Morning, everyone. So let me get this straight. Phil, Tim, Hector, and Jamie are not here? Who's up for dibbing the lights and playing the last Avengers movie? Shame on you heathens. This is church. All right. We will start recording from this point, OK? Good. A couple of months ago, when the elders knew that this weekend they were all going to be away, and they asked me to cover, I asked them if they wanted me to just to share something out of God's Word. And if not, I can continue. with the passage in Corinthians, or their study through Paul's letter in 1 Corinthians. And they said, it's up to you. And I said, look, for continuity's sake, why don't I just continue with what you brothers have been doing, and just let me know which chapter and verses you'll be studying, and I'll prepare. So they sent me 1 Corinthians 7, verses 10 to 16, one of the most controversial passages, because it talks about marriage, divorce, and remarriage, and what the Bible says about that. So I wrote back to Phil, and I said, seriously, Phil? And he said, ah, don't worry, we give this to all the novices. So you'll find out I'm a novice. Joking aside, I really am a novice when it comes to this topic because I've never been divorced or remarried. But I hope and pray that this morning I would be able to share from you God's Word and I would echo what the Apostle Paul writes at the end of this chapter. And I think that I too have the Spirit of God. So I hope and pray that you will be convicted, convinced, reminded of truths found in God's Word. I know it's a sensitive topic. I think that all of us would agree we live in an unprecedented time when it comes to divorce. It seems that divorce is on the rise. I think that a lot of people make that decision, let me say this carefully, quickly, in light of all the pain that follows, the legal stuff, children, the splitting of assets, all that stuff is very painful. But I feel that oftentimes we enter divorce or with that marriage with the idea that divorce is always there. And so I was thinking, why is that the case? So I'm going to get into the passage, 1 Corinthians 7, 10 to 16. But before I do, I want to talk a little bit about marriage. Just very briefly, I don't have a lot of time, but I think part of the problem with a lot of marriages is that I think people think that marriage is a human institution. So we understand that the creation story, God makes Adam, and God makes Eve, and He makes them male and female. And somehow we understand that, and that's separated from when we stand at the altar before the bishop, in front of the marriage altar, before the bishop, the pastor, the reverend, however you perform your vows, and do you, Dennis, take Jasmine to be your lawfully wedded wife to have and to hold, and richer and poorer, sickness, health? I do, I do. Somehow that marriage ceremony is separated from the creation story. And somehow we think that Adam was made, and then God made Eve, and somehow they're gonna see each other behind the tree of life. Hi, I'm Adam. Hi, I'm Eve. And that was a little bit funny. You can laugh, it's fine. The truth is that marriage is not instituted by man. It's of divine origin. In his book, J. Adams, in his book, Solving Marriage Problems, he writes this, if marriage is a divinely ordained institution, as the Bible purports, then it should persist until God ordains otherwise. The rules and ideals of marriage are to be those which He set forth. And marriage must not be revamped by human whim or expediency. If, on the other hand, marriage came about as a human expedient devised by man and all of its terms were of human origin, then it certainly may be abolished or its terms may be altered by man for whatever reasons he wishes. People in our churches don't have a strong idea of the divine origin of marriage. The church has naively assumed that they understand this teaching and has not adequately taught them the biblical facts. The home has been equally deficient. How will people learn? Not from the propaganda they read and hear in the media. They will be told just the opposite. If they are constantly bombarded with the message that marriage is but a human expedient, they will eventually believe it and holding to this low view of marriage will act accordingly. That means that biblical terms for marriage will tend to strike them as irrelevant or at best an optional viewpoint. It means that they will build their marriages out of wrong materials and will aim for something far beneath biblical standards. Folks, God designed marriage. when God created Adam. Do you remember the creation story in the beginning of Genesis, the beginning of the Bible? God creates Adam, and Adam names all the animals, and the Bible says that there wasn't a help meet for Adam. There wasn't this partner for Adam, and so God created, he made Adam fall asleep, took a rib out of Adam, and created Eve. She was perfectly designed for Adam. This was a perfect union, man, woman. Not man, man, not woman, woman. This was God's design. In Genesis 2.18, the Lord God said, When Jesus was tempted in the Gospel of Mark, when they were coming and asking Him about marriage, He responds, says, We tend to forget that, and that's why we enter into marriage with this divorce option. I don't know if I'll have enough time. I will share the story of Jaz and I. We had a very troubled first four years of marriage. I mean, if we wanted to divorce, we had all the reasons to divorce. I mean, it was horrible. Speaking personally. And what happened was I entered into, I mean now it's bliss and beautiful, she loves me like to no end, but the point is that, you know, it was very clear that we were both brought up in circles that divorce wasn't an option. Okay, we were not to divorce. Now, there's a problem with that because if you just have behavior and you think you can't divorce, then you'll be with your spouse, but you won't leave a godly marriage. You'll just be together and you'll be proud of the fact we never divorced. Yeah, but your marriage sucks. It's horrible. Yeah, but we never divorced. So in other words, it's not just behavior. We want to make sure that we have godly marriages, but we need to start with understanding that the origin and the sanctity and the holiness of marriage, the covenant, the vows, all of that was ordained by God. It's of God. It's originated by God. What are some of the reasons God created marriage? Why? There's a whole list. I want to focus on three just briefly. We're gonna get into our text. One of the reasons, I