I've entitled my sermon this morning, What About Divorce and Remarriage? This is now the seventh sermon in our ongoing God, Church, and Family series. Last week we considered divorce and adultery by specifically looking at Matthew 19 where the Pharisees asked whether it was lawful to divorce one's wife or any cause. Look, one of the reasons that I entitled this series, God, Church, and Family, is because the way we live in family, the way we function in our families, if you read your New Testament right, God calls us to live in the context of a community of believers. And so, as we're going to see eventually when we get to Ephesians, we have a responsibility God may have given me a gift that I am supposed to use to equip you so that you can in turn build up one another. And there's this objective we're aiming for. It is the fullness of the stature of Jesus Christ. Christlikeness is the objective. And how do we get there? Well, in Ephesians 4 it says speaking the truth in love. And so what happens is we are seeking to get to a place of spiritual maturity. And that spiritual maturity has tons to do with our life in family. Why? Because you're living in the context of family or in the context of your singleness all the time. And we come together and we meet together. And we come as families. And we have families. And some of you, your families are somewhat torn apart because you're married to unbelievers. And the thing is that we are to seek, to strive, to build up one another in our objective of Christlikeness right in the middle of all this. And I know our church is much like Corinth. Such were some of you. We come out of all sorts of backgrounds. We've got people here from homosexual backgrounds, pornography addiction, fornication, adultery. Listen. It is not a mystery that we are in a church that is comprised of many people who, when they were lost, messed up the marriage thing really bad. We've got people here that are divorced. We've got people here that are on their second marriages, maybe third marriages. This is not a mystery. And what we have to do is figure out how in the world, speaking truth in love, how do we get to the place where we're able to nurture one another, build up one another, to see this whole body built up, but we need to speak the truth in love. And both aspects are there. We've got to deal with truth on the one hand, and we've got to deal with love on the other hand. And so how do I love my brothers and sisters I mean, even though they may have messed up bad in the past, how do I direct them? How do I point them now? How do we seek to achieve that? Listen folks, people that committed adultery, people that divorced for all the wrong reasons when they were lost and they're saved now, they're not somehow second class Christians. And we don't need to look at it that way. That is not how we grow together. There needs to be a loving aspect in this, but we need to figure it out. But I'll tell you this, brethren, in the course of figuring that out, we don't want to compromise truth. And laying down the standard may feel a little uncomfortable, right? If we're laying down what Christ really emphasizes in the standard, and how he really sets up marriage as a sacred thing. To some of us, it's going to feel a little uncomfortable because you did mess this thing up. Because you have not kept to the standard. Well, I'm not emphasizing this to somehow make those of you that fall into that category feel second rate or second class. That's not the case. But brethren, as we're seeking to minister to one another, one thing we certainly don't want to do is compromise truth, right? And look, if Jesus lays down a standard, we need to emphasize that standard. And then we need to figure out, okay, in light of such standards, where do we go from there? How do we encourage one another? How do we direct one another? In the weeks ahead, I plan to work through 1 Corinthians 7. And because the Corinthians, Brethren, in reality, the Corinthians looked a whole lot like us. And they came to Paul apparently from 1 Corinthians 7 because of the way he is talking there. He's obviously answering questions they've submitted to him. Well, that's what I want to do. After today, we're going to consider a number of questions. Basically, we're going to look at 1 Corinthians 7 and we're going to try to anticipate come to some conclusions about what question was obviously asked by the answer that Paul gives. And if there are some very relevant questions that yet need to be asked after we look at Paul's answers, then we'll look at those and we'll try to answer those as well as biblically and soundly as we possibly can. But, Matthew 19. Pharisees ask, is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause? You would all admit, brethren, Jesus' answer is not difficult to understand. Nothing unclear about His reply. Look there in v. 4. "'Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female and said, therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife and the two shall become one?' So there are no longer two, but one flesh. what therefore God has joined together. Let not man separate." Brethren, do you see that last little phrase? Let not man separate. The mood of the word is imperative. Jesus is giving us a commandment here. The Creator's design is clear. One woman for one man. The man is to hold fast to his