Please take your Bibles with me and turn to Malachi chapter 4, the last book of the Old Testament, Malachi chapter 4. I'll read only verses 5 and 6 of Malachi 4. Behold, I am going to send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and terrible day of the Lord. And He will restore the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the land with a curse." Let's pray together. Our Heavenly Father, we think of earthly fathers who don't withhold good things from their children when they ask. And so we ask you, O gracious and merciful, long-suffering, slow to anger, full of mercy Father, that you would give to us the medicine that our fevered souls need. We live in a world full of immoral germs, and we ask that you would make us healthy, by spending time in your house this hour. We pray it in Jesus' name. Amen. I read this week of a study done on the life patterns of fathers. Many fathers were asked, how much time do you spend interacting with your children each day? And their responses testified to an average of, oh, 15, maybe 20 minutes of child word communication each day. And then when these same fathers who gave this response were microphoned and taped, the study revealed that these same fathers actually related verbally to their children on an average of 37 seconds. per day. Now, to be sure, our modern American society is savagely scourged by the plague of the absent father, right? The absent father due to illegitimate births, due to divorces, and then the single-parent homes. That's a scourge. But certainly as troubling Though more socially acceptable is the trend, not of the absent father, but what could be called the phantom father. By this I mean the father who is physically present, but practically speaking, he's a substance-less apparition. He is a non-influential ghost. in his household, barely a shadow of what a true father ought to be in the home. Our nation, our society, suffers from the plague of phantom fatherhood. Now, by way of an extended introduction for a few moments, I want us to consider this shameful plague of phantom fatherhood. Men who are physically present, but practically speaking, paternally absent. First let me give, by way of introduction, a snapshot, then I want to give a sketch. A snapshot of phantom fatherhood. It comes by way of the pen of a woman who wrote a letter describing her plight in her household. It goes this way, and I quote, The kids are in bed. There's nothing on TV tonight. I ask my husband if he minds if I turn the tube off and he grunts. As I walk to the set, my mind is racing. Maybe, just maybe, tonight we'll talk. I mean, have a conversation that consists of more than my usual question with His mumbled one word answer. Or, more accurately, no answer at all. Silence. I live in a world with continuous noise, but between Him and myself, silence. Please, O God, let Him open up tonight I initiate once again for the thousandth time. My heart pounds. Oh, how can I word it this time? What can I say that will open the door to his heart so he'll just talk? I don't have to have a deep, meaningful conversation. Just something. As I open my mouth, he gets up and goes to the bedroom. The door closes behind him. The light showing under the door. gives way to darkness. And so does my hope. I sit alone on the couch. My heart begins to ache. I'm tired of being alone. Hey, I'm married. I have been for years. Why do I sit alone? The sadness undergoes a change slowly. Then, with increased fervor, I get mad. I am mad. I am sick and tired of living with a sissy, a wimp, a coward. Hostile, you say? You'd better believe it. I'm sick and tired of living in a world of passive men." She's describing phantom fatherhood, which is a plague in our nation today. She goes on. My two sons like sports. They're pretty good. They could be a lot better if their dad would take a little of his precious time and play catch with them. I'm sorry. Catch once a year at the church picnic doesn't quite make the boys into great ball players. But dad's too busy. Dad's at work. Or he's at the health club. Or he's riding his four-wheeler. or he's working on the car, or he's playing golf, or he's tired, or he's watching a video movie. So who plays catch with the boys? Me. My husband then says, you shouldn't be playing sports like a man. So, who's going to do it? He says he will, but he doesn't. Remember, he's too busy satisfying himself doing what he likes. So my poor sons have to be second rate in sports. They could have been good, real good. And yeah, I'm mad. And my daughter, she's a teenager. She likes boys. And they notice her. They pay attention to her. And she responds, I know what's coming. I try to talk to her, but it's not me she wants, it's Dad. Yeah, Dad. If he'd just hug her, if he'd just notice her, if he'd just talk to her, just a little, she wouldn't need those boys so much. But no, so she turns elsewhere for attention and love, and there's nothing I can do. A mom isn't enough. Kids need a father, not just a warm body, a passive, silent presence. Kids need a real father. Not like the plague of phantom fatherhood in our day. Now, I trust that this is not a letter that was penned or could have been penned by a woman here in this congregation?" Or maybe I ask, is it your wife who penned this? I don't think so. But ladies, if this is a description of your husband, please, I want to know about it. And other men