Ezekiel chapter 24, I think. Let me just check. Ezekiel chapter 24. I want to thank you all for coming. A lot of faces I haven't seen in a while. I want to thank the Lord that you're here. And one thing I am super excited about this morning is Guadalupe and his wife, Ariel, they got saved on Thursday night. Amen. So many people have been getting saved lately and God's been moving in a mighty way. But if you'll take your Bible to Ezekiel chapter 24 and you pray for me as I preach. Ezekiel chapter 24. And this is the third time I've preached out of this text, although I'm not going to exposit the text this morning. But this time is a little different. And the Bible says, Also, the word of the Lord came unto me saying, Son of man, I have taken away from thee the desire of thine eyes. with a stroke. Yet neither shalt thou mourn nor weep. Neither shall tears run down. Forbear to cry. Make no mourning for the dead. Bind the tire of thine head upon thee. Put on thy shoes upon thy feet. Cover not thy lips. Eat not the bread of men. And then Ezekiel, the preacher, says this, So I spake to the people, you could say he preached, right? In the morning, and at even my wife died, and in the morning I did as I was commanded. I'm going to ask my brother if you'll stand and ask the blessing on this message, please. I pray that you would just come in here. and be with us, God. Lord God, I pray that you would find us the broken heart of the Lord, God. And God, I pray that you would help us to recognize the season, Lord. And God, I thank you for saving my soul, Lord, And Lord, I thank you for the road you have me traveled, God. I know it gets steep sometimes, and I know it gets rocky sometimes. But Lord, I thank you that you're with me, beside me every step of the way. And God, I pray that you would Amen. You know, some things happen to us in life. They're just not right, you know? And you say, a lot of times we have the tendency to say, where was God, you know, when that happened? And we live in a fallen world. We live in a sin-cursed world, right? And sickness and disease and sin and death are all consequences of that. And the longer we go since the fall, the more problems of the world and the people in it start to have because there's more consequences because everything just, it goes downhill, right? And so God has been with me and God has carried me through And I'm trusting the Lord, and I don't know how people go through problems without the Lord. I don't. I have no idea. And, say, preacher, are you going to be okay? I serve a great God, I can tell you that. Amen? What are you going to do? The Bible talks about David in 1 Samuel chapter 30 and he comes to Ziglag and his wife was taken away captive and the city was burned and everything was gone. You know what it said David did? It said David encouraged himself and the Lord his God. And when we go through times of unmentionable grief, all we can do is encourage ourselves and the Lord our God. Say preacher have you ever been through a trial before I've been through trials before but I've never never been through something this hard I've been wounded and I've healed and I believe that God will heal me for this, but I know it's gonna take a while And I believe he'll get my family through it My kids I have to confess, I don't know how, but I do know that he will. And if you want to know what my greatest concern is and what I need prayer for the most, my greatest concern is my children. And it has been from the moment that this all happened. So what I want to do this morning, and it's funny, the timing on things, You know, when Rachel was alive, she always wanted me to tell our story. And I said, yeah, I should do that sometime. I need to put together a message and do that. But I never got around to it. So I want to do this, and I think it'll be helpful, you know? It'll be helpful for our marriages. It'll be helpful for our healing. It'll be helpful, amen? It'll be helpful for a greater understanding because everybody has a story, right? And when you come to church and see them at church, you don't know their story. And sometimes you don't know their story unless you get to know them real well after years and years and years. So I'm going to start at the beginning when I entered into Rachel's life, and I'm just going to talk about this for a minute, and then we'll get into some more practical things. The first time I met Rachel, my friends and I, it was kind of a crazy night, but my friends, I was back in the year 2000, 1999 or 2000, right in there. My friends said, hey, they're having a softball game for the church down here. Do you want to go? And I said, yeah, I'll go. I said, maybe there'll be some girls there I can talk to, because I really don't care about softball, you know? And I went to the game, and you know, everyone's there. You know, our church is winning. I'm like, who cares? And I'm just like looking around the crowd, right? And I saw this little blonde-headed girl sitting next to one of my friends. And she was so pretty, and the bleachers are there, and she's like sitting down here on the bleachers. I come. just like this, and I jump over the backside of the bleachers. And I come down and say, hi, my name's Bez. She just looked at me. I said, what's your name? She said, my name's Rachel. I said, you're beautiful. And I said, after this softball game, why don't we go get something to eat? We went to Ruby Tuesdays and I asked her, you