wife. This is the law of marriage established by God in the beginning. That is unquestionable. The Lord declares that marriage between husband and wife is sacred. And by sacred, I mean it's a holy thing. It's a set-apart thing. It's a special thing. Marriage doesn't just happen by man's commandment or by man's will. We clearly see Jesus is saying this is of divine origin and this is of divine constitution. Basically, God is the one that is joining. There is a divine yoking here. More than simply a human agreement. Marriage is established by the authority of God. And because it is, Jesus isn't messing around. He gives us the plain, clear, bold, unmistakable commandment, what therefore God has joined together, let not man separate. Brethren, that needs to be the view of this church. We need to take that to heart. No matter how much people have failed, no matter how much people come in here You know, undoubtedly, God is going to save more people and bring more people to this church that are in all sorts of messed up situations. But I'll tell you, as we're trying to love those folks, and as we're trying to give them some clarity, some direction, point them in a way that's pleasing to God, one thing we don't want to do is turn away from that truth. That is truth, brethren. That is the standard. That is the law of marriage established by God in the beginning. So brethren, we want these words to ring through this church. God means for there to be no going back once you say, I do. He means marriage to be for life. This isn't like signing some cell phone contract where a year later you go for the better deal. That's how the world deals with marriage. And brethren, realistically, that's how a lot of us dealt with it before we were saved. But brethren, we're not called to be like we were when we were unsaved. And we're not called to be like the world. This is the standard. I mean, we are people that are striving to please Him. And look, would you all say this? If Jesus Christ gives this as the standard, and He gives that commandment, what God joins together, let not man separate, you and I would have to agree that if we have a man and we have a woman in a marriage who are We are dedicated to following Christ and to doing what pleases Him. Then, divorce is never an option. You agree with that, right? Absolutely. That needs to be the standard held by this church. Brethren, among us, it is not an option. And I realize some of you made it an option in the past. But I'm saying, look, we can't undo the past. but we can stand on these truths now. Now what that means, and when we repent of our past, what that means and where that leads us and what we need to do now, well, there's a number of questions that probably have to be answered with regards to that that we'll deal with in the weeks to come, but we don't ever want to pull back from this reality. And let me tell you this, no matter what your past is, No matter what view you have on divorce and remarriage, I'll tell you three things that are absolutely true about every single divorce, and you can't argue it. You simply can't argue it. Every divorce is contrary to the way God created marriage in the beginning. You agree, right? That's not even debatable. The second thing we would say, every divorce involves sin on the part of one or both spouses. You would all agree with that, right? Because divorce is something clearly that God doesn't want to have happen. And so if it is happening, that means one of the two or both of the spouses are in sin when it happens. That can't be argued. The third thing that can't be argued is every single divorce is a tearing apart of what God has put together. Right? That can't be argued. So where we find ourselves at today, and the question I would have us consider this morning is this. Since divorce is definitely a departure from God's plainly revealed will for marriage, since divorce always is a separating of what God has joined together, since every divorce involves sin to one degree or another of one or both spouses involved, the question that we need to have answered is this, even though those things are true, Does God ever permit divorce and remarriage? Now somebody might come along and say, well, wait a second, if those things are true, obviously not. But wait a second, what about in a situation where you happen to be the party that isn't guilty of forcing the divorce? And the separating of what God has joined together was not your will. It was not your desire. And the sin was really on the part of the other. And even though that model that was set down back at the beginning is not being followed, you wanted it to be followed. I mean, I think we need to ask that question then. Does God ever permit divorce and remarriage? And of course, here in Matthew 19 especially, that's a very feasible question. That's a very pertinent question to what Jesus says here. Brethren, this is radically practical and important. And I might say besides being radically controversial, Of course, our answer to this question needs to be not what makes us feel best. But we need an answer that is thoroughly biblical. And actually, this kind of comes down to two questions, doesn't it? We can ask the question, is it ever permissible to divorce and remarry? But what we might rather break it down even further, is it ever permissible to divorce? And then a second question. Once