Today is Mother's Day, and it's a good opportunity for us to pay attention to that in Proverbs 31, as it's described, the verses 10 through 31. Hear these words of God. An excellent wife who can find. She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not harm all the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax and works with willing hands. She's like the ships of the merchant. She brings her food from afar. She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens. She considers a field and buys it. With the fruit of her hands, she plants a vineyard. She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong. She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night. She puts her hand to the distaff and her hands hold the spindle. She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy. She's not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet. She makes bed coverings for herself. Her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them. She delivers sashes to the merchant. Strength and dignity are her clothing and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed. Her husband also and he praises her. Many women have done excellently but you surpassed them all. Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands and let her works praise her in the gates. And our text this morning is these last two verses of the portion that we just read. Beloved congregation of our Lord Jesus Christ, today is Mother's Day. It is a day that our society has set apart to observe the unique role that mothers play in our lives. And it's not a day in the liturgical calendar, the church calendar, in the same way as, say, Christmas or Easter is. But the Bible has a lot to say on this topic. Out of all the passages that you could read, the one that we just read is probably the most famous. And today, therefore, is a good opportunity to spend some time with this passage. Now there's two mistakes that you can make when you read this passage. The first mistake is to think that it is irrelevant for your situation. Maybe you're a single male, for example. You don't think there's much in this passage for you, so you've already started to tune out. But that would be a mistake, because what does Scripture say about itself? It says that all Scripture is God-breathed, and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness, and that includes this passage. It is God-breathed, and God intends to use that to teach, to train us. It is profitable for you to pay attention. It could also be that you're sitting here this morning and that Mother's Day is actually a very painful day for you. You would love to have children, or maybe you finally had one after a long and painful struggle and you would love to have more, but the Lord is simply not answering your prayers in that way at this time. So you're hurting this morning. But this passage doesn't actually say as much about mothers as it does about a woman who fears the Lord. And now, in this passage, she's a mother as well, which makes it appropriate to read today, but motherhood is not actually what defines her. What defines her, what makes her praiseworthy is that she is a woman who fears the Lord. So even if you're not a mother, this passage still has a lot to say to you. Now the second mistake that you can make when you approach this passage, especially if you are a woman, is that you feel already inadequate. We've already, we've barely begun and already you're looking at the list of everything that this lady does and you compare it to your list of stuff that you haven't done. Your mind's already left the building. You're going through your to-do list. Or you're looking at the ladies around you in the pew, comparing yourself to them, ranking yourself at the bottom. Don't do it. That's not what this is for. That's not how this passage is meant to be used. But having said that, we should expect this passage to challenge us. This passage also contains the gospel, does it not? If Jesus said that these are the scriptures that testify about me, then we should expect to find Jesus in this passage. We should expect the gospel to challenge us. We should also expect it to build us up. So with that in mind, let us submit ourselves to the word of God this morning. And I bring you that word under the following theme, that a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. And we'll see that this is a challenge to women, and it is a challenge to men. So let's have a look at this passage. Verse 10 of our reading tells us that this is a description of an excellent wife. Or as the 1984 NAV translation put it, a wife of noble character. And for all of its flaws that it did have, the 1984 NIV had a nice turn of phrase here. That's a really nice way of putting it. It's a bit more descriptive than just saying excellent wife, because if we hear the phrase excellent wife, we think excellent at what? Housework, cooking, and that's not actually what that word means. So this phrase, women of noble character, captures the intent a little bit better It refers in the original language to someone who is efficient and capable. You could say that this lady is a valiant woman, a woman who shows courage and determination in what she does. And so in the original language, this word excellent has military overtones. And it uses