The following message was given at Trinity Bible Church in Powell, Wyoming. Well, if you'd open up your copy of God's Word again to 1 Corinthians, we're going to continue in chapter 7. There are definitely four chapter breaks in our modern Bibles, and this is one of them. And oftentimes we come to chapter 7 really without working through the context of chapter 6. And so the reason I spent so much time in chapter 6 this morning was really to get to chapter 7. But I wanted to lay the foundation, make sure we understood the context for 1 Corinthians chapter 7. So let me read verses 1 through 6. This is the Word of the Lord. Now concerning the matters about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman. But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to her wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement, for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer, but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control." Now, as a concession, not a command, I say this. I wish that all were as myself am. but each has his own gift from God. One has one kind, and one another." Well, like I said, this particular group of passages are often taken out of context. And we look to them for guidance related to marriage and our sexual relationships, and there is tremendous help for us in this. But we may not do that removed from the previous text where we were talking about sexual immorality. Paul, as he enters this section, not sure if he was reminded while he was writing this of the question, but there was a question submitted to him, probably in a previous letter, that asked him this very question. It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman. That's his answer, but he But there's some confusion in Corinth about how to respond as a married person, and as someone who's being tempted to sexual immorality, living in the context of sexual immorality, and so he's dealing with this topic. Is it good or is it not good to have sexual relations with a woman? He has provided context for this answer already in Tusk's discussion about sexual morality and this consideration of our union with Christ and using our bodies to glorify God, but then he provides the remainder of an answer. He says very tactfully and very That's the word I was thinking of, and I don't have it written down because I don't stay on my notes like I'm supposed to. This is a very tactfully and very craftily he provides an answer. He's dealing with a complex context for this question. There are people that have come to the conclusion in Corinth that abstinence must be the solution to these sexually immoral problems and temptations. And they have started living this very stoic life, a life where they have removed themselves from the temptations, they've tried to suppress the appetites within them, and they've come to the conclusion, it's better to just abstain and really compress myself into this semi-righteous box so that I'm not tempted. There's this group within the church, there's also a group that he has been dealing with, that are saying, listen, it really doesn't matter. And so he has to provide an answer in writing that are going to be read by both groups. And he knows there's some tension there. So the answer he provides is masterful. He says, but because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. And he really deals with both camps at this point. He admits that there's temptation. that there is sexual immorality, there is sin in this context that must be considered, but then he also says, if you're married, the outworking of those, there's a natural part of your married life that's going to be outworked in your married life, and he's basically saying, if you're married, enjoy one another. It puts the context of marriage, the enjoyment of the gift. If you're not married, then you must resist the sexual temptation. But neither one, stoicism does not answer either one. And so he makes this positive statement as he begins working through a fuller explanation of his answer. But that's his initial answer. What cannot be taken from this answer, though, and often becomes the thinking of some, is that the marital sexual relationship is now the only means to curb the temptations of a sexual appetite. Some people read that text and they say, oh, here's God's provision. Sure, I have these natural appetites within me. Sure, I have been working self-control and I understand the area of sin that I should resist. But now I have great freedom and liberty in this one area. And guess what? My wife or my husband is now going to deliver me from this temptation. And they use this text to say, listen husband, listen wife, you are now my great deliverer of all the temptations I will ever experience as a sexual being. And great harm and destruction is done in marriages that flow out of this one text. What some people hear in Paul's response is, if I'm tempted towards sexual immorality, it is now my spouse's responsibility to deliver me from those temptations. And it is wicked. And if they don't deliver me, then whatever proceeds to happen in this area of my life is their fault. Because my wife or my husband has not done what has been required of them. And I am so tempted now. that the sin that follows, I'm going to lay on you as your responsibility. That's why the context that leads us to this text is so vitally important that we see that first, we are children of God and not a husband and not a wife. That we enter into those relationships first and foremost, people that have been washed by the blood of Christ. that have been sanctified by Christ, that have been justified by Christ, that are in union with Christ, that have been purchased by Christ, that are living our lives for the glory of God, and then, as a very distant second, all of that, oh, I'm a husband, or oh, I'm a wife. But primarily, we are children of God, and we must orient ourselves to this relationship first, as a child of God. The other difficulty with this text is, what if I'm single? What if God has not provided a spouse for me yet? Is there no hope? What do we tell our teenagers who are not married? Good luck. I mean, just don't let me, just, I don't want to know anything about it. What do we tell them, really? Well, Paul mentions self-control in verse 5. And we notice in Titus, when Paul is talking to Titus, he says, Titus, teach the older men to be sober-minded, temperate, self-controlled. Teach the older women to be these things. Self-control is part of that. Teach the younger women to be self-controlled. And then he says, listen, and teach our young men one thing. self-control. We must, from the littlest size up to adult, have as our primary orientation self-control. Paul writes about this in 2 Corinthians 5, and he says, well, we're going to reorient that thinking to being controlled by the love of Christ, but in the context of, I'm going to be working on these things. I don't need