that divorce takes place, is it ever permissible to remarry? It really is two issues. And there are those out there that would definitely make the case that both of them need to be answered separately. So, let's ask both of those. Now, brethren, typically when I preach, I'm not about setting before you all sorts of varied positions on things. I seek to look at the Word and I seek to establish what God's Word says and teach it to you. But I do think that when it comes to this matter, because I know right here in this very room we have some varying opinions about this, I think it is in our best interest to talk about the varying responses to this. And look, there's two questions. One question can be yes and no, and the second question can be yes and no. So how many different possibilities does that leave us with? It leaves us with three. I mean, you can basically have a yes and a yes. Well, it leaves us with possibly more, but you have three main positions. The permanence view, which I'm using that phrase because guys that believe this way use that phrase. An example of this would be Vody Bauckham. The permanence view basically says there is never a legitimate circumstance for divorce and there is never a legitimate circumstance for remarriage except death. Of course, if there's death, there's not divorce. But the only acceptable course for remarriage is upon the death of your previous spouse. The second would be the semi-permanence view which is held by John Piper. He would say divorce is allowable, but remarriage is not. Never under any circumstances except for the death of the spouse. And then you have what men in those camps may be titled the permissive. There is permission given in an exception. There is an exception clause to all this that basically says yes, divorce and remarriage is allowed in some very limited circumstances. I'll tell you right up front, That is the position I hold. That is the position men like D.A. Carson hold, John MacArthur hold. Brethren, I want to stress something. I didn't tell you what Benny Hinn's position was or Kenneth Copeland's. I told you what the views were of men that we highly esteem. that we expect to walk in glory with. These men are dedicated to Christ, to His Word, to His flock. They love God's people. They are men of conviction. I'm not talking about false prophets. I'm not talking about those that we would put in an unorthodox camp. These men are reformed. They're evangelical. They're orthodox. And let me ask you just this basic question. when you get good men of good sound mind who differ on really substantial issues like this, what does that typically tell you? It tells you that there are some things about this topic that are somewhat ambiguous. You know what ambiguous means? It's just not clear. It's not real, direct. There are things about this that tend to cause men to struggle, cause men to question. There are difficulties with regards to it. That's how you end up with good men varying on a subject that is so... Brethren, we have to admit, this is a really important subject. And for men to differ like that, it means that there's some difficulties. And so, look, the reason I stress that right off is brethren, you know what? This is a matter. If you come to me and you tell me, brother, I hold the permanence view, guess what? I'm not going to fight you. Because in my estimation, The higher we regard marriage here, the better. I hold this view because I believe it's the biblical view. If you by conviction hold a standard that is not the same as the one I hold to, I'm not going to fight you. Brethren, but I don't expect those of you that hold other views. You know what happens a lot of times? The people with the permanence or the semi-permanence view, they tend to be judgmental and critical of others who don't hold their view. Brethren, there will be no toleration for that here. When good men differ on a subject like this, it's because there are genuine difficulties. And if a person by conviction upon studying the Scriptures has come to a position that is not exactly the same as yours, I expect that you will be nothing but gracious. Let me tell you something. Over there in Matthew 5, where really a parallel statement to what we find in Matthew 19 is stated in the Sermon on the Mount, just verses before that, one of the characteristics, one of the things is Christ says right there in context, Your righteousness better exceed that of the Pharisees." And right before that, he gives the Beatitudes. He talks about, blessed are the poor in spirit, blessed are the meek. Brethren, one of the things in whatever position of marriage that you hold to, we need to be a church that is dealing graciously with one another. Do you know what? I have found in the 20 years of my Christian life, those that are harshest with others, those that are most caustic with others, those that are most self-righteous towards others, if they're truly God's children, God allows them to fall in such a horrible and drastic way that He will bring them to the place where they will not be that way anymore. He will bring such trial on their life for all their criticisms and critical spirit. And He will break them in such a substantial manner as to close their mouth in that critical sense. So brethren, be very careful here. And I'll just say this on that note. Several years back, Kyle White and I, we