Lord Jesus, you promised to build your church, and that is an amazing promise. So we pray that you would do that here at CFPC, even this afternoon, even through our attempts to obey your word, after we hear this talk and just think about this topic this afternoon. Lord, build this church. Spirit, help us, help me, we pray in Jesus' name, amen. So to begin, I'd like to read a modern parable about body parts who are at the same church together. And there's a lot of, a lot of puns if you're paying attention. So Nose and Hand were sitting in the church pew talking. The morning service led by ear and mouth had just ended and Hand was telling Nose that he and his family had decided to look for a different church. Really, Nose responded to Hand's news. Why? Oh, I don't know, Hand said, looking down. He was usually slower to speak than other members of the church body. I guess because the church doesn't have what Mrs. Hand and I are looking for. Well, what are you looking for in a church? Nose asked. Hand had to think before answering. He and Mrs. Hand liked Pastor Mouth and his family. Well, I guess we're looking for a place where people are more like us. Hand finally stammered. We tried spending time with the legs, but we didn't connect with them. Next, we joined the small group for all the toes. But they kept talking about socks and shoes and odors, and that didn't interest us. Nose looked at him this time with genuine dismay. Aren't you glad they're concerned with odors? Sure, sure, sure, but it's not for us. Then we attended the Sunday school for all you facial features. Do you remember? We came for several Sundays a couple months ago. It was great to have you. Thank you. But everyone just wanted to talk and listen and smell and taste. It felt like, well, it felt like you never wanted to get to work and get your hands dirty. Anyway, Mrs. Hand and I were thinking about checking out that new church over on the east side. We hear they do a lot of clapping and hand raising, which is closer to what we need right now. Hmm, Nose replied, I see what you mean. We'd hate to see you go. But I guess you have to do what's good for you." At that moment, Mrs. Hand, who had been caught up in another conversation, turned back to join her husband and Nose. Hand briefly explained what he and Nose had been talking about, after which Nose repeated his sadness at the prospect of losing the hands. But he again said he understood, since it sounded like their needs weren't being met. Mrs. Hand nodded in agreement. She wanted to be polite, but truth be told, she wasn't sad to be leaving. Mrs. Hand knew their daughter, Pinky, was not comfortable with the youth group. Everyone was so different from her. She felt out of joint. Mrs. Hand then said something about how much she appreciated Nose and the leadership, but the conversation had already run on too long for Nose. Besides, her perfume made him want to sneeze. He thanked Mrs. Hand for her encouragement, repeated that he was sorry to hear of their departure, and then turned and walked away. Who needed the hands? Apparently, they didn't need him. So the topic assigned to me this afternoon is what do you do when you feel like you don't know anyone at church? Obviously, without the context of a specific person or a specific situation, it could be difficult to think about or interpret answering this question, how to answer it. But I think overall, it seems like the question is asked in a self-focused way, perhaps mistakenly assuming it's all about you. perhaps blaming others, and probably implying discontentment. Maybe you felt some of these things at times, or maybe you're feeling them now. But regardless, what I hope will be fruitful this afternoon is to turn this question around and spend our time together thinking about the responsibility that each of us has to pursue, love, and disciple each other as members here at CFPC, as well as spend a little bit of time thinking about discontentment. So even if this is all very familiar to you, I hope it will still be helpful. Second Peter 112 says, so I will always remind you of these things, even though you know them and are firmly established in the truth you now have. I know for me preparing for this message, I was very personally convicted of wanting to grow in a lot of these areas. Sophie, that's true for you as well. But first a couple initial thoughts. Number one, the question as asked has an implied assumption that members of a local church should in fact know each other. in a minute more on why this is good and right, and more importantly, biblical. Number two, most members of CFPC do, in fact, know the other members of CFPC very well, and praise God for that. However, caveat A, that still doesn't mean all of us don't have moments or seasons when we either wish others would pursue us more and or we don't feel like pursuing others. Caveat B, Here at CFPC, we currently have a much higher than typical percentage of new members as well as visitors, and praise God for that. We had 16 people at the June 4th membership class who are considering membership here at CFPC. So when their membership interviews are completed, Lord willing, they'll be formally welcomed into membership over the next month. Importantly, for those of us who've been members here longer, that means we have a special responsibility to welcome and pursue these new members and ensure they're part of the formal and informal life of our church. So now, let's dive in and begin to think about how you can feel connected to our congregation, not just have your name on a members list. Of course, we all want to belong, to be a part, to feel that we're contributing, but how do you do that here at CFPC, especially since we're not a