Amen. We come now to the exposition of God's holy word and congregation if you would please. Let's take our Bibles out together and turn back in the Word of God to Ephesians chapter 5. Ephesians chapter 5, as we continue looking at these practical teachings related to the home and the family and the various duties of each member of the family. Ephesians chapter 5, we want to read verses 22 through 24. As the Apostle Paul begins this section by speaking specifically to the duties for the wife in the family. Ephesians 5 and verse 22 says, Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church. He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Let's now pause together for prayer. Let us pray. Heavenly Father, we bow before you now as we come before your word. And Father, we thank you that in coming before your Word, we have a Word that is infallible. It is perfectly inerrant. It is all-sufficient. And Father, it is a Word that is relevant for us today as your people. We pray God that you would help us, that we would come to your word in a manner worthy of its truth, that we would come with a heart of teachableness and humbleness and a spirit ready to receive that word implanted, able to save our souls. Father, in this world of lies and deception, we praise you that we can turn to your word and find a clear, unambiguous, and absolutely trustworthy word for us today. Father, I pray that we would not only be those who hear your word, but that we would receive it and believe it and obey it as your instruction for us, your people. It is our prayer, Father, that those who do not have Christ as their Savior that you would be pleased, in accordance with your sovereign purpose, to show them their sin and to draw them to our Savior, that they might be redeemed and saved from that coming doom. Father, we pray this all in Christ's holy name. Amen. As we come today, we are continuing in our exposition here in Ephesians, speaking to this subject of the family. Speaking of these various duties within the family. And so Paul shares a word regarding wives. That's what we're looking at now. Then there will be a word that is addressed to husbands, beginning in verse 25. Then in chapter 6, verse 1, there is a word to children. And then finally, verses 5 through 9 of chapter 6, there is this word to slaves. And so you have these various practical teachings and instructions for God's people. Now, last time we looked at these verses before us, verses 22 through 24, and we gave a basic exposition of the text. We looked at it, and we'll just quickly review. We said that first of all, we find in verse 22, the duty for wives. And what is that duty, wives? Submit. It is the word hupotasso, which means to place or put oneself under the authority of someone else. What is the context of this submission? Well, again, verse 22, it is your own husbands. This is the one to whom she is to submit. Just as she is to submit to the governing authorities, Romans 13, and she is to submit to the pastors of the church, she is to submit to that third sphere of responsibility, and that's specifically to her husband. We noted also, thirdly, the quality of this submission. She is to submit to her own husband as to the Lord. It is an act of obedience to the Lord. What is the basis? We said it is because we read the husband is the head, verse 23, for the husband is the head of the wife. And it is analogous to Christ being the head of the church, the Savior of the body. And then finally, verse 24, what is the extent of this submission? Well, the extent is stated there at the very end of verse 24. It says that the wives are to be to their own husbands in everything, in every area of life. And we said, of course, an exception would be if the husband instructs the wife to sin or do something illegal. That, of course, would be the only exceptions. But it is a comprehensive, it is a full-orbed submission that she has to her husband in everything. Then we noted, having given a brief exposition of the text, a word or two of explanation. And very practically, we said, here are some things that this means, and here are some things that this does not mean. We began with the negative, and we said this idea of wives submitting to their husbands, it doesn't mean that she has inferiority. It doesn't mean a loss of all of her liberty. It doesn't mean that she is a piece of property. It doesn't mean that she abandons all of her abilities. That's not what submission means. But what does it mean? Well, we had eight different things, and I'll just read them out without much comment. It means, number one, that it is the wife's responsibility to submit. It is in the middle voice. Wives are to submit themselves to their husbands. Secondly, we said it is mandatory. It is not optional. It's not a take it or leave it. This is the word of God declaring the will of God for the wife. It is to be continuous. That is, well, I will submit when I agree, but if I don't agree, then I'm not going to submit. Well, that's not what submission is. Submission is continuous. Fourthly, we said that it is unconditional. That is, we don't come up with a list of preconditions before I'm willing to submit to him. Well, I'll submit to him. whenever he loves me like Christ loves the church. No, there is no if-then in this passage. The husband has a duty that he is to do regardless of the situation, and the wife has a duty that she is to do regardless of the performance of her husband. She is to submit, and that is unconditional. We said, number