external people influencing my life to control me. I tell people all the time, when does a boy become a man? When he can exercise self-control. When he does not need his parents, his teachers, the law enforcement, external people orienting him to control his behavior. Some people never actually become a man. They live in this boyhood state their entire life because they need external influences to control them. Some people can do that fairly young. OK, the context of self-control is the context that this is oriented to. So if we have singles, we cannot say to them, listen, you're just on your own. Good luck until you're married. We say, no, we need to live a life of self-control. We also then need to come to Christ and come and receive all the power to live this redeemed, resurrected life as a young person. And then, if by God's grace, He gives you a spouse, there's another area that will help with this. But if you don't have that, you're not missing out. It's not that you haven't been given the resources to live a life that glorifies God, because everything you need is already yours in Christ. The spouse is an added layer to this. Oh, we cannot look to one another and say, listen, if you are not oriented to satisfy my needs in this area, spouse, then I have no hope of living a life that glorifies God. That is not true. And it actually is manipulative and can be actually spiritual abuse to leverage relationships using these texts for your own good. Okay. Paul continues to provide boundaries or context for this relationship as we enter into our main point for this message is that Paul gives us three ways we glorify God in our marital sexual relationships. And my outline is given, governed, and gifted. And they come from the next text, with that as kind of the foundation. Verse 3. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. If that needs further definition, you can look it up, or work it within your families. but of conjugal rights. But what is being said here is a husband should give to his wife something that is owed to her, or a wife to her husband. Now, this idea of give can also be translated render, and often is translated render. It is also translated pay, and all the times that this word is used, it is really talking about, I am giving you something that is owed you. Like, I have something in my hand that you may have labored for, but now I am called in a legitimate transaction to give you something that is not mine anymore because you actually labored for it. The labor's been done and I owe you this thing. I have it. Rendering has been the most useful term for me because it is used by Paul and by Jesus. in different translations. Paul uses this basic concept in Romans 3, 7, where he says, pay to all what is owed to them. Give to all what is owed. So they're owed something, and I have it. And I'm being asked by God to give it to them. They're the rightful owner of it, but I currently have it. Pay to all what is owed to them. Taxes to whom taxes are owed. Revenue to whom revenue is owed. Respect to whom respect is owed. Honor to whom honor is owed. Paul is reiterating what Jesus says when asked about paying taxes. Jesus said, render, or to give, the Caesar the things that are Caesar's, and to God the things that are God. In all these cases, the possessing of an object is more of a stewardship. Like, I have something in my possession, but I'm not actually the rightful owner. I'm holding it, caring for it, until the rightful owner asks for it. Caesar, I have resources, but it's not all mine. I'm being entrusted with it. I'm stewarding it. And as Pastor Brian can attest, when Caesar says, pay your taxes, we're to pay our taxes. It's not his money. And if he doesn't, he's actually going to go to jail. And so this This idea of possession or stewardship is very, very important. Our sexuality is similar to that in the way that this verse is actually written. A husband should render, give to his wife, her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife's husband. You are a steward of this gift of God. It is not yours, but you are caring for it as a rightful owner until it is requested. You are a steward of your sexuality, but it is not yours. You're caring for it. You're guarding it. You're protecting it. You're nurturing it. But it is your spouse's if God so chooses to give you a spouse. and as they determine, and for their good, it is rendered to them. All your sexual thoughts, all your emotions, all your energies, all your passions, all your actions are not yours, but are part of the gift that you are protecting and stewarding. It is not to be used for selfish purposes. It is not to be tarnished or mishandled or damaged. It is to be cared for. And this is super important that our young people hear this. You have been given part of your life, and you are to steward it and to care for it and guard it. And if God so chooses, at a certain time, if he gives you a spouse, it's to be used for one purpose, for their good. Okay. I understand this is a difficult subject for many. We are involved in a culture where there's much sexual sin. There's very poor teaching. And actually our culture has a much louder, much clearer voice in these areas than the church does. And so we often come to this very broken and hurting, filled with great despair, regret, And often we've been betrayed, we've experienced trauma in relation to these things. But please don't hear me say to you that in any way you should carry the burden of this brokenness. This is part of the washing. This is part of the sanctifying, being set apart from whatever was going on before, being set apart now to something new as an honorable vessel. God brings us out of this. He shows us these things. And He forgives us and He cleanses us. And we can live for His glory, no matter what background we came out of in regards to this. What I want to be heard is this. We are responsible for the care of our own sexuality. We're responsible for our own self-control. We're responsible for the protection and care of this sexuality because it is not ours. We are just the stewards of it. We all need God's particular grace in this part of our life. It is a very difficult battle because it is such a profound passion and an appetite that if not started young with self-control and good teaching and understanding of how God works these things in our life, It will control us, and it will break many relationships. You might be saying, and I dealt with this a little bit, I don't have a spouse, but the principles are the same. This gift can be abused by corrupting it in all kinds of various ways, and our culture will just provide an endless supply of ways that this can be corrupted. Pornography, unfettered lusting, self-pleasing acts like masturbation, These are really pilfering or stealing from this gift. I am stewarding this for the good of another. But I'm pilfering, I'm stealing from it. I'm misusing