Ephesians chapter number 5. There was an elderly man at home who was in the process of dying. He, however, laying there in his bed smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies baking. He wanted one last cookie before he passed on. So he fell out of bed, crawled to the landing, rolled down the stairs, and crawled into the kitchen where his wife was busily baking cookies. With waning strength, he crawled to the table and was just barely able to lift his arm to the cookie sheet. As he grasped the warm, moist chocolate chip cookie, his favorite kind, his wife suddenly whacked his hand with a spatula. Why, he whispered, why did you do that? I wish she replied back, they're for the funeral. Oh, ouch, huh? With a wife like that, who needs enemies, eh, man? You've got to love married life. especially that long, the things you can get away with, right? Well, regardless of how long we've been married or whatnot, in all seriousness, I'd like to continue our study of married life tonight as we're going to switch gears from last time and speak about the wife's responsibilities in the marriage, in the home. Though not, of course, politically correct in our day, they are still God's ways. And as the Creator, of course, He understands how things are supposed to work. Remember, God is far wiser than any of us. And the reason why He lays these things out for both the husband and the wife to take responsibility in is so that their marriage can be what God intended it to be. Here in chapter 5 of Ephesians, verse 18, it's been our text here recently. It says, And be not drunk with wine wherein is excess, but be filled with the Spirit, speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, making an singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord, giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and he is the Savior of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, Love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it, that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church. For we are members of his body, of his flesh and of his bones. But this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they too shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife, even as himself, and the wife see that she reverence her husband." Oops, I don't have my PowerPoint up there yet. We'll get there, I think. Well, I'll get it up here in just a moment. But what we're going to be talking about or continuing on is married life. This is part number five, and we'll be talking about the wife's responsibilities. Let's pray. Father, we thank you for this morning or this evening, I should say, and the truths that we will look at tonight. And we thank you for the truths that we've been studying throughout this series that will help us as God's people to serve you and in the roles that you put us in and in the phases of life to be used of you in a greater capacity. Lord, we love you tonight. We want to honor you with everything we say and do. In Jesus' name, Amen. Here we go. Can I get this up and running here? Hopefully that's up there. Boom. Right there. Techno-savvy, right? All right. Well, last week we began our focus, of course, on the God-given responsibilities handed to both spouses to practice within a marriage. Everybody wants to know, how do you make marriage work? Well, the author of marriage, God himself, has given an instruction manual on how it's supposed to work. And really, the things aren't necessarily that overcomplicated. A lot of it's just that our sin nature likes to resist it. We don't like these things because a lot of the things God asks us to do to be successful in any area of life really, really goes against what the flesh, what the sinful nature of our being really wants. I mean, we put some resistance up because, again, the flesh loathes to do what God says to do. It just doesn't want to because our sin nature is the antithesis to God's holiness. Now, God, again, the original architect of the home, has given specific responsibilities to each spouse that enables that couple to grow in oneness and enables them to have a joyful marriage and enable them as well to fulfill God's plan. that he has for that couple and of course the family that would ensue from that. As we've seen and will continue to see, these responsibilities are acts of selfless love in some regards. It does require a death to self. It requires us not to be thinking of ourselves as much as we are thinking about what God wants. and how we can be a blessing to the other. So many people get into marriage with the idea of the person blessing them and being kind to them and doing everything right for them. But guess what? If you get married and you're in marriage for any length of time, you begin to realize that that person won't be able to do that 100% of the time. And they will not be able to meet all your needs all the time. And for some people that becomes a sudden hit across their mind. In other words, they think, well, this isn't what I expected. This isn't what I signed up for. And they begin to back out of the marriage, and they begin to have problems because they, of course, approach their marriage with a self mentality. Again, God's responsibilities are acts of selflessness, meant to foster care, concern, and commitment between the two spouses. And I believe each spouse must seek to fulfill these responsibilities And you're going to need God's help to do that. You're going to need God's help to do that. That's why I read verse 18. Be not drunk with wine, wherein is Exodus, but be filled with the Spirit. To be filled with the Spirit means to be controlled by the Holy Ghost of God. That He would control our attitudes and our actions and all that kind of stuff. And to fulfill what we're talking about here, you need to be a Spirit-filled person. In other words, you need to keep your life