You are listening to a sermon from River Community Church in Prairieville, Louisiana. Remain standing, if you would, for the reading of God's Word from Matthew 5, verses 31 and 32. It was also said, whoever divorces his wife, let him give her certificate of divorce. But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery. And whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. This is the word of God. You may be seated. What a text to come to on Father's Day. As we approach this topic, I think it's important to keep a few things in mind. First, we live in a severely divorce-damaged culture, don't we? Not just divorce-happy, but divorce-damaged. Back in the 90s and 2000s, the statistics were that at least 50% of marriages ended in divorce. How many of you either have been divorced, or you come from divorced homes, or your siblings have been divorced, or your kids have been divorced? I'd say the vast majority of people in this room have some divorce somewhere in their immediate family, yeah? Now, our current statistics are more nuanced. Whereas in the 90s and 2000s, it was like a 50-50 rating. Now only 40% of first marriages end in divorce. That seems better, but things go further. Whereas 40% of first marriages end in divorce, 60% of second marriages end in divorce, and 70% of third marriages. Now, the main takeaway from that statistic is that someone who has divorced once is more likely to divorce again. They know where their ripcord is. They're quick to exit. But even that lower divorce rate for first marriages isn't as great as you might think. Whereas in 1990, only 40% of adults were unmarried. Now, more than 50% of adults in America are single and unmarried. Of those who are truly single, they're not even dating somebody. Half of them aren't even looking to date. And a third of never married adults say they have never even been in any committed relationship. A lot of the reason for this is that a large segment of the society has grown up in homes that are damaged or broken often by divorce. And so a great number of young people would rather casually hook up and remain perpetually single or have a live-in relationship rather than get into a marriage that they are afraid is doomed to inevitably divorce and bring kids into a home that's probably gonna break up and their kids have to suffer the same way that they did. As a result, the Pew Research Center posits that one in four of today's young adults may never marry, 25%. Second, as we saw with pornography use last week, the statistics for divorce among Christians are not much better than among the general population. They're better, but not much better. As Christians, we have lost our saltiness in this area. Our light has grown dim. And this is terrible because gospel witness largely begins with Christian marriage and Christian homes. The home, the father, mother, husband, wife, and children relationship, given what we see in Ephesians 5 and other places. The Christian home is meant to provide a plausibility structure for the gospel. A Christian family makes the gospel make sense and be believable. How many people do you know that are atheists or otherwise just hate God because they're mad at their parents for getting divorced, or they're mad at their dad for being a jerk, or their mom for being manipulative. If you really dig down with people who are angry at God, the main reason often is that their families did not exhibit the gospel. And so the gospel is not believable. And this is even worse when the parents claim to be a Christian. It should be no surprise that when Christians aren't living out their witness in the home, that people are skeptical of the evangelical religion. If your faith doesn't make your home better, what's the use? We must remember that God says, I hate divorce and significant part because He desires godly children to be produced in godly homes. Therefore, we cannot claim to be serious followers of Jesus Christ and have a light estimation of divorce. We cannot treat it as a solution to our marital woes because divorce doesn't fix anything. I'll say it again, divorce doesn't fix anything. It fundamentally breaks something. It ruptures something. Now, if, as Jesus says, something's already ruptured the home, if adultery has already ruptured the home, then divorce is appropriate. But divorce never fixes anything. It just finalizes something. And ask anybody who's been through a divorce, it never really makes your life easier. And they split you from somebody who makes your life miserable. But it doesn't make your life easier, especially if there are kids involved. It doesn't make your kid's life any easier. Third, it's important for us to recognize that Jesus' words here in our text are a continuation and development of His application of the seventh commandment about adultery. In fact, divorce may be the central issue on his mind in this section of the Sermon on the Mount. It flows out of his discussion of lust and into his discussion of oath-taking. As Tom Wright observes, it may be stating the obvious to point out that if people knew how to control their bodily lusts on the one hand and were committed to complete integrity and truth-telling on the other, there would be fewer, if any, divorces. Divorce normally happens when lust and lies have been allowed to grow up like weeds and choke the fragile and beautiful