church, a lot of programs or committees or whatever? So, if you look at your handout, that first point, point number two, it's not about you. I wanted to begin with this point that it's not about you, because even though I think we get this idea here at CFPC, this idea is very counter-cultural, to state the obvious. And it's also counter to our own sin and selfishness. So I think it's worth a few minutes of our time and attention. So sub-point A, we need each other as part of the same body. We need each other as part of the same body. So turn with me, if you would, to 1 Corinthians chapter 12, one of several texts we'll look at today. And this is a passage you're probably familiar with. It's about Christians being members of the same body. It's the passage that the modern parable I began with was taken from, based on that text loosely. If you're there in 1 Corinthians 12, look down at verses 18 through 21, which I'll read here briefly. 1 Corinthians 12, 18 to 21. It says, but now God has placed the members, each one of them, in the body just as he desired. If they were all one member, where would the body be? But now there are many members, but one body. And the eye cannot say to the hand, I have no need of you. Or again, the head to the feet, I have no need of you. So just like the individual parts of your body can't survive on their own, in a local church, we need each other for spiritual survival, which leads to sub-point B, We're saved into a body, or also it's called a family, a household, a people, many other different analogies we see in the New Testament. But as you read the New Testament, it's impossible to answer that question, what is a Christian, without talking about the local church. When we're saved, we're not just reconciled to God himself, we're also reconciled to God's people, the church, which again, the New Testament calls a body, a family, a temple, a household, a bride or lady and her children, just to name a few. So one other passage that it'd be good to actually turn to and look at for yourself is Ephesians chapter two. So if you have your Bible, look at Ephesians chapter two. And as we look at a few verses in this chapter, we see that salvation has implications for the human relationships, in this case, between Jews and Gentiles, as well as between all Christians, again, among ourselves, not just between us and God. So if you turn to Ephesians 2, verses 14 to 16, and this is a glorious chapter on the gospel and a glorious book on the gospel, but here started in 2.14, Paul says, for he, talking about Christ himself as our peace, who made both groups, again, that's talking about Jews and Gentiles, into one and broke down the barrier of the dividing wall by abolishing in his flesh the enmity, which is in the law of commandments containing ordinances. so that in himself he might make the two into one new man, thus establishing peace, and might reconcile them both in one body to God through the cross by having put to death the enmity. So before you were a Christian, you were an enemy of God and of each other. Again, both a vertical and a horizontal relationship that Paul's talking about in this passage. But now that you are a Christian, we're reconciled not only to God himself, that vertical relationship, but also to each other horizontally. So this truth of being saved into a people has massive implications that we certainly don't have time to cover all of this afternoon. But one thing that you may have already noticed is all the one another commands in the New Testament. So that was a separate handout that hopefully you picked up on your way in, if you just want to look over them, maybe even after the talk today. There's over 50 of them total in the New Testament, these one another commands, and 12 alone are just commands to simply love one another. So the question, as you look over these commands, is how exactly, or more to the point, where exactly or with whom exactly do we obey all of these commands? And to get to that answer, I think another why question, why in Galatians 6.10 does Paul say, let us do good to all people and especially to those who are the household of faith? I think because as members of a local church, we're not only part of the same body, we're committed to each other or covenanted together in a very unique and special way. So I think the main people we do all this one-anothering with is the other members of our local church. So remember as well, most of the letters in the New Testament, including the ones where most of these one-another commands are taken from, were not written to individual Christians on their own, or just Christian churches in general, but to specific Christian churches in specific places. So another way to say this is when you're saved, you are instantly part of the capital C Church, or it's often called the Church Universal or Universal Church. But practically, this is demonstrated in your active participation in a specific local church. So if the first is truth, then the second is proof. This is also what makes part of your being part of the universal church tangible to the world and to others. Which leads us to sub-point C. The ultimate purpose of the church is not my fulfillment, but God's glory. So it's very common to sometimes feel like church isn't meeting your needs. And however common this might be, we have to recognize that for what it is. Basically a selfish demand that the church serve me. Again, mistaking, thinking it's all about you. But the biblical reason for church is not ultimately to surround us with social relationships in which we find fulfillment. Its ultimate purpose is to glorify God by showing off his power in a diverse community of united and loving believers. So