Our scripture reading this evening comes from 1 Peter. The sermon is going to focus on 1 Peter 3, verses 1-6. But as a part of the context, I want to read with you 1 Peter 2.18-3.7. Part of the reason is that we need to dip into chapter 2 a bit in the middle of the sermon in order to understand some of the context there. But we're going to be focusing especially on 1 Peter 3, 1 through 6. 1 Peter chapter 2, then we'll begin reading at verse 18 and give careful attention to the reading of God's holy word. Servants be subject to your masters with all respect, not only to the good and gentle, but also to the unjust. For this is a gracious thing when, mindful of God, one endures sorrows while suffering unjustly. For what credit is it if, when you sin and are beaten for it, you endure? But if, when you do good and suffer for it, you endure, this is a gracious thing in the sight of God. For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example so that you might follow in his steps. He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. And he was reviled, he did not revile in return. When he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly. He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed. You were straying like sheep, but now have now returned to the shepherd and overseer of your souls. Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external, the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry or the clothing you wear, but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. But this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord. You are her children if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. Likewise, husbands live with your wives in an understanding way. showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. The title for the sermon this evening is Eve's Christlike Beauty, which is a phrase that's meant to capture something about the value and even the attractiveness of a wife's submissiveness to her husband. As I'm sure most of you recognize, this topic is connected to my sermon this morning on the responsibility of Christian husbands. And so there this morning, we focus on why a husband is given authority in marriage, namely, in order to use that authority in service for his wife, especially by caring for her spiritually, by presenting the word to her, encouraging her and so forth, meeting her needs. By comparison, our message this evening is the other side of the coin, a companion message to the earlier one. Now, as this morning, there's no way that I can get into all the things that are in this passage. I want to be somewhat selective. But this is, as I said, a companion message. Now, thankfully, many Christian wives, when they hear a sermon like the one this morning, want to hear one about their own duties as well. Often when I've had occasion to preach about Christian husbands, different churches, women have come up to me afterwards and said, thank you for your sermon, when is the one for wives? And that's true, they have. Some even said that this morning. What a beautiful sign of God's grace at work, huh? Here I was, beating up on husbands, pointing out the very difficult Christ-like service that we so often fail in, Seeking conviction about areas of laziness or other sorts of sins, and the wives in the congregation are saying, thank you professor, when's our turn? Isn't that the way it should be? Because this is what, in fact, we all need. The word of God is both a sword to pierce us, and a balm to heal us. And yes, it is in fact refreshing to have our sin exposed to us, if when having it exposed to us, we may further put on Christ and be built up in His image. And so tonight we come to the topic of Eve's Christ-like beauty, or as we could also say, the costly value of Christ-like submission. Now, as we approach this topic, I want to first ask a preliminary question that I think is important to consider. And that question is, why is this a difficult topic to discuss? Because I think it is. I think it bears some consideration. Why do we find this subject uncomfortable, the subject of submission? I assume that you find it somewhat that way. I know that I do. But why is that? I think there's several reasons. One is it's a difficult topic because wives do not stand in their marriages in a position of strength, bearing authority, but in a position of weakness, living under authority, and the authority of sinful men at that. Quite simply, exhorting those who are already in a vulnerable position is not as easy to do. especially since the effects of sin in this world can make that vulnerable position quite difficult. So there's a particular delicateness to this topic, I think, and calls for care. Another reason it's a difficult topic is because those of us who are husbands know how often, or at least we know some of how often, we make the task of our wives harder by our sin. Exhorting someone else to perform their duty is always much harder when you know that you yourself are something of an obstacle to them doing it. As I know I am for my wife and husbands in general are for their wives. And surely we have to recognize this as well. And yet all of that sin