in this church want to know about it, so this issue can be dealt with. Although I speak this way, I am hopeful of better things in our case. It is oftentimes a wholesome thing and a constructive exercise to survey the scene of dereliction. Because when we view dereliction, it reminds us. The writer of Proverbs in Proverbs 24 describes to us the man, the sluggard, whose field is broken down, overgrown with thorns and thistles, the wall is crumbling, and the Writer of Proverbs says, I, he was probably a very diligent man himself, but I pondered myself, a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest, and poverty comes on you like a bandit and scarcity like an armed man. In my describing this broken down wall of a phantom father, can't many of us say, you know what, for me, all it would take is a little sleep, a little slumber, a little permitting of the fleshy wilderness to grow in my heart and I would be the same guy producing the crack of light and darkness at the bottom of the door in my wife's and my children's life too. It's a good thing for us to ponder this plague of phantom fatherhood. So that is just a bit of a snapshot regarding phantom fatherhood by way of introduction. But I promised two things by way of introduction. I've been given a snapshot. Now, let me just give a sketch, a sketch, a thumbnail sketch by way of historical background. How do we get to this point where phantom fatherhood is at epidemic proportions in our day? Well, let's go back to the typical Christian colonial That is when the settlers first came, man, in America centuries ago. He came across basically the God-fearing man. He would work his field. He would nurture his family. His recreation would be debating theology with the other fathers in the market square. But then, after the colonial world came the Industrial Revolution, and men left the family and the farm for the factory. And left behind him sons, the greatest concern, and daughters. The greatest concern would be sons in the hands exclusively of mothers, and eventually a female-dominated school system. Sociologist Lawrence Fuchs says, by the 20th century then, socially and morally, it became acceptable for men not to be involved any longer with their families. They had a life elsewhere. Men became, generally speaking, aloof in many quarters of our society. Male abdication in the home with the children brought about female ascension to fill the vacuum. Women then took hold in many ways of the societal reins, held them tightly because men had let go. Women began to campaign for social reform and, if you know American history, One of the pet projects became the reformation of derelict husbands who, instead of being in the home, would be off at work. But when the work hours were done, instead of coming to the home, they would go to the bars. And they weren't debating theology in the bars. And thus arose the Women's Christian Temperance Union. attempting to bring about sobriety to the male gender. This then eventually morphed into feminism, as men continued their abdication. And feminism generated a disdain for male authority. They called it chauvinism. And much of the feminist literature would say that traditional marriage is, and I quote now from the document of feministic literature, Traditional marriage is legally sanctioned a method of abusively controlling women. And if you want a modern manifestation of that, just read or go to, I don't necessarily recommend either, the Da Vinci Code, or you will find the very subtle insinuation that Mary Magdalene was really appointed as the head of the church, the Pope, if you will, But chauvinistic men subjugated Mary Magdalene so that men might be those who are leading in the church of the Lord Jesus Christ. As we go on in history, unprincipled men now in our generation have been cowed into being passive nice guys, brainwashed by the notion that the word authority is a naughty word, that male headship is inherently abusive, and that aggressive leadership is downright rude. And so, women, in many ways in our society, finally have what the feminists told them they wanted. And they're heart sick, because they sit late at night on sofas, viewing the light at the bottom of the door going out, and they realize they don't have a true man, they don't have a true husband, they don't have a true father in the house, but they have a phantom, a mere shell of what he ought to be. So by way of introduction, there is the snapshot and the sketch regarding phantom fatherhood. Now, my desire is, because of this epidemic of phantom fatherhood in our generation, the virus is in the air and frankly we all breathe it in, my desire is to bring some Father's Day medicine. And this is not the sugar water that can be found in so many places. I could bring you sugar water I could bring you the saccharine sweet stuff as I was looking around and trying to find some fresh material regarding Father's Day. Beloved, I find literature and writings and information that basically call upon dads to be soft and sweet and cuddly. Basically, a mom with stubble on the face. That's what I'm finding. But I desire to bring some true biblical medicine, and my desire is to use the three persons of the Trinity, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. as the three key ingredients to the Father's Day medicine. We're going to focus on the Trinity, three main headings. I realize you