study last week, I had the notes all the way through Mr. Worldly Wiseman. And, you know, I try not to make these lectures too long, especially with Bill and Shannon in the audience, so that I'm not wearing anybody out. In 2017 when I taught this before I didn't teach on Mr. Worldly Wiseman and I've decided to pass by that and stick to some of the main characters and events in Pilgrim's Progress and I thought the reasoning for that is we've already spent two pretty detailed studies of the awakening of Christian and the conversion of different people. In John Bunyan's case, grace abounding to the chief of sinners. So I'm going to go right to the Wicked Gate and I will read the context. The Wicked Gate and an overview of Pilgrim's progress on the subject of perseverance. So I'm going to talk about the Wicked Gate, talk about couple of people's conversion and then park a little bit and then look at the importance of looking at the Christian life as a journey and a necessity of perseverance because we tend to think that we get into the straight gate and then from forget that it's a narrow way afterwards and we need to remember that this same urgency with which you press in to the kingdom and enter in at the straight gate and in the Greek of course it says agonized to enter is what it really means into the English. So in the process of time Christian got up to the gate. Now over the gate there was written a sign that said knock and it shall be open to you at last there came a great person to the gate named goodwill who asked who was there and whence he came and what he would have and christian said here is a poor burden sinner i come from the city of destruction but i am going to mount zion that i may be delivered from the wrath to come i would therefore sir since i am informed that by this gate is a way there. Know if you are willing to let me in, and good will says I am willing with all my heart. John 6 37, hymn that comes to me, I will in no wise cast out. And with that, he opened the gate. Now listen to this. So when Christian was stepping in, goodwill gave him a pull. Then said Christian, what means that? And the other told him a little distance from this gate, there is erected a strong castle. of which Beelzebub is the captain. From thence both he and them that are with him shoot arrows at those that come up to this gate, if perchance or if happily they may die before they could enter in." And then Christian said, I rejoice and tremble. And if you've been or know people who have been under an extensive awakening and are not having a clear path and many objections come into their mind about perhaps I'm coming to Jesus Christ wrong or I'm not one of the elect or A very common sin that you hear of, trouble anyway, it isn't a sin, it's a delusion, is people will fear that they have committed the unpardonable sin and therefore God won't listen to them. And the devil, boy, if there is a arrow that comes from Beelzebub to try to stop people from entering into the gate, that would be one. And as I think of all the biographies that I have read of people who were in an extensive awakening prior to their conversion, Thomas Halliburton, John Bunyan, Asahel Nettleton, and many for a while thought that they had committed the unpardonable sin and that God wasn't going to save them. And the devil loves to turn those warning passages of scripture into sledgehammers to try to crush our hopes and to bring us down. And I went through that myself. It was back in 1983, and I was down in Lafayette, Louisiana, and I went through an extensive period of eight months where I was under I would say a hell above ground, I was trying to describe it, to somebody recently, and that is I was in Louisiana, and you see how hot it is today. It could be that hot in May in southern Louisiana. And this megachurch that I was part of, the largest southern Baptist church in Lafayette, Louisiana, had bought, they had purchased the entire next city block, which belonged to a Catholic church and was turned into the entire building into a building for the singles of this church. That's how big this church was. And I was in need of work and so I was working in construction and he put me at the top of this attic where I couldn't even lift myself up to full height. I could sit down but I couldn't kneel down and I had to put insulation through the entire length of the thing in me in this kind of heat under the type of fears that I was in and I was really under torment. Remember one man's description of it, Samuel Bolton, the man who wrote on Christian freedom, called it his awakening to hell above ground. So I well know what these fears are like. And we're going to discuss the relief of fears of three people in a moment. But Christian said that he rejoiced and he trembled. So when he got in, The man at the gate asked him who directed him there. And Christian said, Evangelist bid me come here and knock as I did. And he said that you, sir, would tell me what I must do. Goodwill said, an open door is set before you and no man can shut it. And Christian said, now I begin to reap the benefits of my hazards. So do not forget, as you're picturing Christian and Pilgrim's progress, at this time, he still has this burden weighing on his back. And as I expressed before, that's not everybody. who comes to Christ who still has that burden on his back, but it is Psalm. And that simply means not that he didn't enter into the wicked gate, not that he wasn't converted, but that he did not by any means enjoy a high assurance of the reality of his faith. And there is a book called The Theology of the Reformers by William Cunningham and there is a chapter in there and I've narrated it which is very, very enlightening and helpful. And that is the difference between the Puritans on assurance and faith. and the reformers like John Calvin and Martin Luther. What happened, because Luther and Calvin were dealing with the heirs of the Catholic Church, which did not believe in assurance of salvation at all, because it's a work merited justification. Calvin and Luther probably went to the other extreme, and they taught, this is how you phrase it, that assurance is of the essence of faith. Well, where would the problem be if you were a pastor, and one of your tender flock came to you for counsel, you would conclude to them that, well, if you lack assurance, you can't be a Christian. And this isn't theory, it's history in Grand Rapids. The number of different Reformed churches, one of them is the Protestant Reformed Churches started by Herman Hoeksema as they exited the Christian Reformed Church in 1924. Basically he was kicked out because he didn't believe in the free offer of the gospel, they didn't believe in common grace and so on. So he came to church one day in 1924 and I actually was a letter carrier that delivered a mail to that church. Eastern Avenue Christian Reformed Church had bolted the church shut and they tried to get in and that was their way of saying, you're fired, because you don't believe these core tenets of the Christian Reformed Church. Well, they formed their own denomination Hermann Hoekseman and some of his followers, Dr. Hermann Henkel. And to a person, they're not real fond of certain elements of Puritan experimentalism. They don't like the history of what's called the Great Awakening. They say that so much of that wasn't even true because they don't accept the Puritan view of conversion, this awakening prior to conversion and a lack of assurance. Puritans in order to correct the Reformers. And I think it's important for me to get this on the recording for people that are listening on Sermon Audio because it is important history. In the Westminster and in the London Baptist Confession, chapter 18 deals with assurance of salvation. And paragraph 3 talks about assurance not being of the essence of faith. But the Puritans also dealt with that in the larger catechism under question 81. And I say all that to say that this is what's going on with Christian, with the burden on his back. that it pleads God as the interpreter, the house of the interpreter said when Christian asked, can you help me get rid of this burden? He says that God will take it off in his time. And so So, because these things are so important when we get through the House of the Interpreter in weeks to come and we talk about