There's always that awkward moment when you're wondering if the person across is gonna hold your hand or not, right? And then you saw that hesitation and you didn't expect that hesitation to be from your spouse, but sometimes that happens. Think about those words, the fellowship of kindred minds, right? We don't really speak that way anymore. Think about what that means though. the fellowship that we have, because we who are believers have the mind of Christ, are privileged and also enabled by God to relate to one another in a way that actually reflects the heart of God. Think of that, that Christian relationship, brotherly, and if you will, sisterly love among believers. is in fact a reflection of the heart of God. And I mention that by way of introducing this next part of our study in 1 Timothy chapter five. Paul has said to Timothy, a young pastor in a church at a place called Ephesus, that I am writing so that you may know how you ought to conduct yourself in the house of God. This is about family relationship. Remember that from last week. God's house, God's family is the church of the living God, the pillar and ground of the truth. God's family is held up like a pillar for all to see and the way we relate to one another as we're being sanctified increasingly reflects the heart of God himself. It's part of our testimony in this world. And in 1 Timothy 5, we see that God, by nature, is deeply concerned. Boy, that's, what happened there? I must have sneezed on that page or something. All right, focus, people, focus. 1 Timothy 5, verse 3, begins a reminder to us God by nature is deeply concerned for the care and protection of members in our family who are left destitute and lonely, in particular, widows. If you look at verse three, you see that it says to Timothy, honor widows who are really widows, okay? The verses that follow explain what is meant by honor and also what is meant by really widows. What does he mean by that? Some of your Bibles say widows indeed. Who is a widow indeed? What does Paul mean by that? Well, this explanation goes all the way to verse 16, sort of the other part of the bookend, if you will. God's family, the church, Paul says, is to relieve those who are really widows. Okay, so that's the context of verses three through 16. Now let's look at some of the details. Honor widows who are really widows. But if any widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show piety at home and to repay their parents. For this is good and acceptable before God. Now she who is really a widow and left alone trusts in God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day. But she who lives in pleasure is dead while she lives. And these things command that they may be blameless. But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his own household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. Do not let a widow under 60 years old be taken into the number, and not unless she has been the wife of one man. Well reported for good works. if she has brought up children, if she has lodged strangers, if she has washed the saints' feet, if she has relieved the afflicted, if she has diligently followed every good work. But refuse the younger widows, for when they have begun to grow wanton against Christ, they desire to marry, having condemnation because they have cast off their first faith. And besides, they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house, and not only idle, but also gossips and busybodies, saying things which they ought not to. Therefore, I desire that the younger widows marry, bear children, manage the house, give no opportunity to the adversary to speak reproachfully, for some have already turned aside after Satan. If any believing man or woman has widows, let them relieve them and do not let the church be burdened that it may relieve those who are really widows. There's a tone of seriousness to this passage, don't you think? And when we read a passage like this and we see, Paul's strong words to Timothy who is to lead the church in Ephesus in this way. We see strong words about who really is a widow in God's eyes, how such a widow is to conduct herself, how God's family is to provide for her who is really a widow, and then his very hard words for those whom he describes as younger widows. And we have to stop and think, well, what is Paul's problem? I'm not trying to be funny here. Why is he so serious? Why so specific? And we need to remember that this letter to Timothy is by and large a corrective. There are things that were happening in a specific group of people, at a specific point in human history, in a specific place, Ephesus, that ought not to have been happening. And so Paul is, first of all, writing to Timothy, leading Timothy to correct these things that ought not to have been happening. So don't forget that. This is not a passage that we can take every phrase and apply it the same way it would have been applied in Ephesus to what is happening in our culture today. But this is also the word of God. Amen. And so this is God's instruction to our hearts. Regarding how God's family is to operate. And there is an echo in this passage of two truths that come up again and again throughout scripture. First of all, there is an echo of the Ten