Well, as it's already been intimated, it is a tricky subject that we're dealing with this morning. For those who are visitors, the Church is going through a series through 1 Corinthians. I haven't come with and actually chosen this topic. I accepted this invitation with fear and trepidation, even before I knew what text I was to preach on. I was thinking, Gilchriston is a large church, it's had a very fine tradition of Bible teaching back from the days of Willie Still, through to the present with Dominic, and I was thinking, who am I to take up this invitation? But I thought, okay, I'll go for it, it should be open. And when I got this text, I thought, oh no. So, it's here in scripture and it's very much here in our lives. It's a very applicable message. It's hard for me to preach on because I'm quite a private person. It's not something I would normally choose to preach on. But just trusting that the Lord sees that it's fit that we should exercise our minds and our spirits on this topic and deal with it faithfully. It's one of these passages in the New Testament that is dealing with marriage and it's important to understand why, first of all, why Paul wrote this. because it can appear at first to be quite a low view of marriage, somewhat one-dimensional, almost exclusively talking about sex as the only consideration for getting married. In 1 Corinthians, Paul is responding to a letter that he had received from the church in Corinth. We don't have that letter. We can only guess at its contents. from the reply that Paul gives us here. The passage is dealing with sexuality, whether to be celibate or to be married. It's not a treatise on marriage, but is responding to questions that may have come up in that letter, such as, should we remain married to a non-Christian spouse? Or how do we deal with Christians who regularly go and visit prostitutes? Is polygamy an option? Or would it not be better, in view of all the immorality in our world, that just to be clear and distinct that no Christians should marry at all? These are perhaps some of the questions that Paul was being asked. We can only guess at those questions from the response that he gives. So this passage isn't a statement about Christian marriage. It's answering specific concerns. To go to understand the more in-depth view about Christian marriage, we'd turn to Ephesians or Colossians. We're not going to do that. But Corinth was a very licentious place. Anything and everything went. It's very much like the world that we live in today. It's not difficult for us to be able to relate to that first century situation in Greece. Immorality was the norm. There was so much temptation and society liberally expressed their sexual freedoms, their inhibitions, their excesses. I'm not going to take a high moral line, because I think it sidelines the whole issue of what is essentially part of our human makeup. God created us to be man and woman. God gave sex as a divine gift within the context of a commitment, a faithful marriage. There's a sense of, let me just rephrase this. I just wanted you to bear with me as we go and unpack some of the main points that Paul draws out in this passage. Try and get some of the underlying principles. This is like establishing the law, the code, the practice. you might find yourself coming under condemnation as we look at this and feel, I have no place here, I have no place in God's plan and scheme for things. Because maybe you are divorced, maybe you are separated, maybe you're on your second or third marriage, maybe you've been in and out of relationships and you're thinking, help, there's no hope for me. So I want you to bear with me because I want to honestly deal with those issues later on. But first of all, I want to look at the principles, so just bear along with me. Some Christians in Corinth were saying it was better not to marry, that this was a way to be more devoted to God. And that's the idea behind this sort of Catholic priesthood and various monastic orders of seclusion from the world, from those of the opposite sex. Verse 1 says, now to matters you wrote about, it is good for a man not to marry. Paul's saying it is good. Note he's not saying it is better. It is good not to marry. For Paul, celibacy was his own preferred choice. In verse 8 he says, Now to the unmarried and the widows I say, it is good for them to stay unmarried as I am. So he is coming from the celibate standpoint and view. But he's saying it's a matter of choice, a matter of preference. Not that celibacy is better, But that celibacy is good, that there is a place for it. It is an alternative choice which might surprise us in our own age and culture where the overwhelming majority of people marry. But it is still a relevant choice for some today who choose to remain single. Furthermore, all Christians are called to be celibates until we marry. And for some, this could be for many years. So, in a way, this topic touches everybody at some point in their lives. There are others that through career choices and implications on their availability to marry have chosen to be single or have remained single. Maybe they are teachers very deeply committed to their professions or a missionary or a researcher or some sort of this that demands a lot of commitment and focus where maybe there isn't room for a partner in their life. Some single, not by choice, years go by in the hope that they might meet the right person, but that person doesn't come along. And often we see the negatives of remaining single, and it can be a cause of sadness, loneliness, dashed hopes. But we need to draw out the positives, as Paul is talking positively about celibacy. and think about the greater flexibility that in decision-making, that it's between you and God, it's not you and your spouse working it out and that can be quite a time-consuming process as you try to determine what God is saying to you as individuals and as a couple and as a family. As a single, it seems to be a much more straightforward process. There are less domestic responsibilities, distractions, more focused devotion to God. Last week I was up in the North Highlands and I was with a minister, 53 years old, never married. He didn't choose to be single but life worked out that way and God gave him grace and ability to function well as a single person. I saw the benefits of a man that could pour hours and hours over books way into two o'clock, three o'clock in the morning. He didn't have a wife shouting down the stairs saying, isn't it time you were in bed? This was a guy that had time to reflect and you could see the benefits of all that that desire for the Word of God and reading in it and around it and reflecting on it, how that benefited, how it still benefits the church that he serves. So, being single can have many positive things. Celibacy