the burden falling off of Christian's back and going into the sepulcher, we will talk about Question 81 of the larger Catechism further, but interestingly History of the Church, there hasn't been a lot of extended commentaries on the larger catechism. Most of them were on the smaller catechism. But there is one that was written by a man named Thomas Ridgely, and Stillwater Revival Books published that up in Canada, and it just didn't have much of an audience. But I narrated his answer to question 81. And it's one of the finest treatments of that question that I've ever read. Very, very well done. So, the gate at which Christian desired admission represents Christ himself as received by the penitent sinner in all of his offices and for all the purposes of salvation according to the measure of his explicit knowledge. by which he actually enters into a state of acceptance with God. The scriptures referred to were spoken by our Lord Himself, previous to the full revelation of His character and redemption, and may be very properly explained of a man's finally and decidedly renouncing his worldly and sinful pursuits and engaging with diligence and self-denial, In a life of devotedness to God, the broad road leads to destruction. The gate by which men enter, it is wide, for we are all born in sin and the children of wrath, and turn everyone to his own way, a folly and transgression. But the straight gate opens into the narrow way that leads to life, and at this the penitent finds admission with difficulty and conflict. As it is a straight, or in the language of the allegory, a wicket or a little gate, the convert cannot carry along with him any of his sinful practices, ungodly companions, worldly idols, carnal confidences, when he strives to enter in at it. Nor can he effectually contend with those enemies that obstruct his passage unless he wrestles continually with God in prayer for his gracious assistance. But while we advert to these things, we must not forget that the sinner returns to God by faith in Christ. Genuine repentance comes from him and leads to him. And a true believer not only trusts in the Lord for salvation, but also seeks his liberty and happiness in his service. So that quote is probably by Thomas Scott. I'm trying to remember who did it, Pilgrim Publications or probably there was a publishing company by started by Lloyd Sprinkle and they published a version of Pilgrim's Progress that had Thomas Scott's explanatory notes in the column and It's one that's definitely worth getting. If you look up in a used bookstore and you ever see Pilgrim's Progress with Explanatory Notes by Thomas Scott and I believe in Biography of Bunyan by Josiah or Joseph Condor, that's definitely worth checking out. having. So we're going to talk about the experiences that different people have and I'm focusing on three that had an extensive awakening prior to their conversion because I think it's enlightening and it sticks with the subject that we are talking about and that is the conversion of Christian in Pilgrim's Progress. So Jonathan Edwards says in A Narrative of Surprising Conversions, which we mentioned before that this work on the Awakening that came to Northampton in 1734 and 1735 section 2 is such an excellent commentary on the various awakenings that he witnessed. And he said during this revival he probably counseled no less than 300 people in his office who were under awakening and with his great meticulous and analytical mind. It's probably one of the best things I ever read on various awakenings prior to conversion and it was a very first book by Jonathan Edwards I bought. I had started going to Trinity Baptist Church in Montville, New Jersey and they had this excellent bookstore and they were selling as a paperback as they still do three books in one by Jonathan Edwards, a narrative of many surprising conversions and distinguishing marks of a work of the Spirit of God and thoughts on the present revival of religion. But the narrative of surprising conversions is so enlightening, and that's what I'm quoting from him. Quote, that calm of spirit that some persons have found after their legal distresses, their legal prior to their conversion, they are not evangelical. Their fears are legal fears. Their fears are fears that they're going to be damned, that they're going to go to hell. They are not the proper fear that it talks about in Hebrews 4.1, which I happen to be studying before I came here. Let us fear lest the promise being left of entering into his rest. Any of you should seem to come short of it. That evangelical fear has hope. it's always accompanied by faith. Legal fear is, if we have professing Christians who still have too much legal fear, we really want to help them out because it battles against the fruit of the Spirit, which is love, joy, and peace. If you're continually in that state of legal fear, a spirit of bondage in fear, Romans 8 15. We want to help people out because in order to embrace with full heartedness the promises of God, we want to have the spirit of adoption. That common spirit that some persons have found after their legal distresses continues sometime before any special and delightful manifestation is made to the soul of the grace of God is revealed in the gospel. but very often some comfortable and sweet view of a merciful God as he's reading the scriptures. The scripture just seemed to open up and give him a new sense of the view of God as a God of mercy, or of a sufficient Redeemer, or as some great and joyful things of the gospel immediately follows, or in a very little time, and in some the first sight of their just deserts of hell. In God's sovereignty with respect to their salvation, and a discovery of all sufficient grace, are so near that they seem to go, as it were, together. These gracious discoveries given, whence the first special comforts are derived, are in many respects very various. They vary from person to person. Some have so much more of them, and some are like some babies. They are, in fact, alive, but you study them and you see very little signs of life. And that was what was actually happening with Michael when he was born. And I remember, or it was probably Jonathan, the nurse said, I said to him, at least he's crying more than his brother Jonathan did. And the nurse says, well, he's not crying near enough for my good. And that upset my dad because he thought you're unnecessarily scaring mom and dad. Michael turned out just fine. But that's how in the spiritual realm and in the natural realm, some babies are born loud, they cry loud, they show evident signs of life immediately and some the life signs are dimmer and that's the way it is with many professing Christians. They may not even know when they came to Christ because he says in many respects these things are very various. More frequently, Christ is distinctly made the object of the mind. He's talking about in conversion and his all sufficiency and willingness to save sinners. But some have their thoughts more especially fixed on God. and some of its sweet and glorious attributes manifested in the gospel and shining forth in the face of Christ. Some view the all-sufficiency of the mercy and grace of God, some chiefly the infinite power of God and His ability to save them and to do all things for them, and some look most at the truth and faithfulness of God. In some, the truth and certainty of the gospel in general is the first joyful discovery they have. In others, the certain truths of some particular promises. In some, the grace and sincerity of God and His invitations, very commonly in some particular invitation of the gospel to His mind and it now appears real to them that God does indeed invite them to Christ to lay hold of them. I remember it so well September 18th 1986 and I was reading into Trinity hymnal those hymns that were speaking of coming unto Christ, hymn 467 by Samuel J Stone. So well, let's look at three people's conversions just very briefly because I have this opportunity to share the things that you have to know these stories to know what to put together. And the first is John Bunyan, from grace abounding to the chief of sinners. And this is after the dark night of the soul and the spirit of bondage and fear when God opens his eyes to see the gospel and embrace it. Quote, but one day, John Bunyan, as