this is most clear, I think, in Ephesians 2 and 3, those whole chapters. But to zoom in, if you're still there in your Bible, on one verse, which, again, hopefully you're familiar with, if you look at Ephesians 3.10, it says, so that the manifold wisdom of God might now be known, be made known, excuse me, through the church to the rulers and the authorities in the heavenly places. So a great way to fight this idea that it's all about you is to remember that we are not the most important thing. God is, him showing off his glory. So now sub point three, the where or the who of love for others, or sorry, point three, the local church. So we already looked at obeying the one another commands primarily toward other members of our local church and how over 12 of those commands are to love one another. And we know the local church is really people, right? It's not a place or a building primarily. So that's why it's better to think of this really as a who of the love for others, not really where. And I'll just say, it's great to get involved serving in a particular way, meeting practical needs. Thankful for how many of our members do that so faithfully here at CFPC. But don't ever let what you do for CFPC be your main way you identify or feel connected with the church. Rather, your connection to CFPC should be defined most clearly by how you know and love and are known and loved by all sorts of people in the congregation. Not just people like you, but people very different from you. So in the local church, our relationships should look, and they actually are radically different from the way the world loves. Think of it, we're all part of a family. We're not volunteer help. So that sounds nice, but it can also be pretty vague. Let's dive in more and think about what this actually looks like. So sub point A, love for others is the normal, visible mark of those who love Christ. At its most basic, your connections to CFBC should look as much as possible like the kind of love we see described among God's people in the Bible. There we read of Christians loving people who are very different from themselves, and even inconveniencing themselves, primarily because they have a shared love for Christ. So let's look at a few more passages, and the references are listed there in your handout, so you can either turn there or just listen as I read. First Thessalonians 2, 7, and 9. First Thessalonians 2, 7, and 9, it says, But we proved to be gentle among you, as a nursing mother tenderly cares for her own children. Having so fond an affection for you, we were well pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God, but also our own lives, because you had become very dear to us. For you recall, brethren, our labor and hardship, how working night and day so as not to be a burden to any of you, we proclaimed to you the gospel of God. So here we read about the kind of connection that comes from sharing our lives together, helping one another, and spending time together with the deliberate aim of encouraging one another in the faith. The New Testament in general, but especially the writings of John, describe this visible love for one another as normal among all believers. So Jesus himself talked in the Gospel of John, chapter 15, about the joy of deliberate mutual love and how that would mark those who are loved by him and who are following him. So another chapter worth turning to, if you have your own Bible open, John chapter 15. If you look at verse nine through 12 of chapter 15, we're gonna look at a lot more verses in this chapter. John 15, nine to 12, Jesus says, just as the father has loved me, I have also loved you. Abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love. Just as I have kept my father's commandments and abide in his love. These things I've spoken to you so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be made full. This is my commandment that you love one another just as I have loved you. And later in his first letter, the Apostle John reminds his readers of Christ's teaching there in John 15 during the Last Supper teaching. So I'm going to read 1 John 3, 14 to 19, not 16 to 20 like your handout says. So here's 1 John 3, 14 to 19. John says, we know that we have passed out of death into life, in other words, we know that we're actually a Christian, because we love the brethren. He who does not love abides in death, or is actually not a Christian. Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him. We know love by this, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. But whoever has the world's goods and sees his brother in need and closes his heart against him, how does the love of God abide in him? Little children, let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth. We will know by this that we are of the truth and will assure our heart before him in whatever our hearts condemn us. So one thing is certainly clear from these passages. Christians are visibly marked as those who love Christ based in large part on the way they love one another. Again, it's great to serve the church and personal repentance and individual faith are vital if we're to see God and know him. But how does that internal reality show itself on the outside? Well, scripture says it shows itself perhaps most clearly by our love for specific other Christians, mainly the other members of our local church. And that's how scripture says we know that we belong to the truth. And it's an assurance of salvation kind of passage, right? So sub point B, some practical ideas of how to love others. We also realize this kind of unstructured approach can seem really daunting to many people. It's easier if we had a church, we had a lot of programs, you could just sign up