on the part of husbands still does not change what scripture also gives wives as their own basic duty. God obviously knows that husbands are sinful. even while he instructs wives to be submissive. And so despite all the complications in marriage from the sin of husbands, some of which we talked about this morning, the word of God still comes to wives regarding their own part. And so it's our duty to be clear about that as well. But there's also a third and deeper reason why submission is an uncomfortable topic to talk about. And that is how often we in the church still think of weakness and submission the way the world thinks of it, and not as our Heavenly Father thinks of it. See, brothers and sisters, our context here today in America is one that has nothing good and everything bad to say about a wife submitting to her husband. In the world, and even in parts of the church, such a notion is not only unpopular, it's declared positively harmful, degrading, it's abusive, it's unethical. Say that a wife is not in every way equal with her husband is heretical in our day because weakness is a liability in the world's eyes. It's something to hide, it's something to deny, or it's something to eliminate. Independence and strength and self-determination are what the world values. The mission, by contrast, seems embarrassing or even offensive. So where does that leave us in the church? What do we say? Well, most of us understand enough to disagree, I believe, with a bald egalitarianism. We read passages like Ephesians 5 this morning or 1 Peter 3 this evening, and we see quite plainly in black and white that God gives husbands and wives different roles in marriage. Okay, so yes, submission is required. Still though, I'm afraid that many times our attitudes in the church never really get beyond mere acquiescence with this part of Scripture. Sort of reluctant recognition or a fatalistic resignation. Yes, it's unavoidable, there it is, but let's at least not talk about it much. Try to avoid having to confront it, whether here at church or maybe even more so at home. It's a necessity, perhaps, but nothing more than that. When I was in college, a visiting lecturer came to teach about marriage and took a view precisely like that. Submission, he said, means that if necessary as a last resort, when a decision has to be made by a couple and there's no more time to keep discussing something as equals, God gives husbands a tie-breaking vote. It's an expediency. It's a part of the organizational plan to avoid a logjam, a necessary evil, if you will, to be used in emergencies. Too often, I think, though, that this is how we also approach the topic of a wife's distinct duties in marriage. It's something to bear up under if necessary, but it's still something regrettable to minimize or avoid if possible. Husbands are tempted to think about it this way. It's a lot more friendly if you think about it that way, right? Allows us to be a lot more passive and weak ourselves if we want to think about it that way. Sometimes it feels rather convenient. But brothers and sisters, I'm here to tell you this evening that such a reluctant view of marital submission does not begin to square with the passage before us. And it doesn't either begin to articulate a Christian view of weakness. as God sees it. In fact, what it does is it robs Christian wives of their true glory. The costly value of a wife's role in her marriage. It directs her away from that distinct kind of Christ-likeness that God says he delights to see in her. He should delight in too. Here's where our passage in 1 Peter 3 is so helpful for us. Among all the texts on marriage, in my judgment, this one really gets at this topic here. Getting beyond mere reluctant acceptance, something far more Christian. Delighting in the distinct, costly beauty of a Christian wife. When we look at our passage, one of the things that really should strike us is the tender appreciation Peter has for wives in marriage. Whereas Paul, in Ephesians 5, writes much more briefly about the duties of wives, Peter goes on at considerably more length. Peter also expresses a warm personal touch on this topic. For example, his main command to husbands in verse 7 is that they live with their wives with understanding. Weaker vessel, something that's crucial for husbands as well. In addition to what's said in Ephesians 5. And in verse 6, Peter goes out of his way to address the possible fearfulness of wives in submitting to sinful men. Very, very relevant topic. I'm sure you wives would agree. Also, though, verses three through five, where we will primarily focus, speak admiringly of a wife's beauty and her inestimable value. The passage is full of tenderness and appreciation. As we notice that, we might ask ourselves why that is. What was it in Peter's experience that helped produce this warmth in the passage, this appreciation? I think there are probably two reasons for that, at least. One is that 1 Corinthians 9 verse 5 suggests that Peter himself was married, unlike someone like Paul. It seems likely then that Peter writes with great sensitivity to wives because of his own experience in marriage, seeing how difficult and yet