I was passing in the field, and that too was some dashes on my conscience, fearing lest yet all was not right, suddenly the sentence fell upon my soul, thy righteousness is in heaven. And methought with that I saw with the eyes of my soul. He's not seeing a vision. with the eyes of his soul, Jesus Christ at God's right hand. Dare I say it was my righteousness, so that wherever I was or whatever I was doing, God could not say of me, he wants, he lacks my righteousness, for that was just before him, Christ. I saw also, moreover, that it was not my good frame, my feelings and my heart that made my righteousness. nor yet my bad frame that made my righteousness worse. For my righteousness was Jesus Christ himself, the same yesterday, today, and forever, Hebrews 13, 8. Now did my chains fall off my legs indeed, metaphorically speaking. I was loosed from my afflictions and irons, my temptations also fled away so that from that time those dreadful scriptures of God left off to trouble me. Here was somebody who experienced the whispers or maybe yellings of Satan to him that His day of grace had passed, and the verse that scared him so much prior to his conversion was, Esau sold his birthright for a morsel of meat, and when he would seek repentance, God denied him of it, though he sought it carefully with tears. Well, he wasn't seeking repentance from God, he was seeking repentance of his father. His sorrow was that he had lost the birthright. So it was a sorrow of the world. It wasn't godly sorrow, and it's not like he was crying to God for mercy in Jesus Christ. God would not hear him. So the devil loves to misinterpret those scriptures, anything to cause us to tremble. So next we'll look at David Brainerd, and I mentioned something of his testimony last week, and it's the beginning of his diary, and there is no conversion awakening that I so identified with back in 1984 because I didn't know a lot. I hadn't read a lot of stories. So I even got to where I remember going back to Helena, Montana from New York City. The whole time I was in New York City, I was under this distress and I was back in Helena before I moved to Missoula. And I would ask myself, I wonder where I'm at compared to what David Brainerd went through. That's how I so much probably cast myself down further by reading those things which exclude hope instead of feed hope. But he said, quote, I continued as I remember in this state of mind, fear and despair of its own righteousness from Friday morning till the Sabbath evening following July 12, 1739. When I was walking again in the same solitary place where I was brought to see myself lost and helpless as before mentioned, here in a mournful, melancholy state, I was attempting to pray, but I found no heart to engage in that or any other duty. I remember before September 18, 1986, when I finally got assurance, I had just left off praying. I thought, well, what's the use? I'm praying in total unbelief. Why should God hear me? And it got so bad that any of the scriptures that I was reading that excluded hope, you latch on to them, to use the words of Alexander, with an unnatural avidity. Grab hold of it and you can't think of anything else. If it excludes hope, you say, that's me. Brother, I counsel people like that all the time. You can give them ten things to give them hope, but they will latch on to one thing where it may cause despair, and they can't let it go, and then they can't listen to anything that you were saying after that. The slow to spawn, how is that different than some of this, or is it pretty similar in terms of how the doubts that somebody has before coming to you? I think it's an excellent picture of the delts that you have because by reason of the burden in proportion to how he felt his burden he sunk into the slough and what help points out to him and it is worthwhile you asking that question because we never dealt with it at any length but Hell points out to Christian that there are promises that if he would have used those steps he wouldn't have sunk so far into the mire. But when you're under a tremendous amount of fear and anxiety and fear that you're going to hell, your fear so clouds your mind that you Cannot even though you can hear the promises cannot step on the steps to give you help so God in his mercy sent a helper to Christian to help him out. But what I pointed out last time is he's explaining this law of despond and he says that barrels are of instructions have been poured into this slough and still it is a slough and I said that the barrels of instructions are so many books have been written to try to help somebody that's under those kind of fears to help them to see the promises. And all of those books were written. And we named The Rise and Progress of Religion in the Soul by Philip Doddridge. There's one called The Anxious Inquirer. I believe that was 1831. John Angel James. I got that book very, very early on. I saw the title, and under my awakening, I said, I need to have that book. And for David Brainerd, it was Solomon Stoddard's book, A Guide to Christ. And he said that it was, he believed, the book that God used him to enable him to see Christ in a new way. But he said his heart rose against the author of that book, which was Jonathan Edwards' grandfather, because though he told me I needed to go to Christ, he could not tell me how to go to Christ. Well, he can. You can lay out these promises, but until the eyes of the understanding are enlightened by the Holy Spirit, These instructions are good and God may use them. And believe me, I read a lot of them. That's why I was looking for the book, DeBrew's Read, by Richard Sibbes when I went into the bookstore in 1984 in Alexander, Louisiana. I needed books of instructions, but it was interesting. It was the hymnal, the Trinity hymnal on the hymns on the forgiveness of sin, starting with hymn 467 and on, that after God had emptied me for three and a half years, and I'm reading these hymns, worry of earth and laden with my sin, I look to heaven and long to enter in, but there though evil one may find a home, and yet I hear a voice that bids me on and those hymns at that time was what God was using and he pressed them to me because they contained the promises of the gospel but now I was emptied of my self-righteousness and now God mercifully interposed and I saw now that God must save, and then the hands are empty, simply to thy cross I cling. Foul I to the fountain fly, rock of ages, Augustus' top lady." So the Slau of Despond is just a description of what many go through prior to their conversion, which David Brainerd went through. So here in a mournful, melancholy state, I was attempting to pray, but found no heart to engage in that or any other duty. He's in the slow despond. My former concern, exercise, and religious affections were now gone because they weren't true affections. I thought the spirit of God had quite left me, but still was not distressed, yet disconsolate as if there was nothing in heaven or earth could make me happy. Having been thus endeavoring to pray, though, as I thought, very stupid. That word means obdurate, hard-hearted in those days. Stupid and senseless for near half an hour. Then, as I was walking in the dark, thick grove, unspeakable glory seemed to open to the view and apprehension of my soul. I don't mean any external brightness, for I saw no such thing, nor do I tend any imagination of a body of light somewhere in the third heavens or anything of that nature. But it was a new inward expression or view that I had of God, such as I never had before, nor anything which had the least resemblance of it. I stood still and I marveled. I had no particular apprehension of any one person in the Trinity, either the Father, the Son, or the Holy Ghost, but it appeared to be divine glory. My soul rejoiced with joy unspeakable to see such a God, such a glorious divine being. And I was inwardly pleased and satisfied that he should be a God over all forever. and ever. My soul was so captivated and delighted with the excellency, loveliness, greatness, and other perfections of God that I was even swallowed up in Him. At least to that degree that I had no thought as I remember it first about my own salvation. That's called a disinterested look. It's a savior. You have such a view now that the savior is your substitute and