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divorce. And I think this is a deficiency. I think they should have touched on divorce as well as Sam Waldron points out that a definition of marriage isn't supplied. So this chapter could be strengthened a bit. And so we're going to talk a little bit about a definition of marriage especially for our day when there's such confusion about such topics. So we'll talk about a definition of marriage and also touch on divorce a little bit. So first a definition of marriage. Noah Webster defined marriage thus. He said, the act of uniting a man and a woman for life. Wedlock, the legal union of a man and woman for life. Marriage is a contract, both civil and religious, by which the parties engage to live together in mutual affection and fidelity till death shall separate them. Marriage was instituted by God himself for the purpose of preventing the promiscuous intercourse of the sexes for promoting domestic felicity and for securing the maintenance and education of children. This is no Webster's definition. Sam Waldron defines marriage as a public and formal sworn promise by a man and a woman to each other which brings them into a marriage, into a marriage union intended to provide them with a multidimensional life companionship. The main idea that we see in these definitions is that marriage is a legal and permanent union between one man and one woman. This idea comes from God himself as he observed in Genesis 2.18 that it is not good that man should be alone. His solution to this problem was the creation of the first woman who was provided to Adam from his own body and they were to live together as an independent family. as a family unit, as a unity of one flesh, the Bible describes it as. To be united in marriage is the making of one out of two. God first made two out of one and then joined them together again in this bond called marriage. We see in this both unity and diversity. God made woman diverse from Adam, something unique and separate, yet designed them to be joined again in a union of mutual companionship, mutual fellowship. Genesis 2, 21 through 25 says this, And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept. And he took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh instead thereof. And the rib which the Lord God had taken from man made he a woman and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh, she shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed." Adam described marriage as a leaving of father and mother, being joined to his wife, and becoming one flesh. This union, Jesus reminded the Jews, was not to be broken by man. And we know from other scripture that the dissolution of this union was to be only by God himself through death, till death do you part. Marriage, therefore, is deeply rooted in God's creational design, both in its definition and in its purpose. It is, as I talked about a few weeks ago concerning the Sabbath, creation ordinance. Marriage is a creation ordinance. It is basic to life on the earth. It is for all people to be respected and not to be polluted. Just as murder is an assault upon the image of God and is therefore a great evil, so is the defilement of marriage an assault upon God's design, whether it be through fornication, adultery, homosexuality, polygamy, divorce or any other thing that defiles the marriage. The prophet Malachi lets us see that God hates the violation of marriage. This is in Malachi 2, starting in verse 14. It says, The Lord hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously. Yet is she thy companion and the wife of thy covenant. And did he not make one? Yet had he the residue of the Spirit, and wherefore one, that he might seek a godly seed? Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. For the Lord, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away or divorce." So this is God's mind on the matter. There are a few definitional aspects of marriage from this passage in Malachi. First, notice that God himself is a witness to marriage and it speaks of marriage as a covenant. God is the witness or a witness and marriage is a covenant. It is therefore a covenant union between a man and a woman made in the presence of God. Think about that. This implies an oath being made upon the legal enactment of the marriage covenant since God is witness. This passage also touches on two of the main purposes of marriage, which is companionship and the raising up of a godly seed. Furthermore, this passage informs us that God hates divorce. So before we move on, I want to say a few things about divorce. As it was in Jesus' day, divorce is very common in our day. Whereas at the beginning of the 20th century in the United States, divorce was rare, very rare. 122 years later, we see that nearly half of marriages end in divorce. It's not that the people back in 1900 were less sinful than people today, but it is a reflection of our departure as a culture from biblical ideas of morality that have become reflected in our laws. In 1969, California was the first state to enact a no-fault divorce law, which all of the other states quickly followed suit and enacted similar laws. This allowed couples to divorce without just cause and has contributed