what a blessing the labors of a godly wife really are. But another reason for Peter's warm appreciation is that Peter, unlike Paul, had firsthand experience with something else. He had firsthand experience with Jesus during Jesus's earthly ministry. That is, Peter observed Jesus's own life of submission firsthand. Walked with him, saw him, He saw Christ pour himself out to do somebody else's will all throughout his life, namely the will of his heavenly father. Peter saw firsthand then the noble goodness of the one who gave himself up, subordinating himself to his father in heaven, even when that was taxing, even when that was fearsome. And that's why we read the end of chapter 2 of 1 Peter, because that end of chapter 2 makes clear that Peter did have Jesus' life of suffering directly in mind when he writes to wives. Just before our passage, chapter 2 verse 21 of 1 Peter reminds us, Christ suffered for you, leaving an example so that you might follow in his footsteps. For he committed no sin, verse 22 says, neither was deceit found in his mouth. When he was reviled, he did not revile in return. When he suffered, he did not threaten, but what? But continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly. Then as Peter moves on to chapter three in verse one, he says this, in the same way, Wives, subject to your own husbands. You see, what I'm suggesting here is that Peter finds the pattern for wives in the earthly life of Jesus. He finds the pattern for other things there too, but definitely also this. Jesus submitted himself to the Father's will, entrusting himself to another. So too, wives, when they enter into marriage, they enter into a very Christ-like state. putting themselves underneath someone else for the sake of service. Though for Peter, the service of a wife to her husband reminds him of and is patterned after the self-emptying humility and service of Jesus Christ while on earth. Really, brothers and sisters, this is so vital to grasp because it helps us understand the dignity and the honor accorded to a Christian wife through the gospel. Yes, her position is one of weakness and self-emptying. It is one of deferring to someone else. And in the world, that's despised. But the world also despises a dying Savior. Yet in Scripture, such things are highly esteemed. That's why I read with you earlier in the service from Matthew chapter three about Jesus' baptism. You see there Christ in that passage humbles himself to be baptized by John. John thinks that this is beneath Christ and in a sense he's right. Father is so pleased with what Christ does in this particular event that he speaks directly from heaven. This is my beloved son with whom I am well pleased. What a remarkable event, what a remarkable commendation. And what is it here in that event that pleased the father so much? It is that Jesus in presenting himself for baptism is yoking himself to his ministry, a ministry of self-giving, of self-emptying, of humbling himself to take the position of a servant. Christ wasn't beneath John. He didn't need baptism for repentance himself, but he submits himself to it in order to do the Father's will, as the passage says, to fulfill all righteousness. So what evokes the Heavenly Father's particular vocal commendation in Matthew 3 Son being willing to give himself over to a lower position for the duration of his life on earth for the sake of service. God says that's well-pleasing. Compare that to what you see in 1 Peter 3. See here too, we find a particular poignant expression of God's approval and delight. But in this case, it's for wives when they submit themselves to their husbands with a gentle and quiet spirit. This, Peter says, is also very precious in God's sight. The word precious in the passage could be misunderstood, I suppose. It doesn't refer to something sentimental or cute, I'm not talking about a precious moments Bible filled with things that are small and inconsequential. The Greek word here, precious, means costly. It's the kind of way we use the word precious metals, valuable, of immense worth. So Peter singles out wives for special commendation when they adopt the same posture that Jesus did at his baptism, a meek and quiet submission to someone else in order to serve. See the parallel there? Pattern for a wife in marriage is none other than Jesus himself in his earthly humility. Peter directly witnessed. joining herself to a man in marriage then. A Christian woman is voluntarily joining an arrangement of self-denial. So she's imitating our Savior in the most personal of ways, placing herself under someone else's authority, bending her will to someone else's in submission for the duration of her life in order to seek His will and not her own. And so it's not surprising then that the words used to describe wives in our passage are oftentimes words elsewhere in Scripture used to describe Christ. For example, in 1 Peter 3, 4, it says that a wife is to have a gentle spirit. Another way of translating it would be a meek or humble spirit. The same word is used of Jesus in Matthew 11, 29, which we use as our call to worship. He said, come to me, all you that are weary and heavy laden, for I am gentle