you're so caught up in a new mind's enlightened view of him that your own safety and your own salvation is not immediately in view because you're looking at him and your own safety for the time is forgotten. Now where I think Jonathan Edwards may have pressed this too far, if you're reading a treatise on the religious affections, that he would begin to question anybody's conversion that wasn't wholly disinterested like that. But we are such complex beings that even when you really get a view of the satisfaction of Jesus Christ and his atonement and his substitutionary curse bearing on your behalf, and you rejoice in it and you want to sing about it and so on, your mind is so complex it still will divert to the idea you'll ask yourself, wow, I wonder if I've just been saved. I wonder if I'm safe now and I won't go to hell. To say that if you have those thoughts your view of Christ isn't completely disinterested, it's still somewhat selfish, that's pressing that way too far because we're so complex that a myriad of thoughts go through your mind and can during your conversion. You're taken up with the satisfaction of Christ and the gospel promises that are held forth to you. And, but, you know, for me, it was like six hours long. So a lot of thoughts went through my mind. And including this thought, and I remember it well, it started on September 18th, 1986. So it was probably by September 19th that I started to have the thought that, Jason, I was so afraid of having a false hope again. I was so afraid of building my house on the sand that I said, if this is really salvation, and I've experienced it because it was so joyful. And I was so taken up, especially when I got to the high priestly prayer in John 17, I was so taken up in the words. I mean, every sentence was just gripping me with eternity. I in them and thou in me. that we may be perfect in one. And I said, something about mere nature is happening here. My assurance is so strong. But I was so afraid because I had had so many false starts that I said, if I indeed have been converted tonight, it will change tomorrow. In that, remember I said that I hadn't been praying for an extended time because I had no hope it would do any good. I said, if I've indeed been converted tonight, then tomorrow I'm going to have a desire to read the Bible and I'm going to have a desire to pray and for my own good. And this doesn't happen to everybody. The burden completely was lifted off and the next day I couldn't get enough of praying and enough of reading the scriptures for day after day after day. And that spirit of adoption that I experienced that night and the Holy Spirit bearing witness with me that you are now a new creature in Christ, that has never completely left me. Because when I am pressed and I'm in a trial, there is something new about a creature in Christ that He will pray to His Father. And there are times when my joys and my assurance has ebbed. and it hasn't flowed, but I can honestly say whatever happened that night, I have never lost that. That's what it means to be a new creature in Christ. You now call upon God as your Father. So we're talking about David Brainerd, but let me go on to Asahel Middleton. He was a man who was greatly used in the second great awakening. He was a, he went to school under Timothy Dwight at Yale. Timothy Dwight was the grandson of Jonathan Edwards and the president of Yale. And there was a revival that took place in 1805, 07, something like that. And he was there during that revival. And somebody was under such awakening and so afraid that they said, if God doesn't help this guy, he's going to die. It's just going to, it's going to be too much for his body. So they called the president in, which was Timothy Dwight. And Dwight came in and counseled him. And Asahel Middleton was in the next room, just crying out to God and praying to him. Well, that guy got converted and he went into the mission field after that. But the scene was so powerful that there was, it was interesting, Yale in about 1800, and this happened to the College of New Jersey as well. These colleges were at such a low spiritual state, Christian college to prepare men for the ministry. Then it was said of Yale, maybe only one of ten of the students were even converted and many of them were infidels. They made the mistake of challenging their president, Timothy Dwight, to a debate and they wanted to try to prove infidelity and they were taking Jonathan Edwards' grandson, by the way, who was at the age of seven, taking his brother's Latin works off the shelf and teaching himself Latin because his parents wouldn't allow him to go to a tutor that young. This guy was a mastermind. They said by the age of eight, this is Timothy Dwight, the person who trained Nettleton, that by the age of eight, that he would have been ready for college, but he was providentially hindered. So Asahel Nettleton was greatly used during the second Great Awakening. And it's amazing that his name has been forgotten. And you know whose name is remembered was his foe, Charles Finney. But I just want to talk about Nettleton's conversion. He said, not long after this, there was a change in his feelings. He was under awakening for 10 months. He felt a calmness for which he knew not how to account. He thought at first that he had lost his convictions and was going back to his stupidity. That's hardness of heart. This alarmed him, but still he could not recall his former feelings. A sweet peace pervaded his soul, the objects which had given him so much distress he now contemplated with delight. He did not, however, for several days suppose that he had experienced a change of heart, but finding at length that his views and feelings According with those expressed by others whom he regarded as the friends of Christ, he began to think it possible, maybe it's possible, that he might have passed from death unto life. The more he examined himself, the more evidence he found that a great change had been wrought in his views and feelings respecting divine things. Old things had passed away, old things had become new. The character of God now appeared lovely. It's interesting, if you read his biography, just a few months before, when he was under this conviction and he realized God was sovereign and that God didn't need to listen to his selfish prayers, he actually said this, I came to the point that if there was a God in heaven, I perfectly hated him. He was so angry at his sovereignty, so angry that he'd been crying out for mercy and God wasn't hearing him. And that's not uncommon under awakening, that God will show you your innate enmity against him, Romans 8, 7, so that you know that if you begin to love Him, only God can change that heart. I've often said during a revival, if you were counseling awakened sinners, if you could convince them under the awakening how desperately and dreadful their hatred of God is, half of their conviction would be done because they would realize, well, if I hate God this much, for me to begin to love him, God has to first reach out to me. I'm not going to reach out to him. But Nettleden says, the more he examined himself, the more evidence he found that a great change had been wrought in his views and feelings, respect and divine things, old things had passed away, all things had become new. The character of God now appeared lovely the savior was exceedingly precious and the doctrines of grace towards which he had felt such bitter opposition he contemplated now with delight he had now no doubt of their truth so let me read a little from pilgrim's progress and i'm going to open it up to questions and i'll decide depending on the questions and the answers if we should go further on tonight because I'm not in any hurry because there are some things that I know that I'm saying here that I have studied after 40 years that are being put on these recordings that people just aren't saying in an hour a day and it doesn't make me superior as a teacher by any means that these things have been And if a real revival came to the church, people would be talking about these things again, this experimental Christianity at this level. So, good will. We make no objections against any, notwithstanding all that they have done before they came here. They are in no wise cast out, John 6, 37. And therefore, good Christian, come