for something and sort of check the box, right? I get that. But let me suggest a few other ways you can begin to build these kinds of encouraging relationships at CFPC. And again, praise God, most of you already do most or many of these things. But number one would be just to stay around after services. So one very simple step is to not only prioritize the main Sunday service, and hopefully Wednesday night as well, but then just stay around afterwards. This is a great time for members to stay around and talk, speak to visitors and people you don't know, and make initial connections with other members. Certainly this can be awkward at times, but please stay around anyway and make an effort to talk to others you don't know. Next, join a care group. So this could be another helpful step, joining a care group. Again, most of you know these follow the academic year calendar, so care groups for the fall should be announced very soon here. But as helpful as care groups may be at their best, care groups are not relational cul-de-sacs or dead ends that define and frankly end your integration into the congregation. They should be on-ramps or not off-ramps is another way to say it. A welcoming first step to help you continue to build broader and deeper relationships within the congregation. So we all have to start somewhere and many people do find these groups an encouraging and manageable starting point. Next, offer and accept hospitality. So throughout the Bible, one of the things that regularly marks God's people is their hospitality. And again here, admittedly, some folks may feel awkward about being the one to invite people over, especially when you're new, or maybe if you're single, whatever. But this too should be normal. So we hope members will reach out to new members, but also new members will step up and invite longer term members. and other new members over for a meal or out for activity from the very early days of their membership. So living these kinds of open lives together is a big part of how we create and sustain a hospitable culture of gospel community. And finally, initiate or accept a discipleship relationship or discipling relationship. Almost certainly the best way to connect at CFPC is to initiate or accept an offer to establish an intentional discipling relationship. And this is important enough, I wanted to spend a lot more time on it in our next point. But in brief, I'll just say one of the clearest ways that we love, sorry, that the love we read about in John 15 and other similar passages, this love is made visible as we intentionally set out to do each other spiritual good in discipling relationships. So it's fun to have friendships based on shared interests or hobbies or experiences, but it's wonderfully glorifying to God to have friendships based fundamentally on our desire to encourage one another in the hope of the gospel. The kinds of relationships where we intentionally set out to study scripture together or read a good Christian book or to talk about this week's sermon, all with the aim of encouraging each other to hope and trust more in God, are what we're aiming for here. So as a new member of the church, you don't have to sign up for anything or get permission to approach another member to establish a disciplinary relationship. Again, we hope that's just normal. But let's think more in depth about this. If you look at the other side of your handout there, point four, the where and who of discipleship. And again, I have the local church as the who. So most of you are probably familiar with Jesus' command to make disciples in the Great Commission, right? At the end of Matthew 28. But again, how or where or really with whom does this happen? I think the Bible teaches clearly that the local church is God's plan A for how the Great Commission happens. And this is not just the work of pastors or elders. Every Christian is called by God to contribute to the disciple-making work of the church, again, through deliberate and mutually encouraging relationships. So our deliberate love and spiritual care for each other will build up the body of Christ at CFPC, make the work of the gospel more visible in our lives, and ultimately bring glory to God. Of course, in one sense, almost everything we do as a local church is about being and making disciples. The songs we sing, the prayers we pray, and certainly the sermons preached, they all aim to grow us as God-glorifying disciples. And of course, I should mention as well, our two regular meetings, which you're likely already aware of, where discipleship is the main goal, the Friday morning men's group and also the monthly Women Apples of Gold group. But a crucial component of discipling is individual relationships within the church, which is what I really want to focus on for the rest of this point. what you might call a culture of discipleship, even. We just read Jesus' command to love each other as I have loved you, but there's a lot more in John 15. So we're going to briefly look at several other things in that chapter, again, if you still have it open or want to turn back there. So John 15 teaches at least five things about Christ's love for his people. all of which are examples that we should follow. And those five things we'll look at is Christ's love is intentional, it's purposeful, it's relational, it's joyful, and it's normal. So first, Christ's love is intentional. If you look at John 15, 16a, he says, you do not choose me, but I chose you. Jesus didn't merely stumble across his disciples, he took loving initiative toward them. So Christ-like love is not passive, it takes initiative. Second, it's purposeful as well. If you look at the second half of John 15-16, he says, "...and appointed