right with God. You need to have time every day where you're getting empowered by God. It's going to take the grace of God to fulfill these responsibilities. There's no doubt about it. You can't do it in your flesh, because your flesh knows to do this. But empowered by God's grace, they can be done. Remember, Paul wrote in Philippians 4, I can do all things, what? Through Christ, which strengtheneth me. God is there to give you the empowerment, the grace that you need to fulfill the responsibilities. And that's why we've talked about, already in the past, about having that relationship with God and being in a right frame, in a right standing with the Lord and seeking Him daily and all that kind of stuff. Because if you throw that aside, guess what? You can't practice what God has in His Word regarding these responsibilities, much less any other part of the Christian life. It just doesn't work. You can't fulfill God's will without God's power. And again, it's very evident when it comes to the marriage, to the home. Again, I believe each spouse must seek to fulfill these responsibilities with God's help if they hope to experience God's best within their married life. No spouse will ever be perfect, though, either. Every spouse will fail the other. But hopefully, through God's grace, each will grow in maturity as they don't reject or push away their responsibilities, but they embrace their responsibilities as something that God has given them to do, and something that they do to the utmost. If there should be any motive, it's to please the Lord. And the ramifications of each spouse's obedience to God's directives will bring the joy, the blessing that God intended for the family to experience. You know, families are supposed to be a place that were meant to be a little heaven on earth. That's really what it's meant to be. A little heaven on earth. It's not meant to be a war zone. It's not meant to be two people going back and forth battling it out. It's not meant for one spouse to manipulate and take advantage of the other spouse. It's not meant to be that way. Not at all. God meant the home, believe it or not for some, to be a place of a little heaven on earth. But it's going to take a commitment to the responsibilities that God lays out. And when we commit to the responsibilities, we are sowing good seed, which is going to reap positive things over the course of time. And the longer the spouses embrace those responsibilities, just the better the marriage will be. It will grow into what God intended it to be. It will be a little heaven. on earth. Now last week we kicked things off, of course, considering the husband's responsibility to his wife. The Bible talks about the husband being, of course, the head of the home. It mentions that in here. So we wanted to start with the head, the man in charge, if you will. And there are some responsibilities that the man has to his wife and, of course, to the rest of the family. But particularly we're focusing on the wife. We saw within our passage that the man is called to love his wife. in the same manner that Jesus loved the church. Look at verse 25. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it. Verse 28. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. Again, the word loved here used in the passage is the Greek word agape, which is the kind of love expressed through selfless self-love. sacrificing acts. That's what we're talking about here. It's to look out for that spouse, even at the cost of self. in some regards. It might mean giving up some time doing some things that he would normally like to do to spend time with his wife and his family. It might be sacrificing some finances to be a blessing to the wife. It might be sacrificing time to go and do an extra job just to help pay for the bill so it doesn't burden the wife. Or even help pick up around the house. Or God help us change a diaper when need be. It's not unspiritual to change diapers. I remember somebody years ago, I've never changed a diaper. I hope that changed. I hope that changed, because that's not right. Let me tell you something. I cleaned out pig barns when I was a kid. I can handle a diaper. Amen? Nothing manly about not changing a diaper, OK? I'm hitting on somebody here. I just felt the Holy Spirit leading me on that one. I don't know. But you get my point, right? The husband is called to do what it takes to secure his wife's spiritual, emotional, and physical well-being. The Bible says in 1 Timothy 5, verse 8, Now, again, we tend to think of this in the financial terms, but really it's all of them. Providing. You know, taking the lead when it comes to the spiritual things. And that's where a lot of men in our day have just completely dropped off the map. You know, mom can be in church, but dad's nowhere. I thank God that's not necessarily the case here. But, you know, in this world, I remember talking to some different pastors, and they say usually when they're advertising, they're trying to target the wife. Why? Because she tends to take the lead in that. That's not the way it's supposed to be. By the way, a man who is taking the lead spiritually has a better chance of seeing their kids turn out than one that doesn't. And that's statistically proven. But providing spiritually and providing emotionally and, of course, physically as well. And this is regardless of the cost. Even if it comes down to his own life. Husbands love your wives. When you get married to this woman, you have committed to taking care of her regardless of the cost. Regardless of the cost. God also gave the husband the commission, of course, to lead. In verses 22 and 23 it mentions the husband is the head of the home. And this authority that God gives the husband was never meant to be abused for the man's selfish pleasures. That's not what authority is meant to be used for. Now, many authorities across