Commandments in this passage. Did you notice that Exodus 2012 says, Honor your father and mother. What does it mean to honor one's father and mother? Well, this passage in 1st Timothy 5 will help us understand that. Turns out it's not just a thought, it's intensely practical. This business of honoring one's father and mother. God commands us to honor our parents and honoring them is demonstrated by, among many things, providing for them in their later years. Secondly, there is an echo of God's caring heart for older people, especially women whose families cannot or very frankly will not take care of them. Deuteronomy 10 18 says that God by nature administers justice for the fatherless and the widow. And so often God does that through his family. This side of the cross through his family, the church. Think of it this way. Jesus, the only perfect human being who perfectly fulfilled God's law and perfectly reflected God's heart in relationships, demonstrated this honor and this justice by making provision for Mary, his mother, even as he was dying in agony on the cross. John, the apostle, stood with Mary at the foot of the cross. And he says that when Jesus therefore saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing by, he said to his mother, Woman, behold your son. And then he said to the disciple, Behold your mother. And from that hour, that disciple took her to his own home. Mary had lost her husband. Joseph, as you know, fades very quickly out of the gospel narratives of Jesus' life. And so Jesus, as the eldest son, transfers familial care for mom from himself to John the apostle. And friends, this is a beautiful reflection of God's heart for those who are bereaved and lonely, especially orphans and widows. Here's a very basic truth that the Lord put on my heart as I look at this passage. God cares deeply for those who are alone and in need. And if you're one who takes notes, you might also add, by way of comma, and so does his church. God cares deeply for those who are alone and in need, and so does his church, his family. In fact, Jesus' little brother, James, reminds us that our own heart toward the bereaved and the lonely The destitute reveals something of our own hearts toward God. James says pure and undefiled religion before God and the father is this to visit orphans and widows in their trouble. That's pure and undefiled religion. Isn't that interesting? The gospel restores me to God. And it transforms me from a person who is by nature horribly self-centered into a person who is increasingly God-centered and other-centered. My whole social conscience is transformed by the power of God saving work in my life. And here we're reminded in 1st Timothy 5 that that transformation, that sanctifying work of Christ shows up in the way I care for my own parents. And those in God's family who are to me as mothers and fathers. In particular, the disenfranchised, the destitute, and in particular, widows with no means of provision. for themselves. In the first century, women lived under the care and protection of their fathers when they were girls, obviously, when they were young women before they were married. And that care and protection would be transferred to their husband at the time of their marriage. Society in Jesus' day was incredibly patriarchal. and that had tremendous benefits, by the way, but it also had the effect of leaving widows not only lonely, but also some of the more destitute members of the community. And it was the heart of God to his people from the beginning that such lonely, destitute people be cared for by his family. And Paul goes on here to describe then three different types of widows in the Ephesian church. Keep that in mind. This is a corrective. There are some things happening in a church that ought not to be happening. But nonetheless, we are going to have no trouble finding practical application to our own church and to our own lives and very frankly, our own families. Okay. The first type of widow is introduced to us in verse four. But if any widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show piety at home and to repay their parents, for this is good and acceptable before God. Listen, by God's design, immediate family members are responsible for the care of widows. Scripture makes this very, very plain, specifically children and grandchildren, okay? If family members, kids, the grandkids are around in God's family, then it is not to be the church's position to swoop in and financially care for those widows. Now, are we okay so far? This is not new information for any of us, is it? But we do need to stop here and ask God to search our own hearts in this matter. God intends for us to honor our parents and care for them as a means of acknowledging their own care for us when we were younger. And you say, well, what if my parents didn't do that? Sadly, there are such cases. I see that on some of your faces. How many of you know that in the Ten Commandments, which reflects the nature of God himself, not merely a list of things we're supposed to be doing? The charge to honor one's father and mother has no qualifier. There's no comma that says, if they were honorable. Because God says, I have designed family in such a way that mother and father are to be