you to go and bear fruit, fruit that will last." So Christ's love for his disciples is purposeful. He has something in mind that they would bear fruit for God's glory. Christ's love is not merely sentimental. It has a wonderful, God-glorifying agenda. So as finite and fallen men and women, our love for other members of CFPC will, of course, have less certain effects. We're not the Lord Jesus. But if we're to love one another as Christ has loved us, surely we'll at least have an agenda with similar intent. The spiritual good of our friend and God's glory through their joy in the gospel. So number three, Christ's love is relational. If you look at verse nine, he says, as the Father has loved me, so I have loved you. And also in verse 15a, Jesus said, instead, I've called you friends. So Jesus is clear, his relationship with his people is one of loving friendship. Even though he's infinitely far above us in majesty, holiness, and honor, surely then if we are to love our fellow fallen humans after the pattern of Christ's love for us, we have to relate to them as loving friends. We must not treat them merely as projects or as master or student, master and student. We should pour out our very lives for one another's good in Christ-like loving relationships. Number four, Christ's love is joyful. So you look at verse 11 there. Jesus said, I've told you this so my joy may be in you and your joy may be complete. So Jesus's purpose in his instruction to love one another is that we would know his joy. So caring for other Christians and purposely setting out to encourage them to grow in grace may be very hard work, but it's wonderful work. And according to Christ, it's joy producing work. And finally, and fifthly, it's normal. So in verse 12, Jesus makes this kind of loving discipling his basic command to all his people, all Christians, and thus normal for all Christians. So this idea that basic Christian discipleship involves encouraging other believers is found all throughout God's word. Just a few other examples. First, Hebrews 3.13 says, but encourage one another daily as long as it is called today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness. And Romans 12.10 says, be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. And finally, First Thessalonians 5.11 says, therefore, encourage one another and build each other up. Just as, in fact, you are doing. And we could keep going on and on with several other similar passages. But the point is one of the main concerns of the New Testament writers is that all Christians in various churches would be active in encouraging one another in the faith. That's why, as members of CFPC, help build a culture of discipling only as you both let members get to know you and work to get to know other members and of course with the biblical goal of encouraging and being encouraged so let's all pray and work together so that discipling one another is an obvious characteristics of our church here at cfbc not merely a program or activity but a basic part of the fabric of our community and let's all pray and work for a culture where it's simply normal for members, out of love for Christ and one another, to take initiative and build these kinds of relationships with other members, again, all with the deliberate aim of doing them spiritual good, and where accountability and transparency are strategized about and delighted in as good things. Now, at the risk of beating a dead horse on the centrality of the local church here, which you can see is a big theme throughout this talk, I would say your love for the church and the specific individuals of whom it's composed should make the local church your first focus for discipling. So other discipling venues might not be wrong, but discipling within the local church is clearly optimal. So my opinion is that even when we think about good parachurch ministries like Bible Study Fellowship or Navigators or others, I think they've mostly thrived, honestly, because discipleship is not happening in local churches. So don't mishear me. I'm not saying these ministries are bad, but I would say the goal of any good parachurch ministry should be to help and not replace the local church. The church is the only thing that Jesus said he would build, and the only thing he said the gates of hell won't overpower. And the church was established in part to foster discipling relationships. So, it's there in the local church that we should get started. One other text that shows this, I think fairly clearly, is in Hebrews 10. So if you look at those verses towards the end of the chapter, Hebrews 10, 23 to 25, you can notice that when the author tells us how to encourage, sorry, how to consider how we could spur each other on to love and good deeds, his very next thought is that we should not give up assembling together. And by the way, the Greek word ekklesia, which means assembly, is the main word in the New Testament that's translated as church over a hundred times. So again, I think a parachurch ministry can never be an assembly in the same way that a local church can. But whether you're turned there to Hebrews 10 or you just want to listen, Hebrews 10, 23 to 25 says this. Let us hold fast to confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, not forsaking our assembling together as is in the habit of some, but encouraging one another and all the more as you see the day drawing near. And I think if you study that text, it seems like the context is a local church. But let's move on now to some practical ideas of how to pursue discipleship. So if you've decided to focus your effort on building discipling relationships, how do you get started? Well, to consider this, we could think about three