say, oh, come on, Pastor Chansky, this is Father's Day. We don't want to focus in upon the doctrine of theology and the Trinity. Let me just give you a comment by a man named Weldon Hardenbrook. He talks to men as he's trying to encourage them. He says, I know I'm getting theological, but men are going to have to get theological. Something their passive minds don't natively want to do to come back to the truth of manhood. Theology, remember, is a manly discipline. What do we think Adam was doing in the garden when he taught with his heavenly Father in the cool of the day. They talked theology. Adam sought to think God's thoughts after his heavenly Father. Is it not in the colonial marketplace that men, maybe when they were really men, they talked about and they discussed theology. Isn't it appropriate on this Lord's Day, on this Father's Day? to straighten ourselves out, to talk some theology. Hardenbrick goes on. He says, when men forsake the discipline of thinking theologically, they surrender their families to the serpent's influence. And you think back to the Garden of Eden and the first Adam who didn't want to think his father's thoughts after him. making himself open to the insinuations of the serpent. Hardenbrook goes on to say, so, rather than just being comfortable and unscholarly, men need to think even if it hurts. So, we come to the house of God and we need to gird up the loins of our minds. We need to, as the apostle says in 1 Corinthians 16, to be fathers. We need to quit ourselves. We need to act as men. So, for the medicine, come with me to three main ingredients for Father's Day medicine. The first is, imitate the fatherhood of God. I want to talk about the Father, then the Son, and the Spirit. Most of our time I'll be with the Father. Imitate the fatherhood of God. One commentator said about this theme, decades we've seen rush through our nation the Jesus movement. Some benefits came from that in some ways. Then rushing through our society was the Holy Spirit movement. And there were some benefits in some ways. But he pleads, how about a God the Father movement? rushing through our society, through our churches. Many benefits would redound. Consider then, imitate the fatherhood of the Father. Seven traits. First of all, for to be fathers, we have to have a model. And ultimately, it is our Heavenly Father. The first trait is, He diligently labors. He diligently labors. Genesis 1. We find that our Heavenly Father, what's He like? Let's watch Him in His activities. What does the Father look like? Well, in Genesis 1 we find that He takes in hand the formless and void heavens and the earth. It's a mess, you could say. It's a void wilderness in some senses. We find He designs a plan. Then in six days, He executes that plan. What does He do on the environment of the world? He imposes His will upon it very aggressively. We find it says in Exodus 20 and verse 9 regarding the Sabbath commandment, six days you shall labor and do all your work. Well, who are we imitating there? It says, for in six days the Lord God made the heavens and the earth. We are to be laboring individuals. Dads, fathers, our sons, our daughters need to see that. We're not to be sofa-sitting slugs. We are to be foresightful and aggressive men of vocational dominion. And when our sons leave our homes and they have this image in their mind of what a father is, he's one who diligently labors. Back in the 1940s, a soldier, a sailor actually, was spied in Albany, New York, by a man. And the man asked this soldier, what time is it? The soldier pulled out a huge watch from his pocket, and the soldier said, the sailor, it's 7.20 AM. And the man knew it was a little after 9 AM. And he said, your clock isn't right. The sailor said, I know, I'm still on mountain time. You see, I'm from South Utah. Paul gave me his watch. He said it had helped me remember home. And so when it says 5.30 a.m., I know Dad is rolling out to milk the cows. And when it says 7.30 a.m., I know the whole family is round the table, and Dad's thanking God for what's on the table, and he's asking God to watch over me who's away from the table. You see, the boy is away, and he has an impression in his mind of what a dad is, of what a father ought to be. But meditating on the Scriptures and our Heavenly Father, we get a clue of what we ought to be as earthly fathers, forsightful and aggressive men, giving ourselves to vocational dominion, giving ourselves to planning things and executing plans. It's at the home of a man in our church this week. I find it very beneficial to be socializing with and engaging in pastoral visits amidst and just having iron sharpening, iron contact with men in our church. A great blessing. This father was talking about to-do lists. teaching his kids to deal with these instead of merely aimlessly wandering throughout their days. Maybe how about six things to do if you're going to be like the Heavenly Father? Six things to do and go after them on a daily basis, premeditatedly driving to accomplish tasks. In fact, there was a new flagpole put up at this father's house. And he told me how, yeah, I took one of my sons and we poured the concrete into the ground and we had to get the PVC pipe in there so it was perfectly level and so that it's strong enough so that when the wind hits the flag, it doesn't knock the whole thing over. What a blessed thing when children are able to