five, that this is a positive thing. It is not saying what women are not to do. It is telling them what they are to do. So this is stated in a very positive way. What are wives to do? We will say, very positively, they are to submit to their husbands in everything. We said, number six, that this is a spiritual issue. The quality of submission reflects the quality of the wife's spiritual condition. If she is a godly wife, then this teaching is embraced and loved and affirmed, and there is this immediacy to want to do what God says. If there's any kind of recoiling at the idea of submission, that shows a resistance not to the Bible, not to the pastor, it is a resistance to God himself. And that speaks to her immaturity, her rebellion, and her sinful spirit. We said, number seven, that this submission has to do both with her attitudes and her actions. It's not just that she externally obeys her husband, but that she obeys from the heart whatever he says. He is the head of the household. He sets the agenda. He makes the decisions. And the wife gladly, with a spirit of joy, submits to whatever he, as the leader in the home, says is to be done. Whether it is practically, whether it is financially, whether it is as it relates to rearing the children, whatever the subject is, wives submit to your own husbands in everything, so it includes everything. And so we said number eight, this really is kind of the culmination of all of this. Submission is comprehensive. This is the will of God for wives, and it will be the will of God for wives. into the consummation. This is not something that is true for the first century or true for another generation or something that's old-fashioned that we've somehow made progress and gotten beyond. No, this is the inerrant, infallible Word of God to families and to wives, and it has the same authority as when the Holy Spirit originally inspired Paul to write these words. So, as we look at the text today, I want to continue in our discussion of this subject. And we've already laid out just real quickly a basic overview of what the text says and what it means and doesn't mean. I want us to consider what are the various duties which are included in the wife's submission. And if you care to know the background of this, I am going to be following very closely the teaching of Joel Beeky. Many of you are familiar with the name Joel Beeky. He has written an excellent book entitled, Living in a Godly Marriage. Now you may recall, I actually recommended this book at the beginning of this series, but we will be leaning on it heavily as we continue in our study. And by the way, Joel Beeky's work. is heavily leaning on a Puritan's work by the name, the individual's name is William Gouge. Now I quoted from William Gouge last time, and some of you may remember that. William Gouge wrote, he was a Puritan, and in 1622 he wrote a work which is considered the gold standard of reformed Puritanical teaching related to the home. It was entitled originally the Of Domestical Duties, and it has been reprinted in some of the language updated by Reformation Heritage Books into a three-volume series of books entitled Building a Godly Home, and I would highly recommend that work as well. And what we're going to be looking at is basically teaching that arises from those books. Joel Beeky, in summarizing the biblical teaching of the wife's submission, He says and identifies in his work four duties that are included related to the wife's submission to her husband. And so this is how we're going to basically consider in the next week or so what this teaching includes. Number one, there is included in the wife's submission a reverence. of her husband. Submission includes a reverence of her husband. Number two, it includes an obedience to her husband. Number three, an assistance for her husband. And then number four, a modesty for her husband. And so this is what Joel Beakey in his book gives. This is also what William Gouge gives. This is the basic approach of Reformed Christianity to the subject of the wife's submission. The wife is to reverence her husband. obey her husband, assist her husband, and to dress and act modestly for her husband. So this is not anything that is extraordinary. This is not some radical teaching of some weird fringe teacher. This is the mainstream. of what this idea of wifely submission is according to Reformed tradition and Reformed theology. And so this week, at least this week and perhaps another week, we're going to be talking about the first of these four, and that is the duty of wives to reverence their husbands. The duty to reverence their husbands. And just as we began here, look here, chapter 5 of Ephesians. Look with me please at the last verse of this chapter. We'll be revisiting this in a minute. Here, as he's speaking to the husbands, nevertheless, let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself and let the wife, and here's the part we want to see, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. That is the idea, as we will see, of reverence. The wife is to reverence her husband. The husband is an authority over her. And so there is to be this due respect unto her husband. Now I realize that this kind of idea is so remote in our modern day. Because we live in a day where very little respect is seen on almost any level whatsoever. I mean, there was a day And I remember being taught as a child that when it related to the civil authorities, you were to show great deference and respect. In other words, if