know, when she got saved, you know, Hey, listen, if you want to find a good husband or a good wife, listen to what they talk about. And if the content of their conversation is not on spiritual things, that's not the right person. It's not. Say, I like so-and-so. I said, well, how long have you been talking to so-and-so? And they said, I've been talking to so-and-so for a month. I said, how many times has so-and-so talked about your salvation and talked about the Lord? And they said, so-and-so never has. I said, well, tell so-and-so you're going to give him a swift kick in the rear because he's a bozo. You know? And I talked about her salvation. I tried to find out what she believed. We were talking about eternal security all kinds of different things. They've been to a lot of churches, so she was kind of confused about those things. And I'm sitting there talking to her, but she was so pretty. And so I like scoot over and I try to touch her leg and she smacked my hand. Look, I'm just, I'm not preaching this morning, I'm telling a story, a true story. But she smiled and so I know she was like, That, look, she's my only girlfriend I've ever had, you know? And I did that, so I said, well, I'm going to have to wait a little. I'll try later, you know? And, but we talked, and I took her home, and I made her laugh, you know? And Rachel was a, she was an introverted person, and that's not a bad thing. Introverted persons, some of them are geniuses, amen? And but you just got to understand that they're different. They don't get their energy from the crowd. They get their energy from being alone and reading and stuff like that, right? This exhausts them, but that is what they enjoy. And so I went over there and I, you know, I would talk to her and I'd make her laugh. And, you know, she did not marry me because I look like Tom Cruise, like some people tell me. She married me because I made her laugh, amen? And I will always make her laugh. Whenever she was down, I'd cheer her up, I'd try to make her laugh, you know? And she was 15 at the time, and I was 18. And I remember she said, you call me, but when you call my house, I'm not supposed to talk to boys, so you're going to have to say that you're somebody else, you know? And I said, well, I'll try. I'm not very good at lying, but I mean, it's never too young to start, right? And so don't ever start, all right? But I'd call, and I'd call the house, and she said, I order records. Remember when they used to have these record companies and these clubs, and you'd send money, and they'd send you some every month, you know? And so she was having problems with the account, and so they said, she said, when you call, say you're John from Capitol Records or whatever the place was. So I'd call, and I'd be like, please don't let it be your mom. Please don't let her be your mom. Her mom would pick up the phone and say, hello. And I'd say, hello. Can I speak to Rachel, please? And she'd say, who is this? I said, it's John from Capitol Records. And they said, aren't you guys closed? I said, it's still early in London. And so I talked to her on the phone, and they'd record our conversations and all that stuff. And we'd talk about these things. And I started bringing her to my church. And man, we just had such a good time. And this is where it gets a little bit different, is because I started bringing her to church. And I used to go to this church that was not a hospital, OK? It was religious. And by when I say religious is they box that they tried to fit into everybody into. And some people just don't fit into boxes, you know. And they looked at a person like they need to be this way, this, this and this. And if they're not this way, this, this and this, then they're not the right person, you know. And so Rachel was quiet, and she was shy, and so they'd say, you know, well, she's stuck up, or she's not friendly, and she just needs to, whatever. And it was always this judgment that would come across. And that happens in churches a lot. Don't let that happen at Wesatch Baptist Church, please. And uh, so my friends got together and say, look, this is the wrong girl for you. You shouldn't marry her because you know, she's not a Baptist and she's, you know, blah, blah, blah, and all this junk. But I was young and naive, you know? And so I, I broke up with her and uh, she was, it was right after her 16th birthday. And I remember her 16th birthday. I got her a Bible and 16 roses and I, I broke up with her and um, It hurt her so bad because Rachel loved me so deeply and she believed in me. She thought I could hang the stars. And so she kind of went off the deep end and she moved up to North Carolina with her sister, Rebecca, in North Carolina. And when you put a person like that, hurt and broken, into a big, wicked world, it's not a good thing. And people took advantage of her. And one time she was forced and, I mean, just a lot of traumatic things happened to her. And during that time I remember like 2, 3 in the morning I'd get phone calls and I'd pick up the phone and there would be nobody on the other side and I could just hear someone breathing. And I'd say, Rachel, and she'd hang up the phone real quick. And then she'd call back. And I'd say, Rachel, I know it's you, but you don't have to talk. And I'd sit there and I just talked to her about the Bible and I read the Bible to her. And I'd say, the Lord loves you. The Lord has a plan for you. Amen. And I just try