to the breakdown of marriage itself. In fact, Ronald Reagan signed that into law, which he later regretted. When Jesus was asked by the Pharisees If it is lawful to divorce for any cause, Jesus reverted back to the creation ordinance itself as the model for this permanent marriage. He said, what God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. Sinful men are prone to look for ways to get out of difficult marriages rather than remain in an unfulfilling relationship. And if you read the book of Proverbs, you'll see that there are unfulfilling marriages. So Jesus' basic answer to their question was no, it is not lawful to divorce for any cause. He then gives an exception for fornication which includes certain sexual crimes which basically entail adultery though the word used there is broader than adultery. The Apostle Paul in his letter to the Corinthians also gives allowance to a believer when their unbelieving spouse abandons them. These are the two exceptions that we see in the Westminster Confession as lawful reasons for divorce. There's often an innocent party who is grievously sinned against in these ways for which there is an allowance for divorce. But even in these cases, divorce is not commanded. It is allowed, provided that the ruling authorities grant the divorce. So divorce is not commanded in scripture. There are a couple of allowances. But we live in a society that allows divorce for no real reason at all. And as a result of this, divorce is rampant. So how do we deal with this reality? How do we deal with this personally if we have sinned by violating God's ideal for marriage? We live in the 21st century. There's many of us who've been divorced. Now the first thing to do as an individual who finds yourself as one who has violated God's commandment, particularly God's commandment on divorce, is to get on God's side. This is the essence of repentance. We acknowledge our wrong and agree with God as to the evil of our sin and to the punishment that it entails, which ultimately, that punishment is hell. True repentance does not try to justify the wrong, but rather it acknowledges personal guilt. It is a true change of mind and heart that regrets the evil and seeks to amend our ways with true humility. This is repentance. This is what is required when we find ourselves in sin. But the nature of divorce often does not allow opportunity to amend the wrong. Often there's no recourse. There's nothing that can be done to set things right. The damage has been done and it's permanent. To seek to go back and undo the wrong would require more sin, more damage, more broken relationships. And this is not the solution. The solution isn't to undo the marriage right now to seek to go back to the previous marriage. There is no solution in that way. This creates more problems. The real solution is simply the grace and the mercy of God. It's the gospel. God is able not only to forgive, but also to cause our sin and failure to redound to his glory and our good. Are you in a marriage that began in sin? Don't live in denial. Acknowledge this to God. And I'm sure that those here that are divorced have acknowledged that to God. And then let God redeem the situation that you're in. Ask for and receive his forgiveness. Get up from your knees and endeavor to love your current spouse in the ways that you have failed or may have failed in the past. I think it's important to consider that Paul comforted the Corinthians with the gospel after listing many heinous sins that they once partook in, such as fornication, adultery, and homosexuality. All of those things belong to their former life and now they had been washed clean. He said, know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived, neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners shall inherit the kingdom of God. This is the law. It condemns. This is what we deserve. If we abide in sin, this is what we will get. We will not inherit the kingdom of God. But then he says, and such were some of you, but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the spirit of our God. So as believers in Christ, we are no longer tied to the filth of our former sins, but we're forgiven. We are washed, sanctified, justified. We can leave the former life of sin and live our current life to the glory of God because of Christ's blood and righteousness. We can be free from the bondage of former sins. If we were a homosexual, we can be free from that. If we've divorced, we can be free from that, both its guilt and power. We don't have to continue living in sin and we can live clean, justified. Now, this doesn't mean that there aren't negative consequences to our former sins. There are often deep and abiding wounds that follow us on account of our unfaithfulness, our former unfaithfulness. Nevertheless, God is able to use even this, even the consequences of our former sins for our good. He builds in us humility, grace, patience, perseverance, and a deep and abiding reliance upon Christ. These are all things that God builds in us through the consequences of our sins and it can be used ultimately for our good. Let's turn our attention now to paragraph one of chapter 25 and consider the rule of monogamy. of having one spouse. It says, marriage