you saw a police officer, you weren't to call them a cop or the fuzz. That would be very disrespectful. You called them police officer and you were very respectful regardless of what you thought about the police because it was a position of authority over you and you had the responsibility to show that kind of authority. That's not something that is unique or strange or odd. That ought to be a part of that basic respect that is shown. You go into a courtroom, you speak to that judge in a disrespectful way, you might spend a night in the county jail. You are to speak to him as your honor, which is a statement of great respect. Now, he may be a terrible judge, he may be a liberal judge, but there was that deference that is always maintained because of the position of authority that that judge represents. This is true as it relates to the church. The pastors of the church are to be treated with this kind of respect. That was very often the case. It's not so much the case in our day to day. Pastors often, you know, it's kind of like, you know, Rodney Dangerfield, I don't get any respect kind of thing. You probably heard him say that. There was a time whenever the pastor was spoken of and referred to, and you would never speak in a way that was disrespectful. I mean, I couldn't even, growing up as a child, I could not imagine going up to a pastor and calling him by his first name. I mean, that would be unbelievable. It was always pastor and the last name. And then gradually over the years, these things changed. That's just this idea of respect for the office that is involved. Well, this also relates, and that's just a couple of examples in those other two spheres, of this kind of respect that a wife should have toward her husband. She is to have a reverence, that's the word that Beaky and that's the word that Gouge used when he spoke of that relationship, a reverence for her husband. This is what the Puritans call this idea of reverencing your husband, quote, the great duty of every wife, end of quote. It is what they called, quote, what distinguishes her as a good wife, end of quote. In other words, according to the Puritans, if you had a wife that showed disrespect, she was not a good wife. She was a life living in rebellion and sin and obstinacy. The mark of a good wife and the great duty of every wife is that she has a respect for her husband. This is the duty of every wife. Now, what I want to do is I want to talk about what is the meaning of this and then what are the characteristics of this and what is the basis of this respect that is to be shown. First of all, the meaning of the wife's reverence of her husband. One Puritan said this, and I'll just quote him. His name is Steele. He said, quote, it is this idea of reverence to the husband. It is a true, cordial, and conjugal reverence made up of honor, love, and respect. It is holding your husband in the highest esteem." Joel Beakey gives a shorter definition, which I think is very helpful and succinct. Joel Beakey says this, and I quote him again, this idea of a wife reverencing her husband is, reverence is, quote, a deep heart felt respect, a deep heartfelt respect. So that's a very good definition when we think about this idea of reverence. Joel Beakey continues in his book, and let me just quote from him. He says, quote, the wife ought to honor her husband, holding his person and everything about him in the highest esteem, simply because there is no one so dear to her as he is. Surely she esteemed him when she consented to marry him, and therefore she ought to still. If, for whatever reason, she finds herself no longer able to honor his person, then she ought to honor his place over her, since his place does not fluctuate through his character. And his character, of course, it can fluctuate. Then he quotes from Richard Baxter. How many of you are familiar with the name Richard Baxter, another great Puritan? He writes this. giving this counsel, quote, do not behave toward them, that is, toward your husband, do not behave toward them with irreverence and contempt if the worth of their persons does not desire honor, yet their place does. In other words, it may be that your husband is, guess what, you find out later, he's not perfect. He may have sin in his life. He may mess up. Well, is that a cause for you to say, well, I no longer have to show him any reverence? No. Even if his person does not bespeak honor because of his position, great honor is to be shown. He continues reading from Beeky. He says, whatever her husband is in himself and however others may regard him, If she properly reverences him, then to her, he is what the Puritans called a non-such, a singular and distinct person, a person unequaled in excellence, because he is her husband," end of quote. Then Joel Beakey quotes from Ezekiel Hopkins, another great Puritan, and he says this, quote, Hopkins says, quote, she must look upon him as that person whom God, out of all the numerous millions of mankind, has particularly chosen and selected for her, and one whom he saw fittest and best to be her head and guide, end of quote. This, of course, is more than just about you agreed to marry him, because congregation, we believe in the sovereignty of God, amen? It was by God's appointment. And so, again, the quote there suggests that connection with this is our duty before God. So that is the basic idea of what it means to have this reverence for your husband. It is this deep, heartfelt respect for him, regardless of his person. because