the scope of where authorities, whether you're talking government, church, home, even business, whatever, you know what, there are people that have abused that, and we know some of those probably, and we've experienced some of that. But authority itself was never meant to be abused for the purpose of stoking the pleasures of those that are in charge. It was given so that In this case, the husband might be the servant leader his wife needs so that she and, of course, the family is cared for. See, leadership is far more about taking responsibility for those under our care than exploiting it for personal benefit. That's really what leadership is all about, is taking the responsibility, taking the burden, if you will, to make sure that those underneath our authority, We are commissioned to look out for, and that, gentlemen, for you is your wife and, of course, any children that are in the home, and to take care of them and make sure that their needs, again, are met and that you are there to serve them more than anything else. Now, it comes with certain avenues of respect, and we're going to be talking a little bit more about that here in just a moment. But remember, you know, again, this is something that is very very big when it comes to leadership. Leadership is far more about taking responsibility than exploiting it for personal benefit. We saw also that the man was called, of course, to leave. Verse 31, for this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall be joined unto his wife and they too shall be one flesh. Again, marriage is a cause. It's a good cause. It is the cause that you get into, in many cases, to raise the next generation. and whatever it is that God would call you and your spouse to do. But what we see with this is that the wife is to be the top priority in the life of that man. He is to leave father and mother. They were the priorities before, but now he puts his priority on his wife. And his wife takes priority over the parents. In fact, it takes priority over the children. It takes priority over a lot of things. Now some of those other things have a place. Yes. But if push comes to shove, decisions have to be made, the priority goes to the spouse. And that's the way God intends it to be. Well, tonight we're going to look into this passage and see what God says about the wife's responsibilities. That according to God, she needs to embrace wholeheartedly just as much as her husband needs to embrace what he's supposed to do. First off, we see what I call the consenting cohort. Verse 22, Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and he is the Savior of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Now this verse, or this series of verses right here, probably raised more air in people today than anything else. You can just hear the bristling sometimes when these are read at marriages, especially when you have lost people with very unbiblical viewpoints. But it's not meant to cause an error by any means. I remember years ago when I was in college, I had a professor that I got along with really well, but I had gotten saved and I would occasionally incorporate Bible passages and whatnot into some of the papers I had. And we had a conversation one time and she made just an off shoot comment about Paul being a sexist and all this. You know, Paul was because of some of the things that are written. But you know what? Paul was not the only one that mentions this type of passage or doesn't mention this kind of admonition to the wife. In fact, God mentioned it to begin with. all the way back in the book of Genesis, chapter 3, shortly after the fall of man. Look at Genesis 3, verse 16. Again, when God was dishing out what was to take place now that sin had entered into the world, God talks unto the woman. He said, I will greatly and multiply thy sorrow and thy conception. In sorrow thou shalt bring forth children. And if anybody has ever experienced childbirth, you know the pain that there is. when it comes to giving children. It is not an easy process by any means. And thy desire shall be to thy husband. And notice what he says, that he shall rule over thee. So God mentions this to begin with. In other words, that God was setting up an authority structure. And he tells Eve, look, he's going to be the head here. And you're going to follow under his lead. You go to Colossians chapter 3. Again, this was written by Paul. It says, wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as it is fit in the Lord. Titus 2.5, it mentions to be discreet, chaste keepers at home, good, obedient to their husbands. Again, speaking of the submission, that the word of God be not blasphemed. I mean, again, very strong language used. Go to 1 Peter chapter number three. There's again, some more mention of this. I just want to point this out. This is not just one singular passage. There are multiple passages that deal with this subject matter. It says here in chapter 3 in verse 1, it says, Likewise ye wise, be in subjection to your own husbands, that if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives. While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear, whose adorning, let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on apparel, but let it be the hidden man of the heart, and that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time, the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves being in subjection unto their own husbands." So we see here multiple passages that bring this subject up of what God has given as a responsibility to the wife. Now, the people who tend to get up in arms about this don't really understand either what the word submission is referring to. It's not God being sexist, which is a common word thrown around, or against women, or God just looks down on women. Hardly at all. There's some great women in the Bible. Sarah was one of