to comfort her and I pray for her and what, because I didn't know what she was going through because I heard her and she called, but she didn't really want to talk, you know? And then all that junk that happened, she moved back to Pensacola. And one night she was out drinking and she got in a car wreck and she broke her heel bone and shattered her heel. And the doctor said she'd never walk again. She had all these pins and stuff in her heel bone that caused her so much pain. And, and, uh, when she was healing from all that stuff, she got right with the Lord during that process. And that would have probably never happened if it wasn't for my part. But anyway, She called me and she said, I got right with the Lord. I said, I don't believe it. And she said, I stopped smoking. I said, OK, well, I'll be over in about 15 minutes. So I went over there and I said, look, if you're really right with the Lord, we're going to get married. And I said, we'll wait a while to work out all the details and stuff like that. Abigail was very instrumental in getting us back together, you know? And man, Abby was always so funny, and we just had such a great time, you know? And so I started doing that, and going over there, and I knew I was going to marry her. And I always knew, and I thought I could help Rachel, and God wanted me to marry her. Not only because I loved her and not only because she was gorgeous, but like Christ the church because he I knew that I could be a blessing to her and I knew I could help her, you know, and I knew if if I wasn't in her life her life wouldn't be as good as it could be and So I married her because I knew the Lord wanted me to to be a blessing to her Rachel has a sister Sarah and she a lot of times struggles with difficulties and stuff And the difference between Sarah and Rachel was Rachel had a good husband, you know? And so I married her. I loved her with all my heart. And right before we got married, we're out shopping for a table. And there's a theme to these stories. And I'm going to put them all together at the end. We were out shopping for a table. And we found this table. And somebody has that. Who has that table? Somebody, they just painted it. Oh, Brad and Abby have that table one. They painted it. We found it for $99 on sale. And we were so excited. And we came home. And we came back home to my apartment where I lived with some roommates. And we went in there. And we were going to put some stuff up. And I was going to cook some food there. And I walked there. And there were about 12 of my friends there from Bible school sitting there in a big circle. And I said, hey, what are you guys doing in my house? Well, the door was not locked. Well, good. Come on in, right? And I walked in there, and they said, sit down. I'm not very bright at this time in my life, OK? And I said, down. And they said, Rachel, sit. And she's like, no, I'll stand. Right? Amen. And they said, you shouldn't marry this girl because she does this and this and this and this and this. And they proceeded to just like all this junk, right? And Rachel just broke down and started weeping. She ran out of the house. She threw the engagement ring at the ground. And she's like, how could you just stand there and let them say stuff like that and not stand up for me? Because I'm not good in situations like that. I'm more of a gentle personality and I always have to process things and think about things. But she always wanted a man that would stand up for her and have her back no matter what. And men, if you're married, that's what your wife wants, okay? And make sure you give it to her. And so, I, you know, got the ring. went and found her, made things better. We stopped going to that church for a while, but it hurt. It was another thing that hurt. And then we were to get married, and we got married on May 25, 2004, and the person that was supposed to be the best man and the other person that was supposed to be the best lady in the wedding that were supposed to come, they backed out, and they said, I don't agree with this wedding, so we're not coming. That was another thing that hurt. I continued to be friends with him and that hurt her. Those were some of the problems. When we got married in Florida, I had a business and I was building houses. I built big, nice houses on the beach. able to charge a lot of money to build those houses. And I built these houses, and I made a lot of money. I think the first year I had a business, I made over $100,000. And we were still in our 20s, right? And so, for the first Christmas, I bought her a new car, a Honda Accord, and paid cash for it. I bought her a diamond necklace. I bought her a KitchenAid mixer, and a bottle of perfume, and some roses. And I fried a turkey, and it was our first Christmas together, and it was so nice, you know? And at Ford, I went and pastored in her church, and we would always be going out to eat. With friends we would go scuba diving. She went scuba diving with me. You know, we go out to the beach We would barbecue we would do all kinds of we had so much fun, you know and then the Lord called me to come out here and so what a blessing that was and I remember we got all excited and we packed everything up and put it all in the back of a writer truck and She followed me out here in our pickup truck. We went and stayed with brother and sister Griffin and Melvis Jones until we found a place and we came out here and she was all excited. But, you