of his position over you, that idea of authority. Secondly, what is the basis of the wife's reverence of her husband? And again, this is not anything that's coming from your pastor. If you want to get mad, get mad at William Gouge. And he died a long time ago, several hundred years ago, so he really doesn't care. But he lists various things that form the basis of this reverence you are to have for your husband. And I'll just read through these and we'll look at a few verses that he uses at each point. Number one, the basis of the wife's reverence of her husband is that God, who ordained all powers that be, has power to place his image on whom he will. and to whom God gives higher rank and authority ought to be acknowledged as due to him." Basically, putting that in modern language, God ordains the power that be. And whoever God ordains the powers that be, then it is our duty to show that reverence and that respect. And in the context of marriage, that relates to the wife's duty to submit to those over, specifically the husband. Turn with me, if you will, in your Bibles back to Romans chapter 13. This is the verse that William Gouge, one of them, that he uses. And again, I would highly recommend getting these books. They've been reprinted and they've been modernized by Reformation Heritage, but they are excellent resources. Some of our families, I think, even have some of these. But listen here, Paul states in Romans 13 and verse 1, this idea of God ordaining the powers that be. And this, of course, has to do with the civil authorities, with the government. Romans 13 and verse 1, let every soul be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God. And the authorities that exist are appointed by God. This is a clear, unambiguous, Straightforward statement that the powers that be are appointed by God and they exist by the sovereign rule of Almighty God. And so this verse is a verse that William Gould uses to show that God has placed you as a wife under your husband and he is to be reverenced because it is God who has placed him over you. And this respect is to be shown to him, because there is to be honor to whom honor is due, because all are appointed by God. And in this case, speaking of the husband and the wife, we read in Genesis 3.16 that God told the woman, he shall rule over you. And that is that statement of authority over the wife. Secondly, William Goode says this. He says, number two, nature has honored the male over the female, so that where they are linked together in one yoke, speaking of marriage, It is given by nature that he should govern and she obey." This is by nature itself, shows this to be the case. We can, of course, read the scriptures that speak about the wife being the weaker vessel, about how Eve was deceived and not Adam. We could go through all of those realities, but it is by nature itself. Number three, William Gooch says, another basis for this reverence that a wife is to have for her husband is seen in the titles and the names by which a husband is set forth in the Bible. And these names and titles affirm a higher rank and authority found in him. Turn with me, please, in your Bibles over to 1 Corinthians chapter 11. You say, what kind of titles and names are found that speak of this higher rank and authority? Well, we've seen these before, but in this context, we see them in this setting. Notice with me, please, in 1 Corinthians 11 and verse 3, but I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. So, the head of Christ is God, the head of the man is Christ, the head of the woman is who? The man. And that speaks of this idea of rank and authority. This is seen again if you look in verse 7, not only the title of being her head, But the description here that the man is the image and glory of God, verse number seven, for a man indeed ought not to cover his head since he is the image and glory of God. But woman is the glory of man. So you see that distinction there, and that speaks of higher rank and authority. The glory of God, the glory of man. Those two things are not the same. And then if you'll look with me over in 1 Peter 3, in 1 Peter 3 and verse 6, another name or title which shows this basis. for which this reverence is to be shown, not only is the husband the head of the woman and the image and glory of God, but she is here, the example, Sarah, refers to her husband as Lord. And so notice verses 5 and 6 of 1 Peter 3, For in this matter, in former times, the holy women who trusted God also adorned themselves being submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him, Lord, whose daughters you are, if you do good and are not afraid with any terror." So there you have that third title, the idea of Lord. Obviously, that bespeaks a higher rank and authority. You can't argue around this. Paul says, Sarah referred to her husband as Lord, and he's not saying this to say, but that was an evil patriarchal thing that we need to get away from. No, he was saying this as a positive thing, as a thing that needs to be affirmed as a wonderful example of this idea of place and rank and submission and reverence showed unto her husband. So these names and titles, they affirm this place that bespeaks the reverence she is to show. Number four, again following Gouge's list here, the persons whom the husband, by virtue of his place, and whom the wife, by virtue of her place, represent, most clearly prove as much that is the husband's authority and the wife's reverence to him, for the husband represents Christ and the wife, the church. You say, Pastor, where do you even get that? Well, turn back to Ephesians 5 and look at verse 23. Ephesians 5 and verse 23, For the husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church, and He is the Savior of the body. Again, following our list here, what are the reasons that Gogue gives that the wife is to show reverence to her husband? Number five, fifthly, the circumstances noted by the Holy Spirit at the woman's creation imply no less. because she was created after, for, and from him. So turn back, if we were there just a moment ago, turn back to 1 Corinthians 11, and just note with me please here these familiar verses. 