a little way with me, and I will teach you about the way you must go. Look before you. Do you see this? Narrow way. That is the way you must go. It was cast up by the patriarchs, the prophets, Christ and his apostles. And it is as straight as a rule can make it. This is the way you must go. But, said Christian, are there no turnings or windings by which a stranger may lose his way? Goodwill said, yes, there are many ways. And they are crooked and wide, but you may distinguish the right from the wrong, the right only being straight and narrow, Matthew 7, 14. Then I saw in my dream that Christian asked him further if he could not help him off with his burden. He's still got this burden. Nor could he by any means get it off without help. He told him, as to your burden be content to bear it until you come to the place of deliverance. This was so interesting. For there, and it was at the side of the cross, by faith there it will fall off from your back of itself. Then Christian began to gird up his loins and to address himself to his journey. Here's a comment on that. Look before you. Do you see this narrow way? This is the way you must go. Christian being admitted into straight gate is directed in a narrow way and a broad road every man may choose a path suited to his inclinations. Shift about to avoid difficulties or accommodate himself to circumstances and he will be sure of company agreeable to his taste. But Christians must follow one another in a narrow way, along the same tracks, surmounting difficulties, facing enemies, and bearing hardships, without any room to evade them. Nor is any indulgence given to different tastes, habits, or propensities. It is therefore a strained, or as some render the word, an afflicted way, being indeed a habitual course of repentance, faith, love, self-denial, patience, and mortification of sin in the world according to the rule of the holy scriptures. I don't know if I'm quoting Thomas Scott. I thought that I'd put the reference down. I'll read a little further, but I'll open it up in case anybody has questions about what we've discussed so far. I can read a little and then maybe you'll help. Well, I wanted to pause in case something that I just mentioned brought up a question, but let me at least begin the part that before we really get into the House of the Interpreter, before we really start to discuss what the journey would mean to Christian, I just have this fear that, and I'm I'm growing more convicted about this now that I'm retired and I have more time to get up in the morning. I'm spending a lot of time with John Owen and John Flavel's work on preparation for suffering. I just am afraid, and you guys, because I know you three, you're pretty spiritually minded and you may find that people that you're talking to at church in between Sunday school and the service, or during the potluck and so on, and you know that what would be good for you is to have real heart-to-heart exhorting one another daily lest you be deeply hardened through the deceitfulness of sin, and you worry because you can tell when a person is being evasive and they really don't want you to dig very deep. if you ask him, how is it with your soul brother? They don't want you to go very deep down. And I brought this up, as a matter of fact, in our prayer meeting on a Wednesday. I know Joe Wilson was aware of this book. It's called Holding Communion Together by Thomas Chantry and one other, quote, Reformed Baptist brother. And it was supposed to be a history of the first 50 years of the Reformed Baptist churches. But in Grand Rapids, this is the history behind how we came to the convictions that we had about pastoral oversight. It was from reading the book Richard Baxter's Reformed Pastor. And Baxter said that he thought it was very, very essential not just to preach to them from the pulpit, but go to their houses and talk to them one-on-one or as a family and see how they are doing. And it was, it's very convicting. The history behind that is that Richard Baxter and an associate on Tuesdays, maybe Tuesdays and Wednesdays, between them, once a week, each of them would meet with eight families. And if you understand how churches were laid out then, a pastor wasn't just a pastor of a church. especially if they came from the Church of England background, they were a pastor of a whole parish. And Baxter had an incredible zeal that he needed to give an account, not just for the people in the church. I mean, you read the Reformed pastor, he says, I seldom hear the bell toll. The bell would start to ring on top of a church announcing that somebody died and there was going to be a funeral. I seldom hear the bell toll, but I ask myself, even though he's not a member of this church, he made you just a member of a parish. He had oversight of the whole parish. The bad part of that is some of the parish people were required by law to pay tithes to the And I don't think the parish model was very good. But for Baxter, he had such a zeal that he would hear the bell toll and he would ask, what more could I have done for the soul? Or he would say, I stood beside the casket and he said, here lies the body, but where lies the soul? Where is the soul? and what more could I have done for the soul?" Well, Baxter was such a zealous pastor for souls. So, you read that book as a young pastor, and we did, one of our pastors in Grand Rapids, and you come to the conviction that you probably could arrange in your church where once or twice a year the pastors should meet with all members of the church for what we call biblical pastoral oversight. They asked us, how was your devotion? And you would just have a good conversation and wanted to detect if there was any spiritual declension going on. And they wanted to help you out. And then the last question is, do you have any questions for us as pastors? Are there concerns that we should address or concerns about? how we're doing something, we would love to have your input. And you guys are spiritual enough that you would say, well, I don't see anything wrong with that. Well, in this book, Holding Communion Together, he mentions that there was his pastor, he's out on the California Coast. He's no longer in the ministry and I won't mention his name. They had this pastors conference out in New Jersey that was started by Albert Martin. And they would have different pastors do modules on different subjects. And this pastor from Grand Rapids did four messages on biblical pastoral oversight. I listened to him numerous times. I know they were pastor conference messages, but they were very, very edifying. I mean, he'd say useful things like, if you're having a family oversight and the kid starts to act up, maybe he's crying, and he says, I found, for example, as a pastor, I'll offer to take Junior and put him on my knee, and sometimes that will quiet him down because kids are curious about this person showing an interest. It was just really, really helpful. And this pastor said that he left his conference upset that we were going to start pastoral oversight. So it was the church in Grand Rapids that really started it within the Reformed Baptist circles, he says. No, while they weren't visiting kind of the way that it was laid out where every family and single or whatever in the church that was a member was going to be visited once or twice a year. That was really started in the early 70s in Grand Rapids. That's why he was asked to teach it at the pastors conference to try to get pastors on board. It's a wholesome thing. It's certainly Richard Baxter would have agreed with that. And this guy said he left there so much in a huff And he said, it is inconceivable to me that you would have a pastor prying into somebody's private spiritual life. And I read that and I thought, oh my, have we come to this? And so there began to be an animosity against Grand Rapids and Trinity Baptist Church that the pastors were too authoritative because they were being pastors. You're supposed to be the watch over your soul, honey. Amen. Well, how in the world do you carry out Hebrew 3? 