know, I'm a very driven person, right? And I'm a very, I get, I'm like a dog that gets on a trail. I find a goal, I get it in my head and I just work it and go after it. a workaholic, amen? And so I was, um, man, this mic keeps cutting out. Can you turn those antennas this way so they pick it up better? We were both so. And so I started working and, uh, you know, Rachel would call me and she'd say, Hey, I got dinner ready. Why don't you come over and eat dinner and take a break? And be like, look, I'm visiting. I'm busy. Why are you bothering me? You know, this is the Lord's work. Not a good idea, right? And it's just another thing that put hurt there. And it took its toll after a while. And the church began to grow. And our family began to grow. We went to the hospital on November 22, 2009, and Bez was born. And I remember when Bez was born, he was born by C-section, and I held him up to her over there so she could kiss him, and he had those blue eyes. And she just had those tears running down her eyes. And man, what a great experience that was. And Bez was born, and she bounced back really quick. She gained weight. Man, her mom, and she loved her mom and adored her mom. And her mom came out here when she was still alive and came out here and had Bez. And we went down around the river walk, and we took them all kinds of the see the sights of San Antonio. And we have pictures from that, and Rachel was so excited about that, you know? And then later that year, her mom died in a car wreck. And that was just really brutal on her. And at first, it didn't seem like it. But then after the time went on, she never really dealt with that right away. So she started dealing with it this last year and stuff, just really grieving and missing her mom and all. And then we had Seth. She bounced back from Seth again pretty good. And then she got pregnant with Noah. Six months after Seth was born. Or Noah was born. And I knew something was different this time. Noah was born. She started losing weight. She started crying all the time. She couldn't get out of bed because she was sick and we didn't know what was on. And she had all the pressure of being a pastor's wife, which is, by the way, the hardest job in the entire world. And that's a fact, amen? By the way, if you go to this church or any other church, never judge a preacher on his wife. You know what the Bible says about a pastor's wife? Peter's wife's mother. That's all it ever says about a pastor's wife. She's there to be a blessing to her husband and to her children. She's not there to be an administrator to the church and do all those other things. And some women do, and they're very good at doing it, but not everybody's the same. Let me ask you this, was Hosea called to preach? Was he? What was his wife like? Was Moses married when the bush burned? Remember Miriam and them starting having a problem with Moses' wife? He was married when the bush burned and God knew who his wife was. It didn't turn out too good for her, did it? And so she had all the pressure of being a... a mom, and a secretary, and all that other stuff, and trying to recover from all this stuff. You know, it's funny, when things go wrong, people think they always have the answer. You know? And after a while, Sam Gipp put a post on Facebook the other day, he said, pray for me. I haven't gotten any sleep. I'm driving 300 miles. I'm going to start a meeting there. The pain is really bad." And he's like, and no, I already tried the thing that you were going to tell me to do and it didn't work. All I want is your prayers. He said, you don't understand how discouraging it can be when well-meaning Christians over and over and over and over try to tell you what to do when you're looking for the answer and maybe that's not the answer, right? And so, I'm not saying that out of anything to help us grow, right? And so, she had all those problems, and I knew something was wrong. And towards the end here, I'd reach over in the bed, and it'd be like you put two gallons of water in the bed when she was sleeping. She couldn't sleep. Her heart was always racing. Her heart was always pounding. And, you know, she'd have these problems, and they were starting to be emotional problems. And, you know, in the middle of some of these problems, I'd say, look, just calm down or whatever. And she'd say, you think I want to be like this? You know, if I could control this, don't you think I would? It's something that I don't know what's going on. We tried to find the answer. What was the answer? It was physical. It was spiritual. It was mental. It was all kinds of things just coming together and converging. And all this. Past hurt while this stuff happened, it started surfacing because it never been dealt with. I'll tell you what, if you're a Christian and you're a human being, you know what is healthy? Deal with the past hurts in your life and don't push them to the back of your head. Deal with them because they will always resurface if you don't deal with them. That's just a fact, amen? It's like a seed. It's easier to deal with it today than tomorrow. And they started coming back. And then at the same time, I can help. Can you take the boys out? At the same time, I had an assistant. And all these problems are converging, OK? And we're going somewhere with this, right? But all these problems were converging, and all these past hurts. And Rachel was a very, very sensitive person. And a lot of