It is a delight to be in the house of the Lord. It is a delight to be here in particular. It is a delight to have spent this entire weekend here with you. For those of you who have not been here over the course of this weekend, we missed you. And I believe that those of us who were here would say that you also missed something too. God has visited us over the course of these past several days. The cameras, please excuse those. As we explained during the conference, we're recording this so that we can have a conference DVD, which is also why I have my computer here. I don't normally stand up with my computer, but the conference DVD will also have the notes and everything coming up on the screen. And so, in order to be consistent with all of that, we're using this here. So, if you haven't been here, I don't want you to be distracted by that or by this or by anything else. But also, if you haven't been here, I want to say this to you. I wouldn't have said this before today because there are people who couldn't be here today who needed to be at their churches today. But I believe that the message today is the most important one in this series of messages. I believe that this issue that we're dealing with today, this issue and question of forgiveness, is the most significant issue. that we can handle as believers. And there are a number of reasons that I believe that this is the most significant issue for us. Number one, I believe it's the most significant issue in the Christian life. I believe that the question of forgiveness is the most significant question and issue in the Christian life. Why is that? And I'm thinking, I know there are a lot of you saying, well now wait a minute now, Of course, there's an obvious one that I can think of that's more significant than that. Be very careful before you make that assumption, because this issue is significant, because if we don't understand horizontal forgiveness, we won't understand vertical forgiveness. So many times in pastoral ministry when we deal with people who are struggling with assurance of salvation, if you dig a little deeper what you find is they are unforgiving people. And because they look at forgiveness as something others can almost never earn from them, they believe that forgiveness is something that they can never earn from God. And because they are always ready and willing to break fellowship, to get angry, and to pounce on anyone who wrongs them in any way, they assume that God looks at them the exact same way. And they have a hard time receiving, embracing, and walking in the forgiveness of God. Secondly, I believe this is significant because if you don't understand forgiveness, you can't understand the Gospel. You have to grasp forgiveness in order to grasp the gospel. If you have a warped understanding of forgiveness, you have a warped understanding of the gospel. And you believe in some form of works righteousness or something else like that. And so for that reason, this is important. The other reason that this is important is because I believe it is the most commonly used of all of the Christian graces. I really do. Of all of the things that we engage in our lives on an ongoing basis in our relationship with one another, the most common and most important is forgiveness. We are sinners who are called into communion with one another, either through our familial relationships, through marriage, through being siblings, or through our church relationships, through being brothers and sisters in Christ, in fellowship and communion with one another in the church. We are sinners who have been called into communion with one another, and as a result we sin against each other regularly. So we are either going to be characterized by forgiveness or bitterness. It's going to be one or the other. Either we are people who are constantly forgiving, or we are people who are constantly storing up bitterness. There's no middle ground. There's no middle ground. So if we have not grasped this issue of forgiveness, first, we have this difficulty in our understanding of the gospel, this difficulty in our relationship with God, and secondly, we have this barrier to genuine, authentic relationships with one another. So I say again, I believe this is the most crucial issue in the Christian life, this issue of Forgiveness. If you're married here today, this is the most crucial issue in your marriage, forgiving one another. If you're a parent or a child here today, and you live with your parent or your child here today. This is the most crucial issue in the parent-child relationship. This issue of forgiveness and how forgiveness is communicated within your household and within your relationship. Even if you're an adult who no longer lives with your parents, this issue of forgiveness is crucial because your relationship with your parents can be scarred forever. because of unforgiveness of things that happened when you were a child. In fact, there are some people in this room today who are being held captive by a person who's no longer even alive because you refuse to forgive them. This is a crucial issue. And I believe that the most significant picture of forgiveness outside of the cross of Christ in the entire Bible is the picture of forgiveness in Genesis 45. In Genesis 44, just to bring us back up to speed, we talked on last night at the end about that picture in Genesis 44. I call it the great exchange, the Judah for Benjamin exchange. And that's critical. As Judah offers himself in the place of Benjamin, As Joseph has placed or planted within Benjamin's bag evidence of a crime, and it's about to keep Benjamin back. You remember the tests