13, exhort one another daily lest we be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin. It's one thing to do that with church members that you don't know very well, but you're not going to be able to do it effectually. For us to be able to help one another, we have to get to know one another. We have to... They have to see in us that we love them. Paul said, I travel in birth that Christ be formed in you. It was the language of a mother rearing a child to make sure that that child turns out well. And Jesus says in John 13 verse 35, that you'll know that they are my disciples, that they have love for one another. Yeah, and I'm concerned that, you know, this is something we need to hold our pastors to. And I'm saying this charitably, not judgmentally. brothers, we all have to give an account of ourselves to God. And the family group gatherings cannot replace the personal pastoral oversight. We need to help one another out. I need it. Michael's been a great help to me sometimes. Because we need it. We're so, by nature, we want to excuse ourselves so let me just read a little bit we won't carry it on too long but my concern is that well first of all if a real revival came to a church and the manifest presence of God came upon an assembly and you know and Foolishness and levity would be gone. It would be gone. Okay. However, I have to believe that on Sundays, we are, if we're serious, would want that demeanor every Sunday. If you wouldn't do it during a revival when the manifest presence of a holy God is in the assembly, probably shouldn't do it from week to week when we don't feel that manifest presence. So the reason I wanted to stress this is because I fear that rather than our journey being a pilgrim's progress, for some it has become a regress. And I just want to use the I'll show you a couple of categories that the Bible talks about this journey. It is compared to a race. I mean, you look at what it says in 1 Corinthians 9. I'll get to it in a second. A war, a life of perseverance, and a mindset of watching and pray. Watch and pray that you enter not into temptation. If you think you can't read it, at least listen to chapter 3 of Temptation by John Owen. Because Owen says to think that you have any ability to stand In your own strength is your first mistake. All our strength has to come from the Lord. He uses a picture of a fort. He said, no matter how strong the walls are, no matter how you put the guards at the walls and you're watching from the inside looking out to enemies that are coming against the wall, if the traitor is already in the fort and you're not watching him, you're going to fall. And we have to realize, because of indwelling sin, the traitor is within us, ready to give away our security at any time. Later on in Pilgrim's Progress, I don't know how many people caught this. This really hit me the first time I taught this. But I want to bring it in because it's really a good example of my concern here. As Christian and hopeful got through the enchanted ground, right before they get to the Celestial City, they get to a place called the Delectable Mountain. And they're having a conversation with the shepherds up there, and the shepherds inquire of them, how did you get here? Tell us of your conversion and all that. But it's this line that I said, what was Bunyan trying to communicate by this? I saw also in my dream that when the shepherds perceived that they were wayfaring men, they also put questions to them to which they made answer as in other places as, where'd you come from? How'd you get in the way? And by what means have you so persevered therein? Now this sentence really hit me the first time I read this. Four, but few of them that begin to come here, the Delectable Mountains, show their face on these mountains. What was Bunyan trying to say? That many people start out on this journey, and when they get to the end, and then from the Delectable Mountains, they could look through the, you know, the telescope was already invented by, binoculars, whatever, was invented by them. And so they got to view, allegorically speaking, the celestial city. But the shepherds say a lot of people start out well, and they never get to this point. And I said, all right, Bunya's not infallible. But he must have seen something to put that into the allegory. But listen to this. 1 Corinthians 9.24. And this should hit me way harder than it does. No, you're not. The day which run in a race run all. but one receives a prize. So run, run, that you may obtain. And every man that strives for the mastery is temperate in all things. God, I need help here. Lord, help me here. Now, they do it to obtain a corruptible crown, but we an incorruptible. I therefore so run, not as uncertainly, so fight, not as one that beats the air, you're not pummeling anything, but I keep under my body and bring it into subjection, lest that by any means When I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway." Paul really believed. He was persuaded. He was a Christian. He knew he was going to have a reward waiting for him, but not irrespective of his own perseverance. Because if you profess to be a Christian and there's no fight, there's no watching in prayer, there is no exhorting one another daily, there is no crying out to God for help, it's an indication that that person is at least in a precarious condition and maybe in a perishing condition. John Angel James wrote a book called The Christian Progress. It was the one that followed the anxious inquirer. So the anxious inquirer instructs people about coming to Christ. This is after you've come to Christ. It is a progress that the subject leads us now especially to contemplate. The racer was not only in action but in progress. It was with him not merely bounding off with a vigorous start. got off it when the gun sounded, nor exerting himself to the uttermost of his strength for a part of the course, but a continual going onward. Hence the beautiful language of the apostle, forgetting the things that are behind and reaching forth unto those things which are before. One who was running in the ancient race would not stop to look back to see how much ground he had run over, or which of his companions had fallen or lingered on the way. He would keep his eye fixed on the goal and the prize. and strain every nerve to reach. If his attention were diverted for a single moment, it might hinder his speed and might be the means of his losing the crown. Onward, onward was a mighty impulse which stimulated him in his course. So was it with the apostle. He fixed his eye intently on the prize and allowed no past attainments as a Christian or success as a minister to make him linger on the way. So must it be with us. No measure of knowledge of faith or holiness must satisfy us, but we must ever making advances in the divine life. One of the first books I got, I don't know if you have this one yet, The Christian in Complete Armor by William Gurnall. Okay, the beginning of this just, and this was the first major Puritan work that I got hard back when I got to Trinity. The Christian must keep on his way to heaven in the midst of all the scandals that are cast upon the ways of God by the apostasy and foul falls of false professors. There were ever such in the church who by their sad miscarriages and judgment and practice have laid a stone of offense on the way of profession. in which we Christians are ready to make a stand, as they at the bloody body of Asahel, 2 Samuel 2.22, not knowing whether they may venture any further in their profession, seeing such whose gifts they so much admired lie before them, wallowing in the blood of their slain profession. And I am telling you how Those of us who live through this and the founding pastor of our church in Grand Rapids seriously sunk into sexual sin. And I was so numb for so long because this is what you say. Well, if it happens to him, where does that leave me? And this is 2001 or so. And I'm I'll admit, this is what really helped me out of it. The MP3 was a new file format. They had real media, real audio. And I got my first MP3 player. So I was looking around on the internet for sermons that were in MP3 format, and one of the earliest was John Piper. And John Piper was going through Romans 8, and he got to Romans 8.13 and above. mortifying the deeds of the body and he had three sermons called Killing sin and it was the second one and I believe I'd recorded it on a cassette because I couldn't play my mp3 player in my mail truck But I had a cassette player. I listened to that sermon four times in a row and it was healing