times, what people saw as the hard shale, or the wall, or the, you know what it was? It was a wall of protection. And let me tell you this. Whenever you see somebody that appears to be hard, they're really very, very sensitive people that have been hurt. And deal with them that way, please. That's a fact, amen? The harder the exterior, the more sensitive the person is, and they're just trying to make up for that. And so I had an assistant at the same time, and he left the church, and he told the people that, you know, I shouldn't be a pastor of the church and all this stuff, and it was based on my wife and what she was going through, and they didn't agree with the way we were trying to treat her and help her with this. And when that happened, All this hurt coming together was just, it was just too much. You know what I mean? And she'd come to church and she'd just cry because of the things that were said and just trying to deal with that all the time. And people were like, you know, she was just having a hard time dealing with a rejection and things like that. You know, people's comments and stuff, they can, they can be cruel and all. Why are you saying this preacher? Because it's time for us as a church to be a hospital and stop trying to fit people in boxes and stop trying to judge them and make them who you think they should be. Amen. Sometimes people have problems. I have problems and you have problems and don't judge people because they have different problems than you have. And we went to California to see a counselor, and her name's Debbie Pride, and she has some great books. And she went there, and she went and talked to Rachel, and Rachel just loved this lady. And she said, you know what? You have the sweetest wife in the world, and you know what? She's very artistic. These are her qualities, you know? But she's been wounded, so you're just going to have to pray that she's going to be able to recover slowly, and then she'll be able to deal with these things. And she read all of Debbie Pride's books. I mean, all, you see them, took notes and say, man, I can't wait till I get better. She was looking forward to getting better. I can't wait till I get better so I can start teaching some of this stuff and, and, and sharing it and helping people because people need this. This is so good. And mentally and emotionally, she was starting to head in the right direction. She was healing. But it was like a wound that kept getting ripped open, if you know what I mean. And it never had time to fully heal before it would get ripped open again. And she just had all this positive change was happening in our personal life and the church's positive change was happening. But it was just too little too late. And she was just sensitive, didn't know how to tackle it. She was tired of being rejected. And you know one thing I love about Rachel is she loved and she reached out to so many people. And it was under the surface, you know, it wasn't in a visible way. And last, last Sunday, this young man right here, we stand up, turn around, then you can sit down. That's Vindela's brother. And she'd say, I want you to pray for this young man. His name's Santiago. She said, he's been through a lot and had a lot of hurts in his life and just pray for him because I think God can get a hold of this young man. And he came last Sunday and he was sitting here and Rachel walked in and I watched her walk in and she saw him, her face lit up, she started crying, she was so happy he was here. She went and sat behind him and we started talking about it after the service, you know. But there were so many people that she would just reach out to and try to help. And man, it was such a blessing to my soul to see that. If you ever got to know Rachel in a personal way, you'll know she was the sweetest, kindest, most caring and giving person. But this sickness got the best of her. It was emotional, it was physical, and it was spiritual. And she took her own life. Say, why are you talking about this? You shouldn't say stuff like this. Look, I'm saying what the Lord wanted me to say. I'm dealing with things and questions that people have going in their head that nobody ever wants to address. But God wants me to address them. Amen? And she took her life, and that death is hard to deal with. Wouldn't you agree? But this kind is the hardest, most difficult kind of death that anyone will ever have to deal with. And some of you have had to deal with it. Hopefully, we'll be able to give you a little help this morning. And when this happened, And I don't say this to say spiritual, it sounds spiritual, but it's just part of the story. When this happened yesterday, I was fasting and I was on day six of a six day fast. And I was fasting and I was praying for Rachel's physical, spiritual and emotional healing, right? And I was praying for her and Ashton was fasting and praying, Roe was fasting and praying. We were all praying together every day. I was praying with action twice a day and and I was praying for God to heal her and she got healed. All right. Amen. Sometimes the answer comes and it's not in the way that we're looking for. And I know to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord. And I don't care what your doctrine is and what you think about that, because I know what the Bible says. And I know what Romans chapter 8 said, and I know how Samson died. You remember how Samson died? He took his own life. And in Hebrews