see their fathers telling them how to engage in productive projects. Just like the heavenly Father came and spoke to Adam, son and Eve his daughter in the beginning. He said, look, I want you to be fruitful, I want you to multiply, fill the earth, subdue it, rule over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the sky, over every living thing that moves upon the earth. That's what a father does to his sons and to his daughters. He gives them direction and he helps them follow it through. He even says there, that the Lord God put the man in the garden so that he might cultivate it in Genesis 2.15. So, we want to be able to be fathers who are like God. First, He diligently labors. Second, He abundantly provides. Our Heavenly Father abundantly provides. It says in Genesis 1.28, God says, Behold, I have given you every seed-bearing plant. I have given you fruit trees for food. You see how God provides, Heavenly Father provides for His children. Psalm 104 and verse 28 says that the Heavenly Father opens His hands and satisfies the need of every living thing, those things He has inspired with life. We have inspired our children with life. We are fathers in our households. Though this may be a given, certainly in our generation, it's something that is rarely understood. Dads, fathers, husbands, We have a solemn duty in our families as, listen to me, the breadwinner and the provider in our families. We are the ones who are to bring home the bacon. We are to come home with our hands filled, like a heavenly Father, to satisfy the needs of those in our household. Fathers, husbands, Men, this is our holy responsibility and we ought to experience great conscience pressure. It's not my wife. I know the dual income thing is so common today. Beloved, the dual income thing where men depend upon their wives to bring home the bacon and the bread to support the family is an ungodly habit in our society today. A man must say, I must find a way to put food on the table. So help me God to put a roof over my beloved's head, to find clothing for their backs. This is a real contrast to the contemporary playboy who needs so much of his own income and the family's funds to provide him for his recreational activity and his toys. You ever see the man in West Michigan here? He's got to have his $30,000 muscle truck. He's got to have it. And therefore, when you ask about budget issues, my wife has to go off and work because we have certain expenses that we have to pay. What about your little toddler child? Well, we leave them off at what one person recently said, at the village kennel, so that we can go off and pay off all of the expenses that we have to support our lifestyle. That, men and fathers, is not acting like the Heavenly Father, who is one who abundantly provides. Thirdly, He wisely commands. What should we be like as fathers? Look to the Heavenly Father. He wisely commands. Now I'm aware, beloved, that today it is not hip to be, in fact there's a phrase now, a command leader. It's okay to be a suggesting leader. It's okay to be a tender leader. You cannot be a command leader in our day because this smacks of authority. An authority of any kind harms relationships. But notice, if you're still there in Genesis, Genesis 2.16, look what it says there. Our Heavenly Father, it says, and the Lord God commanded His son Adam, commanded the man saying, from any tree of the garden you may eat freely, but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat." Look what he does. He authoritatively, as a father, prohibits his son from accessing the tree of life, the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Dads, moms can listen in too. It is early and fundamental that we must start this principle of our being command fathers. who actually display a sense of authority over our children. Even, it's interesting how the first issue was with the mouth and what would be eaten, what fruit would be put in the mouth. It starts, dads, moms, at the high chair. These peas you are to eat. and though you may want to drink Coca-Cola on tap, it's not going to happen. We will determine, it's very fundamental, what you do put in your mouth and what you do not put in your mouth. This is very basic, isn't it? And we need to be willing to establish ourselves on the basis of a godly relationship. The Heavenly Father, He gave ten commandments And 9 of the 10 are actually negative. I know we're told by the sociologists and the psychologists we're never to speak in the negative. Don't prohibit things of your children. No one ever told that to the Heavenly Father. Our Heavenly Father who is bold to say, you shall and you shall not. So just think with me. We need to make sure that we are being men who are willing to command for the good of our children and even forbid things that are dangerous for them. You will not watch that television show in this house. You will not, young lady, engage in some kind of mid-teen adolescent romance. I know everybody else does it. It's not going to happen. You know what everybody else is doing? A dad may say, it's not going to happen in this house. Young lady, you are not going to dress that way. Now, I know that there are many fathers who are afraid to confront their daughters about such things. But beloved, if we are to be like the Heavenly Father, we need to wisely command. Just look a little ahead in Genesis chapter 18, and notice what