attended Passers Conference up at John Piper's church. Of course, John Piper holds that semi-permanent view. They had a woman in that church who her and her husband went off to Vietnam as missionaries. She was there in a cell group that I attended when I was up there. We stayed for the Sunday services and on Sunday afternoon we went to the cell group. This woman was sitting there. She and her husband had gone as missionaries to Vietnam. He ended up running off with Vietnamese prostitutes, marrying a Vietnamese woman. He was disciplined out of the church. She came home and she went through counseling with Piper. We were with this woman ten years later. And she wept and she wept and she wept telling us the story. This thing was so fresh. You know what I realized? There was something in me that says, I wish she had been counseled from my view. Because I believe this woman has biblical liberty to remarry. But you know, as I thought about John Piper and counseling with her, I didn't feel any resentment, I didn't feel any bitterness, because I saw this woman weeping, and I saw John Piper in that counseling session with this woman, with her weeping that way and him weeping with her. Brethren, you hold to that kind of view in that kind of situation because you're a man of conviction. And I think this is one of those areas, brethren, I want you all to be people of conviction on this thing. I want you to hold to your convictions. But I just tell you that I know these pastors. They're not just loosely and flippantly coming to these positions. And I can tell you this right up front. I hear these permanence guys. The guys that say there's never cause for divorce and or remarriage. I hear their arguments. And some of their arguments have a lot of weight. They bear listening to. I see why they come to their positions. I don't think they're the right position, but I see why they come to them and I feel the weight of their arguments. Brethren, I have great respect for those positions. But I think in my estimation, making an allowance in certain exceptions seems to be the right view biblically. Brethren, I know it's also the easiest position of the three to hold. What I mean by that is when you're counseling with people, obviously, it tends to pastorally be the easier position. But I don't hold to it because it's easier. Brethren, I'll tell you, if I was convinced that we had to say to every person in this building that has been divorced under wrong circumstances, or if all divorce and remarriage is wrong, and I had to go to every one of those people in this church that was remarried and tell them, it's the will of God. I can show you from God's Word, it's the will of God for you to go back to your first wife or your first husband. If that was what Scripture said, and I believe that, and by conviction, brethren, we would move as a church to make certain that all that happens. So, the greatest biblical argument I can bring forth to support the view that divorce and remarriage is found in Matthew 19, v. 9. Let's read v. 7-9 together. They said to him after he referred Genesis 1.27 and Genesis 2.24, why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away? He said to them, because of your hardness of heart, Moses allowed you to divorce your wives. But from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife except for sexual immorality and marries another commits adultery. Now, brethren, halfway through v. 9, you all see that word except, right? Whatever translation you use, The word accept is there. It's in all of them. At least, all the main ones. The word is there in the English for a very straightforward reason. Because it's there in the Greek. It just simply cannot be argued. And no one denies that. The word is there. No matter what view anybody holds on divorce, nobody denies that that word is there. No one denies that Jesus is making an exception. You may be thinking, well, that's plain enough. He says except for sexual immorality. Case closed. If Jesus makes an exception, then there's an exception. Period. End of debate. Right? Well, it's not that easy. The reason it's not that easy is because if you now turn over in your Bibles to Mark 10, We'll pick up reading in verse 2. This exact account that Matthew records for us in Matthew 19, the exact account is recorded for us in Mark 10. And Pharisees came up and in order to test him asked, so there you have it, Pharisees again, just like in Matthew 19, they're testing him, just like Matthew 19, is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife? Just like Matthew 19, except he doesn't add for every cause on the end. He answered them, what did Moses command you? Just like he did over there, they said, There obviously are some minor differences here to the way He's dealing with them, but it's obviously the same account. They said, Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce and to send her away. And Jesus said to them, because of your hardness of heart He wrote you this commandment. From the beginning of creation God made them male and female. Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife. The two shall become one flesh, so they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate." And in the house, the disciples ask Him again about this matter. And He said to them, whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery. I think you can all see we have a problem right away, right? Namely what? No exception. Clearly, this is, I mean, nobody, well, there's probably somebody, but there's always somebody that has some deviant view or alternate view on everything, but folks. there really aren't credible folks out there that are saying that Matthew 10 is a different account than Matthew 19. Everybody is pretty much in agree because Mark and Matthew are so alike and so many of the same accounts are recorded in both. But we see, even if it's not the same account, the fact is there's still no exception there. So I mean, theologically, whether it's the same account or not, the same case is made, right? No exception. Of course, look, those of us that are familiar with our Bibles at all, we know right away there are differences between the different Gospels. Right? I mean, you get a certain scenario in one account, you go over and look at the same account. Like, take the Gadarene maniac. Or the man that was full of the legion. You guys know Mark and Matthew have a pretty main difference in their account, right? Listen to this. Don't turn there, but in Matthew 8.28, when He, Jesus, came to the other side to the country of the Gadarenes, two demon-possessed men met Him coming out of the tombs. So fierce that no one could pass that way. Whereas Mark expresses this exact same account like this. They came to the other side in Mark 5, verses 1 and 2. They came to the other side of the sea to the country of the Gerasenes and when Jesus had stepped out of the boat, immediately there met him out of the tombs a man with an unclean spirit." You obviously see there's a variation there. Brethren, it's not a contradiction. It's simply a variation. It simply means one writer observes certain facts and another writer observes different. It's a perspective issue. I mean, look, when there's two men, to say there's one man is not a contradiction. To say there's only one man is a contradiction. But just to say there's a man that met us, that's just... So, we understand that those kind of differences exist, right? Well, in the same way, Mark doesn't give us the fullness of detail that Matthew gives us concerning Jesus' encounter with the Pharisees over divorce and remarriage. Matthew gives us the exception clause except for sexual immorality. Mark leaves it out. But brethren, isn't that sort of unsettling? Because you look at it and you say, hey, that's one thing to say there's two men versus one man. But when it comes to something such as divorce, you would think certainly if there's an exception, that he would have said something. I mean, isn't that important? That's not kind of a negligible, irrelevant thing. If there's an exception, there's an exception. Why in the world wouldn't he say it? And of course, what the guys like Vody Baucom and John Piper, again, I say, men who I highly respect, what men like that do is they come along and they say, ah, this is very significant. What this means is that there must be some meaning in the exception clause that is very specific and applicable to the audience that Matthew would have been speaking to. And Matthew, it is pretty much agreed on, at least initially, his audience was Jewish. And you know, that's true. We're not going to argue that. Whereas Mark, maybe his audience was more Gentile in nature. And so what they do is they basically come up with this betrothal argument. And they say because the Jews had betrothal, And because Joseph was going to divorce Mary during that betrothal season, that's what the exception means. And we see that in Matthew 1. Joseph was betrothed to Mary and when he found that she was pregnant and knew it wasn't his own child, He was going to divorce her. So we see clearly divorce was required where there was betrothal. And although I can't prove it and I'm no historian on the matter, my understanding is betrothal was more of a Jewish custom than it was a Gentile custom. And so, you not only have the fact that Matthew is being addressed maybe primarily to Jews, initially anyways, and that the statement was made there about Joseph, so they conclude that this is speaking about betrothal. Nobody argues there's an exception clause. But these guys would say the exception applies to a guy like Joseph who if he would have gone forward during the betrothal time and divorced Mary, he would have had liberty to remarry. I see one major flaw with that thinking. Do you know what it is? Matthew 19 doesn't have anything to do with betrothal. And if you doubt that, all we have to do is take a very quick look at the text. It doesn't even allow for that. Brethren, let me tell you right up front. A woman who was betrothed to a man was not called the man's wife. In fact, when the angel comes to Joseph, he says, Joseph, don't fear to take her as your wife. They were already betrothed. He's saying, go ahead. and fully enter into the marriage. He doesn't say, well, I recognize you're already married to her and it's okay. He says don't fear to take her as your wife. A betrothed woman is not a wife. Even though divorce is required, she is not designated as a wife. And if you look at the context of Matthew 19, you can see that Brethren, let me tell you this. When Jesus makes an appeal to Genesis and He says that the two are one flesh, that does not speak about betrothal. You know how I know that? In 1 Corinthians 6, Paul