or meek, lowly in heart. Or Matthew 21 verse 5 says, behold, your king is coming to you, humble and mounted on a donkey. We see here that Jesus was not haughty or proud. His attitude was not of self-assertion, as the world tells us ours should be, especially women's should be. He wasn't standing up for his own rights or his own interests. That's not his posture. Rather, he humbled himself before the Father to take a position that many considered low, but God considered exceedingly valuable and costly. This same quality should characterize a wife in marriage. A wife is not to be one who seeks recognition and privilege, or one who is oriented towards her own fulfillment and her self-interest. In marriage, the wife's principal interests are to be the husband, and his concerns. The husband is supposed to take care of the wife's needs, as we talked about this morning. The wife's focus is on not self-fulfillment, but purposeful service. Really, in the end, both forms of service are complementary, as I hope you see. But in meekness, a wife gives herself over to her husband, even as Jesus Christ did to our Heavenly Father. 1 Peter 3, 4 also says a wife is to have a quiet spirit, and that too is a word used of Jesus. She's to have a heart that doesn't protest or fret, a heart that is at peace with self-giving. So Peter goes on to describe wives not being fearful as they do good. A quiet spirit is one that doesn't resist or fight. It has an inner resolve and a peace before God. This is what we see as clearly as anywhere in the Garden of Gethsemane with our Lord. Jesus prayed with great emotional turbulence before the Father. It wasn't an easy task. It wasn't a walk in the park, right? As he faces the upcoming suffering, And yet at the same time, he quiets himself before the Father. He says, if it be possible, Father, let this cup pass from me. Yet, not my will, but thine be done. See then that what Peter commends here for wives is not a bare doing of one's duty while being reluctant or resistant. It's not a resentful submission done in a kind of icy silence. Rather, he commends a Christian wife's inner strength and her resolve that enables her to give of herself humbly and quietly because she rests herself ultimately in Jesus Christ himself. Did the same. So this is what a wife's costly beauty consists in. It consists in a particular form of Christ-likeness. A brave and a noble submission that is of great value because it's so hard to find in this world. And because it's so endearing and attractive to those who observe it. You see, brothers and sisters, why being uncomfortable and reluctant about submission, while perhaps in one sense understandable at times, is still not sufficient. Because it means being uncomfortable and reluctant about what God says is truly beautiful. God himself singles out the meek and quiet spirit of a wife. 1 Peter 3 for particular commendation. Calls it beautiful, he calls it precious or costly. How then can it be something else to us? So I ask you, friends, do you see the submission of a wife to her husband as a beautiful picture of Jesus? See, we talked this morning about husbands, as they love their wives in service, using their authority in a loving manner that's Christ-like. But here's another form of Christ-likeness. We can put it this way. Read 1 Corinthians 11. The Christlikeness of a husband imitates Christ's relationship to the church over whom he has authority. The Christlikeness of a wife imitates Christ's relationship to his father while he was on earth, submitting himself to the father's will. But both of them are 100% about Jesus. Do you place great value on the submissiveness of a wife as something of far greater worth than gold? Do you delight in your sisters in Christ when they voluntarily, graciously, and quietly enter into marriage, agreeing to put their own interests and their own will below that of their husbands? Does it remind you of Jesus? Do you consider it a distinct honor? What a joy it is to see glimpses of Jesus Christ's own life relived in part before us in the church. What a privilege it is to behold His character developing and increasing in another person, especially a person as beautiful and dear as one's own wife. Truly, the position of a wife in marriage is not easy. But it is still a distinct privilege in its own way, again, because it is about Jesus. And it is like Jesus. I submit to you that when we think of submission in that way, it cannot be something to resist or minimize. It cannot be viewed merely as a necessary evil. It is instead something to do as much as possible. Something to give oneself over to with great purpose and meaning, letting Jesus's life become yours more and more as you see his grace at work in you. And so it's my duty to ask us this evening, how are we doing as a church on the topic of submission? And I wanna start here for a moment with husbands. Now husbands, I know you thought you were off the hook tonight, but really this topic is crucial for us too. Essential question is, do you notice and give honor to your wife for her Christ-like spirit? Do you consider it beautiful and costly, and do you tell her that? Yes, of course, this is her