it says here in verse 19. one of the first earthly fathers of whom we get a close profile, the Lord says, For I have chosen him, Abraham, in order that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing righteousness and justice. Fathers, we need to do commanding. And do not be cowed by a world that would villainize you if you seek to have a command influence in the lives of your children. Fourthly, regarding the fatherhood of the father, he's a principled disciplinarian. He's a principled disciplinarian. When a wise father and a godly father issues a command and an accompanying threat, he needs to be like his heavenly father who delivers. The Heavenly Father says, you are not to eat from the fruit of this tree, for if you do, what's the threat? You will surely die. Now, it says in Ephesians 6, do not be deceived, God will not be mocked. But how sadly many of us are mocked because we issue a command and there may be an implied or a spoken threat And there's not a consistent delivering of the discipline. Fundamentally here, moms and dads, never issue a commandment to your children. Never issue a commandment to your children that you are not willing to follow through to full compliance. Very fundamental. Never issue a command to your children that you're not willing to follow through to full compliance. They need to honor their father and mother. The word honor in the Hebrew means take heavy. When you speak a word to them, it must influence them in the direction that you have spoken. Your words must be weighted like sandbags by discipline that backs it up. Don't permit them to be like feathers by being inconsistent, practically speaking. The child is sitting at the kitchen counter and he or she is kicking against the wooden panel that is in front of the stool. Can you relate to that? That's a noise that's going on. And you say, Tommy or Sally, don't kick the wood panel. A child knows exactly what's going on, but he keeps kicking. Don't kick. The way he keeps kicking and Dad walks out of the room. This happens all the time. Mom walks out of the room. It's so difficult, Mom, isn't it? Throughout the day, to be consistent. It's easy to let your words be treated like feathers. You may say, I don't have time. I don't have time to weight my every word. Dear Mother, dear Father, we don't have time not to weight our words. You go traveling, you go into an airport, and you find the product of fathers who've permitted their children to disregard their words. The father's trying to run to catch a plane. Come on, Tommy! Come on, Tommy! Oh, he's standing there purposefully, staring at the little book display, and Tommy knows that his daddy wants him to go, but Tommy has been trained to disregard daddy's words, and daddy is shamed publicly. Parents, we need to weight our words. Now, all of us are sitting here saying guilty. Who of us can sit here and say that when we may be embarrassed publicly, we've all been embarrassed publicly, haven't we? That we should encourage one another. You know, I've gone through this too, and I've struggled with this matter myself. But beloved, we need to realize that we need to get back to the basics. If our children, when they're older, have problems with working with complex fractions, and they realize that they don't even understand their timetables yet, we've got to go right back to the basics, don't we? We don't have time not to go back to the basics and relearn the timetables. And so, we need to be principled disciplinarians, like is our Heavenly Father. It says there in Hebrews chapter 12, and there in verse 5 and following, "...My son, do not lightly regard the discipline of the Lord, nor faint when you are reproved by Him. For those whom the Lord disciplines, those whom He loves, the Lord disciplines and He scourges every son whom He receives." It goes on to say, Furthermore, we had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not rather be subject to the father of spirits and live? Verse 11, all discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful but sorrowful. Another translation, painful. And so we need to at times inflict the painful discipline of a heavenly father. This week I received a letter dated June 15. I don't even know this man. I don't know how this man knows me. But he wrote this way. Here are his words. Dear Pastor Chansky, I'm 42 years old. He gave me some historical background. My boys are 13 and 15. And they have absolutely no discipline in their lives. The 13-year-old refuses to direct requests to perform certain tasks that, to both his mother and me, are not unreasonable. He is extremely discourteous to his mother and contemptuous toward me. Last week, for instance, he cursed his mother. The older boy was recently arrested for drunken driving and he doesn't even yet have a driver's license or a learning permit. Remember, he's 15. The authorities, however, dismiss the case with a warning. Any thoughts or suggestions, Pastor Chansky, you might have for me would be greatly appreciated." What would you have written to that man? I came across this account. I read it a few years ago. It bears rereading. A man writes, probably almost a century ago, his account as a father. One night after my 15-year-old boy had been sent home for insubordination to college authority, that's why I say decades ago, a 15-year-old in college, this is the second time that night I slept but little. The