1 Corinthians 11, look at verses eight and nine. We just read verse seven, but now look at verses eight and nine. Here again, this is the apostle Paul as an apostle of the Lord Jesus Christ in the New Covenant, stating these abiding truths, which are universal and permanent and abiding for our age. Verse 8, for man is not from woman, but woman from man. Nor was man created for woman, but woman for the man." So here again you have this statement about the circumstances in which the scriptures describe the creation of the woman. Stated very simply, the woman was created after man, she was created from man, and she was created for man. After, from, and for. And this place of authority that the husband has is because of the very nature of the created order going all the way back to Genesis. So those are some of the reasons that William Gouge gives why it is that wives are to show respect or reverence to their husbands. We don't really need all of those reasons because the Bible already says that the wife is to respect her husband. Amen? So hopefully we don't need a whole lot of convincing. But you know how the Puritans were, they didn't allow one little leaf to not be unturned as they would flesh out the teaching on this subject. So what is the meaning of this reverence? It is this deep, heartfelt respect. What is the basis? Well, all of those things that we listed there, and ultimately the fact that God commands it, and that is sufficient. Now, number three, I want to consider the character of the wife's reverence of her husband. It's one thing to say she is to reverence her husband and to say that this is a biblical thing. But now, the real question is this, what does that look like? What practically is the nature, the character, the attitudes and actions which this is in a real-life setting. Well, again, following William Gouge, who did a very good job on this subject, he describes the character of this reverence as being both inward and outward. So, wives, whenever you think about this reverence you are to have for your husband, You need to think of it in terms of this inner reverence that you have, and then this outer reverence. That's the way Gogue puts it. Let's talk first of all of this inner reverence. And I want you to turn back to Ephesians 5. Ephesians 5 and verse 33. And we read this verse at the very beginning, but I want to read it again, really just the last part, which has to do with our subject. In chapter 5, verse 33, Paul says at the end of this verse, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. The word here respects is the word phobetia. It is where we get our word phobia. Now what is a phobia? Well a phobia, we use that word today. It comes right out of the Greek language. The idea of a phobia is what? It has to do with fear, doesn't it? That's why this idea of respect has this element of reverence to it. And that's why the Puritans used the word reverence. Because it's more than just, yeah, he's a pretty swell guy. It is this idea of having a godly awe and fear, as it relates to him. This word here is the idea of having an awe of, or of revering. That's the basic meaning of the word. And congregation, that's the word the Holy Spirit used to describe this duty of wives to their husbands. It doesn't simply say, wives, you're to love your husband. Are you to be nice to your husband? Are you to be kind to your husband? Are you to be a good cook for your husband? All of those things are great. We love that. But no, the word that is used here is a word which its root is the word for fear. And so, we're not trying to candy-coat the Word of God. The Word of God speaks of this reverence that a wife has toward her husband. Again, you say, what does this have to do with this inward reverence? Well, you have to have this inward reverence before the outward reverence will manifest. Listen to William Gouge as I quote him. He says, quote, inward reverence is respect filled with all, which a wife has in her heart for her husband, esteeming him worthy of all honor for his place and office's sake, because he is her husband. So what's the reason? Because he's her husband. A respect, a reverence, or in the words of Gouge, this respect filled with all because of his person and because of his place. He continues, unless this inward reverence and this due respect of a husband be first placed in the heart of a wife, either no outward reverence and obedience will be performed at all, or if it is performed, it will be very poorly grounded, being only shown as a show, and hypocritical, and even deceitful. You see, there's a way in which there could be this outward reverence and respect, but our heart doesn't have this respect, and this honor, and this reverence that ought to be there. In congregation, God is concerned not just with our actions, He's concerned with our hearts, amen? It is from the