that we looked at on last night? He wants to know, is Benjamin still alive? Now he knows Benjamin's still alive. Will one of you volunteer to go? No. Will one of you volunteer to stay? No. Will you guys come back for your brother? No, not necessarily. Not until all the goods are gone. They failed these tests. Does your father trust you? Does Benjamin trust you? They failed these tests. But now we get to chapter 44 and Judah personifies passing these tests. Please note that. Judah personifies passing these tests. We were examining whether or not they've been changed by God. Judah comes and all those tests again are presented. Here's a test. Judah. Is Benjamin alive? Yes, he is. He's with me. Judah. Will you go? Yes, I did. I went and I brought back my brother. Judah, will you stay? Yes, because now I'm offering to stay for Benjamin. Judah, will you come back for Simeon? Yes, I brought Benjamin to come back for Simeon. Judah, does Jacob trust you? Yes, I offered my life in exchange for my brother and Jacob trusted me. Judah, does Benjamin trust you? Yes, because Benjamin is right here with me. Every one of those tests we looked at on yesterday that the brothers as a group failed, Benjamin passes, or Judah passes in chapter 44. And he is declared the head of the family. Undisputed, he is the head of the family. He speaks for the family. He speaks for his brothers. And by the way, Judah is the promised seed. That's the backdrop for chapter 45. One of the most emotional stories anywhere in the Bible. Read with me, beginning in verse 1. Then Joseph could not control himself before all those who stood by him. He cried, make everyone go out from me. So no one stayed with him when Joseph made himself known to his brothers. Now, mind you, again, think about this from the perspective of his brothers. They don't know who he is. He's just, he's Pharaoh's spokesman. the power of life and death in his hands. We had money in our bags, we brought that money back. Now Benjamin had some stuff in his bag. He's going to keep Benjamin. Our daddy already said, if Benjamin doesn't come back, I'll die. Judah basically says, I'll give myself for my brother. Because it's either you keep my brother, and my brother's gone, and my daddy's gone, or you keep me. Keep me. Please, please keep me. And all of a sudden, Joseph is emotional, and he sends everybody out. And they're standing before him, and they have no idea what's about to happen. Their lives hang in the balance. That's all they know. And he wept aloud, so that the Egyptians heard it, and the household of Pharaoh heard it. And Joseph said to his brothers, I am Joseph. Is my father alive? By the way, they did not hear that question. I wasn't there. I'm not the prophet or the son of a prophet. What I'm here to tell you, put it this way, I wouldn't have heard that second question. Because after I'm Joseph, everything else would have been... I'm Joseph, is my father alive? But his brothers could not answer him for they were dismayed at his presence. Literally speechless. By the way, he's an Egyptian who's probably been using translators to speak to them. Now the translators are gone and their brother is speaking to them in their native tongue. Can you imagine how many times these men have been awakened in the middle of the night in cold sweats because of what they did to this boy? Can you imagine how many times they had to avert their eyes from their father's gaze because they know they lied when they put the blood on that robe and said the boy's dead? 22 years. they've assumed the worst. 22 years guilt has eaten them alive. 22 years they've lived with their sin. 22 years they've lived with their crime. 22 years this is their brother and now all of a sudden after 22 years of being eaten away with this, This Egyptian who has terrified them for months says, oh by the way, I'm Joseph. First thing that floods is how did we not see it? Can you imagine? Have you ever met somebody after a long time and you know you're walking around and they go, you don't remember me, do you? and they say I'm so-and-so and all of a sudden you look at them and it's like you can see their former face in that face and the first thing you say to yourself is how can I not recognize him this is Joseph this is their brother he was 17 years old now he's 40? and they look at him and they listen to him and there's no doubt that this is their brother they're overwhelmed We didn't kill him. He didn't die. Things went well for him. Praise God. Followed by, he's going to kill us. And we deserve it. We deserve it. However he decides to do it, we deserve it. Folks, in order to understand forgiveness, you have to understand guilt. And one of the reasons that we in our culture don't understand forgiveness is that we don't understand guilt. We don't understand the weight of our sin before a holy God. We're not kept awake at night for what we did because our conscience has been sheared and our culture has told us again and again and again, you didn't sin, you made a mistake. You didn't sin, you were born this way. You didn't sin, you were disadvantaged. You didn't sin, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Go to the nearest courthouse and you'll hear it all day every day. Did you hit the old lady in her head and take her purse? Well, you know I have a drug problem. Did you hit the old lady in the head and take her purse? Well, you know, you know, you know, I grew up poor. Did you hit the old lady in the head and take her purse? Well, you know, I didn't have a father. Did you hit the old lady and take it again and again and again and again? Excuses, excuses, excuses. Never. I did