military imagery to describe her. You weren't expecting that, were you? But it is actually true. Verse 11 says that her husband will have no lack of gain. And it's not talking about gain in a business sense, necessarily, but in the sense of plunder, actually. It's military language. And in verse 17, it says that she dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong. Literally, she girds her waist with strength. So, again, language that's military, language that you would expect more from a soldier preparing himself, or in this case herself, for battle. So, what's the point of all this battle imagery? Well, the point is to remind us of all of these Old Testament heroes of the faith whom God used to deliver His people. And there were men there, but there were also women, right? Think of someone like Deborah, for example. So the point is that this poem has, right, coming out of the gates, it has this heroic feel to it. There's something epic about this, and you would never guess that when you read it. You know, some parts of it seem quite domestic, but it has this epic, heroic sense to it. This woman is portrayed as a heroine who is used by God to accomplish his work in this family. So what kind of a life would that involve? Well, the passage gives us a few clues. This lady and her family are not poor, because according to verse 15, she does have some maidens, some servant girls to help her. But at the same time, she's not really upper class either, because she actually does a lot of physical work herself. That's a really labor-intensive kind of a life that she leads here. If she was really upper-class, then she would do no work at all, and she would just have her servant girls do everything for her. So apparently, this lady is what you would call an average middle-class kind of a woman. She has servant girls, but you know what? You've got appliances, and your appliances do the same work that those servant girls did back then. This is actually a very accurate description of most of us, most of the ladies in the congregation. She's not that different from you. So our passage paints a picture of a busy lady. Her hands are always moving. She seeks in verse 13 wool and flax. Verse 19 says she holds the distaff and spindle. Those are tools to turn this wool into thread. And then verse 22 says that she makes her own clothing and bed coverings. And apparently she makes so much of it, according to verse 24, that she even has some left over to sell. And then she sells that, she invests the surplus, the money that she makes in real estate. So it talks earlier in verse 16 about she considers a field and buys it with the fruit of her hands, she plants a vineyard. So this is a very enterprising lady. She's good at doing business, and verse 18 refers to that as well. She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. And then it says her lamp does not go out at night. So the lamp going out at night is a Middle Eastern image of poverty. If you can't afford oil to keep her lamp lit at night, then you're poor. But her lamp is lit all night because she knows how to manage money. So you would look at all of this and you might think from our perspective, well this is obviously a career woman. But that's not the case. Because this woman is not someone who goes off to pursue her career but then leave her kids in daycare. And we live in a time when that does actually happen a lot, doesn't it? We live in a time when many women work outside of the home. The children are raised by a stranger or at best by by grandma and granddad while both parents pursue their careers, but this lady is not actually doing that. She is a smart businesswoman, but she works from home. Verse 27 says that she looks well to the ways of her household, and you can't really do that when you're working full-time somewhere else. So her work is an important part of her life, it's an important outlet for her creative abilities, but it does not go at the cost of her family life. It is integrated with her family life. So this lady actually has her priorities in the right order. So you wonder, wow, well, what sort of a husband would she be married to? And you don't actually hear much about him, do you? He's kind of in the background. But don't think that that's the case because he's one of these passive men who's overshadowed by a domineering wife. Verse 23 actually says something about her husband. It says, her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. So the city gates in those days served as a center of justice and administration. Think, for example, of Ruth chapter four. You remember that story? Boaz goes to the city gates to settle the matter of Ruth and the land, and he does that before the elders. So the city gates is the center of civic and economic life in their community, and her husband is smack in the middle of it. Now, if you were to read this too quickly, you might conclude that these two are leading separate lives. She does her thing at home, he pursues his career and business and politics, and she makes sure that there's a hot meal waiting on the table when he comes home from work, and for the rest, their ship's passing in the night. But that is not actually the case either. Our passage makes it clear that she shares in his success. The reason why he's able to go to the city