honored. It's a reflection of God's design. And so Paul says, look, this is not primarily the duty of the church family, nor the community, by the way. It is the duty and privilege of kids and grandkids to take care of widows who are abandoned without provision. And James has already reminded us that our religion is useless. If we're those who run around speaking of Jesus, but fail in this area of taking care of our own family. It's almost as if the scripture says to us, you know, maybe just set the talk aside. and just function as God instructs you to function. That alone is a powerful witness in this world. More on that later. Among the Jews in Paul's day, people were no less or more selfish than people are today. In fact, there was a rabbinical tradition among the Jews that allowed people to practice what is called korban. Have you heard of this? What is Corbin? Well, it's a perfectly good word. In fact, there's a school called Corbin University. But here's the idea of Corbin. People could exempt themselves from inconvenient financial obligations under a plea of Corbin. They could say, mom and dad, I really want to take care of you. But you see, I've pledged all of my resources to God. And the rabbis were cool with this because it worked well for them. And they spiritualized and tried to justify their greedy refusal to care for their parents by cloaking it in piety. Matthew's gospel tells us this sickened the heart of our Savior. He condemned it. And Paul will have none of this in Ephesus. He makes that clear to Timothy. And God is making clear to us this morning that he'll have none of this in his family. It's not his way. We have a version of this, by the way, in our culture. People spend down mom and dad's money on stuff they want or need. That way their parents have nothing left in the bank. That way they qualify for every government program that is out there that will help meet their needs. And so, in effect, what is happening is the community is now caring for mom and dad, not the family. And I want to be careful in saying this because I know that such things are immensely complicated. And they tend to be unique to each family situation. But let me just suggest this to you. We have to ask ourselves, when Christians do this, does that practice really reflect the heart of God? We have to ask ourselves, when the world sees the church doing this, is God glorified in his church? If this sounds harsh, Look at verse 8. If anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. Verse 16. If any believing man or woman has widows, let them relieve them and do not let the church be burdened. There's an echo of James 1.27 here. Paul is saying, look, true faith acts. It visits, it serves, it supplies, it meets needs. Because this is the nature of God. And so it will be the nature of his children. And so here is the corrective for Ephesus. And God the Holy Spirit will just use it in each of our hearts as is applicable. The corrective for the church at Ephesus was simply this, to fail to provide for our own, whether we spiritualize it or not. It doesn't matter at Hill of Beans whether it's got a coat of religion over it or not. It's a denial of the faith. So if we were to run around Hayden, Idaho, speaking of Jesus and inviting people to church and putting fish on the back of our cars and these sorts of things. But the community sees us neglecting our own family obligations. We're actually doing more harm to the church's witness than good. Particularly if we cloak our activities in religion, it's almost as if Paul is saying to Timothy, teach your people, Timothy, that they'd better stop speaking of Jesus and simply start acting like him. This is the witness of the church in the world. This is a witness that brings glory to God. Anyway, the first type of widow is one who has family, okay? And if she has family, She is to be cared for by her family. The church, listen, the church is to provide for a true widow, a widow indeed, those who are literally without family help. They have been left with no covering. Husband, father, kids, grandkids, they're gone. Either literally or from the standpoint of not being members of the family of God, they have simply abandoned her. And even then, notice that those who are provided for by the church are to be godly women engaged in the life of the church family. Verse five, now she who is really a widow and left alone trusts in God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day. Bear in mind there's a corrective tone here. There's something going on in this particular church that isn't supposed to be going on. The godly woman who is trusting in God to meet her needs who is glorifying God with her life. She has no means of financial provision herself. The church is to gladly, without hesitation, provide for her needs. Food, shelter, clothing, This isn't talking about, you know, the much wanted second vacation to Hawaii or something. Okay, we're talking about basic needs here. All right. And the evidence of her trusting in God to meet her needs is that she will often find that God meets her needs by using his family to meet her needs. The family of God, in a sense, becomes an answer to her prayers for help. Notice how this verse might address any tendency we