chapter 11, Samson is listed in the hall of faith. You say, was it a spiritual thing? Was it a spirit that was inside of her? I don't know. I honestly don't. But I know Elijah was suicidal. And it wasn't a spirit inside of him. I know Jonah was suicidal. Right? And sometimes it can be a physical thing. And sometimes it can be a spiritual thing. I had a preacher call me yesterday. He said, uh, brother Cummings, he said, let me tell you this. He said, you deal with the grieving and this isn't a conversation for today. And he pastors a big church and he's a huge blessing to me. And he said, but I was in the middle of an eight month depression. And he said, I drove up to the golden gate bridge, one of the most famous suicide spots in the world. And he said, I stopped and I went there with that purpose. but I didn't get out of the car. And he said, you can't understand it unless you've been there. And he said, I'll tell you preacher, I'll tell you, but today's not the day for that conversation, but I'll tell you. He said, mentally, you just can't find a way out. You just don't see a way out. And, uh, I was up last night and I was praying and I was, I was spending time with the Lord and I was wondering about these things. And God gave me some verses. Will you turn to John chapter 11 and verse 25. God gave me this verse. Preacher, why are you saying all this stuff? I want to help you. Amen? And I know that people have problems. Preachers have problems just like anybody else does. Amen? And I know you're going to go through some things, and I want the husbands here to know. what wives need, and I want them to see from my life some of the mistakes I've made. You know what I thank God for? I thank God for this last year that I got those things straightened out. And I can say I'm sorry. Amen. And I know I've hurt you very deep, but I'm sorry. Will you forgive me? You know, not too long ago we got on our knees right there beside the bed and we were praying and she said, Lord, help me to trust my husband again. I know he loves me. I know we don't do this on purpose. Help these things to heal. And and then she she said the next day, she's like, man, I love you. I know I always have. But God's healing my heart towards you and these hurts. And she said, thank you for being kind and thank you for being compassionate and thank you for being caring. Amen. And all these things happened in John chapter 11 and verse 25. Look what the Bible says. Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection and the life. He that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live. Whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die. Believest thou this? Let me ask you that. Is there a qualification on that verse? There's no qualification on it. If you want to put a qualification on it, that's up to you. But God didn't put a qualification on it. And I got a note that nobody ever wants to get. You know what 75% of that note was about? The Lord. You know, we were married for 10 years. 10 years. And every day for 10 years, my wife got up in the morning and she got her coffee and she opened her Bible and she read her Bible. She read her Bible through 16 or 17 times in the little more than 10 years we'd been married. And you know what? I could talk to Rachel. I said the other day, I'm having a conversation or I said, you know, I was thinking about that story there about these people being possessed with devils. And I said, uh, you know what I was thinking? I said, this little boy had it and this person had it. And I said, is it somebody's fault when they have a spirit come on him? And she said, from that little boy and stuff, she's like, I wondered that too. I don't think that it's always a person's fault if they have a spirit. Isn't that a good insight? Some people do have spirits and they need to get rid of them and the Lord needs to get those things out. But you know what? It's not always somebody's fault that they have. Was it the little boy's fault? Amen? So we were talking about that but we would we would our conversations were about the Lord and they were about the Bible and I appreciated that so much about it and Then another verse the Lord gave me it said in Romans chapter 8 31 through 39 I'm persuaded that neither life nor death nor things present nor things to come nor height nor depth nor principalities, nor powers, or you know, nothing shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus. And I know my wife was saved and I know she loved the Lord with all her heart. And I know the trials of life became too much. And I know she got to where she couldn't take it and she couldn't handle it. And she went home to be with the Lord. I know that. Now, is that going to change anything for me having a very difficult time going forward? It helps. It helps. How many of you had a spouse die? Can I see your hand? It's difficult, isn't it? Getting this suit out of the closet this morning was the most difficult part of my day. But you know what? I love the Lord. God's going to get me through. And he's going to get the church through. Amen? And he's going to get my boys through. And God's going to do a wonderful work. So practical things that I I want everybody to these are instructions more. Okay. Number one. I told my kids that mom had an accident. She loved him very much. She was very sick. She had problems and she had problems. She had a sickness in her mind. And she went home to be with the