believe, is for a helpmate, a helpmeet. In Genesis 2.18, again, it is not good that man should be alone. I will make him a helpmeet for him. Right in the beginning, there's wife. She was made to be Adam's helpmate. Adam was lacking. There wasn't that companion. And so God created Eve for Adam. And those of us that are married, if we're really honest, our wife, our husband, the areas that we lack, they fill them up. Where I lack, Jasmine fills up those areas. And where Jasmine lacks, and boy does she lack, but anyways. where Jasmine lacks, that's where I fill it up. So we're a companion. That's what God prepared it for, you know. I'm gonna slide all over here, but the point is that if we're honest, the problem is that we tend to be very proud and men, you know what, we chaff and we are uncomfortable with people when they question our authority, our wives, you know, our sort of undermining our authority, or they don't give us the respect, or we think we have it all together, and they've just been added to our portfolio of everything we have. So many marriages, when you stand at the altar and say, when they say, I do and I do, you know what they're really saying is, I do if she does. And she's saying, I do if he does. And if you don't believe me, why are there so many marriages? I mean divorces. Why are there so many divorces? And the divorces happen for ridiculous reasons. So number one, help mate. The other reason is to procreate. Look it, marriage is not only so you can have legal intimacy before God. Marriage isn't only so you can be intimate with your wife and God says it's good, and he does say it's good, and he does bless it because he ordained it. Part of that intimacy is to have children. The Bible says in Genesis 1.28, again, the beginning, God blessed them and God said unto them, be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth. Have a lot of kids. God must be proud of the Walker family. But so, sorry. Hebrews 13.4, marriage, Let marriage be had in honor among all. Marriage is honorable. And it says, let the bed be undefiled. And the bed is undefiled. The marriage covenant, the union between a man and a woman in the covenant of marriage, it's undefiled. It's beautiful, that intimacy. And it's pleasurable. And it's supposed to cause us to what? To have more children. A lot of couples just take it as, you know what, this is pleasurable. God has ordained it and it's great. Right, but we forgot the procreate. We forgot the point of having children. Why? It's a blessing. Psalm 123, it says, thy wife is as a fruitful vine, and your children like olive plants. 1 Timothy 5.14, I desire therefore that the younger, it says widows italicized, not in the original, but it could be widows and others. I desire therefore that the younger widows marry, and do what? Bear children, or the younger marry, and do what? Bear children. The second reason God gave us marriage is to emulate, First of all, a helpmate, procreate, and then to emulate. To emulate what? Who? In Ezekiel 16.8, God speaking, yea, I swore unto thee and entered into a covenant with thee, saith the Lord Jehovah, and thou becamest mine. God in Israel was a picture of a groom and a bride. And the marriage covenant between a man and woman is supposed to emulate that picture of God in Israel. The faithfulness of God, the obedience of Israel, the serving of God, the responding of Israel. In Isaiah 54, 5 and 6, for thy maker is thy husband. These are the words in the Bible. Jehovah of hosts is his name. For Jehovah hath called thee as a wife of forsaken and grieved in spirit even a wife of youth. In Jeremiah 3, sadly, it talks about the adulterous relationship of Israel towards God. And what about the book of Hosea? where Hosea is pleading with Gomer, and Gomer is selling herself to all sorts of different men, and he's saying, I'm not gonna leave you. She's saying, I don't want you, I'm not gonna leave you. That faithfulness of God towards an adulteress, a prostitute, even Scripture says, like Gomer. That's what marriage, we're supposed to emulate the perfect union between God and Israel. Who else? Christ and his bride, the church. I don't have time to read them, but you can look at verses like Matthew 9, 15, John 3, 29, Revelation 19, 7, and the famous passage that all of us, I'm sure, had read to us when we performed our wedding vows, Ephesians 5, 22. Wives, be in subjection unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the home, the head of the wife, I should say, as Christ is also the head of the church, being himself the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so let wives be to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives. even as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it. Israel was to be obedient to God. The church was to be obedient to Christ. The wife is to be obedient to her husband. Uh-oh. When I, when Jez and I got married, This was a big problem in our marriage, was the idea of submission. You got to remember, I grew up in a very Eastern European culture, mindset. My mom died when she was young, and I was young as well. Mom was 40. And I only saw that dad and mom had this relationship where dad was the guy in charge. And basically, if I want your opinion, I'll give it to you kind of marriage. And whether it worked or not, that was what I had in my mind. So I brought that into my marriage. And a few frying pans later, I realized that that doesn't work. I realized quickly that even though that's what I got exposed to, that's not the biblical model. It's not the biblical model. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it. Wives will always have a problem with submission. You know why? In Genesis 3 or 4, your desire is gonna be to your husband, but he's gonna have the rule over you. It's in your nature to want to usurp your husband's authority. Recognize it. Recognize it. It's there. But it's what you do with it that's important. You need to understand that it's not different values. Look, we have black people here. We have white people here. We have Canadians. We have Zambians. We have British people here. We have Hungarians. We have... That's all skin deep. We're all the same here. We're beings made in the image of God, sinners in need of a Savior. All the women struggle with the same thing, and all of us men struggle with the same thing. That's a fact of life, folks. Some more or less, but that's because we're all the same. God made us that way. So women, you are gonna struggle with that. And men, we're gonna struggle with loving our wives as Christ loved the church. I always remember, Jas would remind me, saying, it's easy for you to submit, right? God, Christ, man. Let me do it this way. God, Christ, man, woman. It's easy for Christ to submit to God, he's perfect. It's easier for men to submit to Christ, because he's perfect. Jas would always remind me, it's hard for me to submit to an imperfect being. It's true, isn't it? It's very true. But here's the point. Men, speaking to men here, we have a perfect being that we're supposed to submit to, Christ. Do we always submit to Him? Men, do we always submit to Christ? No, we don't. It's not the point of who you're submitting to. The reason you're submitting is because you honor God and His commandments. God, it's tough, my husband's an alcoholic, I know. No, but Lord, you don't understand, he's addicted to pornography, I know. Lord, you don't understand, he gambles all of our money away, I know. My grace is sufficient. It's in those difficult moments that you prove your faithfulness to God's word. I'm not saying it's easy. You can ask my wife, it's not easy. You can ask the woman, it's not easy. But who said being a believer was easy? Man, it's not easy for us to submit to Christ. He loved us and died for us and does everything for us, but we don't. We don't love our wives. We mistreat them. We're abusive towards them. We demean them. We're rough towards our kids. We belittle. That is not like Christ. You need to question whether you're a believer if you consistently are like that towards your wife. Husbands, what don't I understand here? Husbands, love your wives even as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it. Does Jesus come to me and say, Dennis, you're worthless. Dennis, I can't believe you failed in this area again. I can't believe, Dennis, you lie there. Is that how the Lord treats me? And yet, that's the way we treat others, particularly our wives or our children. So God gave us marriage to emulate that perfect union between Christ and His church, the bride. I feel like a girl here, okay. Swinging my hair over my shoulders, okay. What does today's culture teach us? Men have ceased to become men. Men have become women. The whole homosexual agenda, the whole lesbian movement, why? Because Romans 1.22 says, professing themselves to be wise, they became fools. It is perfect. Look at a man's body. Look at a woman's body. Tell me God's not a great designer. No, we don't think so. We're gonna change it. Folks, this is the agenda of the world. and this usurping of authority, this feminist, the sexual revolution that happened in the 60s, 70s, the feminist movement, all of it is to, this whole gender, this whole equality thing, it's all a push to remove man from his authority, and men, we've ceased to be godly men. Most of the women I know, the Christian women, they're the ones that lead in the Bible study. They're the ones that are bringing things together. They're the ones that are praying at home. They're the ones that are doing this and that in the local church. What are we doing? We need to be men of God. That's our role that God's given us. We need to step up and shape up with God's help. I'm speaking to myself and to all of us. And so where does divorce come? Why does divorce happen? And what is the position of the church when it comes to divorce? In 1 Corinthians 7, 10 to 16, Apostle Paul writes, to the married, I give this charge, not I, but the Lord. And just a quick note here, he says, not I, but the Lord, but the Lord, and then he says, not the Lord, but I. I don't want us to think for a moment that there are two levels of obedience to Scripture. Oh, Jesus said it, we're going to obey it, but Paul said it. You know, it's secondary. Simply put, it's words that are very clear that Christ has spoke. Paul has the Spirit of God. All Scripture is given by inspiration of God. It is of the same authority. Paul is just simply clarifying who is saying what. And we know that Jesus spoke of this divorce in three of the Gospels, and we're gonna get to that. So he's making it very clear. Here's what the Lord says. To the married, I give this charge. The wife should not separate from her husband. But if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband, and the husband should not divorce his wife. I want to make a quick note here. Quick comment. God has blessed many, many second marriages. The fact that we shouldn't divorce, but we do, to me, that's the same as if we are not supposed to lie, but we do. We're not supposed to get drunk, but we do. We're not supposed to cheat, but we do. We're not supposed to look at a woman in lust, but we do. Those are all sins. Divorce is a sin. I want to make it very clear. Divorce is a sin, but when you do it, it's important that we repent of it and we move on. And God has blessed many second marriages, which is a testimony to His goodness and grace towards us. Amen? That's an amen. All of us. So we can't just say, I've never been divorced. Yeah, I know, but you cheat on your taxes. No, but I've never been divorced. Yeah, but you got drunk last weekend. No, but I've never... We all sin in some areas. Divorce is another one of those. So we need to recognize that. And we do that with a lot of different sins. We do that with homosexuality, too. I remember watching the movie Titanic. And there's Leonardo DiCaprio, and he's wooing Kate Winslet, and I think that's her name. But anyways, and they're such a good couple. But she's engaged to somebody else. And we're like, come on, Leonardo. And he died at the end. And I remember an elder, I was young. I was very, very young. There was an elder who said to me, did you watch that movie? I said, yeah, it was great. He said, what about the fornication? I said, I, I, huh? And he said, what about the adultery? I missed that. What about the lying? What about? In other words, I'm okay with that, but if I watched a movie that promoted homosexuality, ooh, God forbid. We do that. We elevate sins. We tend to do that. We need to be careful of that. Sin is sin. John says, the Apostle John says, all unrighteousness is sin. Yeah, there's different repercussions for the sin you choose. I get that. But before a holy God, it all caused his son to die. Sin is sin is sin. In Malachi 2.16, 15 and 16, God says, During the time of this writing, and during the time of Christ, there were two schools of thought that would take the passage in the Old Testament that talks about divorce, which is in Deuteronomy chapter 24, verses 1 to 