gates and completely commit himself to that work is because he knows there's someone trustworthy back home, his wife, taking care of things so well, and he realizes that. It says in verse 11, the heart of her husband trusts in her. He knows she does a good job. He trusts her completely. She is, in the words of Proverbs 12, verse 4, his crown. Let her works praise her in the city gates, it says in our text. So in other words, he's proud of her and he makes a point out of telling that to his colleagues. He doesn't talk down his wife behind his back, but he tells his colleagues about her. So no, they're not leading separate lives. She shares in his success, she's aware of what's going on in his life, she's interested in it, and that's what a healthy relationship looks like. You know, in many ways, our passage is a description of a stay-at-home mom. Over the last number of decades, ever since, yeah, really, post-World War II, 1950s, and especially the 60s, the feminist movement has successfully stigmatized this calling, or led somehow to believe that women who choose to spend most or all of their time at home are not living up to their full potential. But our passage completely destroys that notion. And it does so especially in verse 22. We read that this lady makes bed covering for herself. Well, actually, already in verse 21, all of her household are clothed in scarlet. And then in verse 22, she makes bed coverings for herself. Her clothing is fine linen and purple. Purple is a color of royalty. It's the color of nobility. And so this woman is portrayed as a queen. There's something noble about the way that she conducts herself in her day-to-day life. She's a queen in her own home. Now maybe you're a stay-at-home mom sitting here listening this morning. If you have five under five, well, in that case, you're probably listening on the live feed right now. You have five under five, and whatever else you feel like, you do not feel like a queen. It's hard to feel like a queen when your day started with a major diaper blowout, when you still have a stack of dishes in the sink, and you haven't even had time to change out of your trackies. You only wish that you had it together like this amazing Proverbs 31 woman does. But remember the military imagery that we noted earlier. This lady's portrayed as a heroine, and that is certainly, she is a heroine, and that is certainly the case today. Because think about the culture that we live in. We live in such a hostile culture, and the family unit is so fragile. It is these little kids in the most vulnerable stage of their life, and it's this little unit in society, in a society that's increasingly hostile, and here's the mother in the middle of it, holding the family together, caring for their needs, teaching the little ones the difference between right and wrong, modeling self-sacrifice, And don't forget our enemies, you know, the families and the crosshairs. We have the devil, the world, and our own flesh, you know, from the catechism. But in the very middle, holding the family together is the mother. Maybe her work doesn't always seem glamorous, but you know what? In the eyes of God, it is heroic. You think about that the next time that you separate two kids that are fighting or you change another diaper. It doesn't feel like it in the moment, but in the eyes of God, what you are doing is heroic. She gives of herself. And that's really grace, isn't it? The giving of yourself to the dependent, the needy, those who are not deserving in a sense or who have not been able to do anything to earn that. So in this picture of a woman, in this Proverbs 31 lady from a New Testament perspective, we see the image of Christ reflected. Because she embodies the love and the compassion that God shows us most clearly in Christ. Think about what Jesus said in Mark 10 verse 45. He says, even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many. His whole life was a life of service. His life culminated in his death on the cross when he died to pay for the sins of his people. That was the ultimate act of service towards sinners like us, people who do not deserve it. And we see a faint reflection of that in our mothers and wives. So you think about that when you see your mother going about her daily activities, quietly and faithfully serving her family. You think about that too, boys and girls. The love that she shows in serving her family is very great. She invests her entire life in her family. And so that love at its best, that love that you see is the love of Christ. A very specific echo of the love and the self-sacrifice of Christ that ultimately points us out of the situation that you're in to the cross. And then consider the kindness, the grace of God in giving us such women in our lives, such mothers, such wives who reflect Christ so beautifully. Think about that. Think about God's undeserved grace to us all given through our mothers. Now it could be that you're a woman and you're listening right now and you're thinking, you know what, this is not me, I could never live up to this. This passage is making me feel worse, not better. Proverbs 31 puts the bar so high. And the question posed in verse 10 is, well, who can find this kind of life? In other words, there are not actually that many people who live up to that standard completely, and