next morning after breakfast, I cut a good switch and rehearsed to my boy his course of disobedience. I said to him to take off his coat. He replied, I won't do it. I looked at him in the face and said, My boy, I am your father, you are my son. And I promised God Almighty on my knees last night that I would control you and I will whip you here this morning or you and I will die in this woodland. Take off your coat, sir. He saw in my eyes for the first time in his life the spirit of authority. He drew his coat off in a moment, and I gave a sound thrashing, at the conclusion of which I said, Now kneel down with me. We knelt down together, and I told God of my neglect, and of my boy's sinful conduct, and promised God that in the hearing of my boy to be faithful to my duty the remainder of my life, and prayed God's blessings on my wayward child. When we arose, He put his arm around my neck, and his head was in my bosom, and we wept together for a long time. Then he looked up and said, Father, I will never give you a moment's more trouble. And from that day to this, I have never had a care about him. He has been the most obedient son a father ever had. He's married now, an official in the church, and no truer, nobler Christian man walks the earth than my precious son." What? What? He confronted a 15-year-old boy like that? That's cruel. That's abusive. The Word of the Heavenly Father says in Proverbs 13, He who spares the rod hates his son. He who loves him is careful to discipline him. I'm not saying that starting with The rod at age 15 is the way to go and to do it. But beloved, we need to be principled. We need to start early and be wise in our imaging our Heavenly Fathers being a principled disciplinarian. Fifthly, fifthly about our Heavenly Father, He's compassionately patient. He's compassionately patient. Turn with me to Psalm 103. We've been meditating on this in past weeks. The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in loving kindness. We meditated on this recently. He will not always strive with us or chide us. This means He's not quick to make a complaint. He overlooks weaknesses, it goes on, Psalm 103 and verse 13, just as a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him. He Himself knows our frame. He is mindful that we are but dust. You know, when a father has the foundation of being a principled disciplinarian, from that foundation and upon that, he can build tender compassion. Without the foundation, tenderness means nothing at all except something that a child will pity. A father who is principled and actually would take the rod to his child is able at a given point in time when the child is standing with his hands on the bed ready for the blow, the father can occasionally take the rod and strike the bed hard seven times and say, you this time get mercy. You know what? That word means something. Compassion means something to a child who knows of discipline and justice. And we need to be compassionately patient and to display that to our children. You know, there are some men who struggle with being the phantom wimp of a father. But there are other men who struggle on the other side being the tyrant of a father. We need to use our Heavenly Father as our model. Consider this account that is given by a father. He writes this little letter at night to his son. He says, Little son, I'm saying this to you as you lie asleep, one little paw crumpled under your cheek and the blonde curls stickily wet on your damp forehead. I have stolen into your room alone. Just a few minutes ago, as I sat reading my paper in the library, a hot stifling wave of remorse swept over me. I could not resist, so guiltily I have come to your bedside. These were the things I was thinking, son. I have been cross to you. I scolded you as you were dressing for school because you gave your face merely a dab with a towel. I took you to task for not cleaning your shoes. I called angrily when I found you had thrown some of your things on the floor at breakfast. I found fault too. You spilled things. You gulped down your food. You put your elbows on the table. You spread butter too thick on your bread. And as you started off to play and I made my train, you turned and waved a little hand and called, Goodbye Daddy! And I frowned and said in reply, Hold your shoulders back there, boy. And it began all over again when I returned late in the afternoon. As I came up the hill, I spied you down on your knees playing marbles, and there were holes in your stockings. I humiliated you before your little boy friends by making you march ahead of me back to the house. Stockings were expensive, and if you had to buy them, you'd be more careful. Imagine that, son, from a father. It was so stupid of me. Do you remember later when I was reading in the library and how you came in softly and timidly with a sort of a hurt, hunted down look in your eyes? And when I glanced upon you over my paper, impatient at your interruption, you hesitated at the door and I said, what is it you want? I snapped. You said nothing, but you ran across, and in one tempestuous plunge, you threw yourself into my arms and around my neck, and you kissed me again and again, and your small arms tightened with an affection that God had set blooming in your heart and which even neglect could not wither. When you were gone, pattering up the stairs, I had a deep guilt in my heart. Now I