plant of marriage. So let's consider the problem of divorce from the Bible's perspective here. First, we'll consider how the Pharisees thought about divorce, and then we'll think about how Jesus thinks about divorce. So first, Pharisees. And what's interesting about the Pharisees is that they focused on the process of divorce, not the grounds for divorce. We see this in their attitude and how Jesus quotes their teaching on the subject. Quote, it was also said, whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce. Notice that the emphasis here is on how you get a divorce, not why you get a divorce. The grounds of the divorce for the Pharisees were fundamentally irrelevant. In fact, it was the prevailing view of the day that men could divorce their wives for any reason whatsoever. The train of thought is clear from Matthew 19, verse three, which we'll look at later. But that verse says, when the Pharisees came to Jesus and tested him, they asked him, is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause? Did you hear that? For any reason. Indeed, the prevailing school taught that if a husband found anything in his wife that he did not like, anything that displeased him, even something so trivial as she burned his dinner, or she was kind of nagging, that constituted for the Pharisees grounds for divorce. All he had to do If he was displeased with his wife, was give her this written certificate of divorce and send her away." In other words, the Pharisees were not really concerned about the heart of the law. They weren't concerned about the morality of divorce or God's intentions for marriage. They weren't thinking about its effects on women or children or society. They were focused on doing it the right way. This is ironic given the passage of Scripture that they appealed to. Turn with me, if you would, to Deuteronomy chapter 24. Deuteronomy is the fifth book of the Old Testament. Deuteronomy 24. We'll begin in verse 1. takes a wife and marries her, then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, and she departs out of his house. And if she goes and becomes another man's wife, and the latter man hates her and writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the latter man dies, who took her to be his wife, Then her former husband, who sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife after she has been defiled, for that is an abomination before the Lord. And you shall not bring sin upon the land that the Lord your God is giving you for an inheritance." Now it's important to note that this is the only passage in the Law of Moses that speaks directly to divorce. So this is the only passage that the Jews, the Pharisees, could reference when they sought biblical and judicial principles for how to handle divorce. What's more, this was needed in their political environment. How so? You'll remember that under the law of Moses, the legal penalty for adultery was what? Death. Under Moses, the legal penalty for adultery was death. Within ancient Israel, the sin of adultery was a capital offense that brought a capital punishment. And this is the seriousness with which God views adultery among His people. It's as bad as murder. However, by the time of the Roman Empire, the death penalty was no longer carried out for the crime of adultery. And this is primarily due to the fact that the empire reserved for itself the exclusive right to execute a death penalty. And to the Romans, they did not grant that adultery was a capital offense. And so they did not allow the death penalty for adultery. And in its place, divorce became the natural solution among the Jews for the sin of adultery. In essence, divorce took the place of the death penalty. And so divorce functionally killed the marriage, allowing a man or woman to be remarried. This was the whole purpose of the certificate in Deuteronomy 24. A divorce justified by Scripture granted permission to remarry. And Jesus does not dispute this application of the divorce principle either. He condemns illegitimate divorce as a sin, but he does not call for a reinstatement of the death penalty for adultery. Divorce is indeed the appropriate penalty For adultery, for anyone who lives outside of the ancient theocratic state of Israel. It's the appropriate response and appropriate response to adultery to Americans living today. We shouldn't cry for the death penalty. But let's go back to talking about Deuteronomy 24. You'll also notice that this Deuteronomy 24 passage is not really talking about the problem of adultery per se. It's not even talking about the right process for getting a divorce per se. The problem precipitating divorce here is some indecency in the ESV. In the NIV, it's sexual immorality. It's literally the word nakedness, which would be the idea of shame. You find some shame in her. And with many commentators, I think this indecency centers on the discovery that a man's wife was unfaithful or promiscuous before her marriage. This is what Joseph suspected Mary of because she was pregnant. And he resolved to send her away with a written certificate of divorce before the angels spoke to him. Likewise, the concern of this law of Moses was to protect the rights of a woman who was so tarnished. Maybe she was raped. Maybe she had a youthful indiscretion, a relationship that went so far. The husband is not able to take that. But this