them. Esther, Hannah, Mary Magdalene, Marry the mother of Christ. I mean, there was a gal named Abigail, she's mentioned. Deborah was a judge. I don't think Eve was all that bad either. You know, there are lots of great women in the Bible. So God's not against it. In fact, God probably took more care creating Eve than he did Adam. So there's nothing against that by any means. There's much said about how God expects the man to behave, and we studied that, and that's why we studied it first. That's not easy to do. You know, to give your own self up as much as God is requiring of the man, that's not easy to do, nor is what God is asking here of the lady. It's not. Both of them are challenging, and that's why I said to begin with, you need the grace of God to do this stuff. It's not easy. What God is asking a lady to do is to support her husband's leadership in the home, is what it comes down to, is to support it. Now that doesn't make the lady inferior. In fact, I know some very, very intelligent ladies. I think of Brother Beckham's wife, Jeanette. We've known her here for some time now. And Brother Beckham's always bragging how smart she is. He's always telling me, she went to Pepperdine University and she's got this and this and this. She's been just a tremendous blessing to him, I know, in helping organize his ministry and stuff like that. She is a sharp, sharp lady. But that doesn't negate her calling any more than any other ladies in the marriage. It's nothing to do with inferiority. It's just part of God's order. There has to be order in everything that there is. Most of us here, we have jobs where there's an order. You know, you have the boss, the vice presidents, or the CEOs or whoever, and it goes down through the management system. We call it a chain of command. If you've ever been in the military, you're familiar with the chain of command. It starts with the president and then it goes down the line all the way down to the commanding officer over your squad or your battery or company or whatever it is that you have. But there's a chain of command. Why? It's not that anybody has any inferiority. It's just that you have to have order so that things get done and accomplished and decisions can be made and so forth. And that's what God's looking for. God has a reason for this and God has chosen in his sovereignty to place the husband as the head and the wife under his leadership. And that's the way God did it. And that's fine. I find that people who have a problem with that also tend to have problems with a lot of other parts of the scripture, you know, too. So it's ultimately really not a problem. It really comes down to a problem with God. But God desires order in everything. He has that authority chain, and that's the way He established it in the home. Now, God knows the husband won't always be right, and that the husband will make mistakes and so forth. But if a lady, by faith, can trust God to make things work out, even in her husband's mistakes, then she's in good position, because she's obeying God, even if her husband may not be, per se, or has made a mistake, if you will. God wants the wife to see it as consenting as unto the Lord. That's what it mentions in the passage. It mentions here, Let's see, where is it? Verse 23, the husband has had the wife, even as Christ has the head of the church, and he is the Savior of the body. Oh, verse 22, I'm sorry. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husband as unto the Lord. No, that doesn't mean your husband's God. But as we would submit to God, that's what God is asking the lady to do. That is her responsibility. And that God honors the obedience to him as he instructs towards our I should say, that he honors your obedience to him to do as he instructs, just like God honors the husband when he does what he's instructed to do. And I believe a wise husband will take into consideration his wife's counsel and those decisions that he makes that need to be made. I think when two are working together and one's not trying to belittle the other, and we'll get to that in just a moment, When both are trying to work together, it's very wise that the husband will listen to his wife. I mean, that's a very important thing, I think, when you're trying to make a decision. Because women do have some incredible insight into situations that men often miss. We often miss some things that women pick up on that, you know, you never would get. I remember talking to Dr. S. M. Davis, and we've had him here a number of times talking about the home. And, you know, again, he brags on his wife, too. He's like, you know, she has given me such tremendous insight on some things that I never would have saw. And she has been used in that capacity. I think of my wife. I appreciate her very much. I've told her many times. I do consent. I do get her counsel on some things. I do ask her for insight. And she's given me some good insight. In fact, it's kept me out of some trouble sometimes. And that is a helpful thing. I believe a lady who can come to her husband with a sweet spirit, key thing, has tremendous influence over her husband and will give him some insight. But God does expect a lady to give the final say to him and support his decision even when there's disagreement. Well, what if he's wrong? Then God wants you to let him learn. That's all. See, it's not your place any more than it's your husband's place to change each other. He may be wrong. He may be right. Guess what? Then he'll learn next time to listen. Now, he won't listen if you come to him with a very bad attitude and saying nasty things to him. and to other people about him. And you're setting yourself up for a major dysfunctional marriage when you're that way. God, that's the submission portion of it though. God expects, you can give input, and I think that's wise for the husband to seek it, or a lady to come