simple parts, who, when, and what. So who will you invest your time in? When will the two of you get together? And what will you do during that time together? Fairly simple. So first, who? Who should you invest your time into? So there's many important considerations you should take into account here. Who do you already know at CFPC? Who do you think you might best be able to encourage? And what are the greatest needs in the church? All of these are the kinds of good questions you might ask. But much of the point of this whole talk is to help you see more of the benefit of investing in the lives of other people here in our local church. And one of the best things you can do is simply work to deliberately establish these relationships here at CFPC. So look for new folks that may not yet have people to talk to on Sundays. Strike up a conversation. Get to know people that are working alongside you in ministry or in your care group. And my advice is not to worry too much about who the disciple-er and the disciple-ee is. We all have the spirit and we all need each other in various ways. At the end of the day, there's not a formula to answer this question of who. You just need to decide you do want to start meeting up with someone and intentionally have spiritually encouraging conversation and just do it. So next, the when and the where. So when should you meet up with this person? Well, inevitably that's going to be a function of your own unique schedule, obviously. Certainly it should be often enough to allow for helpful and meaningful accountability. If you only see someone every two or three months, probably that's not going to allow for the kind of regular input into each other's lives that would serve each other's spiritual growth. Most people find it useful to get together at least every two weeks or at the very least once a month. But if you're not, by the way, if you're not sure where the other members live, feel free to shoot me an email. I'm nerdy enough to have made our members directory into a Google Maps file that I'm happy to share. And just think about obvious things, like if you live in West County, it might be challenging to have a regular relationship with someone way over on the Illinois side, right? But finally, the what. This could be the hardest thing sometimes that might prevent you from getting started. What should you do in an end of cycle relationship? Again, generally, simply being intentional about loving one another in the best, highest, and most biblical way, deliberately setting out to relate to one another, the aim of doing each other spiritual good, is really the main point. And specifically, I think it's safe to say, the most significant aspects of any disciple in a relationship are not what you do or when you meet, but that you do something, and that biblical truth is at its core. So read a book, discuss a sermon, pray together through the CFPC directory, There's no required curriculum or book to go through. You have tons of good options, so it's your responsibility to just pick one. Be creative, be flexible, but just do something. Maybe you're thinking this all sounds great so far, but if all of us are really honest, this is hard, right? So if you turn to the back of your handout, I wanted to close our time by thinking briefly about discontentment in the church and some challenges to love and discipleship. So discontentment. That's something we certainly all struggle with at one time or another. But when it comes to the church, I think we all know there's no perfect church out there, right? There's this great Spurgeon quote, I forgot to look up for this talk, but he says, if there were a perfect church and I joined it, it wouldn't be perfect anymore. So that's definitely true for all of us, right? But discontentment with the church can be especially difficult if you've ever experienced that, and you probably all have. So we might define discontentment as a longing for something better than our present situation. There can be godly discontentment. For we know for a fact this world is broken by sin and should be better. But there can be, and often is, sinful discontentment, where we're basically refusing to trust God's goodness and thank him for his provision, and instead demanding more than what he's ordained. So sub-point A, briefly, how discontentment can be wrong and harmful. So discontentment can lead to complaining and grumbling. This is fairly obvious. But one passage where Paul warns us against that is Philippians 2, 14 and 15. He says, do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world. So don't complain or grumble in anything ever. That's what scripture says very clearly, right? Discontentment can not only lead to complaining, but to discord. So when we're unhappy with something, we're often tempted to talk about it and criticize, sometimes even rally support and try to get other people to see things from our point of view. And no matter if you might have some virtue or a good point with your initial concern, this type of behavior can quickly cause factions and dissension within the church. And in Galatians 5.20, Paul lists that as just as serious a sin as idolatry, witchcraft, and fits of rage when he writes about the acts of the sinful nature in Galatians 5.20. So finally, discontentment really just distracts us from what really matters. So Ephesians 5.16 commands us as individuals and as a church to make the most of every opportunity. So it distracts us from that. But instead of complaining, discord, and distraction, we want to be able to say with Paul, like he does in Philippians 4.11, I've learned to be content in whatever situation I am. But what if, sub-point B, the church has disappointed my expectations