that. I'm guilty. I deserve to die. Right now, that's the only thing on their mind. And until you get there, you cannot comprehend forgiveness. Because you don't believe you need to be forgiven by God. Because you don't believe He's holy and you don't believe you're sinful. You don't believe that there is a standard of righteousness. You believe God grades on the curve. You believe because you haven't been on the nightly news for a mass murder that you're better than somebody, therefore you're alright. You bought that lie. That lie that believes hell has maybe three or four seats in it. Hitler, Pol Pot, you know, a few other people like that. Other than that, no, everybody's okay. Because you do not understand that God is holy. You do not understand that there is no shadow in Him. You do not understand that there is not even an unholy, unrighteous thought in the Godhead, let alone an unholy or unrighteous action. You do not understand that God Himself is the fountain of all being and the fountain of all truth, therefore whatever He does and or says is right. And you do not understand that in thought, and in word, and in deed, you have offended this holy God. You have offended this righteous God, and that you deserve to be consumed with an eternal fire. You don't understand that. And yet, you do. Because one of the first phrases you ever learned, whatever your native tongue is, One of the first phrases you ever learned as a child is, that's not fair. As a child, you cried out for justice when you were wronged. Even as an adult, when certain things happen to you, you want it to be made right. So there is this cognitive dissonance in us. On the one hand, there is in us this consciousness that says, Things that are wrong need to be set right. That's not fair. That shouldn't be. Somebody ought to do something. Where is God? Why do we question where is God? Because we believe in righteousness and justice and we believe that there are things that God needs to set right until the finger is pointed at us. You see, you sin because you're evil. Me, you just didn't understand my motives. If you can't say amen, you ought to say ouch. This is us. Whatever other people do, they did it because they're evil and they meant it. With me, it was a mistake. I didn't mean it. And of course, you need to understand that. You need justice. I need to understand it. And so there is this blind spot in us. On the one hand, created in God's image, we know, we know that sin needs to be punished. On the other hand, blinded by our sin, we believe But that's for everybody else and not me. But in this moment, there's none of that. In this moment, everybody in this room but Benjamin is absolutely guilty and he knows it. And let me tell you, it's the grace of God that brings you to that place. It's the grace of God that finally allows you to acknowledge your guilt. It's the grace of God that finally allows you to stop making excuses for what you did. It's the grace of God to finally allow you to say, I am the man. It's the grace of God that gets you away from saying, I was running with the wrong crowd, to finally be that one person in all of America who actually is the wrong crowd that everybody else runs around with. Amen? By the way, I'm waiting for that one parent. who says, yeah, my kid's the wrong crowd. Everybody else's kid just runs with the wrong crowd. My kid is the wrong crowd. It's the grace of God that allows you to see your sin. Because unless you see your sin, you can't comprehend forgiveness. And so we read this, and when we're reading Genesis, there is no doubt that these men are guilty. None whatsoever. And it is because of that that we can comprehend forgiveness. Now, Let me say this, two things. Number one, forgiveness for the Christian is mandatory. Let me say that again, forgiveness for the Christian is mandatory. And refusal to forgive is egregious. Why? First, refusing to forgive is sinful disobedience. The Apostle says clearly in Ephesians 4, 32, be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other as God and Christ also forgave you. If you refuse to forgive another, You are walking in sinful disobedience. That's not a suggestion. It is a command. You are commanded to forgive. Secondly, if you refuse to forgive, you are walking in hypocritical arrogance. You're walking in hypocritical arrogance. How so? Well, here's what happens when you refuse to forgive. As a Christian, you stand there forgiven for your sins, and you look to another person who's a Christian, for example, basically when you refuse to forgive another Christian here's what you said Christ died on the cross for that the father is satisfied by the death of Christ however that's not enough for me also I needed Jesus to die for my sin and to forgive me but I'm not willing to extend to you what's been extended to me you're a hypocrite You're a pure hypocrite when you refuse to forgive. Oh man, I better start forgiving believers. Um, stop for a minute. When you refuse to forgive an unbeliever, here's what you say to God. You say, that person is going to pay for that an eternity in hell. And I know that that's what your righteous wrath requires, but it's not good enough for me. In short, when you refuse to forgive, you are accusing God of not being able to take care of his business. You are accusing God of not being able to govern the universe rightly. You are accusing God of not being just and not being righteous. You're a hypocrite. Finally, you're dishonoring the body. Because you're calling someone unforgiven when in fact they are. But what does this unforgiveness look like? Before I answer that, let me tell you what forgiveness