up and say, you know, honey, have you ever considered this or this or that? You know, that's not a bad thing. But God does expect the laity to give the final say to him, support his decision, even when there's disagreement. There's only one exception to this. And it's really true of any authority figure you're talking about. And it's this. The exception is if her husband wants her to directly violate the Word of God. Then she is not obligated. Just like any authority figure. Acts 5.29. Peter said, and the others answered and said, we ought to obey God rather than men. That's where the exception is. Again, any authority figure, but we're talking here in the situation with the husband and the wife. If it comes to that, and even if it were come to do that, when you approach any authority, it's best to do it with a kind and sweet spirit, not being argumentative or difficult, but doing it with a sweet spirit that will maybe even cause the authority to rethink a little bit what they're doing. I think a great example of this is actually Daniel. Remember Daniel in Chapter 1 of the Book of Daniel? He didn't want to violate his conscience by eating of the king's meat. So he went to the authority that was over him and expressed his concern and what he wanted to do and offered him another solution. He did it with a great spirit. And you know what, the authority consented and gave him the opportunity. And he proved his point. You know, the Bible says that Daniel had an excellent spirit. Sometimes the biggest trouble that happens with approaching authorities of any type is just the spirit in which it is brought forward to that authority. And that's true with a wife. If you have a good spirit, you're going to have a lot of influence. If it's a bad argument, blaming spirit and all that kind of stuff, it's just not going to fly very well. And really it's in violation of what the scriptures have to say here. So we see the consenting cohort. Secondly, we see the commending confidant. Verse 33, nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself, and the wife see that she reverence her husband. What is being spoken of here is something we might just simply call respect. Respect. When a lady reverences her husband, she is showing him tremendous respect as her leader. By the way, she chose to marry this man, okay? Her companion. Some people's like, you married the bozo, you know? No, as her companion and her protector. Now, respect goes both ways in the marriage. I understand that. The Bible mentions in 1 Peter 3, verse 7, likewise ye husbands dwell with him according to knowledge, giving honor, we might use the word respect, unto the wife. It goes both ways, obviously. But just as much as a lady needs the security of her husband's love, her husband needs her reverence. Her husband needs her reverence. Think about it, ladies. You desire the security of your husband's love. You want to know that you're the only one. Well, guess what? As much as that is passionately within your heart, This is what is passionately needed in his. A man desires to feel respected, particularly from the woman he chose to marry. When disrespect for his position as a husband occurs on a frequent basis, it undermines his desire to be what God commands him to be. Reverence will motivate a husband, though, to please his wife. In the heart of a man, there is a natural desire, I believe, to make his wife happy. You know, I believe that is the desire of the average man. He wants to make his wife happy. He wants to please her. He wants to be the one that she reveres above all other men, just as much as the lady wants him to be a one-woman man, right? Again, if both sides can understand how much they desire each of these things, they'll begin to understand, oh, that's why this is so important. Yeah. Remember, God created men and women differently. They think differently. They react a little bit differently to certain things. But if we can understand from God's perspective the responsibilities He hands to each side, we can kind of lessen the conflict that tends to flare up. But reverence will motivate a husband to please his wife. because reverence will build, lift, encourage, and strengthen her husband to tackle any task that needed to be done, especially the tough ones. Nothing brings a man's confidence up than knowing that his wife believes in him and she shows that with the words that she uses. If a wife continually uses put-downs, embarrasses him in front of children and other people, talks about him badly behind his back, if she blames him constantly for the failures of the family, guess what? You've just chopped down your marriage. Why? Because the Bible says that. Every wise woman buildeth her house. Guess what? Reverence builds. Criticism is like the foolish woman who plucketh it down with her hands. There have been women that have done this. Just as much as there have been men that have been jerks that have done bad things, guess what? It tends to go both ways. It tends to go both ways. And we don't want to be the foolish that plucks it down with our hands. And saying things and doing things that shames your husband, you're only hurting your own self. Build your husband. Don't pull him down. Build him with what you say. Be his cheerleader. Be his cheerleader. I guarantee you that a man who is cheered on by the woman he loves will run through a brick wall for her, even if it's just simply to impress her. I'll guarantee it. Look at, honey, I can put under that brick wall. Yeah, you go do it, big boy. You know, he will do it. I'll guarantee you. So I wouldn't do it. Polona, you wouldn't. I'm telling you something, there's there's a real power here. There is no power in criticism and nasty words any more than there's power when he does it to you. But we're not talking about him tonight, we're talking about the wife. I guarantee you that a