it. You have been entrusted with and you've been asked to protect it. Many of us have never heard of our sexuality in these terms and may be feeling tremendous guilt. But you, believer, have been washed, sanctified, and justified. We can confess our sins. We can come to Him. He will receive us. He'll welcome us in. And He will help put our feet on a new path and set us on a new course where we can honor Him in these areas. Paul then brings the application to this idea of rendering or stewarding and giving in our second point, govern. The next verse in Verse 4, for the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. This is one of the most misused and perverted and harmful texts in all of the Bible. I cannot tell you the amount of people I've met with that have had this verse used to oppress them sexually in egregious ways. And again, we're not reading it in context. We haven't had good teaching on what this actually means. Often, usually men will read this text and use it to justify their sinful actions. It supports a perverted and demanding fulfillment of my appetite. Look, it says right here, I have authority over your own body. I want whatever I want, and you are God's means to satisfy me. And this is the text right here. If you want to be a godly woman, a faithful wife, you will submit to this text. That's the way it's often used. Wives, what Paul is saying is this. Since we have been entrusted with a gift that is not yours, but you are stewarding it for the good of another, they, in a sense, have authority over its use as the rightful owner. I'm stewarding this gift for the good of my wife. She has authority over what good actually is. So now my sexuality is regulated and guided by the good of my wife. And it is to be used for whatever she determines is good. Wives are stewarding their sexual gifts for the good of their husbands. Husbands are stewarding their sexual gifts for the good of their wives. In either case, the spouse is the one that determines it's appropriate and good use. The husband doesn't get to demand as an authority to have his appetite and desire satisfied by the wife or vice versa. He is first a man of self-control. single men and women have to be self-controlled as well, then to be controlled by the love of Christ as those who are seeking to glorify God, and then, in the context of marriage, he's under the authority of his wife. In no way is any of this to be used for his own pleasure, or according to his own good. In a sense, the operator's manual for our sexuality is written by your spouse. The husband is informed about how he is to behave sexually by what is good for his wife. The wife is informed about how she is to behave sexually by what is good for her husband. Neither gets to make one move for their own good or for their own gratification. They are both governed by the other. It is the work of both to be asking the Lord to help them use their sexuality for the good of their spouse. Neither gets to demand anything from the other. for their sexuality is not for their good, but under the authority of the other. As is usually true, there is vast differences between people in the outworking of these things. And I could take every married couple in here and have a conversation about what good means to you, and it's going to be different. So what do we do then? Well, then both of us, go before the Lord, and we ask the Lord, Lord, would you so work in my heart that you transform me in this area of my life so that it becomes everything and only what my wife would see as good? And the wife would say, Lord, would you work in my heart so that this part of my life is everything and only what is for the good of my husband. And then we meet somewhere in the middle. In every movement that a husband makes, self-control, for the good of his wife, whatever that means, whatever movement, the wife can say, oh, look, God's working in the heart of my husband. God is working right there. And the same for a husband watching a wife. and as we are sanctified, as we become more flesh, both the things we consider good are tempered, and the outworking of that in our relationship becomes mutually beneficial. But it has to start with this idea that this gift is not for me. I'm stewarding it for the good of another. Neither is permitted to act selfishly for their own good. Paul then says that if we are to withdraw for a while, that we do it for a stated purpose, for a specific period of time, probably for the reorientation where these things become skewed or where we're having missteps in this relationship. But he doesn't specify that. But there is a time where we can abstain sexually for a stated purpose. God never intended for this part of our lives to be self-serving or governed by your appetites. there to be governed by who we are in Christ as resurrected children. And then verse 6, now as a concession, not a command, I say this, I wish all were as I myself am, but each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. My third point is that this is indeed a gift. This is a part of our life that God has gifted to us. It is by His sovereign decree that He gives us these particular things used in the manner and for the purpose that He gets to decide. But they are gifts. Paul here refers to those who have chosen to be single and those who have been married. Both. The one who abstains as a single person and the one who is in a marital relationship are both stewards of gifts. This gift is from God and is given to them as those redeemed by Jesus to be used according to that gift. Our sexuality is a wonderful gift from God. It has a specific purpose in our lives as we live for the glory of God. It is not intended for selfish use. It is not to be used in any way for anything other than to glorify God and for the good of our spouse if we're married. We have indeed been purchased by the blood of Christ, united to Christ, and in the context of our marital relationship, this is a good gift. May God glorify himself as we live this resurrected life in all areas of our life, but in particular in light of our sexuality, for his glory. Father, help us to this end. We plead with you that you would work in us, really put to death these selfish desires, these things that we live for our own glory, for our own good, and that we could indeed do nothing from selfish ambition but humility, consider others more significant than ourselves, even and especially in these marital relationships. Oh Lord, we are stewards of this gift, and indeed it is a gift. May you help us to do it well. May we be a voice. in our culture to say that indeed this God in His kindness has bestowed these gifts, but they are to be used for His glory. We pray this in Jesus' name. You have been listening to a message from Trinity Bible Church in Powell, Wyoming. To receive more information about Trinity Bible Church or to support the ministry, go to tbcwyoming.com. That is tbcwyoming.com.