is to be between one man and one woman. Neither is it lawful for any man to have more than one wife, nor for any woman to have more than one husband at the same time. Now to us, this seems like a no-brainer. Of course, polygamy is wrong. But if we spend any time reading the Old Testament, a question may come to our mind as we read, which is this, if it is a sin to have more than one wife at the same time, Why did some of the patriarchs have more than one wife? And why is there a provision in the Mosaic civil law which makes allowance for polygamy? I want to ask another question. Who did the sons of Adam and Eve marry? There's only one correct answer. There's only one possible answer. They married their sisters at first. And considering that their fertility in the pre-flood world lasted for hundreds of years, The later sons and daughters could have married more distant relatives but initially there was no other choice, they had to marry their sisters. As we will see in our fourth paragraph in a moment that marriage between close relatives became unlawful by the time of Moses, yet it was tolerated until then. One example of this is that Abraham married his half-sister. The point being that for a time necessity demanded And then later, these kinds of marriages were tolerated until God forbade it. Now, polygamy is not a necessity, yet it was tolerated and even regulated in the Mosaic law. We believe in something, though, called progressive revelation. In the Garden of Eden, God promised one who would crush the serpent's head, but it wasn't for several thousand years until God revealed Christ in all of his glory, he was being progressively revealed through scripture. There is a progression of light given so that something that may have been acceptable under less light carries with it more responsibility with more revelation of truth. Under the Old Testament, the worshiper trusted that atonement could be had through the substitutionary sacrifice of a lamb. But with the progress of revelation, this is not sufficient as now faith must be put in Christ Jesus himself who fulfilled the types of Old Testament worship. You see that, the progress of revelation. So the answer as to why polygamy is sinful now yet tolerated then has to do with progressive revelation. God's will for marriage is clearer now than it was then. God instructed Christian elders and deacons to be the husbands of one wife as an example to all the flock of God as to his will for marriage. We know that there were provisions in the law regulating things that were a result of their hard heartedness. Jesus said as much when he referenced the provision for divorce in Deuteronomy chapter 24 which some of the Jews were leveraging. to justify divorce for any cause. He said, Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, suffered you to put away your wives. But from the beginning, it was not so. What this means for us is that we have to be careful in the way that we apply the civil code to our own situations. The regulation of polygamy in the law is in no way an endorsement of it. Just as the practice of polygamy among many of the patriarchs is not an endorsement of polygamy. The prohibition for polygamy rests in the force of God's design. And just as Jesus pointed to the creation ordinance of marriage for prohibiting divorce for frivolous cause, we must also look at the creation ordinance concerning monogamy. In Jesus' quote of this creational ordinance in Genesis 224, he supplies What is implied in Adam's statement when he says, for this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall cleave to his wife and they too shall be one flesh. God's design for marriage is exclusivity. Only two shall be one flesh. Try bringing in a second wife and I promise you there will not be one flesh. There will be strife and division. Just look at all the examples of polygamy in scripture. It's disastrous. We have Sarah and Hagar, Rachel and Leah, Hannah and Penina. These were terrible marriages, terrible relationships. There's not a single positive example of polygamy in scripture. And thank God that it's illegal in our nation. Let's move on. Paragraph two touches on the three main purposes of marriage. It says, marriage was ordained for the mutual help of husband and wife, for the increase of mankind with a legitimate issue and the preventing of uncleanness. I touched on this a little in the definition of marriage, but I think it's important that we keep this order or hierarchy of reasons for marriage intact. Some religious traditions place childbearing as the only legitimate purpose for marriage. The Roman Catholic Church is one of those traditions. But before God made woman, the dilemma that he referenced was that Adam was alone. Companionship, relationship is the primary purpose of marriage and the bearing of children is secondary and an outflow of that relationship. This is not to devalue childbearing as our culture does today. It is simply to get the order of importance right. The marriage has meaning apart from childbearing. If not, then there would be no legitimate reason for a couple who were beyond childbearing years to get married if companionship were not the principal reason. Childbearing is the second purpose in