man who is cheered on by the woman he loves, he chose to marry, will run through a brick wall for her. He'll do anything for her. See, God gave men this thing that's called an ego. And sometimes that term gets a negative connotation. You know, that guy, he's just got a bad ego. And some people, their ego is a little too inflated. I get it. But God gave that man an ego because it was there to be the driver, to motivate him to do what was necessary, to conquer anything that was necessary for the well-being of those under his care. That's why it's there. When a man's ego is destroyed, he's not going to be doing those things. He'll quit. He'll give up. He'll say, forget it. Can't please her anyways. That is there. It's there to drive them. It's the drive a man has, and that reverence his wife gives him will properly stoke that ego. And a godly lady will use that to encourage him to do right, even when it's hard to do. I'll guarantee you, if there's something a man's looking at as a challenge, but he's got his wife backing him and says, you know what, you can do it, honey. I believe in you, I know you, and so forth, I'll guarantee you he'll tackle that thing. He will go and conquer it. And that's what makes him the provider and the protector that he's meant to be. Again, reverence just helps that to go forward. But if a lady insists on stopping on that ego with continual bouts of disrespect through her words, through her attitude, and through her actions, what she'll get is what she doesn't want. One of two things. A passive husband that will shirk every responsibility he has towards her or worse, a husband that absolutely despises her and will want nothing to do with her. That's what will happen. Wives, you're called to be a commending confidant. To commend, to reverence. I guarantee you, you'll have a husband that will do anything for you. If that's the mentality that you take on. You really will. That's the responsibility he calls. Well, thirdly, And finally, we see the close companion. Now, complementing my second point here, I just want to expand it a little bit more from a different angle. I want to take it out of a different passage here in Titus chapter 2, verse 4. It says that they may teach the young women to be sober. Notice it says, to love their husbands, to love their children. Now, it uses the phrase, love their husbands. It's actually in the Greek. Those three words are actually one word. It's a combination of a couple. But the love aspect, here is not the word agape. You realize that? It's not agape. It's phyllos. It's actually translated in other spots of the Bible as the word friend. Friend. Friend. It speaks of being friendly or fond. In other words, a close companion or a friend to your husband. See, your husband doesn't need a competitor. And there's some families where it's a competition on every aspect that one spouse is trying to beat the other. How foolish. You know, we ought to be supporting one another. And if our wife or our husband is better at something, then that's fine. We should be secure enough to be okay with that. But in some cases, it's the competitor. In some homes, it's even how much each of them make and how much I know about this versus what you don't know and all these things. And that's just wrong. The husband doesn't need a critic. If you were to count, and maybe this wouldn't hurt for us, both sides, how many words of encouragement do we give versus the words of criticism that we give? I think some of us would be kind of like, oh, I didn't realize it did so much. But let me tell you something. He doesn't need a critic. Always second guessing him and always undermining him and rubbing failures in his face. Of course, he doesn't need to be nagged. Constantly corrected. What he needs is your committed friendship to him. Now, it's not to say agape love isn't welcomed, but it's nice to know that when he comes home at night, after battling out in the world, he's greeted by his best friend, who's devoted her life to being the woman God wants her to be. A friend. Isn't it nice to have a friend? You know, in the world, you can have a lot of enemies. You really can. And you don't even have to ask for them. They just kind of come into your life at times. But to go home and know that my best friend's waiting. By the way, married people are supposed to be best friends. Best friends. Yeah. That's what God has called you to do here. Love their husbands. Be his Best friend. Are these things easy to practice? No. Are they easy to put in place? No. Again, it takes the grace of God. Just as much as it takes the grace of God for the husband to practice the things that he is called to do. But with God's grace, when both parties dedicate themselves to practicing and growing as spouses, and when they fail, just say, you know what? I messed up and I'm very sorry. You know, a lot of our conflicts would kind of melt away if one or both people would just humble themselves instead of demand to be right and demand to always have their way. You know, things would go a lot further and there would be a lot more peace if people just humbled themselves. Hey, it's not that your husband or your wife is going to be perfect. They're not. But if we can humbly admit when we're wrong and continue to make efforts with God's help to put these things to practice, I'll guarantee your marriage will be a beautiful thing to behold. And it'll be a very joyous thing. It'll be a blessing. It will be heaven on earth. Not that you're never going to have a spat, but at least you'll be able to recover from that spat a lot quicker than allowing it to fall into a dismal place of distrust and destruction. that God never intended for it to be. May each spouse here tonight consider their responsibilities and put them to practice with God's help. Sow good seed and we reap the reward. May God help us tonight to do this.