4. There were two schools of thought that took that verse and sort of had different views. They took different positions. The first school of thought was a school of Shammai. He was a very famous rabbi. The school of Shammai took Deuteronomy 24, which I'm going to read to you in a moment, and interpreted it one way. Then the school of Hillel, another rabbi, took it another way. And so you had these differing thoughts during the time of Christ. That's why, do you remember in Matthew 19 when they came and wanting to tempt him, they said, Lord, is it okay for a man to put away his wife? They wanted to trap him. But let's go to Deuteronomy 24 if you have your Bibles. Let's read verses 1 to 4. When a man takes a wife and marries her, then it shall be, if she find no favor in his eyes, because he hath found some, remember this, unseemly thing in her, that he shall write her a bill of divorcement, and give it into her hand, and send her out of his house. And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's wife. Okay, so she gets married, the guy sees something in her, he writes, he doesn't want her anymore, writes her a bill of divorce. She now with that bill of divorce is free to get married to somebody else. She may go and be another man's wife. And if the latter husband hate her, the second marriage, the guy says, I can't live with this woman. He hates her and writes her a bill of divorcement and give it into her hand and send her out of his house. Or if the latter husband dies, or if the second husband dies, who took her to be his wife, her former husband who sent her away, her first husband if he wasn't remarried, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled, for that is an abomination before Jehovah, and thou shall not cause the land to sin for which Jehovah thy God hath given thee for an inheritance. So once a married woman is married to a man, the two become one. He divorces her. He gives her this bill of divorcement. At that point, it's broken. She can go marry another person. Now they've become one. He dies or he divorces her. She can't go be reconciled to her first husband. Why did Moses give this? Do you remember what Jesus said? From the beginning, it wasn't so. But Moses gave you this law because of the hardness of your heart. So I don't want people to... understand, or I don't want us to understand, that God is okay with divorce. He hates it, just like He hates lying, and cheating, and stealing, and all those things. Those two schools of thoughts gave people differing opinions. In his book, The Life and Times of Jesus the Messiah, Alfred Edersheim, which was a Jewish scholar, Jewish scholar who became a Christian, writes this. On the question what constituted lawful grounds of divorce, the schools were divided. Taking their departure from the sole ground of divorce mentioned in Deuteronomy 24, a matter of shame, literally nakedness, the school of Shammai, remember Shammai and Halal, two schools, the school of Shammai applied the expression only to moral transgressions and indeed exclusively to unchastity. In other words, adultery, fornication, sexual lasciviousness. That was the only reason. That was the only reason and way that are grounds for divorce that a guy can divorce his wife. It was declared that if a woman was as mischievous as the wife of Ahab or as the wife of Korah, slanderous as the wife of Korah, it were well that her husband shouldn't divorce her, except on the grounds of adultery. Shammai took a very conservative approach. You couldn't just divorce anybody for any ridiculous reason. Oh, he's into drugs, not a grounds for divorce. No, he's not, you know, financially responsible, not a grounds for divorce. No, he talks bad to me, he's very, not a grounds for divorce. No, he doesn't care for the family, not a grounds for divorce. That's the school of Shammai. Only, and the adultery was caught, like literally caught in the act. That's why a lot of people tie that school of Shammai to the passage, I think it's in John, when the woman was caught in adultery, and they say, Lord, we actually caught her in the act. Some say it was set up. But the point is, it was that strict and conservative. That's the only means whereby Moses said you can divorce. Now, Hillel, we live in the world and in the school and in the times of Hillel. The school of Hillel proceeded on different principles. It took the words matter of shame or uncomely or unseemly, depending upon which translation you're reading, in the widest possible sense and declared it sufficient ground for divorce if a woman had spoiled her husband's meal. Half of you would be divorced though. I'm kidding. If a woman didn't find favor in her husband's eyes anymore, you know what that means? That means a man goes out and says, I found a better looking woman. You're gone. He could divorce her. If she didn't prepare the dough on time, if she didn't tithe, follow Moses' law in the proper sense, If she didn't set apart herself during the monthly cycle, the woman's monthly cycle, she'd be impure, and the husband didn't like it. Divorce. If she went out in public without her hair cut, her head covered, uncovered, grounds for divorce. If she went out into public, and you know how little girls have those frilly dresses, grounds for divorce. If she was caught speaking to another man, That wasn't her husband, obviously, grounds for divorce. If she had a bad reputation, he marries her, he says, oh my goodness, I didn't know my wife was a wild woman when she was young. She's tainting my name. He can divorce her. If she was disrespectful to him in public, grounds for divorce. Here's a big one. I think all of us would have been divorced. If she speaks rudely and not politely to her in-laws. Grounds for divorce. That's the school of Hillel. And so when they came up to Jesus in Matthew 19 and said, hey, is it lawful for a man to divorce his woman, his wife? They were tempting him, because do you remember what happened with John the Baptist and Herod? Herod divorces his wife, goes to his brother Philip, and takes his wife. And John says, hey, Herod, you can't do that. It's against the law. And Herod takes John, puts him in prison. Because Herod had sort of a problem. He liked John, but he was Herod. Well, Herod's wife didn't like John. because he kept saying, your marriage is not lawful and not legal. So one day when it's Herod's birthday and Herod's daughter comes out and does this wonderful dance, Herod's so proud of her, he says, hey listen, whatever you want, I'm gonna give