heart that flow all the issues of life. And so it is from the heart and inwardly that this reverence is to be manifested outwardly. So that which is inward is manifested outwardly, whether it's respect or a lack of respect. William Gouge suggests when it comes to outward reverence a couple of things. You say, what does this include? Well, really it includes everything about her relationship with him and her conduct and her communication. So William Gouge basically divides up this reverence for the wife as outwardly it is manifested with a number one respectful conduct And then number two, a respectful communication. A respectful conduct and a respectful communication. Turn with me again to 1 Peter, we were there just a moment ago. And I want to read, we read the last couple of verses of this familiar text in 1 Peter 3, where Peter calls wives to be submissive to their own husbands. And we considered the example of Sarah, who obeyed and called her husband Abraham Lord, sign of reverence, but notice, if you will, in verses 1 and 2 of the text, this idea of respectful conduct. Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives. So here this idea of submission, it doesn't matter whether your husband's a good guy or a bad guy, whether he's a holy guy or an unholy guy, if he's saved or if he's lost, still the duty of wives. If she's married to a lost husband, she still is to be submissive. Because that act of submission may be, in God's grace, the means by which that lost husband is won to Christ. So again, all these exceptions save sin are eliminated. Look at verse 2. It says, when they, that is the husband, observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. What I want you to notice there is at the end of verse 2, this idea of her conduct. Notice how verses 1 and 2 end with this idea of the wife's conduct. This is very important. Her conduct, verse 1, is to be that of submission, and it is to be in everything. Verse number two, the prayer and hope is God willing, they, the husband, will observe this. And notice how it is stated in verse two, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. Here we have this idea of her conduct What conduct is being spoken of here? Well, it is the conduct of the wife as it relates to the husband. That's the context. And notice what is attached at the end of verse two with her conduct. Chase conduct accompanied by what? By fear. By fear. There's that idea of reverence. There is to be, in the words of John Gill, a reverence to the husband, a giving due honor to him. So the conduct of the wife is to be respectful. That's exactly what is stated here. There in all of her conduct, all of her activities and actions, those actions, those activities, all of that is to be communicating a reverence to her husband, a deep heartfelt respect to her husband. This is what Peter says is the duty of wives. Chase conduct, but not just verse 2, chase conduct, chase conduct accompanied by fear, that reverence due unto him. William Gouge says this, quote, it is gracious conduct that gives evidence to the husband that his wife respects his position and his authority which God has given him." The illustration that Gogue shares is from Genesis 24, verse 65, when it speaks of Rebecca, where she veiled herself when her husband was approaching, and they were going to have an encounter. That idea of veiling yourself in your husband's presence was in the ancient days a sign of respect. So that is very literally conduct that communicated respect and reverence, literally veiling herself. Now that's a different culture, but that's an example of conduct communicating reverence and respect. Secondly, not only is this outward reverence to be this respectful conduct that she has, but secondly, respectful communication that she has. Respectful communication. And Gouge suggests, Beakey, others suggest that this has to do in two areas. which basically is all the time and everywhere and every place. This is respectful communication in the husband's presence and number two, in the husband's absence. She is to have respectful communication in her husband's presence when she's conversing with him and in his absence, when he is not present. Let me discuss this very quickly. This idea of respectful communication in his presence. What does this mean, this idea of this respect, this reverence? Well, it is speech, that is whatever she says, that is obviously respectful, meek, and moderated. Now, again, these are not my words. These are the words of Gouge and Beakey. This idea of respectful communication whenever she speaks to her husband. Wives, whenever you are talking with your husband, your conversation with him is to be marked with a respectful tone. It is to be meek and moderated. It is never to be irritable or argumentative. Now, we realize that both husbands and wives sin all the time in communication. We blow it. The husband will say something and he shouldn't say it. What does he do? He needs to go and ask for forgiveness to his wife. And likewise, when the wife sins by not having this type of tone and demeanor, that is a sin that needs to be confessed and repented of. There is to be this respectful, moderated tone which speaks of respect. And just like if you're stopped by a police officer, you don't, you know, obviously a lot of people do and they end up getting shot as a result, but police officers are to be treated with that high level of respect. And what do you do whenever they pull you over? Hello, officer. How can I help you? What do