specifically says the two becoming one has to do with sexual union. In the betrothal state, there has been no sexual union. Now even though in 1 Corinthians 6 he's speaking about a prostitute, nevertheless, he's saying when sexual intercourse is had, the two become one. referring to Genesis 2.24. He's directly referring to that text. And so when Jesus refers to it, clearly the two becoming one, Paul shows us, has to do with a marriage that is totally consummated. He's not talking betrothal. And by the way, the Pharisees were not concerned with betrothal. When the Pharisees said, did not Moses say, They were specifically referring to Deuteronomy 24. Brethren, you go back and read Deuteronomy 24 verses 1-4. It has nothing to do with betrothal. It has everything to do with a man who divorces his wife, and then the wife goes and marries a second man, and then that man either divorces her or dies. It's not about betrothal at all. It is certainly about full and full-blown marriage. Deuteronomy 24.1 starts when a man takes a wife and marries her. It's pretty plain. She's a wife. He's married to her. By the way, I emphasize again, nowhere is a betrothed woman called a wife. So this is what Jesus is dealing with. And then when you get to Jesus' final response there, Matthew 19, 8 and 9, because of your hardness of heart, Moses allowed you to divorce your wives. That is not terminology used for betrothal. But from the beginning, it was not so. In the beginning, that wasn't about betrothal. It was about marriage. It was about two becoming one, which includes that sexual consummation. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, again, not betrothed lady, it's an actual full-blown wife except for sexual immorality and marries another, commits adultery. Here's what I would say to you. Brethren, you know what? Hermeneutics. That is a fancy word that basically means Bible interpretation. Do you know what you never want to do? You never, never, never, never, never, ever want to not hear what one verse says by basically so filling your head full of all sorts of ideas about parallel verses, parallel text, or your own logic that you don't hear the text in question. That can happen. People get so involved. Sometimes it can be a contextual thing. Sometimes people become so involved with context that they miss the meaning of a single verse. Or they become so involved with parallel accounts in other books that they miss the meaning of the account in the book they're looking at. Brethren, we don't want to do that. Look, you don't want silence on Mark's part to create a situation where you undo what is plainly being said in Matthew 19. That is bad hermeneutics, folks. That is bad. We do not want to treat our Bibles that way. Arguing from silence is a dangerous argument. Especially when you have other verses that do speak to the matter. We don't want to ignore the actual meaning of a text. And clearly the immediate account in Matthew 19 does not concern betrothal. Brethren, you can't. It just doesn't. It doesn't. It concerns full-blown marriage. I just don't simply know how that can be argued. Everything about these verses points not to betrothal, but to a man with a fully, substantially, two becoming one, God joined together marriage. But now let's look at Matthew 19.9 specifically where we see the exception. I say to you, whoever divorces his wife except for sexual immorality and marries another commits adultery. Now some have said this allows for divorce for sexual immorality but not remarriage. Brethren, let me tell you something. That doesn't fly in light of the language used here. Can I tell you this? John Piper and Vody Baucom, who actually hold the other views, they understand the languages. And you know what? Neither of them argues that this is allowing for remarriage. Neither of them argue that. But they both would say it allows for remarriage where the divorce was a divorce of a betrothed woman. They both recognize syntactically, I mean, the way the words are constructed here in the Greek, it is an exception that covers the entire sentence. It is not simply limited to divorce. They are so certain of that that they cannot take the position. They do not take the position that it is only the divorce that is accepted here. They realize it is the divorce and remarriage that stand on the same plane. Because that is assumed all the way through here. The assumption is if the divorce takes place, remarriage is going to happen. That is the assumption in Deuteronomy 24. That's the assumption that the Pharisees are making. And that's the assumption upon which Jesus is arguing. And even these other guys with these other positions don't argue that. They simply don't. D.A. Carson on this said that he's the one that said syntactically the Greek doesn't allow this. That guy knows his Greek far better than I do. And he said in fact he knows a scholar, I don't know if he's a friend of his, but he's somebody he knows, that tried to take that position And over the course of time, he himself had to abandon his own position because he realized the text. Brethren, if you read it, it says what it says. And clearly remarriage is right there. It's right in the flow. You have and remarries. He clearly is not saying that whosoever divorces his wife except for the case of sexual immorality, that's okay, but if he remarries, that's adultery. That's