have come to your bedside in the darkness, and I have knelt down here. I'm choking with emotion. I'm so ashamed of yourself, and I have prayed to God to strengthen me with new resolution." You see, we need to be fathers who are compassionately patient, like our Heavenly Father is, who does not always strive or chide. And sadly, this is a crime that overly aggressive fathers commit against big boys as well as little boys, and commit against little girls and big girls as well. We need to be like our Heavenly Father. He is compassionately patient. Sixthly, He verbally instructs. He verbally instructs. We want to be like our Heavenly Father. So we go to Genesis chapter 1, and we find He's talking. The Heavenly Father talks to Adam, His son, and Eve, His daughter. Be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth, rule it, subdue it. He instructs them in gardening. He's even involved in finding a mate. He's involved in matchmaking. They're big. Oh, the Father is still present there. He also confronts them regarding forbidden fruit. Even after Outside the garden there is a good heavenly Father confronting Cain. Cain is talking to him. He knows his son, Rehoboam. Sin is crouching at your door. Do you ever confront your sons? Do you ever confront your... Honey, sin is crouching at your door. It desires to have you, but you must master it. Communicating. Talking. Noah is told how to build an ark and how to sacrifice. Abraham is told to leave his present land. He's told about the stars in the sky and righteousness. Israel, the nation of God, is given commandments, a blueprint for the tabernacle. They're given the Pentateuch, the first five books of the Bible. Then come the prophets. What are they doing? They're always talking. They're always giving the critique of the Father on national life, and then the Father's Word becomes flesh and dwells amongst, and then He leaves behind the written Word of God. You see, a heavenly Father, a godly Father, verbally instructs, doesn't just merely grunt out an occasional word or phrase. Peter the child, whose father dispenses words with an eyedropper. Just drop by drop. Man, we should be like a gushing garden hose. And we ought to be drenched. Whenever we talk to our kids, they get drenched with their dad's words. You think of Proverbs chapter 4. Hear, my sons, the instruction of a father. My sons, give attention that you may gain understanding, for I give you sound teaching. Do not abandon my instruction. When I was a son to my father, tender, the only son in the sight of my mother, then He taught me. He said to me, let your heart hold fast to My words. Keep My commandments and live. Acquire wisdom, My son. Acquire understanding. Don't forget nor turn away from the words of My mouth. Fathers, if we're to be godly fathers, we need to be talkers. Children leave our house, they ought to be able to say, my dad has an opinion and a conviction about almost every topic you can imagine. I know what my dad would say about this. I know what my dad would say about that. And lo and behold, you know what even comes out of their mouth, just naturally, what a dad. There's one boy, a man in here, I just looked at him, my eyes caught him. His dad was a fountain of speech and the boy is a junior host. Same, his dad. I hear his dad in his voice. It's a glorious thing. It's a wonderful thing. We need to be verbally instructing our children like a godly father. So that then is the Heavenly Father. We will stop there with the Father. I want to get to the Son with the time we have available. So we need to imitate the fatherhood of the Father. Secondly, by way of medicine, as we move down the Trinity, and I said most of our time wouldn't be spent with the Father, we need to meditate on the fatherhood of the Son. Meditate on the fatherhood of the Son. You say, now wait a minute, Pastor Chansky, that's an oxymoron. That doesn't match. Fatherhood of the Son? I mean, Jesus is our brother. He's not our Father. Well, wait a minute. The Scriptures do designate Jesus as a Father in some ways. You think of Isaiah 9, 6, Unto us a child is born, unto us a Son is given. About whom is that speaking? Oh, Jesus' Son. Unto us a child is born, unto us a Son is given, and He shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Jesus is profoundly a father and specifically you consider how Adam is designated as the head or father of the human race and Jesus is designated as the head or father of the elect church. 1 Corinthians 15-22, in Adam, our Father, all die. In Christ, who is the second and the last Adam, all are made alive. Profoundly, Christ is the Father of the people of the church of the Lord Jesus Christ. How did Jesus in that sense father the church? There He was. He came to be the Father, the representative head of the elect of God's people. I think we find in capsule form, Mark 10.45, the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve and to give His life as a ransom for many. What does a father of a people do? A father of a family do? He comes and He lives and He sacrifices Himself. His priority is not His relaxation. It is not His Recreation? It is not his vacation. His priority is caring for the needs of those who are relying upon him. Our first father, Adam, selfishly caved in to his own lusts. That's in essence what Adam, our first father, did. But our second Father, the Lord Jesus, heroically crucified His own