to me brother and the reason was I I said, you cannot possibly preach with this kind of pathos if you're not living this. I said, whatever else you think of John Piper, the man had pathos and feeling about what he was communicating about putting to death sin. It was very, very healing for me. But what are you saying as you have somebody like Asahel who probably had a profession in Israel and yet they are slain in the battle. We admired their gifts. but they're wallowing in the blood of their slain profession. From being zealous professors to prove perhaps fiery persecutors, from being strict performers of religious duties to prove irreligious atheists, no more like the men they were some years past than the bell of Sodom now a bog and a quagmire is, to what it was when for fruitfulness compared to the garden of the Lord. He says, we had need of a holy resolution to bear up against such discouragements and not to faint as Joshua, who lived to see the whole camp of Israel, a very few accepted, revolting and then their hearts turning back to Egypt because of the reports of the spies. And yet with an undaunted spirit maintained his integrity, a resolve though not a man beside him would bear him company. Yet, He would serve the Lord. Just a couple more analogies. Fight the good fight of faith, Paul wrote to Timothy, 1 Timothy 6.12. I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith." 2 Timothy 4.7. Again, William Gurnall says, "...the Christian must keep on his way to heaven in the midst of all the scandals that are cast upon the ways of God by the apostasy and foul false of false professors there were ever such in the church." So I'm kind of quoting the same thing. And he says, it's very, very difficult to press forward as a soldier when you're walking over the bodies of those who have apostatized. And they're laying on the battlefield and their profession turns out to be false So one last quote by Jonathan Edwards He has a sermon and this one really really frightened me when I was under awakening But now I can honestly say if there's one sermon that's so if you'd give a person one sermon and say look read this And if this marks you, you know, you can have assurance and that one mark is If you're born again, you're going to cry to God, Abba Father. But he says, hypocrites never had the spirit of prayer given them. They may have been stirred up to the external performance of this duty and that with a great deal of earnestness and affection, and yet always have been destitute of the true spirit of prayer. The spirit of prayer is in Holy Spirit, a gracious spirit. We read of the spirit of grace and supplication. Zechariah 3.10, I will pour out on the house of David and the inhabitants of Jerusalem the spirit of grace and supplications. Wherever there is a true spirit of supplication, there is a spirit of grace. A true spirit of prayer is no other than God's own spirit dwelling in the hearts of the saints. And as the spirit comes from God, so does it naturally tend to God. And holy breathing's in. cantings, it naturally leads to God to converse with him by prayer. Therefore, the spirit is said to make intercession for the saints with thronings, which cannot be uttered. But it is far otherwise with a false convert. No, the true convert's work is not done. He finds still work to be done. See, a false convert believes he's entered in at the wicked gate and he just wanted to be safe from hell and he's still an enmity against God. So he has no spirit of prayer. So he thinks his work is done, he doesn't care to persevere. But a true convert knows his work is not done. He sees himself still to be a poor, empty, helpless creature, and that he still stands in great and continual need of God's help. He is sensible that without God he can do nothing. A false conversion makes a man, in his own eyes, self-sufficient. He says he is rich and increased with goods, and has need of nothing, and knows not that he is wretched and miserable and poor and blind and naked. But after a true conversion, the soul remains sensible of its own impotence and emptiness as it is in itself, and its sense of it, rather, is increased and diminished. It is still sensible of its universal dependence on God for everything. A true convert is sensible that his grace is very imperfect and he is very far from having all that he desires. Instead of that, by conversions or begotten in him new desires which he never had before, he now finds in him holy appetites and hungering and thirsting after righteousness. And just one quote from John Owen on temptation, because this book was so helpful. I talked about the morning watching and praying. Should you go into a hospital and see many persons lying sick and weak, sore and wounded, with many filthy diseases and distempers, and should inquire of them how they fell into this condition, and they shall all agree to tell you such and such a thing was the occasion of it. By that I got my wounds as one, and my disease as another. Would it not make you a little careful, however, what you had to do with that thing or place that they talked about? Surely it would, should you go to a dungeon and see many miserable creatures bound and changed for an approaching day of execution and inquire the way and means in which they were brought into that condition. And they should all fix on one and the same thing. Would you not take care to avoid it? The case is so with entering into temptation. Ah, how many poor, miserable, spiritually wounded souls are we? Everywhere. One wounded by one sin, another by another, one falling into filthiness of the flesh, another of the spirit. Ask them now how they came into this state and condition. They must all answer, alas, we entered into temptation. We fell into curse, snares, and entanglements. And that has brought us into the woeful condition you see, watching and praying." I have other quotes here, but you know, next time we wanted to get into the house of the interpreter and talk about some of the imagery there. And especially, you know, I mean, want to do a real extended study of the man in the iron cage because there's things that Bunyan says about that that can be misunderstood. But I think if you rightly explain it. It's a warning, but it should not cause anybody to fear that they've committed it, because the very fear that you have committed the unpardonable sin is the evidence that the Holy Spirit is still working, convicting you and so on. So before I lose my voice, I'll open it up. Anybody got any questions? Okay, so going to be a question of discernment. The assurance of faith is not measured by someone's faith, though you're justified by it. As in Romans chapter 4, now that we are justified by faith, and he basically uses the example of Abraham. It is given to him, as 1689 puts it, by the spirit to know the things of which are freely given, or given to him, of God. So with that being said, here's my question to follow up with that. When a teen gets converted, and this person has been saved for a while, because he hears the gospel from his parents, and he has an awakening in his young age, and he has that sort of Puritan experience, However though, this teen gets caught up in the ways of the world when he goes into high school, and he's getting caught up with his friends, he's getting caught up with girls and everything, and because of all this, because of all the sin that he's dealing with, this person feels like he's not saved anymore. So, with all this being said, how would you counsel this internet connection. Because I think it's so well worded in here. This, we'll leave out the word infallible, this assurance does not so belong to the essence of faith but that a true believer may wait long and conflict with many difficulties for he be a partaker of it. But true believers may have the assurance, and this is paragraph four, in many ways shaken, diverse ways shaken, Diminished and intermitted is by negligence and the preserving of it, by falling into some special sin which wounds the conscience and dreams of spirit, by some sudden or vehement temptation, by God's withdrawing the light of his countenance and suffering even such as fear him, to walk in darkness and have no light." So what happens is that God removes his comforting presence. But if If that person comes to you and you know that he's in a