for fellowship and growth? What if you feel like you're trying your best, but you still lack fellowship? You feel like you don't belong. You feel like you aren't growing spiritually. Maybe you've been a member of the church for a while, and you're still finding it difficult to make good friends. Maybe you want to serve, but no one seems to recognize it. Or you can't serve in the way you feel most gifted. Maybe you're frustrated with the dating scene in the church. How do you deal with this kind or these kinds of discontentment? Well, first and foremost, the gospel tells us we're completely unable to do anything of value in our own strength. And that includes responding to discontentment. So remember Psalm 121, which says, I lift my eyes up to the hills and from where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord who made heaven and earth. So our first guideline is to pray and cry out for God's mercy. And as you pray, it's important to examine your own heart and determine whether these feelings stem from selfish and ungodly desires. Confess and repent of those that are sinful and ask the hard questions. Are there things I need to do differently to experience better fellowship in the church or to take advantage of opportunities to grow? Ask that of yourself as well as of others that know you and that you trust to receive their counsel and input. Some quick examples. Maybe you're unhappy because some people are better friends with a particular member than you are. Well, what's at the root of that discontentment? Is it because you covet what seems to you to be a special status of the friendship? Is it because you're jealous of a friendship that seems so close? Ask God to identify sin in your life like this and confess it as sin. and think hard about the root problem of the desires behind your emotions and apply the gospel. So a few more specific examples. Are you putting your hope in people's approval rather than Christ's provision for you? Well, the gospel declares that God's approval of you in Christ is sufficient. Are you frustrated that seemingly no one in church understands your struggles and your desire to be heard? Well, the gospel declares God sees you, knows you, forgives you and guides you. Are you discontent because you feel you deserve better treatment than you received? Again, remember the gospel is called to lay down your life and your rights for the sake of Christ. So next, after you've prayed and examined your heart, pursue appropriate action steps. So this could involve talking to an elder to get his thoughts on what you should do. And if you're struggling to make relationships, there are likely many other people that feel the same way. So take initiative and reach out to them and be a friend to them. God can satisfy your good desires, but sometimes he does this in a way different than what we had planned. But be ready for God to answer your prayers, even in surprising ways. Let me add one other thing on this subject. Most of what this battle entails is training our minds to understand the many benefits and blessing God has in his kindness given us in the church. But sadly, too often we receive one blessing after another, and then take it for granted, toss it aside, and look for more. All the while, as we're crying out for something else, there's this growing pile of blessings rising up over us that we're ignoring. So pray God would train us to see all the blessings he's already given us in the church, and that will affect our heart and attitude in areas of discontentment. That said, there could come a time when you find a particular church, despite its grounding in God's word, isn't a place where you're growing spiritually. So what should you do in that situation? Well, talk to others around you after you've prayed and confessed any sin, let the elders know, Seek wisdom and counsel. The last thing you should do is decide on your own that you need a different church, only perhaps to discover the same root issues coming up in your new church home. So when you do talk to someone, remember to be careful how you discuss your discontentment. Don't let it become a cause for discord or dissension within the larger body of Christ. So finally, another cause for discontentment is simply a dislike of other church members. So sub-point C, what if I have a hard time liking other church members? Maybe it's an issue of envy or rivalry. You resent the blessings God has lavished on someone else. Or maybe it's a basic feeling of discomfort. Someone behaves in a way radically different from what you're accustomed to. How do you work through discontentment in areas like this? Well, first to state the obvious, remember you are a sinner and loving other sinners is hard. Christian love is hard. Love begins with our hearts and our hearts are the hardest place of all because we're sinners. So why are there so many exhortations in the New Testament for Christians to love each other? Well, I think because we need to be told again and again to do this. In our flesh, we prefer ease to a hard conversation, right? We prefer relaxing to serving. We prefer having our needs met to giving our preferences up. And the people we're called to love are sinners too. They let us down, they say awkward and insensitive things, they might resist your counsel, which incidentally should help us appreciate how patient and merciful Christ is with us because we do the same. But while Christian love can be difficult and is difficult, we can show such love because of God's grace. As 1 John 4, 19 says, we love because God first loved us. So here too, though, begin with prayer. Pray God would change your heart. Confess any sin to God and seek his forgiveness. Recognize a desire to