marriage and unless there is a righteous compelling reason to not have children then married couples should have children. This is very important to God and should not be neglected. He commanded Adam and Eve to be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and to subdue it. Of course this wasn't just for them alone but is a duty for all of mankind. In fact he repeated this to Noah and his family. Some people think that it's wrong, though, to plan how many children to have and think that more is always better. This has been a prevalent view among some groups. More is always better. Have as many as you possibly can. But as with everything else in our lives, we have a responsibility to wisely steward and manage what we have been given or potentially what we will have. We all have limitations and capacities, and to push beyond what is reasonable is not wise or safe. It is possible to have too much of a good thing, especially where it becomes impossible to properly manage it. You see, it's not just bringing children into the world that's important, but it's providing for, teaching, disciplining, protecting, and everything else involved in child rearing. One couple may be able to provide and properly care for one or two children, and another couple may be able to care for 10. This is a matter of wisdom, and it's not a command. The number of children is not commanded in scripture. That is an area of wisdom. In addition to companionship and having children, the third purpose of marriage is to prevent uncleanness. Paul admonished the Corinthians, nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. He went on and said that it can be a benefit to the kingdom of God to be single so that the work of the Lord can be attended to without distraction, but that this is actually a gift, the gift of celibacy. Those who find themselves with strong desire should seek marriage, and this is, in fact, the majority of people. Since most people do not have the gift of celibacy, marriage is given by God as the antidote, or as one of the antidotes, to avoiding sexual sin. This is not to excuse fornication as some foregone conclusion for those who aren't married and don't have the gift of celibacy, that's not what I'm saying. Far from it. Fornication will damn you to hell forever, as we've already read. Flee from it. Cut out your eyes if need be. Do what is necessary to keep yourself. Remember, God gives more grace. We aren't mere animals who have no control. We are Christians who are indwelt by the very Spirit of God. Nevertheless, marriage is one of the ways that God helps us to avoid sexual impurity, and this is a third purpose for marriage that is mentioned in Scripture. And very quickly, the last two paragraphs deal with those who may lawfully marry. Let's read. It is lawful for all sorts of people to marry, who are able with judgment to give their consent. Yet it is the duty of Christians to marry in the Lord. And therefore, such as profess the true religion should not marry with infidels or idolaters. Neither should such as are godly be unequally yoked by marrying with such as are wicked in their life or maintain damnable heresy." Paragraph four, marriage ought not to be within the degrees of consanguinity, that's close blood relationships. or affinity, those are relationships by marriage, forbidden in the word, nor can such incestuous marriages ever be made lawful by any law of man or consent of parties, so as those persons may live together as man and wife. So it's forbidding what scripture forbids about incestuous relationships. Not only blood relationships, but relationships by marriage. Paragraph three teaches us that people from so-called different races, or ethnicities, nationalities, or classes should not be prohibited from marriage or to marry each other. The next phrase, who are able with judgment to give their consent prohibits children from marriage as they are not yet able with proper judgment to give consent. So people are free to marry people from any nation, tribe, kindred, or tongue. Children should not marry. This would also include those who are mentally incapacitated and unable to have proper judgment. Governments typically have an age threshold for marriage reflecting this principle. And it's a good thing that we do. Praise God for that. We also see that marriage is for all people regardless of whether they profess true Christianity or not. The prohibition is for Christians who are only allowed to marry believers. and should not marry any person who by their profession or by heresy or by ungodly living demonstrate that they are outside of the faith. Paragraph four affirms the scriptural commands not to marry, actually that was paragraph three, not to marry close kin either by blood or by marriage even if the laws of your country allow it. So we're obligated to scripture, to God's word, even if the laws of our land vary from that. But there's a lot more that we can say, but I'm over time, so I'll turn it back to whoever's gonna be doing the prayers. Amen.
1689 Class #33 Ch. 25 Par. 1-4
Series 1689 Bapist Confession Class
Sermon ID | 62622153273624 |
Duration | 27:11 |
Date | |
Category | Teaching |
Language | English |
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