might have to not ask for help when we need it for sake of pride or something else. How many of you know often God responds to our cries for help via other people? Have you noticed that? That's just how God seems to work most of the time. Verses six and seven, but she who lives in pleasure is dead while she lives. That sounds kind of serious. And these things command Timothy that they may be blameless, meaning not perfect, but not reproachable. Okay, not scandalous in the eyes of those who are looking on. A widow who is pursuing pleasure in this world rather than God doesn't qualify for help. There's a very strong statement here. I'm so glad it's God's and not mine. There's liberty in that, friends. A widow who has financial means but prefers to use those financial means for something other than taking care of her own basic needs doesn't qualify for help from the church. And those women, even if they were widowed, damaged the church's reputation in the community by the way that they were living. This is what Paul is wanting to correct among the Ephesian believers. He seems to be saying that the limited resources of the church family are not to be drained by those who are living irresponsible and worldly lives. That's not God's best. And it's helpful for us to reconnect with this. Does anybody else think that sounds kind of harsh? So you're afraid to raise your hand. I'm setting you up, Jason. There's an honest man in the room. Here's the thing. It does sound harsh. Because we have been soaking in a culture that feeds us the lie that anybody who raises their hand and cries out for money ought to receive money. It's okay to talk about these things. We know we think them, we just don't talk about them in church because it's just not very churchy, you know. It just doesn't sound very compassionate and loving. How many of you know one of the most compassionate things that Paul could lead Timothy to do in the Ephesian church is to disciple these younger widows, some of them apparently who were living worldly lives, perhaps bearing evidence that they didn't belong to the Lord anyway, weren't even part of God's family, to shepherd them in the direction of God's best for them. And God's best for them didn't involve simply being provided for by other people. We okay? It's all very serious. Let me suggest a general truth here that's contained in this passage that is true whether it's applied to widows or not. In God's family, compassion does not negate personal responsibility. To be charitable, to be generous, to be compassionate, to gladly let God move his stuff around from our place to somebody else's place, this is the heart of God. But it does not mean we enable people to continue in a lifestyle that is harmful to themselves and is harmful to the reputation of the church. What is meant, do you suppose, by she who lives in pleasure is dead while she lives? I don't really know. That's confusing to me. What I believe Paul is speaking about is a particular woman or group of women who are living in pleasure and they are so doing so representing that they are likely not born again anyway. They're not part of the family of God in the first place that is born out in the way that they're living. And I won't retrace all of that, but we've spoken over the weeks in this study of some of the things that were happening among men and women in this church. I just appeal to your memory there. Let me just say this. Here at Hayden Bible Church, we have many widows. Here at Hayden Bible Church, we have many godly widows. I counted 30. The last time I went through the church directory counting widows, which I've only done once as preparation for today, but I counted 30, okay? And I mentioned last week that the older godly women of our fellowship do an awful lot of the heavy lifting in this fellowship. Many of our older women are also widows and they show us what Paul means in verses 9 and 10 when he begins to describe the nature of those who were to be brought into the loving arms of the church in terms of its financial provision for them. She's been the wife of one man, well-reported for good works. She's brought up children. She's lodged strangers. She's washed the saints' feet. She's relieved the afflicted. She's diligently followed every good work. Listen, this is not a checklist, okay? So the church was not to say, boy, you know, Henrietta, She did most of this stuff. I don't remember seeing her washing any feet. She almost made the cut for help from the church. This is not what Paul is getting at. He's giving a general description of the sanctifying work of God in the life of a godly woman. This is the nature of a woman who is surrendering her life to the lordship of Jesus Christ in the context of the first century. I don't know about you. I really don't want anybody washing my feet. I'll leave that to you. There are some who believe this business of being taken into the number suggests that there was actually a group of women in the Ephesian church who had some kind of a reciprocal relationship with God's family. In other words, their service to the church was profound and it was recognized by the church providing for them financially. That's an opinion. I don't know if I agree with that or not. I don't think this passage