you need? And whatever they ask for, you do it immediately without asking any questions. You don't act as if you're in charge. There's that respect. If you're in a courtroom and there is this judge, you speak to him and you don't say, hey, buster, I don't agree with you. No, you say, your honor, if it pleases you. It's very respectful language. Well, congregation, this is true as it relates to the wife and the husband. I don't mean that this is some sort of a caricature of something that is ludicrous. We know that the haters of Christ are going to take these things and twist them to the most extreme way and make it sound like some silly, ludicrous caricature of what the Bible says. But what they cannot do is circumvent what God has said in his word, amen? And that communication in the presence of the husband, the wife, is to speak with a respectful spirit and tone. And really, it is to come from the inside out. Remember, it's inward before it's outward. Secondly, this respectful communication is to be found in the husband's absence. What do I mean by that? And what does Gogue say about that? It is this idea of always speaking honorably and respectfully of your husband. Never speaking contemptuously, never criticizing, never bad-mouthing, never running down your husband to anyone ever. That is not respectful speech. That is the opposite of it. I recall, just as a personal illustration, I don't think my wife will care if I share this. She shared the story. She was invited to have brunch with a Christian woman. And during their meal, the conversation took a very disturbing and disappointing turn. the Christian woman began speaking negatively and began speaking about how it is difficult sometimes to love your husband. And this was not in a context where she was seeking counsel to be helped and encouraged, but it was in a way to kind of incite criticism and complaint, almost as if it was a fishing expedition. Ladies, this is not how you are to speak about your husband. Amen? You are to speak about your husband with honor. You're not to be bad-mouthing your husband. You're not to be running them down. You're not to be getting with other ladies and saying, well, let me tell you how bad my husband is. That is the opposite of having reverence and respect as it relates to your husband. If there is some sort of actual issue that is there, then you need to seek pastoral counsel. First, go to your husband and seek to work that out with him. And then, if necessary, you don't go to the other ladies and listen to the nonsense that they will say. You go to your pastors and seek out pastoral counseling. But you don't try to whisper and give advice on subjects that relate to spiritual things. Whenever you are in your husband's presence, you are to speak respectfully to him. Whenever your husband is not present, you are never to criticize. You're never to badmouth your husband or speak negatively about him. That is a very violation of the very bond of marriage itself. So, talking about this idea of respect, we see here that the wife is called to submit to her husband and that this submission is this idea of reverence, this idea of respect outwardly coming from that inward reality. Let me continue a couple of things before we are finished. Let me share with you a wife's disrespect for her husband. What are the causes and what are some of the cures? You see, there are some wives who do show disrespect to their husbands, to a larger or greater or lesser degree. William Gouge says this, it commonly arises, this disrespect for the husband, it arises from three causes. Number one, It is a self-conceit by which wives esteem their own gifts too highly, thinking them so excellent as they need no guide or head, but are rather fit to guide and rule both their husbands and all the household of which proud and presumptuous spirit Jezebel seems to have been. who with an audacious and impudent face said to Ahab her husband, dost thou now govern the kingdom of Israel? Up, I will give thee the vineyard of Naboth." 1 Kings 21 and verse 7. Likewise were those wives which were noted to draw away their husband's hearts from the Lord as the wives of Solomon. 1 Kings 11 and verse 4. Jehoram. 2 Kings 8 and verse 18 and others. This they learned from their great-grandmother Eve, Genesis 3 and verse 6. So where does this disrespect come from? It comes from self-conceit. It comes from a spirit which says, well, I'm a little bit better than him, at least in this particular area, and therefore I have the right to criticize and show disrespect. This is rebellion to God. Secondly, he says, another cause of this disrespect is that there is some weakness of mind, body, or life which they see in their husbands. from which it comes to pass that many husbands, who are highly honored and greatly accounted of by others, are much despised by their wives, because their wives, always conversing with them, know the secret weaknesses that are concealed from others. In other words, what Gouge is saying here is, there may be some flaw, some weakness, some area of besetting sin in her husband. And she says, see, he's not perfect. And so therefore, I don't respect him. As if any man is, or as we'll say in a moment, any woman is as well. But this is how this kind of disrespect arises from. Self-conceit. an awareness of some failure or foible, and then number three, worst of all, from unjust assumptions and suspicions, suspecting many evil things of their husbands, of which they are no way guilty, and misrepresenting