is. Because one of our problems is that we don't know what it means. John Calvin. First, what is forgiveness but a gift of mere liberality? A creditor is not said to forgive when he declares by granting a discharge that the money has been paid to him. But when without any payment, through voluntary kindness, he expunges the debt. There's forgiveness. It's expunging the debt. That's what forgiveness is. I am not going to... so my computer is up here and afterwards I forget to take it down. Somebody comes up here and knocks down my computer and breaks it. If I say to them, that will be, you know, however many thousand dollars. They give me the money and I shake their hand. I didn't forgive them. I made them pay. But if I say to them, don't worry about it, I will replace it. I have actually forgiven because I did not charge them for it. I canceled the debt. That's what forgiveness is. Canceling the debt. Well, how do you take that put it in terms of relationships. How am I charging people in a relationship? How am I not forgiving people? Let me give you a few examples. Depriving another person of your time, affection, or attention. That's unforgiveness. I don't want to be with you. I don't even want to see you. I don't want to be around you. I'm punishing you by depriving you of my time, affection, and attention. That's unforgiveness. By depriving a person of honor or respect, that's unforgiveness. I'm going to punish you by not giving you the honor or respect that you deserve. This is a big one for people when they've left home and don't forgive their parents for something. I'm not going to send him a card at his birthday. I'm not going to call her. I'm not going to take the grandkids by. I'll show them. That's unforgiveness. You are punishing them for what they did. Thirdly, depriving someone of something that they're due, like an inheritance. This is a punishment. Parents toward their children. Refusing to acknowledge accomplishments, achievements, or special occasions. I'm not going to go to that. I want them to feel the pain of my absence. That's unforgiveness. Rejoicing in the suffering of another. That's unforgiveness. You got what you deserve for what you did to me. And I'm glad. That's unforgiveness. And it's a grotesque expression that does not belong in the Christian life anywhere. These are just a few ways that we make people pay for what it is that they've done. And oftentimes we'll say, I forgive you, but I don't want to look at you right now. You're speaking out of both sides of your mouth. You don't know what forgiveness means. On the one hand, you say, I forgive you, which means I am giving up my right to punish you. And on the other hand, you're saying, yeah, I'm going to punish you by withholding my presence and my time and my affection from you. This is how we do it in the relational sense. This is what unforgiveness looks like between people. But what does forgiveness look like? Look at verses four and five. So Joseph said to his brothers, come near to me, please. I love that line. I love that line. OK, when you look at the last one, they're just speechless. I'm Joseph, I'm your brother. They did not run to him and fall on his neck. The next line is, come near to me, please. They probably took a step or two back. And they came near, and he said, I am your brother, Joseph, whom you sold into Egypt. If you're in the practice of underlining things in your Bible, that phrase, whom you sold into Egypt, you need to underline that. We'll talk about that more in a moment. But some people believe that you can't forgive unless you forget. He didn't forget. And yet he forgave. And now do not be distressed or angry with yourselves because you sold me here for God sent me before you to preserve life. There is an even fuller expression of this after Jacob dies. In chapter 50, beginning in verse 19. Jacob dies and they come before their brother. First they come with a statement from Jacob. Daddy said for you to forgive us. In essence, that's what they say. And then they fall on their knees before their brother, by the way, fulfilling the prophecy of his dream. Verse 19, But Joseph said to them, Do not fear, for am I in the place of God? You might want to underline that one too. As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive as they are today. So do not fear, I will provide for you and your little ones. Thus he comforted them and spoke kindly to them. Lord have mercy. Can you imagine? Can you imagine? Can you imagine being on the receiving end of this kind of forgiveness? If you're a Christian, you can. Because this is exactly what God does in Christ for those who are His, who have sinned against Him grievously. deserve death and hell, and yet He speaks to us kindly in the gospel, and He calls us His own, and He provides for us. This is a picture of forgiveness. This is what it looks like when we forgive. This is what we're called to For those of us who have been forgiven, this is what we are able to do for others. Because we've been forgiven, we must forgive. Because we've been forgiven, we can forgive. This is a picture of it. And we have advantages over Joseph because of where we are in redemptive history. And yet, this is a clear picture of what it looks like when God's people extend forgiveness. to those who have sinned against and defended them. And this is what we ought to be marked by. Forgiveness, kindness. There is a theology behind this forgiveness, though. It's important to understand this, because again, when we struggle with forgiveness, it's usually a theological problem and it causes theological problems. So let's look, 45, 6. Let's look, and