duty. But it's certainly not an easy one. And so do you say to her, sweetheart, I see how you're giving up what you wanted. And I see Christ in that. Thank you. It's encouraging. Makes me want to serve you better as your husband. You say things like that in your marriage. Go a long way. But along with that, husbands, do you commend your wife for her submission? Not just with your lips, but with your actions. Too often, in actual fact, Christian husbands adopt, maybe unthinkingly, but they adopt the world's false view of beauty. In the world, the beautiful woman is the daring one, the forceful one, the one who promotes herself by being brash and dressing immodestly. There's no gentleness or quietness there. Husbands, I ask you this in all seriousness, do you turn away from that and do you mock the false beauty of the world? Because you should, because the Bible does. Proverbs says that a beautiful woman who shows no discretion is like a gold ring in a pig's snout. It's distasteful, it's a waste, it's foolish. And the Bible purposely puts a fine point on it because this should seem absurd to us. So again, I say, husbands, do you show your wife that that is true with your words and your actions? Thank you, sweetheart, for not parading yourself about. Thank you for being content without the world's recognition of you and only with my recognition of you. I notice it. It makes me swell with appreciation and love. It's beautiful. That's what our passage says. But brothers, the world tells your wife that she is wasting her life by being submissive. You need to tell her that she's not. Speak to her like 1 Peter 3 speaks. Amend her. Tell her it's attractive. Tell her that it's alluring. Tell her that it's beautiful. Wives, of course, I need to speak to you as well. The passage is principally about that. How are you doing on the topic of submission? Do you give yourself to it reluctantly? Do you seek to minimize it? Something to avoid whenever possible. Are you tempted to resent it and to fight against it? Well, of course you are tempted, right? That's your flesh. But by God's grace, do you also see at the same time the fellowship that you have with your Savior when you are gently and quietly submissive? Do you pray and do you strive to be as Christ-like as possible in this distinct, beautiful and costly service. See, sisters, the devil has constant suggestions for you to how to limit your submission. One way to limit it is avoidance. You know you want something that your husband doesn't want, is against his will, and so you don't bring it up. He'll forget. Maybe he won't notice if you just later do the opposite quietly. Another way to limit submission is by bargaining, whether out loud or just silently. I'll do this for you if you'll do that. Place conditions on your service as a way of getting your own way. I'll meet the need that you're asking for if I can spend more money. When we talked about this in Sunday school, I gave some examples, but this happens a lot in marriage, both directions. You don't talk to me about my self-assertiveness in ways that are socially or even physically immodest, and I don't talk to you about how you work too much and how you're never home and you don't take care of us spiritually, right? It's a bargain, it's a deal. Another way of limiting submission is the strategy of dividing up life into different jurisdictions to protect an area of independence. You see, people will say these about their marriage. Well, we've agreed that I make the decisions about this by myself, and he makes the decisions about that. I see this in marriages when I look around. You notice the guys who are always in their garage or yard, never in their house. He just mowed your lawn yesterday. Why does it need to be mowed? Well, I think he's a little more comfortable outside. Away from his wife's domain where she's bossy. Comes down to sometimes, I'm pretty sure. But there's the way to limit submission with a more subtle approach of technically giving in to your husband while clearly showing your unhappiness to pressure him. or to make him pay. He made a decision, finally. But boy, is he going to live to regret that. He knows I'm not happy about it. What's the effect? He'll think twice about that next time, won't he? Do I want to live with that for the next however many days? Do I want to go to bed and it's nice and icy? Pressure. Technically, you said okay, but you didn't in your heart. Use all the means at your disposal to really actually get your way and your will rather than being Christ-like. Clearly, of course, none of these display Christ-like service. Did Christ ever relate to his heavenly father in such a way? Is that why the father was pleased with him because Christ had surrendered only part of his life to him? Well, obviously not. In the end, wives, much of our passage really comes down to what you idealize or what you really think is worth pursuing. Ask yourself which thing you put more time and energy into? Do you put more time or energy into combing through stores, trying on jewelry, shopping for the latest fashions, or to adorning yourself with an attitude of submission? You see, sisters, the world will never