not love someone is sin. It's not something we can brush aside as mere incompatibility. Learn to pray for people, even whom you dislike, that God would bless and mature them. And consider that these individuals though broken and imperfect today, are being transformed in Christ's likeness with ever-increasing glory. Loving those we find uncomfortable is not easy, but as members of the same church, this is hugely important because it's through these types of relationships that God is the most glorified. And third, consider God's love for those who are hard to like. So strive to see the church and everyone in it the way God does. That means we should view others through lenses of love, not disappointment or suspicion. Again, the gospel is crucial here. It reminds us that in Christ, God has lavished his riches of forgiveness on us in spite of our sin. And as we grow in the understanding of his depth of grace, it'll fill our hearts with gratitude and we can begin to see others the way he sees them, as treasured saints whom he has washed, cleansed, and renewed. They're not our enemies, but our dear brothers and sisters. Yes, they may misunderstand us, let us down, frustrate us, and disappoint us. But because of Christ's sacrifice, God doesn't give up on them or withdraw from them, and neither should we. So now you might be thinking, what if my heart is saying negative things inside while I say encouraging things outside? Is that hypocrisy? Well, I don't think so. I think disciplining yourself to work towards the good of another, even when your feelings are inclined elsewhere, is part of what it means to persevere in love. And God can even use that action to warm your heart over time and to gain that affection that's lacking. So finally, we already looked at this, but remember Jesus's promise from John 15 of joy as we do this. God's commands are not burdensome. And as we love him and love others more, we will absolutely experience true joy. But what about, lastly, D, some other challenges? I just thought about a couple here. First, very briefly, what if your personality is more introverted? I would say myself, I'm a functioning introvert, so I can sympathize. But maybe you feel like being around people is draining, and you'd prefer to just be by yourself. Well, again here, it takes a lot of prayer and counsel to discern what is, on one hand, how God's uniquely made you as a person, and on the other hand, what is just plain old sin. But very practically, I would simply say this, spend the emotional capital that's in your wallet. Spend the emotional capital that's in your wallet. Second, what if my stage of life and or schedule makes loving and discipling others a challenge? Again, here I can sympathize, even thinking of the stage of life. My wife and I have had kids in diapers for 12 years and counting now. But here too, try to get creative and just work with what you have. So young moms, you might be able to talk about the Sunday sermon at the playground after church, which hopefully reopens soon. I noticed it was closed again today. Or maybe schedule play dates together during the week. And for those of us who are married with young children, you can invite singles to be part of your family routine, whether it's family worship time or even maybe just running errands together or something creative like that. If there's no way you can rearrange your schedule, or maybe your job itself is a challenge, you could always pray and consider whether the Lord might allow you a different job opportunity that would let you better prioritize your local church. Just something to consider. So finally, as we conclude, per usual when I teach, I do have several books to loan related to this topic if you'd like to think more about it. And if you want to read any of them, just see me afterwards. One that's not listed on your handout is this little book called Discipling, How to Help Others Follow Jesus. There are probably thousands if not millions of books on discipleship out there, but this one is especially good because it has great teaching on discipleship centered on the local church. So that's why I recommended that one. But in conclusion, let's just remember what a wonderful blessing our local church is. The local church in general, theologically we know that, but even this specific local church, CFPC, that God has called all of us to And here at CFPC, just remember, you're surrounded by dozens of other people who have committed to seeking your spiritual good. So living together as a church provides an opportunity to be fruitful in each other's lives. I hope you've been encouraged to look for ways, in keeping with your personality and availability, to pursue and establish these kinds of meaningful relationships with other members. And just to get to know other members, let them get to know you. Building relationships that give and receive encouragement is fundamental to what it means to be the body of Christ in this local church. And that is how the world will know that we are Jesus' disciples, by the way we love one another, that's John 13, 35. We look forward to the part God may have for all of us to play in bringing this glorious reality into even sharper view here at CFPC. Let's close in prayer. God, we do praise you for the gift of the local church, even this specific one, CFPC, We pray that you, by your spirit and with your grace at work in each of us, would help us to grow in all these things, Lord. We want to bring you glory by loving and pursuing not only you, but each other, and to do that well. So help us to grow in all these things, even especially as we think about welcoming many new members into fellowship, Lord willing. And we pray all this in Jesus' name, amen.