I am so grateful to be a parent. And today's session is entitled Maximum Parenting. And as we work through it, we see throughout the scripture, there's the ups and downs of parenting, even in the midst of the scriptures. And some personal reflections. We start out with the high here in Genesis 4, verses 1 and 2. It says, Now Adam knew Eve, his wife, And she conceived and bore Cain saying, I have gotten a man with the help of the Lord. And again, she bore his brother Abel. Now Abel was a keeper of sheep and Cain, a worker of the ground. And so that's a high. These children are born and they've even taken on jobs now. And that's exciting. But then we get to the low Genesis four verse eight. Cain spoke to Abel, his brother, and when they were in the field, Cain rose up against his brother Abel and killed him. Then we move up to the high again. Psalm 127, verse 3. Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. And so they are a blessing. But then the low, Genesis 27 verse 46, Then Rebekah said to Isaac, I loathe my life because of the Hittite women. If Jacob marries one of the Hittite women like these, one of the women of the land, what good will my life be to me? And so a mom who had invested in her child, wants him to do well, she wants him to marry well, and she's terrified of the fact that he might marry some foolish woman. She doesn't want that for him. Then we move back up to Proverbs 10 verse 1, a proverb of Solomon. A wise son makes a glad father, but a foolish son is a sorrow to his mother. And that's true. What a wise son would do is make dad glad. But then we go down to 2 Samuel 18, verse 33. And this is David. And the king was deeply moved and went up to the chamber over the gate and wept. And as he went, he said, O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom, would I had died instead of you, O Absalom, my son, my son. And your heart breaks for him because his son was foolish and what resulted because of that. But then we move up to Proverbs 17, verse 6. Grandchildren are the crown of the aged. and the glory of children is their fathers. And so you just see the back and forth of those generations and the love that they have for one another. But then we go down to 1 Samuel 2, verse 22. Now, Eli was very old and he kept hearing all that his sons were doing to all Israel and how they lay with the women who were serving at the entrance to the tent of meeting. And Eli's heart is broken. Then we go up to Proverbs 29, verse three. He who loves wisdom makes his father glad, but a companion of prostitutes squanders his wealth. And we're like, okay, dad can be glad because his son is following wisdom. But then we go down to Proverbs 17, verse 25. A foolish son is a grief to his father and bitterness to her who bore him. heartbreaking. And then we go back up to Psalm 127 verse 3 again. Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb, a reward. And we smile because that is so true. But then we come down to Judges 11, verse 35. And as soon as he saw her, he tore his clothes and he said, alas, my daughter, you have brought me very low and you have become the cause of great trouble to me for I have opened my mouth to the Lord and I cannot take back my vow, that story of Jephthah. his rash words and how that affected his children. And then we get up to Matthew chapter 3 in verse 17 and we see this, And behold, a voice from heaven said, This is my beloved son, with whom I am well pleased. And so we see the good son, but then we see from Luke 15 verses 11 through 13, and he said, There is a man who had two sons, and the younger of them said to his father, Father, give me the share of property that is coming to me. And he divided his property between them. Not many days later, the younger son gathered all he had and took a journey into a far country. And there he squandered his property in reckless living." And so we see the heartbreaking story of the prodigal son. Aren't you glad that the story didn't stay there? That the younger son came back but then we see the heartbreaking part of the older brother who was so proud of his staying home, but he wasn't one that was close to the Father. He was close to the Father locally, physically, but he was not with his heart. And so those are the ups and downs of parenting and we could have kept going with the Word of God because we see it throughout. Well, secondly, We see four handlebars for maximum parenting. I don't know about you, but I had opportunity as a kid to ride a bike a lot. And I remember riding through the streets of Chicago, through the alleys, and there were times where there was a clear pathway. And I remember riding without with my hands, not on the handlebars. And it drove my father nuts because he thought at any point if I hit a little pebble or something, I could crash. That never happened, thankfully. But I can see now as a parent what that must have been like for him to watch me do that. But we're gonna hold on to these four handlebars for maximum parenting because maximum parenting without holding onto the handlebars would be foolish. And so here's the first one, A, hold on to the goal. And here's the goal from the beginning. We see from Genesis chapter 1, verse 28, And so we were to not just have children, but have children that are going to ultimately subdue and rule the earth. They were going to be godly difference makers. They were going to be people that impacted the world for good. And so you have to hold on to that goal. But secondly, the greatest joy is seen in 3 John, verse 4, I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth. And that is the case. I don't care. It would be great that they get a good job, it'd be great that they have a nice looking family, that merit can dream, all the things that the world would look at and say that's great. Get all A's in school, that's fine, but if they don't love the Lord, if they don't have a desire to marry well, if they don't have a desire to parent well, If the things that really matter, the things that on your deathbed you think, this is what I should have invested in, then what's it worth? And so I think greater joy doesn't come unless our children are walking in the truth, they're walking with God. Because you know that if they walk with God, all of those other things are gonna take care of themselves. They're going to be the spouse that they need to be. They're going to be the son or daughter that they need to be. And so that's where joy comes from. And two things to never stop doing, pointing our children to God, always pointing back to God and his wisdom. and then praying that they will go there. So it's one thing to point, but it's another thing we can't force. And if we do force, it's not going to be effective. And so we need to keep pointing them to God. But B, Hold on to your time. There's the next handlebar. Hold on to your time. Look at this in Ephesians 5 verses 15 and 16. Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time because the days are evil. And so the idea is they must have some filter over everything that they're involved in time-wise. I need to understand that reactive time management when you approach time that way isn't necessarily a good thing because I'm just constantly reacting to things. There will be times where that is the case where I have to react and make a decision, but better proactive time management. What am I doing with my time? And work that out and have plans not be completely ruled by your calendar. I remember a guy that I spent time with on his vacation. It's almost like he had everything down to every five minutes and that drove his family nuts. I think it's more the person who is willing to be free and willing to make decisions based on wise choices and talking to people that have that wisdom. So that's another handlebar. Here's another one. Hold on to your responsibility. This verse here in Psalm 78 verse 72. With upright heart he shepherded them and guided them with a skillful hand. We must live with integrity. That's one of our responsibilities. We must live with integrity. Our kids will see that a mile away. And then secondly, we must constantly upgrade our parenting skills so that they see that we're willing to change over the years and how we even approach them. I cannot talk to my children and treat them as children as they become adults. At some point, they have to be looked at and coached instead of controlled. When they're little, that's one thing, but even as they're growing older, to make those decisions, there's just wisdom there to hold on to our responsibility. And then lastly, D, hold on to your mate. Colossians 3.19 says, husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. That is the crux of the matter. I've seen people completely invested in their children at the detriment of their spouse. And so love your children, fantastic, but the greatest way to love your children this greatest gift you can give your kids is to love their mother. So as you look at this maximum parenting, I know this is stuff that most of the time we know and when we look at charts from past times that we have been together, all of these things point to this. But let me ask you some questions as we're wrapping things up. What has been the most important thing you've learned about parenting in the past three weeks? And does one thing stand out and could you explain that to your group together? And then what one improvement could you make right now that would improve your parenting skills 25%? And then explain that. And then lastly, which of the four handlebars for maximum parenting requires your attention the most right now? And why? What one action step could you take immediately to address it? And then could you explain that? How are we doing then?