law is written to protect her. This is the grace and mercy of God in the law of Moses for sinners. A woman could not just be cast off or shuttered away if her husband objected to her. She had to be given a certificate of divorce that would allow her to remarry if another man would have her. Likewise, the first husband couldn't take her back into his home if she found herself single again or widowed. The divorce certificate effectively killed the first marriage and you couldn't go backwards. This meant that divorce could not be used as a loophole for wife swapping. A non-virgin woman could marry and remarry, but could not be passed around. This was a protection for her. And again, The Pharisees did not see this emphasis in this passage. They did not see here a desire to protect women. They took it as teaching the process for how to get a divorce from your wife if you don't like her. Indeed, they were more concerned about doing things decently and in good order than they were doing good and decent things. There's a word in here for us. There are things that are more important than due process. Yes, due process is important. And you shouldn't throw it away because due process is a protection itself against abuses. But you can use due process in a way that hardens your heart to the needs of the people the process is supposed to protect. You can be heartless and cruel when you do things by the book. Process and precedent, therefore, are no substitute for compassion. This means that we must operate by first principles over process. This is where Jesus takes us. Second point. Jesus states that observing the right divorce process does not free you from the charge of adultery. Pursuing divorce the right way does not free you from the sin of adultery. Jesus begins with the negative here. He wants you and me to see that God takes divorce seriously. God takes adultery seriously. You can't get around adultery by pursuing divorce in the technically correct way. Listen to what he says again. It was also said, whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce. But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery. And whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. Now, let's compare this with what Jesus says in Matthew 19. Turn there with me. Matthew 19, verses three through nine. And the Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause? He answered, have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female? And said, therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate. They said to him, Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away? He said to them, Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife except for sexual immorality and marries another commits adultery. Again, notice here that so where the Pharisees focused on the due process, the right process for divorce, and on the physical certificate, Jesus focuses on the due cause for divorce, the right grounds of divorce. Now, it should be said as well that in a similar manner to how Jesus spoke when he addressed the sin of lust, he speaks here in hyperbolic, concrete terms there he said if your hand causes you to sin cut it off and throw it away here he says everyone who divorces his wife except on the ground of sexual immorality makes her commit adultery and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery now on the surface of things This passage would seem to suggest that adultery is the only biblical ground of divorce, or at least for remarriage after divorce. But that's not actually what the Bible teaches. Jesus is speaking in extremes and hyperbole here. How do I know that? 1 Corinthians 7, 12-15 says this, Paul writes, And if any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases, the brother or sister is not enslaved, God has called you to peace. This means that if your unbelieving spouse abandons you and separates themselves from you, you are not trapped on one side of a marriage that you can't get out of. This means that divorce is justified in this case. Consequently, our Confession of Faith, the Westminster Confession of Faith states, although the corruption of man be such as is apt to study arguments unduly to put asunder those whom God has joined together in marriage, yet nothing but adultery or such willful desertion as can no way be remedied by the church or civil magistrate is cause sufficient for dissolving the bond of marriage. Thus, we believe that there are two fundamental grounds for divorce revealed in Scripture. These are adultery and abandonment. Adultery and abandonment, not just adultery. In either case, remarriage is permissible because a biblically justified divorce, by definition, allows for remarriage. It's absurd to think, and nothing in scripture would lead us to believe, that God might call a divorce justified, but then not allow the person to get remarried. If the former marriage is truly ended in God's eyes, because of adultery or abandonment, if that marriage is truly over, then there's nothing to claim or hold the spouse, the victim, from getting remarried. Nothing. Remarriage is permitted when a divorce is biblically justified. And understand, we're not playing fast and loose with Jesus here, nor Paul and Jesus at odds with one another. First, both Paul and Jesus clearly teach that Christians should never approach divorce casually. That's the main