ever send you a catalog selling the second one of those. But a wise husband knows exactly which one is more appealing. You know how beautiful a quietly submissive attitude really is? And do you seek it out through the word and through prayer like a treasure? Far more alluring than a necklace or whatever it might be. Stores really in the end only offer you distractions and substitutes for real beauty. I'm not saying it's wrong to have clothing or nice clothing in some measure, but the passage clearly says it's not that in which your beauty consists. If you find your identity in what stores sell, it really only instills in you a kind of insecurity and a kind of neediness that goes directly against the strength and the resolve that a gentle and quiet spirit has. A woman who has quiet confidence in the Lord doesn't really need flash and bling. She knows what she has in Christ, and she experiences the security that this produces in and for her, a security that has Far more to offer her husband in life in general, and yes, indeed, even in the marriage bed. Far more to offer than anything the world can sell. And so, brothers and sisters, the Bible holds true wisdom out before us here. Wisdom about that unmistakable, that beautiful, that unique and costly possession of an inner spirit of gentleness, of meekness, of quietness that only a Christ-like wife can possess. The real question then is, what do you value and desire? Do you desire self-protection wives? Is that really what it comes down to? Don't want to be hurt. Insulate myself from fear. Submission, of course, brings vulnerability with it, as you entrust yourself to the Lord's design for marriage. Or do you crave recognition and attention from your peers? Well, deferring to your husband's not exactly a good way to get that. Do you desire just independence and control? Obviously, a gentle and quiet spirit contradicts that. Many things that the flesh tells you are of great value, but there is only one that is truly precious. That is Jesus Christ himself. So rather than ask, do I have to do this or do I have to do that? Why not put the question the other way? Ask yourself, how can I accentuate my Christ-likeness as much as possible? How can I have as much of that unique beauty, that lasting beauty, that very rare beauty as I can have? So I challenge you, sisters, to adorn yourself with Christ. Adorn yourself with Christ and the costly garments that he provides for you. You know, the ultimate reason why God considers a gentle and a quiet spirit costly is because God knows firsthand what, in fact, that spirit truly costs. Cost him his own son, didn't it? whom he sent to earth to die for our sin. It cost the son his heavenly glory, which he gave up to empty himself in obedience as a servant. And this is ultimately why submission is so precious, because Christ submitted himself perfectly to the Father to purchase a gentle and quiet spirit for you. How then can you not pursue that above all else? Can you not give yourself wholeheartedly to it really as a privilege? And how can we all not together honor and praise this when we see it in one another? Creating a community in which it is noticed and valued. Not who was wearing what. Or who looks what way outwardly. Brothers and sisters, put it this way, the beauty of a Christian wife is really the beauty of Christ in her, transforming her to be like him, showing his glory to the world through her valuable service. And so I pray for all of us and we will pray together here. May God give us all grace to become more and more like Christ in the ways appropriate to our different places in life. and grace to rejoice in him when we see this in one another. May our children behold Christ both in father and mother in their own ways. May a watching world have reason to glorify Christ, have reason to wonder what is this Christ who produces such things, such otherworldly things, otherworldly beauty in his followers. May he receive all of the glory. Let's pray. Our gracious God and our Heavenly Father, we confess to you that we are worldly. Look at things in this world through our eyes and our ears and we pay attention to that rather than understanding by faith, a faith that sees what's unseen. We look at the customs of the world, the values of the world, and we covet them. We seek to imitate them. We imbibe them even without knowing. We act like the world. We talk like the world so often. Father, we need to be rescued from the world. We thank you that you do this in Christ. We thank you that you are committed to this. Thank you that your transforming power is all-sufficient and far beyond what we can ask or imagine. So, Father, we call upon you. Work in us what is well-pleasing in your sight, that we would be like the Son who pleased you so much. Pray, Father, that when things are difficult, you will encourage us. When situations of one person or another are especially challenging, that you would give abundant grace. But that we would indeed put one foot in front of the other, trusting you with our obedience, following your plan, entrusting our lives to another, to you. that you would bless us in every way through this, we ask in Christ's name.