and perverting things well done. That is, she supposes something that isn't even true. But because she thinks it to be true, she disrespects and doesn't reverence her husband. So, as we conclude this morning, let me just share with you what are the cures for this And again, quoting from William Gouge for the sake of time, he says, quote, for curing this enormous vice, and that's a pretty interesting way to describe the sin of not showing reverence to your husband. Gouge calls this an enormous vice that the wife is guilty of. For the curing of this enormous vice, wives ought first to purge out their heart's pride and self-conceit, thinking humbly and lowly of themselves, even regarding the weakness of their sex. And if the Lord has endowed them with any gift above the ordinary sort of women, to note well their own infirmities, and to lay them by their imminent gifts. Thus, by looking on their black feet, their proud peacock feathers may be cast down. When they behold any weaknesses in their husbands, they ought also to reflect their eyes on their own weaknesses, which may be as many and as grievous. if not more in number and more heinous in their nature and kind, at least let them consider that they are subject to the same if God leave them to the influence of their own corruption. Secondly, he says, wives ought in regard to their husbands to assume no evil if they have not sure proof and evidence, but rather interpret everything in the best light, and follow the rule of love, which believeth all things." 1 Corinthians 13, 7. If they note any defects of nature and deformity of body or any enormous and notorious vices in their husband, then ought they to turn their eyes and thoughts from his person to his position. and from his bad qualities to his honorable office, which is to be her husband. And this will lessen that vile esteem which otherwise might be occasioned from these means." Basically, what Gogue says, the cure of this disrespect is there needs to be a soul humbling of all of that self-conceit from which this arises. There needs to be an estimation of the failures of the husband by looking at your own failures as well and realizing you're not a sinless saint. And then he says, if there is issues here where there is evidence of something that is seriously afoul, Well, then you are still to show that reverence and respect not to his person, but to that position that he is in because God has placed him over you. And yes, it is true. We live in a world where all notions of respect and reverence are almost obliterated in every sphere. And yet it is the will of God that in all her conduct, the wife show that respect, that phobia is the word, that word that speaks of an all and reverence shown to her husband. So, as we conclude this morning by way of application, let us remember, wives, that you are called to submit to your husband in everything. And that one aspect of that submitting, and really this is kind of the first step in many ways, is a true reverence of your husband. A deep, heartfelt respect. You say, you don't know my husband. And my reply to you is, that doesn't matter. Because even if he's a horrible person, he's been placed over you in his position. And because of that position, Your duty of reverence has not changed one iota. If there is sin, if there is a problem, you need to go to your pastors and deal with it because you need to be showing that reverence to your husband. Paragation, this is not merely the teaching of your pastor. This is not simply a short summary statement from the Puritans of another day, or Joel Beeke in our day, who might be thought of as a modern day Puritan. This is not only the teaching of all of Reformed Christianity through the centuries. It is all of that. It is. the will of Christ for our wives. Because what God has revealed in His Word is the Word of Christ to us. And our desire to obey Christ is to submit to everything He has said. My friend, if your heart rails against this, if you revile against this, that shows you your heart I've said this before, don't leave saying, well, I didn't like that, another sermon on submission. No, what you should be saying is, what does this show me about my heart if I have a problem with it? What does this reveal about my true spiritual condition? And you need to have earnest dealings with the Lord. Turn and trust in Jesus Christ and find in Christ and in submitting to him a glad desire to obey whatever he has said. Let's bow together in prayer. Our gracious Heavenly Father, we thank you again for your word. We thank you, O God, that when we turn to your word, we do not get opinions that are stylish or popular in a situation in our culture today, but that which is timeless and true for all eternity. Help us, Lord, that we would conform our lives to your will, that we would obey your word, And Lord, that those who do not know Christ, their Savior, that these teachings on submission would indeed be that revealer of their condition. Lord, we pray that you would draw sinners to yourself, that you, by your grace and mercy, would deliver sinners from their sin, and that you would receive all the honor and all the glory. We pray this all in Christ's holy name, amen, amen. Let's all stand together now as we prepare to be dismissed. Again, with the words of holy scripture, the Lord bless you and keep you. The Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious unto you. The Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace. And all of God's people said, amen, amen.