it to you, up until half of the kingdom. Well, lo and behold, the daughter conspired with her mother, and the mother said, tell Pops that we want John the Baptist's head on a plate. And so that's what happened. They beheaded John the Baptist. And so the Jews, knowing this, probably came up to Christ saying, hey, hey, if they killed Herod, we want Jesus dead. Let's catch him in a trap. Let's tempt him. Isn't it lawful for a man to divorce his wife? And that's the passage that talks about adultery as an exception clause. Within Christian circles, there are three views when it comes to marriage, divorce, remarriage. I'm gonna give you those three views. Okay, I'm gonna try not to tell you my view. I'm gonna give you those three views. I'm gonna try to back them up biblically. I want us to understand that those three views are presented by very sound biblical teachers, theologians, godly men. In other words, the one view, a brother from that side, and the other view, or the third view, they will all work together, they'll greet one another, they'll consider themselves brothers in the Lord. It's just a very difficult passage to interpret because it's very serious, and yet we have to understand not one person has a monopoly on one view. I'm sure Kittway Church has a position, and that I will leave to your elders to explain. Okay, the number one view. Not in any order. The view is called the permanent or the permanence view. That is the view that a person should never divorce and obviously then never remarry. So divorce is not permissible under any circumstance. We're gonna say, wait, wait, wait, what about the Deuteronomy 24? Remember what Jesus said, he gave that because of the hardness of your heart, but from the beginning it was not so. So they say, uh-uh, you can't use that verse as a license to divorce. Just like a lot of people can take Solomon's 900 women that he had and 150 wives and say, hey, polygamy's okay. Because it's in the Bible. Well, we need to first of all read the Bible in its context. We have to understand that the Bible is not only a life-saving message from God, but it's also an historical account of things that took place. So just because the Bible explains what took place doesn't mean God endorses that. And we know God did not endorse or was not pleased with Solomon's multiple women and wives in his life. They take the position that marriage is a covenant agreement meant for life, therefore it must not be broken under any circumstances. Remarriage further violates the covenant and therefore is not permissible. Now, okay, you gotta follow with me here because this was, this is a, okay. Luke, Mark, Matthew, John. Four Gospels. Mark, Luke, and Matthew, three Gospels, are the ones that talk about marriage. The only Gospel that talks about adultery being an exception to divorce is found in the Gospel of Matthew. The same question is posed in Luke and Mark, but there's no adultery exception, okay? So the permanent view position holders say, when we say to them, let's say somebody takes a position and said, no, no, Jesus said, except for adultery, they say, wait a second, it's found only in Matthew. Okay, why is it found in Matthew? Because of this. In the beginning of Matthew, you have the birth of Christ account. Mary is found with child while she's betrothed to Joseph. Remember that story? They're engaged, although it's much more than engaged. In Jewish culture, that's big. It's not like we understand engaged. In fact, in fact, the Zambians are closer to the gospel account than we are in North America. They understand engagement better, and it's closer aligned to Scripture. Because when you're engaged as a Zambian, that's a big deal. Money has been given, dowries, this, you're committed. You're committed. So in the engaged process, those of us in North America, it's not as serious. I mean, it's serious, but not as. So in the account of Joseph and Mary, Joseph finds Mary with child. He says, wait a second, we're betrothed here. and she's with child, and the Bible says, you can read it, that Joseph, being a just man, was looking for a way to divorce Mary privately. He wanted to put Mary at divorce, but they're betrothed, you understand? So, it's in Matthew, and therefore, in Matthew, Jesus says, except for the cause of adultery, so the proponent of permanence view are saying, no, only in the betrothal process and period of that marriage can you divorce. That's their position. You can agree with it, disagree, I'm giving you their position. Now, just so I can confuse you some more, because you don't look confused, those proponents also say that the original writing doesn't say except for adultery, it actually says even in the case of adultery. So they take that position, no divorce, no remarriage. You can't use Matthew 19, Matthew 5, because that's only simply exonerating Joseph's position in the beginning of Matthew. That's why Jesus doesn't mention it in Luke or in Mark. Only death separates the marriage union. And they use examples like, how unfaithful was Israel towards God? Very unfaithful. Did God divorce Israel? No. How unfaithful is the church towards Christ? Very unfaithful. Does Christ divorce us? No. In Luke 18, 16-18, that's the other passage, Jesus says, clearly, everyone that puts away his wife marries another, commits adultery, and he that marries the one that's put away commits adultery, causes her to commit adultery. That's their position. If you look at, and they also support that position, just quickly, I was just reminded now, in Romans chapter seven, verses one, now this is not a marriage chapter, but Paul is referencing the law of marriage to establish clearly the law of Moses, or the law of God, and the law of Christ. And what he says in Romans seven, he says this, do you not know brothers, I'm speaking to those that know the law, that the law is binding only on a person as long as he lives. No divorce, no remarriage proponents say that the only thing that can break your marriage is death of a spouse. Then you're free to get married. The only thing, death of a spouse. And they say, look at what Romans 7 says, that the law is binding on a person only as long as he lives. Thus, a married woman is bound by law to her husband while he lives. But if her husband dies, she is released from the law of marriage. Accordingly, she will be called an adulteress if she lives with another man while her husband is alive. But if her husband dies, she is free from that law, and she marries another man. And if she marries another