Please turn your Bibles to 1 Corinthians and chapter 7. 1 Corinthians and chapter 7 and verse 39. I want to speak about that verse and particularly the very last statement in that verse. which reads, only in the Lord. Let me read the whole verse. A wife is bound by law as long as her husband leaves. But if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes. Only in the Lord. Only in the Lord. Now this morning I want to briefly talk about what we sometimes refer to as compatibility. Compatibility in marriage. And perhaps the best way of starting is to tell you about a white friend of mine whose daughter was being courted by a young, handsome, black Zulu boy. This friend of mine grew up in apartheid South Africa and was not used to seeing people of different races and cultures getting married. So as you might expect, he wasn't exactly comfortable about his white Africana daughter entertaining a possible marriage to a black Zulu boy. He feared that their differences may be the occasion for much unhappiness and possibly a total breakdown of their marriage, if they should get married. In other words, he didn't think they were compatible on purely racial and cultural grounds. So he wrote to me to ask for my honest opinion and counsel. In a sense, what I'm going to share with you in this sermon was my answer to this dear friend who once upon a time was also a member of my flock in South Africa. I believe that the answer I gave is relevant to this relationship, this newfound relationship between Musonda and Iwananji that has been formally constituted today. And it is relevant because although they are of the same race, although they are both Africans, In fact, they come from different family backgrounds, different worldviews, and different cultural backgrounds. Many of us, when we get married, we come from different backgrounds. And in a sense, therefore, we start off being incompatible. Compatibility in modern marriage is often associated with external harmony or unity. This being the case, it is believed that compatibility is achieved by sharing a common race, a common age, common education, a common culture, common social status, common hobbies. He loves to play Snoopy, so we are compatible. He loves to take walks along the beach, and so do I, so we are compatible. He loves to read stories, well, so do I, and so we are compatible. That is very often how the modern world, sometimes even modern Christians, think about compatibility. Now while it is true that people of the same economic status, of the same social and economic level or educational level seem to get along better, Such compatibility is in fact not essentially important. It has a place, but it's not very important. As a matter of fact, couples with these common traits have been known to have failed in their marriages. People who start out thinking, oh, they are so alike in so many ways, have ended up divorced. What happened to their so-called compatibility? It didn't help them stick together. On the other hand, there are many, many people who came from different races perhaps, from different cultural backgrounds. They were read under completely different worldviews. They got married and their marriages have endured. So compatibility doesn't necessarily mean external harmony. Well, if that is not what it means, what does it mean? Especially in Christian marriage. This is the question I want to answer this morning. The context of our text seems to be spoken in answer to some question that the Corinthians put to Paul. And I think the specific question he's answering here is may a woman remarry whose husband has died? Well, the answer obviously is yes. But then he goes on to add, she may marry, but only in the Lord. Please notice that statement. only in the Lord. In 2nd Corinthians chapter 6 and verse 14 Paul put it negatively. There Paul warns believers against forging partnerships with unbelievers and encourages them rather to be separate from unbelievers. From time to time as elders, we get a young man or a young woman come to us and announce that they want to get married. And we say, oh, that's nice, that's good. Who do you want to marry? And sometimes they introduce non-believers to us. And we say, you can't. The reason is that Paul says you can only marry in the Lord. And the reason is that Paul says you cannot forge partnerships with unbelievers. Only in the Lord. Now from this context, that is 1 Corinthians 7. and verse 39. I believe three things could be considered along with the text in 2nd Corinthians 6 and verse 14. Three things about compatibility. First, what it is. What it is. To be compatible means to be well matched to be well suited, to be companionable. And the idea of compatibility is well illustrated in the account of Adam meeting Eve. Before Eve came, Adam was the only human being in the Garden of Eden. The garden was full of creatures, animals, birds, name it. They were all there and they all had companions. But Adam was alone and in Genesis chapter 2 verse 18, When God looked at that situation, he saw that it was not good for the man to be alone. So he decided to make a helper suitable for him. And that word helper means someone who will fit him. Someone who will complement him. Now this compliment for Christians is not primarily external. Now you'll be interested to know that when God met this woman, he brought her to the man and when the man saw her, he gladly, joyfully exclaimed. He said something like, yes! This now is born of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman. The lions couldn't fit me and the giraffes couldn't fit me. The birds couldn't fit me. But this one, yes. She is born of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. She is from my bones. She is from my flesh. She soothes me. She feeds me. Well, in spiritual terms, she must be from the same spiritual nature as you. She must be in the Lord, even as you are. This means, one, to be compatible is for both of you to be Christians. To be compatible is for both of you to share common Christian beliefs. Sometimes even marrying someone from a different church can be problematic. Someone with a different theological and doctrinal basis can be problematic. But anyhow, what is important is that your believers You have the same understanding of who the Lord is. You have the same experience of receiving the Lord in your lives. You have the same experience of growing in the Lord, of growing the nature of the Lord in your lives. You both have the image of Christ. And the closest thing to describing the image of Christ is Galatians chapter 5 verse 22 and 23, which speaks about the fruit of the Spirit. The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, self-control, gentleness, Those qualities are basically the description of the nature of Christ. If you are in the Lord, you will have those qualities as well. You will have those characteristics as well. When you have those, It doesn't matter what your physical or external differences might be. You can overcome them. When you share that, you are compatible. That's what compatibility in a Christian marriage means. But let's notice secondly, What challenges compatibility? What challenges compatibility? To be sure, when you are not compatible, externally speaking, you might face a little challenge, but I insist it's only a little challenge. When you don't share the same culture, you may face a little challenge. When