Joseph gives us an understanding of the theology that allows him to extend this forgiveness. We got a little bit of it back there in chapter 50. For the famine has been in the land these two years, and there are yet five years in which there will be neither plowing nor harvest. and God sent me before you to preserve for you a remnant on earth and to keep alive for you many survivors. So it was not you who sent me here but God. It was not you who sent me here but God. It was not you who sent me here but God. You know, we talk about all this tension, this theological tension between, you know, man's accountability and God's sovereignty and this, that, and the other, and we use all this flowery language to try to explain and, you know, try to, you know, characterize and justify or whatever. Joseph has no problem with that theological tension whatsoever. He doesn't explain, he doesn't give caveats. You didn't send me here, God did. He has made me a father to Pharaoh. and Lord of all his house, and ruler of all the land of Egypt." Several things. Several things that we have to understand theologically in order to be able to forgive. Number one, we have to understand the sovereignty of God. If you don't understand the sovereignty of God, you don't forgive. If you don't understand the sovereignty of God, you believe you have to balance the scales of justice yourself. But when you understand the sovereignty of God, you understand nothing takes Him by surprise. And that God is using this for your good and for His glory, whatever it is. Secondly, you have to understand that vengeance belongs to the Lord. Unforgiveness is an amazing weight to bear because it is the weight of the universe. You actually believe that you have to set the world right that there is an injustice that has upset the balance of the scales of the universe, and you have to, through a slap in the face, or a spit in the face, or crossed arms, or the silent treatment, or yelling and screaming, and stomping your feet, or not sending a birthday card, or not letting to see the grandkids, or not giving honor, you believe that you have to do that so that the scales of justice will be set right. What an amazing weight to carry! That's why someone has said, holding on to unforgiveness is like you drinking poison, hoping they die. It's foolishness. Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord. You don't have the right to avenge yourself against another person. Now, listen, I'm not talking about pacifism here. I didn't say you don't have the right to defend yourself. You don't have the right to avenge yourself against another person. This is why the Hatfields and the McCoys went on and on and on and on killing each other because they didn't believe in a sovereign God who was in control of justice. This is why the Hutus and the Tootsies slaughtered one another. Because they didn't have a sense that there is a God who will set things right. I have to avenge. I have to do this. Because you have to know, and you have to pay, and I have to make you pay. When you understand that there is a sovereign God, and when you understand that vengeance is His, you can forgive and allow God to sort things out. Thirdly, you need to understand that you didn't deserve better. This one's tough. This one's tough. I had a friend that I had this discussion with, and he's one of these guys, and he's all pumped up, and you know, and he would go off, and he would lose it, and he just said, I mean, I just can't stand when people disrespect me. I said, really? Brother, can I tell you something? You think too much of yourself. You think people owe you respect. Who do you think you are? Nobody owes you anything. Think about what you deserve. You're a Christian. Think about what Christ endured on the cross because of your sin and then you tell me what you deserve. It's not respect. We're so proud and we think so highly of ourselves and so somebody says something that we don't like and we get puffed up because we deserve to be spoken to better than that. Actually, no you don't. No, you don't. We deserve to be treated better than that. No, actually you don't. You don't. Any kindness you receive from other people, it's the grace of God. You don't deserve anything. When you understand what it is that you deserve, it changes the way you think about these things. Thirdly, we need to understand the command to forgive. God is sovereign. Vengeance is His. I don't deserve anything. And God commands me to forgive. And finally, you need to understand that you can forgive because you are forgiven. And that you must forgive because you are forgiven. forgiving each other as God in Christ also forgave you. What about this statement though? God sent me here. We have a problem with that because we do not understand the sovereignty of God. Listen to the confession on this. Paragraph one of the chapter on the decrees of God. God hath decreed in himself from all eternity, by the most wise and holy counsel of his own will, freely and unchangeably, all things whatsoever come to pass. Yet so as thereby is God neither the author of sin, nor hath fellowship with any therein, nor is violence offered to the will of the creature. nor yet is the liberty or contingency of second causes taken away, but rather established, in which appears his wisdom in disposing all things and power and faithfulness in accomplishing his decree." You see, God sent Joseph to Egypt. Well, does that mean that God forced the brothers to do something against their will? No. Well, why would God use sinful people and the sins of sinful people in order to accomplish His will? Because there are no sinless people