state of declension, but that he seems to maintain a good level of assurance, you tell him that you may in fact be a Christian, but you should not have an assurance of it because it's not safe for you to do so. And I'm going to quote Jonathan Edwards on this. No signs, signs that you were born again are to be expected. If you look for them, you're not supposed to expect to find them. You're talking about somebody who stayed at the Clinton. that shall be sufficient to enable those saints certainly to discern their own good estate, who are very low in grace, or are such as have much departed from God, or have fallen into a dead, carnal, and unchristian frame." Listen, it is not agreeable to God's design that such backslidden, declining, professing Christians It's not agreeable to God's design that such should know their good estate, nor is it desirable that they should. But on the contrary, every way best that they should not. He's not saying that they're not Christians. It's best that they should not have assurance of it. And we have reason to bless God that he has made no provision that such as certainly know the state that they are in any other way than by first coming out of the ill frame and the way they are in. He says the problem isn't in the signs of regeneration, the signs are still the same. It's that because of the obscurity, because of the darkness of his mind and the declension he is in, He can't properly read the signs and apply them to himself. And that's God's mercy to not allow him to do so as a safety mechanism to get him out of that sorry condition and on the right path. again. And I talked about this when we were dealing with mortification of sin that pain in the body and the nerves crying out that something is wrong is a warning sign and you don't stifle the pain and everything to shut its mouth up if it's trying to tell you that something is seriously wrong inside. And that's where lack of assurance has its place. And my fear is, and I'm going to get this on recording again, that there are books written that people who are in a sorry state, maybe not because of the fault of the author, take those books and apply it as a band-aid to the wound and they quickly apply 1 John one nine if we confess our sins he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins but they don't really probe the festering wound to the core and what will happen is it's going to be easier for them to continue in declension or to fall into the same sin in the future and that's how i would counsel them i would say uh in the judgment of charity i will take your side with you that you are a christian because i can't judge your heart but because of the care that I have of your soul, because I really care for you, brother. You cannot stay there and have any joy and peace, and you need to thank God that He has made us this way, that we are gonna have love, joy, and peace, and the fruit of the Spirit manifest if we're warring, if we're walking in this way, if we're running the race, if we have thrown these things off, especially if we're giving in As a pattern, I'm not saying you fall into sin, but as a pattern, and you find it easier and easier to do that, it's not safe that that person should know that he is in a state of great. And that's exactly what Edwards is saying here, and that's foreign to thinking in our day, and that's why I emphasize it, because John Owen talks about this over and over again. If you're in a really bad state of declension, minimally you're not going to have joy and peace. But second, while you are in that condition, you have no ultimate proof that sin does not have dominion over you, Romans 6 14. And sin will do what it wants to do, and that is to bring forth death. And I wanted to be a little bit full on it because I think you just, you guys asked good questions and that needed to be answered. Michael? You may have moved to this later. This is a really good question, because I can't say that I absolutely can apply every single character in the allegory to its proper meaning, because the Wicked Gate is salvation through Christ, so what does good will represent? And I was thinking of this, it may represent Christ in a different office. In other words, Christ is the gate, but he also welcomes the sinner. So you're maybe looking at different offices of Christ as a savior. Well, yeah, because since his name is Goodwill, wouldn't it represent God's goodwill to welcome sinners, something like that, right? Then the other thing was, this is very, something, I guess if we discuss the burden on Christian's back now that he is in the wicked gate on the narrow way, But why does he say, be content to bear? How do we apply that? Be content to bear the burden until... He's contrasting that to murmuring against God's providence that he doesn't alleviate the... There's a really excellent book and I just started re-narrating it and it's called A Child of Light Walking in Darkness by Thomas Goodwin. There's two different kinds of children of light walking in darkness. One is that he's in a state of declension and he has no light, meaning he has no assurance. But Goodwin is talking about assaults upon your assurance by the devil. And what's so amazing, Goodwin wrote that when he was 36 years old and yet it was so analytical and so well argued that it was kind of a standard that was used in the days of Puritans and I would have to believe them and he says be content to bear it is don't murmur against God. Not be passive. Right. Well and you and I have discussed this about my conversion. I could not say with dogmatism that September 18, 1986 was the day I got converted, but it was certainly the day that I got the highest level of assurance that I had ever gotten. I mean, there were signs that I certainly was believing and persevering before that. But for me to be able to have a Facebook page on Thoughts on Christian Experience and Assurance, or to be able to have the analytical skill that I hope that I'm getting from reading the books I read and teaching the books I teach, God was in His providence and sovereignty allowed me to bear that burden a lot heavier than many people. and a lot longer than many people. It's interesting that you don't have a lot of pastors, aspirants going through studying for the ministry, but this is a continual complaint that comes to me all the time. My pastor will talk to me for two sessions, and if I'm not help, he gives up, and I say, that's why you're talking to me, and I can't promise you I can help you, but I can certainly understand what you're going through that way, and we've gone an hour and a half, The only thing you were talking about, walking into temptation. Does that mean me making a decision to put myself in a position to be tempted? from the sin that's still within me. The two are definitely working together. You wouldn't even have a temptation to do it if sin was not dwelling in you, but you have to stay out of the places where you're giving it to fire that it's looking for to ignite. Owen is interested in the mortification of sin. He talks about there are sins that are more combustible and we are more aware of their power because they're not subtle at all. When this overcomes you, it's the fight of your life. But I can honestly say if you stay out of places where those temptations come, the fire can really be brought to to barely a spark. It would be, I mean, Michael knows this too, there are so many things on the internet, I just right click and just say, hide this, I don't wanna look at it, even on Facebook. But it doesn't happen as fast as it used to. In other words, I can shut it off and the fire hasn't yet ignited within me and it doesn't have the power it did. It used to when you would feed those things and That's becoming ad block or something. I mean, it's so hard to, there's so much of it so often. It's so hard to be completely consistent with all of it. Well, especially in the summer months. You know, you guys go to Friday After Five. I probably would have a trouble in an atmosphere like that because women tend to wear short shorts this time of year. But it is bad. I mean, the way that people dress there, it's like they go out there almost like they're supermodels or something. Yeah. Well, you cannot tell me some women don't feed off of men's looks. All right. Well, I'll close then.