man, she is not an adulteress. So in fact, Paul makes it very clear. He says, if she marries another man, her husband. He's still referencing the first man as her husband, not even the second marriage. This is just a man. This is her husband. So they use that. This is, only death separates the covenant of marriage. And just quickly, Romans 7 is not... Paul is just simply saying those of us who are believers, we need to be dead to the law in order to be alive to Christ. Because if we're holding on to the law, that's why he's using marriage, we're holding on to the law, and we want to marry Christ, we're adulterers and adulteresses. So one must be dead in order for us to be married to Christ. Okay? But that's what they use, and that's another sermon. The second position. Okay, before I go to the second position, also, look at the marriages in the Old Testament. Those proponents that say no divorce, no remarriage under any circumstance, they say, look at David and Bathsheba. Look at Abraham and Sarah with Hagar in there. I mean, let's face it, folks, the marriages in the Old Testament are not the guys you're gonna be looking to for marriage counseling. They were rough marriages, and yet no divorce. Okay. So before you leave, let me lighten it a little bit. There's a semi-permanent view, which is divorce is permissible under certain conditions, but remarriage is not. Okay, that's the second position. Divorce, you can divorce under certain conditions, but marriage is not. And they take the passage here in 1 Corinthians 7, the one that we just read. 7, it says here, verses 10. But if she does, divorce happens, and she should remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband. And the husband shouldn't divorce his wife. So they take the position, look what 1 Corinthians 10 and 11 says. Divorce can happen, but what divorce? Under what conditions? Then they refer to the exception clause. Matthew 5, Matthew 18. Only on the strict grounds of adultery, and not just once, I mean, it's very strict. Your husband or your wife must be constantly cheating on you, living a life that shows I have no interest in you whatsoever. I'm done. I've joined myself to this other person. See you later. On that condition, divorce can take place, but you're not to be remarried. Why? Because you're going to honor your end of the vow and the covenant. Don't shoot the messenger. I'm just giving you the message. That's the position they hold. Divorce? No remarriage. The second position, the second reason they say you could divorce is what's found in here, in this passage that we've been reading. The 12th verse says, Remember Phil and Tim and Hector and those brothers, I think Jamie maybe started as well, they were talking about Corinthians in the beginning to be Corinthianized. I mean, you had a lot of people who were looking for all sorts of reasons to dump their husbands or wives. You know, all of a sudden they come to faith in Christ and they're like, you know what, I'm a believer. My husband's not a believer. I want to... in Greece, and you know what? I want to dump this husband of mine, and he's a dud. I want to meet and marry a Greek stud, and you know, they want to get rid of these guys. And Paul says, You know, folks, God honors marriages, whether they're done in the unbelieving state or the believing state, because it's from the beginning. So if you got married as an unbeliever, praise God. You were obedient to God's call and to be obedient to the covenant of marriage. When you come to faith in Christ, we don't say, hey, you know what, you got married as an unbeliever, you need to divorce your spouse, come into faith in Christ, and then marry a believer. We would never do that, right? So in other words, Paul's saying, uh-uh, that's not a reason to divorce. If they're happy to live with you, they stay with you. In fact, he talks about it. Why? So the second position, divorce can happen, but not remarriage, is abandonment. It says here, verse 15, but if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so in such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. Okay? So let them go. They take that enslaved as you're not now bound to that person anymore, but you're still bound to your covenant of marriage. So the person needs to desert you, leave you, particularly for your faith. You're a Jesus follower. I don't agree with you. I'm a Muslim. I'm going to follow Allah. And you know what? Nothing to do with that. You're done. So those proponents say you can divorce in that situation. And they honor their vows because their spouse is alive. And they work to be reconciled until that husband or that wife joins with somebody else. The third position, okay, is the semi-permissive view. Okay, I call it semi-permissive view. A lot of people call it the permissive view. The only reason I call it the semi-permissive view is because there is a fourth view that I don't think is biblical at all. That's why I'm not, I mean, I'll tell you what it is, but I don't want, talk about it a lot, simply because the permissive view says you can divorce for all sorts of reasons, and you can remarry. And the reason I don't think it's biblical is because when you start saying, I can divorce for all sorts of reasons, you're really laying the blame on your spouse, and he's guilty of everything, or she's guilty of everything. You're taking no part, and you're looking for a way out. And because we know that God hates divorce, I don't think that permissive view is biblical at all. And that's why a lot of sound teachers don't even view that as a view, take that as a view. But the semi-permissive view says you can divorce, and you can remarry. You can divorce, and you can remarry. You can divorce on those same two positions. So they take, they support the other view. Divorce, yes, but no remarriage. So they take, they support, you can divorce, but they also go one step further and say, because you can divorce, you are free to get married. And they take the Matthew 5 and 19 and say, hold on a second, trying to bridge Matthew 19 to the Joseph account, that's a long bridge. I mean, it's very clear. Jesus makes it clear. Or trying to say, except for adultery means, even in the case of adultery, I mean, it's clear. Except for adultery. And they say that the one union, you know, when God says, the two shall be one flesh. So Jasmine and I are one flesh. We have faith in grace. We became one flesh. If God forbid Jasmine and I divorced and I joined myself or she joined herself to another person, that