for Him to use. Amen? There are no sinless people for Him to use. There was only one of those. And God used Him in order to redeem those who are sinful. But beyond that, everyone whom God uses is a sinful person. And so, instead of looking at this and saying, well, doesn't that make God the author of evil? And doesn't that make God the... He didn't force these boys to do anything. In fact, I would argue, He restrained them from doing more. The doctrine of total depravity means that you are depraved totally in every part of your being. Doesn't mean you're as bad as you could be. Amen? Every one of you has had thoughts run through your head that you would never carry out. That's the grace of God. So God used these sinful men in order to accomplish his purpose. But by doing so, God did not force himself on these sinful men and make them do sinful things. In fact, the thing that God has to make us do, He has to make us alive again in order to turn to Him. I don't need my will to be turned toward sin, I need my will to be turned toward righteousness. Amen? So yes, God sent him to Egypt. God orchestrated that. and he even used these sinful men and their sinful actions in order to bring about their salvation. Look at God. You can't do anything to save yourself. I love how the confession says, or prepare yourself thereunto. You can't even get yourself ready for God to save you. You can't. And so God even uses your sinful actions. When you think about your life before you knew Christ, all these things you were doing, you were pursuing your own lust and so on and so forth. God was using all of those things in order to put you in the place that you needed to be to hear the gospel. And he changed your heart and he saved you. How many times did you hear the testimony of the guy who went to church? Because there was some girl that he was chasing and he had bad intentions. His sin had him chasing after that girl, all the while he didn't see the Holy Spirit chasing after him. Amen? This is the God whom we serve. This is the God whom we serve. God uses the offenses against me by others in order to conform me to the image of Christ. I talked earlier this morning about the way that God used some very specific things in my life to crush pride in me. They were awful. They were awful. But I look back on them and I say, thank you, Lord. Joseph would never have volunteered for Egypt. And yet, looking back, he wouldn't have changed a thing. This is our God. Well, how about the fruit of forgiveness? Look at the beginning of verse 9. Hurry and go up to my father and say to him, Thus says your son Joseph, God has made me Lord of all Egypt. Come down to me, do not tarry. You shall dwell in the land of Goshen and you shall be near me, you and your children and your children's children. By the way, his children are the ones who put this man in a hole. He says, I don't just want you to come here and not starve, I want you near Me. God saves us and He doesn't just say, okay, I'm going to not send you to hell. He says, I want you near Me. God doesn't save us to make us slaves. He saves us to adopt us as sons. His enemies, His enemies, He saves and adopts as sons. Your flocks, your herds, all you have, there I will provide for you, for there are yet five years of famine to come. so that you and your household and all that you have do not come to poverty. There's the fruit. The fruit of forgiveness is not that we just say the words and then act coldly toward people. The fruit of forgiveness is actually Christian love and kindness. Let me hasten to make several Observations. Because we need some pastoral observations on this issue. Because there are a lot of us who've dealt with painful things in our past. And some of your heads are spinning right now. As you're hearing me say, you're commanded to forgive. And even though I gave you a definition, you're thinking of forgiveness as being something that would be completely and utterly inappropriate based on what happened to you. Let me share a couple of things that should clear that up. Myth number one. The first myth is that you can only forgive people when they ask you to forgive them. Nobody asked Joseph for forgiveness. Nobody asked Joseph for forgiveness. He forgave. He forgave. We see Joseph's example. We also see Jesus' example. Matthew 9 to behold some people brought to him a paralytic lying on a bed and when Jesus saw their faith He said to the paralytic take heart my son your sins are forgiven Mark 11 25 whenever you stand praying forgive If you have anything against anyone so that your father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses You just stand in there praying and you remember that you are harboring something against another God says in that moment forgive and They haven't asked you to forgive them. In that moment, forgive. The logical consequences of this, folks, you know how many sins you aren't aware of? You know how much of a world of hurt you would be in if the only time God could forgive you is when you ask? But you see, when we hold on to bad theology like this, we transfer it to our relationship with God and the consequences are horrendous. They're horrendous. No, we forgive because we're forgiven. Myth number two, forgiveness requires forgetting. Listen to this from Henry Warbacher. I can forgive but I cannot forget is only another way of saying I will not forgive. Forgiveness ought to be like a canceled note torn in two and burned up so that it can never be shown against anyone. You know, two things you need to remember. Here's one. Human beings were not created to forget. When we start forgetting things, we're actually