Scripture acknowledges that. But the question then becomes, how can we live up to that standard? If this is kind of an ideal, then how does a woman in this passage do all of these things? Well, one point to keep in mind is, on maybe a more practical level, is that every family is different. You get all these children, and different families are all at different stages. And the fact is that some children are more difficult to parent than others. That's a question of temperament. Sometimes it's genes. One child is constantly rebellious. It's terrible too, stretched out over a few more years and other kids are just by nature compliant and they listen. So temperament is part of it. Some families have different living circumstances which can have an impact as well. Sometimes something as simple as the size of your backyard can have an impact on how well the siblings get along with each other. Some mothers have higher or lower energy levels than others. We should not assign a value judgment to that. It's not that a mother with a higher energy level is a better mother. It's simply a biological fact that some have more energy, others don't. Some mothers have different interests. And that leads them to slightly different priorities. Maybe you're not as artistic as a person sitting in the pew beside you. but you bake stuff from scratch for your kids because you think this is important. She doesn't think that's important, the artistic one, so she buys hers from the shop and that frees up a bit more time in the week. And that's fine, it's not good or bad, it's just different. See, the point is, All of us are different. God has created each one of us, put us in our particular family circumstances with our particular skills and talents. And that was his providence. And so it's not helpful as a mother to compare yourself to someone else and to constantly do that. Because that's not the question you should be asking. If you ask the wrong question, you end up with the wrong answer, right? So the most important question is, how can you best reflect Christ in your particular situation? You see, this chapter, like the rest of Proverbs, is considered to be wisdom literature. It's classified as wisdom literature. And wisdom literature is, designed to show us how to live harmoniously in this world, in our relationships with God and man. So that's wisdom. And all of the things that this lady does is applied wisdom. So in a way, this wife of noble character is idealized. It's kind of what wisdom would look like if it was embodied. If you took the best way that you can relate to other people and to God, kind of the ideal embodiment of practical and spiritual wisdom, you put them together into one person, you end up with this lady. But it's not idealistic, this description. It's not impractical. Because the whole point of telling us this is to say to us, you know what, this is something, as a believer, that you can aspire to. But the question is, where does that wisdom come from? What's her motivation? And Proverbs 1 verse 7 spells that out for us. Interesting, that's at the beginning of the book, and then you get this chapter at the end. And Proverbs 1 verse 7 says, the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge. So ultimately, the wife of noble character is who she is, not because she has higher energy levels or she is more talented or any one of those things, but because she fears the Lord. Everything that she does, everything that she is comes out of that fear of God and that shows her behavior, that shows, shapes the way that she cares and in that way she becomes the embodiment of wisdom. Wisdom, the definition of wisdom is to live in harmony with God and those around you. And that's what she embodies. The wisdom that she speaks with, the faithful instruction that she dispenses, these were drawn out of the well of God's word. That's why regular time alone in God's Word is so important, even if you are a busy mom. If you're so busy that you can't make it happen, then maybe your husband needs to step up. Husbands, maybe you should step up here. Does your wife have the opportunity to immerse herself in God's Word? It doesn't really matter when, but is there regular time in the week for her to do this? Are you willing to look after your kids for an hour to make that happen, if that's necessary? Are you giving her the room to grow into this kind of a woman? Or do you just expect it to happen in your life, this grace? Because the fact is that women like this don't just appear. They are made this way through God's grace. They become like this through God's grace. And so when you see a godly woman taking care of her family, you are seeing what the grace of God can do in a woman's life. And that grace in turn is passed on to the children in faithful instruction. So this woman also was instructed as a child, and if you see a woman of noble character, it's because she had a mother of noble character. Young men, you should be paying attention here. Listen carefully. Are you listening to this text? It's speaking to you. By God's grace, one day you are going to get married, probably, and the woman that you marry will be the mother of your children, if the Lord gives you children. So you need to ask yourself, if you are going to be in a relationship, or if you are already in