would be one flesh. We are no longer her and I one flesh. And so they take the position you can't be one flesh with somebody who's joined themselves to somebody else becoming one flesh. It is also understood that adultery was a capital offense, punishable by stoning, and during Jesus' time, Roman law didn't allow the Jews to stone anybody, so that's why Jesus also included that adultery clause as well, made it very clear that only on the case of consistent adultery. And those who believe in, you know, divorcing because of adultery, clear to the men, and to the women, but I think men struggle a lot more with lust and pornography and all those. That was very clear. The word, the Greek word porneia is very clear that it's not just going physically being with another woman. It's indulging in sexual pleasure in any way apart from your spouse. It's indulging in sexual pleasure your God-given spouse. So men, a lot of men in counseling over the years with different men, they've taken comfort that I've never committed adultery. Well, in essence, really, if we have looked at pornography in other women, we have, because Jesus made it very clear. You have heard it said, thou shouldn't commit adultery. But I say that if a man looks at a woman in lust, and all of us, including your preacher here, are guilty of this, if you look at a woman in lust, you have committed adultery in your heart. That's a tall order, man. That's a tall order. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church. Christ never been unfaithful to us. Christ never looked at another group of people and said, that's gonna be my church. So, to conclude, I am a Christian, but my spouse is not. Should I divorce my unbelieving spouse and try to find and marry a believer? I'm not at conclusion yet, but we could keep that slide up there, no problem. No. If you have an unbelieving spouse, you are in a beautiful position. That's your harvest. That's your mission field. You have a beautiful place to witness to your unbelieving husband or wife. And how do you know the Apostle Paul writes there, and he says, wife, how do you know whether you will save your husband? Husband, how do you know whether you will save your wife? And you know what I find interesting, folks? I had an aunt. and an uncle, and they both passed away. Aunt was a believer, uncle was an unbeliever. My goodness, this aunt was so gracious to believers who had fallen to sin in the church. Oh, we all sin, we all need forgiveness. So gracious. But boy, did she hammer her husband at home. He never came to faith in Christ. You know what the Bible says? You're a heathen, you're hypocritical. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But she kind of says, you know, Jesus loves you. And yet, I don't want to say which is more important, man who you married, who you have children with, who's going to hell forever. That's your mission field. That's why the Apostle Peter writes, wives, by your conduct, the old King James Version says, your conversation. It's not conversation speaking. It's your lifestyle. How do you know if it'll convert your husband? Did you ever, any of you read the book, The Case for Christ? There's the case for a creator. There's a case for faith. But Lee Strobel wrote a book called The Case for Christ. And what's amazing is he was a journalist, I think in Philadelphia, mid-80s. And his wife becomes a believer. And he goes, oh no, now I got this Bible-thumping wife. She's gonna be preaching to me. But he notices something different in her. And he notices her lifestyle changes, and she's this Different person. Likeable, lovable person. And he's like, who is this Jesus that can change somebody that much? So he goes out as a journalist to disprove the claims of Christ. And I'm gonna ruin the book because half of you don't read anyways. So at the end of the book, what happens is, he sits down in his office, he's got all of the evidence in front of him, and he says, I can't deny it. So it was either accept the truth, the facts, that he himself went to disprove and prove, or deny it. That's a picture of what Paul is saying and what the Apostle Peter is saying. Wives who have unbelieving husbands, you're blessed. You're blessed, you have an opportunity to be Jesus to your husband or wife. Not easy, not easy. I'm not gonna say I know for one second, but there's a huge blessing there. You know what James says? Think of the blessing and the reward if one saves a soul from the error of his way. So no, if you have an unbelieving spouse, don't look for a reason to divorce. If you're looking for a reason to divorce, apart from what we've mentioned, then really the problem doesn't lie with your spouse, it lies with you. No, but I don't love him anymore. That's your problem. No, but you know what? That's your problem. You need to get right with God. Don't look for a reason to divorce. Folks, I can tell you, I could tell you I've been married 18 years. Jasmine is not the best woman in the world. I know you're all surprised. I am the best man. No, I'm kidding. But she's not the best woman in the world. I am not the best man in the world. Your husband and your wife are not the best people in the world. Two sinners coming underneath one roof. But she is the best person for me, and I'm experiencing what God's intended for marriage. She's my best friend. She's my partner. I can tell her my problems. We can raise our kids together. We can fight. We can reconcile. Don't let divorce be a door. There's no door. Picture coming into marriage, there's no exit. There's no, we're in here. You can run in each corner and ignore each other, but you're married. Start getting along. And let God make your marriage what it needs to be. Maybe I exaggerated a little bit, Jaz. Just bear with me, okay? We don't have that much time. Okay, so, question two. I am a Christian, but my spouse, who is not a believer, has left me and filed for divorce. What should I do? If at all possible, try to reconcile. Try to honor your vows, reconcile. Somebody once said, if people spent as much time working on their first marriage as they did pursuing their second marriage, it would work. And by the third marriage, it's not that it's the best marriage, it's that they're so tired of going through one and two divorces that they just settle and say, this is it. Let's spend energy. If you're divorced already and you can't do anything about it, then you can't do anything about it. Apostle John says, confess your faults, or confess your sin before God. He is faithful