malfunctioning. You took a blow to the head, you have some kind of degenerative brain disease. We were not created to forget things. We were created to retain information and to remember things. So that's the first thing to hold on to there. That's the first thing that disproves this myth that forgiving requires that you forget the thing. You weren't created like that. Here's the second thing. If you could forget, you would miss the power of forgiveness. What's the power of forgiveness? I remember what you did, and I'm still not going to punish you. I'm Joseph, your brother. You remember the one you sold into Egypt? He remembers what they did, and yet he forgives them. If he had forgotten, what would be the power in the forgiveness? You see, we think about God forgetting our sins, casting them into the sea of the forgetfulness. We think about God bringing them up against us no more. Number one, you're not God. Amen? We remember. We remember. And when you remember, you have another opportunity to exercise forgiveness. Do you know what that means? Somebody sins against you and it was a grievous sin. And you forgive that person. I'm not going to harm you in any way. I'm not going to deprive you, withhold from you in any way. I'm going to forgive you. And all of a sudden, that person who was mistreated by that family member, molested by that family member, sends a card on that birthday, sits there and writes out that card and remembers what happens. And says, by God's grace, I choose to forgive. Because by God's grace, this is what God does every time He embraces me as His Son. And so because I'm forgiven, I must forgive. Because I'm forgiven, I can forgive. Every time you forgive, you have an opportunity to renew afresh your appreciation for the forgiveness that you have in Christ. No, you don't want to forget. Now, you don't want to marinate on it and dwell on it and rehearse it. You don't want to become bitter about it. There's a difference between that. But it's going to be there. Myth number three, forgiveness is an offensive weapon. Josh Billings has said, there is no revenge so complete as forgiveness. Oscar Wilde said, always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them so much. And we do this. We do this, don't we? Oh, no, no, no, no, I forgive you. And I want you to remember that I forgave you. I want you to remember I'm the one who acted. No, that's not forgiveness. You're actually using your forgiveness as a tool to beat the other person upside the head. That is not genuine forgiveness. You're actually using your pretend forgiveness as the weapon for your unforgiveness. It's not an offensive weapon. Myth number four, forgiveness will make everything better. Folks, forgiveness is not the same as reconciliation. Forgiveness is a one-way street. I can forgive a person who's dead. It's a one-way street. I can forgive a person without them even knowing that I've forgiven them. I can forgive a person without them asking, but it takes two to reconcile. And one of the reasons that people hold on to unforgiveness is because they confuse forgiveness and reconciliation. This person who did this to me, they're not a believer, they're not safe. I can't forgive them because we think that that means that you act like nothing ever happened and then you go, no, no, no, no, no, no. You choose not to punish them. Other considerations, forgiveness does not guarantee restored trust. Forgiveness does not guarantee restored trust. The wife who forgives a husband of adultery, the husband who forgives a wife for adultery, does not then become naive and say, sure, we'll have trips without accountability, Sure, we'll have unfettered access to other females, other males, whatever. Sure, we'll have. No. Forgiveness. I'm not going to punish you is different than saying it's going to take time to rebuild trust. Forgiveness for a person who was molested, for example, by a family member. I've forgiven this family member. This does not mean that my children can now be unsupervised around that family member. You see, but because we confuse these things, we hold on to unforgiveness. But we need to understand they're not the same thing. Forgiveness and restored trust are different things. And finally, forgiveness cannot be extended by proxy. In other words, I can forgive you for what you did to me, but you still may have to be disciplined by the church or the state. I don't have the right to forgive on behalf of the church or the state. So if you committed a crime, I'm obligated to deal with that crime according to the laws around us. But I can still forgive you personally. I can turn you into the police and then walk with you through the entire process. Saints, we need to get this. And again, one of the reasons that we don't get this is because we confuse these other issues. Forgiveness is absolutely required. And it's absolutely possible. Why? I am forgiven. Therefore, I must forgive. I am forgiven. Therefore, I can forgive. This is who we are in Christ. When we started, I said this is important for two reasons. First, the horizontal reason. My prayer is that you see how significant this is, because there are people who've come in here today holding on to unforgiveness against another person and feeling absolutely justified in doing so. Because you believe that what they did doesn't deserve to be forgiven. My prayer for you today is that you've come to realize that that's not correct. That you've come to look at this through the lens of the forgiveness that was achieved at the cross. That you as a believer have been washed in the blood of another who died on your behalf. and that in light of that