you don't come from the same race and you don't have the same world view, you may face a little challenge, but it's only a little. The greatest challenge will come from sin. Sin. First of all, sin in your hearts. Pride. That's the greatest challenge you will face. Pride. Where you view yourself as a somebody. Somebody high, somebody great. You have a very high opinion of yourself and a very low opinion of your friend. A very high opinion of your worldview and a very low opinion of your friend's worldview. A very high opinion of your culture and a very low opinion of your friend's culture. A very high opinion of your background and a very low opinion of your friends. A very high opinion of your abilities and a very low opinion of your friends. They can apologize to you, you can't apologize to them. Sin, that's the greatest challenge to compatibility. In 2 Corinthians chapter 6 and verse 14, this is how Paul puts it. He says, do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers, for what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? What communion has light with darkness? accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has an unbeliever with an unbeliever? What agreement has the temple of God with idols? Let me put it this way. If there is lawlessness in your relationship, that will be a challenge to compatibility. If sin is allowed in your relationship, that will be a challenge to compatibility. If Satan is allowed to be part of your relationship, that will be a challenge to compatibility. If idolatry is allowed to be part of the relationship, that will be a challenge to compatibility. If righteousness is what reigns in your relationship, That will be an aid to compatibility. If agreement, if Christ is allowed to reign in your relationship, that will aid compatibility. So sin is the enemy to compatibility. Satan is an enemy to compatibility. Much of that sin will come from yourselves, from within your own hearts. It will also come from without. You will also have temptation from outside of yourselves. Anything sinful, anything unrighteous, anything wicked, anything idolatrous, anything satanic, all of that, whatever is opposed to Christ, whatever is opposed to the Lord, because you have married in the Lord, whatever is opposed to the Lord, that will pose a challenge to your relationship, to compatibility. Well thirdly and lastly, What aids compatibility? What develops compatibility? Well, I want to say that it is rooting yourself in the Lord. This is what aids compatibility. If what brings you together in the first place is the Lord, if your marriage is in the Lord, then continuing to root yourself in the Lord is what will promote compatibility, is what will bring about happiness. And being in the Lord or rooting yourself in the Lord, first of all means knowing the Lord more. This marriage, was designed by the Lord. It was instituted by the Lord. It wasn't Adam who suggested to God that I'm alone here in this garden. Don't you think it would be a good idea for you to bring a woman along to give me a wife? It wasn't Adam who said that. Adam had no idea how his aloneness could be dealt with. God is the one who came and he saw that it was not good for the man to be alone. And God is the one who decided that he will make a helper suitable for him. And God is the one who decided what kind of helper Adam needed. God is the one who sent Adam to sleep, and while he was sleeping, he performed a small operation, he removed a rib from his side, he created a woman out of that rib, and he brought her to the man. To see what he would name her. and he officiated at the first wedding ceremony by bringing Adam and Eve together. It was God's idea all along. How were they going to ensure that they undertake this marriage in a way that was good for them and honoring to the one who brought about the idea? They were to be rooted in the ideas of the one who first designed and instituted marriage. So often we don't get it. So often we ask, but what has my relationship with the Lord to do with my relationship with my spouse? But there is everything to do with it. The Bible says if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another. If I walk with the Lord, I will have fellowship with others. Because walking with others is about walking with them in the light. How can I sustain that light? It is by having a relationship with the one who is light. That's the logic. The extent to which you walk with the Lord is very often the extent to which your relationship with your spouse will succeed. So invest in the knowledge of the Lord. That is the first thing. Secondly, put on the characteristics of the Lord. Put on Christ-like characteristics and habits. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, self-control, gentleness. It doesn't matter what pressures arise between yourselves. It doesn't matter what temptations come from without. If you can be like Christ, you can put up with them. Because of who Christ was, when he was insulted, he did not insult back. When he was persecuted, he responded in love. That's because of who he was. If you would respond in a similar fashion, You must be like him. This is the key to harmony in marriage relationships. Ultimately, it's about character. And what I'm saying is that you must have the character of Christ in order for you to succeed. This is how compatibility is developed. So I want to conclude in this way. A couple can be said to be compatible when there is spiritual and relational harmony between them. The key thing to bear in mind is that compatibility in a relationship has to do with spirituality. We can illustrate it this way. When the Lord Jesus Christ decided to marry, who did he choose? A white girl? Or a black girl? A Namuanga girl? Or a Bemba boy? Who did he marry? Well, Revelation 5 tells us that He chose from every tribe, every clan, every tongue, every nation. Ethnicity wasn't the issue for Christ. Tribe wasn't the issue. Clan wasn't the issue. The external things we often attach importance to, those were not the issues. The only thing that seemed to bother the Lord was sin. The sin of this bride. That's the only thing that seemed to bother Him. None of the external things. He gave himself, first of all, to the task of dealing with the sin of this bride. Dealing with her sin. meant giving over his life in death. The Bible tells us that he was made to be sin for her. He who knew no sin was made to be sin for her so that she might become the righteousness of God. So he dealt with the sin, made her righteous in him. and he has continued to cleanse her, to make her holy. That is his focus. And I want to suggest that that must be your focus. It is not the things that distinguish you. It is the things that unify you. And what unifies you is the fact that you are in the Lord. Whatever makes that look less and less, that's what you must deal with. Sin, unholiness, ungodliness, and strive together to be like Christ. to make your relationship like the relationship Christ sustains with his bride. This requires hard work. Don't go to sleep about it. Work hard. Pray much. Yield yourself to Christ and you will be compatible. You will find as you go on more and more that yes, it's not the external things that matters. It is what you share in the Lord. It is what you do together in the Lord. May your relationship therefore be an expression of what you do together in the Lord. Amen.