lusts, and He laid down His life for those who were relying upon Him. For what was Jesus living? If He would have interviewed them, He would have said, If we could have interviewed Jesus on the cross, why are you hanging there? You are the Son of God. You can summon forth twelve legions of angels in a moment. You are the omnipotent God. You yourself can leap down from the cross at any moment. And you can sweep all those head-wagging scoffers into hell. Why don't you do it? His answer? For them. For them. I am their father. He thinks in his mind's eye. You know, we can sometimes sit in our office or be off on a trip and we can see little pictures of them in our wallet, or them in a little portrait that's been given to us. The Lord Jesus Christ on the cross, flashing before his mind's eye. I'm going to give a bill, and for John, and for them. A heavenly father in Christ, for them he lived. He considered others more highly than himself, for them he lived, submitting even to death on a cross." That's how we need to live as fathers, for them. Some of you see that, one of the reasonably good movies that have come out, Cinderella Man. Have you seen that movie? It's a movie about a man named James Braddock. Decades ago, he was a boxer in the time of the Depression. There's a poignant scene where he's fighting because he has to provide money for his family. They're back at home and they're hungry and they're starving. He's been knocked down onto the canvas. There he is, down on the canvas. And the coaches say to him, stay down! And his friends say to him, stay down. He realizes if he stays down, he can no longer get maybe a couple hundred bucks for his family fighting. And as he stays down, they show these flashes of one son off shuddering there in the home that has no heat. And there's another picture of a daughter who's starving and isn't able to eat. And you can just see it in his mind. laying there and leisurely finishing off for the night, he wants to be able to fight again, so he stands up for them. He stands up. And he stands another round for them. He actually went on to provide greatly for his family because he was going to stand up. You know, even now, it may be, fathers, you may say, man, this sermon has been like a right cross to my jaw. You got me down on the canvas for the count because you've hit me square with this. Well, I will just say to you, get up and crucify your lusts for them. Think of them. Think of that daughter. Think of that son. Get up. Get up for them. You weren't any good laying in your phantom father's stupor when you came in. Get up. Get up for them as you meditate on the fatherhood of the Son who lived for others. And just lastly, lastly and basically in closing, ask for the fatherhood of the Spirit. Ask for the fatherhood of the Spirit. Father, Son and Spirit. I admit that in preparing and delivering this message, I am ashamed of myself because I myself fall so miserably short of what a father ought to be. I see my own selfishness and it sickens me. And I ask, how can my selfish heart be changed that I might become a more God-like and Christ-like father? And the answer, not by Mark's might, not by Mark's power, but by the Spirit, says the Lord. And that's why when I think of beginning, I began over at Malachi chapter 4 where it spoke of, I will send to you the spirit of Elijah to turn the hearts of the fathers back to the children. And then we need, we who have such a coward's heart, we need a lion's heart. If we're down in the canvas, we need to be infused with the lion of the tribe of Judah to get up again and to be a true biblical father. And so we need to ask, Oh Lord, I'm such a passive wimp in many ways. I'm such a coward. Lord, give me a lion's heart this Father's Day so that I can get up and do what I need. So I can be like that father who stands there in the woodlands and comes to my son if the need be and said, say, I have been derelict as a father in the past, but now I'm going to be a true father to you. You know what? When we think of this asking for the fatherhood of the Spirit, we just don't need the Spirit Father to change our hearts. We need the Spirit to change the hearts of our kids, because the back end of that statement in Malachi is, I'm going to send Elijah the prophet and he will restore the hearts of the fathers to their children and the hearts of the children to their fathers. It's one thing for us to stand in the woodlands and confront our son, but it's another thing for our son to melt like that boy in the woodlands melted. And that we cannot do. We need to ask the Holy Spirit of God, yes, would You turn my heart to my children. But oh, Spirit of God, come in power. Spirit of God, come in power. You said Elijah would come. The greater the Elijahs come. Lord Jesus, send Your Spirit so that my son's heart, my daughter's heart would be turned to me so that I can turn them to you. May God enable us to enjoy a true, not phantom fatherhood in our lives, but a true biblical, godly, Christian fatherhood in our families. May God help it to be so. Let's pray together. Our Heavenly Father, You've said that if we ask for an egg, you won't give us a serpent. You've said if we ask for bread, you won't give us a stone. So, Heavenly Father, please turn our hearts to our children. And then, Heavenly Father, please turn our children's hearts to us and ultimately to You. We pray it in Jesus' name. Amen.