a relationship with a woman, what is she like? Is she a woman of noble character? Is she wise? Does she fear the Lord? Or are you pursuing a girl because of her looks? You know, it's probably the dumbest thing you can do as a man. And maybe that's blunt, but sometimes blunt is good. It's the dumbest thing you can do. The most catastrophic thing you can do for your life is to marry only for looks, whether you're a man or a woman. It's the most foolish thing you could do. Charm is deceptive, says our text. Charm is deceptive because it fools you into thinking that beauty equals nobility. And we live in a culture which has assigned that value to beauty, that said that people that are beautiful are in many ways superior to those who are not, and many of us believe that. And it's not true. You can have women who have a noble character and who are beautiful, that's true, but beauty in and of itself is not virtuous. Beauty does not mean, it does not bestow the gift of moral goodness or kindness. It does not bestow character. Beauty is fleeting, says scripture. If the only thing holding you together is her beauty, well, you're going to have a long and difficult life. You need a woman who fears the Lord. And if you intend to marry one day, you should be praying now, even if you're still single, even if you're not dating, you should be praying now to the Lord to show you or to show you that woman, to guide you to her. You should be praying for her, even if you don't know her yet. He's the one who made her in the first place. He is the one who can lead you to her. But you need to pray about these things. And ladies, young ladies, By God's grace, you may one day be in a relationship. Maybe you're in a relationship already. And you should be asking yourself this question. Why is he actually attracted to me? Is it only because of my looks? Or is it because he has the spiritual maturity to recognize a noble woman when he sees one? And it's really important to get this right because if he's only after your looks, then guess what? It means he's spiritually blind. He's blind to your true character. And if he doesn't appreciate your true character now, well, what makes you think that he will appreciate your true character later when you do maybe have five under five and you are working as hard as you can and you're wondering, how did you end up here? You see, in the end, this passage, like every other part of Scripture, points us back to God, and our need for God, and our dependence on God, and our relationship with God. That's where the true value of this woman in Proverbs 31 comes from. It comes from her relationship with God. She belongs to God. She fears God. A woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. She fears God, that's where her value comes from, not only from all of the stuff that she produces, because that's substantial, but what happens when you can't produce that anymore due to old age or illness or other reasons? Then do you suddenly not matter anymore? No, it says a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. She belongs to God. She fears Him. She has reverence for Him. She wants to live out His will in her life. She embodies the wisdom that He provides, however imperfectly she embodies it. She still tries. She's close to the Lord, and that's where it comes from, her wisdom and her strength, and that's why she's considered blessed. Verse 28. Her children rise up and call her blessed. To be blessed, the word ashray means to be congratulated. Her children and her husband recognize that the source of her strength lies in God. They're not just congratulating her on the work that she accomplished. Wow, mom, you sure did a lot while we were sitting here watching you. That's not the sort of congratulation that this is. They recognize that she is who she is because God has accomplished a great work in her, and they call her blessed. You are that kind of woman, a wife of noble character. So that brings us to the part that specifically challenges men, although hopefully much of this has already challenged the men, but this passage is a passage That challenges married men as well, because there are many men who want their wife to behave like this. They want her to do all of the things that are described in this passage, but they do not value the things that make her who she is. Remember, the things that make her who she is are the word of God worked out in her life. That's what makes her who she is. And you cannot, on the one hand, pay lip service to the gospel, and then on the other hand, actually commit yourself to secular priorities. You cannot hold these two things together. Intention, it will not work. It cannot be done. Many tried, no one has succeeded. But the temptation is always there. Because we live in a culture which tells men that there are a very limited number of standards by which we are to evaluate the women in our lives. And all of these standards are physical. But none of these standards are in this passage that we read. Yet, there are men who have consciously or unconsciously made these standards their own and they feed it constantly by what they look at on their phones or by what they think of when they're at the beach, by the stuff that they notice and contemplate. And then they experience cognitive dissonance and tension when