idea. No Christian should ever pursue divorce without sufficient cause. You need serious grounds as a Christian in order to get divorced, grounds that strike at the core of what marriage is. And this is because God's original intention has always been for marriage to be a lifelong monogamous union of a husband and wife that is permanent, intimate, and Christ-honoring. Paul and Jesus both referenced the original marriage of Adam and Eve. and their becoming one flesh is at the center of what marriage is all about. We cannot understand the right grounds of divorce, therefore, unless we understand this permanent, covenantal, one flesh nature of marriage itself. Second, both are in agreement that while divorce is permitted in certain cases, it is far from optimal. What is optimal for the Christian is repentance, reconciliation, and restoration. In a troubled marriage, even a marriage troubled by actual adultery, the optimal solution is repentance, reconciliation, and restoration. However, because of our hardness of heart, we have the option of divorce in certain limited situations. This hardness of heart could be the hardness of the offender who has violated the marriage, who is hard and refuses to repent from their sin. It could also be the hardness of the victim who's unable to forgive. Scripture commands us to forgive, but in certain flagrant sins against us, we find it impossible to forgive somebody. We find it impossible to reconcile because of our hardness of heart. And in that situation, divorce is a concession to our inability to forgive or work through something. It's not the optimal, it's not the ideal, it is allowed. That's what Jesus is teaching. Because of your hardness of heart, scripture allows this. Now, let's bring this back to the matter of first principles. Because Jesus is teaching us that it is sin, it is fundamentally adultery, to break up a marriage that is otherwise intact. That's the main point. If adultery or abandonment has not taken place, then in God's eyes, the marriage is still intact. You can't just break it up at will. For this reason, if you divorce your spouse without sufficient biblical grounds, not only are you in sin, which you are, but you're actually causing your spouse to commit adultery. And this places on you an even greater burden of guilt. Listen to what Jesus says in Matthew 18, verses six and seven. Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and be drowned in the depth of the sea. Woe to the world for temptations to sin. For it is necessary that temptations come, but woe to the one by whom the temptation comes. Folks, this not only includes your spouse, it also includes your kids. How might your adultery, how might your heartlessness and unbiblical divorce lead your own children into sin? You are liable not only for your adulterous behavior, you're liable for destroying your family by your adulterous behavior. You're liable for breaking the hearts of your kids by your adulterous behavior. You will be judged not just for the sinful path you choose to take for yourself, but the sinful path you put your kids on by your selfishness. Be afraid. Be in awe. Sin is not something to take lightly. Likewise, if you're considering marrying a divorced person, it should matter to you, as a Christian, whether or not their divorce was biblically justified. Because if it was not, then if you marry a person who was unbiblically unjustified in their divorce, then you're committing adultery with them if you marry them. That's what Jesus says. Why is that? Because in God's eyes, the marriage is still in force, even if the couple doesn't think they're married, and even if the law doesn't think they're married. What matters is what's in God's eyes. What matters most is what God sees. And if you marry a divorcee who has no right to be divorced, you'll be counted an adulterer in God's eyes. However, if adultery has been committed or the spouse has been abandoned, then that marriage is, in God's eyes, already divorced. The act of adultery itself kills the marriage. The act of abandonment itself destroys the family. The offending spouse has already violated the marital union and destroyed what God brought together in one flesh. So as Knox Chamberlain writes, the formal divorce simply acknowledges that a divorce has already occurred. And R.T. France notes, the termination of a marriage already destroyed by the act of adultery is thus not so much a divorce as the necessary recognition that the original marriage no longer exists, that a new one-flesh union has overturned the old. It brings us to the final applications and conclusion. Now, with a sermon like this one, there are naturally going to be a lot of questions, and I'm not going to be able to answer all of them without taking us well past our Father's Day lunch. You can ask me later. You can ask anybody that you respect their opinion about the Bible later about these things. But I do need to address the two big elephants in the room. We'll call them the pink elephant and the blue elephant, because of Dumbo, I guess. First, given the state of divorce in our society, given the state of divorce in our society, the main application of the passage is this. No Christian should ever pursue a no-fault divorce. No Christian should ever pursue a no-fault divorce. No-fault divorces are biblically unjustifiable. If there are no