not how he says it. Clearly the way it flows, clearly if you and I spoke to one another using those types of words, the basic and surface meaning there is that it's allowing for both in such a way that adultery is not the final and conclusive end in the matter. And so, like I say, the other guys that hold the other positions don't even argue that way because they realize that the Greek structure there doesn't allow that. What they argue for is no, rather they fight for the betrothal issue, which I say contextually that's not even brought in. Christ doesn't say except in the case of betrothal, that's not even an issue. So, here we are. We're about ready to wrap up, but I would just say this. I want to bring out three points of application as we close. I realize there's still a whole number of unanswered questions in your minds. The reason I'm thinking it's so important to lay this down is because I know we have to live together. We have to function together. We have to counsel one another. We have to seek to help one another grow. I realize we can get to a place in a church where we can have tensions over a situation like this. We can have conflict over a situation like this with various views. We can have expressions of self-righteousness and judging of others over situations like this. And I'm just wanting to show, brethren, by the way, Vody Baucom and John Piper would both admit that not just in the full-blown context of overall Christianity, but even in the circles of those that are reformed and believe like we do, they hold vastly the minority position. Most people come to the same conclusion I come to. And I think the reason is because the text lends itself for that. I think that's why the majority take it because it is the most viable position. But in saying that, brethren, I'll say this. Why do you think Mark and Luke did leave the exception out? Brethren, I'll tell you this. The fact they did ought to tell you something about the place of significance God gives to the exception. You see what I'm saying? Obviously, Mark and Luke under inspiration left it out. Which means God in His eternal purposes did not see that it was so vastly important that it be emphasized there. You know what that tells me? That tells me that God puts a much higher standard on you respecting His creation ordinance with regards to marriage than you finding a loophole for a way out of it. It certainly tells me that. Listen, brethren, there were no doubt some people in the early churches that would have only seen Luke or Mark's Gospel. You say, wow, you know, something so important. I'm saying maybe it's not so important as we often make it out to be. I'm saying what God is definitely telling us is the sanctity of marriage is more important than any exceptions we might find. So, brethren, The Lord wants us to highly esteem marriage. Brethren, marriage is honorable. The marriage bed is honorable. Keep your marriage vows. Keeping those marriage vows when things are hard is honorable. Brethren, what this tells us, it ought to tell us, God would have us in this church fight for every single marriage. to maintain it, to keep it, to nurture it. Absolutely. The second thing that I would have you to notice is Jesus. His exception in Matthew 19.9 is not a commandment. It is allowance. It is permissive. But it is not a commandment. He says that if a man divorces his wife for sexual immorality and marries another, it is permissible under those circumstances without committing adultery. But Jesus certainly is not requiring that it be so. He's not insisting that it be so. In fact, can I tell you this? If you have a spouse who falls into sexual immorality and they come back to you repentant, I would make a biblical case, you have no grounds for divorce. Brethren, Colossians 3.15 says, "...forgiving each other as the Lord has forgiven you, so also you must forgive." You say, well, I forgive her, but I just can't live with her anymore. You know, there's something about that that doesn't ring true to that text I just read in Colossians. Can I tell you something else? There's something in that answer that doesn't ring true to this. How about Ephesians 5.25? Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her. What are you going to tell me? That if your wife falls into some sexual immorality, your love does not go above that? If she comes back to you repentant? or He comes back. Are you telling me that your love is below that? Jesus Christ gave His life for His church. Brethren, we must be people of forgiveness. We must be people of peace. We must be people of reconciliation. What in the world, man, are you going to say you love your wife like Christ loved the church, but she fell into this sin and has now come back to you for repentance and you're saying no? Brethren, you do not have grounds. If you're going to carry that text to heart, to life, to practice, you have no grounds. My counsel would be to you men, go love your wife. You say it's going to be hard. Brethren, do you think we say in the marriage vow for better or for worse? And it only means for the better? That's how a lot of people think. They say it in their marriage vow for better or for worse, but then they come along and they have 10,000 excuses. Which is my last point here. Jesus' exception is singular. Now somebody may say, hey wait, doesn't Paul make enough? We'll get to