Lord. And it's not their fault. And she loved them very, very deeply. And I don't want anything more than that said to my kids. Okay? Number two, some people are very well-meaning. I had somebody call and they said, you know, I don't understand how somebody could think that's okay to leave a husband with, look, that's not helpful. It's not. The most difficult part of this for me, a lot of difficult things, but one difficult thing is having conversations with people that judged and looked down and didn't understand and didn't have compassion. That's difficult. But please don't say any negative things. Go lock them in your box and put them in the garbage can and let the garbage truck come. I can't handle that, I'm just telling you, I can't. Abigail, Hope, Faith, all the family members, they can't, don't, don't. Please, my kids, okay? The next thing. Learn from this, and we talked about this a little. Stop judging people. Be careful how you talk to hurting people. Please, listen. People that are hurting hurt other people, okay? Take yourself out of the equation and start to recognize those hurts and try to minister to that. I'll get phone calls where people call me, Brother Bez, you blah, blah, blah. I can't believe, you know, you are so, right? And in my mind, it's all untrue and false. And I don't get angry. You know what I do? I call them back and I say, Brother so-and-so, I'm sorry that I've hurt you. Can you tell me so I have a greater understanding of how I've hurt you? Because I don't want to do this again to you or anybody else. You know what they'll say? They'll say this, this and this. And I say, well, I'm sorry, that's not what I meant by that. But that doesn't give me an excuse for having ignorance and just overlooking that. Please forgive me. And I'll try not to do that again. But if I get mad at them, how am I going to minister to someone that does that, right? Five days ago, she had a conversation with somebody that went like this, you know, you, did this wrong, and this wrong, and this wrong, and this wrong, and this wrong, and you've done this, this, and this, and the assistant that used to be here went all over the world telling everyone about you, and nobody down here in Florida likes you. They all know who the real you are, and blah, blah, blah. And she had the best day that she'd ever had prior to that conversation. After that conversation, I couldn't pull her out. Listen, when somebody is in that mindset, your words, they're worse than bullets. Worse than bullets. Amen? Make sure that everything you say is used for edification. The next thing I want to say, if someone asks for your forgiveness, give it to them. I've had four people contact me and they said, preacher, I just want you to know this last week your wife called me. She was crying and she'd asked me to forgive her and to please call her back. And they said, but I was mad and I didn't want to call her back. I said, thanks a lot, buddy. You're amazing. Thank you. You know, I try to be kind to those people, and the Lord will help me with that kindness, but it's difficult now. Right? Give it to them. And another thing, this is very, very, very, very important for healing. Because we all, these things happen, and we all sometimes, we feel guilty about different things. You know what you need to do for your own good, and what the Lord would have you to do? If you feel guilty about something, take ownership of it. See, I did that and that wasn't right. Lord, forgive me and I'll learn from this and I won't do that anymore. But don't beat yourself up over it and don't let it go over and over, over and over and over in your head. It was my fault. It's not your fault. Amen. Take ownership and don't beat yourself up and learn from it and God will forgive anything. Because guilt doesn't heal anybody. And you don't need to be going through guilt. Just tell it to the Lord. Learn from it. Don't do it again. I have nothing, I have nothing, I have nothing but good memories about my life. Amen? Nothing but good memories. We've been to California. We've been down to Cancun. We've been to the Smoky Mountains. We've been all over Florida. We've been to Tennessee. We've been to Ohio. We've been all kinds of places. Amen? Been to Idaho. Been to Boise, Idaho. And you know what? I have nothing but good, wonderful, wonderful memories about my wife. And there were difficult times, but let me tell you this. If you're married, you go home. Give your wife a hug. Let him know you love him. Let him know you appreciate him. Because no man knows what a day holds. No man knows what a day holds. And I'm thankful that I told my wife I loved her every day. I'm thankful that I reached out to her every day. I'm thankful that I was kind and compassionate and caring. I'm thankful that when she was sick and not able to take care of some things anymore because she wasn't physically able. I'm thankful that I was able to take care of those things for her. Thankful I was able to cook some meals and get some kids dressed and take some kids to school. Amen. And she would feel so guilty. She couldn't do it. I said, look, you're sick. It's like cancer. It's just a different kind of disease. I said look I do this and I'm happy to do it and please don't ever beat yourself up because God made me strong. I said two are better than one and I said that's what I'm here for and I said maybe one day I'll be weak and I'll be down and then you'll be able to help me.