they read a passage like this one. They read it and they feel restless and it doesn't speak to them. Got the sense of resistance. Well, where is that coming from? Because it doesn't really interest them. So when you experience cognitive dissonance, if this passage doesn't resonate with you, if you're feeling friction and irritation in your heart right now, you should be praying about this. You should examine yourself. Hebrews 12, verse 15 and 16 warns us about a root of bitterness. Bitterness in the life of a Christian is deadly. And the question is, have you let a root of bitterness thrive in your relationship? Have you criticized her for what she is not? instead of praising her for what she is, a woman who in her life more and more is learning to reflect the image of God. Have you encouraged her in reflecting that image or have you discouraged her by her attitude, bearing in mind that one day you will stand before the throne of God and give an account of your life? and you will be responsible for the woman that you have lived with. In the sense that, did the way that you live with her, did that encourage her more and more to reflect the image of God? Has your life together more and more encouraged the image of God to grow in her, or has your attitude and your bitterness resisted the work of God in her life so that she became a bitter and angry woman herself? If she has, you will be held to account for that. Do not let a root of bitterness thrive in your relationship. You know, sometimes the gospel is not so much what a passage says, but what it reveals in our hearts, including a passage like this. You know, if it reveals sin in our hearts, and if we repent from that, then we have still experienced the gospel. then God has still used his word to work grace on our hearts. So is that the case for us this morning? Have we failed in this area? Do we want to turn to God in repentance and faith? Do we believe that he will renew us? Do we believe that he will renew our hearts and minds? so that eventually we are unable to value the kinds of things that this passage calls us to value. The Bible has a word for that, it's called sanctification, to be sanctified, to be made more and more holy, to be transformed by the ongoing work of God in your life so that all of the bitterness, all of the resistance, all of the hard-heartedness, slowly, incrementally, over time, is transformed by the gospel and you your heart becomes soft and malleable in the hands of God. And our passage says this can happen to you also when you're a man. It suggests that because the work of grace that made this woman who she was can also make you the man that you need to be. Today is Mother's Day. Our text says a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. And you notice that this is a command. She is to be praised. It's not a suggestion. So this is a good day to obey this command. We know what a woman who fears the Lord is like, but now how do we praise her? Well, as far as the husband is concerned, it's essential that he recognizes the important role that his wife plays, certainly in a day-to-day level. And that's also suggested in verse 28. He needs to acknowledge that he could not do what he does without her. But, and this is important, it's also critical to put her work in a bigger perspective. You know, it's not just that he praises her for being such a good housekeeper, because remember, there's more to her than that. She's a dispenser of wisdom. She's a model of Christian self-sacrifice. It's not just her works that should bring her praise, but the motivation and the person behind it. And the children should be made aware of this, and they should be taught to respect their mother, and that should be consistently enforced. In verse 28, the children, who are probably adults by now, they rise in the presence of their mother. And in those days, it was a form of respect. a recognition of her contribution in their lives. Maybe today our culture in Australia is slightly less formal than that. But in every way that we can, children should still be taught to show respect. Respect needs to be there. Fathers, do not ever let your children get away with disrespecting their mothers. You make sure you have her back. You do that. They shouldn't disrespect anyone, but especially not their mother. And then finally, the last phrase in our text in verse 31 says, give her of the fruit of her hands. Well, what's the ultimate fruit of her hands? It's not just a clean toilet, because it'll get dirty again. It's not just clean laundry, because it'll need to be washed again. But it is to see the results of her labor, which is what? It is a family shaped by the wisdom that she embodies, to see that wisdom continuing in the next generation. So children and adult children as well, so really all of us, what's the best present that you can give to your mother on Mother's Day? The best Mother's Day present you can give to your mother is to live close to the Lord and to embody His wisdom. And you will know how to do so because she taught you, didn't she? You know. You will thank Christ for the incredible gift that He gave to you through your mother. And so may all of our lives be characterized by that thankfulness. And may the blessing that God gave us through our mother so be multiplied and glorify him. Amen.