grounds for the divorce, if there's no fault in the divorce, there's no excuse for the divorce. In a similar vein, irreconcilable differences aren't any better. All irreconcilable differences means is that you're two stubborn people who refuse to work through things. You find it easier to give up and walk away. Being a stubborn jerk is not a biblically justified grounds for divorce. Whether because you're a stubborn jerk or your spouse is. In God's eyes, both irreconcilable differences and no fault divorces are nothing more than mutually agreed upon adultery. We're gonna go our separate ways so we can do our own things and try again with somebody else. Second, if you find yourself in the aftermath of an unbiblical divorce, whether that's one that you initiated, maybe you realized this morning that you pursued and obtained a divorce that was unjustified, or maybe you're the victim of a divorce that's unjustified. You didn't want a divorce, but you had no choice after a while but to sign on the dotted line and agree to one. Well, what of you? I have words of hope. As with all sin, there is more grace in the Lord Jesus Christ than there is sin in you. There's more grace in the Lord Jesus Christ than there is sin in you. And the blood of the Lord Jesus washes away all your past transgressions. So even this day, if you're like, you know what? I really screwed up there. I sinned. If you bring that to Jesus, He forgives you completely today. It's good. It's healthy. It's needed for you to recognize that you were in the wrong. And when you do, he separates your sins from you as far as the East is from the West. He does. These sorts of convicting sermons aren't for you to feel bad about yourself forever, or to beat yourself up because you screwed up, you messed up. It's to confess, God, what you say is true, is true of me. And I give that to you. I acknowledge that and I ask for your forgiveness. And from this day forward, I pray that you would help me to honor your principles for marriage or your principles for singleness from this day forward. You can't undo the past. You can't undo the past and Christ doesn't ask you to. This is especially the case if you're remarried after a divorce. Jesus doesn't ask you, hey, you screwed up, you got an unbiblical marriage, you need to go back, remarry that person, right? Divorce your current spouse if you're remarried and go, two wrongs don't make a right. Christ calls you to begin today with where you are today and the relationship you are in today to move in holiness and faithfulness and obedience from this day forward. You can't undo the past. You can just admit it, confess it, ask for forgiveness, reconcile with relationships if you need to, and move forward. I want you to hear again the words of 1 Corinthians 7.15, God has called you to peace. You are not trapped. God has called you to peace. Likewise, if you realize that you are the victim of an unjustified divorce, God has called you to peace. If your ex is remarried and you're single, which they likely have, or they're at least cohabitating with someone, then they've already committed adultery in God's eyes. Even if the divorce was initiated with unjustified grounds, if you're the victim of a divorce that you didn't pursue, I can almost guarantee you your spouse is living in sin somewhere that has given you grounds today for remarriage. God doesn't desire to trap you between a sin that was committed against you and the requirements of His Word. You aren't doomed to a life of singleness and loneliness simply because your former spouse was a jerk. God calls you to peace, and that includes wholeness. And to the rest, I say, consider divorce off the table. Whether you're single, looking to get married, or currently married, divorce is off the table. Never rush to divorce your spouse any more than you should rush to adultery. You should labor with blood, sweat, and tears to build your marriages around Christ-centered intimacy and love. You should pursue a lifestyle of repentance in your marriage, of reconciliation in your marriage, of always rebuilding trust and communication in your marriage. You should root yourselves in Christ, growing fruitful by His nourishing grace. A godly growing marriage is a wonderful, glorious thing, and it is a testimony to the world that doesn't know what healthy marriage looks like, of the gospel of Jesus Christ, and the power of the Spirit to raise and build up people in homes that really are happy. Not perfect, not without sin, not without elements of brokenness. but they're really happy and joyful and healthy. It's a testimony to the world, not just in the present, but for generations. If you are committed to a godly Christian marriage that operates by the principles of repentance and reconciliation and restoration, then you are establishing a testimony through your children and your grandchildren and your great-grandchildren to the grace and power of the Lord Jesus Christ to make things healthy and whole. Don't throw all that away just because you're weary or stubborn or brokenhearted or lustful. Thank you for listening to this sermon from River Community Church in Prairieville, Louisiana, where you will always find biblical preaching, meaningful worship, and the equipping of disciples. For more information on River Community Church and its ministries, please visit rivercommunity.org.