Paul. But I want to tell you something. Jesus' exception right here in Matthew 19.9 is singular. He says except for sexual immorality. He doesn't say because of incompatibility. He doesn't say because your spouse is financially irresponsible. Because he goes off and he gambles it away all the time. It doesn't say because he can't keep a job. It doesn't say because he's an alcoholic. Or because he's got a drug problem or a mental problem. It doesn't say because he's incarcerated and he's off in prison. Brethren, We get people coming along all day, all the time. They want to make their case. Well, you know, we didn't get along and this and that. As though what? That's an excuse after you said before God for better or for worse? All you're telling me is that you're in a situation that's for the worse. I want to stress what our attitude ought to be in this church towards marriage right now. Today. No matter what your past might hold. Brethren, I know we have people here on their second, third marriages. But don't let the truth of the sanctity of marriage be dulled because that's the reality. And we're going to get to this more, but I would say, I know some of you are saying, what do I do? My past is all messed up. I would say wherever you find yourself right now, you hold to the marriage vows you have. You consider that marriage you're involved in now with the utmost of sanctity. You strive. Brethren, I say it again. We need to fight for these marriages. You need to fight for your marriage only as a last resort. I mean, if there's sexual immorality... Brethren, No member of this church should divorce. It must not be an option. If you come to me and you've got these terrible problems, it is not going to be the first option, the second option, the third option. I mean, if you have a saved spouse and they ultimately prove not to be saved, and they end up going off and they end up in perpetual adultery or sexual immorality and they defect and they go and they never come back, I mean, as the last resort, we may come here, but it would be the last. It is not going to be the first. It is not going to be the second. It is not going to be the third. We are going to fight. It is not going to be for any reason under the sun. We are going to be exclusively locked in and dedicated, committed to the Word of God and to the words that Jesus Christ said. He does give an exception. We don't want to gloss that over, but He would primarily exalt marriage in our sight. It is with that view that we now are going to look at all sorts of circumstances. Well, what if? What if this happened when I was lost? What if this happened? What about that scenario? What about this? We're going to seek to answer some of those. But brethren, we have to enter into that with the highest possible standards with regards to marriage. We have to honor it. Strive by the grace of God. that even in the hardest situations, we are going to fight and strive and press on. Brethren, this is the will of the Lord for us as a church. And definitely, this is not going to be a matter of fellowship in this church. Look, if you come along and you say people can get divorced and remarried for any reason, or for any reasons that are not clearly indicated in God's Word, then we have a major problem. But I mean in these areas that we've looked at today, we need to love one another. We need to exhort one another. We need to press one another. We need to encourage one another in the marriages we find ourselves in now. We need to press them with the highest standard, with the highest commitment, with the highest levels of love and forgiveness. And we need to seek to be examples in the marriages we have right now to portray the love that Christ has for His church. Brethren, that is the standard. I realize we can't undo the past. I realize there are some situations very possibly that you need, in light of some of the things we're going to look at, potentially there could be some people here that are in situations that just don't stand up and they need to be abandoned. But I truly believe, brethren, we're going to look at a number of things. Hold the standard high. God help us. God help us. No marriage of any of you that are in this place today will be severed by divorce as long as you live. God help us. Such were some of us, but let it not be so now. By the help of our risen Lord Jesus Christ, let us endeavor. And I know some of you... You know what one of the facts is as a church? some of us get good marriages, and some of us get bad ones. And a lot of it has to do with the point at which God saves us. Sometimes God saves some of us before we get married, sometimes after. Sometimes after we've had the divorce and committed the adultery. God has just favorably and by His grace put some of us in situations that it could have easily been we are in swapped situations. Brethren, the Scripture calls us to bear one another's burdens. Those of us that have the better marriages, we need to really bear the burdens of those that don't. There's not inequality in this area. There simply isn't. But God has on purpose brought us all together with all the past that we have We all are where we are. And we all need to, speaking the truth in love, as one body, seek to grow together in all the different situations we find ourselves in, into this perfection of Christ. May God help us. You're dismissed.