was given a high status by the Lord Jesus in Matthew 19, 11 and 12. He said it wasn't for everyone. He indicated that some are born that way without a sexual desire, that others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. And he added to this important sort of postscript, the one who can accept this should accept it. So he too was advocating the positives of being single, devoted, wholly committed to God. But celibacy obviously has its difficulties. And I would say that if you don't have a gift for celibacy, a gift for singleness, if you are particularly struggling in this area. But I also need to point out that so too does marriage offer up certain difficulties. It's a truism to say that it is better to remain single them to be married to the wrong person. If you are single today, you would have loved to have found somebody. Maybe still the Lord has got someone for you, but you're struggling. Just perhaps consider, you know, not all marriages are as good as we in our singleness often reflect on the positive attributes of marriage. Just look around and see. Those that are trapped in a difficult marriage, that are working it out day by day. And you might start to think, that's not so bad after all, being single. Paul is not commanding, by any means, for people not to marry. In fact, in 1 Timothy 4.3, Paul criticises cults who forbid people to marry. So he's saying, celibacy is good. It isn't better, it is good. But he goes on to advocate marriage, that marriage is God's will for most. He's acknowledging that we are sexual beings made deliberately this way by God. And in verse 2, he puts this forward. But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. So that's sort of answering the question about polygamy. It's one husband, one wife. Verse 3, the husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife and likewise the wife to her husband. So God has instated a divine union when he created Adam. And this was before Adam fell. He saw that there was something incomplete still in the man's life. Even though he walked in fellowship with God, there was still something missing. And so he created Eve as a gift, as a companion, that a man would walk with a woman in oneness and in completeness, in trust, fidelity and faithfulness. The Lord said, this is back in Genesis 2.18, it is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." So the next headline I want to draw up is that sex is a gift from God to be enjoyed between a married couple. A husband should fulfil his marital duty to his wife and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife's body does not belong to her alone, but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone, but also to his wife. So it's picking up on this one flesh concept of two uniting and becoming one life, of becoming a unit. Paul points out that there is a sexual responsibility to fulfil in marriage and not to deny the other, as this could lead to immorality that was endemic in Corinthian society. For example, if a husband withdraws himself and is no longer sexually engaging with his wife, the wife might be tempted to find by somebody that's showing favours and attention. She might start to yearn for a lover. Perhaps a more likely scenario is the wife constantly saying, I have a headache tonight. And this whole business of the intimacy in the bedroom being ignored leading to frustration. In Corinth, in those situations, there were so many brothels, so many prostitutes about, that the husband would go and find gratification elsewhere. And this is what Paul is writing into, he's saying marriage is holy, it is ordained of God. that man and woman are a gift to one another and sex is a beautiful expression of that intimacy between male and female. This looking elsewhere for sexual gratification was dealt with in the preceding passage, chapter 6. I'll just remind you of what it says, 15 and 16 of chapter 6. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never. Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, the two will become one flesh. So here we've got the sense of this oneness, this gift of sex that is to bind a man and a woman in a committed, loving relationship. So there's no place whatsoever for extra-marital sex. It's clearly a no-go area for the Christian. And next, Paul goes on to talk about one or two other items, and I'll just go through these quickly, and then we'll get on to the actual application. Verse 10 is talking about separation, 10 and 11. To the married I give this command, not I, but the Lord. A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife. So marriage is intended as a life commitment, faithful to one partner, because it's a holy union brought about by God, and it's a very solemn, serious thing to consider breaking it. but acknowledges that not all marriages work out, that for some, unhappily, it ends up in separation. But the implication of separation, which perhaps makes us a little bit more sober in considering whether to separate or not, is that the implication is that we are to remain single or to be reconciled again with the one from whom you have separated. This teaching agrees with what Jesus taught on the matter back in Matthew 19, 4-8, that God joins a husband and a wife together, they become one, and no man should try to separate that union of man and woman in marriage. But then the Pharisees say to Jesus in response that Moses allowed divorce, to which Jesus replies, Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. So Jesus is going above the law to go back to what the institution of Adam and Eve coming together as portraying marriage. Going back, this is the ideal. This is what we are to aim for. We're not looking for escape routes and divorce. We are to have a holy commitment to our marriage partner. Next topic comes up in verses 12 to 13. What about being married to a non-believer? I'll just read those verses to the rest. I say this, I, not the Lord, if any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. This was possibly an issue amongst the Jewish Christians there. They were concerned about their distinctiveness, their separateness from the pagan world around them. It might have been going back to that period when the exiles returned from Babylon with Ezra, and Ezra ordered the Jews to separate from their pagan husbands and wives. because it was for that very reason, this intermarriage, this acceptance of pagan beliefs that drove Israel into the judgment of God and into exile. And so maybe they're thinking, I'm a Christian, but my husband or wife isn't. Should I be still married to them? That's probably the issue that is being addressed there. Maybe it's an issue that we perhaps ask ourselves if your spouse is not a believer. they criticise you, it can cause a lot of hurt and upset. You're not able to