you would not dare think such a thing about what another person has done. And our prayer for you is that you would forgive, because you've forgiven. But there are others, and you've come into this room today, and you're having difficulty with your assurance before God And perhaps today you've come to see how it's connected to your unbiblical understanding of forgiveness. And how walking around in your unforgiveness on an everyday basis and reiterating to yourself what you really believe theologically about forgiveness has affected and impacted the way you view God's forgiveness toward you. And you struggle, not because there's something wrong with God, but because there's something wrong with your understanding of what it means to be forgiven. God forgives. What does that mean? That means He withholds the punishment that you deserve from you. But what does He do with it? He pours out His wrath on His only begotten Son. so that he can be both just and the justifier of the one who places faith in Jesus. This is the heart of the Gospel. God poured out His wrath on another that He might forgive you. That means there's no more left for you. Amen. There's no more left for you. Christ died for sin once for all, the just for the unjust, in order that He might bring us back to God. And when he did it, he said to Telestai, it is finished. It's done. It's complete. There is no more. There is no more. Walk in the forgiveness that God has granted you. Oh dear Christian, don't leave here without that. And if you've come here today, not in right relationship with God through His Son Jesus Christ, here's what you have to ask. You know, you know that justice is required because things happen all around you all the time and you say to yourself, that's not fair. Things have happened in your life and you've asked, you've shaken your fist at God because God did not do what you thought God should do. He didn't protect you from what he should protect you from and he didn't punish the way you felt like he should punish. And today what I want you to hear is this. When you've shaken your fist at God saying, God, why didn't you? Did you include yourself? If you didn't, you're a hypocrite. Because when God clings out sin like you want him to, your name is on that list. So you either get honest with God right now, put yourself on that list, openly embrace the wrath of God that you deserve by your own confession because of what you want for the sins of other, or you get out of that line. And you cling to the cross. wherein Christ has punished sin, and find there forgiveness. Those are your only two options. Because you can no longer walk in your hypocrisy after today. You know better. You can no longer pretend that you're okay but everybody around you needs God's wrath poured out on them. You can't do that anymore. So either acknowledge and embrace the idea of being an object of God's wrath or let it go and flee to Christ and find forgiveness that can only be found in Him. Let's pray. Father, we thank you for the cross. We thank you for those theological realities that we so often think are just lofty ideas that have no practical application. And we thank you for reminding us that every truth that you have communicated to us is absolutely necessary and of the utmost importance. Thank you for reminding us today that we must forgive because we are forgiven, that we can forgive because we are forgiven. Thank you for reminding us today that you are the sovereign God of the universe, and that vengeance is yours and not ours, and that you will repay. You will set everything right on that last day. Thank you for reminding us that whatever we have experienced, it's better than we deserve. Thank you for reminding us that we can trust that whatever it is that we're called upon to endure, it is for our good and for your glory. Father, I pray for the one who came into this room today with unforgiveness, bearing that heavy weight, grant by your grace that they would lay it down. I pray for the couple who walked in today with a greater distance between themselves because of the bitterness that they stored up through unforgiveness over the years. I pray that this would wash over them like a flood. I pray for that parent and child, whether in the home or long gone, whose relationship has been characterized by this silent warfare of unforgiveness and disrespect. Disrespect as a weapon of unforgiveness. Dishonor as a weapon of unforgiveness. And God, I pray that you would melt their cold hearts. I pray for the church member who has been holding on to unforgiveness against a brother or sister in Christ, and that by your grace you would bring unity and wholeness to your body. And I pray for the unbeliever who has actually had the audacity to accuse you of wrongdoing because of injustice that you have not punished, all the while never, ever, ever acknowledging that they are part of that unjust mass that deserves to be wiped out. And yet by your mercy, you have not done so. God, I pray that that truth would rush in on them, and that they would be disarmed, that their heart would be softened, that their eyes would be opened, and that they would repent of their sin and trust in the forgiveness that is offered in the person and work of Christ. And Lord God, I pray that for all of us, Christ would be more exalted in our minds today as we consider afresh what He accomplished on the cross. Thank you for the mercy of forgiveness. grant by your grace that we would walk in it, that we would be marked by it, that we would be characterized by it, that we would be known for it, and that Christ would be glorified. We ask this in His name. Amen.