really gives us enough information to make that case. What is inarguable here, though, is that these godly women had a service in the body of Christ that bore evidence of their devotion to God. That's the point. She's not merely someone who is needing help, she is also providing help to others. In a sense, she's kind of married herself to God's family, absent a covering in her own family. Now, real quickly here, the antithesis of this godly lifestyle is descriptive of some of the younger women in the church at Ephesus. Paul is not saying that all young widows are like this. Please don't hear that. There was a specific group of people who fit this description in this particular first century church. There were younger widows who apparently aspired to be recognized and cared for as the godly older widows were. But they didn't actually want to be godly widows themselves. Isn't that interesting? And I would submit to you that there's a bit of human nature in all of us that can relate to that type of thing. Far more people want benefits than people want responsibilities. That's what this is getting at. Far more people want to be known a certain way, reputed a certain way, than actually care to, in fact, be that way. And what is the miracle of the gospel? That God makes us outwardly religious people, No, the miracle of the gospel is that God, the Holy Spirit, takes up resident in our heart, in our soul, and begins to express himself through us. In other words, he changes us from the inside out. God is not making religious people. He's making us new in Christ so that we are, in fact, Christ-like. from the inside out. So here's what Paul is saying. Timothy, if the church provides for those who can still provide for themselves, you're going to be encouraging sin. You're actually going to be encouraging things like idleness. And idleness helps people along their way to become gossips and busybodies. Look at verse 11. Refuse the younger widows for when they have begun to grow wanton against Christ, they desire to marry, having condemnation because they've cast off their first faith. And besides, they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house, and not only idle, but also gossips in busy bodies, saying things which they ought not to. There's a pretty obvious tone here in that Paul is correcting something that has already begun to happen in this church. There may have been some of these younger women, worldly younger women, who were going house to house as the older women were, but rather than bringing encouragement and hope and help and washing feet and this sort of thing, they were just meddling in other people's business. And I ask you this morning, can we relate to that today in the general sense? That's what Paul means when he says in verse 14, give no opportunity for the enemy to speak reproachfully. In other words, the world is watching God's family. And when God's family relationships don't reflect the heart of God, it tarnishes the glory of God that ought to be received through his church. for some have already turned aside to Satan. Timothy, some of these women whose lifestyles bear evidence that the Spirit of God is not living in them anyway, have already openly displayed that by living the church and just chasing after worldly things. So there's a corrective that was needed here. Their interest in God and the church had more to do with getting money and recognition than anything else. In closing, let me just say this. Notice the acknowledgement in verse 16 that there were women in the early church who were not only not in need of help, but were financially able to help others. If any believing man or woman has widows, let them relieve them. In the book of Acts, we don't have time to chase this down this morning, but in the book of Acts we read of the death of a woman named Tabitha. She became sick and died, and the scripture says the widows of Joppa went to Tabitha's house and grieved over her. And we understand that part of their grieving not only was owed to the fact that they loved her, but that she was a provider for those widows. She took care of them. She provided their clothing and their food, this sort of thing. Interesting. Anybody remember the account of Tabitha? What happened? She died, but God the Holy Spirit enabled the Apostle Peter to enjoy the privilege of calling her back to life. And that's exactly what happened. And as I reread Luke's account of that resurrection, if you will, it reminded me of God's heart for widows. of all of the people that the Holy Spirit would choose to bring back to life in an earthly sense, why this woman? And I ask you this morning, is it possible that at least in part, it was a display of the care and the compassion that God has for widows who are widows indeed? God cares deeply for those who are alone and in need. And the reminder for us this morning is very simply, so does his church, so does his family. Let's pray. Father, thank you for this truth. We pray that you would Bring it into our hearts in such a way that we understand it. Lord, that we would receive it as instruction from you to not just be understood, but to be lived out in our lives, in our families, in this church family for your glory. We pray this in Jesus name. Amen.