share what is very deep and intimate in your life and your trust and the love that you receive from God with your partner. But we are called to honour that commitment even though the spouse doesn't share the same belief. So there's the principle. The unbelieving spouse is willing to live with you, then there are no grounds for separation. And in verses 15 to 16, it says, if the unbelieving partner wants to separate, then there are grounds for separation. So that was sort of unpacking the teaching that we find here in 1 Corinthians 7, what Paul has to address about marital concerns of the Corinthian Christians. Now I really want to come to the application of this. Clearly our own times are not that different from the situation we find in first century Corinth. There is rampant immorality, there's temptation I would say, much greater today than back then. It's not just prostitutes, but pornography assails us. It's not just at top shelf level. but it's through the media, through sexy advertising, through music, through sports, the internet. It's very hard to remain closed, indifference and morally pure in this seething world of corruption. But let us not lose sight in the midst of this about sexual passion. Sexual passion isn't wrong. It is the gift of God. He made us male and female. It is not devilish, the original intention, and we must not lose sight of that, otherwise we become prudish and judgmental. We're called to enjoy this gift that God has given us in all its fullness within marriage. We live in a very fallen society, and there's several here that may have come from very broken relationships and marriages, where there's perhaps been cruelty, unfaithfulness. Maybe there's been severe abuse emotionally, sexually, physically, physical violence. We who stand in good wholesome marriages are not to stand in judgment over those who have been shipwrecked on the rocks and been through most horrendous experiences. They deserve our understanding and our empathy. And if we're in a good marriage, then give thanks and praise to God. Because it's through his blessing, it's through his grace that we are who we are. Maybe for others, you haven't been so much the victim, but you have lived a self-centered life, seeking whatever suits you, slave to your passions and circumstances. And maybe you are here this morning because you want to work through that messiness, that there, in spite of experimentation, there is still fundamental, unfulfilled desires and needs in your life, that all sexual activity and exploration has not brought you to that place of peace and fulfilment and affirmation. In this passage that we looked at, we are presented with the ideal model to aim for. These are the high standards, holy standards that we're called to live up to. But life is not always like that. And maybe it is an act of God's favour that maybe you are here this morning because you have fallen in this area and you want to try and work through it and find out whether God is for you and whether there is forgiveness beyond all the messiness and the brokenness that you've been through. All of us get it wrong. And if we don't fall sexually in this area, we have fallen in other ways. We are sinful in mind and attitude. We might not have committed any adulterous acts, but there are times when there is the temptation. And who are we to judge those that have yielded to that temptation, whose lives are a very visible testimony to wrong choices that have been made? If you're in that position of having fallen, that your life is messy, I want to refer you to David, because King David committed adultery. And it led not only to him taking another man's wife, but he assassinated that wife's husband. He got it wrong big time, but God pointed out his error. David repented, and he found renewed favour and relationship with the Lord once more. I also want you to consider three encounters that Jesus had with women who fell short of the mark. The woman caught in adultery. Jesus didn't condemn her as the crowd wanted to condemn her, but he said to them, whoever doesn't have sin, let him cast the first stone. They wanted to stone her to death. That was their indignation with what she had done. But as you know from the passage, her accusers left one by one because they found in their own hearts, hearts that were not clean. They could not judge. And Jesus forgave the woman caught in adultery and said, go and sin no more. Well, what of the sinful woman who came into Simon the Pharisee's home? And she wept for her sins because of all the brokenness that she'd been through, and saw in the Lord something holy and pure, as one who can forgive and remake her. She wept tears onto his feet. She washed his feet with her tears and her hair, and she pours ointment and beautiful perfume onto Jesus' feet. Now, Simon the Pharisee is really indignant. He's saying, if this man is a prophet, he would know what sort of woman is doing this to him. Now, Jesus knew exactly who she was, and he allowed her to express this repentance through this act of anointing with perfume. And lastly, consider the Samaritan woman by the well. She'd been through five partners in life and she was now on to the sixth relationship and wasn't married. Christ knew all this about her and yet he did not move off from the well, but he chose to engage with her. Far from condemning her, he sees her need for intimacy. And that intimacy is a spiritual longing to find her place and peace with God. I've come to the conclusion. It's this spiritual intimacy known to many of us through the act of lovemaking that is an earthly pointer towards a spiritual intimacy possible with God. When you think of the fulfillment of making love, the sense of togetherness, the oneness, the peace, the extreme harmony, that sense of transcendence, it points to a higher spiritual reality. And this is why Paul advocates celibacy, that that which the world is looking through for sex, that we as Christians in marriage can enjoy through matrimony, is something that is for the believer to engage with in God at a deep, intimate level of knowing fundamental, deep, intimate fellowship and great oneness with God. Some of us maybe have had glimpses of that great intimacy through the Spirit. Philip Leansi comments, rather than positioning sexuality and spirituality against each other as rivals, I see them as deeply related. The more I observe our society's obsession with sexuality, the more I sense in it a thirst for transcendence. So spirituality and sexuality, we see, are very closely intertwined. We've seen the principles that are to guide and to govern us. We see that in this great intimacy, it is a gift from God to be cherished, but a gift that is pointing to something even higher, to that oneness that we can have through Christ with God our Father. Let's pray.