and just to forgive you and to cleanse you from all unrighteousness. You can't go back in time. But if you have the opportunity to be reconciled, reconcile. What are the biblical reasons for divorce? We've established that, I hope. I divorced my spouse for reasons that have no biblical basis. Neither of us is remarried. What should I do to demonstrate repentance? Try to be reconciled. If you've divorced your husband and wife and you're single and she's single, try to be reconciled. There's a huge blessing in that. And I'll tell you what, Jasmine and I know this couple, Tony and Barb Munther in Ohio. Nine years they were separated. Nine years. Raised kids together, and then they separated for nine years. Never got divorced, but they were separated. And then they, And then they got together after nine years. And you know what they do now? Now they have a marriage ministry. Now they go around and they sit down, not like Jasmine and I say, nah, I know what you're going through. I have no idea what you're going through. I'm just sharing God's word. They sit down and they go, hey, let me tell you our story. So if you have the opportunity to be reconciled to somebody you've been divorced, that's God honoring. Not easy, but God honoring. This keeps falling off. So I hope that helps you out with that question. Reconciliation is no longer possible. I divorced my spouse that have no biblical basis. What should I do to demonstrate if the person is married, you can't do anything. You need to repent before the Lord and move on. We've established that. So in conclusion, because I got to wrap it up here, in conclusion, let's recognize that Jesus did one thing for women. He protected them. They couldn't just be abandoned for any ridiculous reason like the school of Hillel. Now, you know, I don't like the way you cook my meal. When you're looking for a reason to divorce, the problem lies with you. The problem lies with you. And so you need to get right with God. You know, when Jasmine and I had our issues, I always thought it was her. Until I started realizing that it's not 50-50 in marriage. You know what it is? It's 100% your fault. Doe, it's 100% your fault the problems in your marriage. And it's 100% your fault. It's 100% my fault and 100% Jasmine's fault. Not 50-50. So what does God want me to do? Dennis, deal with 100% of your problem. That's 100%. Now, but even 1%, 100% your problem. No, but she does this, I know, but 100% your problem. And if she thinks it's 100% her problem and understands that, she deals with it. And like somebody once said, like a triangle, here's God, here's man, here's woman. The moment you focus on yourselves and get right with God, you go closer to each other. You're getting closer to God and you're getting closer to each other because the gap is not as wide. But what do we do? Nah, she's like this, eh? He's like this. It's true, she is like that. And it's true, he is like that. But what does God call us to do? You are accountable to me and to my word. What am I asking you to do? Love your wife even as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it. Wives, submit to your husbands. Doesn't mean he's greater than you. It's the role God has given to men. You have been given a role. You can have a baby. You can procreate. Seven billion people on this planet because of women. Not men. Well, technically because of men, too. But the point is, you can have a child. Roles are different. Value is the same. We're not to divorce, we're not to judge divorced people. Uh-uh. We're not judge, jury, executioner. We are not to judge divorced people or shame them or look at them. That's hypocritical because we can be just as easily shamed for the sins that we have in our lives. And may I conclude with marriage, if God designed it, which we believe He did, can be heaven on earth. because he designed it. It's gonna take work. Those of you who are in the business world, you have money now, it takes work. And yet you're gonna work hard for something that is of less value and less importance than your spouse or your husband. Work at it. Honor God. God will bless you. It will work out. I'm telling you from experience, it will work out. Trust God. You have children that are watching. Men, treat your wives as Christ. Love the church. Jasmine's gonna hold me to this, and she has a right to do that. Let's not be jerks. Let's not be idiots. Let's not be men of this world. Let's be servant-hearted Christ followers. Women, respect your husbands. Submit to them. God has given them that role. Don't constantly challenge them. When Jaz and I first got married, she calls me, she said, what do you want for dinner? I said, I'll have chicken. No, but we had chicken last week. Why don't we do beef? Okay, I'll have beef. But why? You don't like chicken? My God. Why don't we just go vegan? You know, like, the point is on every small stuff, recognize that's in you. It's in you. You need to go to God with that. Submit to your husband's husband's love or love your wives and divorce will never happen. Let's pray. Heavenly Father, it's a privilege and a pleasure to be able to hear from your word. But it's also challenging because it calls us to a high calling in a high role of The example of Christ, our Savior, both for men and women to follow in obedience what your word teaches. Father, I pray that you would speak to our hearts if there are marriages that are struggling. May I say it this way Lord the marriages that are struggling because we understand that that's a fact of life. May you work in those hearts? May you speak to them Holy Spirit in a way that they would understand that your design was perfect Union with you and with one another that doesn't mean perfect marriages. That means understanding when we are imperfect what to do. I Father, I pray that those that are looking to get married and those that are single, I pray that this message would encourage them to get married if you provide an opportunity, and to have children, and to have a spouse, and to live godly marriages, to have a help meet, to procreate, and to emulate the perfect example of Christ in his church. Father, thank you for your word. Bless us as we depart in a few moments. Bless the music ministry. Father, thank you so much for the words and the lyrics of the music that show us that you know everything about us. Dismiss us and be with us, encourage us, and we thank you for everything, Jesus, for dying on the cross for sinful men and women such as us. It's in your name that we pray, amen.